Stress Management - Advanced - Part 1

Conscious Connected Breathing (CCB) is always the first tool in Stress Management. Why? Because you carry it with you everywhere. (If you do not have your breath with you right now how in the world are you reading this???)

What few know is that - although you breathe anyway - by deliberatelychanging your breathing pattern in a certain way you can change how you see and feel the world. You can change how things impact you...like a ton of bricks or like a light breeze. Now THAT is worth learning and practicing, right?

The oval symbol is a trigger reminding you to breathe in a way that benefits you anywhere and everywhere.

If you need convincing...here are the many benefits of Conscious Connected Breathing.

• Did you know that we were programmed from birth to breathe in a circular fashion? And for some reason, cats also breathe in a constant unbroken circle...even while sleeping! Watch and see.

• The reason we stop breathing in a circle in our childhood? Stress! Holding breath is an attempt (and a not very successful one) to become numb, to leave the body, to avoid feeling.

Practicing Conscious Connected Breathing so it works for you, not against you. To put it simply, CCB helps you make peace with a stressor so you do not have to suppress it. The less you suppress the less unfinished business you pile up. It is MUCH easier to make peace with something now than later. By the way, "making peace with it" does not mean you agree with it...it just means you did your best and are now letting it go.

• Record what you experienced during this session in your all important Stress Management Journal. By the way, every time you do CCB you can have different experiences. Any experience is not without meaning, so write it down to help you see what it might signify. Remember: You are learning something you can use forever, but you are also overcoming conditioning to hold your breath or to breathe shallowly...so by practicing and taking notes you will get better and better. AND you will be helped more and more.

A three second announcement.

Here begins an exploration of how this whole stress thing works. It is imperative you understand it because it either works for you or against you. You can change when it works against you and make it work even better for you.

The Stress Cycle helps you become more aware so you a) notice, and b) can apply a skiil or tool to "hotspots" - meaning sudden attacks by stressors. What are stressors? Oh, you will find out soon enough.

Here are some insights that will spring you from the resistance trap caused by ignorance. You may still drop into 'resistance' but you will snap out of it faster with the Tools & Skills in this course.

We all resist a stressor at first, even stress management warriors! The question is how widespread is the resistance and what tools and skills do you have to move past resistance?

We have all been 'exhausted'. If you play sports you have been exhausted. If you have worked manual labor you have been exhausted. If you have raised children you have been exhausted. If you have started your own business you have been exhausted. This is not about that kind of exhausted although those things could have brought you to this point of 'exhaustion' in the stress cycle. Here we are talking about staying in a state of resistance so long that you cannot keep it up any longer. For example, if you were told to hold your arm straight out and keep it there, eventually the muscles in your arms are too exhausted to hold your arm up any longer.

But when 'exhaustion' happens in the stress cycle we are talking the kind with serious consequences...like body or body function damage. This means one step closer to permanent damage or death.

You will now be able to speak with intelligence when discussing stress and the difference between stressors and distress.

Ahhh, now you see dynamically how stress and stressors are related. The stressor initiates the stress in you. Not all possible stressors do - some you do not even notice. We are selective based on our past recordings, the situation and how we deal with those certain ones. We can also be unaware (ignorance) that something is stressing us while it is (or numbness through habit or bad habits such as alcohol or marijuana or painkillers)..

Key information on the three portals of stressors that are always activated by any stressor that affects you. You may not notice one or more or, in many cases, ANY of the three, but they are all there and are reacting whether you know it or not.

You may notice stress in your body - headaches, backaches, etc.

You may notice stress in your mind - worry, anxiety, panic, obsession

You may notice stress in your emotions - angry, sad, afraid

But the truth is: Any stress registers in all three areas - body, mind and emotions - whether you know it or not.

AND you probably are unaware of it most of the time...but don't feel too bad - most don't either. Now for the good news: You will from now on!

AND, it is the PEM connection that is good news and bad news: Good news because if one alerts you it makes you aware of the other two. The bad news...well not so bad...but you have to resolve physical impacts physically, emotional impacts emotionally and mental impacts mentally. In other words if a stressor causes you to react to it mentally you will not be able to resolve it emotionally. You have to handle it mentally. This is okay for you but when - say - a couple has a disagreement over a stressor in their lives, one partner is mentally and the other emotionally affected they will not communicate about it well or be able to resolve it easily unless they are AWARE of this and can accommodate the other partner and honor where they are coming from.

You are going to become familiar with MANY types of stressors!

There are many ways to adjust to a stressor that has put us into a state of resistance. We can resist, accommodate, adjust, ignore, assimilate, or go numb.

Know why some people react differently to the same stressor.

Although something may be a stressor to two people, it can have a different impact due to "tastes" in stressors. What pleases me, may irritate you. Both are results from a stressor.

Introducing the Dallmann-Jones Stress Test. This test will tell you a lot about yourself.

Introduction to the Dallmann-Jones Stress Test - more formally so.

There are a myriad of answers as to why one should take a stress test. What is your reason for taking a stress test? Well, it could be you want to know what is going on inside you a bit. Perhaps you also know that an accurate diagnosis is worth its weight in gold - especially if you wish to do something about it.

Know how to take theD-J Stress Test.

Here you will take the test by writing down your scores as you go or by printing out the handout and doing it on paper. Feel free to print out the D-J Stress Test and give it to others. Compare your numbers and talk about it!

No one likes to be sick...well, healthy people don't. See the number cutoffs as compared with your number and see what sort of health future you have.

You have dramatic proof you need to make some new choices, better choices. Please do not hesitate.

You may be surprised what category of people give you the most stress. After you know you will say, "Of course! I knew that!" But that is how used to it we get. Time to get aware!

Have you guessed who or what that category may be?

Three Steps to take for confronting your main stressors. [Confront means to simply tell the truth as you see it.]

What IS distress? How important is it to clearly define? Let's just say that KNOW YOUR ENEMY is just as important in Stress Management as it is in war. Perhaps this IS a war...a war against ignorance about stress, about having Tools & Skills to meet your enemy and level the battlefield. Sometimes we are known as Stress Warriors - other times adjustments are as delicate as a snowflake falling...subtle.

A succinct list of types and kinds of distress impacting your body if stress is not handled well.

A succinct list of types and kinds of distress impacting your emotions if stress is not handled well.

A succinct list of types and kinds of distress impacting your mind if stress is not handled well.

Sometimes distress forces behavioral changes...mostly harmful one. Here is a list of some. Can you name others from your or a loved one's life?

A Review of distress impacts and encouragement to journal to prevent distress from having lasting effects.

An Introduction to an area in stress management that is a critical hot spot we all must be aware of...but did you know it had twelve stages?

Burnout has a beginning - middle steps - and an end. The end is not pleasant...close to death as one wants to be. It is critical to remember this: Burnout usually does not stop itself...it is a wheel without interference from gravity and friction unless - UNLESS - you stop it. Therefore it is imperative you understand it.

First Stage of Burnout - Compulsion - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously or you will not know when you are burning out until too late.

State Two Stage of Burnout - Intensity - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses.

Stage Three of Burnout - Subtle Deprivations - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Four of Burnout - Dismissing Conflict - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Five of Burnout - Distortion of Values - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Six of Burnout - Heightened Denial - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Seven of Burnout - Disengagement - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Eight of Burnout - Obvious Behavior Changes - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Nine of Burnout - Depersonalization - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Ten of Burnout - Emptiness - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Eleven of Burnout - Depression - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Stage Twelve of Burnout - Total Crash - Although there are 12 stages each stage is a potential diagnostic assessment AND has a take action suggestion. Please take this seriously and know this stage so that you can halt the destructive progression and treat yourself for burning out before it progresses. [View video for specifics of this stage.]

Learn about a commonly misunderstood term and a word often misused in certain contexts...basically in the concept or human emotion known as "love".

You can choose how much you wish to know and then do this. 33 is highly recommended, of course, but only you know what you are ready for. Trust your instinct.

A good (and pertinent) question to ask is, 'Why bother with learning about this?' Evidence will be seen as to why this is so heartily recommended.

Detachment is not what you think it is, but from now on you will definitely know.

Holding expectations is fraught with dangers and entangling outcomes that quickly become often too complex to undo.

This lesson provides practical insights into expectation through good and bad examples.

Absorb quickly the differences between good and bad examples of detachment.

The relationship between love and detachment will very likely surprise you.

The Right Knowledge here is the wisdom of 'Doing the next best thing.'

Bad examples of the the concept of 'next best thing' in order to make perfectly clear the difference.

It is helpful to see good examples of 'doing the next best thing'.

Learn the extremely valuable skill of how to detach!

Sometimes the answer is not at one end of the continuum or the other end. Sometimes it is about leaving the continuum!

Sometimes you just need a good helicopter to solve an entangling bit of attachment. It is often the healthiest choice - especially if you are enabling someone. Enabling means you are - regardless of intention - actually encouraging and/or supporting an unhealthy practice or habit in someone.

An important review of the two pieces of Right Knowledge in this section.

Underlining the importance of journaling about detachment.