
You'll learn about why this course is important as well as the major objectives and how we'll proceed.
I want you to get as much out of the course as possible and, to that end, I'm offering you tips to increase your learning and the value of the program.
I'm presenting a story or case study to help you understand the importance of managing your emotions in the middle of conflict.
We'll look at your key moments or situations and events in which you get emotionally triggered by what someone else is saying or doing. These are moments in which you feel threatened or vulnerable or upset in some way and learning to be aware and regulate them is a key to managing conflict.
In this lecture, I introduce you to the Empowerment Model. I use the model in two ways, first, to Understand what is happening during a key moment. And second, to help you regulate your thoughts and feelings so you can respond well to these challenges.
I'm giving you a real-life example of a key moment and how you can apply the empowerment model to choose positive and strengthening rather than harmful responses. You'll come away understanding not just the model but how to apply it to your life.
A moment of choice is a moment of awareness and personal power when you interrupt an old pattern and make a new and better choice during a key moment. It is a moment of personal power because you are aware of your negative thoughts and feelings and yet refuse to act them out.
I teach you how to utilize three key concepts, awareness, responsibility and intent, to make better choices when in a key moment. The greater your awareness, the more you’re willing to accept personal responsibility and the more you shift your intent from a desire to protect to a desire to grow, the more likely you’ll make different choices and overcome your key moments.
One global strategy in emotional self-regulation is mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and noticing your experience with compassion and without judgment. I offer you many ways of practicing mindfulness throughout your day.
In this lecture, I'm offering you a number of strategies in emotional self-regulation, things you can do to alter your thoughts, feelings and behavior in the middle of a key moment. Some of these strategies are altering your behavior, others your feelings, others your pattern of thinking. The idea is to learn what works for you. All of them are designed to interrupt a negative reaction and help you come from a calmer and more empowered place.
I want to focus on the emotion of anger because it is a troublesome and even misunderstood and mishandled emotion for lots of people. I offer you insights into the nature of anger and provide a four-step process for working through anger.
As you know from previous lessons, thoughts are the primary creator of our feelings, behavior and, ultimately, results. By examining and challenging your thoughts or the meaning you give to events and circumstances, you empower yourself to feel and respond differently to your key moments.
I'm teaching you a process called Stop-Look-Listen-Choose that integrates everything we’ve talked about in this program into a single, easy to remember technique for handling your key moments. I'll also share a personal example of using the technique in my life.
Learning to overcome your key moments is a process. Think of it as a long-game and not something you’ll do perfectly or even well just because you’ve learned the concept. In this lesson, I use an analogy from baseball in which you can think of a key moment as an at-bat.
We are at the end of the program and so I offer you a recap of the core concepts from the course and ways you can use them to manage you emotions in healthy and strengthening ways. Thanks for joining me in this program. I've been honored to have you as a student.
Thanks for being my student. And let me share a few other resources I can offer you as you continue your journey of growing yourself and improving your relationships.
Hi my friend and a big welcome to this course on mastering your emotions during conflict.
Conflict is Inevitable
I want to begin by saying that conflict is an inevitable part of life. We know this. We come from different backgrounds, have distinct personalities, needs, values, perspectives, roles, goals and priorities, all of which set us up to experience disagreements if not outright conflict. So, the question is not whether or not we’ll experience conflict in our homes, communities or jobs. The question is how we’ll handle it.
What Determines How We Manage Conflict?
And here’s the premise of this course. The biggest factor that determines how well we handle conflict are our own emotional reactions. Conflict, by its very nature, triggers our emotions. Sometimes big emotions. Once triggered, it’s easy to act in ways that make things worse rather than better.
Some people, in the middle of conflict, go into an aggressive and fight mode, others run emotionally and resort to silence or appeasement, and still others distract and avoid. These tendencies are common and yet make conflict worse in the long run.
Purpose of the Course
So the purpose of this course is to give you the awareness and tools to calm and empower yourself so you can respond to conflict and difficult situations in positive and healthy ways. Let me be clear that my purpose in this course is not to teach you the steps of conflict resolution. I do that in my best-selling course entitled Become a Master at Conflict Management at Home or Work. Instead, I’m giving you strategies to manage your emotions so that you’re able to respond rather than react to those triggering situations. As you use these strategies, you've won the most important battle. You are now coming from a calm and empowered place and can enter into conversations in a way that allows you to talk things through or get to resolution.
Take Aways:
By going through the course, you can expect to:
Know how to calm yourself and regulate your emotions during conflict
Challenge harmful distortions in your thinking that cause you to escalate during conflict
Gain greater understanding and control of your emotions
Learn an "empowerment model" to understand how to change your thoughts, feelings, and actions during conflict
Prevent conflicts from escalating
Learn a four-step process of dealing with anger
Grow in awareness and emotional intelligence
Respond to conflicts from a quiet and empowered place inside
Improve your relationships at home or on the job
Practical Tools
I want to mention that the course includes lots of extras in the form of handouts and worksheets as well as exercises to deepen your learning and make it more real. I’m giving you all of the course handouts in a single PDF that you can download, if you like, at the start of the class.
I’m also making the course available as an audio file which you can also access with this lesson. By downloading it you can listen to the course on the go, instead of being on your device or computer.
Who Am I?
My name is Roger K. Allen. I’m a psychologist, author, executive coach and business consultant with many years of helping people build positive and healthy relationships. I’ve helped hundreds of couples, business partners, executives, department managers and employees work through difficult conflicts to create healthy and harmonious relationships. And I’ve taught many of these methods to other trainers and consultants throughout the world. In fact, I’ve certified over 1500 independent consultants from around the world to use leadership, personal and team development programs I’ve created.
I'm pleased to say that most of my courses are highly rated and best sellers in their respective categories on Udemy. That's because I have many years of professional experience and I care about quality and thoroughly research to understand a topic before I create a course. Plus, I really care about you, my students. I want you to have the best experience possible as you go through my courses.
Won't you join me in learning how to build stronger and better relationships? Enroll now.