10-day Kick Start Your Memoir Writing Experience

Day 1: Capturing Memories

Awaken the Memories That Shaped Who You've Become

Every memoir begins in the same place — the past. Not a tidy, curated version of it. The real one. The one that lives in your body, your senses, the smell of a particular room or the sound of someone's voice.

Today we go there. You'll choose three significant childhood memories and bring them back to life on the page. This is where your memoir begins.

Your Task

Reflect on your childhood and choose three memories that have had a lasting impact on you. Write them down with as much detail as you can — not a summary, not a list of facts. Bring them alive as if you're back inside them.

A note of compassion: not all childhood memories are easy ones. If something difficult surfaces, you choose what to do with it. Write through it if it feels right. Pause and seek support if it doesn't. Skip it and choose another. Your wellbeing comes before any writing exercise.

Reflection Prompts

• Describe a childhood memory that shaped your values or beliefs.

• Write about a moment of joy or innocence from your early years.

• Recall a challenging experience that taught you an important life lesson.

Writing Exercise

Choose one of the memories you've just written and expand it into a short scene. What did you see? What could you hear, smell, feel, taste? Who was there? What was said?

Scenes are the building blocks of memoir — and this is your first one. No one else needs to read it. Just start. Even "any old rubbish" will do. The magic is already in motion once your pen is moving.

Tip

If you're stuck staring at a blank page, try this: pick up an old photograph, hold a childhood object, or talk to someone who was there. Your senses know things your mind has filed away. Let them lead you back.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 1 handout goes into detail on how to write in scenes — why they work, how to build them, and what makes a great one. There's also guidance on scene setting: how to use all five senses to make your reader feel like they're standing right there beside you.

This is the foundation everything else builds on.

Day 2: Exploring Identity

Discover Who You Are — And Who You're Becoming

Today gets juicy.

In your memoir, you are the protagonist. Readers will connect with you not just through what happened to you, but through who you are — your values, your culture, your beliefs, and how all of these have shifted over time.

Today's work is about exploring the different facets of your identity and understanding how they've shaped the person you've become. This isn't just memoir preparation. This is self-discovery at its deepest level.

Your Task

Reflect on different aspects of your identity — culture, gender, heritage, personal values, beliefs, the experiences that define you. Write about how these factors have shaped your life and continue to influence who you are today.

Reflection Prompts

• Write about a specific cultural tradition or heritage that has influenced your identity.

• Describe a moment when your identity was challenged and how you navigated it. This one tends to be particularly powerful.

• Reflect on a belief or value that's central to your identity and explore its origins — where did it come from? How has it evolved?

Writing Exercise

Choose one aspect of your identity and write a personal manifesto expressing your thoughts and feelings about it. Let yourself be bold, honest, and unapologetic.

Everything you write today will serve you later — when you write your About the Author section, craft your book description, or introduce yourself to readers. Readers are fascinated by what shaped us. These identity pieces create the emotional connection that makes memoir unforgettable.

Tip

Because this work is deeply personal, emotions will likely surface. Write them down as they come up. Take breaks when you need them. Don't shy away from the challenging aspects — the moments when your identity was tested or questioned make for the most compelling stories.

There are many versions of you that exist in the minds of everyone you've ever met. But there is only one version that is truly you — the one you know from the inside. Today, you're writing for that version.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 2 handout covers character arcs and how to develop the significant people in your memoir — including yourself. It also explores the full range of emotions in memoir writing, with examples to show you how to bring each one to life on the page.

Day 3: Powerful Relationships

The People Who Shaped Your Journey

Your memoir is about you — but it's also about how you relate to the world and the people in it.

Today we explore the relationships that have influenced, challenged, supported, and transformed you. When you eventually write your full memoir, you'll create character arcs for the significant people in your story. Today's work lays the foundation for understanding how those connections have shaped who you've become.

Your Task

Choose three significant relationships from your life and write about their impact on your personal growth. Think beyond the surface — how did these connections actually change you?

Reflection Prompts

• Describe a mentor or role model who played a significant role in shaping your life.

• Write about a challenging relationship that taught you valuable lessons about yourself. We all have these.

• Reflect on a friendship that has stood the test of time and the qualities that make it meaningful. Those friendships that endure — the ones where someone shouted "sit next to me!" and decades later you're still connected — deserve a place in your story.

Writing Exercise

Choose one of the relationships you wrote about and write a letter to that person — expressing your gratitude and the insights you've gained from that connection.

Important: don't send it. Not yet. This exercise is for you — to process, to honour, to release, to understand. If it's a difficult relationship and the letter holds some heat, write it all out and let it go. Some people photograph the letter and burn it on a full moon. There's something powerful about releasing words to the universe that way. If it's full of gratitude and you want to send it later, keep it. You can decide that once you've had time to sit with it.

Tip

Conflict drives narrative. Don't just focus on the good times — write about the hardships, the tensions, the relationships that tested you. That's where the most compelling stories live, and where the deepest character development happens.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 3 handout goes deeper into conflict and resolution — the two forces that drive every memoir forward. It covers internal conflict, external conflict, and how to trace the arc of each significant character through your story. It's rich material. Download it and take your time with it.

Day 4: Conquering Challenges

Finding the Gifts in the Struggle

Life is full of challenges, whether we want them or not. Within those challenges lie our greatest gifts and lessons.

The obstacles we face test our resilience and shape our character. They make us who we are — whether we came out kicking and screaming or feeling quietly triumphant. Today, we explore the challenges you've overcome and the strength you discovered along the way.

Your Task

Reflect on three significant challenges you've faced in your life. Write about how you overcame them and the impact they had on you.

Reflection Prompts

• Write about a moment when you faced a fear head-on and came through the other side.

• Describe a time when you had to navigate a major life transition and adapt to change.

• Reflect on a difficult decision and what you learned from it.

Writing Exercise

Choose one of the challenges you wrote about and write a short essay — a side of A4, a couple of sides of A5 — reflecting on how it changed your perspective.

Don't just write about the difficult situation itself. Dig deeper. Bring in the emotions — how did you feel in the moment? Show what you did and what choices you made. Explore why you responded the way you did. And reveal the transformation: how did this experience change you? What did you learn about yourself that you didn't know before?

When readers see how you navigated hardship and came through it changed, they see hope for their own struggles. What was possible for you becomes possible for them.

Tip

When writing about challenges, illustrate not just the difficulty of the situation but how you felt, what you did, and what you learned. Your values and beliefs will have shaped how you faced each one — that's where the really valuable insights live.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 4 handout covers the three elements that make every memoir sing: challenges, gifts, and lessons. It also explores the idea of transformation and impact — how your story, honestly told, has the power to touch hearts and inspire change in others. Download it and read it before you write.

Day 5: Embracing Vulnerability

The Heart-to-Heart Connection

This one might feel challenging. Vulnerability can feel like tearing your heart open and exposing yourself to the world.

But it is also what connects us to our readers most deeply.

None of us have reached this point in life — at any age — without doing things we feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about. All of those experiences have shaped who we are. When we write about them with honesty, we create memoir that truly resonates.

Being vulnerable doesn't mean revealing every last detail. People can read between the lines. What matters is letting readers see the real you — not just the polished version. Today is about acknowledging the messy, beautiful, human stuff in the safety of your private journal.

Your Task

Reflect on three moments in your life when you felt truly vulnerable. Write about the emotions, the lessons, the challenges, the gifts, and the growth you gained from those experiences.

Reflection Prompts

• Write about a time when you shared a personal truth or story that made you feel vulnerable. I call this the cringe factor — that moment when you think "I don't want to tell anyone that!"

• Describe a moment when you allowed yourself to be fully seen and accepted for who you are. This one is often a real toughy, but it's fantastic to explore.

• Reflect on a time when vulnerability led to a meaningful connection or breakthrough.

Writing Exercise

Choose one of the vulnerable moments you wrote about and write a short story inspired by that experience. This could become a scene in one of your chapters later.

You might feel some stuff come up. That's normal. Get it out. Write it all down in this private space. When you eventually write your memoir, you can refine it, decide how much to share, trace it back to its roots — but for now, just let it flow. I promise it will be powerful.

Tip

Vulnerability in memoir writing doesn't mean exposing every intimate detail. It means sharing the emotional truth of your experiences. Going beneath the surface to explore the feelings, thoughts, and lessons those experiences evoked — that's what connects you to your reader on a heart-to-heart level.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 5 handout explores vulnerability in memoir in depth — why it matters, what it looks like on the page, and how it creates the kind of writing that stays with a reader long after they've finished the last page. Download it and let it sit with you.

Day 6: Lessons Learned

Mining Your Experiences for Gold

The lessons we've learned are one of the main reasons people read memoirs.

When readers encounter the insights you've gained from your experiences, something shifts in them. They think: if this was possible for her, perhaps it's possible for me too. Your hard-won wisdom becomes a guidepost for their own journey.

Today we focus on capturing those insights and understanding how they've shaped who you've become.

Your Task

Identify three important life lessons you've learned. Write about how these lessons have influenced your perspective and the choices you've made.

Reflection Prompts

• Reflect on a mistake or failure that taught you a valuable lesson. We all have plenty of these.

• Write about the gifts you received from a lesson. You may need to dig deep — but I promise you, in all the murk, in all the difficult lessons we've gone through, there's an aha moment waiting. Even if it didn't feel like a gift at the time, you'll see it now.

• Describe a time when you experienced a profound shift in your mindset or belief system because of a lesson learned. We all have values and beliefs, but they're not set in stone. When we go through certain experiences, those beliefs get challenged — and that's where something valuable lives.

Writing Exercise

Choose one of the life lessons you wrote about and write it as a short guide or advice column, offering insights to others facing similar challenges.

This exercise shows you how memoir can work. You can write memoir that's clearly self-help in spirit, or you can weave the insights more subtly into your narrative. Either way, your memoir becomes — and this might sound strange — a teaching aid. A guide for others. Anyone who picks up your book will do so because they're going through something similar. Your wisdom matters.

Tip

When reflecting on lessons learned, think about how you might have acted differently with your current knowledge. This isn't about regret — it's about demonstrating growth and transformation. The narrative arc of memoir is built on exactly this: the journey from who you were to who you've become.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 6 handout explores transformation and growth in depth — why these are the heartbeat of every memoir and how to show them through your narrative arc. It covers the difference between showing progress and simply reporting events, and how your lessons create the threads that weave your whole story together. Download it and see what emerges.

Day 7: Journey of Transformation

The Cosmic Roundabout

We're at the heart of memoir now. Today is all about transformation — the core of your narrative arc.

I think of these pivotal moments as cosmic roundabouts. You're travelling along the road of your life and suddenly you whiz around one. You go off in a particular direction — but it's not necessarily the right direction. So what happens? You realise, turn around, come back, reflect, and head off somewhere different. In that coming back and going off in a new direction, you've created transformation. That's what we're exploring today.

Your Task

Identify three transformative moments from your life. Write about how these moments altered your perspective, your values, or the entire trajectory of your life.

Reflection Prompts

• Describe a moment when you experienced a significant personal breakthrough or epiphany — one of those aha or eureka moments.

• Write about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and embraced a new experience. Comfort zones are lovely, safe places. But stepping out is where growth happens. What did you see, feel, know, sense? What did you learn?

• Reflect on a period of personal growth and transformation that came from a difficult experience.

Writing Exercise

Here's where we do something different. Choose one of the transformative moments you wrote about and write a short fictional piece inspired by it. I call this creative life writing, and it's deeply healing work — and it can be fun too.

When you write fiction based on your experience, you can create any outcome you choose, describe your characters however you like, and let your imagination run. After you've done this piece, you'll see things in a completely different way. It's liberating.

Fiction also teaches you narrative techniques that make your memoir more engaging. People love stories. So have a go at it. Experiment. Play.

Tip

When recounting a transformation, focus on the process as much as the end result. The journey — with all its ups and downs, wrong turns, and cosmic roundabouts — is what provides the most engaging and relatable content for your readers. They don't just want to know you transformed. They want to see how.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 7 handout covers the concept of outcomes in memoir — both chapter outcomes and the overall book outcome. Every chapter needs to lead somewhere. Understanding this gives your narrative direction and gives your reader a reason to keep turning pages. Download it and think about where your chapters are heading.

Day 8: Embracing Joy and Gratitude

Finding the Light in Your Story

After exploring challenges, vulnerability, and transformation, today we do a bit of a switch.

When I write my memoirs, I sometimes forget about the moments of real joy. I've had quite a traumatic life, and it's easy to focus on the difficult parts. But life is not all about the downs. And here's the thing that still surprises me: I often look back at terrible experiences — difficult relationships, painful losses — and find that I am deeply, genuinely grateful for them. Because those experiences brought me to where I am today. If I hadn't had that, I wouldn't have what I have now. And what I have now fills me with joy.

Not everything in those difficult times was horrible. When you surf through the muck, you can find moments of peace, glimpses of beauty that sustained you. Today, we find those moments.

Your Task

Reflect on three moments of pure joy or deep gratitude from your life. Write about these experiences and their lasting impact.

Reflection Prompts

• Write about a time when you experienced pure bliss or delight in a simple moment. There will be something there, I promise — maybe watching a sunrise, walking beside a river, feeling your emotions settle and just being happy in that moment.

• Describe an instance when you felt overwhelming gratitude towards someone or something.

• Reflect on a moment when you experienced a deep sense of contentment or inner peace. Mine? This morning. I took my dogs for a walk to the top of the world — I live in the hills in Spain — and while they ran around, I looked at what Mother Nature has created. I'm grateful for everything. Even the horrible things that brought me here.

Writing Exercise

Choose one of the joy or gratitude moments you wrote about and write a short descriptive piece capturing the essence of that experience.

Don't just tell your reader about the moment — show them. Instead of writing "I was happy," describe it: what did you see? What sounds were around you? What could you smell, taste, touch? What sensations moved through your body? What thoughts were flowing through your mind?

Think about watching a film or reading a novel — the author gives you enough rich detail that you can imagine, sense, and feel the scene. That's what we're creating here.

Tip

Your memoir needs moments of joy and gratitude to breathe. Readers can't sustain tension without relief — it's pacing. Think of a film with eerie music playing without pause. You need moments of peace before the next wave of action. These lighter moments also show what you were fighting for, and make the difficult moments more powerful by contrast.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 8 handout covers the craft of show and tell — two of the most powerful tools in memoir writing. It includes clear examples of telling, showing, and combining both, as well as guidance on pacing: knowing when to slow down and when to move quickly through your story. It's one of the most practical handouts in the whole course. Download it and study the examples.

Day 9: Legacy and Impact

Your Big Why

Today we explore the heart of why you're writing this memoir.

When I talk about legacy, I don't mean only what you leave behind when you're gone. I mean the legacy that lives on in every person who picks up your book and reads it. The legacy that continues because they've had the opportunity to meet you through your words.

When people read your book and see what was possible for you, they know what's possible for them. So what do you want to make possible?

Your Task

Write about the legacy you hope to leave behind and the impact you wish to make on others.

Reflection Prompts

• Reflect on the values or principles you want to pass on to future generations through your memoir.

• Write about the impact you hope to make with your story. If you're writing this book as a foundation for something else — speaking, courses, coaching, workshops — what's that impact? Whose lives do you want to change?

• Describe what leaving a legacy with your memoir means to you. This question will help you enormously when you write your book description and any marketing material.

Writing Exercise

Remember the personal manifesto you wrote on Day 2? Now we go deeper.

Write a legacy manifesto: the impact you aspire to create, the specific actions or values you want to embody, what you hope your legacy will achieve, and what steps you have taken or will take to make sure it lives on.

This is your north star. When you know your why, that clarity infuses every word you write.

Tip

Your memoir isn't just about looking back — it's about reaching forward. It's about taking everything you've learned, everything you've survived and celebrated, and offering it as a gift to those who need it. Consider not only what you hope your legacy will be, but also what actions you are taking to build it. That commitment becomes part of your narrative.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 9 handout explores legacy and impact in depth — with examples of memoirs that have left a lasting mark and the actions their authors took to make that happen. It will help you articulate your own legacy and understand how to let that purpose shape your memoir from beginning to end. Download it and let it open something up.

Day 10: Writing Your Truth

The Most Courageous Act of All

Today is about the heart of memoir: writing your truth.

This can be contentious territory. It requires thinking carefully about how you express your truth while being mindful of your moral and legal obligations to others. But it also requires courage, and a willingness to share from the deepest, most vulnerable parts of yourself.

What matters: you're not writing this memoir to slate people or settle scores. You're telling your story, from your heart, as you lived it. Your perspective. Your feelings. Your truth.

Right here, right now, in your journal? This is about getting your raw and utter truth out. No one else needs to read this. This is your safe space to be completely honest.

I want to share something with you. As I made these videos, I was in the process of replanning my own memoir, writing some of these stories in my journal. It's massively important to me. And yes, I have fears — what are people going to think? But it's all in the past, and it's what shaped me. It's what shaped you too.

Your Task

Write a personal reflection on your memoir journey, expressing your commitment to writing your truth. What does it really mean to you to get your story out, your way?

Reflection Prompts

Reflect on the importance of being fully honest and open in sharing your story.

• Write about any fears or reservations you have about writing your memoir. So many people say "I can't write this because X or Y is still alive." Get those fears out now. Write them down, and later, during the editing stage, you can work out how to handle sensitive material in a way that honours your truth while remaining legal and moral.

• Describe what it means to you to share your truth. For me, it's like breaking away chains that have held me down. You might feel the same — or completely different. What does it mean for you?

Writing Exercise

Choose one aspect of your memoir journey over these ten days that stood out — something about writing your truth — and write a short reflective piece about its significance.

What moment surprised you? What revelation changed how you see your story? What fear did you confront? What truth emerged that you hadn't fully acknowledged before?

Tip

Memoir is a human story. And this beautiful package that is you comes with flaws, doubts, and imperfections. All of those things. That's what makes you the incredible person you are, sitting here on the verge of getting your story out. Stay true to yourself. Stay true to your experiences. The quality of your memoir will come from the honesty you bring to every page.

Go Deeper — Download Your Handout

Your Day 10 handout covers authenticity as the cornerstone of memoir — truthfulness, self-reflection, emotional honesty, the uniqueness of your voice, and the ethical considerations that come with writing about real people and real events. It also touches on how to be transparent about memory and resist the temptation to embellish. Everything you need to write with courage and integrity is in there. Download it and carry it with you.

Time for Reflection

Pause. Breathe. Look Back at What You've Uncovered

You've reached the end of the 10 days - congratulations! Before you move forward to the next stage of your memoir journey, it's time to reflect on what you've discovered.

Reflection isn't just a nice-to-have - it's essential. This is when the "aha" moments come, when the pieces of the jigsaw start fitting together, when you begin to see patterns and themes you didn't notice while you were writing.

How to Reflect

Everyone reflects differently. Here are some approaches that work:

Read Through Your Journal

• Set aside uninterrupted time (at least an hour, ideally more)

• Read everything you've written over the past 10 days

• Notice what surprises you, what moves you, what feels significant

Take Notes

• Jot down recurring themes or patterns

• Mark passages that feel particularly powerful or true

• Identify stories that want to be told more fully

• Note any new memories that surface as you read

Move Your Body

• Go for a walk (my favorite method!)

• As you move, think about what you've written

• Let ideas flow—the physical movement often unlocks mental connections

• Being in nature, in the arms of Mother Earth, can be especially powerful for processing

Rewrite or Expand

• Some pieces might call to you to be rewritten or developed further

• Don't judge - just let your hand move and see what emerges

• You might discover that some of what you wrote over these 10 days could become standalone stories or even separate chapters

What to Look For

As you reflect, ask yourself:

• What themes keep appearing in my writing?

• Which memories or experiences feel most charged with emotion?

• What surprised me about my own story?

• Where do I see transformation happening?

• What patterns do I notice in how I've dealt with challenges?

• Which relationships shaped me most profoundly?

• What's the throughline connecting these different moments?

• What story is trying to be told?

The Gift of Perspective

Looking back at what you've written gives you something you didn't have in the moment of writing: perspective. You can now see your experiences not as isolated events, but as part of a larger narrative arc—your transformation, your journey, your story.

Take Your Time

Don't rush this. Reflection is valuable, enlightening work. Some people spend a day on this. Others take a week. Honor what feels right for you.

This reflection time will help you understand not just what happened in your life, but what it all means—and that's what will make your memoir compelling.

You're Ready for the Next Step

Once you've reflected on these 10 days of exploration, you'll be ready to move forward with clarity about:

• The story you want to tell

• The themes that matter most

• The transformation you want to share

• The impact you want to make

Happy reflecting. I think you'll find it quite an enlightening experience.

Your Memoir Story List

Creating a story list is one effective way to get your memoir story out of your head and onto paper as a stream of consciousness. This exercise allows you to capture the essence of your narrative without being hindered by structure or organisation. Here's how you can create your story list:

• Choose a quiet environment where you can focus without distractions. Settle into a comfortable position, ensuring you have a beautiful journal and pen to hand. For me, this would be tucked up in bed with my furry family.

• Start by setting a timer for a specific duration, perhaps 15 or 30 minutes. This time limit will encourage you to write continuously without self-editing or overthinking. You could use Brain.FM and the creativity program.

• Start with a prompt or simply the words "My memoir story list." Then, let your thoughts flow freely. Write down everything that comes to mind—memories, significant events, people, places, emotions, milestones, or any other aspects that are relevant to your memoir. Don't worry about grammar, punctuation, or coherence at this stage; the goal is to capture the raw essence of your story.

• As you write, resist the urge to evaluate or criticise your ideas. Judgement is not allowed. Allow your thoughts to stream onto the paper without filtering or censoring. If you get stuck, write "and then" or "I remember" to keep the momentum going. I love this part because it gives me things that I can chat about with my mum, who will add her perspective and stories and off we go again.

• If certain memories trigger related thoughts or associations, follow those tangents. Let your mind wander freely, and write down any additional details or connections that come to mind. This process can uncover hidden gems or reveal unexpected threads in your story. This is also a fave part. I love going off on tangents.

• Recall the emotions associated with different events or experiences. Write about how you felt during specific moments- joy, sadness, fear, or any other intense emotional state. The emotional landscape of your memoir adds depth and resonance to your narrative. A word of caution here: if stuff comes up, you may want to or need to talk these things through. I once was writing about an incident which had incited anger. As I went off on a tangent, it unlocked the door to something I needed support with. Never be afraid to ask for help.

• Remember that this exercise aims to get your story out of your head, so include everything that comes to mind, regardless of perceived importance. Even seemingly mundane or trivial details can serve as valuable building blocks for your memoir.

• If you experience a brief pause or get stuck on a particular memory, keep your pen moving. Write anything—random thoughts, observations, or even questions to explore later. The goal is to maintain a continuous flow of writing.

• Once the timer goes off, go and do something to change your state and take a moment to review what you have written. Read through your story list, allowing the words to sink in. Reflect on the memories and connections you've captured. This initial stream-of-consciousness writing can serve as a foundation for further exploration and structuring of your memoir.

Creating a story list through a stream of consciousness exercise is an excellent way to release the floodgates of your memories and experiences. It frees you from the constraints of structure and allows your authentic voice to emerge. Use this list as a starting point to dive deeper into individual stories, expand upon significant events, and uncover your memoir's underlying themes and messages. And on that note, what themes do you see emerging?

This is just the beginning of your memoir journey. Embrace the process, allow yourself to explore, and trust that the stories within you will find their way onto the pages.

Thank you for taking this course. Please do take a look at my other courses and especially The write your life story - turning memories into memoir course as this will take you all the way through to publishing your book.