The 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Couples Course

A step-by-step affair recovery program, taught and delivered in video sessions by Dr. Savannah Ellis.
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  • Lectures 83
  • Length 8 hours
  • Skill Level All Levels
  • Languages English
  • Includes Lifetime access
    30 day money back guarantee!
    Available on iOS and Android
    Certificate of Completion
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About This Course

Published 12/2014 English

Course Description

The 7 Steps to Affair Recovery

The ULTIMATE Affair Recovery Coaching Program will teach you how to recover your relationship after an relationship infidelity, transform the quality of your relationships by understanding each others "Emotional Needs", enhance your communication skills with proven techniques & how to effectively manage all negative emotions.

Taught by Infidelity Recovery Guru, Dr. Savannah Ellis - the Founder of the Infidelity Recovery Institute. These video lessons are unscripted, and delivered to you, as if you were sitting in the counselors clinic.

You will work through the "7 Step Infidelity Recovery" Model as a couple.

This course will be offered at an introductory rate for a LIMITED TIME ONLY. Before returning to rate of $497. Therapists who are trained in the 7 Step Model charge couples between $2500 and $6000 to work through the 7 Step System in clinic.

You can work through the 7 Step Affair Recovery system directly with Dr. Savannah Ellis, with video lessons and easy to follow exercises. PLUS, Dr. Savannah Ellis will coach you through any challenges through the in course Discussion sections.

The #1 Online Affair Recovery Course

"This is a fantastic alternative to traditional counseling. You are getting the same quality advice as if you were sitting with me, in my clinic. Plus, if you feel stuck or don't feel motivated to keep fighting for the relationship, that is when you reach out and contact me for a quick power talk, so I can guide you through the Step. For most people, you just need that quick 5 minutes of support and encouragement to remember your "why" and keep on moving forward."

- Dr. Savannah Ellis

Step 1 - Commitment

STEP 1 - Commitment

  • Why commitment to affair recovery is important
  • The 3 Steps to Affair Recovery
  • The Letter to the Lover
  • Transparency
  • Quality Time
  • Communication Requirements
  • The Affair Type

Affair story

STEP 2 - Affair Story

  • What happened during the affair
  • Strategy to tell the truth
  • How much information to tell
  • Why the affair happened
  • How to process the truth

Personal Healing

STEP 3 - Personal Healing

  • Healing for the betrayed partner
  • Healing for the unfaithful partner
  • Healing for the family
  • Coping with Obsessions
  • Coping with guilt & shame
  • Depression - when to seek help
  • How to cope with Triggers
  • How to process anger


STEP 4 - Sex & Intimacy

  • When should you resume sex
  • How to start
  • What to do
  • Getting creative
  • Intimacy Monologues
  • Re-education on sex

Step 5 - Emotional NeedsEmotional Needs

  • What are emotional needs
  • How to meet emotional needs
  • What is a love bank
  • What are the 10 Most Important Emotional Needs


Step 6 - Forgiveness

  • When should you forgive
  • Why you can't forgive
  • How to forgive


  • Monogamy Education
  • Relationship Protection
  • Relationship Contract
  • Visualization

Plus much much more..........

BONUS LESSONS - This course will be updated every month, with new content and helpful lessons from guest therapists and industry gurus.

BONUS - As Aftercare, you will have FREE to the Movie Therapy Couple Course, our relationship communication course ($97 Value.)

What are the requirements?

  • The guiding lights of the program are “the three E’s”: Entertainment, Education, and Empowerment. You will be expected to complete activities throughout this course in order to progress to the next section.

What am I going to get from this course?

  • Determine the Affair Type specific to their relationship trauma
  • Understand why the affair occured
  • Stop triggers and obessive thoughts
  • Understanding each others most important emotional needs and have a plan to meet each others emotional needs
  • Have a safe and transparent relationship
  • Begin a fresh sex life in an environment of intimacy
  • Continue with the rituals and routines to ensure both people feel loved
  • Fully understand what happened in the affair.
  • Prevent future infidelity by understanding how couples stay monogamous

Who is the target audience?

  • Any couple who needs affair recovery advice.
  • NOT suitable for Individuals only. Try the Infidelity Recovery Model Course.

What you get with this course?

Not for you? No problem.
30 day money back guarantee.

Forever yours.
Lifetime access.

Learn on the go.
Desktop, iOS and Android.

Get rewarded.
Certificate of completion.


Section 1: Introduction


Welcome to the 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Program.

In this video I introduce who I am and how I can help you through this difficult period.

In addition, I ask you to do the following:

  1. Get a same-sex friend to help you talk about your feelings. The friend must be a "friend of the relationship"
  2. Get a diary to make notes on your feelings, new actions you need to remember to put into place, and quick notes on the exercises and activities you will do during this program.

I am here to help you throughout this journey, and answer any questions you have.

All I ask of you, is that you be respectful of other people in this course, and do not judge another persons story or opinion. Be sensitive.

Each and every person here in this course is going through pain, and looking for support.


Kindest Regards,

Dr. Savannah Ellis

DBA, MBA, BBSc, MPsych (Clin)

The 5 Stages of Affair Recovery
Section 2: The 7 Types Of Affairs
Introduction to the 7 Types of Affairs


This quiz will help you do a quick analysis on the type of affair which occurred in your relationship.

After deciding which affair type/s occurred, ensure you pay extra attention to the suggestions for recovery in the following videos.

Type 1 - Accidential Affair
Type 2: The Avoidance Affair Type
12 pages
Type 3: The Philanderer Affair Type
Type 4: The Entitlement Affair Type
12 pages
Type 5: The Split-Self Affair - AKA: Mid Life Crisis
Type 6: The Exit Affair Type
Type 7: The Sexual Addicts Affair
Section 3: Communication For Fast Affair Recovery
Step 1: Agreeing to Be Open and Honest
Step 2: Learn How to Talk and Listen Well
Step 3: Setting Aside a Time and Place to Talk
Step 4: Develop a Set of Parameters for Each Conversation Before You Begin
Step 5: Asking Open-ended Questions
Step 6: Know What to Ask and What Not to Ask
Step 7: Know What to Do When and If the Conversation Gets Out of Hand
Step 8: Being Consistent
Section 4: Step 1: Commitment

If you want to survive the affair, you will need to follow a narrow path in order to survive. There are plenty of rules to follow, and without the complete cooperation of both spouses it won’t work.

Most clients will try and find a way around these rules. But trust me when I ask you to follow the path of least resistance. Everything we ask you to do on The 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Program is tried and tested thousands of times over.

But when the plan is followed the results are outstanding, and there are thousands of happy couples who bear witness to its amazing rate of success.

Step 1: End the Affair Exercise
What to do if the affair has not ended
When you need a separtion
When should we give up?
Creating transparency
Why meeting each others emotional needs is crucial
Quality Time
STEP 1 - Couple HW - The Monologue - The Essential 7 Step Magic Ingredient
3 questions

Section 5: Step 2 - The Affair Story
6 pages

Use this checklist to work through this step.

A message for the Unfaithful Spouse

16 pages

Even if your partner can never completely forgive you for what you did, making a heart-felt apology and asking for forgiveness is an important step in helping both of you accept what you have done and move forward with the relationship. It shows them, in a tangible way, that you are taking responsibility for your actions and that you understand what you have done. We will look at what acceptance means in more detail in Step 6. For now, suffice it to say that it is time you tell your partner how sorry you are for what you’ve done.

To assist you in this process, I developed a 6-step program for generating a meaningful apology. Remember that this model is built to help you express what you already feel in your heart. It is not meant as a template to help you get away from dealing with the pain you have caused.

Section 6: Step 3 - Personal Healing - For the Betrayed Spouse

How to cope with the initial trauma of finding out about the affair.

In this section we look at what it takes for you, the betrayed spouse, to begin to heal for your own health and sanity.

In this section you will learn:

  • Eight powerful emotions you will face and how you can effectively cope with those emotions.
  • The nine most common reactions people have when they first learn about an affair.
  • How to look honestly at what is going on for you.
  • How to calm your emotions by turning inward, rather than looking outside for an answer.
Self Care Checklist
1 page
STEP 3 Couple Homework - MSTL
5 pages
Section 7: Step 3 - Personal Healing - For the Unfaithful Spouse
1 page

Coping with Obsessions

Being overly preoccupied with the details of the affair/infidelity is a normal part of the emotional reaction to being betrayed and dealing with the extraordinarily intense feelings that accompanying feelings.

There comes a time, however, that you may decide the obsessive thinking has served its useful purpose and is now interfering with your everyday functioning in a way that concerns you or your loved ones.

There are specific strategies that you can use at this time to help stop obsessing. Here are just a few:

Section 8: Step 4 - Sex & Intimacy
Sex & Intimacy
Non Sexual Touch is a safe place to start
5 pages
13 pages

Intimacy is about letting your partner under your skin both physically & emotionally.

After an affair, it is important to go through a process of orientation, and re-learning each others needs.

Go through these Six Steps of Renewing Intimacy

The Foreplay Map Exercise
2 pages
Section 9: Step 5 - Emotional Needs

The Emotional Needs Defined
The Love Bank
The Love Busters
10 Critical Conversations
11 pages
The 10 Critical Dimensions of Your Relationship
11 pages
Understand why you argue, the way you do!
3 pages
Section 10: Step 6 - Trust & Forgiveness
Trust & Forgiveness Introduction
5 pages

The Forgiveness Letter

Forgiveness Check List
3 pages
The Five Stages of Building Trust Exercise
6 pages
Personal Fears About Forgiveness
1 page
The Tower of Remembrance - Forgiveness Exercise
1 page
Section 11: Step 7 - Moving Forward
Moving Forward Introduction
Infidelity Prevention - The 7 Tips for Infidelity Prevention
2 pages
2 pages

One of your final exercises in The 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Program is visualizing the relationship you want. You probably have never taken the time to think about the relationship you DO want. What would that LOOK like? What would you do? Where would you go? How would you treat each other? What rituals and traditions would you like to start? Where would you like to travel? You get the point I’m sure.

Remember this point….

If you are INTERESTED, you will only do what is convenient

BUT, if you are COMMITTED, you will do whatever it takes

Prevention - Vunlerabilty Quiz
STEP 7 Couple Homework - The Relationship Contract
148.6 kB
Section 12: Additional Challenges & Solutions
The Family Meeting - Helping the family move forward together
3 pages

The 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Model Communication & Conflict Resolution Tools

Understanding Your Conflicts

This exercise is a guide for processing and evaluating a fight or any discussion of an issue that did not go well.

The goal is to increase understanding between the two of you without falling back into the disagreement.

The belief here is that there is no absolute “reality” in a disagreement but rather there are two “subjective realities”. This form is designed to help you get at these two realities and to ease similar situations in the future.

Section 13: Common Questions
Can I move ahead in the Steps, as my partner is too slow?
When should we resume our sex life?
What do we tell the children?
Section 14: Bonus Enrichment Exercises
The Onion
The Marriage Satisfaction Timeline
5 pages

During times of conflict you could feel trapped. The only reasonable strategy, therefore, is to let your partner know that you're feeling flooded and need to take a break. It's crucial that during this time you avoid thoughts of righteous indignation and innocent victimhood. Many people find that the best approach to self-soothing is to focus on calming the body through a meditative technique. Here's a simple one:

20 Things that makes me feel loved
2 pages
Section 15: Become Master Communicators

What are the predictors of relationship demise?
How to Recognise "Criticism" in your relationship

When your partner shows you contempt, they are communicating scorn, disdain, or disgust. They are communicating feelings of superiority by showing that they feel that you are inferior to them, below them, and undeserving of respect.

No one deserves to be looked at or spoken to with contempt, so remember, when someone shows you contempt or disgust it says much more about them than it does about you!

How to recognise defensiveness in your relationship

Communication Assessment Quiz
4 questions

Even the most successful relationships have conflict.

Our research has shown that it's not the appearance of conflict, but rather how it's managed that predicts the success or failure of a relationship. We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve," because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects.

The first step in effectively managing conflict is to identify and fight The Four Horsemen when they arrive in your conflict discussions. To do otherwise is to risk serious problems in the future of your relationship.

Below, we share the best antidotes for fighting off The Four Horsemen in your relationship, but your job is to determine the best antidote for each other the 4 horsemen!

Section 16: Course Templates
21 Day Ritual Worksheet
2 pages
Dysfunctional Thought Record
1 page
Section 17: Understanding Each Other
2 pages

Try this quiz to determine your top relationship desires. Important to understand how to tune back into each other.

2 pages

Love Maps Questionnaire

By giving honest answers to the following questions, you will get a sense of the quality of your current love maps.

For the most accurate reading of how your marriage is doing on this first principle, both of you should complete the following.

Read each statement and circle T for “true” or F for “false.”

2 pages
2 pages

Discuss the differences in how you value money

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Instructor Biography

Dr. Savannah Ellis, Infidelity Recovery Coach, Author, & Educator

Savannah has coached thousands of couples and individuals from Sydney, Australia to Las Vegas, USA to help them achieve their relationship and personal goals. Her passion is to help people be authentic to themselves and others.

Savannah specializes in infidelity counseling and has trialed & testing the 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Model for several years. The Infidelity Recovery Model has had a huge success rate in her Las Vegas and Santa Monica Clinics. Savannah teaches this model to coaches and therapists.


Savannah is the founder of the Infidelity Recovery Institute (IRI). IRI provides coaching, training and certification programs to coaches, therapists, counselors, and clergy.

  • Savannah provides individual and couple coaching/consulting, and online couple courses in the following areas:
    • Marriage Enrichment
    • Movie Therapy
    • Affair Recovery
    • Pre-Marital Counseling

  • Savannah has authored four books:
    1. Reboot your Relationship
    2. I Cheated: Affair Recovery Guide for the Unfaithful Partner
    3. Cheating, Spying, & Lying
    4. How to Attract Beautiful & Quality Women

  • Savannah is regularly featured and interviewed in magazines & radio:

    Elle Magazine, May 2014. Australia.

    ASIA Pacific Alliance of Coaches Newsletter, Volume 4, Issue 9. “From Betrayal to Recovery: The 7 Step System to Infidelity Recovery”, Sept. 2014. Australia.

    Mother Love Show – L.A. USA

    Baring It All – Las Vegas, USA.

    Marvelous Mondays – Florida, USA

  • Savannah holds the following degrees:

o (Current), Masters Mental Health Counseling, Walden University, USA

o MPsych (Clin) Postgraduate Diploma Psychology, Central Queensland University, QLD, Aust.

o DBA (Doctorate Business Administration), Southern Cross University, QLD, Aust.

o MBA (Master Business Administration) – UTS – Management & Marketing Majors, Sydney.

o BBSc (Bachelor Behavioural Science) – Monash; Majors: Psychology/Management, Melbourne.

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