Overcoming Stress And Anxiety

What is journaling?

A journal is a written record of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and observations. You can write in your journal daily, or only when you feel the urge. Journaling is then the act of keeping, writing, reflecting and making personal change through the art of keeping a journal.

In terms of self-help, there are few things quite so effective at changing your life as journaling. Writing is incredibly healing. The very act of writing releases tension and allows your subconscious thoughts to flow. Then upon reflection, you begin to see sense, patterns, ways through your problems and onto to solutions, ideas and inspiration.

Combining journaling and reflective writing will change your perspective and your life. You will start to get incredible insights, and if you choose, you can make some significant changes based on what you learn.

In fact, journaling, fo me is an important habit that enables me to build a whole host of other positive habits around it almost entirely by themselves.

Think of how a decluttering habit leads to a cleaner and tidier surroundings at home, eventually affecting your workspace. The decluttering habit may then move into non-tangible areas of your life, such as your relationships.

That's because a core habit is found at the centre of other patterns. In the decluttering example, the core concept is to remove things from your life; you no longer need or no longer give you joy. This will force you to examine the objects you have in your life.

As you get used to this mindset, you start noticing other areas of life where you're holding onto things you no longer need, and that doesn't give you joy. This very naturally leads to things like the 'decluttering' of relationships, or the sudden desire for a shift in career.

Now think of journaling as a core habit. What is at the heart of journaling which makes it so significant? The heart of journaling is not only the ability to express yourself but the need and desire to.

Journaling forces you to examine and understand the world around you. At the same time, it places you within the world, inviting you to see and understand your role in things.

This constant examination and re-examination of yourself is a powerful thing with far-reaching consequences.

A journal is a written record of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and observations. You can write in your journal daily, or only when you feel the urge. Journaling is then the act of keeping, writing, reflecting and making personal change through the art of keeping a journal.

Writing in a journal is such a fantastic and cathartic way of getting lots of stuff out in private. We are sometimes plagued with thoughts and emotions we don't understand, nor do we want to tell anyone about, so getting it out on paper is perfect.

Action: Buy yourself a beautiful journal and pen. It will make scribbling in it much more enjoyable.

The Awareness cycle

There is no right or wrong way to look at any of this. You may find yourself moving from awareness to awake to acceptance and then back to awareness several times, or you may go from awareness and go straight to action. Everything depends on where you find yourself and how the moment takes you. Even not doing is a state of moving because your body is still moving, you are still breathing and all around the world continues to move. What we want is

Aware

Using the power of stillness, journaling, writing, breathwork and meditation to connect to your unconscious mind and divine inner wisdom you will learn about what your inner wisdom wants you to know and be able to hear what your body wants you to tell you. This is partly looking at the past as an encyclopedia, and then moving into and staying in the now.

Awake

This is about waking up to the journey so far, to be able to peel back the layers to reach the heart of who you are and be connected to the whispers of your soul and asking how did I get here?

Acceptance

Acceptance is an active process that demonstrates courage and inner strength. Acceptance is accepting the fact that something happened that you cannot change. You cannot reverse time, you cannot change things that have occurred in the past, all you can do is accept that it did happen and see what you could learn from it. Forgiveness is not acceptance, it is, however, part of the process to wholeness. Letting go is where you should end up at the end of the forgiveness process.

Adapt

Adapt means willing to change. It's being ready to uncover what stands in your way, believing in the magic of creating personal change and getting out of your way to get what you want.

Alignment

Being in alignment means, living by your values, embodying self-love, discovering your happy to be me factor and living with inner peace and contentment.

Attention

Where you put your focus and attention that is where your energy flows. Where you focus your awareness, plays a key role in what you're creating and manifesting in your life.

Abundance

Abundance comes when you have balanced everything in your life, as best as you can. When you know what you want and why.

Action

Taking action is an essential life skill. Every day we decide to be, do or have and to get where we are going, we need to take just one step. When you are in alignment with who you want to be and what you want, it is easier to take the next aligned step.

Simply notice where you are and know that this is a process - trust the process.

Your safe space

This is a wonderful exercise to ensure that if something becomes too much for you - you can go to your safe space.

Describe what a safe space looks and feels like. Go there in your imagination. If you are not visual - see, sense, know or feel it into place.

It's better if it is a neutral space and not someones home where you may have memories - no matter how wonderful they are.

Self-Care Assessment Sheet

Taking care of yourself better is not only important to you but also to everyone around you. When you aren’t practising self-care every day, you probably not as healthy as you could be. This means you aren’t at your best and you aren’t able to help others much.

To help you optimize and/or increase your self-care fill in each section of this self-care assessment sheet to give you an idea of what you need to work on, to feel better yourself and to be there for others.

For each of the following, rate how well you rate on each item. Use the number-system with 1 being poor and 5 being the best. Write your score in the line by the item. Then total up the numbers in each section and put it on the total scoreline by the section title.

Use this to raise your awareness. What do you learn?

At the end of the course is a self-care journal for you to carry on noticing what is going on for you

My mood for the day

Use emojis to describe your day. Start your journaling practice by adding these to the start of each days page. You'll soon see how your mood changes as the day progress.

You could make this into a mood chart at the front of your journal.

Be your best friend

A best friend is an intensely intimate relationship. Especially the one that you have with yourself.

Once you become your best friend, you will learn to treat yourself with the respect and love you deserve.

You will also learn to have a real relationship with yourself and not depend on others for love and attention.

You will remove people from your life who have toxic behaviours.

You will make your self-care and needs a priority.

As you make a best friend out of yourself, it will become clear that nothing outside you should affect your happiness.

Being a best friend helps you create a strong foundation for how you want to live your life and what and who you want around you.

It’s a wonderful feeling freeing yourself from the expectations of others.

Bottom line, put your needs first (where possible).

Stress

Most people experience both stress and anxiety at some point in their lives. The impact you feel will depend on the level you experience either and the choices you make to alleviate them. They may seem similar, but there are differences. And for both, it is important that you determine which it is, when you experience them and the effect on your life. When you have a greater sense of awareness, that is when you can decide what to do. You may be able to use a course like this to support you, or you may need additional support. It takes courage to ask for help, but it is one of the things I highly recommend.

In general terms stress is a response to a trigger – an external cause, such as missing a deadline, getting to an appointment late, arguing with a friend, not finishing all of the things on your to-do list and other similar things. Here's a list of things that may come up for you when you think of stressful things:

· Tension at work

· Worry about health

· Not getting it 'right'

· Not enough hours in the day

· Problems with boss/co-workers

· Lack of funds to cover basic needs

· Demands from children

· Being overcommitted

· Lack of energy

· Needing to be in two places at once

The good news is that stress usually passes once the stressful situation passes or the stressor is removed.

Some stress can help to keep some people motivated, think of when you have a deadline and jump into action, only to feel exhausted when you have completed the task.

Stress can, in some situations, also keep you safe. When you feel threatened, real or perceived, you can feel stressed or anxious. When you take action, that is your way of protecting yourself and feeling safe again. We are hardwired for movement (fight or flight). Think back to caveman days, and here comes a big hairy, scary animal, what are you going to do? Probably run as fast as you can.

Think about something normal like jumping out of the way of a bus. Ok, not exactly a tiger, but it's a trigger that probably stressed you and caused you to take some action. You got a fright, and you took flight, and now you are safe. I'm also guessing that your heart raced, and your breathing changed. This kind of action is fast, a reflex and is about keeping you safe.

Thinking or mithering about it later is not helpful. Though it might be useful to remember to not walk in front of a bus again. By thinking of it repeatedly later, you are reminding your body that you are still in danger and stress hormones will continue to be released. This is only one example of being stressed.

A to-do list may be easier to deal with, you do it, the stress goes away, and you feel better.

But what happens when you feel that you have no control over what is going on? You might drink, eat, binge on Netflix and pick fights with loved ones.

Before we head into anxiety, it's worth remembering that a certain amount of stress helps us adapt to our environment; however, too much triggers a chronic stress response, which is damaging. Prolonged stress becomes anxiety.

A point to remember and think about before we continue is that if we can learn to be stressed and anxious, we can unlearn it.

Journal it: Over the last two weeks, which of these have cropped up for you:

· Missed deadline

· Getting to an appointment late

· Arguing with a friend or loved one

· Not finishing all of the things on your to-do list

· Tension at work

· Worry about health

· Not getting it 'right'

· Not enough hours in the day

· Problems with boss/co-workers

· Lack of funds to cover basic needs

· Demands from children

· Being overcommitted

· Lack of energy

· Needing to be in two places at once

What have been the triggers? What did you do? How quickly did the feelings go away?

This exercise is designed to simply raise your awareness of short term stressful things.

Let's meet anxiety

Anxiety goes much deeper than stress and is more internalised. It may not have an obvious cause or trigger. Anxiety is typically characterized by a persistent feeling of apprehension or dread. Unlike stress, anxiety, persists and niggles. While many people feel anxious from time to time, it's when the anxious feelings don't go away, seem to happen without any particular reason or make it hard to cope with daily life it may be the sign of an anxiety condition.

Becoming aware. Just for a moment stop and ask yourself what the last two weeks have been like. We will do more with this with our anxiety record later.

Journal it: Over the last two weeks, have you – score 1 for every yes:

• A heightened fear of what people think of you

• Afraid of being trapped in a place with no exits

• Always feeling angry and lack of patience

• Binge eating, emotional eating or eating rubbish for the sake of it

• Binging on Netflix or Facebook

• Constant feeling of being overwhelmed

• Depression

• Dramatic mood swings (emotional flipping)

• Easily annoyed or irritable

• Emotionally blunted, flat, or numb

• Emotions feel wrong

• Everything is scary, frightening

• Feel like crying for no apparent reason

• Feeling down in the dumps

• Feeling like something awful is going to happen

• Feeling like things are unreal or dreamlike

• Felt nervous or on edge

• Frequently being on edge or 'grouchy'

• Have no feelings about things you used to

• Not able to sleep, frequently waking up and other sleep disturbances

• Not feeling like yourself, detached from loved ones, emotionally numb

• Restless and can't sit still, but don't know what to do with yourself

• Trouble relaxing

• Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear

• Worrying about many things

• You feel like you are under pressure all the time

What else would you add to this list?

Add up your score. If you have more than 4, you probably have some level of anxiety.

Journal it: What do you learn about yourself?

Anxiety creeps up

Anxiety is one of those things that can just creep up on you, before you know it you are experiencing both mental symptoms such as sleepless nights, exhaustion, excessive worry, lack of focus, and irritability. And physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate, muscle tension, and headaches.

When you start feeling like this, it can be difficult to know what to do. Should you seek professional help or practice somethings like journaling and meditation? The way that I gauge is to ask how long this has been going on? Is it a short term stress reaction, or is it a longer-term set of symptoms that are debilitating me? Anxiety is triggered by stress and tends to be long term.

Often you will not realise that you are suffering from anxiety, because you will think it's just stress. When you start something like journaling, you will be able to see just how long things have been going on and that too can be a shock.

It can be hard to make sense of both stress and anxiety. It's natural to experience stress from time to time. However, if what is going on is persistent, then it's time to acknowledge that you need to do something about it.

I've noticed among my friends that we can find events like these stressful:

• Being in an unpredictable new situation

• Break-up of a relationship

• Experiencing the death of somebody close

• Financial or work problem

• Experiences from early childhood resurfacing

• House sale falling through

• Physical health problems (I suffered, for example, a fractured spine)

The good news is that once we had got through the worse, life seemed to go back to normal. Anxiety stays with us.

Journal it: What have you noticed creeping up on you?

Recap the difference between stress and anxiety

Stress:

• You know what is causing the feelings (e.g. there is a trigger)

• The situation makes most people feel stressed (e.g. not getting your to-do's done)

• It does not change your normal behaviour (e.g. you do not isolate yourself)

• It stops when the situation is over

Anxiety:

• You do not always know why you feel anxious

• Other people in the same situation probably wouldn't feel very anxious

• You act differently to avoid feeling anxious

• The anxiety stays with you, even after the stress is gone

Now we have a level of awareness and with any luck a willingness to remain awake to what is going on. Right now, acceptance is a great place to be. I am reminded of this when things feel like they are getting out of control.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

From here, we can learn to adapt, move into alignment, continue to pay attention, remind ourselves what an abundant anxious free life is like and take consistent, aligned action.

Journal it: Read the prayer and reflect on what comes up for you

What do stress and anxiety do to the body? - The cells

Let's step back for a moment and consider our internal environment. The smallest part of us is a cell, although inside the cell are some even smaller parts. That one cell is the most critical aspect for all of this. In his book The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton talks about how our thoughts affect our cells. If we are living in a perpetually stressed place, imagine what kind of thoughts are being passed to your cells. They will respond in the best way that they know how to.

Inside of each of these cells, which are listening in all the time is an old set of programs called unexpressed emotions. Every stressful or anxious moment and corresponding thought hangs around doing damage, and we don't even realise it. Think of a computer which is constantly under attack from viruses and other unwanted gremlins. I see my journal as an anti-virus program. Where the past grunge can be gouged out and a pathway to understanding ourselves carved in their place. Words are powerful. As we let go of these unexpressed emotions and realise who we are, why those fractals – repeating patterns of how our lives became so fractured our cells start to respond in kind. There is more to it than that, but stress and emotions are a great place to begin to understand how your body responds to life.

Imagine losing these attachments, becoming aware of why you do what you do and creating new beautiful pathways that will serve you more effectively. I wonder what unconscious resistance you have to letting these go?

Journal it: What resistance do you have to letting go of anything? Put on a timer for ten minutes, write the word resistance and let your words flow

What do stress and anxiety do to the body? -The memory

The memory is quite a remarkable thing, which encodes, stores and enables retrieval of our experiences. You may well wonder where and how all of that stuff gets stored, why you can easily remember some things and not others. In simple terms information goes in, we encode it in such a way that makes sense to us, which is why no two people remember the same event in the same way. It also means that no two people with experience trauma the same way or react to it in the same way. Similar experiences do not mean similar programs. We have stuff in short-term memory, the things we are currently actively thinking about and longer-term, which is the stuff that is parked out of the way for now.

Your memory is a pattern of stored connections. When we want to retrieve a memory, we are taken along a series of pathways (neural pathways), a bit like following a set of directions to an address, where the experience is retrieved and brought into view. That's the conscious view; the unconscious view is a labyrinth of things that have not been expressed but leaps out to bite us on our poor little bums when we least expect it.

If you are journaling, then you can capture your experiences, and this will help you to track the trails. Later, when you reflect, you will be able to make sense. We like to make sense of things, don't we?

Start to think of your mind as a museum, with lots of galleries, some of the old masters, some highlighting different periods or themes, some more abstract and some just fragments of times long ago.

As we get older, we seem to forget more things, which is according to the scientists is all part of natural ageing. But not feeding our brain with the necessary nutrients and not allowing our brain to process and recharge during sleep can create memory loss on a par with ageing, even in your thirties and forties. All the more reason to journal to get the grey matter moving, eat well, stay hydrated, be mindful, be balanced, live in harmony and living our lives on purpose, in love and light.

Coding our experiences and emotions

Stop for a moment and breathe in your environment. What do you notice? In every moment we consume information through our environment. These are laid down in your mind map using your language and coding structure waiting to be fertilised, waiting to be joined by that one critical connector, which creates the spark and drives it to the forefront of your mind. Your body is continually working with these experiences and emotions. Some will have escaped while others lie trapped looking for an exit route. When there isn't a way out toxins will accumulate.

How is the body destroyed?

Stress and anxiety = unexpressed emotions about experiences

Emotions and physical pains are natural responses to life. Keeping them stuffed inside is not natural. When we feel unloved, unsafe and unworthy, it affects the way that we live our life. Toxic emotions steal our light and love. Living in a body where all of this baggage has been kept under lock and key will stunt your growth and ability to live a full and rich life. It creates dis-ease, and it also affects the immune system.

Stress and the immune system

Things like insomnia, headaches, migraines, gut problems, aching joints, and feeling tired are all the result of unexpressed emotions which have festered. As time passes the immune system can grow weaker until all kinds of illnesses, issues, dis-eases, dis-orders present themselves. And then you will know about it. What about you, how do you think your lifestyle is affecting your immune system?

Environment

Our external environment affects all of us. What goes on around us has far-reaching repercussions for what goes on inside. Each of our trillions of cells, like us, are affected by the environment we create for them. Our environment controls us and the environment we create internally controls our cells, which in turn control us. We hold a very powerful key to tapping into our inner wisdom and changing our environment so that we can get rid of toxins, heal and create a healing code that is unique to us.

Cells read the environment, make an assessment and then behave according to what is required. Cells gather together in communities called tissues and organs, and these live harmoniously in these communities until their environment is damaged. Humans likewise create families and communities which contribute to a harmonious or otherwise environment.

How you choose to live, work and play and your values around your external environment will go a long way to giving you your life back. As will eating good nutritious food, drinking excellent water properly, taking exercise, being with people that support and love us and reducing stressful activities will go a long way to supporting a better life.

Journal it: Stop for a (another) moment and think about the things that might be triggering an unhealthy response in your life right now. Pay attention to things in your environment that have become the norm – these are the things that are etched in your memory. Put on a timer and write for ten minutes

Acid and alkalising experiences

Your unexpressed emotions and experiences can be classified into acid or alkalizing. Consider that in science, you have a PH (potential hydrogen) scale. Now think of your PH scale as a personal harmony scale, with acid on one side and alkaline on the other.

The numbers on your PH scale range from 1-14. Neutral and has a pH of 7.0. Anything below 7.0 is acidic, and anything above 7.0 is alkaline.

Acid experiences are unpleasant, they burn and sting at one end and towards the middle of the scale are mildly irritating. Alkaline experiences are healthier (journaling, walking, meditating, colouring mandalas or having a massage) and are used to neutralise an acidic experience. What we want is to live and experience life from a balanced perspective. This will come with time.

Journaling and your PH balance of experiences

As part of raising your awareness, consider all of the stressful or anxious experiences that you have recently had. What came up for you? Did they feel acid or alkalising?

• Draw up a balance sheet of great times and not so great times

• On one side add your acid experiences and the other alkalising

• Assign each experience a number from the PH scale (from 1-14)

• Which do you have more of?

• Which experiences are linked (if any) and which have balanced each other out?

• What do you learn about you from this?

Becoming a detective is super helpful. You will notice when something comes up and when something relieves it. You will notice when you feel it, where you feel it, and later you will learn tools like using the breath and journaling to become more curious when things happen.

How do you know when you are stressed and/or anxious?

When you look at your balance sheet, were you surprised with what you found? Find a colour that means acid to you and mark up your acid experiences. Then link them together. Are there triggers or a constant trail of feelings and body responses? What insights do you get?

Next, stop, breathe and take a look at yourself and feel into your body – we will do more of this later. Are you stressed or feeling anxious? How do you know if you are or if you are not? Are there any recurring themes or acid experiences?

Sometimes we become totally 'stressed out' and not aware of our rising stress levels as if we've tuned out to the repeated knocking. Or you may be fully aware but paralysed and blocked from taking action due to fear. Not all individuals respond to stressors in the same way. Your personality and past experience all dictate how you deal with things and your reactions. In other words, susceptibility to stress or anxiety related dis-ease varies among individuals. Some people are particularly vulnerable to stressful situations or events, while others may be highly productive under pressure (short term). It's the longer-term things that generally cause more issues.

Journal it: Take a few minutes to consider what you discover, explore and reflect in your journal. Then ask what conscious decisions will you make to changes in your life? You may not be able to action them, but a list is a great place to start. Consider:

• How has this week been for you?

• What stands out?

• Does your eating become erratic when you are stressed or anxious?

• Do you drink more alcohol to cope?

• Do you forget to drink water and instead reached for dehydrating teas or sugary sodas?

• Is there a pattern or is one emerging?

• Were there any triggers?

• How did you behave?

• What is being revealed to you?

What are thoughts?

Thoughts are your ideas, opinions, and beliefs about yourself and the world around you. They enable you to form your values and behaviours, which lead to habits. They colour your point of view and the perspective that you hold. In simple terms, thoughts are shaped by life experiences, and what you see, feel and hear.

Thoughts influence your reality. What you think influences directly how you feel and how you behave. So if you think you're a failure, you'll feel like a failure. Then, you'll act like a failure, which reinforces your belief that you must be a failure. When you feel like a failure, you will often perpetuate the actions that lead to physical symptoms, such as anxiety or perhaps it will manifest in a dis-ease.

Once you have drawn a conclusion about yourself, you're likely to do two things; look for evidence that reinforces your belief and discount anything that runs contrary to your belief. Let's go back to the failure idea. If you develop the belief that you are a failure, for example, you will view each mistake as proof that you are not good enough. When you do succeed at something, you will chalk it up to luck. Thus toxic patterns are formed. E.g. Something unpleasant is going to happen when…

Anxiety comes up when we think that something bad is going to happen. Imagine if you are invited to a networking event, and while you want to go, your mind starts to race. You may think things like, what if no one talks to me or isn't interested in what I have to say. You'll start to believe that it's not worth the hassle of going.

Noticing your thoughts

The first step is becoming aware of your unhelpful thoughts. It may sound simple, and it can take practice. Most of us do not even notice these thoughts.

Unhelpful thoughts that give us anxiety often start with what if? From there you may blow things out of proportion which is known as catastrophising. As you get used to journaling and noticing, you will become aware that you are doing this. What is a useful activity is to look at what is going on from many perspectives. Think of a situation where you have felt anxious and ask:-

● Is there any proof to back up this thought?

● Have I thought about all sides of the situation? What have I missed?

● Have I been in this position before? What happened then?

● What are the chances that the thought will come true?

● Even if the worst does happen, can I do anything about it?

Journal it: Ask the situation questions, notice what comes up as you write and when you reflect – ask what you learn?

Thought Report

Try the thought report when you want some clarity and perspective about something that is coming up or something that has happened. For example, you may have shared your vision with a partner, who perhaps you felt rubbished it, which triggered a reaction in you. Your vision statement is something you are going to share with others, and now you don't want for fear that they may too ridicule you. Take this trigger which has pushed your buttons and create a thought report. You may notice that this makes you feel stressed or reminds you of ongoing anxiety around low self-worth or something else.

You have a choice in how to react to situations. If you know your buttons are being pushed, check your reaction immediately, examine your thoughts, consider your body talk, focus on your breathing, and make a choice to do something differently. You will be learning lots of tools to help you with this.

Flipping the switch from self-defeating thought patterns and feelings to those that serve you better can take time, practice, and patience.

Triggers are products of some past event. Remember that the situation is not happening now. It also happened for you and not to you. It's something to learn from. Try to trace back to the first time that this trigger occurred, how many similar events can you remember? You can do this by closing your eyes and letting your mind wander or scribbling a timeline in your journal. The key is to just notice and not to get into the memory. We call these up simply as a guide and to gain awareness of our patterns.

Journal it: Ask these questions:

• What happened just before the event?

• What did you see, hear, feel, smell, or taste?

• Stand back from the drama, what do you notice?

• What other occasions has triggered this behaviour?

• What can you identify as the root cause?

• What would you advise yourself to do differently?

• How could you change the picture into a positive experience?

• What advice would you give yourself?

• How will you take responsibility for changing your responses?

• What will you now do differently?

Emotions

One of the most delightful or sometimes not things about being human is the way in which we experience emotions. This is another one of those vast areas where many brains have joined together to tell us how many we have, what they mean, how to deal with them and how they shape our reality. It's fascinating stuff.

Emotions can feel complicated. Some might feel intense, while others seem mild in comparison. You might feel conflicting emotions at any given time. But emotions can serve a purpose, even when they're negative. Instead of trying to change the emotions you experience, consider how you react to them. It's usually the reactions that create challenges, not the emotions themselves.

How we might experience an emotion will be different to someone else. I may feel sad, and it will mean one thing to me based on my experience and understanding of sadness, and to someone else, it will mean something entirely different.

What I know is that emotions and physical pains are natural responses to life. Keeping them stuffed inside is not natural. When we feel unloved, unsafe and unworthy, it affects the way that we love and shine our light. Toxic emotions steal our light and love. Living in a body where all of this baggage has been kept under lock and key will stunt your growth and ability to live a full and rich life. This also affects the immune system.

While there are many words to describe emotions, how we each experience them, and the intensity is unique to each of us. Take a look at this list. When you look at them, what do you feel about each? What words would you add? Is there a level of intensity? For example, when you look at anger, does it mean rage, annoyed or miffed?

Journal it: Create a list of emotion words that mean something to you. Next to each describe what that word means to you. Include a situation where that emotion might arise. Pay special attention to the emotions that arise when you feel anxious.

As you go about your day, notice what emotions come up for you and rate them in terms of intensity 0 = normal/ok or 5 extremely intense and causes you concern. You may want to create a grid in your journal and keep a note over the next 7 days.

This noticing creates awareness, and when you become aware, you can choose what you do with your new learning.

Unexpressed emotions

We have previously mention unexpressed emotions. When you are not listening to yourself, acknowledging your thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviours, and managing your energy, your body, has many blunt ways of communicating with you. It starts off whispering and when you don't listen, clobbers you quite violently.

Unexpressed emotions are the emotions that you stuff down. They come up, you react and behave in a certain way. E.g. something triggers your anxiety which makes you angry, and you explode. But at no time do you follow the roots of when this behaviour first started and grew within you, and to understand how it became a part of you. What you do is continue to allow the triggers or constant underlying anxiousness to get you.

What you are doing is briefly expressing them, but not fully understanding and expressing them in a healthy way. You may acknowledge that you have just had an emotional outburst, you may write about it, but again you stuff it down. Which causes blocks in your body.

Unexpressed emotions are also energy blocks that can stand in the way of your healing. Our bodies hold emotions in information centres called chakras (we will have a brief meeting with chakras later). By working with these, you can start to release the energy held here and move forward and claim your inner peace.

Noticing emotions exercise

Pick an unexpressed emotion you want to work with. For a moment, follow the flow of the emotions through your body, notice where you feel it. Is it in your tummy, neck, jaw, shoulders, heart – where? Is it static, or does it flow? Does the emotion change as you explore it? We will explore this more later.

Journal it: Bring to mind an event, linked with anxiety where you think that you are holding onto unexpressed emotions. Take a moment to travel through your body, ask good conscious questions and place your hands on the area where you feel it to gain a sense of what your body wants to reveal to you. Write down everything that comes up. You may find it useful to turn on the voice recorder on your phone and speak out loud what comes up first.

Next, it is deciding what you can do with the information that you receive. Explore what you have learned.

Intensity

The words you use will have an effect on your emotions and the intensity of them. Imagine this. You awoke this morning to find that the dog had been sick on your bed, the rabbit had chewed through the cable of your electric clock, and you are already late for work. The shower is cold, your clothes un-ironed, the milk is off, the traffic is heavy. Phew, do you feel mad, enraged or just slightly annoyed after all its just an off day. How anxious do you feel on a scale of 1-10? The intensity of the words that you use trains the conscious and subconscious mind to believe those words and trigger a pattern of behaviours. Think about these:

• Fear – fearful to terrified

• Anger – miffed to rage

• Sadness - gloominess to grief

• Joy – content to outrageously happy

• Surprise - uncertainty to amazement

What words do you use to describe your emotional intensity and what new words could you use?

My anger arose early in life because I was constantly told to shut up in one form or another. I lived in a conflicted home, where anger and arguments were the norms. I hated it, and my response was to be unruly and wild. The response to that was to try and stop me doing what I wanted to do, and so it continued.

I then developed a habit of when I perceived that someone told me what to do; I would get anxious thoughts and become enraged. Often keeping it in until I went over the top. I stopped myself feeling or saying anything about it, and then my patience would run out, and I would explode. Then I would mither over it and stay in a state of anxiety. I have done a lot of work on this and through writing discovered the roots.

Writing in my journal and reframing the stories helped me after the event. What helped me at the point of being triggered was the finger anchor. The finger anchor helps you to reframe words to lower their intensity. E.g. Rage, anger, annoyed and then miffed.

Think about perhaps some anxious thoughts you are having what words could you use for the following anchor?

Anxious – stressed – worried – at ease

For your toolkit - The anchor

I trained myself to notice that old feeling arise and immediately used my fingers to reframe in the moment. It took a while, and then what happened was that when I felt something happen, my finger activity made me smile.

This count down is like being mindful in the moment – it is a tool like the breath to bring you back to a place of relative peace. It is not suppressing the emotion it is changing its intensity to change your state and operate rationally again.

In addition to the countdown, you can also put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and do box breathing – in for 4, hold for 4 and out for 4.

Check-in - Notice what happens during the day

• Set a timer to check in with you

• Make a note of your emotions as you go through the day

• What do they evoke in you?

• How do you behave?

• Is there a better way?

• What do you feel?

• What are your words?

• What is your level of intensity?

• What happens when…?

• What do you do?

• What do you say?

• Patterns, habits, beliefs, perceptions?

Journal it: Part one - Check in on your emotional intensity

· Fear – fearful to terrified

· Anger – miffed to rage

· Sadness - gloominess to grief

· Joy – content to outrageously happy

· Surprise - uncertainty to amazement

· Anxious – stressed – worried – at ease

· Create an anchor with your fingers to lessen the intensity

Part two – what do you learn from your check-in

Managing your emotions

First, you need to understand why this emotion, the triggers and what is happening in your body. Then working to manage your emotions so that you can manage other peoples emotions in response to you. There is a saying that the person who has the most flexibility controls the room – meaning that if you can manage your emotions, you can hopefully diffuse what is going on around you.

You are not at the mercy of your emotions, although you can sometimes you can lose control. Not controlling your emotions can cause you to send the wrong message to others and people who trust you may start to lose faith in you

Remember that managing or controlling your emotions doesn't mean stuffing them down, or ignoring them. It means 'managing' the emotions to ensure that you make good choices.

Reframe your emotions

Reframe your thoughts and your emotions – you can do this! Turn your can't to feeling that you can. Think about a picture you have on your wall. What would it look like in a different frame on another wall? Reframing is about taking something that you hold in your mind and framing it in another way. That might be seeing a problem as an opportunity or a perceived weakness as a strength, or a can't be as a can. In the context of healing, it is reframing the issue so that you see it as healed or in a new way. This reframing creates new neural pathways, and so they become how you think and feel normally.

Why reframe your emotions?

• Because being mindful of what you are really feeling can help you identify possible reasons why

• You can shift your negative thinking from I am sad to I am feeling sad… because feeling is different from owning.

• With this deeper understanding of your emotions, you can begin to shift and re-frame your thinking or move through emotions naturally

Reframing

Create a simple affirmation and repeat it to yourself during the day. For example, you might replace 'I am ugly' with I am feeling ugly, but I am normally beautiful. You wouldn't use the negative 'I am not ugly'. Other examples might be:

• I am unlovable – I am feeling unloveable, but I am loveable

• Nobody loves me – I am feeling that nobody loves me, really everyone loves me

• I don't deserve – I am feeling like I don't deserve…, but I deserve all my heart desires

Your energy creates your reality, so, smile, choose new thoughts and emotions and don't forget to write in your journal things that you are grateful for. We will look at gratitude later.

Journal it: What negatives do you need to reframe? Make a list of things you say and them replace them with affirmations that feel good to you. Reflect on what happens when you do this. How would you prefer to feel? Who would you be if you weren't at the 'mercy' of your emotions?

The you now perspective

Your journal enables you to ask questions, be curious and explore your past from the you now perspective. The emotions that you once experienced will now feel different. This will help you to understand yourself and others better. In this way, you can use your journal to scramble the script and tell a new story. When you do this, you can give them a better meaning and learn more about how to manage them in the present. This provides wonderful opportunities for growth and the future you.

Taking responsibility

When you see your stories in black and white, please be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Your journal is not a place for judgements. Take the stand of this has happened for me (to learn and grow) and not to me. By being responsible for your emotions and embracing what you learn over time, you will see your transformation.

Journal it: Choose an emotion that you want to work with and consider the story from the you, now perspective. Give the emotion a better meaning. What have you learned? What growth opportunities does this give you?

Journaling, perspective and letting it go with a scream

Try this, it works.

Write in your journal and get out whatever needs to be released.

Choose a word to describe the situation or person.

Turn it into a 5 word mind map.

Go high in nature and scream the word at the top of your lungs.

Later that night write the five words and journal around them.

Try it, it works and the energy around your emotions will shift.

Emotional intelligence

Many of us are disconnected from our emotions—especially strong emotions such as anger, sadness, fear—because we've been taught to try to shut off our feelings. But while you can deny or numb your feelings, you can't eliminate them. They're still there, whether you're aware of them or not.

Even unpleasant emotions can have beneficial aspects. Sadness can support emotional healing. For example, anxiety can trigger keeping you safe, fear can trigger life-saving action, and anger can mobilize and inspire. Unfortunately, without being connected to all of your emotions, you can't manage stress and anxiety, fully understand your own behaviour, or appropriately control how you think and act. Whatever your circumstances or challenges, the skills for improving your emotional intelligence and managing your emotions can be learned at any time.

Emotional intelligence is partially the ability to be able to 'manage' your emotions. Being emotionally intelligent is about better understanding yourself and your emotions while understanding others, and their feelings. Daniel Goleman from his 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence suggests the following model for managing your emotions.

• Knowing your emotions

• Managing your own emotions

• Motivating yourself

• Recognising and understanding other people's emotions

• Managing relationships, i.e., managing the emotions of others

Journaling enables you to see patterns and pictures in how you manage your emotions and how you interact with others. Also, you can practice reframing your emotions and holding assertive conversations in your journal before having to face anyone in the flesh. All of which will improve your emotional intelligence.

Tips

Reflect on your own emotions

Take time in your journal to reflect on your emotions. Think about how you respond in certain situations. What do you learn?

Talk to someone about your experience

Talking is important who can you talk about your emotions with?

Ask others what they think

Choose someone that you trust and ask them what they observe. Do not judge what they say. Write it in your journal, reflect and ask what do you learn? Always ask for clarity and stay calm with an open mind.

Notice your emotions

As you go through the day, stop and notice. Perhaps write what you discover in a notebook and later write it up in your anxiety record.

Pause

My dad used to say engage this (points to head) before opening this (points to mouth), and while I found it rather rude, he was right. Pause and take a moment before you respond to someone or something.

Feeling offended by someone else?

Try not to be. Pause and breathe. Count to 10. Then ask what can I learn? You may not know in this moment, but you can certainly explore in your journal later.

Ask why?

Understanding other perspectives is powerful. Imagine that you are they. What is it like being them? What experiences have they had they make them behave like this? I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt, unless they do this thing once too often. I pause, breathe, and ask why?

Set up mini-challenges

Try practising your new emotional intelligence skills at predictable times of stress and anxiety, when the stakes are low. For example, tune into your body while doing household chores or out while walking.

Practice, practice, practice

The more you journal, the more comfortable you will feel with your emotions and the greater change you'll experience in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. With regular practice, you can actually change your brain in ways that will make you feel more in control.

Expect setbacks

Don't lose hope if you slide into old habits now and then. It happens, instead of giving up after a setback, vow to start fresh next time and learn from your mistakes.

When in doubt, return to your body

If you're struggling to manage your feelings in a tough situation, take a deep breath, and apply one of the tools that you will learn about.

Journal it: Take some time to connect with you and check-in with

• Check-in with the YOU aspect of emotional intelligence – self-awareness

• Pick an area of your life to focus on where you feel anxious– e.g. at work

• Rate yourself 1 – not so great to 10 brilliant

• Consider what actions you could take, from the list above

• Journal and reflect – what do you learn?

What brings you joy?

Often we forget about the simple things in life that bring us joy and connect us with the spirit within. This is a lovely way to remind yourself of the things that bring us joy and connect us back with our spirit. What you will also find that these things will reduce your anxiety if you choose to participate.

Journal it: Make an A to Z list of things that bring you joy

Choose to follow your joy

• Choose an activity

• Choose to follow your joy

• Journal and reflect

Body sensations

You may have heard of the fight/flight response. When there is a trigger, our body releases hormones into your body, which gets us ready to focus on the danger. Many people spend all day responding to threat after threat. This leaves little room for them to find their place of inner peace. All of this adrenaline and other anxious activities like procrastination, avoidance, emotional eating, and drinking put us under enormous pressure.

As you think about an event that has triggered your anxiety, you will feel sensations in your body. Your heart might start beating faster. You may feel like you cannot breathe. You may feel hot and sweaty. You may feel shaky. You may have an upset stomach (this always used to be one of my favourites). Then there are other sensations that seem to be there and lingering most of the time. Take a look at this list and tick the ones that resonate with you. You may have noted some of these already.

• Breathing faster

• Can't catch your breath

• Muscle tension – for example, aching back, shoulders, or jaw

• Familiar aches and pains

• Trembling and sweating

• Chronic headaches/regular headaches/migraines

• Fluctuating appetite

• Stomach aches, stomach problems or nausea

• Teeth-grinding

• Sleeping difficulties

• Feeling frequently weary, even after sleep

• Restlessness and difficulty relaxing and sleeping

• Frequent cold sores, colds or flu

• Panic attacks

• High blood pressure

Starting to become aware of what is happening in your body is a wonderful start to being able to make some suitable changes.

Journal it: As you go through your day or week, make a list of these things that come up. What do you learn about your triggers?

Body scan

As we have said, you may not even be aware that these are happening. I invite you to do a quick body scan to see where you are holding your tension. When this occurs too often, you may notice you have one or more long-lasting symptoms as listed previously. Let's start with some ways that you can listen to your body.

Tools for listening to your body

Relaxation

Before you can hear anything, you need to be in a relaxed state. One of the simplest ways of doing this is to have a bath. Other ways include massage, reflexology, walking, meditating and sitting quietly in a space that promotes calm. Were any of these on you're A to Z list_

Breath

I've learnt an incredible amount about breath from my amazing client and friend Anandi (aka The Sleep Guru and author of Breathe Better, Sleep Better). In using the breath in different ways, you create a space for communication to occur. Put your hands on your tummy and practice breathing into your hands. Keep it slow and steady and if rubbish comes into your head, count. As you find ways to connect to your breath, you will hear your body talking to you.

Mind's eye

I am not quite sure how to describe this. What I do is connect to my third eye, which is between my normal eyes and send it off around my body, exploring what is going on. You can send it into all of your nooks and crannies. Have an open mind to what comes back. Like the breath, you'll get all kinds of information coming back to you.

Hands

Place your hands on the spot that hurts, or where you are holding tension and ask 'what's going on, what do you want to tell me, and what else do I need to know?' Your hands are fabulous communication transmitters. I often put one hand on my heart and one on my solar plexus (above my belly button) and have a chat.

Dreams

All kinds of messages can come in dreams. How you interpret the words and pictures are as individual as you are. Again, dream books are useful but more useful is asking yourself what the images mean to you. You dream in metaphors, and these are particular to you. I once dreamt of a thing called a yarrow pea, it was enormous. When I researched yarrow, I discovered that it was wonderful for hot flushes.

Which tool is right for you?

The only advice I can give you is that you try things out and find out what works for you. My favourites are my hand, breath and mind's eye. However, I am grateful for the words and pictures that come seemingly unbidden.

Stop ignoring your body

This human container which is made up of energy which is connected to and resonates with the Universe and therefore all wisdom. It has its own innate divine wisdom and as such is an incredible device for telling you what you need to know. Acknowledge it, love it, work with it, and you will receive the knowledge about how to improve your well being.

When you have explored and have the information that you need, say thank you. Show gratitude to your body; she/he works hard for you. Do something fab for you and your body to celebrate this new level of awareness and understanding. What are your plans for listening to your body more?

Journal it: Explore the different ways to listen to your body and write up your experiences in your journal.

Your body map

Allied with listening to the body having a body map is really useful. We know that it is important to understand what is going on with your body so that when you make decisions, you are making them based on good information. We often forget what's going on for us in a bid to get well quicker or to fix ourselves. By having the bigger picture available, you can make better choices.

Physical

Use the following diagram and write down what is going on for you right now. That means starting at the top of your head and scanning all parts of you. Do this once with your eyes closed and really take the time to visit every nook and cranny. No matter what you sense, write it on your body map. Also, try and use descriptive words, so if for example, you feel pain in your ribs, and it seems fuzzy, tingly, and square write it. It only needs to make sense to you. When you do this exercise again, you will be able to see and know if your aches and pains have changed quality. Another example may be that you feel a sharp pain in your neck when triggered, which feels pointy and sharp. Then you discover by not engaging in heated conversations it goes away…That is progress, and you will be able to see the changes from body map to body map.

Mental and emotional

I find my mental and emotional state changes from day to day. When my hormones were out of balance, I could cry spontaneously and feel like it was the end of the world one minute and then laughing and playing with my dogs the next. What I did was to write in different colours the things that were more fixed and the things that are fluid. Again, do this once a month to check what progress you are making and where you can see connections. Let's say if like me, your hormones are a little crazy at a particular time of the month, and this exacerbates your anxiety, you are now more aware and can choose to explore your options.

Journal it: Create a body map and write about what you learn.

Separating body sensations from stories

We are great storytellers, and when you start to wake or get your wake up calls, you will begin to notice the stories that you tell yourself. You can uncover the stories that you tell yourself by going back through your journal.

One of the things I talk about is our truth, but we have our truth, someone else's truth and then the real truth. You often find that when you create a story around an event, you will encode it with, an emotional feeling, and store it in your memory in a slightly distorted way. You may also store it away in the version that belongs to someone else. The thing is these are also stored in your body, and you will be able to recall them at will – in the moment – along with the body sensations.

You may also find yourself using words and phrases that connect your body to your stories and emotions with phrases like – I feel like my gut is being torn apart, my heart feels like a lead weight, there's a big hole in my heart, my head feels ready to explode, and it's like I have been kicked in the gut.

All of your stories and phrases help to anchor them in your body, and while anchors are great for inducing good feelings, they are not so great.

Journal it: What are those stories that are coming up for you? Where do you feel them in your body? What do you learn?

Recognising your behaviour

Remember this from the beginning of the course? When you feel threatened, real or perceived, you can feel stressed or anxious. When you take action, that is your way of protecting yourself and feeling safe again. We are hardwired for movement (fight or flight). Think back to caveman days, and here comes a big hairy, scary animal, what are you going to do? Probably run as fast as you can.

These days you may find yourself feeling anxious that you will be late for something and getting irritated if others do not hurry up. This kind of behaviour might have started with feeling stress and then escalated. You may isolate or avoid something because you think people don't want you around. Again you might have done this once or twice, and now you do it all of the time. Or what about being unable to think clearly because you have been presented with something new to do in a short space of time. This may have started as a great challenge, and now it freaks you out all of the time.

First things first

It is important to remember that some anxiety is normal. We cannot get rid of all the anxiety in our lives. It is only a problem when you allow it to get in the way. Ask yourself how many things you have avoided in the last month because of this?

One of my students on an assertiveness course was convinced that she would never pass her project management exams. She felt threatened and bullied in work because of this. She wanted to leave her job and was terrified for her future. She felt her career and livelihood were in danger. We worked on her anxiety with journaling, breathing and visualisation, and she passed her exam and found ways to let go of these feelings.

She was 'lucky' because her anxiety was visible, and she asked for help. People who have a lot of unhelpful anxiety may not even know why they feel anxious and therefore don't do anything until things are really awful.

The goal is to deal with this unhelpful anxiety.

First, start with your thoughts. I suggest that you use your journal to log what is going on when you are anxious. Next, consider any emotions, notice the intensity and regularity. Then, notice the body sensations. After which, you will need to look at how you act when you are anxious. E.g. Fighting, running away, or freezing. You toolkit is going to support you with all of these.

How to recognise you are in an anxious state

One of the most powerful aha moments you will come when you see the link between your routine and anxious state. For example, you may check your emails as soon as you wake up, and flick through social media twenty times a day, check the news at every break and spend all your energy with friends and family being a worrywart. This can all add up to you being stuck in an anxious state for the majority of the day. One of the best ways to notice this is to write a day in the life of a worrywart in your diary.

Your anxiety record

Take a typical day this week, log the thoughts, emotions and physical sensations in your body and the situation they occur. Then identify roughly the percentage of time you are in either anxious or calm state. Feel free to go into as much detail as you would like. Here are some suggested time slots but if you want to do it every few hours then do that:

• Morning: Wake up to 9am

• Morning: 9am – 12am

• Afternoon: 12am – 6pm

• Evening: 6pm till bed

Journal it: Take a day and log what happens for you. What do you learn?

Perspectives

The value of changing your perspective

The thing to know about perspectives is that every single individual on the planet has a relatively unique point of view, which encompasses their own individual experiences and situations. While it's true that some people cross over and come to the same conclusions based on their lives and experiences, the way in which they got there is totally unique to them.

For this reason, and the unconscious biases that can accompany any one perspective, it's valuable to learn to change perspective before making final decisions. Once you understand the value of changing your perspective, you can use this in all life areas.

• Enjoy a better understanding – when you seek knowledge from every angle, getting information from different sources, you will gain a much better understanding of the problem and its solutions.

• Change your feelings – hearing from someone else about an issue can even change your feelings about it, despite your own internal biases due to your own personal perspective.

• Improve your relationships – being open to other perspectives and points of view automatically makes you a safe person to be around for the people in your life. If you're not judgmental and you listen, your relationships will be deeper.

• Overcome biases – every single person on the Earth has unconscious biases about everything due to their own perspective. When you are able to look at other people's perspectives, sometimes you can overcome your biases and thus make much better choices based on the real facts because, sadly, our own perspective sometimes can be clouded and not factual.

• Resolve conflict constructively – one of the best skills you can develop if you need to resolve conflicts on a regular basis is to be able to argue issues from other people's perspectives. When you can do that, you can usually come to win-win conclusions.

• Solve more problems successfully – a person who can go outside of their comfort zone to collect and listen to many perspectives about a problem that needs to be solved they're more likely to find a solution. That is why choosing diverse teams is essential to business success.

• Become a more persuasive person – the fact that you can look at and understand many perspectives as well as explain issues from these different points of view means that you'll be able to argue much more persuasively because you can use words that relate to the people you want to persuade.

Visualise meeting you!

Seeing yourself from another's perspective is very powerful and revealing, especially if that other person is you, looking in on you. You can do this by looking at yourself from a photo and/or from your imagination, describe what you see as if you had never met yourself. Scary stuff!

From a photograph

Get a recent photograph of yourself. Place the photograph in front of you; now answer these questions. Looking at that person: -

• What do you see?

• What are you wearing?

• What colours do you have on?

• What is the style of your clothing, are you dressed for business or leisure?

• What is your hairstyle like, your facial expression?

• Who else is in the picture with you?

• Now imagine that you have never met yourself, write a few paragraphs about the person in the picture.

• Who do you think they are?

• Write a bit about their life, hopes

From your imagination

Look in the mirror, take a good look. Close your eyes, and when you open them, take a moment and imagine that you are meeting you for the first time.

• What is your first impression?

• Are you interesting?

• Are you a sad or happy person?

• What does this person do for a living? What is her/his dream job?

• Does she/he have a partner, or children, what are they like?

• What is her/his house like?

• What other questions do you have? Ask away

Journal it: Do both of the perspectives exercises and reflect on what you learn

Anxiety journaling prompts

Let's end this part with some journaling prompts to help you to raise your awareness just a tad more.

• When do you remember first starting to feel anxious?

• What triggered your anxiety?

• What recently triggered your anxiety?

• Does anxiety run in your family? How does that present? And what have you learned about your families anxiety?

• What does anxiety feel like to you?

• Where do you notice it in your body?

• What emotions do you feel?

• How do you usually respond when you feel anxious?

• In the last week/month/3 months – what thoughts have been running around your head?

• When it comes to relaxing, what stops you?

• When it comes to disturbed sleep, what happens – do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep?

• Do you have bad dreams and if yes, what kinds of dreams do you recall?

• What is your biggest concern or fear?

• When you think of fears, what can you control and what can't you?

• Write down one thing you can do right now to control the situation?

• What do you learn from that?

• When you are feeling anxious, what makes you feel better?

• What makes you feel worse?

• Spell anxiety, and write a letter to anxiety, add in how you would rather things were.

• What do you learn?

Introduction to energy

We are going to look at energy in relation to anxiety as the chakras and our connection to these incredible energy and information centres can support overcoming anxiety and create a better understanding of ourselves. In connection with anxiety, it is not important to fully explore what each chakra means and why they 'do' certain things. We are using them as a way to communicate with our body.

Energy

Energy has been described by many different cultures, such as Chi, Ki and Prana, a life-force. Scientists describe it in another way more practical way, measuring ions and atoms. Energy for me is everywhere and everything. Our food, the air that we breathe and every cell in your body has an energetic impulse. As you sit quietly and consider you - you are using and harnessing energy. Breathing circulates and connects your energy, and without breath, you are dead. Healers harness energy to heal. People with passion bring energy into everything that they do, and this energy creates action. To create change, you need energy.

Journaling brings the energy of your heart and soul to the paper. The more you journal, the more you will form good energy habits. The habits you form consume large quantities of energy. If you cultivate good habits that energy will stay healthy and provide a powerhouse for your new life. Your journaling will connect you to the data contained within your chakras. I call this everywhere energy the energy superhighway. Practising journaling, gratitude, affirmations and visualisation while being connected with your chakras will raise your vibration, help to open and balance your chakras as a result. This practice can attract more abundance, happiness, health, inner peace, love, meaningful relationships, and other positive attributes into your life.

What are chakras?

The chakras are energy points or centres in our bodies in and out of which energy flows. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your chakras are mini data centres where everything that has happened to you is stored. Each centre houses specific experiences. How cool is that to have your own mini you library stored in areas of your body? I also believe that they hold keys to our future selves too.

Just as we have a physical body, chakras can be likened to our spiritual body. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and life. The health and energetic vibration of each chakra is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts and feelings. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

Each chakra has a colour that resonates with a specific frequency on the colour spectrum. If you know the colours of the rainbow, you will know the colours of the chakras:·

• Root - Red

• Sacral - Orange

• Solar plexus - Yellow

• Heart - Green

• Throat - Blue

• Third eye (Brow) - Indigo

• Crown - Violet (white/gold)

Because light affects every living cell, the colours of the chakra system affect us emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Because of this, we can use colour frequencies to balance and rejuvenate our chakras. However, although these are the colours that we commonly use, you may find as you connect to your chakras and meditate on them another colour will appear. That is the colour that will bring healing right now. The important thing is to not be wed to what the colour should be, simply trust that the colour that you see, or sense is your colour.

Why is it important to know about the chakras?

The chakras are fascinating and provide a framework for understanding who you are, healing, what you want and how to become the person you want to be. This basic overview is to give you a feel for the chakras and what is available to you. Each chakra has several themes and a specific emotion. By taking the time to work with each chakra and the themes while understanding the emotions, you will start to see where you are in or out of balance, and then you can make conscious choices to change and enjoy life more.

In simple terms, the chakra system is an incredible diagnostic and self-help tool. For our bodies to function optimally, all of our seven chakras need to be balanced. This means that your vital energy is flowing smoothly through your body. If one of the energy centres is not functioning at it’s best, then the others won’t work as well as they should. Some of them can be overactive, and some of them can be underactive, just as say your thyroid might be one or the other. This is something you will pick up over time as you work with them. It is better to learn your energy patterns than rely on what others say – although it can be useful in some situations to read up about each of these as a guide.

I believe that if you understand the principals of the chakras, the better able you will be able to self-diagnose imbalances and be able to take the necessary action for realignment on your own. You may find it difficult to keep them balanced as you rush around and forget to take time out to do some simple daily balancing. It’s like remembering to drink water, the more you do it, the better you will feel.

By learning about and tuning in with the seven major chakras, you can become more aware of the natural energy cycles of your body. Which has to be a good thing. You will also pick up information about your experiences which will help you to heal and grow. You can then look at your experiences from a place of gratitude, love, learning and appreciation.

Root – Foundations and the right to be here

The root chakra is located at the base of the spine at the tailbone in the back, and the pubic bone in front. The right of this chakra is simply to be here. It is the first of our three physical chakras.

Colour red. Element earth. Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are earth element signs. Planet – Saturn. The right to be here. Emotion – fear. Endocrine gland - Gonads. Spine - The coccyx (tailbone). Age 0-7

Needs

The root chakra is about your needs for survival, security, safety, trust, belonging, health and wellbeing, family, past life issues home and money. This is where you will want to create a home, not only to live in but your home on earth and the home you make in your body. When we think of the root chakra, we think of grounding and connecting with Mother Earth. Which is where we get the beautifully vibrant, abundant earth colours of red, brown and black. This chakra supports the upward flow of energy from Mother Earth.

Balanced

When balanced, you feel grounded in the present and able to confidently release the fears that hold you back from growing into who you want to become. You will feel safe and secure in yourself, you’ll trust yourself and the decisions you make. Home feels welcoming and cosy, you feel like you belong. You get enormous satisfaction from being in nature and breathing in fresh air. Balancing this chakra lays the foundations for the chakras above it.

Manifesting

When you have healthy roots and foundations, you have a great base from which to manifest what you want in life. You will trust that abundance is available to you and feel at home asking for what you want.

Root chakra - Fear

This chakra is blocked by fear which closes down our right to be here. When you identity fear and the roots of it, you will begin to understand how you can start to eliminate it. Ask yourself what you are afraid of the most, and what is the worst that can happen? Who will you be when you feel safe and secure? When you move along the fear-love spectrum towards love, you will find that you will release more fear because you cannot hold onto both at once.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Sacral – Creativity and the right to feel

This chakra is located two inches below the navel and is rooted in the spine. The right of this chakra is the right to feel, which means feeling emotionally connected to yourself and to others around you.

Colour orange. Element - water. Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are water signs. Planet – Jupiter. The right to feel. Emotion – guilt. Endocrine gland – Pancreas. Spine – L3 to L5. Age 8-14

Needs

This is about your needs around sexuality, creativity, emotions, nourishing yourself, connection with your inner child, pleasure, play, self-expression, nurturing intuition, Intimacy and the roots of self-esteem. So often this is where you might stuff down your emotions which can create problems later in life. And also where you might lose your creative side as you try to conform with what others expect of you. At this chakra, this is where you will want to invite your inner child to come out to play.

Balanced

When this chakra is in balance, it is easier to be in touch with your emotions and to more fully express your feelings in the world. You feel creative and start to feel confident in your creativity, have a sense of self-esteem, maintain good health practices, are connected to good emotional responses, are emotionally intelligent and enjoy connection and contact with others. When I think of this chakra, I also think of pleasure, play and joy, this is where your inner child has the most fun. Think of things that you can do like sing, dance and paint.

Manifesting

When it comes to manifesting, you will be able to use your creativity and to uncover what you want, and you will know what it feels like when you have it.

Sacral Chakra - Guilt

This Chakra is blocked by guilt which closes down our right to feel. To support this chakra, learn to accept that these things happened, let go and forgive yourself. Remember we are here to learn and without lessons, how will we ever learn? Ask what do you blame yourself for? Do you feel that you have let somebody down? Did you hurt someone close to you? Do you feel like you failed your parents or your partner? Who will you be when you no longer feel guilt for things you perhaps don’t need to. Forgiving yourself and others is a powerful way to release guilt and live a life you deserve. Never feel guilty for being honest about how you feel, and never apologise for being you.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Solar Plexus – Identity and the right to act

This chakra is located two inches below the breastbone behind the stomach, near your belly button. The right at this chakra is the right to act.

Colour yellow. Element - fire. Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius are fire element signs. Planet – Mars. The right to act. Emotion – shame. Endocrine gland – Adrenals. Spine – L2 to T5. Age 15-21

Needs

This chakra is about your identity, personal power, confidence, assertiveness, personal boundaries, personal leadership, self-control, and self-esteem. Remember when as a child or young person, you wanted to express your individuality and how that might have felt, this is where you first experienced exerting your will and the right to be you. This chakra right means acting with confidence, honouring your personal values, and bravely taking steps towards goals and intentions.

As your centre of personal power, self-image and self-esteem, this is a beautiful space to allow the warrior or goddess inside of you to shine. At this chakra, you are called to listen to your intuition (gut feelings) rather than listening to outside voices and using your will to achieve what you desire. It’s also about taking responsibility for choosing how you want to live your life.

Balanced

When this chakra is balanced, you feel confident in who you are, assertive and motivated. You listen to your gut feelings and trust who you are becoming. You set clear goals, and intentions, you move confidently forward to achieve them. You assert your will in a healthy way because you value your relationship with yourself and others.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting what you want, this chakra is about who you will become when you have what you want.

Solar plexus chakra - Shame

Your solar plexus chakra is blocked by shame. This shame closes down your connection to your right to act and take action. Releasing shame creates a balanced third chakra which allows self-esteem and self-worth to grow. Ask yourself what you are ashamed of? Often we have shame related to our bodies, eating habits, abilities, sex and things we have done, but would rather forget. When you get caught up in this, you will feel unworthy and unloved. The way to heal this chakra and release shame is to unconditionally accept and believe in yourself. When you start choosing you, this creates the foundations for self-love to grow.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Heart – Love and the right to love and be loved

This chakra is located behind the breastbone in front and on the spine between the shoulder blades in back. This is about your right to love and be loved.

Colours green or pink. Element - air. Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are air element signs. Planet – Venus. The right to love and be loved. Emotion – grief. Endocrine gland – Thymus. Spine – T4 to T2. Age 22-28.

Needs

This chakra is about love, self-love, kindness, compassion, empathy, courage, vulnerability, relationships - connections to other’s hearts, boundaries and forgiveness. This is the centre of love and is connected to your relationships with family, lovers, friends, and animals. This is where the physical and spiritual chakras meet and is the gateway between them. As you work to heal and balance the chakras below, this enables the hurts held here to also be healed. By learning to let go of the pain and grief, you will be able to open your heart to new experiences and love.

Balanced

When this chakra is balanced, you feel open, kind, receptive, giving, forgiving, accepting, and connected in a loving way to both yourself and other people. You feel sincere gratitude and appreciation for your life. You feel the love flowing through your life, you will think about how you give and receive love. And when you feel on the same wavelength with someone, it is because you have a heart connection.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting what you want, the gratitude and appreciation you feel here will support you to get more of what you want.

Heart chakra - Grief

The heart chakra is blocked by grief and closes down our right to love and be loved. Releasing grief creates a balanced heart, that means we can offer acceptance and compassion to others and ourselves. It is the place that allows for vulnerability and welcomes in love. Ask what you are sad about? What are your losses? Dealing with loss is a hard thing to do indeed. Consider this, love is energy, and that lost love is reborn in the form of new love. Ask yourself what the deepest, most painful loss you ever experienced is? A loss of a job/career/business? A loss of health? A loss of a friend or a loved one? The loss of love? How did you ever get over it? Are you maybe still holding on to it? Our hearts feel and experience the pain of grief and loss physically, emotionally, energetically and spiritually. It is the gateway to unconditional love within us and to others around us.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Throat – Voice and the right to speak and hear the truth

This is located in the V of the collarbone at your lower neck. The right of this chakra is to speak our truth in a way that others can listen and understand. This is the first of your spiritual chakras.

Colour blue. Element - ether. Planet – Mercury. The right to speak and hear the truth. Emotion – lies. Endocrine gland – Thyroid. Spine – T1 to C5. Age 28-34.

Needs

The throat chakra is how you communicate, listen and understand. A lot of personal transformation can occur here when you finally learn to find your voice and speak your truth. It is from here you can communicate and express your divine inner wisdom. You will find yourself being sensitive to the power of words, thinking about how you speak to yourself and others. It also influences your ability to actively listen to and hear others, which is how you create your foundation for understanding. This is the first of the spiritual chakras which opens the gateway to developing clairaudience and the other chakras.

Balanced

When this chakra is balanced, you will be able to express yourself well, communicate clearly and listen to your intuitive inner voice as well as others.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting opening your throat and speaking your truth will enable you to express confidently what you want and who you are.

Throat chakra - Lies

The throat chakra is blocked by lies which closes down your communication centre and your right to hear and speak the truth. It is affected by the lies that we tell ourselves and lies that we tell others. By releasing any lies, you can gain perspective and clearly communicate with integrity with the world. Ask, what part about yourself are you in denial with? What lies do you tell others and yourself – and why? Who will you be when you no longer feel the need to hide behind lies? When you dare to express who you are and what you stand for the lies that you may tell or the deceptions will fall away, and you will be more honest with yourself and others.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Third Eye – Vision and the right to see

This is located above the physical eyes on the centre of the forehead. The right of this chakra is the right to see without illusions.

Colour - indigo. Element - light. Planet – Sun. The right to see. Emotion – illusion. Endocrine gland - Pituitary. Spine – C4 to C2. Age 35-41.

Needs

Your third eye chakra is about seeing differently, perception, imagination, your psychic ability, and higher intuition. It also deals with your relationship with yourself and connection to your Higher Self. It is the place of imagination, insight, visualisation, dreams, and visions. Here you will receive guidance which can be corroborated with your emotions at the sacral and gut feelings at the solar plexus. This chakra acts as our guiding light in life, giving us the ability to see solutions, be objective, and clear-headed. It is here that we bridge left and right-brained thinking and get our most significant insights. This is the second of the spiritual chakras which opens the gateway to developing clairvoyance.

Balanced

When this is balanced, you understand how things around you are working, you can solve challenges calmly, you will have clarity of vision and thought, you are imaginative and intuitive, and possess great insight. Using your intuition and imagination and can turn your ideas into brilliant visions. You will use this inner sense to ask for guidance to make the right decisions.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting what you want, you are able to envision what it will look like when your dreams become a reality.

Third eye chakra - Illusion

This chakra deals with insight, which is blocked by illusion, and this closes down our right to see. This chakra asks us to release the illusions that hold us back from clarity and truth. When your visions are not allowed to come to fruition, then you can feel separated from all that is dear to you. It is believed that one of the biggest illusions humans have is the illusion of separation. The illusion that we are separated from the rest of the world. Because in fact, we are all one. We may not be equal, but energetically we are one. Ask why you are unable to create a vision for your life? What illusions do you put in the way of bringing your visions to life? When you dare to dream and turn these into goals, you will find that your life will change in unexpected ways.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Crown – Connection and the right to know and understand

This is located just behind the top of your skull. The right of this chakra is to know and understand.

Colour violet. Element - consciousness. Planet – Moon. The right to know. Emotion - attachment. Endocrine gland – Pineal. Spine – C1. Age 42-49.

Needs

The crown chakra connects you to your highest spiritual consciousness, the divine, expanded personal expression, purpose and having an open mind. The crown chakra focuses your attention on the spiritual side of life. It allows for your spirituality to become integrated into your physical life. The crown chakra gives you access to the divine and motivates you to seek a deeper connection to the divine. It is also knowing that the divine is in all of us. It is a place of intuitive knowledge and wisdom. Remember that the first chakra connects you to Mother Earth, this chakra connects you to the divine and when they are connected to each other create a universal pathway that supports mind, body, soul and spirit. This is the third of the spiritual chakras which opens the gateway to developing claircognizance.

Balanced

When this chakra is balanced, you feel connected to Universal consciousness, your higher-self, can see and understand the bigger picture and that there is a purpose larger than what is going on inside yourself. You will have a deeper understanding of what your life purpose it and how that brings meaning into your life.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting, your connection with the Universe will enable you to manifest magic, and bring your dreams into consciousness.

Crown chakra - Attachment

This chakra is blocked by attachment and closes down our right to know. By releasing attachments (psychological or physical), we are able to be aware of a global or collective conscious, as well as the larger purpose. You may be feeling lost and creatively stuck as if everyone else knows what they’re doing, but you don’t know what to do next. Ask what you are attached to? Money, love, sex, things? How can you let these attachments go? Who will you be when you let them go? The goal is to completely surrender; letting go of anything that has a hold on you. It is said that to open this chakra, you need to let go of attachments and outdated beliefs so that you can feel a greater sense of inner peace.

Journal it: What stands out for you when you learn about this chakra?

Chakra keywords

In your handout is a list of chakra keywords. Use these words over a one to two week period to mark up what comes up for you when you do your daily check-in and meditation. Do not worry if these exact words don’t appear, we are looking for clues. Simply tick if the words resonate. For example, you may wake one morning feeling fearful, then you tick that word. Later in the day, you may find that once again, your creativity just isn’t there. Another day you don’t know who you are (identity) and your values have been crossed again.

Simply use this list to become aware of what comes up, makes you feel anxious or stands in the way of you being able to enjoy life. When you reflect on your list, ask, what you learn about yourself and what are the most common things that come up for you. Go to your what brings me joy list and use one of these simple activities to reframe your day. As you move through this course, you will find lots of other tools to support you.

And always remember that if you have something that is terribly out of control, seek help from a professional.

Journal it: Over the coming week tick the words that come up for you. What do you notice? Are there any triggers? Are these longer standing thoughts, feelings or emotions? When you see a pattern ask what one thing can you do to support yourself. Go to your what brings you joy list and connect with an activity there.

Recognising your dominant style of sensing

How do you recognise what your preferred or dominant style of sensing is? I always start with knowing what my preferred style of ordinary communication is – visual, auditory, or kinaesthetic. When I know this, I will practice flexing my style, so that I create more self-awareness around each.

When someone is processing visually:

• Their thinking process involves creating pictures in their mind.

• They understand things best when they can 'get the picture' in their mind's eye.

• They re-present ideas and memories as mental images so learn best when there are diagrams that re-present ideas.

• Their note-taking can be made more effective by using colours and shapes

• Mind-mapping can be helpful in organising thoughts.

• They talk rather fast and because they've got the picture in their head of what they're talking about,

• They may skim over the details.

• You may notice a tendency to use their hands a lot when talking; that's their way of describing the pictures in your mind.

When someone is processing with an auditory style:

• They process their thinking with sounds.

• They learn and work best when they can talk things over with someone or listen to what someone has to say.

• They may be more aware of the sound of a person's voice, than what they are saying.

• They can be convinced more by what someone says to them than by what they read in a book.

When someone is processing kinaesthetically:

• They process their thinking through bodily sensations.

• They learn and work best when they can be in touch with the physical world around them.

• This may either be by involving themselves in taking lots of notes, or by moving around.

• They also re-present thoughts as feelings and use their intuitive sense to check whether things are correct or incorrect.

• They talk and breathe deeply.

• It may seem to them that they need a longer time than other people to think of what they want to say.

• It may also take them longer to understand things.

When someone is processing with an Auditory Digital style:

• Thinking is talking things over in their head.

• Words and their meanings are important.

• Words mean so much to them that language will tend to form a filter between them and real experience.

• They will 'live in their head' rather than living in the real world.

• Because they listen more to the voice in their head than to what others are saying, they may miss out on what others are saying to them.

• They may also miss the meanings people convey in their voice tone, which can make relationships difficult.

• They have a preference for analysing logically rather than responding emotionally.

The benefit of understanding this is that you will understand how you think and can use this to raise your awareness and know how to make things work for you.

Journal it. Sit quietly now where you won’t be distracted for a few minutes. Scan the area around you, taking in all details and feelings of where you are. Then close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe deeply and slowly as you mentally review what caught your attention when you scanned the room. Was it the sight of something, the sound of something, the feeling of something, a taste or smell perhaps you got a thought or a knowing? What did you learn? How did you receive information?

Let’s connect to the chakras

The first thing to do is to simply become aware of what the chakras are and where they are in your body. Place a hand on each, in turn, breathe and tune it. What do you pick up? Don’t worry if nothing happens, this all comes with time. For now, tune in ask ‘what do you want me to know?’ Who knows what will come up…

• Rub your hands together quickly and generate some heat

• Then send roots from your feet to the heart of Mother Earth (three hearts meditation in start your day well)

• Breathe gently in and out through all of your chakras, out of the crown around your body, back to earth

• Do three rounds of this

• Then place your hands on either each chakra in turn or the ones you feel drawn to

• Ask conscious and open questions

• Journal what look out for information coming to you during the day

Journal it: Spend some time daily exploring your energy systems in any way that works for you. What do you pick up when you put your hands on your chakras? Ask ‘what do you want me to know? Do not stop to journal each thing that you pick up. Wait until you are finished and only journal what you remember. As you go about your day, other things will come to you, record these in a notebook or in your journal later.

The chakras and your intuition

As a part of developing your intuitive abilities knowing how you receive information is key, however, you also need to balance and work with your chakras so that you as a receiving device is flowing and ready. Working with the chakras will enhance your ability to trust yourself and act on your intuition. Each chakra provides a part of the puzzle: You work on the lower chakras to help prepare you for connecting to your intuition at the upper chakras.

• Roots –When you feel safe, secure and grounded, you can explore your intuition because you know that it is safe to do so. Also, intuitive people can read other peoples’ body language and are aware of their own body sensations, such as chills, tingles, etc. which are providing intuitive clues

• Sacral –At this chakra, you start to acknowledge what you are feeling. This emotional connection creatively guides you towards your answers

• Solar plexus – When you are standing in your personal power, feel confident and assertive, you will begin to trust your gut feelings and not allow your head to take over. This is the centre for clairsentience

• Heart – The heart is the gateway between the lower physical chakras and the upper spiritual ones. This is where the wisdom of your heart lives, and It is here that you will ask your heart what it thinks about your choices and decisions

• Throat – This is the centre for intuitive hearing and listening. This is when you hear words, sounds or music in the voice of your own mind. Sometimes you may hear tones or other noises. It is the centre for clairaudience

• The Third Eye – This is the centre of psychic intuition and psychic visions. This is when you see images or visions in your mind’s eye, or third eye, much like a daydream. This is the centre for clairvoyance

• The Crown chakra – This chakra connects you with spirit and your higher self. This is where you have knowledge of people or events that we would not normally have knowledge about. You seem to just know the facts with a sense of certainty. Also, spirit sends messages that simply pop into your minds from out of nowhere. This is the centre for claircognisance

Meditation and being mindful helps you to focus your awareness and go within. Start each day with a meditation that connects your heart to the heart of Mother Earth and the heart of consciousness. After which you can take your awareness to each chakra and bring balance and peace to it.

You may not feel a change for a while, but be patient. It will be interesting to notice the changes to your awareness.

Journal it: What do you notice about how connected you feel to each of the energy centres and what do you notice about how you are trusting yourself to act on your intuition?

Where am I?

Put a stake in the ground and look around. This may seem very simple, but it is, in fact, very powerful and may bring up all kinds of feelings. You must look around you and take it all in. Simply acknowledge that this is where you find yourself. Describe where you find yourself. Consider how this feels. What do you see and what do you know about this place? I do this when I am feeling a bit lost, as well.

Take a look at these life focus areas and mark yourself 0 (it's a bit rubbish) to 10 (yahoo all is well in my world). If you have created your own list, write these out and do a check against them.

• Health and wellbeing

• Learning

• Financial

• Heart and spirit

• Experiences

• Mental/emotional

• Love/Partner

• Family

• Friends

• Mission/Vision

When you consider each of the areas, ask how much energy, time, or the effort you are putting in. What works for me is energy, what might work for you is time and effort. For example, a high number in the finances does not necessarily mean that I'm well off but instead means that I take good care of this area, spend responsibly, etc. The key is to make these your own so that when you undertake a review, you can say mmm last month I was doing great on managing my finances, why aren't I now? You may see that another area has also been neglected, e.g. your health, and this is what has impacted your finances. You will then see that in this case, you must address your health to bring the finances back into balance, and this is your priority

Journal it: Describe where you are. Consider how this feels. What do you see and what do you know about this place? Mark your life focus areas out of ten.

What do you want to create?

Creation is about envisioning. Shortly you will be writing about your perfect day. But first, kick start the process by asking the question, what do I want to create? Often if you can't see it, you can't create it. Think about how it will make you feel when you have what you want. The Universe will respond to the energy of what you put out. This is a question I ask all of my clients when we start working together because it gives me an idea of what is in their hearts, and it starts them wondering what is possible for them. I want to create a community of conscious people who use writing and energy work to discover what they want, who they want to be, heal, find meaning and purpose and go on to inspire others to know what is possible in the world.

Journal it: What do you want to create? How will you feel when you have created it and who will you be?

Your perfect day

When you disconnect from your dreams, life can feel a bit stuck. What would your ‘perfect’ day look like? Start your day with a wander into your dreams and feel, see, hear, smell, taste and sense of your life. Doing this takes me into a new story of self, where I get to focus on what I want, and this feeds my soul.

Write about your perfect day. Write it as if it were already here. When you have written it, leave it for at least an hour to reflect. Remember to write it as if it were already true and here. It is important that you bring this activity alive and make your experience of your perfect day as rich as possible.

Journal it: Write your perfect day story in your journal

Start your day well

Choose one or two of these to help you to create a healthy morning ritual. Be curious, experiment and play and always notice what you feel resistance to.

Three hearts meditation

Do this as you are lying in bed or before you start your journaling practice. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie. Close your eyes. Take some deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, with a sigh and pursed lips. Become aware of your body from head to toe, of your weight, of the heaviness of your limbs. Relax. Scan your body and simply notice. Become aware of any sensations or feelings, but do not judge.

• Place your hands on your heart and breathe slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth

• I invite you to imagine that you have roots growing from your feet into Mother Earth. See them flow all the way into the centre of the Earth where you will find the heart of Mother Earth – connect with her

• Drink this energy in through your roots and into your body

• You are now securely anchored into the ground. Feel yourself becoming grounded

• Bring your attention back to your roots, allow a sense of security, calm and inner peace to come in

• Breathe in goodness and breathe out any negative things that you may be holding inside you. Send it to Mother Earth to be transmuted

• Do this for a few times

• Next, continue to breathe in healing earth energy and extend it from the base of your spine, up through your body, connecting with your heart

• Breathe in and out a few times, feel yourself becoming centred

• On your next breath, take your awareness out through the top of your head, into the heavens and the heart of consciousness and breathe in pure white light

• Flood your body with the pure white light

• Breathe out anything that does not serve you, that you may be holding inside you

• Do this for a few times

• Bring your attention back to your heart. Simply be aware. Feel, see, or sense the energy in this area. Look around, what do you notice? What messages are you getting? What images do you see? What are you sensing?

• Take a releasing breath and come back into the room

Journal it: What do you notice after you have practiced this?

Balancing chakra meditation

Find a comfortable place to sit or lie. Close your eyes. Take some deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, with a sigh. Become aware of your body from head to toe, of your weight, of the heaviness of your limbs. Relax. Scan your body and simply notice. Become aware of any sensations or feelings, but do not judge.

I invite you to imagine that you have roots growing from your feet into the heart of Mother Earth. See them flow all the way into the centre of the Earth where there is a pot of grounding and healing energy. Drink this energy in through your roots and into your body. You are now securely anchored into the ground. Feel yourself becoming grounded. Bring your attention back to your root chakra, allow a sense of security, calm and inner peace to come in.

Imagine a shaft of light extending from the base of your spine and travelling into the centre of the earth, to your core essence and the pot of grounding and healing energy. Breathe in goodness and breathe out any negative things that you may be holding inside you. Send it to Mother Earth to be transmuted. Do this for a few times.

Next, continue to breathe in healing earth energy and extend it from the base of your spine, up through your body and into each of your chakras, balancing each as you go and out through the top of your head, into the heavens and the heart of consciousness and breathe in pure white light. Flood your body with the pure white light. Breathe out anything that does not serve you, that you may be holding inside you. Do this for a few times.

Bring your attention back to your heart chakra. Simply be aware. Feel, see, or sense the energy in this area. Look around, what do you notice?

• What messages are you getting?

• What images do you see?

• What are you feeling?

• What are you sensing?

• What do you just know?

• What do you feel gratitude and appreciation for?

Take as long as you like, and when you feel grounded, centred and balanced, you can start to write in your journal. When you have finished writing, breathe love into your heart chakra, around your body and chakras, back to your heart and out through your heart into the world. As you go about your day, remember that you are surrounded by love and can breathe that in and out into the world whenever you need to.

As you become comfortable with connecting with your chakras, start to feel into your other chakras in a more curious way. By that I mean, perhaps take a bit more time to notice, or have a few more conversations with them, play with the energy and have fun. Choose a different chakra each day and see what comes up for you.

When you connect with your chakras, you will get clues about how you are feeling and this is a wonderful way to understand what is going on a great step towards healing your anxiety.

Journal it: Start each day by meeting one of your chakras. Ask these questions:

• What do you want me to know?

• What do I feel, see, sense or know?

• What do I learn about myself?

Metta meditation

The Dhammapada, which is a collection of Buddha’s sayings, says, “Hatred cannot coexist with love and kindness. It dissipates when supplanted with thoughts of love and compassion.”

The loving-kindness or Metta meditation is a powerful and seemingly simple meditation that enables us to foster love, affection, appreciation and kindness towards ourselves, others and the world. With this meditation, there are no expectations, it is a process to enjoy, where you let go, let love and let flow. We start with ourselves because if we cannot love ourselves, how can we love others. I am sure that you will find it healing and calming.

The way that I use it is to focus on me first so that I reach a place of love and appreciation for me as I go about my day.

When I first started this practice, I was surprised that the husband I left after discovering his double life was easy to pass loving kindness on to. However, the long term partner before was difficult and brought some feelings of anger. I stuck at it and slowly and believe me it was slow, I eventually let go.

When it came to people that I had a difficult time with I chose to reframe. I didn’t need them in my life and go to lunch with them, but I could choose to see them through the lens of love and know that harbouring unkind feelings towards them was hurting me more.

Sending love to the world is far more manageable. Although I did feel helpless because I couldn’t stop all of the cruelty that I was witness to. What I could do was to send my love out and release it to a higher power who would know where to send it.

Read through the meditation and practice in a way that works for you, always starting with and including you.

Word of the day

How do you want to feel today? This is a simple way to start your day and is great for those people who think that they don’t have time to journal. Write a word and then repeat it to yourself as the day progresses.

At the end of the day, reflect in your journal about how it went. Did you feel resistance? Did it work well for you? Was it easy to change state from feeling anxious to how this word might make you feel? What did you learn?

Use the attached journal to build up your morning and evening practice.

• Word of the day

• Affirmation

• Affirmation turned into a question

• Gratitude

• Reflections

Affirmations

Affirmations are things that you affirm to be true, in other words, positive statements. These statements describe something positive that you want to achieve. They are usually short sentences and are something that you can easily repeat during the day. What they do is to tell your unconscious mind that something is real. Your unconscious mind will see these positive statements, and it will be triggered into action. Try this – I have a beautiful smile. With any luck, you immediately smiled and forgot that perhaps you didn’t like your teeth, for example. It’s that simple and so infectious.

When you repeat affirmations, your mind finds these motivating and inspiring and trots off to obey you. Like the excellent computer that it is, it will embed these programs into its every day ‘you’ code, and it becomes true.

Affirmations are lovely for designing and building new habits, changing thoughts and beliefs and for healing the body. Two of my big affirmations or mantras as they are also called when I was healing my spine was, I have strong, healthy bones, and my bones are healed. I would write these on my fridge with magnetic letters.

Surprisingly people use affirmations every day without realising it. Usually, these are the not so useful ones. You may have heard others talk about limiting beliefs? That’s what these are. You tell yourself that you are can’t do or be something often enough your mind says oke doke, I’ll add that to the program, and it will be true, and before you know it you can’t do those things, or you procrastinate. Call something to mind right now that you know you always say you can’t do, what if you said I can? Feels weird, right? It does take practice. One of my favourite journaling exercises is to turn I can't into I can. It is very revealing.

What we know about negative thinking is that it reinforces an internal belief that we can’t change. This means that we are almost destined to continue to repeat what might be potentially self-destructive behaviours. This leads to a vicious circle of more yukky unhelpful thinking. Take a moment to imagine (see, sense, feel or know) how your life might be if you turned these around and used affirmations to reinforce the more positive aspects of who you are.

It’s all about choice. You can choose to change your thinking or not. Ok, I know that years of negative programming can mean that you have a bit more work to do. But here’s the secret sauce, while you may struggle to start off with, guess what, it won’t take long before you are smiling to yourself as you catch those words daring to come out. Soon you will find yourself looking in the mirror and saying yes, I know I did it again, here’s what I meant to say. At least this is what I do. I find staring at myself in the eyes and confessing rather amusing, and it really gives me the kick that I need.

When I worked in an office and found myself in a situation that meant I was repeating negative stuff, I’d head off the bathroom and look myself in the eye and say something positive. I’d also pull faces, as long as no one else was around. The face pulling was to make me laugh and then I could say an affirmation, anchor it in and go back to face the day.

Journal it: Ask yourself right now what would it be like if I told myself positive affirmations more often? How would it be if I did this daily? What is the first affirmation that I would choose? Write it out and say it. How does that feel?

Use the attached journal to build up your morning and evening practice.

• Word of the day

• Affirmation

• Affirmation turned into a question

• Gratitude

• Reflections

Gratitude

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

After affirmations, I like to add in the practice of gratitude. Combined these help to get you connected to your heart, help you to change perspective and allow you to powerfully reframe your life.

What do you think of when you hear the word gratitude? That you need to be grateful for what you have? Perhaps you see it as a fashionable practice? A way to remember to say thank you for what you have? Something else?

Gratitude is our way of saying thank for something we value, for blessings, miracles and unexpected gifts. It’s a feeling that emanates from the heart and therefore from a place of love. It helps you to connect with spirit, divine inner wisdom and consciousness. It also keeps you grounded in the real world.

Every culture in the world has a word for thank you. It is often a word that we take for granted. Consider when you go for a meal, and the waiter or waitress places your food in front of you, I assume you would automatically say thank you. Just as you would if someone held a door open. What about when you receive a gift?

Gratitude is saying thank you and appreciating your gifts, no matter where these come from. They could be innate gifts that you take for granted, e.g. the way that your body knows how to heal, the gifts from Mother Nature, gifts of kindness from friends and strangers, the gift of love from your dogs, a present for your birthday, and any gift that arrives unexpectedly.

Gratitude is a feeling that comes from the heart and reaches all parts of your body. Of course, it is also a choice, you can choose to be grateful for what you have, or you can take it for granted and assume you will always have it – but you wouldn’t do that, would you?

Gratitude is an attitude – a way of being where you do not take things for granted, and it shows up in the way that you are. Gratitude creates connections – within and with everything around you. It strengthens the bond you have with your mind, body, spirit and soul and with others that you meet. It creates a powerful energetic resonance.

What do you notice about the way your life changes when you express gratitude for what you have? What do you notice about others? Can you even tell if someone practices gratitude? People who practice gratitude are often generous and the kind of people who do things like random acts of kindness without any expectation of getting something back. I think what I notice about others is that they seem to be humble, kind, generous, content and have an air of inner peace.

Your gratitude journal

As you go about your day, engage your five senses as often as possible so that you become aware of the things you can feel grateful for and appreciate. Then take a moment to be present to each element as you notice it and become aware of your feelings. Also go deeper and fully understand what has been made available to you. Remember your affirmation and reflect on this. When it comes to gratitude, write anything from the mundane, material to the magnificent, while focusing on the heart chakra area – also remember to connect to your roots.

Challenges and lessons

What challenges and lessons came up from the things you felt gratitude for. In writing this, it will open your awareness to the deeper meaning of gratitude.

Gifts

What gifts did the things you are grateful for, plus the challenges and lesson? Why do you consider them to be gifts?

Appreciation

Remember to consider the source of your gratitude and appreciate the abundance that is coming into your life. Regular gratitude and appreciation will rev up your energy and help you to create a more loving and fulfilling life.

Journal it: When you begin your gratitude practice recall what you have noticed during the day or week. When you are ready, write at least three things that you are grateful for stated in the present tense. State I am grateful for… For example:

• I am grateful that it is safe to love me

• I am grateful that I am surrounded by beautiful and loving friends and family

• I am grateful for my healthy boundaries and kind heart

When you have finished writing what you are grateful for breath in love from your root chakra, up your body and into your heart and connect to your appreciation.

The roots of your gratitude

When you start your gratitude practice, consider the roots of your gratitude. Take a few moments to connect to what you are grateful for and follow the pathway or story. You will be fascinated by what comes up. It’s important as you follow the roots to stay out of the story and to become a witness to what you observe. You may see, feel or sense memories, images, feelings, sounds, smells or tastes. Make a note and use them to learn from. As you consider what you are grateful for you can also focus on what you need day to day in order to survive and thrive. When you feel grounded and safe, you will feel confident that the Universe is fully supporting your needs.

The heart of your gratitude

Next, bring your heart into your gratitude practice. It’s important as you connect with your heart, as this will enable your heart to open and to fully feel appreciation. You can do this with the three hearts meditation. Take as long as you like, and when you feel connected, you can start to write what you are grateful for today. When you have finished writing what you are grateful for, breathe out love from your heart.

As you become comfortable with connecting with the roots and heart of your gratitude, start exploring your gratitude in a more curious way. By that I mean, perhaps take a bit more time to notice, or have a few more conversations with your heart, play with the energy and have fun.

Remember to combine your gratitude practice with any of the other practices described.

Use the attached journal to build up your morning and evening practice.

• Word of the day

• Affirmation

• Affirmation turned into a question

• Gratitude

• Reflections

Setting an intention

What better way to start your journaling practise than to greet your journal. We do these prompts to bring super positive energy to your journal. I believe that journals are living things and need to be set up to receive whatever is coming over its life. This is foundational journaling magic. As you start to do more writing and reflecting in your journal, you need to consider how to bring magic to your daily practice.

Bring energy and intentions to your journal

All of my journals are living breathing beings that hold my vibration and essence. Before I use a journal, I want to bless it and create intentions for it. The simplest way to do this is to hold it in your hands and breathe love into it. Go to the first page of your journal and write your intentions. I also colour in a hand mandala and write my intentions and affirmations around it.

Your intentions

Dear Universe,

My intention for this short journey is...[add in your intentions]

I am open to discovering all that I am on the way to getting what I want

I am fully open to receiving all of the abundance that the Universe has to offer me

I am an open channel for spirit to work with me for the highest good of all

All my love [your name]

Sign and date the page. Say your intention(s) out loud.

If you have white sage, you could also cleanse your journal.

Go to the first page of your journal, draw around your hand and set your intentions inside your hand.

Journal it: Do the drawing, bringing your energy to the page and set your intentions and then reflect on what comes up for you.

Setting your healing intentions

Healing cannot begin until you have clearly identified what you need to heal. Daily journaling will help to unlock what these areas might be. You will start to notice themes in your writing as your unconscious mind starts to reveal itself, and it is often not what you thought it might be. Start by asking yourself - What do I want to heal?

Next, Draw what you want to heal. This could be a stick person or some other drawing, doodle or scribble. (It will all make sense)

This acts as prompt to your unconscious mind to search and find what it is you really need to heal.

We want to connect the body and mind in this activity, as we know that mind and body are one.

Remember that you cannot heal experiences, but you can change the way in which you view them, and you can make choices about how you will react or behave next time. What you can heal is you.

Journal it: Ask what you want to heal. Reflect. Draw it. Write out your healing intentions. Are there any conflicts between what you thought you wanted to heal and what has come out through your writing or drawing?

Look in the mirror and smile

It is well known that a smile will change how you feel like nothing else. When I take my dogs for a walk, I make a point to smile at anyone I meet. Generally, they smile back. It makes such a difference. Take the time to smile at yourself and watch your mood lift.

Even if you think you look a tad bedraggled and perhaps your mood is not the greatest, do it and your day will change.

During the day

These are things that you can practice at any time. The key is to try them one at a time. Choose one and see how it goes. Then when you find yourself in a situation where you need to change state and relax or find a place of inner peace choose a tool.

The right environment

A sacred space is a place that you come to relax and write. For me, it is my bedroom, and on a particular sofa in what I call my cwtchy room and my terrace which looks over the hills. These spaces work because of the feeling I get when I am in them. Mostly though I write in bed. If I did not live alone, I would find another space to make just mine as I think it is essential to have an area that is only yours, feels comfortable and the energy is protected.

Consider what items you would like in your space. I have a few crystals by my bed and lots of hearts. I have a small altar with a picture of my dad to bring in the divine masculine, some fairies for earth energy, a water nymph, crystals, candles and cards. These are objects that hold a special meaning.

The colour of my space is also important. My bedroom is soft, the cwtchy room is quite vibrant yet feels soft, and the terrace brings the gentleness of Mother Nature in.

When you have your space, set an intention for it and smudge it and you with white sage and clear the energy. Once you have done this, allow your space to evolve over time. The most important thing is to create the right vibration and energy to manifest magic from.

Journal it: Describe your sacred space and the feelings you want to evoke. What special items would you have in there?

The space within

It is a good idea before you start to write that you take a personal inventory. That means focusing on you, your body and your inner space. Do not change anything; just notice what you notice.

Breathing and meditation

We will take a closer look at breathing and meditation later. To create the right energy connecting to our breath is vital. Meditation is something you may or may not already do. It is also very powerful and will enable you to find your way to your heart and hear the whispers of your soul. Take a few deep breaths now and ahhhhh let go. Feels good, right?

Body awareness

Your body is also a sacred space. It is after all where you live. It pays to become body aware so that you never again miss the nuances of communication and connection. Body awareness is where you sit quietly for a few moments and become aware of your body. Try it now. Take your attention to your toes, now let your awareness move up your body through every single part. Feel which parts feel uncomfortable and which parts feel comfortable. Breathe into each uncomfortable part and let it go. You could imagine that the awkward bits are a piece of newspaper, which is old news. Scrunch it up and throw it away.

What about the mental pictures that you have? What do you have now? Where are they? How far away are they from you? Are they in colour or in black-and-white? What do these pictures mean to you? How might you interpret them? These will come to you at all times of the day, simply make a note.

As you sit quietly, what sounds do you notice? Are there sounds in the room? Can you hear noises in the distance? Are you talking to yourself? What sort of things are you saying? What are you filtering in or out?

What about how balanced you feel? You need to stand up for this one. Place your feet hip-distance apart, let your hands hang by your sides, close your eyes and feel a sense of where you are in the room. Are you leaning to one side? Are you falling forwards or backwards? How can you rebalance you? Get a sense of balance and then open your eyes.

This is a great exercise to do when you're feeling a little bit disoriented or maybe when you're about to start reflecting; it is a great starting point.

Sitting down, close your eyes

Ask yourself what your current state of mind is

Ask yourself what your most dominant emotion is

Where do you feel it in your body?

Put your hand on the place that you feel it

What does this tell you?

Come back to the present and write

Journal it: Describe your inner sacred space and the feelings you want to evoke.

Take breaks

Work in 90-minute blocks. Set a time or use something like Brain.FM. Choose a program and when it ends, do something else. This stops you overwork and get overwhelmed, and you get a change to change state and so something nice like go for a walk.

Exercises to connect you with your breath

The vagus nerve

Think of the vagus nerve like a communications superhighway. It carries information between the brain and your internal organs which then controls the body's responses in times of rest and relaxation. Which is why in meditation, you will be asked to place your tongue behind your teeth to calm down your chattering mind. Try it now, it will feel weird, but notice how you calm down.

Box breathing

This is super easy and very calming. Breathe in for four, hold a full breath for four, breath out for four, hold an empty breath for four.

Prana breathing

Prana breathing or the’ complete breath’, uses the full capacity of the lungs.

· Place the hands on the lower abdomen, just below the navel

· Inhale breath through the nose (both nostrils) into the lower belly, the hands should move slightly out, as the diaphragm is pushing the organs in the abdominal region down and slightly out

· Now the lower abdomen is full of air, continue the breath in an upward motion to the upper chest

· Stop when the upper chest is full of breath for a second or two

· Exhale slowly from the chest out through the nose

· Stop for several seconds with empty lungs before inhaling a new breath

· Repeat this cycle as necessary. This constitutes one breathing cycle

Mindful breathing to soothe an issue

Get comfortable and close your eyes, take a gentle breath, feeling the air going in through your nostrils, into your body, and out of your nose. Connect your roots to Mother Earth and feel connected and grounded. Breathe in from your roots and into your heart.

Breathe in, say, ‘Breathing in, I am calm and connected to the feelings I am experiencing now.’ Breathe out, say, ‘Breathing out, I am calm and connected to the feelings I am experiencing now.’

Allow yourself to feel the feelings; let them be there. Open your awareness to the breath going in, and the breath going out; only focus on this: breath in, breath out. Let the breath take its course, and don’t control it in any way; just notice it.

Let your in-breath and your out-breath fill your mind. That is being mindful of your breath. Keep noticing your in-breath, your out-breath and feel the breath soothing you, comforting you and nurturing you. Feel the inner peace that this brings.

Now surrender the issue that is concerning you to this inner peace, let it flow and let the problem go. Keep breathing, noticing your in-breath and your out-breath… When you are ready, put pen to paper.

When the worry or the feeling comes back into your mind and troubles you, repeat the process, noticing and feeling your in-breath and your out-breath, while letting your breath fill your mind. Keep gently repeating this process whenever the worry or the feeling comes back until eventually, it fades away.

Spirit connection breathing exercise

Put your feet on the floor, if you can. If you have your legs up, just make sure your legs are uncrossed. Sit upright, put your shoulders back and let them relax. Notice where there is any tension, perhaps in your jaw and let go.

Imagine that roots are growing from your feet, send them into Mother Earth and feel them lock into the centre of the earth. Now breathe in from the centre of the earth up through your feet, and up to your heart. Now put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and blow out with a sigh through your mouth. As you blow out, pull your belly in. It’s ok you will get used to it. Do this a few times.

Next, put one hand on your heart and one and your belly. Feel for a heart connection. The hand on your heart will centre you and the one on your belly will help you to ground. Open your mouth wide (you may hear a little crack) and breathe in. Then breathe out through your mouth with an ahh. Do this a few times, and then you are ready to write.

Choose the breathing exercises that most resonate with you. The most important thing is to connect to your breath, ground with your roots, centre at your heart and inner wisdom before you put pen to paper.

Chatting with your most important person

You are the most important person in your life. In this life, you are here to learn some lessons and find your gifts. Life can be challenging, but in every challenge, you overcome, you can add another piece of gold to your treasure chest. You will learn more about you and how amazing you are. Now is the time to let affirmations into your life and tell yourself stuff that is true. It is vital that you say simple but powerful things so that you become them. Doing this will help you to form great habits.

In your head right now, you will be having a conversation. I’m not in your head, but I can guess some of the things that you are saying. My invitation is that you learn to observe through journaling the not so great conversations, tell them to move over and begin a more positive conversation instead. Turn your mind chatter into affirming positive thoughts and see what happens.

When my ug moments come, because let’s face it life is not sitting on clouds and being fed nectar of the heavens, I chat to myself. What I do is to look at things from many angles after I have had a paddy and sworn a lot. I look for facts and ask myself how I can reframe what is going on.

In my journal, when I write these things, I consider the kind of language, words and stories that I use and what these are telling me. When you start to notice yours, you can choose to make changes. After a while, you will see them as soon as they come up in everyday life. When your new language comes up as part of your usual daily chatter, you will soon start smiling and say here I go again and, in that moment, you will be able to choose to say better words to yourself.

I bet you will start to notice lots of ‘youisms’, and you will want to change them because they are now so obvious. It’s ok we all go through this. And guess what you will also start to notice what others say and do too. That can be quite illuminating. Notice how you feel when you observe friends and family and the things, they repeat out loud.

Journal it: What is your most important person saying to you? What repeated words do you use? What do you notice about your language and what would you like to change?

Changing the script

You know that your mind can program in negative and positive thoughts and beliefs. You know that you have choices. You also know that it takes time. And you know that changing the way that you say or think things changes the script (think of a play) in your mind is amazing. You have the power to reprogram your mind. Because scripts are programs. Running a script, programs and commands your mind to do and behave in a particular way. I am using the word script here because most people watch TV and movies and know that the actors have a script so that they know how to behave. They are following their lines. That’s what you do too.

Have you noticed that when you watch a movie, you are affected emotionally when you see certain things? The visuals, sounds and behaviours will trigger you. You might cry at a happy ending or scream in terror when something horrible happens. The scripts create images which trigger feelings and emotions.

Now let's take a book, it has a script, but no pictures. Instead, you create the images in your head, and you feel emotions as you read the words. This is what is happening in your mind. You are running scripts; you will see images and feel emotions and then act in a particular way. This acting forms habits, patterns of thinking and ways of being.

Repeating positive affirmations helps to change the script in your mind so that the book of your life can be rewritten. Imagine what you might change if a movie came on, and you have the power to change the course of action the main players take. Good stuff, eh?

Journal it: What scripts are you running. Write them out and then change them, as you might rewrite the script for a film. How does that feel? What do you learn about yourself?

Listen to your body and eat what it needs

Start slowly, tune in and ask what you would like? Ask from the heart. Sometimes the head will get in the way, and your craving for crap will scream at you. Breathe into it and ask again. Remember, to state because I love myself, I will and then do the right thing for you.

I find that every day my body will say what she needs. This didn’t happen overnight, it took time. I make up cake recipes based on what my body says it wants.

Create a diet for life

· First of all no following faddy diets

· Change one thing at a time

· Drink water properly

· Get rid of processed sugar and other processed foods

No one is saying that you have to go vegan or vegetarian, but consider a more conscious diet. When you cook from scratch, you can pour love into the whole process, and it will stop being a chore and become a loving act.

Manage your intolerances

Start to understand which foods react to you and begin to eliminate them from your diet. This is a part of listening to your bodies innate intelligence. As rubbish goes and higher vibration nourishment enters your system, you find that you have more energy. Because you love yourself, you stop whining about being tired (or whatever it is) and eat to create energy. Start a food, mood, energy and sleep journal.

Start a food and mood journal

Download the journal and use it for at least 7 days. What do you learn? You can also get this on Amazon mybook.to/FoodMoodJournal

Work with a nutritionist

If you find that you are unable to make the changes on your own, work with a nutritionist like Mel Wakeman of Wakeman Nutrition.

Resistance

During your process of growth and change, you will experience setbacks. You can sometimes feel discouraged or frustrated about your progress in managing your anxiety. When this happens, that is when your attitude, beliefs, and choices matter the most. Trusting in the healing process, believing that everything you are doing is for the best, will ensure that you are on the right path, even when you experience setbacks. When you start to feel doubt, remind yourself that what you send out comes back to you. I get out my journal, declutter and let go. This is where I spend some time writing everything out of my system – the good, the not so good and all of the ideas that I have. I also practice Tonglen which you will meet in a moment

Now that you have got to this point, it’s time to let go of control. Trying to control some things is like trying to control the weather – it’s not possible. Put in the right ingredients and let go and let love. Go with the flow, as best you can.

This is not a time to think I’ll be happy when this is about noticing in the moment that something is stopping you and to then choose to do something different. Everything starts within you.

Consider this, like attracts like. If you want more, for example, groundedness in your life, ask yourself how you can connect, ground and centre yourself more? If you’re going to stop feeling unsafe, how can you create a feeling of stability? If you want more balance, how can you be more balanced? If you want more calm, how do you create it?

Start today with doing things that help you to feel the way you want to. So if feeling strong, safe, secure, balanced and nourished is in the cards, what is one thing that you can do today? One thing that I love doing is going for a walk and sitting and staring at what is around me. While there I practise sending roots from my feet deep into the heart of Mother Earth and feeling anchored.

How does it feel to just sit in nature? Is there another time in your life when you felt like this? Connect to those memories – these are great to pop into your journal. Remind yourself of the emotions and feelings that surround your wonderful feel-good memories. These are creating anchors for you.

Do you notice any resistance to these feel-good moments? I like it when resistance comes up as it is a chance to reflect and to consider why. I am always grateful for the niggles as this is another opportunity to let go, let love and let the energy flow.

When you think about your resistance, is it based on a belief. Are you holding onto hope that good things don’t or can’t happen easily for you? This is often linked to fear, which will cause stress in your body and send the wrong signals out.

You may worry that you will never have the security you crave because [you fill in the blanks]. That’s why I bring any resistance back to my heart and practise self-compassion and kindness. When you love you, have healthy foundations and are grateful for all that you have and are, you will be feel super grounded and ready to take on the world. Keep remembering that like attracts like.

Send your roots (from the bottom of your feet) into the richness and heart of Mother Earth and draw that energy into your heart and notice what is coming up for you, say a silent prayer of thanks and then start to let go of your resistance. Bring your breath up from you’re the heart of Mother Earth, into your roots and to your heart and then take a big letting go breath. Notice how your body relaxes.

Journal it: Part 1 - Think of a time when you felt resistance to something. How did you know that you were resisting it? Where did/do you feel it in your body? What was your response to it? What happened?

Part 2 - Write about a time you worked through your resistance. What did you learn?

Noticing resistance

When you find yourself procrastinating or making excuses, you are resisting. When these things happen, acknowledge what is happening and ask “why.” Answering and confronting these reasons is a significant step to continuing on the positive path to getting what you want.

In many ways, worrying is a kind of resistance that can become counterproductive to your healing process. When you indulge worry and anxiety, you allow yourself to consider the possibility of failure, to doubt yourself. You are telling the universe that you believe something bad is going to happen, that you do not think you deserve or will achieve success or find your inner peace. When this happens, you will get back the same energy you send out.

Worry is a way of visualizing adverse outcomes. You imagine all the things that might go wrong, and worry influences all your thoughts and emotions. As you know, it even affects your body. That means you’re sending these negative messages out and makes you focus on what is wrong or could go wrong. You are more likely to see problems than possibilities, which can lead to the issues becoming a reality.

Journal it: What do I worry about? How will I counter worried thoughts? List all the positive possibilities and outcomes in your life

Tonglen. Pronounced Tong-Len

Tonglen is an ancient Buddhist practice, which seems rather backwards. You breathe in dark and breath out light. I use this when I feel resistance and anxiety, it helps me to ground and centre.

• Tonglen starts with a counterintuitive instruction: pay full attention to your resistance (discomfort) (physically and emotionally) and breathe more and more of it in with each inhale.

• We are using it to notice how we are resisting the things that we most desire.

• Notice curiously any feelings or sensations that come up as you think about what you are resisting. Just observe and notice.

• Then you exhale love, kindness and compassion.

• Silently say your mantra - I wish for all of my dreams to come true - peace - yes, I can.

• Basically, send out the opposite of what you’re breathing in.

This act is breathing in what you want to cleanse and sending out love to you and the world. Tonglen teaches you how to hold space for both the uncomfortable and the peaceful. Instead of thinking that you have to resist and not feel your emotions, Tonglen shows you how to activate connection and compassion for you and the rest of the world. Don't try to make it work - simply flow with it and notice what comes up for you. Try it.

Journal it: Journal about what comes up for you.

Self-talk and soothing statements

If you are anxious, you may sound like you are talking through a cheese grater. There will be a tone to your voice, and you will almost certainly be using the same kind of self-talk statements. Exploring your negative thoughts, triggers, and the way that you talk to yourself will open up a new level of understanding and enable you to reframe and change them.

Negative thoughts and triggers

For years, you have unconsciously trained your brain to think negatively about yourself. At this point, those thoughts come automatically. These questions are designed to help stop those thoughts and allow you to challenge those beliefs. Once you start thinking better about yourself, your confidence will soar.

There are two parts to this – one the questions and then choosing soothing statements when the thought crops up and catches you unaware.

Journal it: Part 1 – sit quietly with these questions and your journal.

· Negative thought:

· What triggered this thought?

· What emotions am I feeling right now while having this thought?

· What am I saying to myself?

· Is this negative thought true or just my opinion?

· Could I be wrong about this?

· How else can I look at this?

· What evidence supports this thought?

· What evidence disputes it?

· Is this negative thought serving a positive purpose in my life? If so, how?

· Is this thought interfering with my inner peace and happiness?

· How can I change this thought into something more positive?

· If someone else had this thought, what would I say to them?

· What would someone else say to me if they knew I was having this thought?

· Is the true reason for this thought because I'm trying to avoid something? If so, what is it? Why am I avoiding/resisting this? How can I address this?

· Am I taking responsibility for something that is not my fault or within my control?

· What is the worst thing that could happen if this thought is true? Could I handle it and how?

· What's the best thing that could happen if this thought is true?

Self-talk statements

When you catch yourself feeling anxious, what kinds of things are you saying to yourself and in what tone of voice? Tone is not what you say more how you say it. Consider these, do you talk to yourself like this?

· Soft and kind

· Harsh/sharp

· Bitter

· Annoyed/angry

· Resigned

· Something else?

Think of something you say to yourself in moments of anxiety, perhaps it’s something like oh you stupid ***! Next, consider the tone you use with yourself? For me, it would be annoyed. What about words like – I can’t take anymore. You may say this in a soft resigned tone.

Spend some time noticing the words that you use in your anxious moments, then consider the tone of voice that you use. What do you notice?

Journal it: Make a list of self-talk statements and the add in the tone of voice that you used. What do you learn?

What is the story behind the voice?

When you talk to yourself, who do you hear? I don’t mean you, I mean perhaps a parent or a teacher. Stop and listen. Who first spoke to you in this way? Or who did you notice speaking to themselves like you do? Remember, as children, we learn from others. And it sticks. Is there a story attached? While you may not want to go in time to events that could be triggering, there is always great insight to be had when you notice where something has come from.

The underlying voice and its story are just waiting to be revealed, and when they do, it’s always a fascinating aha moment.

Journal it: Take some moments to think about who’s voice do you hear and the story that goes with it? Ask yourself, is it really you talking or someone else?

Soothing statements

Now that you understand the way in which you talk to yourself, it’s time to think about how you can change the tone and be kinder to yourself. One of the ways to do this is to take one of your statements and say it in a few different ways, What do you notice about how each feels? And where do you feel it in your body? The next thing to do is to reframe what you are saying to yourself. So if you called yourself a silly ***, you might say it’s ok to feel annoyed when x happens; however, I choose to feel calm and at peace with it and make sure you speak in a soft and kind tone.

Change I can't take it anymore. With, This is uncomfortable, but I can handle it if I take slow and deep breaths. Remember to say it in a soft and kind tone. Or I’ve done this before so I can do it again.

Say to yourself - I am safe, and this will too will pass. I have survived this before. I am just going to let this flow through my body, and be grounded in Mother Earth.

Use your breath, Keep your breath even and free and allow the voice to carry a calming energy through the sentences. Record yourself – this is fascinating. Normally, you only hear yourself through your ears. Listening back to a recording will allow you to hear your true voice. Use the Tonglen exercise or another breathing exercise to help you if anything comes up.

Journal it: Practice with reframing and recording your voice—Journal about what you discover.

54321

54321 is a very popular strategy. Which goes like this:

· 5: Notice FIVE things you see around you

· 4: Notice FOUR things you can touch around you

· 3 Notice THREE things you hear.

· 2: Notice TWO things you can smell

· 1: Notice ONE thing you can taste

Another way to use 54321 is to stop and sing it in your head. This always makes me smile.

Speak to yourself with loving-kindness

Start to notice how you speak to yourself. These words are etched on your body. While you may tattoo yourself with a positive affirmation, you would not dream of writing your words of hatred on you for all to see. Your body can hear your words. Notice what they are and start to change them.

What I find helps me is to keep post-it notes in the kitchen and bathroom and write little love notes to me (see above). I feel fab when I find them (not sure how I could have forgotten I wrote them) and they help reinforce a positive self-image and love. When I find the notes, I say out loud what is on them. You could also write – speak to myself with loving kindness just to remind yourself to stop and do just that.

I also start the day by looking in the mirror and saying something loving to me. And whenever I catch myself about to criticise me, I turn it around.

Speak to yourself with loving-kindness

Start to notice how you speak to yourself. These words are etched on your body. While you may tattoo yourself with a positive affirmation, you would not dream of writing your words of hatred on you for all to see. Your body can hear your words. Notice what they are and start to change them.

What I find helps me is to keep post-it notes in the kitchen and bathroom and write little love notes to me (see above). I feel fab when I find them (not sure how I could have forgotten I wrote them) and they help reinforce a positive self-image and love. When I find the notes, I say out loud what is on them. You could also write – speak to myself with loving kindness just to remind yourself to stop and do just that.

I also start the day by looking in the mirror and saying something loving to me. And whenever I catch myself about to criticise me, I turn it around.

Mind Mapping

When I want to explore an idea, thought or feeling, I simply create a mind map. A mind map is a collection of thoughts around a central idea. It is quick and simple and serves to ignite my imagination. I also use it for creating plans and developing ideas.

5-word mind-map

This is very simple and is similar to the mind mapping idea, except the word is a word for today. You write a word in the middle of the page and then allow five other words to come and on each branch five and five more until you run out. Then you can write about what comes up for you.

Journal it: Pick a word that describes how you want to feel today and explore what word associations come up for you. Next, freewrite for 10 minutes about what these words mean to you. Later, when tucked up in bed and writing about your day, reflect on what happened.

Your connection with feelings of peace

Journaling brings peacefulness

Is your body, mind and soul been craving inner peace? Perhaps you don't feel peaceful for a lot of the time, and you want to change this.

What I wonder would inner peace give you?

Do you wonder how other people seem to exude this sense of patience and peace, while you're feeling all tangled up inside?

Does peace only come in tiny moments? Does it only come for short periods? Perhaps when it does, it is joyful and fleeting.

If you are anything like me, you will want to preserve that feeling, hold onto it and welcome more peace to your whole being for much longer periods?

Peace comes from within.

We need to open ourselves up and set an intention/affirmation that we want inner peace. How about 'I am open and ready to welcome inner peace into my life today'?

Let's begin by exploring how you are feeling in the current moment.

Stop what you're doing. Stand up slowly from your chair. Take a few breaths and your breath flowing through you. This is your life force!

How does this simple act of putting your body upright on two legs make you feel? Take a few moments to scan your body. Do this without judgement. What sensations are you experiencing as life flows through you?

Are you currently relaxed and present? Or are you tense, eager or even anxious to move on to the next thing?

Feeling peaceful is as much a physical sensation as it is an emotional state. Sensations and emotions share a causal relationship.

Notice your breathing. Do your breaths come slowly, from your centre? Or do you take short, rapid breaths? We shallow-breathe when we're stressed or tense - which is certainly the opposite of feeling peaceful!

Pay attention to the sensations of your fingers and toes. What do you notice? Any tingling, hot or cold?

What about your head? Wiggle your eyebrows up and down. Tilt your head from side to side, not too fast. How does that feel?

Are you peaceful, or is there still a restlessness inside of you?

Stretch, yawn, wiggle that body. The simple act of stretching our bodies releases inner tension from our muscles. Tension makes us feel stressed, tight. Tense feelings affect our thoughts and reactions.

Ask yourself a simple question when you feel tense, and the answer will be very different as compared to when you feel relaxed and at-ease.

Are you that tense person? Be honest. Where do you notice the tension in your body? For me, it is often in my jaw and shoulders - which is why I have a weekly massage, meditate and walk the dogs 4 times a day...

Let's work on changing this to find more peace, and that peace may find you.

Exercise: Become the tree

While standing, assume an upright posture. Straighten up. This simple act often tells us that we have not been holding our bodies well. Keep your head held high and plant your feet firmly to the Earth. Your feet should be about hip-width apart. Let your breath flow through you.

I invite you to imagine that you have roots growing from your feet into Mother Earth. See them flow all the way into the centre of the Earth where there is a pot of grounding and healing energy. Drink this energy in through your roots and into your body. You are now securely anchored into the ground. Feel yourself becoming grounded.

You are a tree!

Visualise yourself as that mighty tree, connected deep into Mother Earth. Solid, unshakable (well maybe like shake of your branches in the wind), connected to Earth yet rising upward with head held high to the heavens.

Gently roll your shoulders back. Then, softly press your shoulders down toward your hips. Pull your chin in slightly so that your throat aligns with your spine.

Point your tailbone downward with stomach gently pulled in. Inhale, slowly and deeply. Fill your lungs. Exhale mindfully and slowly.

Exhale past the point of thinking you were finished with the exhale.

Now breathe in again, slowly and mindfully. Continue focusing on holding that strong posture, but keep your body fluid as you breathe.

Focus on feeling grounded and connected to Mother Earth. How does that feel? What are your roots drinking in?

Stay connected and breathing for at least a minute. While you do this focus on what peace means to you.

Journal it: The first was to quietly observe our own body sensations and being grounded. Take a moment to write down what you learned.

· How did you feel before you became the tree?

· Were you fretting about something? Worrying that all of your day to day plans must be executed perfectly?

· Did you feel peaceful, or were you more keyed up, thinking about all you still have yet to do?

· Describe the sensations you picked up while being mindful of your breathing and feeling grounded.

· Were your thoughts calmer?

· How was your breathing?

· What sensations do you get from the roots you have sent deep into Mother Earth?

When you leave the house today, you can approach the busyness of your daily life with dread and anxious feelings. Or, you can take a mindful and meaningful approach to creating a most beautiful day for you and everyone you meet.

Sharing daily peace begins with a peaceful feeling from the inside. Breath and ground your way to being at peace! Share that lightness of being with others you meet. Remember to smile...

For the Future:

Going forward, increase peaceful thoughts and feelings from within. Make it a ritual to practice slow, mindful breathing and grounding.

See what a difference a minute calm makes for your feelings of inner peace and wellbeing.

Observe how these simple self-care rituals help you show patience and compassion for others, in the name of being peaceful.

At the end of the day

These are things that you can do to wind your day down.

Mandalas

My life is colourful and magical

The word mandala comes from the ancient Sanskrit language, and it means "circle" or "centre". They have been used for centuries in rituals and for meditation. While they look like interesting shapes, there is much more to a mandala than that. If you look around at nature, you will see that there are all kinds of unusual shapes. Bring a snowflake to mind or a spider's web. These are both intricate and beautiful, and when you look at them, you may find yourself transported into a world of wonder.

Colouring mandalas (or other mandala type images) has been proven to produce a calming effect on the person colouring them in. Journaling and reflective writing have also been shown to have a profound effect on the writer. Putting the two together is incredibly healing. The very act of colouring releases tension and allows your unconscious thoughts to flow. When you then write about what comes up, you will get incredible insights. Then upon reflection, you begin to make sense, see patterns, ways through your problems and onto to solutions, ideas and inspiration.

Combining colouring mandalas with journaling and reflective writing will change your perspective and your life. Then, if you choose, you can make some significant changes based on what you learn.

You will discover mandalas (or other mandala type images) throughout the book alongside an affirmation. These are your pause for thought moments. Coming back to the present and being mindful gives your busy mind a chance to go ahhhh.

Reflective practice and reflection

Reflection is your response to experiences, situations, events or new information and a phase where processing and learning can take place. When you reflect your unconscious mind searches for evidence and analyses it. After which it tries to make meaning and draw conclusions based on the evidence presented. Once you have been able to evaluate what you are reflecting on, you can then decide what's next. Reflection is a powerful learning experience, which is not about sitting in the lotus position omming, though of course, you could. Reflection has a few basic elements: -

• Retelling- state the basic facts (write a journal entry) and consider how you felt about it at the time and how you feel about it now

• Examine – examine and relate the feelings or events to other times when you have felt the same way

• Reflecting – How do you change your behaviours? What possible alternatives, perspectives, meanings, or links can you see?

Reflection, then allows you to further process what you have written so that you can make meaning of your words, make changes, and start the healing process. Reflection is simply a process which enables you to make meaning from your writing, challenge your thinking, learn who you are and gives you the opportunity to make choices about changing the way you behave.

To make sense of your writing, you simply have to leave it. Reflective thinking is about going back and looking at your journal, analysing what you have written, with the goal of making decisions about what to do or what not to do. It is when you do this that you will discover inspiration and clarity.

You can reflect on what you have written at any time. When you come to reflect on your journaling after you have completed all of these prompts, consider how what you have written about has impacted your life, ask these questions.

• What have you learned about you?

• What are your most significant insights?

• What is one thing that you will do differently because of what you have learned?

Focus your reflections on creating inner peace, contentment and feeling happy to be you. Before you start to reflect and write, read through your journal so far, and simply become aware of anything that stands out for you.

Journal it: Take time in the evening to reflect on your day and/or previous journal entries

Giving thanks for your learning

Journaling is a powerful way to learn more about who you are, where you are, what you want, what you want and need to heal and discovering your hearts desires. Today is very simple, my invitation is for you to go back through your journal and look at what you have written and to ask – what have I learned? And to then say thank you for your learning. Place your hands on your journal and say thank you.

Journal it: Go through your journal and read what you have written, what comes up for you, think of lessons, challenges, gifts and learning. Explore what this transformation FEELS like

Working with your heart

At this stage you will be ready to connect with and work with your heart. These exercises in this workbook are designed to support you in finding a place for self-love.