It's weird, but I'm kind of a big "relationship guru" in Germany.
As of today, I have sold 25,229 courses that I have produced. Courses onhow to meet women, how to get sexual with women, how to be more assertive, and how to master relationships with all the problems involved (jealousy, having a crush, getting over your ex, telling that cute co-worker of yours that you are fantasizing about her at night, etc. :)).
There are also 100,775 men subscribed to my German language weekly newsletter.
And this is weird.
Because until I was 25, I hadn't even kissed a girl!
People until then have asked me for advice on computer things, or on legal matters. But certainly never on women, sex or relationships. :-)
The thing is:
I am a natural introvert, and a romantic.
I am also a geek. I love computers, and have spent years of my life in front of them. I love electronics, and I love the cool, dry nitty-gritty of German law.
I know, I know – it'll be surprising for you to hear… but none of that helped me with women.
My usual romantic routine would look something like this:
I would fall in love with a girl. Usually a girl from school, or later from university or from work. Then I would pursue her for months. Sometimes for years. I'd make her gifts. I'd have tons of romantic fantasies. Sexual fantasies, too. But when talking to her, I would always feel self-conscious. Nothing I'd say to her would ever sound quite right. And in the end, the woman would "like me as a friend" – and go on to date some jackass, who treated her so much worse than I ever would.
Now I though that all of that was happening to me because I wasn't good looking enough. Because I wasn't tall enough. Because I wasn't strong enough. And because I wasn't rich and successful enough.
The reality is that I was sabotaging myself.
I sucked with women because…
1. Being a "thinking type", emotions were my weak spot,
and I was very insecure in this area, and
2. I really didn't know what women wanted or needed in
order to feel attraction.
At one point, I had finished University, I now had money, I was successful in my law carreer – and yet I was still single, and still completely clueless about women. I also had zero sexual experience.
So I had to do something.
And I did:
I traveled, and I stayed in foreign cities, just by myself, for two or three months at a time.
I did heavy online dating - messaging thousands of women, trying out what works and what doesn't work.
I bough pick up books, and I spent around $15,000 on seminars and coachings. Most of which was very interesting stuff. After all, figuring stuff out in my head is what I love to do! However, it all was way too complicated, and felt inauthentic and mechanical when applied to women that I was interested in.
Eventually, I figured out the things that worked FOR ME.
Things that are easy. That are very simple. That don't require you to talk much. And that are quick, honest, and very to the point.
Since then, my dating life has been a blast. I've dated women I met randomly on the street. I've dated a major actress from a popular U.S. television show. I've been invited by a woman I met at Frankfurt airport to visit her in Portugal for a weekend (and she made it very clear that she wasn't interested in giving me a tour of a city, if you know what I mean).
This may sound like bragging – but I'm really so excited about having discovered something that, for the first 25 years of my life, I hadn't thought were possible!
I have since learned a lot from Jungian psychology. Jungian psychology centers around the idea that what you experience outside often is a reflection of your inside. The Jungians also have this concept of the man with a "mother complex" which keeps him from being successful in finding a sexual partner because he unconsciously sabotages his own chances of getting with a woman. And they have the concept of "the shadow" – which is the unexpressed part of your personality. So if you're a thinking type (like me), chances are that relationships are your Achilles heel.
I am also a big believer in behavioral psychology:
It is all good and well if you understand WHY you suck with women. But you also need to know WHAT TO ACTUALLY DO to change it.
So you're invited to check out my courses. They all come with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee.
Among the buyers of my courses there are 10 times the number of guys who are Myers-Briggs-Type INTJ (= my type) than there are in the general population.
(We also have an unusual number of INFPs, ENTPs, INFJs and ISTPs. What we rarely have are the feeling types – which isn't surprising, because if you're a feeling type, relationships with women will come natural to you, and you don't need someone to analyze them for you.)
I live with my beautiful wife in the hometown of J.S. Bach, Leipzig, Germany.