PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT : Growing From Within !

Understanding and working on the Physical or Physiological Aspects of Personality :

1. A good personality is more than just a good face

1. The importance of Body Language : Expressions, Movement, Gestures, Eye-contact, Touch, Distance etc.

1. The importance of proper Speech

1. The Dress

1. Physical Habits to avoid

The things that help keep the body healthy, functional and attractive :

• Daily exercise

• Right Eating

• Adequate Sleep

• Enough Sunlight

• Proper Hygiene

• Breathing - slow and deep.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING INWARDLY CALM EVEN WHEN OUTWARDLY BUSY :

• We saw first that Self-awareness is the key to transforming personality. Unless we stay calm, we lose Self-awareness.

• That means being busy outside, but peaceful within.

• Outwardly, we must act, we must do our role-play, and even work hard.

• But if we are not calm inside, all our work becomes tension.

• And if we remain calm but do not do our role-play, we become lazy and indolent, we become escapists.

• So, strike a balance. Learn to be, as a Master said, "Calmly Active & Actively Calm".

THERE IS NOTHING ABSOLUTE IN THIS WORLD ; IT IS MADE OF RELATIVITY (DUALITY OR CONTRAST). TO EVERYTHING IN THE CREATED UNIVERSE, THERE IS AN OPPOSITE. WE EXPERIENCE THE THINGS ONLY AS WE CHOOSE TO SEE THEM.

• No personality can be good and attractive, without right behavior or conduct.

• Our behavior is a product of our attitude. When success comes, we should not become arrogant ; when failure comes, we should not get depressed.

• Where do attitudes come from ? They come from our values and perceptions.

• Anything of value to us in life is a value.

• Integrity from which honesty comes, empathy which is born of awareness of connectivity of all life, service which is active expression of this awareness, forgiveness which comes from mindfulness of our own faults, etc. are all values.

• Our life is shaped not by what happens to us or how others treat us, but by how we respond to them, and that is a choice. A matter of attitude.

• By responding positively to even adverse events, we can generate positive outcome.

WE ALL LIKE PEOPLE WHO CARRY THEMSELVES WITH GRACE AND A COOL SELF-CONFIDENCE. YOU CAN LEARN TO DO THE SAME BY UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS THE MAIN FACTOR BEHIND CONFIDENCE WITHOUT WHICH EVEN GREAT SKILLS AND KNOWLEDGE OF ANY SUBJECT ARE NOT ENOUGH.

• Self-confidence comes from Self-esteem.

• Self-esteem is awareness of Self-worth.

• Everyone is unique, every soul is blessed. So everyone has Self-worth.

• But not everyone is aware of it. Those who are aware, have Self-esteem which gives them their Self-confidence.

• You may have great skills, great knowledge, but if you are not confident, you don't go far in life.

• Know your natural talents, develop them into useful skills. Keep striving, don't just dream ; practice everyday until it becomes your strength. Work on your challenges one by one, never give up !

THE WORLD IS COMPLEX, LIFE CAN AT TIMES BE CRAZY. THERE MAY BE CONFLICTS OF DIFFERENT KINDS AND THINGS MAY START GETTING STRESSFUL. BY RAISING YOUR COPING SKILLS, YOU CAN NOT ONLY MANAGE YOUR STRESS, BUT ALSO DEVELOP GOOD RELATIONSHIPS - PERSONALLY & PROFESSIONALLY.

• The Bottom Line first : If you can first get along with yourself, you can a lot more easily get along with others.

• We often have conflicts outside, because we have unresolved conflicts within.

• These conflicts can be of various kinds : role-role, role-goal or goal-goal conflicts.

• Stress mainly comes not from what happens to us, but how we take it, as we saw under the lecture on right attitudes.

• In conflicts, we should be Assertive - not Aggressive, Submissive or Dismissive.

• Ego conflicts are of the worst kind. Avoid them.

• We must discuss not argue ; we must find out WHAT is right thing to do, rather than WHO is right.

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AS A SOUL, YOU HAVE REASONS TO BE CEASELESSLY MOTIVATED. IN THIS LECTURE, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT ALL MOTIVATION IS ACTUALLY SELF-MOTIVATION AND THAT IT IS A CHOICE REGARDLESS OF OUTER CIRCUMSTANCES.

• The highway to all-round success is not a smooth journey ; if it were, it would not be worth it.
• Eventually, all motivation is Self-motivation. Others can inspire you, but you must finally choose to motivate yourself.
• The proverb : You can take a horse to the well, you cannot make it drink but once the horse is aware of its thirst, it drinks.
• When failure comes, don't think you failed. You can't, because as a soul you are perfect. It is your effort, your strategy, your approach that failed ; change these and you will get different outcomes.
• With right attitudes, even failure can be a source of motivation.
• All successful people have had their share of challenges, tests and trials. Many have seen great failures of their repeated attempts. But they did not give up. You lose only when you give up.
• When you become aware of your soul's great potential, when you have noble dreams of shared success and good values and attitudes, when you feel fired with an unstoppable zeal, when you refuse to give up despite hurdles - that's a kind of true Self-motivation that brings the desired result.

SUCCESS IS OFTEN A MATTER OF CONCENTRATION, THE POWER TO HOLD ONE'S ATTENTION ON ONE OBJECT CONSISTENTLY. TO DEVELOP THIS POWER, WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MANAGE OUTER AND INNER DISTRACTIONS.

• All great people who had remarkable success in their respective fields, were all people of great concentration.

• Defining concentration as One-pointedness, the ability to hold one's attention for a given time.

• Example of sunlight, paper and the magnifying glass.

• Mind has great power if it can be focused.

• Understanding and removing outer and inner distractions.

• Mind as a drunken monkey when uncontrolled.

• Help from regular Yoga-meditation practice.

SUCCESS IN WORK IS AS IMPORTANT AS SUCCESS IN PERSONAL LIFE. WE ALL NEED MONEY AND WE NEED A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT THROUGH USEFUL WORK.

• An apparent spirituality that does not enthuse you to work with interest and focus, to do your best at everything including your work, is not true spirituality.

• Work may mean working for others under an employment, or working for yourself in a profession or business of your own. But the ground rules for success are the same.

• A positive personality with a smiling face helps in both these domains by helping you to find the right job and keeping it (employers want people who have right skills + right attitudes), building productive and harmonious relationships and creating excellence through the powers of self-motivation, confidence, concentration, right attitudes etc. that we talked about earlier.

• Keep good company and learn from them ; know their friends and expand your circle. Stay networked.

• Serve the customer, whether in a job or self-employed, with keen interest and sincerity.

• Stay ethical in your work or profession.

YOU CAN'T NOURISH A TREE BY WATERING ITS FLOWERS, FRUITS OR LEAVES NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THEM. YOU CAN'T BUILD AN EFFECTIVE PERSONALITY FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT NURTURING THE SPIRITUAL ROOTS OF YOUR EXISTENCE. HUMANS ARE ESSENTIALLY SPIRITUAL BEINGS, SEEKING HUMAN EXPERIENCES - RATHER THAN THE OTHER WAY ROUND !

• To nourish a tree, water its roots.
• To nurture your personality in a sustainable way, nourish your spiritual roots.
• Remember : Body / mind / personality / work etc. are all that you HAVE, but SOUL you ARE.
• Everything that you have improves if you anchor it in what you are.
• Daily meditation, love, compassion, forgiveness, and other things that we mentioned earlier like calmness, right attitudes, etc. are what nourish your spiritual roots.
• Develop your character, be simple and unassuming. Your personality will automatically become attractive and powerful.
• The Brain Wave theory confirms that we need Alpha Waves for 30 mts. everyday to remain balanced and in charge of ourselves. Meditation ensures this and much more if you are regular and scientific.

LET US NOW PUT TOGETHER ALL THAT WE HAVE LEARNED SO FAR. SELF-CONFIDENCE, POSITIVE ATTITUDES, SELF-MOTIVATION, CHARACTER, CALMNESS, WELLNESS, CONCENTRATION ETC. - THESE ARE ALL INTER-CONNECTED AND TOGETHER MAKE A WHOLESOME, BALANCED PERSONALITY.

• You are a soul - changelessly good, blessed and powerful. Personality is the dress or mask that you wear for some time until you choose to change it.

• Your personality is what you have made yourself, you have a choice but you may not often be aware of it. It is the sum total of your physical, mental-and-emotional, and spiritual characteristics.

• Our personality forms through certain thoughts, values, perceptions, attitudes and lifestyle habits that we built in the past. By changing these inputs, we can get a different output : a different personality. This transformation can be by scientific yet holistic, step-by-step method.

• At the body level, ensure proper Posture, Dress, Speech, Movement, etc.

• At the Mental & Emotional level, have positive and constructive Thoughts, Values, Perceptions and Attitudes. Understand and manage the Emotions of yourself and others while dealing with people (Emotional Intelligence or EQ). But remember emotions are not your highest faculty ; above emotions are Reason and Wisdom.

• A good, positive, calm yet active personality helps in work / earning too, whether we work for others or ourselves.

• But the founding fact is nourishing our spiritual roots.

• Magnetism is inner peace plus outer dynamism in action.