I know it's a challenge to think about actually getting a handle on jealousy and anger and fear and insecurity, but wouldn't it be nice to?
Well, now you can!
Overcoming Jealousy is a nine part series that will support anyone who wants to develop new responses to jealousy. Jealousy has long been accepted in this culture as a normal way of responding to feeling upset about the actions of another. Whether you are in a monogamous relationship, an open relationship, or still looking, jealousy can still become an issue.
Jealousy is not cute and affectionate, it actually destroys relationships. Now is your time to develop new responses to this emotion.
Overcoming Jealousy will take you on a nine step journey to healing. Jealousy brings out two other emotions, fear and anger. These emotions are usually the result or response to feeling jealous. This nine step system provides practical tools as well as heartfelt lessons about how it's important to cultivate peace and joy, rather than anger and fear. You will be easily guided to replace your prior responses to jealousy with quick and easy tips, practices, processes and meditations.
This kit includes 11 video lectures and 1 audio affirmation meditation download. You will discover:
Jealousy is actually not a negative emotion, it's there for a reason - usually it's informing you that there is something more you want, need or desire that you are simply not asking for or expecting. Usually jealousy shows us what we want, but we feel disempowered to reach for it. Jealousy can be utilized as a positive emotion if we would just decide that we will no longer respond to it with anger and fear. It's time to shift our responses.
Enjoy over 4.5 hours of instruction and meditative exercises as well as practical tools.
Enjoy and Good Luck!
Welcome to OVERCOMING JEALOUSY. This course is extremely important for us whether we're in a relationship or not. Why? Because as we will see, jealousy is a major cause agent in the failure of our intimate relationships, friendships, and business associations. It prevents us from working together and building community and raising all of our children fairly and equitably. It pits one group of people against another creating gridlock and dissention. For many of us jealousy has become a driver of our thinking, actions, and responses and has limited our ability to succeed in key areas of our life.
Our process for understanding and overcoming jealousy will be to go through and apply the 9 universal laws of success and transformation to this very issue. I'll guide you through the process. This course consists of videos that discuss each of these 9 universal laws and how to apply them to overcome jealousy. Here is our course outline:
--Stage 0: FINDING OUR CENTER
--Stage 1: DEFINING JEALOUSY
--Stage 2: COMMITTING TO CHANGE
--Stage 3: LIVING AND LETTING GO
--Stage 4: EMBRACING CHANGE
--Stage 5: SEEING THE LIGHT
--Stage 6: CONTROLLING OUR DESTINY
--Stage 7: PUSHING THROUGH
--Stage 8: AFFIRMING OUR TRUTH
****IMPORTANT: DO NOT MOVE ON TO THE NEXT STAGE UNTIL COMPLETING THE PREVIOUS ONE***
As you can see our course is comprehensive, but we'll stay focused and excel to achieve maximum results. Let's begin with Stage 0: FINDING OUR CENTER
Stage 0: FINDING OUR CENTER
Our first task is to understand that we are ok. We're fine just the way we are. No judgment, just aspiration, growth, and expasion. There is no need to think any thing other than we are destined for success in our lives and that all perceived mistakes and failures are simply lessons in our overall journey. This is just the way it is. So, with that said, we can relax into this work and live our lives knowing our salvation is assured.
We also must understand that in our relaxed and peaceful state is our center - the essential us. It's that place where we can always go to experience the peace that we are and find the best perspectives to address life's many challenges. A prerequisite for doing this work is to be able to find our center and sit in our relaxed peacefulness, free from emotional discord. How do we find our center? We stop our forward progress, breath in deeply down to our belly and relax before responding. Relax before thinking any further. We remember who we are and were before the drama hit and if we have trouble doing that then we walk away and go somewhere until we can.
Stage 1: DEFINING JEALOUSY
What is jealousy? How did we arrive at a place where jealousy is so widely accepted as an standard mode of functioning for adults? The word jealousy, in a modern cultural context, actually describes a feeling AND a specific response pattern to situations based on that feeling. The feeling itself is born from an emptiness and pain we feel as human beings when someone else has something that we covet or hold dear. The damage caused by the feeling and reaction of jealousy impacts everyone around us; especially, loved ones, but it hurts us the most. It holds us back from seeing clearly and from moving forward with our lives by simply accepting obvious realities. Jealously is like a glue that keeps us stuck on repeat. It doesn't only affect our intimate relationships, but our business relationships, and friendships as well.
Further, it's a childhood emotion that we weren't initiated out of. We were never taught to overcome it and check it and put it in it's proper place. We didn't even learn to view it as a silly emotional response and to not be regarded seriously.
That said, it can be overcome and used to our advantage. We can harness these feelings and apply the energy and emotion in a way that empowers us and aids towards our success. Let's review the video about jealousy so we can begin to move forward.
Welcome to the 2nd stage of our transformation process. By now we are clear on what JEALOUSY is, how it affects our lives, and why it's important to overcome it. We are clear on our mission. The next step is to COMMITTING to change. Our task in this stage is two fold: (1) learning how to make COMMITMENTS and (2) actually COMMITTING to empowering ourselves by overcoming JEALOUSY.
COMMITTING TO CHANGE
The challenge most people have with commitment is not understanding what it is. Commitment is not just you giving your word or an intellectual thing - it's a deep feeling thing. That's why commitment is a feminine principle because it involves the ability to feel on a deep level, not just know. When ever we've done this process in the past I've always instructed everyone to find a goal they FEEL strongly about and want badly because when the times get tough and you have to make choices or struggle or whatever, only the passion and deep feelings you have for your goal will carry you through. If you've ever embarked on a task and decided to drop it, for whatever reason, it simply means you were never committed to it in the first place.
So how do we commit? We make our goals a part of us by occupying our minds, thoughts, and entire mental space and emotions with what it is we are setting out to achieve. In this case you have to understand how JEALOUSY completely wreaks havoc on your relationship lives. How it prevents you from really experiencing what love is. Love and JEALOUSY cannot occupy the same space at the same time. They are polar opposites. So if you have even an ounce of JEALOUSY in your bones then you know for a fact you haven't truly experienced love at its heights.
What we're going to do is two things: ASSIGNMENT #1 - I need you to write out how your life will look without JEALOUSY. Write all the ways you'd like to see yourself free from it's grips. What would your love life look like? What would your friendships look like? How much more stress free would you be? You want to write as much as possible during this stage. The more you write the more you'll feel, remember, and increase your commitment capacity. ASSIGNMENT #2 - Meditate on all that you've written. Sit back and think about how your life would be without the burden of jealousy impacting it so. Contemplate your relationship life free of jealousy and full of love and acceptance. Contemplate your life providing you everything you need and desire and how much better things would be when you don't operate based on scarcity.
Let's review the accompanying video to learn more about COMMITMENT.
Welcome to stage 3 of our OVERCOMING JEALOUSY process, LIVING AND LETTING GO. By now you've had the opportunity to commit to improving and empowering yourself through the idea of mastering the emotion of jealousy and overcoming insecurity. We recognized that it was the internal void we felt that caused us to lash out and feel less than our best. It's always better to know than not to know.
STAGE 3: LIVING AND LETTING GO
We have arrived at a special time in our life. Know that today we are supported in letting go of the mental and emotional attachments that no longer serve us and have been weighing us down for much of our lives.
So that's what we're doing - identifying old limiting beliefs that just aren't true, and we know it, and letting them go. Beliefs and thoughts like, "jealousy is natural so me acting out is justified" or "she deserved it" or "I wasn't really jealous" or "he doesn't deserve her" or "I'm not insecure, they just pissed me off" or "if she wouldn't have done that, I never would have talked bad about her" or "I am my emotions" or "jealousy and acting out is natural". You get the picture. Beliefs that justify us not being at our best and thoughts that cover up how we really feel and give us a pass to continue to indulge unhealthy behaviors. As we've said before, it's all sourced from inside of us and doesn't have anything to do with what he or she did or said.
ASSIGNMENT #1: Take time to identify all of the beliefs that you have that justify you not being at your best. Beliefs that allow you to escape accountability in your behavior and prevent you from shining like the sun and being the star of your life. When it comes to jealousy, ensure you look at all the ways in which you deny that you have jealous feelings. It's important that we come to grips with the fact that we have feelings of jealousy to begin with. That's usually the ego's first line of defense in maintaining the status quo - denial. Look hard and long at yourself as it will be time well spent.
ASSIGNMENT #2: For all of the antiquated beliefs that you've identified, pick out the three or four main ones that are most relevant to you and put them into Clearing Affirmation statements as such:
--"I release all the ways I feel jealousy towards others. I am enough. I love others and accept them for who they are and their choices."
--"I clear all the feelings of emptiness inside. In this moment I fill my internal voids with love, confidence, and assurance of my greatness and divinity."
These are examples of clearing affirmation statements that you will say in the morning, afternoon, and evening, three times each.
Let's learn more about LIVING AND LETTING GO by reviewing the video associated with this lecture.
Today we begin to embrace change and for that reason it's a good day. It's a great phase of our OVERCOMING JEALOUSY journey because we get the chance to add special qualities to our character that put us at our best.
During the last stage, LIVING AND LETTING GO, we gave up a lot. Many of us saw some harsh truths about ourselves being displayed in the most unexpected and perhaps unusual ways and through our clearing affirmations we began the process of breaking down old thought and belief patterns that are at the root of conflict and disappointment in our lives. This is a great thing and although painful at times should be celebrated.
But, we live in a world governed by the many universal laws including the law of duality and for every break down there must be a build up either voluntarily or involuntarily. Which brings us to Stage 4 of our process, EMBRACING CHANGE. During this stage we have the opportunity to adopt certain beliefs and behavior patterns that build us up and help us advance our lives. We have the opportunity to really begin to act in a way the contradicts the patterns of jealousy and insecurity. This is where we get to prove it and for those of us who don't think jealousy is an issue in our lives we can simply reaffirm the positive qualities of love and acceptance that we already possess.
So here's what we need to do. ASSIGNMENT #1. Think about 'positive' behaviors and modes of functioning you'd like to incorporate into your life. For example, if you'd like to stay calm when your mate comes home late OR if you want to incorporate being more affectionate with your partner OR living your life like you belief that abundance, success, and happiness are your right as opposed to an elusive privilege. We all have our personal battles and things we'd like to improve and do better, so let's identify what it is for us. In general, I want everyone to focus on incorporating the idea of compersion into their lives during this stage. Compersion is the idea of supporting and being genuinely happy for others when they experience pleasure, period. Sounds simple, right? But compersion can be difficult because we have been trained to only feel happy when we feel pleasure or when others feel pleasure without it conflicting with what we want or like. Think about the idea of compersion before you assume you're there already. It means you don't have feelings of jealousy because compersion is in essence the opposite of jealousy. It embraces the idea that there is enough for all of us at all times and that by appreciating and supporting other's, including our enemies, in their happiness it opens us up to receiving the same.
We'll obviously have to talk more about compersion to make sure we all understand what it is and how to implement it in our lives. So let's review our video.
Today we enter a very important stage of our OVERCOMING JEALOUSY process. Over the next few days, after watching the video, we will receive insight regarding exactly HOW we can overcome jealousy in our lives. It's almost like the magic genie in which all will be revealed.
The answers are always right in front of us and the SEEING THE LIGHT stage of our process is the realization of this fact. The specific answer we're looking for at this stage in our processes is HOW we can overcome jealousy and insecurity in our lives? What specific strategy and steps can we follow that will lead us on a path to success? That's what SEEING THE LIGHT is all about. It's about SEEING a way to our own personal promised land and the achievement of our goals. How is that possible? It's possible through our CREATIVE minds. Our ability to come up with ideas and invent what we need when we need it. It's about taking advantage of the fact that after dropping old baggage and accumulating new beliefs in ourselves and new modes of functioning we are literally new people who see the world much differently than before AND that after the setting our goal and committing to it with intent focus on what we desired our subconscious has begun creating it for us. But our path to meeting our goals of overcoming jealousy is in such an infinitesimal state that it can't be seen with the naked eye and instead requires synthesis, which is the ability to combine seemingly unrelated objects into a whole - CREATIVITY.
I know that was a mouthful, but we can summarize it by saying that a path will be revealed and you should start seeing some concrete ways you can overcome jealousy in your life.
ASSIGNMENT #1. Ask yourself HOW you can overcome jealousy in your life and I mean literally ask yourself out loud? Then sit back and have faith that the answer will come to you. Stay on the lookout for clues and ideas and dreams and things people say and billboards and television and radio and magazines and everything because the clues may be presented through those channels. Write down EVERY idea that comes to you no matter how silly it may seem. On the last day of SEEING THE LIGHT you will take the ideas that you believe are the strongest of all the ones you've written down.
ASSIGNMENT #2. Practice having faith in yourself and in life in general. I want you know your relationships are going to work out or that job will work out or the children will be fine or you and your friends will pull it together or whatever. Having faith and optimism is an important tool in developing your creative ability.
Let's talk more about SEEING THE LIGHT in our video.
Starting today you're back in the driver's seat. You get to take action and reshape you're environment in your desired image. Exciting, I know. So, for Stage 6: CONTROLLING OUR DESTINY we will do just that. We will begin to shape our lives to fit what we want it to look like for us. We will begin to shape our relationships to reflect that we truly love unconditionally and incorporate compersion into all we do.
This means changing the structure of our lives and relationships. It means changing how we respond externally to other people's behavior and choices. Today we go on display and our actions are a direct reflection for what we believe about ourselves. We become the change that we want to see in our lives.
So here's what we need to do - you should have received some insights from Stage 5 of how you can overcome your jealousies and insecurities. ASSIGNMENT #1. I want you to apply those insights in Stage 6 and bring them to life right now. Do everything within your power to change your life to reflect where you want to be as opposed to where you were. Rearrange, recategorize anything and everything around you so that you can be successful. That includes the people in your life and your relationship to them and anything you have surrounding you.
You will also have to check that older part of yourself that wants things to be the way they were. That's the part of you that doesn't want to change because the status quo is more comfortable. This will be an ongoing battle throughout this stage and beyond, but remember, if you are consistent and sincere in your actions you will persevere.
Let's discuss more about CONTROLLING OUR DESTINY in our video.
It's time to PUSH THROUGH. it's time to break through! Stage 7 is where we throw caution to the wind and find our inner courage to live our best life. To challenge our jealous and insecure nature and put love first. To put ourselves first; meaning, our highest selves. Yes, it may feel weird or crazy to do that and yes you'd rather curse that person out or withdrawal into solitude or claim defeat, but why? What good will it do? It won't do any good. It will just continue a cycle of behavior that has gotten you down the same dead end road and we don't what that. We want some new experiences and some new outcomes and new results and new relationships and to be dealt a better hand from this thing called life. Well, now's the time to make it happen by controlling what we can control - US - and staring down the challenges before us. Let's do it now.
In stage 7 we bring out our inner warrior to do the things we may not have been courageous enough to do in the past; specifically, doing what we consider the right thing for us regardless of what others may think or say. Yep. Forget them. They are only a projection of your subconscious mind so you shouldn't fear living your truth or telling the truth or practicing love. Try to be happy for others and their successes and triumphs. Practice feeling good because it's your right to feel good and not just because something happened to go your way. That's what this stage is all about.
ASSIGNMENT #1. Face your fears. Practice telling the truth where you may not have done so in the past. When the waiter asks how the food was, say bland if it was bland and you feel you should get 15% off. Tell your husband you don't like when he uses your toothbrush or drinks off of your glass. Don't fake the orgasm. Don't pretend to be happy if you're not. Don't give the automatic response to folks, "Yeah, I'm good. How are you?" You know what your fears are and what your personal truth is so let's practice bringing that out.
ASSIGNMENT #2. Have the courage to practice compersion and love and appreciate others regardless of if their actions make you happy or not. Attempt to support others in their truth and happiness just like you want them to support your in your happiness.
I know, I know. WTH?! Let's watch our video to make sure we understand how to approach things in stage 7.
Welcome to Stage 8 of our OVERCOMING JEALOUSY journey. This is our final stage of our process and an important one. We've been working hard to go beyond our conditionings around fear and scarcity and the jealous and insecure feelings these conditionings manifest in our lives. I mean we really have done a lot of work here. Now it's time to make the final push. It's time to affirm our truth through speech and communication.
Stage 7 was about doing what was necessary to show and prove that we were beyond jealousy and capable and desirous to express love, forgiveness, and caring. Stage 8 is about speaking that love in the same intensity. If you're not jealous of your partner when they go out with their friends then tell them you love them and respect their individuality. Yes, actually, say it. If you are not jealous of your neighbor who got a new car or house then send them a gift card saying congratulations and wishing them the best. Let's see that smile come out. Let's see the kindness show through in all you do.
This is what AFFIRMING OUR TRUTH is all about. It's not about intellectualizing this concept and saying to yourself, "I'm not jealous." Or saying you don't feel a way about what they have or don't have, but about actually doing that act of compersion that actually affirms the idea of love you are affirming. And remember the power of speaking these words out loud in front of your peers and other people is where the real power comes in.
What we say and how we speak does more than communicate to those around us. It also helps us program ourselves and affirm who we are. You are what you speak. You are what you affirm, so let's make it happen. Take this opportunity between today and the last day of our process to strengthen the love and compassion and compersion within you.
Let's watch the video to gain more insight about our final stage.
****IMPORTANT: CONTINUE WITH THE WORK FROM STAGES 7 AND 8 GOING FORWARD UNTIL YOU FEEL SATISFACTION IN OVERCOMING JEALOUSY. ALSO, FEEL FREE TO REVISIT ANY OF THE PREVIOUS STAGES AS YOU SEE FIT.****
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