From Stress to Strength: Developing Core Resilience Skills

RESILIENCE - DEFINITION OF RESILIENCE

Resilience is the process of adapting in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stress. Resilience is the ability to “bounce back” from these difficult experiences and adapt to the unpredictability of life.

However, a person can have their own definition of resilience that is relative to their own lives.

• A person could practice resilience when faced with a serious illness in themselves or a close family member.

• A sales person must be resilient in the face of rejection from a customer and keep on trying to get the next sale.

• A company employee must be resilient when under stress to meet a deadline in their job.

• A customer service professional must practice resilience when dealing with a difficult customer who is holding them responsible for their grievance with the company.

• Imagine how a doctor must practice resilience in dealing with a child who has been seriously injured or is terminally ill.

Learn more in this section.

BOUNDARIES AND SAYING “NO”

‘Saying no is commonly and incorrectly associated with being selfish or callous.’

Have you ever felt obligated to take on more than you should? Felt like someone’s taken advantage of you? Or said “yes” to something you don’t have time for or don’t want to do, then found yourself overwhelmed when things got too stressful? If you answered yes to any of these, it might be a good idea to take a look at your boundaries and how to set them.

Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves to facilitate reasonable, safe, and healthy ways of interacting with others. They help us better manage how, when, where, and on what we spend our time and energy. Instead of being a prison, the right boundaries help us to derive much more meaning, productivity, and fulfilment from those things and people we do spend time on. But, for many of us, the idea of politely declining is an unsettling one.

If setting and respecting your own boundaries is new to you, trying it can feel a little unnatural at first. These techniques may help you learn how and when to say no.

Learn more in this section.

Short-lived feelings of stress are a regular part of daily life. When these feelings become chronic, or long lasting, they can severely impact a person’s health. In this section we look at what chronic stress is, how to identify it, and the medical consequences it can have. We also describe ways to manage stress, including medical treatments, and when to see a doctor.

Signs of chronic stress can include a range of red flags such as headaches, fatigue, and low self-esteem. Stress is a biological response to demanding situations. It causes the body to release hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones help prepare the body to take action, for example by increasing the heart and breathing rates. When this occurs, a doctor might describe a person as being in a state of heightened alertness or anxiety.

Many factors can trigger a stress response, including dangerous situations and psychological pressures, such as work deadlines, exams and sporting events. The physical effects of stress usually do not last long. However, some people find themselves in a nearly constant state of heightened alertness. This is chronic stress.

Learn more in this section.

RESILIENCE - SELF IMAGE

Self-image is how you perceive yourself. It is a number of self-impressions that have built up over time. These self-images can be very positive, giving a person confidence in their thoughts and actions, or negative, making a person doubtful of their capabilities and ideas. Therefore its not just what you see in the mirror. It is how you picture yourself in your head that is your self-image.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF-IMAGE AND SELF-ESTEEM?

Learn more in this section.

RESILIENCE - RESPONSIBILITY

To the resilient person taking personal responsibility for the things in their own lives is an important character trait. By taking responsibility or ‘owning’ problems, a person can feel that they are actually in control of their lives and not just victims of circumstances. Obviously, not everything is under our control. But, for the resilient person, taking responsibility for what we can control gives us the power to own our decisions and their consequences.

Learn more in this section.

RESILIENCE - GOALS

Goal setting is a process that promotes vision and purpose. Through setting goals we prioritise what is important, clearly establish what we would like to achieve and identify the benefits we expect to experience. We then plan and demonstrate purposeful actions aligned with achieving the goal. Finally, we establish accountability measures to ensure our progress is tracked and celebrated. Resilient people have well established goals in place but understand that life is uncertain and plans very rarely run smoothly.

There are always unexpected pitfalls. However, having your “eyes on the prize” and focusing on the goal and not the struggle to get there is an important element of resilience.

Learn more in this section.

RESILIENCE - OPTIMISM (THE POWER OF POSITIVE EXPECTATION)

Optimism is the personality trait exhibited by resilient people who tend to expect that good things will happen in the future. The opposite of optimism is pessimism, which is expecting bad things will happen. Scientific evidence suggests that being optimistic contributes to good mental health and wellbeing is some significant ways, for example:

• By reducing the sense of helplessness that tends to set in when people feel out of control. Optimism helps to motivate people to take constructive action they otherwise would not bother with when in a pessimistic state.

• By believing that bad situations can improve, optimism motivates people to change those bad situations and address life problems early on before they spiral out of control. Optimistic people end up (on average) having to solve fewer difficult life problems than do pessimistic people

• Optimistic people have the ability to develop friendships and supportive relationships because it motivates people to think that other people will like them. Having friends and social support networks helps reduce people's risk of mental health issues.

Learn more in this section.

ADAPTABILITY (STATE MANAGEMENT)

The definition of Adaptability is the ability to change or be changed to fit changing circumstances. Becoming more adaptable improves the ability of an individual, team or organisation to adjust or change itself to best meet the needs of the situation or environment. Therefore, if change occurs, an adaptable person or team will adjust and find how best to perform in the new situation as opposed to being stuck in old behaviours.

Studies have shown that people with higher levels of emotional resilience are significantly more likely to be able to adapt to new and changing situations. Also, that people who are more adaptable tend to feel more satisfied in their career and family life. Being adaptable is a key tool in the resilience toolkit.

Learn more in this section.

COWS & BUFFALOS

When a storm approaches, cows and buffalos react in opposite ways. Cows will start moving away from the approaching storm (actually traveling in the same direction as the storm). Buffalo, however, will move toward the storm, rather than away from it. Consequently, by running into the storm, the buffalo experience the pain of the storm sooner because they charge at it.

The duration of the storm, however, is less because they keep moving through it. Contrast that to the cows, which hope to run away from the storm. The storm inevitably catches them and they experience its painful forces for a longer duration because they are traveling in the same direction.

Learn more in this section.