Stop Feeling Out of Control (Locus of Control Assessment)

Joeel & Natalie Rivera
A free video tutorial from Joeel & Natalie Rivera
Top Udemy instructor with over 200,000 students
4.4 instructor rating • 79 courses • 237,524 students

Lecture description

Do you feel out of control because you feel like you don't have control over your life OR do you believe you should have control buy you're frustrated the the world isn't cooperating? Find out how to take back control of what you CAN control.

Learn more from the full course

CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (Human Mind Owner’s Manual)

CBT: Take back your power, stop self-sabotage, reprogram your mind, master your emotions & stop negative thinking

04:50:37 of on-demand video • Updated June 2020

  • Stop self-sabotaging behaviors
  • Overcome procrastination and light a fire under your butt
  • Feel confident making hard decisions
  • Stop the incessant worrying
  • Silence your inner critic
  • Overcome fear that is holding you back
  • Manage anger, cope with stress, and minimize anxiety
  • Feel more peaceful, happy and optimistic
  • Stop feeling out of control
  • Take back your power
English [Auto] In this video I'm going to go over how to stuff feeling out of control by understanding your locus of control. So do you ever feel stuck or feel out of control and have you ever felt like your thoughts emotions or behaviors are happening to you or have you felt powerless over external situations such as times where you feel like you can't accomplish your goal because of external obstacles so you can end up feeling out of control for one of two very different reasons. The first is believing that you should be able to control or influence everything. So you try to control things that are outside of your influence including other people. It's frustrating when things don't go your way you blame yourself for everything even if there's nothing you could have done. You feel out of control because you're trying to control things that you literally cannot control. It's important to recognize that there are things that you do not have. Trover and then the second reason you can feel out of control is believing that you have no control. You fail to take control of what is within your influence because you don't believe that you have the power to make a difference. You tend to blame others or situations even for things that are clearly within your control. You don't take responsibility. You feel like a helpless victim of circumstances you feel out of control because you're giving away your power. So in CBT This is called a control fallacy which is a cognitive distortion aka a faulty way that your mind thinks when it believe something to be true when it's not. And we'll be getting more into cognitive distortions later on in the course in psychology. This is called a locus of control which means To what degree you do and don't believe things are within your control. So take the attached locus of control assessment to terminate your predisposition a person who has a predominant internal locus of control believes that they can or should be able to influence all of the events and outcomes of their life. On the other hand someone who has a predominantly external locus of control believes they have no control over practically anything that happens to them. Both extremes are unhealthy people with a balanced locus of control have a realistic view of what they do and do not have power over. And this is the goal. The truth is that there are certain areas of your life that you have control over and some that you don't. And by understanding what you can and cannot influence you can develop a more realistic expectation but you hope you stop feeling stuck powerless or out of control. You don't know what to focus your effort on that is within your control and what you can let yourself off the hook about. So there are three levels of influence like circles that have concentric rings. So things that you can directly control called Internal are the center. And then on the outside there's things that you have absolutely no control over called external. And then in-between are those things that you can influence. So there's somewhere between you have a little bit of control but not as much as internal things. So the internal circle includes the aspects of your life that are within your direct control which are things that are literally internal to you. So this means your thoughts your motions your choices and your behaviors knowing that things are within your control is absolutely vital for CBT to be effective. It might not feel like you're in control of your thoughts and emotions at times but that's what this course is for by learning the techniques in this course you will strengthen your ability to direct your thoughts keep your emotions in check. Redirect yourself back to a positive place quicker and have more deliberate control over your behavior. So then that external circle the third ring includes the things that are not within your control to any degree which could be things like society at large the weather the economy. Every single person that you do not know and many other larger scale issues these things might impact you but they are not worthy of any of your time effort worry thought focus or emotion because they're not within your control. When an expert role situation impacts you it's a signal that you need to look internally to determine what you can do about it which ultimately comes down to how you choose to react to these situations how you choose to view the situation and how you choose to act because of it. And so then in that center area the influence circle contains the aspect of life where there's somewhere in between there are areas that you do have some influence over to a small or a large degree. So while you might not be able to change the economy you do have some choice about where and how you spend your money and what you do to improve your employability within the economy. And then the options that you have with your career and while you cannot control politicians for example you do have the ability to influence government through voting especially at the low level. And while you cannot change the Earth's entire environment you can choose to recycle drive an energy efficient car or contact your representatives to encourage environmental policies that you believe in and why you cannot control all of society. You do have a choice how you respond to it and you can influence your own neighborhood or community through activism participating in government helping people in your community or neighborhood or even just being a good citizen. When it comes to other people you can not control them but you do have influence. The closer the person is to you the more influence you have. You can make someone nicer by being nicer to them but you cannot force them to be nicer and you can't force someone to change either. But you can inspire them to want to change by leading by example. But there is one very important point that you need to hear those internal experiences that we talked about our thoughts emotions and behaviors. Not only can we control them. We are the only ones who can control them. They are always 100 percent of our own responsibility and the reason why I say this is that most people believe that other people are to blame for how they feel. But the truth is that our reaction is ours. No one else can ever make us think feel or do anything. So while you can influence someone else do not try to influence someone else to change in order for you to feel better. That's your responsibility. Don't give that power away to anyone else. Even if you can influence a person to act differently in the short term which removes the trigger that is making you feel better in the moment. In the long run there will always be another person acting in a way that you don't like. There will always be an external situation that you wish you could control because it would make your life easier or happier or better. But the truth is that you cannot control those things. However this doesn't mean that you have no control because you can always control and choose what you think about the situation influence how you feel about it and choose how you respond which is the ultimate empowerment isn't it. Our goal with this course is for you to develop the ability to take responsibility for what is within your control. Starting with the way that you think the first thing that we need to address is the fact that you can learn how to think and act differently and then spend the rest of the course learning how our minds work how develop our awareness and our control and tools and techniques for getting in the drivers seat and driving our minds in the direction of our dreams.