Sort Your Love Baggage

Making Way for Love!
3 reviews
  • Cija Black Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

    Cija Black is the author of Modern Love: The Grownup's Guide to Relationships & Online Dating. Cija is a Portland, Oregon writer, blogger for WinkWisely, LavaLife and Digital Romance, online educator and speaker devoted to empowering people in their own love lives. Her dating and relationship expertise comes from 20 years of in-the-trenches experience safely using personals both on and off line.

    Cija is dedicated to helping people sort their relationship baggage, find real love and take responsibility for their own happiness. She is committed to bringing clarity to situations that previously seemed like a massive tangle of misunderstanding and frustration.

    Cija Black is 42 years old and is a California girl at heart, but currently lives in Portland, Oregon with her two very vocal cats and amazing husband, who she met online.

    For more information about Cija Black and Modern Love the book, please visit You can also follow Modern Love on Twitter , Facebook , YouTube and Pinterest at : modernloveguide.

  • Lifetime access to 22 lectures
  • 5+ hours of high quality content

Sort Your Love Baggage

Making Way for Love!
3 reviews


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Learn and practice real-world skills and achieve your goals.


The Journey to Find Love May Not Be Simple, But It is Under Your Control.

If you're looking for love, start by dumping some baggage

If you have a past filled with heartache, disappointment and bad choices, I have a set of tools that will empower you to invite the love you want into your life.

Spot the "good ones" and steer clear of the energy drainers

I will help you sort your love baggage and create a path to closure, growth and a clear picture of what you want in your life. By the end of this class you will have a filter to help you spot the “good ones” and steer clear of the bad energy drainers.

Look back so you can move forward

All you have to do is take the first step and sign up for my new course Sorting Your Love Baggage on Udemy. You may want to just dive back into dating, but, if you are willing to take the time to sort through and toss some of that heavy, energy sucking love baggage, the path to love is going to be so much fun and rewarding.

This class is that big and that important

This is a online video class that you can do from home, at your own pace, and you can even ask me questions along the way. This is about you and what you want. But be warned, when you start cleaning out some of your past baggage you are going to want to share your epiphanies and insights with the world.

So what are you waiting for? Sign up for the class now and take charge of your love life!

About this Course

Sorting Your Love Baggage: Making Way for Love is based on the first section of my book Modern Love: The Grownup's Guide to Relationships & Online Dating. The class is designed to empower you to be in command of your heart and love life. By the end of the course you will have the tools to build a realistic picture of your ideal relationship and partner.

What to Expect

Each lesson contains a video, questions and corresponding page numbers from the book. You are also highly encouraged to ask questions during the course. 

The course also includes bonus materials such as: a downloadable version of my book Modern Love, access to two additional courses, short bonus videos and a special discount off the paperback version of my book.

Work Through the Material at Your Own Pace

The course will take as long as it takes, which means you should work through the material at your own pace. There may be things this course touches on and feelings that come up for you that will take more reflection than others so give yourself the time you need. To really absorb the material I recommend only doing one lesson a day, just to really let the ideas sink in.

I hope you will join me and claim the love that you deserve.

    • An open mind and a willing heart
    • A desire to consider new approaches to love and relatioships
    • Over 22 lectures and 5.5 hours of content!
    • Decide if you are ready to date
    • Clarify and master your assumptions & expectations about love & relationships
    • Define your perfect relationship & partner
    • Invite the right matches into your life
    • Identify the 5 types of people to NOT get involved with
    • Clarify your boundaries & deal breakers
    • Understand that in order to love another you need to love yourself first
    • Anyone that wants to take a proactive empowered approach to finding, keeping and nourishing love.
    • Anyone who finds themselves back in the dating pool after being away for many years.
    • For those that want to make real lasting changes to the way they approach love, relationships and happiness in their life.


30 day money back guarantee
Lifetime access
Available on Desktop, iOs and Android
Certificate of completion


  • SECTION 1:
    How this Course Works
  • 1
    How this Course Works
  • SECTION 2:
    How Ready Are You to Date?
  • 2
    To Date or Not to Date
    How ready are you to date?  Are you still angry, hurt or scared because of a past relationship?  This lesson includes some scenarios and feelings to consider to see if you could use some time to reflect and heal before dipping your toe into the dating pool.
  • 3
    Dating for the Right Reasons

    Now that you have determined you are ready to date, why do you want to date? We are bombarded with ideas from pop culture, friends and family that we should be paired up.  This lesson will help you make sure that you are dating for the right reason, because you want to.

  • SECTION 3:
    Relationship Archeology: Time To Get Your Hands Dirty
  • 4
    Looking Back to Move Forward
    To figure out what you want in a partner and relationship you first need to know where your assumptions & expectations for love came from. This lesson will help you begin the process of digging through you relationship archeology and getting you thinking about what you really want.
  • 5
    Pop Culture Fairy Tales

    Along with your early family dynamics, popular culture (movie, music, TV) have also had an impact on your concept of love and how it is "supposed" to be.  This lesson will ask you to take a walk down memory lane to see what popular culture has added to your expectations of love and fill in some more pieces to your love puzzle.

  • 6
    My Crap, Your Crap, Assumptions & Expectations

    Have you ever suddenly found yourself in the middle of an argument with your partner? One minute everything is fine, the next it's all out war. This is called “My Crap, Your Crap.  In this scenario either you or your partner said or did something that triggered a crossed boundary from the others past. 

    This lesson will help you identify the "crap" and find some healthier ways to work through issues when they arise with your current or future partner.

  • SECTION 4:
    Who & What Have You Been Allowing in Your Life?
  • 7
    5 Types to Not Date

    Do you find yourself in the same relationship just with different people? Are you drawn to the same “types” time and time again. This lesson will ask you to look at some unhealthy types and personality traits to see if you recognize them or maybe even see some of these traits in yourself. You will will why you may not want to steer clear of them in the future.

  • 8
    Boundaries: You Teach People How to Treat You

    You truly teach people how to treat you. Boundaries tell the people in our lives where we stand, what we value and what is important to us. This lesson explains the importance of boundaries and knowing when they are crossed and why you should maintain them for the health of your relationships.

  • 9
    The Most Important Questions You Will Ever Answer

    This lesson asks you to dig deeper, by asking you to answer a series of questions. Thinking about and answering these questions is going to give you some important insight into what makes your heart tick. Lecture 9 will help you learn from those questions.

  • 10
    Owning Your Baggage and Deciding What You Want
    Now that you’ve answered the questions from the previous lesson, where do you go from here?  This lesson will help you make sense of the raw material and love baggage you have unearthed so you can use it to create the kind of love and relationship you truly want.
  • SECTION 5:
    The Beginning of Something New
  • 11
    Ideals & Standards & Deal Breakers

    The previous lessons have asked you to strip away the baggage of your past. This lesson ask you to give even more focus towards where you want to go, and determine what you want to invite into your love life.

  • 12
    The External Stuff
    This lesson is about some of our outside traits; what we like to do, what we are passionate about and our appearance.  It's important to fuel the fire of your passions and likes.  It helps others to see your fire.  It's also important to feel good about your appearance and style.  This lesson will ask you to consider the outside and how it can boost your self confidence.
  • 13
    The End and The Beginning
    This final lesson summarizes what you have learned and also gives you some ideas of how to continue the journey of self discovery and finding love.  Be sure to download the attachment for future inspiration and fuel for the next phase of your love journey.
  • SECTION 6:
    Ebook: Modern Love - Section I Relationship Archeology
  • 14
    Ebook: Modern Love Section I - Relationship Archeology
    82 pages

    Modern Love Section I: Relationship Archeology contains the sections of the book that correspond with the lessons of this class.  Refer to the page numbers at the bottom of actual page, rather than the pdf page numbers at the top.

  • SECTION 7:
    Bonus Materials!
  • 15
    Ebook: Modern Love Section II - Getting Your Profile Online
    65 pages
    This is the second section of the book and focuses on online dating and teaches you how to apply the information for Section I (and this course) toward a search for an amazing partner. There are also many helpful ideas on how to stay safe while dating. Even though this section discusses online dating, the tools are valuable even if you decide not to date online.
  • 16
    Ebook: Modern Love Section III - Going on Dates and More
    36 pages

    This is Section III of the book and takes you  through the actual going out of on dates process.  There is great information about dating safety, breaking up if your just not feeling it and also setting the foundation for a healthy new love.

  • 17
    Discount Code for $10 off the Paperback copy of Modern Love
  • 18
    Bonus Course! Restart Your Love Life with a Heart Makeover
    This is an audio presentation that  was originally presented as part of a paid Body Positive Dating Master Class.
  • 19
    Bonus Course! You Can Find Real Love Online!

    Have you considered online dating but have been too afraid to try?  Maybe you've even tried it but you've had disappointing results. To meet quality partners, you have to put some work in ahead of time to clarify who you truly want and need in your life.  If you treat online dating as a tool to meet people, rather than software that will fix your love problems, you open up a world of possibilities and potential.

    This presentation will teach you:

    --Why it's important to put as much effort into finding a partner, as you do when buying a car
    --The importance of laying the groundwork for finding the partner and relationship that is right for you, before ever getting online
    --How to take your relationships goals and turn them into an online profile that gets positive results
    --To enjoy online flirting and flattery but to remember that the real goal is to step away from your computer and get out there on real live dates

    Throw away those assumptions and fears about online dating and take a chance. You can find real love online, you just need to know what you are looking for.  If you are willing to put in some work ahead of time, the rewards are great and your future love match will thank you for your efforts!
  • 20
    Modern Love Manifesto
    1 page
  • 21
    Love Bombs! - Don't Be Held Back by Your Size
  • 22
    Love Bombs! - Dating Safety


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  • Ms. M
    Excellent Course!

    Cija helps you dig down deep and discover what you seek in a mate and in a relationship. Then, she helps you work on yourself as you prepare for online dating. I highly recommend this course to anyone struggling with dating and relationships--online or off! Ms. M The Female-Centric Relationship Coach™ and Founder of Contemporary Cuckoldry™ "Stop wasting time with the fantasy and start building your own reality." -- Ms. M (

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  • Certificate of Completion