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Personal Development Leadership Communication Skills

The Power of Deep Listening (Using Active Listening Skills)

Improve Your Relationships, Influence, and Leadership by Using Active Listening Skills at Home and Work
Bestseller
Rating: 4.7 out of 54.7 (350 ratings)
1,411 students
Created by Roger Kay Allen, Ph.D.
Last updated 9/2020
English
English [Auto]
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee

What you'll learn

  • How to use active listening skills to get below the surface and hear what others are really saying
  • How to use listening skills to be accessible, attuned, and responsive to others
  • Recognition of your listening habits that close down communication
  • Using active listening to make it safe for others to share their deeper thoughts, feelings and needs
  • How to help others tap into their deeper wisdom and motivation
  • To be present and aware of conversation dynamics
  • How to create understanding, trust and deeper connections with others through active listening skills

Requirements

  • A desire to improve your relationships with others by using active listening skills
  • A willingness to have more empathy and be better attuned to others

Description

Listening is thought of as a soft skill. Perhaps the softest of the soft skills. What’s the big deal we might ask? We listen every day. It’s something we learned to do as children and it comes naturally. And yet, I’m going to suggest that it is not that easy.

There is a lot going on during communication. The speaker has to put into words not just information but often complex perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and intent.

Then a listener has to decode this message through a filter of their own biases, attitudes, beliefs, feelings, motives, and life experiences. And to make it all the more complex, experts tell us that words make up only about 11% of the message in face to face communication. Tone of voice is about 35% of the message and body language as well as other contextual cues make up about 55%. There is simply a lot going on which can make listening so challenging.

The Importance of Active Listening Skills

I define active listening as suspending judgment and being fully present with another person to understand his or her experience or point of view. Deep listening involves hearing more than the words of the speaker but taps into the deeper meaning, unspoken needs, and feelings conveyed. It is something that is done with the heart as well as the mind.

As you use active listening, you create a climate of respect based on non-judgment and receptivity that allows others to express themselves fully. You make it safe for them to express not only surface opinions but also their deeper feelings and needs as well as inner experience and wisdom. Using active listening skills is how you:

· Establish deeper connections

· Build trust, rapport, and goodwill

· Bridge understanding and foster unity of vision and purpose

· Acquire vital information that makes you better at decision-making and problem-solving

· Overcome friction and conflict

· Promote learning, growth, and even healing

· Unleash motivation

· Empower others to take responsibility so they can do or be their best

Have you ever spoken to someone who was fully engaged and interested? Who made you feel you were the only person in the world at that moment?

That is the power of using active listening skills. It begins with recognizing that everyone with whom you interact wants to heard and understood. It is your willingness to offer them this gift.

The ability to listen is the heart and essence of every healthy relationship. The best and most trusted leaders, bosses, co-workers, spouses/partners, parents, helping professionals, friends, customer service reps, grocery clerks, etc. know how to listen. There are few more valuable gifts you can give the people in your life than that of a willingness and ability to listen deeply by using active listening skills.

Most of us are not good listeners

Unfortunately, most of us are not good listeners.

We tend to:

· Get distracted by random thoughts or what’s going on around us

· Interpret what others say through our own filters (biases, feelings, motives, experiences)

· Tune out because we think we already know what someone is going to say

· Think that what others have to say isn’t important

· Focus on formulating our response rather than hearing them out

· Quickly judge (agree or disagree) rather than opening ourselves to another’s point of view

· Wait impatiently for someone to finish so we can talk

· Shut down messages we don’t want to hear

· Hear the words only and not the deeper needs or meaning conveyed

· Take over the conversation by our comments and questions

· Offer solutions and “quick fixes” rather than guiding others to their own wisdom and experience

· Try to make others feel better rather than letting them own and work through their experience

What you will get out of the course

By going through this course on active listening, you’ll come away understanding the value and power of listening. More importantly, you’ll come away knowing how to listen deeply and, thereby, build much more powerful relationships and become much more effective in influencing others and empowering them for success.

I’m genuinely excited about this program because I know the power of active listening skills. I can tell you that the relationships I value most are those in which someone has listened and really heard me. It is these relationships that have not only helped me feel validated and affirmed but given me the desire and courage to improve myself or go forward to accomplish important things.

By going through this program you’ll learn the most important influencing skill in the world. That key is not being able to explain yourself more eloquently or forcefully, but rather being able to actively listen to others in a way that unleashes understanding and goodwill.

Course Format

Section One: In this section, I talk about the importance of active listening skills, give you an idea of where we’re headed, what you can expect, and how we’re going to get there. I’ll also offer some tips to help you get the most out of the course. And, finally, I’m giving you a survey to assess your listening skills. You can use this to identify learning objectives and measure your progress.

Section two is making the case for using good active listening skills. Good listeners are good listeners in all aspects of their lives. I want to take a few minutes to demonstrate the value on the job as well as at home and in your personal life. I’m going to share a number of stories or case studies that demonstrate the importance and power of active listening.

Section three is about our natural tendencies when listening to others, our poor responses. I present an exercise and case-study in which we look at common ways people respond, even when our intentions are good and we want to help and support people. This section is becoming aware of what we do that is not helpful. We have to recognize old patterns that are not helpful before we’re ready to learn new, healthier responses.

Section four is about “Getting to Bedrock.” It’s made up almost entirely of examples of good active listening vs. poor listening so you can see what happens when we listen well. Active listening opens up communication in such a way that we’re able to go deeper so we can deal with real issues.

Section five is about how to develop active listening skills. We’ll look at barriers to effective listening and the importance of our assumptions in the listening process. I’ll introduce the steps of listening and give you more examples as well as some exercises and application to practice what you’re learning.

Section six is moving from active listening to problem-solving. Although I consider listening to be a foundation skill, perhaps the most important skill we can learn to improve our relationships, it is not the only skill. I put active listening in context to show you when and how to transition to other skills, particularly once you’ve done a good job of listening. In particular, I focus on a skill I call valuing which is helping people solve their own problems without taking over for them.

Finally, is the conclusion in which I summarize the program, what you have learned and offer parting thoughts. You’ll also have a chance to take the survey again and see how much you’ve improved in your active listening skills.

I’m confident you will improve and, as you do so, people will notice and appreciate the way in which you can be there for them and support them in solving their problems and also achieving their visions, what they’re most excited about in life.

Who this course is for:

  • Leaders and managers
  • Parents
  • Spouses
  • Educators
  • Coaches
  • Medical and helping professionals
  • Friends and co-workers
  • Business owners
  • Sales people
  • Anyone who's success depends on working well with others

Featured review

Holly A. Kline
Holly A. Kline
105 courses
41 reviews
Rating: 5.0 out of 510 months ago
The instructor is very informative, interesting and he gives you reasons up front why you need to take this course and the benefits of why it is important. I urge others to really consider taking this course, as it is full of tips about why the skill of listening is so important and how to improve your own listening skills to improve the relationships around you.

Course content

7 sections • 46 lectures • 3h 55m total length

  • Preview07:12
  • Preview03:04
  • Tips to Get the Most Out of The Course
    06:09
  • Pre-Course Active Listening Survey
    00:52

  • Preview03:20
  • The Story of Mitchell-The Difference Listening Skills Can Make
    07:05
  • The Son Who Doesn't Want to Ride the Bus-A Father Uses Active Listening
    06:46
  • Exercise: Observing Conversations
    00:31
  • The Scope of Good Active Listening
    03:22
  • Preview05:55
  • Active Listening in Marriage or With Your Partner
    07:16
  • Exercise: Observing Yourself
    00:21
  • Check Your Understanding 1
    4 questions

  • Group Exercise in Listening
    15:56
  • Preview09:49
  • Active Listening as Someone is Going Through Grief
    03:03
  • Case Study of Joni--No One Uses Listening Skills
    08:53
  • Exercise: Over-riding Your Natural, Poor Listening Responses
    00:31
  • Exercise: Understanding Your Support Network
    00:36

  • I Don't Like the Idea of Teams--Poor Listening
    02:50
  • Exercise: I Don't Like the Idea of Teams
    00:16
  • I Don't Like the Idea of Teams Do-Over Using Active Listening Skills
    05:09
  • Jenny Wants to Give Up Soccer
    03:37
  • Mom Uses Active Listening
    07:47
  • Bedrock-Making it Safe By Using Listening Skills
    05:19
  • You Don't Have to Get to Bedrock
    03:53
  • Check Your Understanding 2
    3 questions

  • Preview06:25
  • The Goals of Listening
    06:01
  • The Active Listening Skill
    11:29
  • Exercise: Practicing Active Listening
    00:51
  • Exercise: Turning Evaluative into Non-Evaluative Responses
    00:11
  • Examples of Active Listening Responses
    06:28
  • Exercise: Hearing the Meaning
    00:22
  • Case Study: Son Left Out of Rodeo
    03:14
  • Case Study: Staff Retreat
    02:51
  • Active Listening in a Group
    08:21
  • Is it Always Necessary to Use Listening Skills?
    07:23

  • From Listening to Problem-Solving
    08:09
  • The Valuing Process
    07:20
  • Trish and Her Girlfriends
    06:09
  • Valuing with Your Spouse or Partner
    10:02
  • Valuing with Joni--an Example from Business
    10:30
  • Using Valuing Frequently
    04:24
  • Check Your Understanding 3
    4 questions

  • One Last Example of Good, Active Listening
    04:17
  • Summary and Conclusion of The Power of Active Listening Skills
    10:37
  • Post-Course Active Listening Survey
    00:22
  • Bonus Lecture
    00:40

Instructor

Roger Kay Allen, Ph.D.
Author, psychologist, management consultant, executive coach
Roger Kay Allen, Ph.D.
  • 4.5 Instructor Rating
  • 3,687 Reviews
  • 32,463 Students
  • 6 Courses

Roger Kay Allen, PhD, is an expert in human development and leadership. In 1992 Dr. Allen co-founded the Center for Organizational Design and has worked with many Fortune 500 companies (AT&T Capital, Merck Pharmaceuticals, Honeywell, Proctor & Gamble, Hewlett Packard) as well as small and medium size businesses to help leaders define their vision, improve their leadership, develop their teams, and create high performance work cultures in which each employee is a contributing partner in the business. Dr. Allen has certified over 1200 trainers and consultants from around the world to use his 70+ leadership and team development modules.

Prior to consulting, Roger co-founded and served as President of the Human Development Institute (1981-1990) in which he provided thousands of hours of individual, marriage and family counseling to a diverse client population. In addition to coordinating the work of other professionals, he created and taught programs in personal/family development which have been taught dozens of times in several cities around the country. His programs in both leadership and personal/family development has been acclaimed as among the most influential learning experiences available anywhere.

"Literally thousands of professionals are exposed each year to Roger Allen’s material and the ripple effect has changed people's lives, made work easy, faster and better. Almost weekly I get rave reviews on his material. I cannot say enough about this man and his writings. I have purchased cases of his books and material to share with others." Jim Ullery, President, Center for Organizational Energy

"In my career as a specialist providing treatment to adolescents and their families, I have seen many parenting theories, models and books but nothing which rises to the stature of this work by Dr. Allen." Michael E. Berrett, Ph.D., Psychologist, nationally known clinical teacher, and CEO of Center for Change


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