Journey of the Heart: Open Your Heart And Love Yourself

How to get the most from any course

First, you must understand how you like to learn and then plan. You must take action.

Consider how you do things. What I mean by this is - how you do anything is how you do everything. I, for example, like fresh, new and exciting and I like to do things in chunks to conserve my energy. After a period of reflection, I like to tackle the next chunk of work. What about you?

Then

• Familiarise yourself with how this platform works

• Connect with me and ask questions

• Share and support other students

• Get a buddy to work with

• Make a commitment to take the lectures

• Diarise the time to do the work

• Take action

• Have fun

My expectations of you

• You will do something, anything each day, no matter how small

• You will set aside time to write, explore and reflect

• You'll have fun, even when you feel like pulling your hair out

• You will acknowledge what your heart and soul wants to tell you about what you want (and what you need)

How do you like to learn?

I ask this because if you know why, what, how, or what if, you will get much more out of the process of creating a heart connection. Go on, do tell, which are you? Perhaps you are a combination, and you like to learn in a particular order.

Why? People (Approx. 35% of the population)

Why people learn best through discussions. They want to discuss the reasons why specifically so they can find out why something is worth doing. They are unlikely to take action until they’ve explored the reasons for doing so.

What? People (Approx. 22% of the population)

What people learn best from teaching. They want to be taught the information either verbally or be given it on paper. What people are going to be the most satisfied when they are presented with so much information that they can’t keep up. They are likely to take lots of notes and try to get as much of it down as possible.

How? People (approx. 18% of the population)

How people learn best from coaching. They don’t really care about the reasons or the theory – they want to be diving in there and getting their hands dirty. The sooner you have How people doing something and giving them feedback on what they are doing, the happier they will be.

What If? People (approx.. 25% of the population)

What If people learn best from self-discovery. I am never surprised when What If people, after being given clear instructions, go off and do something completely different. They get great pleasure from changing things around, trying out new ways of doing things and trying to get an answer to the question of “I wonder what would happen if I just tried this… or that… or…?”. What If people are great at considering the consequences of what they are doing and testing the boundaries. You can really engage this way of thinking by speculating about the opportunities to embrace and extend what they have learnt about. This is me by the way.

Know what works for you and make your course work for you.

Action it: Head to your calendar and schedule in learning time and journaling time.

Get a journal for the journey

Get a journal just for this heart connection journey. It will prove invaluable to you as you work through the course and later when you come to reflect.

Setting your intention for success

You want to set an intention so that you let your unconscious mind know that you are serious about this stuff.

Grab a cuppa, relax and allow yourself to dream.

Your life will change based on how you approach this journey.

Remember it's not about having stuff, it's who you become on the way to getting what you want.

On the first page of your journal write a short intention note to the Universe.

In the video, I show you a powerful way to set the intentions for a new journal. Have a go it is lots of fun.

How to approach the journaling prompts

What do you want?

Knowing what you want is an important part of creating a heart connection. Often we confuse things with desires. We'll look at hearts desires soon, but right now I would invite you to think about what you want in general.

Know what you want teaches you a lot about who you are. The most important things in life for me are that I remember to:

• Love and appreciate me

• Live with love, kindness and compassion

• Stay happy to be me

• Maintain balance and my inner peace

• Be the CEO of my life

• Do no harm to others - always do things for the highest good of all

• Consider the impact my actions have on myself and the wider world

• And make sure my dogs are happy and safe

So, when I am in alignment with my hearts desires, know that they are for my highest good and are from my heart. I take daily action towards getting what I want.

What do you want?

We will look at what you want later. Just for now think about what you want and how it will make you feel when you get it.

Let's say you want a new job. You are stuck in a rut and you want to turn what you love into a business.

I was once in a position where a contract had gone horribly wrong and I was owed thousands. My partner was unemployed and not in a good place mentally.

I wanted to be paid, but realistically that was not going to happen and the energy of suing someone with everything going on was too much for me.

I decided that I wanted a job and out of the two of us, I was more likely to get one. But it couldn't be any old job, it had to be inspiring and fulfilling - yeah I know right...

I started off by just thinking about what kind of job I would like and how that would make me feel. I considered how that would change the energy at home and how all of that would impact his family and how I showed up in the world.

I got a great job. It taught me a lot, but it was not a job I loved, but it was a great stepping stone and I shall forever be grateful for that job and the people I worked with.

Over to you.

Journal it: What do you want and how will you feel when you get it?

Self-care and self-love

Self-care and self-love are probably terms that we’ve heard before. But maybe you are a little unsure of the difference.

Self-care encompasses all the things we do to care for ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The dictionary says that self-love is the instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being, regard for or love of oneself, and the belief you hold that you are a valuable and worthy person. And, of course, the love of oneself.

Self-love is all about unconditionally accepting yourself and knowing that you are the love you have been looking for.

Self-love is not negative or selfish, quite the contrary.

When you love yourself, you will take care of your self-care. But... Self-love needs to start somewhere, and it is often easier to start by doing something caring for yourself each day than diving right into loving yourself. As you get used to caring for yourself and attending to your needs, self-love and the all-important heart connection becomes easier.

When you create a better heart connection, your energy will change, and you will feel better able to go after your hearts desires.

Nobody can love you until you love yourself is a quote that pops up everywhere. The thing is, it isn’t true. We all love all kinds of people, and I’m betting that not everyone loves themselves. And we certainly don’t love them any the less.

Self-care and move us towards self-love and that wonderful feeling of being at peace with ourselves. So this is where we will start.

Self-Care Assessment

Taking care of yourself better is not only important to you but also to everyone around you. When you aren’t practising self-care every day, you probably not as healthy as you could be, nor are you in your heart space. This means you aren’t at your best and you aren’t able to help others much.

To help you optimize and/or increase your self-care fill in each section of this self-care assessment sheet to give you an idea of what you need to work on, to feel better yourself and to be there for others.

For each of the following, rate how well you rate on each item. Use the number system with 1 being poor and 5 being the best. Write your score in the line by the item. Then total up the numbers in each section and put it on the total scoreline by the section title.

Use this to raise your awareness.

Journal it: What do you learn?

Your self-care planner

Print this off and keep it in a folder and keep track of your goals and progress.

What you could do instead of printing it out is to write one thing that you will do each day to take care of yourself.

Take a look at the planner and choose the things that you will track. For example, at the beginning of every month, you can set some goals and then as I said, do one thing daily towards your self-care.

Meet your energy centres

In this lecture, you will be meeting your energy centres for the first time. Energy is everywhere and everything. We are energy.

Our body contains many energy centres, they are in healing circles more commonly known as chakras. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. I like to refer to our vortexes of energy as simply energy centres. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your energy centres are mini data hubs where everything that has happened to you is stored.

Each centre houses specific experiences, and these experiences are unique to you. How cool is that to have your own mini 'you' library stored in areas of your body?

Just as we have a physical body, these energy centres can be likened to our spiritual body. Each centre is associated with a different set of organs and systems. They are also connected to the endocrine and nervous system. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and how balanced you are.

They contain your life and body codes. The health and energetic vibration of each centre is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts, feelings and emotions. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

We are working with the heart chakra/energy centre.

The heart is the gateway to all of the other energy centres. As you work through the course you may find things coming up that are related to the other energy centres. The workbook attached will tell you a little about each so that you will know where to take your breath and heart.

What I do is simply take my attention, breath and heart to one of the other centres when something comes up and I send love and healing into it. Later I'll explore what comes up in my journal.

Let’s connect to your heart

Place both hands on your heart, breathe and tune in. What do you pick up? Don’t worry if nothing happens. This all comes with time. For now, tune into your heart and ask, ‘what do you want me to know?’ Who knows what will come up…

• Rub your hands together quickly and generate some heat

• Then send roots from your feet to the heart of Mother Earth

• Breathe gently in and out while focusing on your heart

• Ask what do you want me to know

• Journal what comes up and look out for information coming to you during the day

Journal it: Write what comes up from this heart connection exercise and then write a letter to your heart:

Dear Heart

Allow your pen to flow. When you have written it, read it back. What do you feel, and what do you learn. It does not matter if you get one word or one page. This is the first time of writing to your heart. What is important is that you have started to communicate with her.

The attached document is for you to read and understand a little more about our energy systems, should you want to know more.

Why is it important to know about the chakras?

The chakras are fascinating and provide a framework for understanding who you are, what you want and how to become the person you want to be. The basic overview in this section of the course is to give you a feel for the chakras and what is available to you. Each chakra has several themes and a specific emotion. By taking the time to work with each chakra and the themes while understanding the emotions, you will start to see where you are in or out of balance. Then you can make conscious choices to change and enjoy life more.

In simple terms, the chakra system is an incredible diagnostic and self-help tool. For our bodies to function optimally, all of our seven chakras need to be balanced. This means that your vital energy is flowing smoothly through your body. If one of the energy centres is not functioning at its best, then the others won’t work as well as they should. Some of them can be overactive, and some of them can be underactive, just as say your thyroid might be one or the other. This is something you will pick up over time as you work with them. It is better to learn your energy patterns than rely on what others say – although it can be useful in some situations to read up about each of these as a guide.

I believe that if you understand the principles of the chakras, the better able you will be able to self-diagnose imbalances and take the necessary action for realignment on your own. You may find it difficult to keep them balanced as you rush around and forget to take time out to do some simple daily balancing. It’s like remembering to drink water. The more you do it, the better you will feel.

By learning about and tuning in with the seven major chakras, you can become more aware of your body’s natural energy cycles. Which has to be a good thing. You will also pick up information about your experiences which will help you to heal and grow. You can then look at your experiences from a place of gratitude, love, learning and appreciation.

Keep an open mind and open heart. You will be amazed at what your learn about yourself.

Chakra keywords and tracker

As you become familiar with working with the heart and listening for what comes up, you may want to track the chakra keywords to see if there are any patterns that you might not be aware of. You can create a tracker in your journal. The tracker will show you patterns and pictures of what is going on in your life. As with any journey, it is important to not just look at one aspect but to consider the bigger picture. By keeping an eye on what's going on, you will learn more about yourself and some issues you need to bring your heart's attention to.

To create a tracker, write down each of the chakra names and under each, make a list of the keywords that you’ll find in the basic overview. Write the days of the week across the top and tick each one that comes up. At the end of the week, you will know what is going on for you. E.g. if money keeps coming up, this is at the foundation of your life (root chakra). What do you need to learn, explore, let go of or do something about?

Journal it: Try the tracker or write in your journal and reflect on what you learn

Tune in

Tune in with yourself over the next three days to discover what clues are being left for you. You can tune in to discover what clues are being left for you in many ways:

• Daily journaling

• Breathwork and meditation

• Using the tracker

• What colours are you drawn to the day? What is this saying to you?

• What emotions do you feel as you start your day, and what about at the end?

• How do you feel as you move through your day?

• What else do you notice?

• Tune into your energy peaks and troughs. What is this telling you?

Journal it: Write in your journal anything that comes up that is connected with your energy.

Every day imagine roots growing from your feet going into Mother Earth. Breath up the energy of Mother Earth into your heart and say I am connected, centred and balanced, as you imagine yourself realigning.

Morning Chakra Meditation

Starting your day with a short chakra meditation is one of the simplest and most powerful practices in this course. You do not need to spend an hour on it. Even five minutes, in the quiet before the day begins, will change how you feel.

How Did I Get Here?

In this lecture, we are looking at capturing the memories of how we got here. This is super useful when looking at anything that comes up when working with your heart.

Each chakra's development comes in blocks of 7 years.

This is an optional exercise, you may just want to dive right into your heart work. I love this exercise as it helps when to understand myself a bit more.

Start brainstorming

• Get a large sheet of paper

• You are going to create a timeline (chakra years) across the top and themes (life areas) along one side

• Armed with post-it notes of a variety of colours and coloured pens/pencils, put your date of birth at one end and today's date at the far end

• Next, divide your timeline into blocks of seven years (chakras) e.g. 1-7 - 8-14, etc

Life areas:

Along the side put in the life areas-

• Health and wellbeing

• Learning

• Financial

• Heart and spirit

• Experiences

• Mental/emotional

• Love/Partner

• Family

• Friends

• Mission/Vision

Brainstorm

• Start brainstorming.

• As you look at the themes and time zones, let thoughts come into your mind without censorship

• As a thought comes to mind put it on a post-it and place it where you consider it should go for now. You might use similar colours for certain thoughts or ideas

• When you have brainstormed, take some time out

• Later reflect on what you have written, move things around and add more, do not get rid of any

• When you are ready, start looking for connections, themes and aha moments

• Consider how your developmental years have impacted your personal growth and heart connection

• Use your journal to write about what comes up

Once you can see the connections, you will be able to see where your life themes are. For example, things that happened in childhood may have created a lack of self-worth and self-love as an adult, which in turn has meant that you have always settled for mediocre jobs, rather than becoming an entrepreneur. Health issues could be a direct result of emotional pain from actions or inactions. Poor relationships may be a relentless search for someone like (or unlike) your father. Your inability to write and publish a book could be linked to self-worth around being told you were a rubbish speller. Your eating habits could be a result of stuffed down emotions.

Once you have completed your timelines exercise, you are ready for turning points.

Turning points

This is another exercise that I like to do with lots of reflection in-between. Please take your time. What will happen is that once you have started your unconscious mind will continue in its flow state and keep throwing things at you.

Examining the past can be upsetting, especially when you look back and see a set of repeated behaviours that might now seem cringeworthy. I like to think that despite everything that has happened, it was all meant to be and is just part of the journey, like a tough degree programme at the University of Life. Everything is a learning experience.

• Go back to your timeline and start looking for turning points

• Make a note of each of these ensuring that they stand out

• Next, take each of your turning points and do the following.

• Using your journal, create a page (or two) for every turning point

• On each sheet answer the turning point questions below, you can add your own, but for now, let's keep it simple

• Look for points at which you changed direction or made important, potentially life-changing decisions or points at which change was thrust on you

• Look for times of personal and spiritual growth

Turning point questions

• Describe your life at this time?

• What did you learn that contributed to your spiritual and personal growth?

• What were the gifts and lessons?

• How have these empowered you to be a better person, and how have these helped you to help others?

• How have these things impacted your heart connection?

Your life file

At the end of the writing period, you will have a 'life' file. This file is useful for when you feel stuck. When you understand what got you here, good and not so good, you have the knowledge to support you moving forward.

Journal it: Open up your journal and let the memories flow.

• Make a note of the year ranges

• In your journal write what memories come up for you

• Do this in chunks

• Come back later to reflect when we are working on the energy centre

We shall use these when we get to each energy centre.

Heart – Love and the right to love and be loved

The heart chakra or energy centre is the centre for love and this is where we will start. Connecting with this energy centre will help us to create a heart connection and support our journey.

Simply that we all can love and we can be loved. Releasing grief creates a balanced heart, which means we can offer acceptance and compassion to others and ourselves. It is the place that allows for vulnerability and welcomes in love.

The heart is located behind the breastbone in front and on the spine between the shoulder blades in the back. This fourth energy centre is about love, self-love, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, generosity, empathy, kindness and connections to other’s hearts. When the heart chakra is healthy, you feel the love flowing through your life, you will think about how you give and receive love. You feel sincere gratitude and appreciation for your divine inner wisdom.

This is the centre of love and is connected to your relationships with family, lovers, friends, and animals. When you feel on the same wavelength with someone, it is because you have a heart connection.

This chakra is about:

• Love

• Self-love

• Kindness

• Compassion

• Empathy

• Courage

• Vulnerability

• Forgiveness

• Letting go

• Boundaries

• Connections to other’s hearts

Heart chakra overview

• Colours green or pink.

• Element air

• Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are air element signs

• Planet – Venus

• The right to love and be loved

• Emotion – grief

• Endocrine gland – Thymus

• Spine – T4 to T2

• Age 22-28

When the heart is balanced

• You feel open-hearted

• Kind and compassionate

• Receptive

• Giving

• Forgiving

• Accepting

• And connected in a loving way to both yourself and other people

When the heart is unbalanced and not inflow:

• Don’t love yourself

• Not kind and compassionate

• Find it hard to forgive

• Misuse of passion

• Abuse love

• No loving boundaries

• Allow grief and sadness to rule your life

Keywords

These are some of the keywords for this chakra.

Love, eternal love, need to love and be loved, unconditional love, self-love, kindness, compassion, empathy, clarity, courage, vulnerability, forgiveness, understanding, letting go, boundaries, connections to other’s hearts, commitment, purity, peace, yearn for world peace, thoughtful, sharing, unity, community, harmony, giving, forgiving, brave, sensitive, considerate, attentive, caring, how can I be of service, devoted, emotional intelligence, accepting, boundaries, open heart, joy, grief and sadness.

Journal it: What might you add? Which of these words resonate with you? When you choose a word, notice where that word takes you and what comes up for you. Write about that word for ten minutes. What do you learn? How do you feel about what you have written?

Dear Heart

Now that you know more about the heart, let’s write to the heart again. This is a wonderful exercise. Open up your journal, write dear heart and let your heart speak with you. Set a timer for 10 minutes and go. A few days later, write back to your heart. To make this even more powerful, read your letters aloud – this will help heal the throat chakra.

The heart chakra symbol - 12 virtues of a pure heart

Each petal of the heart chakra lotus is associated with one of 12 virtues of a pure heart:

• Love

• Harmony

• Empathy

• Understanding

• Purity

• Clarity

• Compassion

• Unity

• Forgiveness

• Kindness

• Peace

• Joy

As you work with the heart, you will experience each of these, as you need to. There is no set order or timeframe because everyone has travelled a different path. The key is to work towards a great understanding and relationship with self.

12 blocking qualities

12 blocking qualities of this Chakra are:

• Lust

• Fraud

• Indecision

• Repentance

• Hope

• Anxiety

• Longing

• Impartiality

• Arrogance

• Incompetence

• Discrimination

• Defiance

Notice where these have been a part of your life or are a part of your life. There are no right or wrongs and no dwelling in what you might have done in the past. Simply be aware when any of these show up.

Journal it: Look at both lists and notice which resonate, which grate and which you feel that you need to do more with. Explore in your journal what comes up for you. What is this telling you? Remember there are no right or wrong answers - just yours.

Chakra virtues tracker

Once again, this is an invitation for you to raise your self-awareness and understand yourself and what is going on in your life.

To create a tracker, write down the list of virtues and blockers and under each, make a list of the attributes. Write the days of the week across the top and tick each one that comes up. At the end of the week, you will know what is going on for you. E.g. if kindness comes up, is it that you are kinder and you feel great or is it that you need to be kinder? What if anxiety keeps popping up? Why and what can you do? Perhaps it’s fraud, and you feel that old patter of imposter syndrome creeping in. What do you need to learn, explore, let go of or do something about?

Right now, it’s just about awareness. When you have this awareness, then you can address each issue as needed. The heart will guide you.

Journal it: After one week of tracking — what patterns do you see? Which virtues showed up most? Which blockers? What does this tell you about where your heart most needs your attention?

Hexagram

The hexagram (or Shatkona in Hindi) symbolises the unification of male and female energies in Hinduism. The upper triangle symbolises Lord Shiva (Purusha), and the other one, Goddess Shakti (Prakriti). The union of these divine energies is a source of all creation. When these two forces are united, a balance is achieved. It also references the spiritual and physical union, with spiritual reality reaching down and physical reality stretching upward.

It is the meeting point between the flow of human consciousness upwards towards the spiritual and the flow of soul consciousness towards the manifest or material world. The Heart Chakra seeks a balance between these so that it can integrate spirit and matter.

Balance

Balance is about creating a balance between self-love and the love you offer the world. Just love with no expectation of it coming back. Channel your love into a project for the good of the community. Let go of what does not serve you. Appreciate who you are without expecting thanks from others for what you do. Learn to love and accept yourself. Remember that not everyone or everything is good and loving. Keep your heart open, even when it does not make sense.

Four kinds of balance to explore:

• Balance with experience — make sure you experience each moment for what it is. Accept it without immediately referencing it to the past or projecting it into the future. Nothing can last forever. Nothing is permanent.

• Balance with the past — we often cling to situations, experiences or people because they make us feel safe, even when they no longer serve us. We have conditioned ourselves to the comfort of what we know. Letting go of past attachments opens the heart to a new future.

• Balance with outcomes — make peace with the moment without worrying about how things will turn out. Release the need to know. Accept uncertainty. There are no guarantees about how life will play out. Just live well today.

• Balance with feelings — understand that pain is unavoidable. You will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain with that. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Inner peace

Inner peace often comes from being of service. Finding work that is in a caring profession (therapist, nurse, doctor, teacher). Having a heart-led cause. Supporting others through grief, sadness and death. Working with others in something that brings you joy and love while serving and having a purpose. Inner peace comes when we love and accept ourselves just as we are.

Journal it: How connected do you feel both to your spiritual world and your material world. Are they balanced, or are in more in one? Explore.

Balance journaling prompts

• Think of five areas of your life that you are consciously maintaining a balance. What are these areas? How are you balancing them? Give each a score out of 5. Ask what does that tell you?

• When you think of the concept of balance, what is one simple thing that you can do to make this work better for you?

• Do you know how to strike balances for yourself? Your family? Your business? What is your process (method or way) to ensure the quality of your efforts in doing this?

• Where do you need to focus your attention in striking balances for you personally?

• Where do you need to focus your attention in striking balances for something else in your life?

• What do you need to let go of or change to create more balance in your life?

• Spell BALANCE and describe how being balanced supports you every day.

Where am I?

On a scale of 1-10, where are you at this moment:

• Love

• Harmony

• Empathy

• Understanding

• Purity

• Clarity

• Compassion

• Unity

• Forgiveness

• Kindness

• Peace

• Joy

Journal it: Once you have assessed where you are, colour in the heart mandala. Take your focus to your heart and let go. Notice what comes up as you colour it in, what colours you choose and how you approach it. Then reflect in your journal on anything that comes up for you.

Your heart chakra health plan

You'll learn more about these as you work your way through the course:

• Creating a heart connection – Start every day by connecting with your heart. It’s so simple, do it, feel it, journal on it, and write about what your heart wants you to know.

• Hearts desires – These keep us focused on what we want and who we want to become. Every day take a moment to acknowledge where you are, what you want and who you are becoming.

• Keep a gratitude journal - At the end of each day, write down between one and three things you were grateful for; when you wake up the next morning, read what you wrote the previous night. Breathe that feeling of gratitude in and out of your heart chakra as you begin your day.

• Letting go – There will always be things that you feel resistant to. Letting go makes space for change. Notice what comes up and find a way to see it from another perspective, write about it and let it go.

• Self-love - Visualise your heart chakra as a beautiful, radiant green or pink orb glowing with unconditional love; imagine any past hurts or blockages healing and dissolving. Create daily rituals that work for you based on what you learn and what works for you.

• Being courageous – Take baby steps every day. Acknowledge how far you have come and how brave you are. When you need to do something that feels challenging, step into your heart circle.

• Boundaries – What will you let in, and what do you want to keep out. Stay strong, and soon you will have wonderful heart-led boundaries in place.

• Practice kindness - Try and make it a habit to send genuine good wishes to yourself and others. The Buddhist metta (loving-kindness) prayer is an excellent way to do this.

• Relationships – Keep the right people in your life and let others go. Being emotionally intelligent will help you to navigate these sometimes odd relationships. Remembering at all times that the most important relationship is with you.

• Forgiveness – Find a way that works for you so that you can forgive the hurts and move into a place of peace and contentment and stay there.

• Ask the Universe to support your hearts desires and healing – Ask, take action and trust that what is yours is coming for you.

Journal it: Create a page in your journal called my heart chakra health plan, as things come up for you, add them to your plan

Reflections at the end of the week

At the end of every week, reflect and see how far you have grown.

• What went well? Why?

• What did you learn?

• What are your greatest insights?

• What did you enjoy?

• What needs letting go of or stopping? Why?

• What needs starting? Why?

• What will you start doing differently, ready for next week?

Connecting the 12 virtues with the breath

Imagine the 12 petals of the lotus flower and the heart chakra.

Breathe in and out of these for a count of 12. You may not remember the 12 virtues, so simply imagine each petal opening on each breath.

• Love

• Harmony

• Empathy

• Understanding

• Purity

• Clarity

• Compassion

• Unity

• Forgiveness

• Kindness

• Peace

• Joy

Journal it: Journal what comes up for you. Which virtue felt most alive in your breath? Which felt most difficult to breathe into - and what does that resistance tell you? Were there any surprises? Write freely about what the practice opened up.

The hands and the heart

The hands are an extension of the heart. We use our hands to touch. We touch to reassure, and we wrap our arms around others for a hug which is super comforting. Things that you can do:

• When you need reassurance, put your hands on your heart and breath

• Open your arms out wide and breathe

• Hug yourself

• Hug someone else

• Hold someone else's hands

Journal it: Which of the hands practices brought up the most feeling for you? Was it easier to comfort others or to receive comfort yourself? What does your relationship with touch tell you about your relationship with your heart? Write about what your hands carry - the love they give, the love they hold back, and the love they are ready to offer.

What is love?

I love this question because I feel that it is a feeling that is unique to each of us. Love is the greatest human power anyone can possess. With this as a power source and gateway to the divine (ours and Universal), we can become our best selves.

Love is a powerful energy that resides within us. Misplaced it can destroy anything, just as pure love can overcome anything.

You are love, which means you are and have an exceptional force within you. Sadly, the perception of love has become warped, and it is often associated with things like lust, a desire for belonging to another or coveting things.

Love is one of those things that is hard to describe, but you know when you feel it.

Rather than me putting a label on it, all I ask is that you take yourself back to times when you have felt love and feel back into those experiences. What did you feel? What did you do or say in the name of love? Was there a quality to your love? When it was attached to a person or, say, a pet, how was it? Are there different qualities depending upon the circumstances or the experience?

When you know what love is to you, how and where you feel, you will know how to recognise divine love. Divine love is the love that you hold within you, for you and for those that you wish to share it with.

Love, for me, is about connecting with my true essence, other sentient beings, be that humans or animals and Mother Earth.

Love can drive us or drive us bonkers. We want it, we crave it, when we have it, we feel incredible. When we don’t, we yearn for it. It can make us do some crazy things. It’s what makes humanity, and its absence is what destroys humanity. It has been said that there is only love and fear. Everything else fits between these two things and what we are striving for is to live in the light of love.
Love and Fear

To know love is to also know fear. And while it may seem a contradiction, fear is not to be feared. It is a sign that we need to take some action. It shows us that we need something and might want to do something about it. Bizarrely, there is great value in fear. Think about this, our bodies use fear to get us out of danger fast. That has to be great, but you wouldn’t want to be on high alert all of the time, would you?

When you stand on any part of the love fear spectrum, it is a call for you to take a step closer to love. Imagine if at one end is a dark tunnel or circle and at the other is a heart. The call is to move closer to the heart. This is your home. At your heart, you make a connection with you, make a connection to other’s hearts and to the heart of Mother Earth.

Finally, when you think about love now, do you think of love as something that is attached to an experience. For example, is love about heartache or heartbreak. If it is separate love in its purest form from experience and explore again.

Journal it: What does love mean to you? Have you attached it to lack of love or heartbreak? Who would you be if love was just love and not associated with a not so nice experience?

Love as a felt experience

Take yourself back to a time when you have felt love - fully, cleanly, in your body. It might be for a person, a pet, a place, a piece of music, or a moment in nature. Anything.

Journal it: Describe that experience of love in as much physical detail as you can. Where did you feel it in your body? What did it do to your breathing? What did you do or say? What was the quality of it? Then ask: how can I bring more of this feeling into my relationship with myself?

Being in love

Being in love is a very personal and intense feeling. You’ll know, you can’t pinpoint it, and who cares? You just know. And what about that falling in love feeling?

Currently, I am on my own, but I can remember falling head over heels with a few guys. Tummy flutters, feeling safe, wanted and loved in return. There was, of course, the whole sex thing when lots of chemicals conspire against you to make you think that you are in love as nature screams. We need more humans, so make babies. That love lust doesn’t last long.

Being in love can be confusing and fun. It can sneak in or leap on you unexpectedly, whichever it is. I hope that you have enjoyed it. It can also disappear in what can seem like a moment. Often people associate love with having their hearts broken, but this is an experience, not love. Try to separate experiences from what love is. You are love – pure and simple.

Journal it:

• Describe what love means to you?

• How do you know when you are in love?

• What makes you feel loved?

• Spell out LOVE and make each letter form a random word. Then write a short reflective piece for10 minutes including these words

Self-love

What on earth does self-love mean to you? Does it matter what others think it is, or does it only matter what it means to you? The truth is that each of us will define and redefine what both love and self-love mean for us. For me, it means

• Being honest about how I feel about myself

• Understanding all of me and the connection to my spirit – the essence of me

• Doing things that nourish all of me

• Putting myself first and loving everything about me – no matter what

• My commitment first to myself and then to explore, expand and extend that out into the world with my gifts

Self-love supports your physical, mental, soul and spiritual growth. To keep the energy of love strong, we need to be kinder, more compassionate, have gratitude for who we are, open to receiving as well as giving and be more loving to ourselves. When we practice self-love, every cell in our bodies will hear, respond and resonate with love. Like air, food and water, it is essential. With love, we can set ourselves up for continuous, conscious and unconscious healing.

Self-love is something that is often neglected. We spend much of our time worrying and caring about others that we forget to look in the mirror and say, 'hey gorgeous'. We forget to nourish and nurture our souls. Loving ourselves is vital to thriving. Self-love helps to drive away fear and creates the conditions for growth. When you love you, others will feel a vibrational pull towards you and you towards them.

Learning to love your body is a massive part of self-love. Ask yourself, ‘do I love myself enough to want to hear what my body has to say?’

There is a lot of advice about how to hear what your body is saying. It’s all useful. However, you have to discover how your body speaks to you. If you have tried numerous ways and they are not working, it is merely that you haven’t found your way, or you have given up too soon.

Listening to your body

Listening to your body is not difficult, more that we make it difficult by not having faith in what we can hear. Take a moment now and scan your body in any way that feels right. What do you notice? Anything? Any words come into your head? Pain? Tingles? What?

Every day millions of signals are being sent around your fantastic body. Think about this, how do you know when you need water or food or what time to go to bed? That is your body telling you, ‘hey, I’m hungry or sleepy.’ What you do next with the signal is up to you. Even when your body says it’s hungry, you may punish it for speaking by feeding it a Mars bar instead of something nutritious. Then there are the signs that something more serious is happening. If you do not heed these messages, then chances are you will receive a communication that you do not enjoy.

How do you talk to your body?

I’ve spent a lifetime saying how much I hate my arms and keeping them constantly covered up. A friend bought me some oil as a present for my sacral chakra, and I, without thinking, poured some on my tum at bedtime. Shock, horror, lots more than I expected shot out. Scooping it up, I asked who would like some; my arms said ‘we are thirsty,' so I fed them oil. For a while, I followed an evening ritual of putting oil on my body and arms and speaking sweetly to her.

When you become conscious of the power of your words and the energy they emit, you can start to see wonderful changes in how your body responds. The art is to become aware of the words you use and swap them for expressions of love and appreciation. You must do this daily. Eventually, with this extra noticing, you will become more loving in the way you talk to yourself. One of my practices is to say how gorgeous my body is before a shower as I am skin brushing and after as I apply oil.

Your relationship with you is your most important job, get that right, and everything else will flow.

Journal it: Let’s start by asking a few questions to kick-start our adventure.

• Reflect on what does love mean to you?

• What does self-love mean to you?

• Who are you when you love yourself?

What self-love isn’t

If you are struggling with how to define self-love, try thinking about what it isn’t. So, it’s not being perfect, nor is it always being happy or positive. It’s not how much money you have to buy nice things, your success or qualifications. It’s not all the faults you find in yourself that make you go and do crazy things in the name of love. Self-love comes from within, and only you can define what it means for you.

Where does a lack of self-love show up?

Look at these and remember if you do any of these, now is the time to acknowledge them, look at your behaviour from another perspective and take baby steps every day to turn them around.

• Being a people pleaser

• Poor boundaries

• Putting other peoples needs first

• Calling yourself names

• Not eating properly

• Feel like you don’t know who you are

• Comparing yourself with others

• Perfectionism

Benefits of self-love and creating a heart connection

You will:

• Feel better about who you are

• Kinder and more forgiving to yourself

• Let the perfectionism go, and that in itself is less stressful

• Make sure your needs are met

• Feel inflow and how more energy for life

• More love and kindness for others

• Healthier relationships with others

Journal it: Take some time to reflect on why you started this journey and some of the things that have come up so far around love and self-love.

Creating a daily ritual

Healing does not happen overnight, and nor do your hearts desires magically turn up. Change takes time. Some days you will feel stuck, and on others, life flows. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

One of the ways to support your journey is to create a daily ritual that works for you. Right now, you won’t know what that is, but as you make your way through this, you’ll find things that will work for you. Do them daily and build good habits, and you’ll soon see great things happening.

My tip is to start journaling, talking to yourself more kindly and put yourself first at least once a day – what would you add?

Remember, we are starting where you are, and from here, you will definitely see and feel a change and make progress.

Who can support you? Think of a friend or family member who you can connect with who will be your cheerleader. Also, consider working with a therapist or counsellor should any old traumas arise. You can always come back to this or use it alongside any professional support.

Journal it: Find a blank page in your journal and write, creating a daily ritual. Write down some of your ideas and do them.

Reflections at the end of the week

At the end of every week, reflect and see how far you have grown.

• What went well? Why?

• What did you learn?

• What are your greatest insights?

• What did you enjoy?

• What needs letting go of or stopping? Why?

• What needs starting? Why?

• What will you start doing differently, ready for next week?

Hearts desires

I deserve to have everything my heart desires

At the start of each new journal (month, new moon), it’s a great idea to think about what you want. The things on your list can be anything. The point is for you to just scribble and to keep scribbling. These can be anything from new shoes, the windows painted, to a baby, a new job or change in business direction, better health, self-love, inner peace, or meeting your soul mate. Just get them all out.

Why anything? Because often, what we desire has a deeper fundamental meaning. New shoes could be about self-esteem, new doors – safety, or a holiday – you need to unwind and escape from day-to-day stress.

Start with the mundane and material, move onto the magical and finish with the magnificent. Keep coming back and adding things in. This is great fun, and you will end up with all kinds of things on your list. If you are stuck for inspiration, take a look at the life areas in the next section.

Mundane and material

These are the things you feel are everyday things, such as new windows, shoes, throws for the sofa, new crockery, etc. It’s basically stuff that you want that will most likely make you feel happy.

Magical

These are things that feel a bit more special, like a holiday or a new job, and they can include healing relationships and making friends with someone who has hurt you.

Magnificent

These are the things that you want to do that will change the world. This might be a cause close to your heart, and perhaps sharing your healing journey with others to show them what is possible.

How do these make you feel?

When you look at the list, find one or two things that resonate and ask how you feel and who you will be when you have those things. Will new crockery help you to feel proud to invite friends over for dinner. Will a holiday restore your soul. Does having a heart-led business serve a greater purpose, and you feel like you are living your mission?

Journal it: Write your heart's desires freely — start with the mundane and material, move to magical, end with the magnificent. Do not edit or judge. Just write. Then go back and reflect: why are these important right now? What do they tell you about who you are and what your heart is asking for?

Use this week to really get connected to what it is your heart wants.

Your focus for the journey ahead

Once you have reviewed your heart’s desires, you will probably find that you will have one or two areas that you want to focus on. Take your time. You may find that these will change. This is from where you will create a powerful intention and then where you will focus your attention.

When you get to daily journaling, you will start to use these as the focus for actions (to do’s) for the day ahead. Don’t freak. You don’t need actions in everyone – just your priority for the day. This is where you will focus your energy and if the energy for the day says no, then do something else.

Journal it: Think about the things you want, look at your hearts desires for inspiration. When you have done that, create a list of what you want to focus on. Write these in your journal. Write an intention next to each, how you will feel when you have them and who you will be.

Kick-start your heart’s desire plan

Journal it: Make a list, let it breathe and then put it into some order. When you wake each morning, bring your hands to your heart and connect with your heart's desire. Breathe into it and ask what you need to know?

Ask what you can say yes to?

You will see the world through new eyes when you ask yourself, what can I say yes to today? Remember, the Universe is listening to you all the time and is ready to respond to your energy. What is it about your desires that inspires you enough that you want to say yes, and you want the Universe to say yes too as well?

This is the art of co-creation. Many of us have the habit of going through the day saying no to what we don’t want or like, rather than simply saying yes to what we want. Saying yes opens up the energy to more opportunities and is much more positive.

Journal it: Make a list of what you can say yes and affirm that you are open to receive.

Reflections at the end of the week

At the end of every week, reflect and see how far you have grown.

• What went well? Why?

• What did you learn?

• What are your greatest insights?

• What did you enjoy?

• What needs letting go of or stopping? Why?

• What needs starting? Why?

• What will you start doing differently, ready for next week?

And spend the week, revisiting and reflecting on your hearts desires

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

Giving thanks makes you happy. Journaling helps to create change. Bring them both together, and that is the incredible power of word alchemy. When you write about what you appreciate, there is a vibration that is carried to the page. Try writing and then moving your hands over the words. I wonder what you will sense? Try it again by saying what you are grateful for, how does that change the energy for you? Gratitude journaling creates a magical vibrational energy that flows throughout your being and out into the world.

Your gratitude journal

As you go about your day, engage your senses as often as possible so that you become aware of the things you can feel grateful for and appreciate. Then take a moment to be present to each element as you notice it and become aware of your feelings. Also go deeper and fully understand what has been made available to you.

When you begin your gratitude practice recall what you have noticed during the day or week. When you are ready, write between one and three things that you are grateful for stated in the present tense. They can be anything.

Gratitude

Journal it: State I am grateful for… For example:

• I am grateful that it is safe to love me

• I am grateful that I am surrounded by beautiful and loving friends and family

• I am grateful for my healthy boundaries and kind heart

When it comes to gratitude, write anything from the mundane to the magnificent, while focusing on the heart chakra area.

Challenges and lessons

What challenges and lessons came up from the things you felt gratitude for. In writing this, it will open your awareness to the deeper meaning of gratitude.

Gifts

What gifts did the things you are grateful for, plus the challenges and lesson? Why do you consider them to be gifts?

Appreciation

Remember to consider the source of your gratitude and appreciate the abundance that is coming into your life. Regular gratitude and appreciation will rev up your energy and help you to create a more loving and fulfilling life.

When you have finished writing what you are grateful for breathe in love from your root chakra, up your body and into your heart and connect to your appreciation.

The heart of your gratitude

When you start your gratitude practice, bring your heart into your gratitude practice. Take a few moments to connect to what you are grateful for and follow the pathway or story. You will be fascinated by what comes up. In addition, when you start your heart chakra prompts, always bring gratitude into your responses.

It’s important as you connect with your heart, follow the roots to stay out of the story and to become a witness to what you observe. You may see, feel or sense memories, images, feelings, sounds, smells or tastes. Make a note and use them to learn from.

Action

Follow your gratitude practice at least 3 times a week. For this week focus on your gratitude practice. Then as you move on, keep it as a part of your daily journaling. Add gratitude journaling to your daily ritual list.

Journal prompts

• Twelve things I’m grateful for right now… Really feel into why you are grateful for these things. What do you appreciate what these things give you?

• One freedom I often take for granted is...We often forget to say thank you for all that we have. Today start to acknowledge and appreciate your freedom. Consider why this freedom is important to you

• Who were the most important people in your life this year? Sometimes when we feel low and disconnected, our light is rekindled by people that love us. Who are these people, and why are you grateful to them?

Reflections at the end of the week

At the end of every week, reflect and see how far you have grown.

• What went well? Why?

• What did you learn?

• What are your greatest insights?

• What did you enjoy?

• What needs letting go of or stopping? Why?

• What needs starting? Why?

• What will you start doing differently, ready for next week?

Healing your heart

Unconditional love is the path of acceptance of yourself and everyone else. It has to start with you.

• How you love yourself affects how happy you allow yourself to be

• How you love yourself affects what opportunities you allow yourself to take on

• How you love yourself affects how others treat you

• How you love yourself directly affects your work, your relationship with your family, your relationship with friends and your love life

Self-love supports your physical, mental, soul and spiritual growth. To keep the energy of love strong, we need to be kinder, more compassionate, have gratitude for who we are, open to receiving as well as giving and be more loving to ourselves. When we practice self-love, every cell in our bodies will hear, respond and resonate with love. Like air, food and water, it is essential. With love, we can set ourselves up for continuous, conscious and unconscious healing.

Self-love is something that is often neglected. We spend much of our time worrying and caring about others that we forget to look in the mirror and say, ‘hey gorgeous’. We forget to nourish and nurture our souls. Loving ourselves is vital to thriving. Self-love helps to drive away fear and creates the conditions for growth. When you love you, others will feel a vibrational pull towards you and you towards them.

The cycle of healing

This is a cycle, and you will go through each of the stages several times, each time healing more of what needs to heal.

Acceptance

Acceptance is an active process that demonstrates courage and inner strength. Acceptance is accepting the fact that something happened that you cannot change. You cannot reverse time. You cannot change things that have occurred in the past. All you can do is accept that it did happen and see what you could learn from it.

Patience

Having patience with your process and knowing that time is a great healer. So often, we look for fixes. This is not a time to be fixed. This is a time to be kind and patient with ourselves.

Allowing

Allowing is about allowing whatever you need to arise and to just be. Do not try to force anything. Simply flow.

Feeling

Wow, this can be a tough one. Letting yourself feel everything and allowing your feelings flow through you. If you suppress your feelings, they will only manifest (eventually) as dis-ease. Many of us want to stuff it down. I know that it can be tough to let it all out. However, the relief as you acknowledge and accept your feelings is immense.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not acceptance. It is, however, part of the process of wholeness. Letting go is where you should end up at the end of the forgiveness process. Use the exercises in the section on forgiveness to help you to process.

Release

This is the stage where you can feel the release of the grip of what is hurting you. It might be that it is so gradual and subtle that you didn’t notice. When you reflect in your journal, you can see that you have been releasing your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs as you have been processing.

Letting go

Letting go is the final declutter. This is not to say you won’t ever feel the stuff wash over you, but you are finally ready to let go of the pain. It’s akin to decluttering a messy room. Look at doing a letting go ceremony. The full moon is perfect for this.

Journal it: Consider where you are in this healing cycle. What are you currently in the process of accepting, allowing, feeling, releasing or letting go of? Write honestly about where you are — not where you think you should be. Simply be aware and note your progress as you move through this process.

Meditation

Meditation is what you make it. The benefits are well known. You will lower your stress levels, find a place of calm and peace within, get to hear what your body (especially your heart) is saying, focus improves and best of all, you are kinder to yourself. There are so many ways to meditate. My favourite ways are listening to a guided meditation on my Insight Timer app, sitting silently, and focusing on my breath with my mala beads and walking in nature. I like simple and in the moment. I do short connecting meditations before I write. Another favourite, especially for the heart, is the Metta meditation which means loving-kindness (see kindness).

The way that I see meditation is that there is something for everyone, and when you find what works, you will reap the benefits. I like meditation because it needs no special equipment or set-up, apart from getting into a comfortable position. Importantly I have no set outcome, more that I breathe, surrender and let it flow.

The three hearts meditation

This is a lovely way to connect into your heart daily and before you write in your journal.

Find a comfortable place to sit or lie. Close your eyes. Take some deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, with a sigh and pursed lips. Become aware of your body from head to toe, of your weight, of the heaviness of your limbs. Relax. Scan your body and simply notice. Become aware of any sensations or feelings, but do not judge.

• Place your hands on your heart and breathe slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth

• I invite you to imagine that you have roots growing from your feet into Mother Earth. See them flow all the way into the centre of the Earth, where you will find the heart of Mother Earth – connect with her

• Drink this energy in through your roots and into your body

• You are now securely anchored into the ground. Feel yourself becoming grounded

• Bring your attention back to your roots, allow a sense of security, calm and inner peace to come in

• Breathe in goodness and breathe out any negative things that you may be holding inside you. Send it to Mother Earth to be transmuted

• Do this a few times

• Next, continue to breathe in healing earth energy and extend it from the base of your spine up through your body, connecting with your heart

• Breathe in and out a few times, feel yourself becoming centred

• On your next breath, take your awareness out through the top of your head, into the heavens and the heart of consciousness and breathe in pure white light

• Flood your body with the pure white light

• Breathe out anything that does not serve you, that you may be holding inside you

• Do this a few times

• Bring your attention back to your heart. Simply be aware. Feel, see, or sense the energy in this area. Look around; what do you notice? What messages are you getting? What images do you see? What are you sensing?

• Take a releasing breath and come back into the room

Chakra I am love mantra

Take your hands and focus on your heart and say this:

• I am love, and I am safe

• I am love, and I am creation

• I am love, and I am

• I am love

• I am love, and I am heard

• I am love, and I can see

• I am love, and we are one

Journal it: After practising the three hearts meditation or the I am love mantra — what do you notice? What shifted? What messages did your heart bring? Write immediately after the practice, before the experience fades.

30 things I love about myself

This is a wonderful exercise to start you off. You can use these cards anytime you need a boost. You can also use them as reflective journaling prompts. Get a pack (or two) of index cards. You will need 30 for this exercise, and you may want to also create other kinds of cards (see later). Also, get coloured pens. Find yourself a quiet spot. Do the heart chakra meditation to open your heart and write without thinking 30 things you love about yourself.

It may seem hard to start off with but keep going. These can be anything from how much you love your toes to the kindness you show to all humans. Keep these cards by the side of your bed, or somewhere you will see them every day. When you are feeling like a boost, pick a card and reflect.

Journal it: After completing your thirty things, which surprised you most? Which ones felt easy to write, and which did you have to dig for? Pick your three most surprising and write about why they are true. This week, pick one card each day and spend five minutes journaling about that quality in yourself.

Do I love myself enough to?

Bring to mind something that is irking you or something that you have been putting off. This could be a change in your diet; perhaps you want to give up sugar or not drink wine every evening. You may keep saying that you want to do a daily walk and just don’t. Ask do I love myself enough to…?

If it is that something that you are eating that doesn’t serve you, next time you are offered something that you know is not so good for you, ask, do I love myself enough to not eat that [insert your thing]? Or do I love myself enough to get off my ass and make a delicious, healthy cake that my body will love?

When my brain screams, give me something sweet, I ask where am I missing sweetness in my life and how can I satisfy the bodily urge for sweet stuff now. Typically I get up and make something that my body will thank me for rather and irritate it with stuff it will scream at. Likewise, when I feel tired, I use compassion and take a nap.

Think of toxic people. Do I love myself enough to move away from their energy?

Apply this question every time something arises that you know instinctively needs addressing but haven’t. Bring your energy to the situation, ask, breathe, let go and reframe.

Journal it: Make a list of everything that you are committed to doing because you love yourself enough to. Read your list back aloud. How does it feel to frame these as acts of self-love rather than obligations? Which one feels most important right now - and what has been stopping you? What would shift in your life if you truly lived this one commitment for the next seven days?

Reflections at the end of the week

At the end of every week, reflect and see how far you have grown.

• What went well? Why?

• What did you learn?

• What are your greatest insights?

• What did you enjoy?

• What needs letting go of or stopping? Why?

• What needs starting? Why?

• What will you start doing differently, ready for next week?