Why the Growth Mindset is the Core of Confidence

Joeel & Natalie Rivera
A free video tutorial from Joeel & Natalie Rivera
Top Udemy instructor with over 300,000 students
4.4 instructor rating • 84 courses • 281,691 students

Lecture description

Find out how you can help your clients develop the MINDSET that is at the core of genuine confidence and success! THIS IS THE #1 MOST IMPORTANT PART! Also included is a mindset assessment.

Learn more from the full course

Confidence Life Coach Certification & Confidence Blueprint

Confidence & Growth Mindset Strategies that will Help Your Life Coaching Clients Develop Unstoppable Confidence

06:00:17 of on-demand video • Updated November 2020

  • Understand the psychology behind self-confidence and true self-esteem
  • Use proven, step-by-step tools and strategies for helping clients overcome self-doubt and create true confidence
  • Help clients develop a growth mindset and a belief in their own resourcefulness
  • Give clients the confidence to quiet the inner critic and empower their self-talk
  • Help clients have the confidence to overcome paralysis and take action even when they’re feeling resistance or fear
  • Help clients develop the confidence and belief that they truly can do and become ANYTHING they want
  • Develop proven techniques and tools to boost confidence
  • Help clients develop competence which is what leads to true confidence
  • Understand the misconception around what confidence is to create long lasting confidence
English [Auto] In this video I'm going to go over developing a mindset of confidence developing confidence is developing an identity of someone who will take action and figure it out in order to have this identity. You have to believe that you have control over your life and that you'll take action. So there are two foundational psychological concepts here that need to be in place for this to happen for you. The first is called the locus of control which refers to what you believe is and is not within your control. So some people feel like life is simply happening to them like they're a victim of whatever it is that happens. They have an external locus of control. Now other people believe that they're in control of their lives. And even when something happens to them that appears to come from the outside they still are able to see that they do have power over the outcome. And this is an internal locus of control. So everyone varies how much control that they think that they have depending on different circumstances in their life. And so the question is how do you develop an internal locus of control and then feel empowered about your life. So this is where the second psychological principle comes in called bias towards action. Because if you feel like your life is like totally outside of your control you're unlikely to take action because you don't believe that it's going to make any difference. You have a bias towards inaction in that situation. So in order to overcome this you have to begin taking action and see what happens. So in the confidence in action section we're going to talk about the five second rule which is a great tool for helping you practice taking action. Now the goal is to act when you normally wouldn't. Which will lead to changes in the circumstances that you wouldn't have had otherwise and doing this over time shows yourself that you do have more influence over your life than you had formerly thought. You develop a bias towards action meaning you believe that you're the type of person who takes action to influence their own life. And then this in turn develops your internal locus of control and makes you feel empowered to direct your own life. It gives you confidence. But there is one underlying psychological principle that is even more important to understand. It's the core belief that ultimately determines your ability to have an internal locus of control and a bias towards action. It's the one key ingredient to developing confidence and it also happens to be the same belief that differentiates those who are successful from those who aren't. But it's not even just a belief it's a mind set. It's a way of looking at yourself and at life people who have this mindset are more resilient they're better at coping with failure and they're more likely to challenge themselves. Ultimately they're more confident. Those who do not have it are less resilient. They're poor at coping with failure and they avoid challenge that could reveal their flaws. So it sounds pretty important right. And it is. But before I tell you what it is. Let me tell you a quick story. So when I was in high school in college I didn't take credit for my good grades. In fact I almost felt guilty about them. I believed that I did well because I was naturally smart. I did better than others because I was smarter. I didn't like being praised or recognized because I felt bad making others feel inferior. I mean it wasn't their fault. They just weren't as lucky as me. And then when I went back to college full time to finally finish my degree I had an epiphany I realized that I acted differently than other people. I made different decisions. I considered that maybe I was more successful not simply because I was intelligent but because I put in effort. Maybe it was because of those times that I would stay home and work on my homework while my friends were out partying. Maybe it was that I paid attention in class and took great notes. Maybe it was because I cared about doing well and worked hard for my A's and then a couple of years later I was running a team coaching center and I was telling my business partner about this. And I was pointing out that my success as an entrepreneur was because I put the effort in to reflect and discover what I really wanted. I chose to go back to school. I was willing to start a business in my 20s. And her reaction was to put me down and shove me back into that same old box. She said I was able to do all these things because I was smarter. I was more privileged. It was easy for me and therefore I shouldn't take any credit. So the question is who was right. Now I also want you to consider this example that I'm going to tell you and how you would feel if it were you. Now imagine that you had a terrible day. You spilled coffee on your shirt on the way to work. You got a parking ticket on your lunch break and your boss reprimanded you for publishing a document with several major errors. How would you react. A. You feel bad about yourself for being clumsy unintelligent and unlucky. Except that this is just how your life tends to go or be B he'd be upset but you'd be thinking about how you probably should have gotten a better travel mug and been more careful where you parked and double check your work. Then I want you to consider these questions. If I told you that your intelligence like your IQ score is something about you that you can't change would you either a agree or maybe disagree and if I told you that talents are something that you're born with would you either a agree or B disagree. So did you answer mostly A's or B's to these questions. Before I tell you about the mindset I'm talking about here and what the A's and B's represent I don't want you to know the number one most important thing that you need to know about this mindset and that is if you don't already have this mindset. The good news is that you can learn it. In fact sometimes simply knowing about it can dramatically alter people's lives because it changes the way you look at yourself. Plus this entire course is designed to help you develop this mindset. And it's the piece that's missing from most programs about competence the belief system we're going to be talking about here is a growth mindset and the opposite way of thinking about the world is a fixed mindset. So if you answered all BS and you agreed with my epiphany then you have a growth mindset and if you answer to some days that's OK because your answers to those questions will be very different by the time you finish this course. So let me explain what this means. The research behind the growth mindset has been conducted by Carol Dweck Ph.D. who is a psychology professor at Stanford University. And in a nutshell the girl's mindset is a belief that your basic qualities including intelligence and talent can be cultivated through effort. This means that well people might be innately different with certain aptitudes and temperaments. The truth is that all aspects of a person's abilities and personality can be changed regardless of where your set point is. The fixed mindset on the other hand is a belief that these same characteristics are fixed at either burns or they become locked in by a certain age and this means that some people are just inherently more talented or intelligent than others and that's just the way that it is and they always will be. So if you feel like at least part of you believes that intelligence and talent are fixed then you're not alone because most people especially in the western world believe this because our culture teaches us that it's true. So it's not your fault emphasis is put on testing us to determine our intelligence. Also realize that just taking an IQ test or being graded in school no one stops to think that a single test taken on a certain day at a certain age cannot possibly predict how well you would do on the same test. Years later after learning more or when you're in a better mood or you've matured but we're taught that these tests identify what we've got and that's it we're stuck with it. We also live in a culture that is obsessed with natural talent. Now imagine two tennis players had an equal level of ability and were going to be competing in a match and you were told that one of them was a natural that barely even had to try and that the other one had to work 10 hours a day to perform at that same level. Who would you expect to win the match. The truth is the vast majority of people vote for the natural because we've been trained to value natural ability over cultivated ability and there are two problems with this. One is that in reality the people who work hard to develop their abilities far out when the naturals in the long run. The other problem is that if being a natural is so important it actually discourages the effort that it takes for those who have to work at it. And that's exactly what happens. People with a fixed mindset believe they'll always have the same level of talent regardless of how much effort they put in. They either got it or they don't. And because of this they spend a lot of effort trying to prove their abilities and intelligence. They want to look smart. So if they're not immediately good at something they stop doing it it's because they're in a constant quest to prove that they are talented or intelligent to a fixed mindset person. Effort is a bad thing. Having to work hard at something is a signal that you're not a natural talent and that you're not highly intelligent because if you were then you wouldn't have to try so hard. And as a result they don't challenge themselves. They don't like trying new things and so they never develop their potential. They're trapped reaching only as far as their current abilities can take them and they're trapped because to them failure is devastating. It means they are a failure and because they don't want to have to take on an identity as a failure they'll often blame others or the outside world when they do fail. And that's if they even allow themselves to try fixed minds that people find joy in being the best or being judged as being counted are smart now on the other hand growth mindset people see the world very differently. They believe that the more effort they put into something whether it's practicing or learning the better they will become if they're not good at something they see it as a sign that they have to work harder. They have little need to prove that they are talented or intelligent and instead are on a never ending quest to continue to grow and improve. How hard someone tries is actually how they measure a person's value. They enjoy the challenge and the challenge as an opportunity to learn something and expand their boundaries. And while they don't like failing they also don't ever believe that they are a failure because they felt they see failure as a learning experience growth mindset. People find joy in progress and learning. So what is important to know here is that if you didn't already know that you can change and improve your talents your skills your intelligence your characteristics your behaviors. Well now you know and it isn't just the studies behind the psychology of the growth mindset that back this up it's brain in neuroscience to it's not just your belief that you can change or that your actual abilities can change your brain changes to. So all these things that you didn't think you could do simply because you haven't done them yet they're all now possibilities or you again so in the next video I'm going to talk about how to develop a growth mindset and then we'll continue to address this through the rest of the course.