How to Manage Difficult People

In this lecture we will consider what we mean by difficult people. What is it they say or do to us and why do we think that they are being difficult? You will be asked to do a bit of "soul searching". Do we all have the same difficult people, or do we feel differently. You will learn what causes people to be difficult. And you will discover how you can change yourself and change them.

We all have different difficult people, and what is difficult for you, may not be for someone else. We will then identify what we mean by difficult people and examine reasons why they might be that way

You are not going to be able to change them until you change your own behaviour. You need to take charge of your behaviour, be more confident, improve your listening skills, understand the impact of tone of voice and body language, become more assertive and more likeable.

We all use different programs of behaviour and this lecture will give a better understanding of how each of us behaves.

By deciding which program of behaviour you want to communicate from, you will be able to change the other persons program of behaviour

You will be able to identify your default program and how that might influence the people you deal with.

You need to take charge of your thinking, do not allow any other person to control your mind. Have belief in yourself; think about your successes in life. Look after yourself both physically and psychologically.Build rapport with other people; become interested in them. Have the courage to act; feel the fear but do it anyway.

When you manage other people, be they a member of staff or a customer, it is important to communicate on a human and a business level. That allows you deal with their feelings and deal with their problem. Dealing with feelings using your thinking program, will minimise difficulty and allow you to deal with their problem quickly and easily.

By building your likeability factor, you will minimise the number of situations when you have to manage a difficult person.

Difficult people may say or do things that potentially hook you. If you take the bait, then the other person effectively controls your behaviour. It is important to stay in your thinking program and not get hooked.

Some words are better than others when dealing with people. Using the wrong words could only make a difficult person more difficult. Many of the words used are either controlling or adaptive; far better to use words from your thinking program.

There are many things about other people that may be pet peeves or pet hates for you. Often simple things that can get in the way of good communication. People may do or say things that annoy or irritate you and that can hook you. We all see the world in a different way, and being aware of this can prevent difficult situations escalating.

It is natural to be non assertive or aggressive. Assertiveness is learned behaviour, it is part of your thinking program and it will help you to manage difficult people.

When being assertive and managing difficult people, it is important to remember that you have rights.

This lecture will detail these rights and include exercises to develop your understanding.

Assertiveness is a very positive response in any interaction. It makes it clear to the other person what you're unhappy about and allows you to calmly state your case. It in no way affects their human rights. This lecture gives examples of various techniques you can use to manage a difficult person

Internal and external customers expect your product or service to meet their needs. Over and above that, they expect their human needs to be met. This lecture will show you how.

Techniques to manage difficult people be the customers or staff. You need to deal with their emotions before you deal with the problem. This will dilute the emotions and meet the other person's needs

This lecture will show how coaching will be more effective than managing staff. Ignoring behaviour you're unhappy with or reprimanding is not effective. Coaching will identify the behaviour your unhappy with and reach agreement with the staff member on how to resolve it.