Emotional Intelligence - Framework & Definitions

Graham Nicholls
A free video tutorial from Graham Nicholls
Best Selling Instructor - Emotional & Behavioural Therapies
4.7 instructor rating • 31 courses • 84,280 students

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Practitioner Cert (ACCREDITED)

Uncover the powerful Emotional Intelligence change framework & help yourself and others with Emotional Intelligence

08:45:21 of on-demand video • Updated February 2021

  • Discover how to use Emotional Intelligence to help yourself and others
  • Learn how to improve your own Emotional Intelligence
  • Unlock the powerful tools & strategies of emotional intelligence to help yourself & others through emotional turmoil
  • Emotional Intelligence can be used to help with anxiety, depression, stress, overwhelm and many more emotional issues
  • PLUS: Get a fully downloadable audio version of the course so you can learn on the go
English [Auto] OK let's dig in here and look out the five part emotional intelligence framework. This is what emotional intelligence is built around faith is what this course is built around. And I think you'll see as we go further through the course that we cover each of these five areas in detail. Let's have a look at them. So you get an idea of where the framework is leading us. We start with the top there with self awareness. Suddenly people around the world don't really know who they are. I know that sounds like a really strange thing. But if I was to ask you now who are you. How would you describe yourself. You see most people who would describe themselves in what they do they'd say they're a coach or they're a lawyer or a solicitor or an accountant or a factory worker or a musician. They describe themselves as what they do. The truth is we are so much more than that inside of ourselves but also the truth is that self-awareness isn't just about who we are. Self-awareness is about being aware of ourselves our emotions our behaviors our actions on a constant basis. Being aware of where we are what we're doing how we're acting how we're reacting and I use actions and reactions and awful lot around my courses. You've seen in the murder courses you have heard me speak about them quite a lot. Our actions and our reactions are key to who we are. Our actions are about how behaviors what we're doing in the world. Now reactions are about our emotions how we're reacting to the situations that come up when we're aware when we are self-aware we can choose our actions we choose our behaviors that are appropriate to the situation and we also choose our emotions that are appropriate to any situation. It's about having that awareness to be able to go. How do I need to react in this situation situation. Or how do I need to act in this situation. What's an appropriate emotion at the moment. Is it to be forthright and angry or is it to step back and go OK. How do I solve this and have a more calmer emotion. That is what self-awareness is about. It's not just about knowing ourselves although that's very important and we will cover that when we get to the self awareness section. But it's about knowing ourselves knowing how we're going to react feeling an emotion coming up on us and being able to go hang on a second. I need to stop that just for a moment. How best to react in this situation. That's where self-awareness is so critical as we move around the circle here. We then get to the point of self management self-management is the next step home from self-awareness it's OK to be aware but the management of that awareness and the management of those actions and reactions I was just talking about are absolutely critical. It's also about how we manage ourselves on a daily basis how we get up in the morning how we react to the world around us how we react when we go to work or where when we're in a situation with a friend or in a situation with strangers who which is meeting for the first time it's about our management of emotion but management of behavior as well. That's where self-management comes in. As we move around the circle and we come to motivation and resilience This is something that some people really struggle with particularly the resilience aspect. Lots of people will say oh just don't have the motivation. The truth is and you'll find this out during the session. Motivation is nothing more than an emotion in itself. Motivation is about having the right thought process to put the right emotion into place to do what you need to do in that time. It's about having realizing the purpose behind what you're doing. If it's cleaning the house let's give an example of cleaning the house. I'm not a fan of housework. I hold my hands up to it. I'm not a fan. But you know what. I want a clean and tidy house. So I find the motivation to do it even though I don't like doing it. I find the motivation on the other hand there are some things that in some areas motivation comes easily making these courses recording these courses editing them. Motivation comes easy because I know that it's fulfilling a purpose within me but I know that I'm reaching out and helping you. And then hopefully you're reaching out and helping others. That makes my motivation to do these courses so much greater than my motivation to do the housework. Of course my motivation to do the housework usually involves my wife's toe going up my backside and going get on with it. GRAHAM That's a different form motivation. Fear maybe no. But resilience is so important if you want to actually achieve something again. So many people around the world try something it doesn't work out well I'll give up on that then or I try something it doesn't work. So they try a little bit harder it still doesn't work. Oh well I'll give up then I'll go and try something else. There's an old phrase that I picked up many years ago that I absolutely love and I use day to day and that's get in line. Stay in line. It's as simple as that if you want something bad enough you'll get in line and stay in line for it. You'll work at it as hard as you can. You'll give everything out to the universe that you want to give and then get it back when you get to your results. But that's about having resilience that's about soccer like people use the the metaphor of a boxing me it is about taking the punch be an hour to stand back up and throw a punch back. It's about going on a walk and tripping over falling over but getting up and still carrying on walking. That's resilience. Many people don't have it. Many people just give up because they want the instant gratification culture has taken over the world. And sometimes things don't come instantly in fact very often they don't come instantly. We have to work at it. That's where resilience comes in. Those three that kind of finish the the whole of us part of emotional intelligence and I spoke when we would talk about what is emotional intelligence and also the description I gave you from those two guys who first coined the expression was not just about us. It's about others as well. So we move after looking at us. We move into others and having empathy for others having empathy for what they're feeling what they may be feeling in a certain situation and being able to use that to connect with them to help them understand that some people won't know about emotional intelligence they will think and believe me there's a massive proportion of the world that think emotions are just something that happens to them they just think their emotions just wave over them like a tidal wave and I can't do anything about it. I just felt angry in that moment or I just felt depressed and sad in that moment or I just feel anxious in that moment or Oh I was really happy in that moment emotions aren't like that but having the empathy to understand that that's how people think. Understand looking at them paying attention to who they are paying attention to their reactions and actions in their face in their body language understanding what emotions they're going through at the moment and then being able to connect with them to help them through that. To have empathy of where they are and help them move further and that that's where empathy comes in. And then it's about our relationships and I'm not just talking here about our relationships with our wives or husbands boyfriends girlfriends I'm talking about our relationships with other people whether it be in a social situation where you know people or a social situation where you don't know anybody forming and building relationships understanding how to connect with people. It's a massive part of emotional intelligence. Having the intelligence to see somebody that you know and see they're upset I mean able to go over to them and connect with them build that relationship even stronger to help them through or to see somebody you don't know to have a client come in front to come with you in front of you and just feel depressed and connect with them but build a relationship so that they feel they can expand their lives and come out of it and you can help them through that. So that builds the framework and it is a really powerful strong framework. Imagine just for a moment if you will that you have a client comes to you and you work with them over six eight weeks or however many sessions you work with them with and when they leave you they have those five things a solid level if we were to write them out of ten for instance where one is absolutely none at all and ten is absolutely fulfilled. Imagine if they could write those five things all five of them at seven or eight and above they would have a pretty good life from that point on. They would move forward with it. Well I'm going to give you the tools and the strategies to be able to do just that. Imagine just for a moment if in all of those areas you felt that you could write it seven eight and above. Wouldn't that be something as well when you have a great life from that point on. Again as we dig into each section as we go forward the tools and the strategies are there for you to use in you to advance your own life to have the life that you choose a life on your terms so that you can then go on and help others. So now we've covered that. The framework of emotional intelligence we're going to keep going on still learn a bit more about our emotions as we move forward through this section before we get to the five sections on that framework. And we're gonna learn more about emotions in the very next video. So come on follow me across. And let's keep going in this course.