Trick People Into Thinking You Can Cook

How to Make, Dress, Plate, Serve, and Snap Pics of Tasty Numnums
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  • Lectures 19
  • Length 1.5 hours
  • Skill Level Beginner Level
  • Languages English
  • Includes Lifetime access
    30 day money back guarantee!
    Available on iOS and Android
    Certificate of Completion
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About This Course

Published 2/2016 English

Course Description

Are you slangin' plates, but can't quite get it to the point of braggable swaggable dabbable dishes? Take this course to learn:

  • Everything you're doing wrong
  • How to stage your kitchen to look like you know what you're doing
  • How to throw out your shitty plastic plates for big boy dishes
  • How to brag about food on social media without being annoying
  • How to critique and discuss food in a way that makes you sound like a smartass

On top of this, you'll get a handful of bulletproof recipes that employ everything you learn along the way. In less than two hours, you'll become soigné af in no time. You'll get a bunch of videos, and some quizzes to make sure it's getting through to you.

Sign up for this course today if you're ready to graduate from dickless cretin to top shelf swaglord.

What are the requirements?

  • I expect you to use a knife and work a stove

What am I going to get from this course?

  • By the end of this class, you'll be serving "crudités with buttermilk dip" instead of a "veggie platter and ranch". (spoiler alert: they're the same thing)
  • I'll show you how to turn your sad, floppy PB&Js into top-shelf sammies, without changing any of the ingredients
  • After learning some recipes, I'll teach you how to brag about your cooking online without looking like a desperate pleb

What is the target audience?

  • This class is for 20-something jerks trying to look pretentious
  • This class is for 40-something dinguses trying to stay hip
  • This class is for anyone who would rather watch me freestyle than watch Rachel Ray dick around with EVOO

What you get with this course?

Not for you? No problem.
30 day money back guarantee.

Forever yours.
Lifetime access.

Learn on the go.
Desktop, iOS and Android.

Get rewarded.
Certificate of completion.

Curriculum

Section 1: Introductions
03:54

You bought the class, so let's say hi.

Section 2: Everything You're Doing Wrong
08:07

You won't find this list of top 5 trip-ups on Buzzfeed.

Section 3: Getting Started
02:46

Get started on your journey to culinary glory. Learn how to shop for groceries and think like a pro.

04:38

If you haven't ever cooked anything before, a vinaigrette is an easy place to start.

Continued Reading
Article
Section 4: Stupid Tricks to Elevate Your Cooking Game
05:51

This is one of my favorite tricks. It's painfully obvious, but it works on just about anything.

01:23

This stupid smear on a plate makes shit look delicious. You'll start noticing it everywhere.

03:29

Keep these secret tricks in your back pocket to flex on plebs

Recap Quiz
3 questions
Section 5: Staging
05:22

That plastic cup you stole from Toby Keith's while blacked out on Fireball has got to go.

05:08

Dress your environment in a way that says "I'm on one".

05:25

Let's try and put this all together. I made some simple chicken wings, and they're ready to slang.

Section 6: Recipes
09:03

A brunch recipe to distract last night's Tinder date from the early-morning regret.

07:39

Iceberg lettuce is a bitch.

2 pages

Peep this recipe I yanked from Blue Apron. It's an unexpected pasta to serve with your unexpected caesar. Serving straight-up spaghetti with store-bought marinara will negate any of the effort you put into the other parts of the meal.

Recap Quiz
4 questions
Section 7: Sharing
05:04

If a chef flexes in the woods, and nobody instagrams it, does he even get a like?

Continued Reading
Preview
Article
Section 8: What's Next?
05:14

Go forth, yung go-hard.

02:26

Still don't feel like you've gotten your money's worth?

  1. I don't care.
  2. Here's some hot tipz
01:34

You're done– a certified fuckboyardee.

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Instructor Biography

Victor Nevárez aka Shaquille lives in Arizona where he makes vines, draws pilchards, and cooks fancy food every day. He is good at many things, but talking about himself is not one of them. Also, he is me. Hi guys. Sorry to trick you. It was me the whole time. I wrote this bad bio for myself.

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