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Unshakable Confidence: Become 100% Confident in Who You Are

Build unshakable self confidence and genuine self esteem by discovering the foundational truth about who you really are
4.5 (239 ratings)
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7,200 students enrolled
Created by Kain Ramsay
Last updated 11/2016
English English
$10 $195 95% off
4 days left at this price!
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
  • 9.5 hours on-demand video
  • 1 Article
  • 83 Supplemental Resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
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Authentic confidence gives us a foundation for making wise decisions, building strong relationships and conducting ourselves in a way that wins the trust, respect and admiration of others. Without a foundation of genuine confidence, most people unknowingly build their lives upon very unstable foundations.

Unshakable Confidence will take you on a comprehensive journey of self-discovery to discover the foundational truths about who you truly are. You'll establish a grounded understanding of yourself, your beliefs, how to take control of your emotions and build strong self esteem throughout every area in your life.

Throughout this course you'll discover how to:

  • Build Robust Self Esteem Upon the Foundational Truths of Who you Are.
  • Develop Authentic Inner Confidence & Enlarge Your Social Circles.
  • Eliminate Any Need You Have for Other Peoples Approval.
  • Overcome Fears of Rejection, Anxiety & Social Nervousness.
  • Maximise the Quality of Your Social & Professional Relationships.
  • Face Future Life Challenges With Greater Confidence & Ease.
  • Build Authentic Confidence That's Easily Recognised by Others.
  • Enhance Your Communication Skills for Greater Social Confidence.
  • And Much, Much More...

Throughout the course you'll discover how most low self esteem and confidence issues are the mere result of simple mis-perceptions that we develop about ourselves as children. You will become able to identify these misperceptions and correct them where necessary. Once the reasons for low self confidence are gone, they stay gone.

Insecurity and low self-esteem can make life unnecessarily hard. Building genuine confidence in who you are is crucial for enhancing your self esteem, your social confidence, and your general wellbeing in life. Once you understand the reasons for low self esteem and how to overcome it, you will be able to implement your newfound confidence in all areas of your life immediately.

You'll discover the primary factors that trigger low confidence, and come to understand how embracing the truth about who we are, sets us free to take greater risks, think greater thoughts and live out our lives with Unshakable Confidence.

Unshakable Confidence: The Ultimate Self Esteem Programme comes with a Full Money Back Guarantee, and if you're less that 100% satisfied, you can get a full refund within 30 days of purchase.

Who is the target audience?
  • Anybody (men, women, students, CEO's, entrepreneurs, etc.) Who are Ready to Become Everything That They Can Be in Life.
  • Life Coaches, NLP Practitioners, Therapists, Counsellors and Those Who Work With People Who Suffer With Low Confidence & Self Esteem.
  • Unshakable Confidence is for Anyone Who's Committed to Improving their Confidence and Self Esteem .
  • Men and Women Who Are Ready to Step Up, Step Out, Become Authentic & Make a Positive Impact in the World.
  • This course is designed for people of all ages and social backgrounds.
Students Who Viewed This Course Also Viewed
What Will I Learn?
Live Free From Needing Other People's Approval.
Face Life's Challenges With Greater Confidence and Ease.
Overcome Social Anxiety & Build Strong Social Confidence.
Apply Strategies that Reduce Your Minds Negative Self-Talk.
Communicate With Genuine Assertiveness and Confidence.
Care Far Less About Other What Other People Think of You.
Develop Unshakable Confidence & Genuine Self Esteem that Lasts.
Build your confidence and self esteem on the truth of who you are.
Access Unshakable Confidence Anytime in the Future When you Need it!
View Curriculum
  • Unshakable Confidence is thought provoking course for anyone who wants to genuine confidence and self esteem that lasts.
  • Internet Connection and Access to a Printer to Complete the Courses Workbooks and Exercises.
  • Unshakable Confidence is for Those Who Want to Improve their Confidence and Self Esteem. The Only Course Requirements are a Flexible Mindset, a Willingness to Consider New Ideas and a Genuine Interest in Personal Growth.
Curriculum For This Course
Expand All 67 Lectures Collapse All 67 Lectures 09:26:19
Introducing Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula
6 Lectures 23:58

Thanks for enrolling and welcome to the course!

The quality of an instructor is only ever one element of a good course, but what makes a course GREAT, is when students interact with each other and begin asking good questions.

At this stage, I'd just like to encourage you to get involved in the course discussions, and please don't hesitate to ask me questions whenever they arise.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Preview 04:35

I’d just like to take a few minutes here to help you orientate your way around the course, and make the most of this online eLearning experience.

In the additional materials section of the course which you’ll find either to the right of the screen or underneath this video, you’ll find an MP3 Audio version of each lecture, which you can download and do with as you will, you can listen to again on your Smartphone, tablet or iPod.

And I’ve also created a batch of workbooks, worksheets, exercises and eBooks that you can also download in the additional materials section. In this lecture, you’ll also find a course learning log/ journal that is broken down into a section for each lecture, where you can scribble down any notes, thoughts, ideas you get or A-ha moments.

Other than this, I hope that you find value in this course, as from the next video onwards, we’re going to begin to unpack and explore exactly what it takes to start living your life with Unshakable Confidence!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Preview 02:48

One of the primary questions that we'll be answering throughout this course is, What Creates Confidence?

Confidence always results from a 'belief that we have already developed', or more precisely, from one of 'three' particular beliefs that occur in one of what I call the three realms of confidence:

1) Belief in your competence.

(This typically takes place in fields in which you've already had training. )

2) Belief in your ability to learn and solve problems.

(This usually occurs in realms in which you've had no training. How do you develop a belief you can solve a problem when you see no path to the solution? )

3) Belief in your own intrinsic worth (self-worth)

From where do we derive our self-esteem? Unfortunately, even those of us with the healthiest sense of self-worth tend to build it upon shaky foundations.

We all face situations in life that sap and drain our confidence. So to live strong and successful lives, we need the kind of confidence that cannot be shaken by anything. And this is where we'll be going!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Preview 04:32

In this short video, I share a story about a guy who fall's into a hole that he's not able to climb his way out of. It goes something like this ...

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.

"A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

"Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.'

The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out.'

I guess that it's through finding our way OUT of the holes that we find ourselves in throughout life that qualifies us to share the strategies with others of HOW to climb out!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Jumping in the 'Hole' With You

We all think that we'd know confidence if we saw it ... right?

Isn't it what the person who speaks first and longest at the office meeting has? Isn't it what your friend who always seems so sure of their opinions has?

Despite common cultural beliefs and opinions, Confidence isn't about throwing your weight around or talking over people or always being the first to jump in. Confidence isn't an attitude at all. You know that old expression about something being all in your head? Well, when it comes to confidence the opposite is true. Confidence is about the actions you take and NOT about the postures you strike!

Having confidence is taking action. We all want to do or try certain things but fear they are just beyond our reach, and yet we worry about failing. Those nerves are normal – everyone has them.

The difference between a confident person and an unconfident person is simply that the confident person acts on their ambitions and desires and who does (not) let that fear of failure stop them.

the confident person acts on their ambitions and desires and who does (not) let that fear of failure stop them

And the notion of confidence as an action is a virtuous circle. The more we act, the more our confidence grows. We try something, and the next time round we feel a little bit easier about trying it again. Even if we fail we have learned something valuable, namely that taking the risk of trying didn't kill us. That's useful, confidence building knowledge.

I've spent a long time trying to define confidence for you, although you may not be able to fully understand this yet - I'm hoping that by the end of this course you'll have NAILED it!

Confidence is life's enabler – it is the quality that turns thoughts into action.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Busting the Confidence Myths

This Personality Quiz by Visual DNA is one of the most compelling quizzes you might ever take!

It'll help you to explore the different areas of your personality, your mindset, your attitudes towards money (and why they are the way they are), your relationships and so much more!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Exercise 1: The Visual DNA 'Personality' Quiz
The 1st Realm of Confidence | The Belief You Have in Your Own Competence
10 Lectures 01:43:07


Confidence always results from a belief—specifically, from one of three particular beliefs that occur in one of three different realms of confidence (which we will explore throughout the next three sections).

The 1st realm of confidence is the belief that you have in your competence. This typically occurs in realms in which you've had training. For example, I possess a great belief in my ability to teach and coach people, but not in my ability to sing (just ask my wife, Karen).

The repeated experience of success is what instills a belief in your competence (whether in teaching, cooking, singing, debate, relationships, parenting, reasoning, or whatever) and no other substitute will do.

Ultimate competence (or mastery), —may or may not take years to develop, but it always takes dedication, discipline, persistence, and a drive to improve continuously. But once you've achieved it, the confidence it brings is unshakable.

An area in which you've trained is the easiest realm in which to develop a genuine belief in your competence, and, therefore, confidence.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Preview 06:36

While I love a clean slate and a fresh start, I also appreciate everything I have done in my life up until now, the good and the bad.

Over the years, I have learned to deal with many situations, and I have grown to be very confident with myself. I do my best to live my life the way I want to live and not have others' opinions get in my way.

Here are what incredible thinkers and I believe are the top six kinds of confidence (although, only one of them is genuinely strong enough to sustain you in the long term)!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Preview 08:38

The term self-concept is used to refer to the ideal version of ourselves that we can see ourselves becoming someday.

Your self-worth is the value that you see in yourself. It does not necessarily have to reflect reality. For example, a person with an eating disorder may be thin but believe themselves to be fat and useless. A person's self-worth is affected by many factors, such as parental influences, friends, the media, etc.

Our self esteem is where our emotions enter the equation. The degree of hope that we have for our future self (self-concept), and how we see ourselves today (self-worth), will determine how we feel about ourselves (our self esteem).

In this lecture, I’ll do my very best to illustrate this in more detail.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Self Esteem, Self-Worth & Self-Concept Conundrum

Did you know that there are two very different states of human existence? The first state of existence is our 'being' (who we are), and the second state is our 'doing' (what we do).

Now I'm no mathematician, but in this lesson, I'd like to offer you two equations. One of which you'll already be living by, and only one of them you won't. These are:

a) What I do + How well I do what I do = Who I am,

b) Who I am + How I am who I am = What I do

One of these equations will keep you in the prison of 'not being good enough yet', and the other will allow you to live a full, vibrant, exciting and fulfilling life of purpose. My friends, the choice, is yours!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The 2 States of Human Existence (Being V's Doing)

Your self esteem is a reflection of what you think & how you feel about yourself.

Use this quiz as a mirror & remember that once you're aware of your self esteem you can begin making new choices that will help you to develop your confidence. These questions are not really a 'proper' test, as there are no right or wrong answers and everyone will answer them differently.

They have just been designed to help you understand what you currently believe about yourself

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Exercise 2: The 'How is Your Self Esteem' Quiz

The time comes when we must stop aiming for perfection and start realising that we all have flaws, we all make mistakes, and we are all human.

No matter what appears on the outside, there is always a story behind closed doors. If you want to look for people for inspiration, look for those who show them real selves, their flaws, their insecurities and all.

When you let go of the idea of being perfect, you will find so much more fulfilment in your life.

In this lecture, I'll share some of my backstory, to help you understand why I'll discuss many of the things I do throughout the rest of the course.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Identity Crisis: A Soldiers Tale

What's the difference between confidence and self esteem?

There's a distinct correlation between confidence and self esteem. If you have high self esteem, you are likely to be a more confident person too .... but not always!

Andre Agassi is a classic example of someone who was entirely confident of their ability to play great tennis but was riddled with anxiety throughout most of the other areas in his life.

Programs in schools and therapy offices have focused on getting people to believe they were great human beings. Everyone, we were told, was a winner, perfect just as they were. The trouble with that is that just telling people it didn't build solid self-worth, it wasn't based on a foundation of concrete results. So, the self esteem was fragile.

The virtue of confidence is that it is constructed on solid achievements. Say you want to learn to swim but you don't believe you will be any good – so you take lessons, practice and sure enough if you put in the effort and learn to swim.

Now, you will never be an Olympic swimmer, but you will learn to swim across the lake. And you have built your confidence because you have mastered a task you found daunting.

The point I'm leading towards is this: If you have confidence in even only ONE small area of your life - it's because you've invested time into MASTERING something ... and if you can master SOMETHING ... you can MASTER ANYTHING!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Timeline of Learning Our Beliefs

The world of psychology describes comparative judgement as the judgments people make about whether there is a difference between two or more people (or stimuli).

Imagine how different your life would be, if instead of comparing yourself to other people all the time, you instead made a habit of comparing yourself to you?

See how much you have grown, what you've achieved, the progress you've made and how you have developed your abilities over the years. Imagine how you'd feel each day if you compared yourself to how you were 10 years ago?

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You'll feel much more confident about yourself without having to think quite as much about what other people think about you!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Comparison Trap (and Recognising False Confidence)

"What we do does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling." - Batman

There is a secret relationship between who we believe that we are and how we relate to others!

What we do in life is often determined by who we think we are, therefore, how we see ourselves will often determine how we conduct ourselves about others.

Growing to become secure in our identity will influence the way we behave and conduct ourselves with others. For example, if we see ourselves as Catholic, then we will act and behave in a way that compliments our beliefs as to how a Catholic should act and behave.

However, the danger is that if we choose to underscore and place a higher value in what we do rather than who we are, we might find our identity through what we produce, create, or our results.

We find our identity in our results; we might see ourselves as a Ph.D. degree holder or as a CEO, manager, leader, etc. We stand at risk of giving more emphasis to the role that we have that that of who we are.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Identity Glue: Are You Defined By What You Do?

Few facts about daily social life are quite as troubling as this one: very few of us have the faintest idea about how we’re coming across to others.

An iceberg can serve as a useful metaphor to understand how much of ourselves we choose to reveal to other people. As an iceberg floats in the water, the huge mass of it remains below the surface.

Only a small percentage of the whole iceberg is visible above the surface, and the largest and most influential part remains unseen below the surface. In the same way, each of us will often have a part of ourselves that we reveal to others, with the larger part of ourselves being deeply submerged that no-one ever gets to see.

Complete this exercise to explore the parts of you that can be seen and experienced by others, the parts that can't, and the parts that you'd like others to see if you were to show them.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Exercise 3: What Lies Beneath Your Surface?
The 2nd Realm of Confidence | Belief in Your Ability to Learn & Solve Problems
13 Lectures 01:56:58

There is always a root to a problem, and there is a root to low self-esteem, but without identifying why or how it got there, we don't have the tools to eradicate it for good.

Story: As a man was passing some elephants in a zoo, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Failure is the most critical element of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Nature of Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever felt stressed about something?

Of course, you have ... most likely, you'll often have too much on your plate, where deadlines are looming, and people are counting on you. You are under a lot of pressure—so much that at times, you suspect the quality of your whole life suffers for it.

The difference between those who are successful in life and those who aren't is not whether or not you suffer from stress, but how you deal with it when you do.

To deal with life's problems most effectively ... you need a strategy!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

A Theory For Achieving Everything!

We all know that to become excellent at something, we must practice. Then practice some more.

Repetition is the mother of all skill and action is its father. This is a form of exercising that should be integrated at the simplest of habits but done with strategy. I say this because there is such a thing called bad practice that turns into bad habits. We want to avoid this.

Ever heard the saying “Practice makes perfect.” Allow me to change this for you. It is more correct to say “Practice makes habit.” Learning first hand how this saying is brought into our everyday lives.

Everything we do is training towards who we are and who we’ll become during the day to day grind, month to month planning and year to year goals. Giving up too early means that some mindsets still need to be born or strengthened. Don’t worry though. It is still salvageable…just don’t make it a habit of quitting.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Practice: The Mother of All Competence (and Confidence)

“Teacher, teach us to realize the shortness of life so that we may grow in appreciation of life, and of wisdom.” - Ancient Chinese Proverb

If you were to translate this old proverb more literally, you might come up with: “So teach us to number our days, that we might make wiser decisions about how we spend our time.”

What does it mean to number our days? It’s not the ability to count how many days we have lived or to predict how many days we have left. Numbering our days means realizing the brevity of life. It means knowing that we only have so many days on this earth, and therefore, we want to “seize the day,” living each day to the fullest.

However, to develop this life perspective, it can be useful to grasp a 'guest'imation about how many days we might (roughly) have left to live!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Exercise 4: Numbering Your Days (and Years)

From cells to whales, all living things progress through a natural cycle of birth, growth, and death.

At some point in this cycle, living things - like people - reach their "highest potential," and then their various abilities start to decline. The process of developing your potential can be called maturing.

Reflect on all the people you have known directly and by reputation. Can you think of several people who are or were extraordinarily able and productive in some ways? Do you feel they've reached their "highest potential"? Now identify several people you feel "could have done a lot more with their lives" - i.e. who have not reached their highest potential in your opinion. How do you measure that?

Each of us has a range of natural interests, talents, and abilities which we may or may not develop and use. These abilities vary from person to person, providing a rich social tapestry and shaping our relationships, organisations, and societies.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The 'How Tree's Grow' Principle

Life is like a Movie! You are your movie writer and at the same time, you are the principal actor. Did you know that there's a series of stages that healthy people go through in their journeys through life?

At each stage (which we'll often experience as Crisis) we tend to reassess and rebalance our life values priorities. It's helpful to know what some of these stages are so that when we pass through them we can be aware of what's happening and know that problems in life are standard.

Addressed with the right mindset these are stages of personal growth, the movement between stages is a progression. As we pass from one stage to the next, often with some difficult periods of transition, we learn and mature in the process. If we acknowledge and work through the issues of each successive stage, we become more balanced and mature human beings.

In this lecture, we'll explore the various levels and stages of life.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Levels and Stages of Life

How does we breakthrough our learning barriers and go on to achieve phenominal things in life?

In my experience, I have identified six breakthrough disciplines of unstoppable continuous learning.

The Continuous Learning Cycle:

1. The first element is HUMILITY. This character quality involves the recognition of needs and the realisation that one does NOT know everything that there is to know about life!

2. Humility leads to a second discipline: hunger or curiosity. This includes the drive and desire to learn and improve in some way.

3. The third element is actual learning. The importance of learning from and learning with other people is a crucial step in learning effectiveness. Bobby Clinton once said that the ability to learn is “the all-purpose tool, the Swiss Army knife, that leaders need to carry at all times.”

4 & 5. Teaching and leading are the fourth and fifth disciplines of unstoppable learning. I put them together since they are so interrelated - learning, teaching and leading are all 100% completely intertwined.

6. Feedback is the sixth discipline of unstoppable learning. As a leader is any area of life (family, work related, socially or influentially) is always teaching and leading, he or she must also be actively learning and developing.

The discipline of getting feedback demonstrates both a learning and growing posture. It then cycles back to humility and then hunger to improve the next time around.

“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” (JFK, 1963)

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Revolutionary Learning Process

"Every man gets a narrower and narrower field of knowledge in which he must be an expert to compete with other people. The specialist knows more and more, about less and less until he finally knows everything about nothing." - Konrad Lorenz

And by the way, it's totally OK to be an expert of nothing - all that you ever really need, is to be simply a few steps ahead of other people in your chosen area of influence.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Why It's OK To Be An Expert of Nothing!

Skeletons in the closet are often the Secrets and other memories that we prefer not to talk about with others.

These can range from one-night stands to betraying a best friend, to as much as killing someone!

However, "skeletal" moments don't just have to do with only dark pasts. It can also be about embarrassing moments you've had that you simply feel too awful to speak of.

When unaddressed, these skeletons can become like a noose around our necks, however, when self-disclosed ... they can you leave you feeling freer and more powerful than ever.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Skeletons In The Closet

Fear can be gripping, intense and paralysing in our lives. All of us has experienced it at some point in time.

Our emotions can often fall somewhere between a state of fear and trust. Therefore, the opposite of Fear is Trust, or as some people might define it, faith.

Fear is always based on an expectation of an adverse outcome, whereas faith builds its foundations upon the expectation of a positive and good outcome.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Confidence Principle: Fear V's Faith

The idea of faith is so central to living a dynamic and confident life, that it's worth producing it's own video over. I often hear people referring to faith as a mental state or religious belief. However, these definitions aren't particularly accurate.

Webster's dictionary gives several different definitions of faith. The first is "unquestioning belief that does not require proof." Another definition is "a religion or system of religious beliefs."

Those are the ways that most people today think of and use the word "faith" - as something believed without proof or a religion. Webster's also has the definition, "complete trust, confidence, or reliance." This last definition is closer to the way "faith" is used in the Bible, but even that definition is incomplete.

While I don't want to bore you here with a debate about the interpretation of a five letter word, the implications of it in your daily life can be profound when accurately understood.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Faith: A Verb, Not a Belief!

Did you know that the worst thing that anyone could ever say to you is ... I HATE YOU!

So, if you can get 'OK' with this, you can be OK with anything else that people throw at you too.

Pick a popular Twitter user and look at their @replies. Odds are they field their fair share of harsh comments. The higher you rise, the more attention you’ll receive, both positive and negative.

A willingness to be disliked will be more than enough to help you deal with any amount of scrutiny.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The ''I HATE YOU'' Principle

"This above all: to thine own self be true." - William Shakespeare

Authenticity is being your true self by being genuine and honest with yourself, owning your vulnerabilities and accepting the limitations of your humanness. Being authentic is living life to the ‘beat of your own drum’ and in alignment with your core values and purpose.

Download the attached worksheet for 50 steps to become more Unshakeably Authentic today ... and then highlight the top 5 that resonate with you the most.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Exercise 5: Developing Authenticity
The 3rd Realm of Confidence | Belief in Your Intrinsic Value
13 Lectures 01:56:34

We all compare ourselves to others. We spend our lives wondering what others think and say about us. Some of us even wish we were someone else.

We question why we are the way we are and not the way we wish we could be. Some of us have let the expectations of others dictate who we've become. We act a certain way to be accepted but know that we're being untrue.

But why are we so concerned with what other people think, say, or look like? What does it say about us if we are unable to accept who we are? Maybe if we knew our true selves, we wouldn't give so much attention to other peoples' lives and live more in tune with the life that we actually want to be living.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The 3rd Realm of Confidence & Defining Your Name

Here is one of my favourite inspirational tales.

It was not long after the Gods had created humankind that they very soon realised that they had made a huge mistake. The creatures that they had created were so adept, so skilful, so full of curiosity and the spirit of enquiry that it was only a matter of time before they would start to challenge the Gods themselves for supremacy.

To ensure their pre-eminence, the Gods held a large conference to discuss the issue. Gods were summoned from all over the known and unknown worlds. The debates were long, detailed, and soul-searching, and lasted well into the night.

They were all unanimous about one thing. What differentiated the Gods from the mortals that they had created were the differences between the quality of the resources they had. While humans had their egos and were concerned with the external, material aspects of the world, the Gods had spirit, soul, and an understanding of the workings of the inner self. The Gods realised that sooner or later the humans would want some of that too.

And so the Gods decided to hide their precious resources. The question was: where? This was the reason for the length and passion of the debates at the Great Conference of the Gods.

Some suggested hiding these resources at the top of the highest mountain. But it was realised that sooner or later the humans would scale such a mountain. And the deepest crater in the deepest ocean would be discovered. And mines would be sunk into the earth.

And the most impenetrable jungles would give up their secrets. And mechanical birds would explore the sky and space. And the moon and the planets would become tourist attractions. And even the wisest and most creative of the Gods fell silent as if every avenue had been explored and found wanting. Where on earth could they hide these precious resources?

And then, the Littlest God, who had been silent until now, spoke up. "Why don't we hide these resources inside each human? They will never think to look for them there."

So this was what they did. Many of us don't think to look at our own unique resources, but when we do we can often find our greatest and most impacting potential.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The Art of Looking Within

“The things you own can very quickly end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.” - Chuck Palahniuk.

There is more joy to be found in pursuing less than what there is in pursuing more. In many ways, this is a message that we already know to be true - but will often forget.

It’s just that, since the day we were born, many of us are told that owning more possessions equal happiness. And because we've heard this message so often and from so many angles, we grow to believe it. As a result, we spend our lives working long and gruelling hours, to make more money so that we can buy more stuff.

But when we again hear the simple message that there is more joy in pursuing less than can be found in pursuing more, it rings true in our hearts, because deep down, we already know it to be true.

We know that possessions don’t equal joy. And we know that our life is far too valuable to waste chasing them. But most commonly, this understanding doesn't prevent us from pursuing them!

Life is significant. Far more than success, our hearts desire significance because significance lasts forever. On the other hand, possessions are temporal. They perish, spoil, and fade away. And most of them are even designed this way. People who live their lives in pursuit of possessions are never content. They always desire newer, faster, or bigger because material possessions can never satisfy our deepest heart desires.

Be reminded that your life is far too valuable to waste chasing material possessions. And find more fulfilment today by choosing to give more, rather that to just get more.

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The 'Pint Glass' Principle

There are many reasons why you should do your best in everything you do. You could do your best:

  • To assist you in your career
  • To inspire those around you
  • To win the plaudits of others
  • Because you work for a noble cause
  • So that you stand out from the mediocrity around you
  • To be a great role-model for your kids
  • Because you’re afraid of failure
  • To develop your skills for the future

But generally, you should want to do your best in life just because you can.

If you’re not doing your best, then you’re operating at a lower level, you’re compromising your standards, and you’re setting yourself up to create bad habits and attitudes that accept consistently substandard performances.

Martin Luther King Jnr. said it best when he said: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

Every day, in every aspect of our lives, we have the option of doing our best work or something less. At those moments, there may be numerous excuses swimming around in your head that tell you not to give it your all.

But there’s still a compelling reason why you should do your very best that overrides them all. Because you can!

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Getting it Right - V's - Doing Our Best

Your self-concept (or self-image) is the total of all the knowledge and information that you currently have about yourself - it's the person you know you can be, could be, ought to be and want to be.

When you know, that who you are is bigger than just the set of ideas you hold about yourself you begin to see that you can change these ideas. You can change ideas (and actions) that result in poor self esteem, to ideas (and actions) that strengthen self esteem. When you bring your actions, thoughts and emotions into alignment your self esteem grows still further.

Your current self-image is just a collection of ideas and thoughts that you've had over the years that have led you to a conclusion about whether you are good enough or otherwise. How you rate these ideas (self esteem) is entirely up to you.

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Self Esteem - V's - Self Concept

Everyone moves either towards what they want or away from what they don't want.

For example, you might say you value wealth – it may be that you do indeed value money and move towards it, or you might be running away from your fear of poverty. You might say that you value love – again you might move towards love and are motivated by it, or you may just be running away from a fear of loneliness or abandonment.

Whether you move towards or away depends on your values. Values are what are important to us (not necessarily the things that we like).

Our values drive the motivation behind our actions and then help us judge what we have done. Our values determine our behaviour and what we choose to do with our time.

Our values are the things that we are constantly working towards meeting in life.

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Core Values: The Path to Inner Peace

As Human beings, we possess a unique ability to engage in emotional time travel by mentally fast forwarding through time to envision how we'll feel in future situations.

Emotional time travel isn't without its pitfalls, though! At the most obvious level, people may make inaccurate predictions about how they will feel in a situation because the situation unfolds differently than they expect.

Even if the situation people experience goes on to match the situation they imagined, people face a different psychological situation when they experience an event than when they imagine it. When people fail to understand this in life, they can end up living life on a highly strung 'emotional rollercoaster'.

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The Art Of Emotional Time Travel

You can change your circumstances, your situations or even your relationships, but if you don't change YOU, then nothing really changes at all.

The greatest transition that we can ever make in life is internal, mental, spiritual and emotional.

We must push through those moments where all seems lost. When we do, we can find a new us on the other side that is more beautiful and wise than we every imagined.

By working through these difficult changes in life, we grow into something new, better, stronger.

To paraphrase what the Rolling Stones said: You can't always get what you want, but you will always have what you need!

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The Art of Growing Up (How We Mature in Life)

Growing up, developing ourselves and maturing in life is a process that seldom comes without its fair share of problems and challenges.

In this lecture, I'd like to share with you the timeline of which we develop and grow. As understanding this allows us to understand far better where we've come from, and also understand where we're going in life.

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The Timeline of Personal Growth

There is a range of choices that we make every day which paints other people a picture of our degree of maturity, responsibility and character:

  1. Teaching Others – V’s – Just Being taught
  2. Self-Evaluation – V’s – Self-Criticism
  3. Desiring Growth Challenges – V’s – Desiring Pleasure & Happiness
  4. Careful Study & Observation – V’s – Seeking Opinions & Advice
  5. Active Faith – V’s - Cautious Apathy & Doubt
  6. Genuine Confidence & Passion – V’s – Fear & Insecurity
  7. Lifestyle Governed by Truth – V’s – Lifestyle Governed by Feelings
  8. Developing Self Awareness & Understanding – V’s – Indecisiveness & Procrastination

CHALLENGING VIDEO WARNING: I'll discuss each of these in more detail throughout this lecture.

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The Choices of Maturity and Character

FACTS, FAITH or FEELINGS ... What are the foundations of YOUR life?

These three things are vital in determining the quality of our lives. It's hugely important that we know something about each of them, but it is even more important that we get them in the right order and keep them there.

Most people will put their feelings first and, in turn, make the quality of their feelings provide a basis for the quality of their life, but that's like trying to build the roof of a house before laying the foundation. It just won't work that way!

The right order is facts, faith and then feelings. Facts form the foundation on which you build your life; your faith rests upon these facts, and your feelings will come last and come as a result of getting the first two in order. Let's look at these, one at a time.

The following Steve Job's quote give's us a perfect summary of what I'll be discussing in this video:

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

I know you'll catch my drift with this one!

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The Fact's, Feeling's, Faith Principle

The ‘Who Am I?’ quiz is another fascinating personality test from Visual DNA.

Drawing on the five-factor theory of personality, it will help you understand how open you are to new experiences, and learn how to get more from life by exploring the recurring patterns from your past.

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Exercise 6: The 'Who Am I' Quiz

Your Life is Affected by Your Attitude While your personal philosophy is what you know and how you think, your attitude is how you feel.

Use your past as a school, not as a club. Don’t beat yourself up with your past. Instead, look at your past as lessons that you can apply to do better in the present and in the future.

Here’s a quote from Jim Rohn: “Until we have finally accepted the fact that there is nothing we can do to change the past, our feelings of regret and remorse and bitterness will prevent us from designing a better future with the opportunity that is before us today.”

In this Physical Challenge, I'll set you a task that many people might find intimidating or scary, however, if you complete it, what you go on to learn might just be the turning point for the rest of your life!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Physical Challenge 1: Getting Hungy!
Building Confidence From the Inside-Out
7 Lectures 01:10:56

Worry, doubt, confusion, depression, anger and feelings of condemnation: all these are attacks on the mind that will negatively impact our confidence and self esteem.

It can be a hugely helpful thing to become fully aware of the extent of the battle that continuously goes on inside of our minds.

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The Battlefield Of The Mind

One way to grasp an understanding of how we are made is to be able to recognise that there are three parts of us, which are all entirely interconnected.

Firstly, we have a material part, which prevents our blood, bones and organs from merely becoming a pile of 'mush' on the floor, we call this our Body.

However, we also have two immaterial parts, which we'd call our soul (where the thoughts come in) and our spirit (which gives us our conscience). The following is my best possible effort at explaining our design and how the Spirit, Soul and Body are all interconnected.

As I will discuss further in the video's that follow, our thinking will 100% determine our emotional wellbeing, and our emotional well-being has a significant impact on our actions and behaviours.

It is ultimately our actions and responses that determine our life's outcomes and results – whether good or bad! So in this regard, our thought patterns play a significant role in our emotional and physical health.

Here, though, I'll do my very best to explain how all of this works...

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Let Me Formally Introduce You ... To You!

Do you tend to control the events in your life, or are events controlling you? The amount of stress you feel is directly related to how in control you feel about your life.

It’s easy to let other things take control of us – unless we take control of our minds. What we choose to focus on has a massive effect on how we feel. If you concentrate on the things you can’t control – such as the past, or what’s missing from your life – you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed. Even if you’re taking antidepressants, you’re still going to feel sad if you’re focusing on the things in your life that are out of your control!

Whatever you focus on, you will feel and experience at a stronger level. If you focus on why you have so many problems in your life, you will surely be able to come up with a long list of reasons.

If you focus on all the activities that are keeping you busy, you'll find yourself continuously adding more and more to your list. Focus on the results you are committed to, and you'll find yourself consistently moving toward the result you're after - and very often accomplishing them with a much shorter to-do list than you expected.

So, go with this exercise, ask discover how your feelings are 100% influenced by whatever you choose to focus on. This is an absolute and universal truth.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Physical Challenge 2: Emotional Acknowledgement

Is there anyone occupying a space in your head that they haven't paid any rent for?

If your peace of mind and your achievements in life are dependent upon someone else's actions, that person is in complete control of you, and you have freely given them your power.

The same principle applies to our expectations of money, materialistic possessions and promotions at work, status, rank or our achievements and failures. How many environmental circumstances and situations play a recurring role in determining your emotional wellbeing?

Because we've been conditioned from birth to believe in the myth of an outside-in world, we assume the path back to well-being and joy and peace of mind must be through getting a better job or a better partner or working on becoming a better person.

The irony is that the harder we work on changing ourselves to change the way we feel, the more distant we become from our real self, and the more important it seems to work on all those things on the outside of ourselves. As a result, the more lost and insecure we become.

So, regardless of what 'problem' we think we have, our only real issue is feeling cut off from the truth about 'who we are'. And the moment we reconnect to that fundamental truth, our problems stop being so problematic and we become able to move forward in life to a whole new level.

The formula is simple: your thoughts lead to your feelings, your feelings lead to your actions, and your actions produce your outcomes in life - whether good or bad!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Our Internal Processes: The Inside-Out Revolution

One of the most useless pieces of advice often delivered from life coaches, so called gurus and motivational speakers are this: Think positively.

This idea isn't a one-size-fits-all guide to life and can even end up adding considerably to your daily stress load. Not only because you have to tackle the obstacles you're already facing, but from here you also have to wrestle with any negative thoughts that you find yourself having about these barriers.

There is a better and more efficient way to live. Because there's something far more valuable than being naturally optimistic, happy, or upbeat—and it's cultivation of emotional agility. Your ability to be aware of and receptive to all kinds of shifts in thinking and the emotions they create, without getting toppled by them, is what will make you the kind of person that you need to be.

We all want to succeed and Breakthrough in life, but the answer is not spending all our time hunting down and killing our negative thoughts; it's to rise above and begin recognising that, come good or ill, our values sustain us in a much stronger way than positive thinking ever could.

As much as we like to hear positive messages about ourselves, we crave the sense of being an authentic and consistent self in the first place.

Here, I'll offer you an idea that stands to be greater than ALL the positive thinking in the world!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Thoughts: The Mother of All Insecurity

Emotional mastery is the key to living a life that you are 100% in control of.

The capacity to have absolute direct power over what you feel in every single moment (despite what's happening around you) is one of the most important skill sets you can have.

Whatever you feel, you're not feeling it because you have to feel it. You're feeling it because you've chosen to focus on something that you don't want (or don't value). In order to master your emotions and consciously choose the emotions you want to live in, you need to understand the order of your emotions, how they work and also how to read them!

Emotion is created by motion.Where your focus goes, your energy will flow. And where energy flows, whatever you're focusing on grows. In other words, your life is controlled by what you focus on. That's why you need to focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. When you next find yourself in a state of uncertainty, resist your fear.

Shift your focus toward where you want to go and your actions will take you in that direction. By becoming competent at understanding and mastering your emotions, you can choose to spend more time in positive and resourceful emotional conditions.

From these conditions, you'll become better at making more empowered decisions that will help you reach your greatest potential and in turn to BREAKTHROUGH whatever undesired circumstances that you face.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Emotional IQ: Developing Emotional Intelligence

“Procrastination, quite frankly, is an epidemic,” declares Jeffery Combs, the author of “The Procrastination Cure,” just one in a vast industry of self-help books selling ways to crush the beast.

The American Psychological Association estimates that 20 percent of American men and women are “chronic procrastinators.” Figures place the amount of money lost in the United States to procrastinating employees at trillions of dollars a year.

We are where we are today because of the choices we have made so far. Unwise choices repeated over and over lead to failure. Wise choices regularly repeated result in success. It's pretty much that simple.

But what do we do with the unwise decisions we've made in the past? And more importantly, what do we do with the rash decisions we might make in the future? Do rash decisions mean our future is destined to hit a dead end?

In most cases, success is the result of wisdom and sound judgment. Wisdom and good judgment come from experience and experience are often the result of mistakes we have made in the past because of poor judgment. As Will Rogers said, “Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

What all of this means to you and me is that the experience gained from all our bad judgment and mistakes is unbelievable valuable. In fact, our greatest teacher is the failure!

So, if you have made a mistake recently and you're wondering how to be successful in the midst of it all, don't waste time beating yourself up. Instead, put on your learning cap and do what successful people do. Use the power of choice!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Procrastination: The Enemy From Within
The Foundations For Authentic Confidence & Genuine Self Esteem
10 Lectures 01:19:00

Most people want their identity to be compatible with those around them so that they don't stand out and so that they don't end up ostracised in the company of others.

They shape their character concerning others, not themselves. How many genuine “individuals” are there i.e. people who define themselves by their standards, rules, and values? In today's modern culture, unfortunately, the answer is; not many!

So ... if I was to ask you the question, 'Who are You?'

What would you say?

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The Toughest Question in the World!

Most who have experienced an education, have done so in the context of studying a particular subject. The classroom setting is one of the most common forms of education in a public setting, where students gather to receive instruction from their teacher about a particular topic that interests them.

When forming personal beliefs, we often interpret facts through the filter of our values, feelings, preferences, and past experiences. Hence, most statements we make when communicating with others are assertions of fact, opinion, belief, or prejudice. The usefulness of a statement can be approved or diminished by the nature of the statement, depending on which of the following categories it falls into:

A fact is verifiable. We can determine whether it is true by researching the evidence. This may involve numbers, dates or even someone else's testimony. However, facts by themselves are worthless unless we put them in context, draw conclusions, and, thus, give them meaning.

An opinion is a judgment based on the best of the facts that we have. They are an honest attempt to draw a conclusion from the information we have been given. Opinions are often changeable, and by themselves, opinions have little power to convince other people.

Unlike an opinion, a belief is a conviction based on our cultural or personal faith, morality, or values. Beliefs cannot be disproved or even contested in a rational or logical manner. Since beliefs are inarguable, they cannot serve as the basis for any healthy discussion.

What would happen and what do you think that the outcomes would be if you spent the rest of your life becoming a student of truth, instead of a student of theory, opinion, and general information?

Truth alone beats theory, opinion and information 'hands down'!

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On Becoming a Student of Truth ...

Whether we are consciously aware of them or not, we all have reference points.

These points dictate what we do in our life and who we become. We have reference points for every area of our existence. They are what we look up to and what guides us.

These reference points are what shape our path towards fulfilling our own destiny.

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Finding Balance: A Unique Reference Point For Life

There is only one set of foundations that you can build your life upon which is strong enough to sustain you, and this is the truth of who you are.

All of us have a public self that others see as well as our private thoughts and feelings, but we also have a deeper self which could be called the “core self.” Many people waste a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think or say about them. Some even try to control what others think or say about them, even though this is impossible to do and wastes a lot of energy!

Take, for example, Nelson Mandela, who spent 26 years in prison for trying to bring freedom to his people. He was beaten and mistreated by his jailers, but instead of reacting in anger or with resentment, Nelson Mandela treated his captors with respect and concern for their lives.

Why? Because he understood his core value, his core self, and was fundamentally secure in who he was.

If Mandela was able to do it, we are also able to do it too!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Core Identity Coaching: Part 1

PART 2 of 2: Core Identity Coaching

There is only one set of foundations that you can build your life upon which is strong enough to sustain you, and this is the truth of who you actually are.

All of us have a public self that others see as well as our private thoughts and feelings, but we also have a deeper self which could be called the “core self.” Many people waste a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think or say about them. Some even try to control what others think or say about them, even though this is impossible to do and wastes a lot of energy!

Take, for example, Nelson Mandela, who spent 26 years in prison for trying to bring freedom to his people. He was beaten and mistreated by his jailers, but instead of reacting in anger or with resentment, Nelson Mandela treated his captors with respect and concern for their lives.

Why? Because he understood his core value, his core self, and was fundamentally secure in who he was.

If Mandela was able to do it, we are also able to do it too!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Core Identity Coaching: Part 2

Exercise 7: What Will Your Tombstone Say?

Have you thought much about your tombstone lately? I think of my tombstone often, and it encourages, inspires, challenges and pushes me forward. Without a personal mission statement, people can only go so far in life and can very quickly find themselves in a place of stagnicity (either going around in circles or going nowhere at all!).

Use this exercise worksheet in the additional materials to develop a meaningful mission statement for the rest of your life (that determines how it is that you want to be remembered). Work to ensure that your life efforts mean something to the right people that mean the most to you.

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Exercise 7: Your Mission Statement For Life

This is perhaps one of the most simple, yet profound principles that I have grown to understand over the years ... I call it the 'good enough' principle.

"When people have low confidence or self-esteem, they often see their life experiences and the world around them as an extension of how they feel about themselves, and who they actually are!" - Kain Ramsay

Low self-esteem is often like a special language in our mental translation book, when we look up what certain things mean to us, we can often keep returning to the same (or a similar) meaning:

For example:

My parents didn’t stay together = There's something wrong with me = I’m not good enough

Someone's not interested in me = There's something wrong with me = I’m not good enough

I didn’t get the job I wanted = There's something wrong with me = I’m not good enough

And, this pattern of habitual thinking can follow us right through the extent of our life (if we let it).

In this 4th Exercise of the course, apply the exercise to your everyday life and consider what new answers you might start coming up with in relation to the above (or similar) questions you ask yourself.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

The "Good Enough" Principle

Consciously adopting your beliefs can begin to make your life amazing. Randomly or unconsciously collecting beliefs can very often make your life hell (especially if these beliefs are ill-considered).

When you actively seek out powerful beliefs, you can design a life that other people think is only for 'the chosen one's'.

The beliefs that shape your life are more like clothes you can try on or take off at any time. The difference with beliefs being that the “store” you get beliefs from is free and virtually unlimited. Your only confinement is your willingness to relax your pre-conceived assumptions and forever remain curious.

Some of the things I believe today, I would have thought to be insane some years ago. And at this stage of my life, I’m willing to test considering just about anything to see if it works.

I’d like to offer you one of the most powerful, life-altering beliefs I’ve collected along my journey, alongside two other common beliefs that many people build their lives upon.

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The 'BIG' Question & Your 'CORE' Belief

Being assertive can often feel like it’s easier said than done!

However, over time and with a whole lot of practice, it's possible for everyone to develop genuine confidence as well as increasing assertiveness.

This lecture describes the qualities of assertive behaviour, and explores its differences from passive and aggressive behaviour. You'll understand your own behavioural styles, those of others and develop achievable techniques for communicating and behaving more assertively.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Passive, Aggressive or Confidently Assertive?

Life Planning isn’t a new concept. Since the dawn of time, men and women, young and old have used Life Planning to plan and prepare for incredible feats of engineering, exploration, self-discovery and even war.

Imagine if Captain Cook or Christopher Columbus hadn’t made plans to go and explore the new world? Where would we be if the late Steve Jobs hadn’t planned to develop his unique brand of modern Apple technology?

Many of the great achievements of ancient civilizations would not exist without the driving force of a focused visionary with a goal to design and build them. We could consider some of the most famous military battles in history, which have also stemmed from a strategy that derived from an initial vision or simple goal.

Today, there are countless men and women who have made their mark on the world through effective life planning and goal setting.

Earlier on in the course I mentioned that 'People without a plan in life, will perish!' - so, I wanted to include this resource into the course as an added bonus to help you plan and prepare for the rest of your future.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Course Bonus: The Life Planning Workbook
Unshakable Confidence: Final Section & Closing Thoughts
7 Lectures 55:31

Our element is something that we must invest time into exploring, what is it that we love, what is it we're actually good at and what it is we enjoy doing so much that we can't help but share it with others.

This thing, whatever it is - we would do for sheer pleasure, whether we're paid for it or not - this thing is our direction, this is our purpose, THIS IS OUR ELEMENT!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Just Be Yourself Part 1: The Element

The world of psychology describes comparative judgement as the judgments people make about whether there is a difference between two or more people (or stimuli).

Imagine how different your life would be, if instead of comparing yourself to other people all the time, you instead made a habit of comparing yourself to you?

See how much you have grown, what you've achieved, the progress you've made and how you have developed your abilities over the years. Imagine how you'd feel each day if you compared yourself to how you were 10 years ago?

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.

You'll feel much more confident about yourself without having to think quite as much about what other people think about you!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Just Be Yourself Part 2: Getting OK With You!

If you don't believe in yourself, don't ask anyone else to do so!

It is virtually impossible not to transmit your doubts and insecurities to others through body language, tone of voice, inflection, word choice, and other subtle characteristics.

When you show by your actions that you lack self-confidence, other people also begin to doubt your ability to perform even the most insignificant of tasks.

To gain the respect and confidence of others, start by making a list of all the attributes that make you who you are, followed by the areas you could do with some work in! Make a conscious effort to build upon your specific strengths and just improve on your weaknesses (if they're even important).

It may not be easy, but if you assess yourself objectively and persevere in your efforts, you will eventually prevail .... like my wife Karen, If in this video you think that she looks confident - I can guarantee you that she wasn't, but simply done what she had to do anyway.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Just Be Yourself Part 3: Getting Out There!

"With confidence, you have won before you have started." - Marcus Garvey

Confidence is often the single differentiator between people who get what they want in life and people who don't.

Those who think and believe they can do something, i.e. run a marathon, start a new business, ask someone on a date (and have them say yes), win a competition, build a new social circle of friends, well ... they all do it.

Our mind is a powerful tool, and the impact of our thoughts and words cannot be undermined. Our thoughts create our emotions; our feelings create actions, our actions create our life. Confident people have complete control over their minds and tune their thinking towards an 'I can achieve anything' channel!

Here're nine things that confident people do that you can apply to your life:

The 9 Habits of Highly Confident People

Now and then, when we find ourself at a loose end and the potential for boredom looms, there's a little challenge that you can embark upon that's great for boosting confidence and expanding your expectations of ourselves.

Nothing special, nothing groundbreaking, just a little project that breaks down a fear or takes some practice and perseverance to compete. The 'YES' Project.

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

Exercise 8: The 'Yes' Project

No good course would ever be complete without it's very own list of reccomended reads for further study and investigation. So, here goes ....

Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula Recommended Reading List

Unshakable Confidence Recommended Reading List

This video brings the course to a close (for now), and I can only thank you once again for enrolling in the first place, and also for putting your trust in me as your coach.

Moving forward, I will continue to develop the course by adding new resources and study materials (and please feel free to get in touch with me directly if there are topics that you'd like me to produce future videos on).

But other that this, God bless, all the best and I'll look forward to hopefully seeing you again in one of my other courses ;-)


Unshakable Confidence | The Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

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Innovator in Psychology, Life Coaching & NLP Interventions

In the last decade, Kain Ramsay has influenced his following towards developing themselves in confidence, character, leadership and strength.

Kain has worked his unique brand of personal transformation with top business achievers, sports people, musicians, entrepreneurs and ex-military personnel by teaching how to live with greater intentionality, integrity and purpose.

He consistently astounds his audience by demonstrating how small changes in people’s thinking, can yield massive results in people's lives. He is one of the UK’s most trusted life coaches with over 28,000 people enrolled in his unique range of self improvement courses.

Beginning his career in the military, Kain spent 9 years in the British Army and served on Operational Tours in Saudi Arabia, Kenya, Kuwait and Gulf War II before terminating his service in 2004. Beyond the Military, he also developed successful careers in the finance sector, sales, marketing and in business communications.

He studied psychology and sociology in Edinburgh, before continuing in further study of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Counselling and even Theology. Today, he serves as an influential leader in the personal development industry.

A successful entrepreneur and philanthropist, Kain serves as Chairman of Solid Grounds, a Scottish veterans charity, which serves and guides Ex-Military personnel through the often problematic transition from military to civilian life.

Kain's commitment to creating life-changing self improvement resources, is surpassed only by his passion for family as a dedicated husband to his wife, Karen.


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