Sex Jumpstart: Reconnect Meaningfully Sexually for Couples
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Sex JumpStart is an 8-part program on how you can have the best sex of your life this year. This program runs for the month of December 2013 with two videos being released per week.
Through Sex JumpStart, I will help you understand what it is you are missing with your partner.
Why did you lose that loving feeling? You need to handle and treat each other in was you want to be treated.
With Sex Jumpstart, You will get to explore yourselves and discover something new within your partner!
By the end of the program, you will get to answer these vital questions:
Besides taking you through the G.R.O.W. model, I will be introducing you the Sensate Focus Approach where you will learn to:
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|Section 1: Week 1 of 4|
In this eight–part program, you will learn how to make this year the best sex of your life as a couple. It comprises with “GROW model” and “Taking couples through this sensate focus exercise”.
Today my focus on G based on “Independence” and “Intimacy” very first - where both of you come together to establish and nourishing your relation close together in any circumstances.
Communication is also very important. It comes from the both sides for planning and overall making the life better for family members -overcoming everyday problems and anxieties. You can think about yourself about the questions:
After writing all the answers of these question within five minutes, please discuss your answers your partner. The sharing with me five minutes (total ten minutes). Do not discuss your immediate reactions but rather wait 24 hours before discussing what you thought or felt about your partner's sharing.
In this video, I am covering another part of the program consisting of a series of exercises called “Sensate Focus”. This is a series of couple-oriented activities and developed by Masters and Johonsons.
Based on reducing anxieties to feel more sensation in their bodies and overcoming early ejaculation problem are the main motto of this exercises. This is not only a sex therapy technique but also for couples to break out of the rut.
Sex Jumpstart refers to refreshing each and every moment you want to begin sex with your partner. For the first week of this course no penetration is needed mean to say nothing into the body and overall no genital touch.
There are few guidelines:
The goal of this touching exercise is to express and meet another's desires. You are just learning about yourself and then for the partner. Talking and moving away from the penis being inserted into the vagina, moving away from orgasm and ejaculation is a big part of the process.
|Section 2: Week 2 of 4|
This is second week and today I am going to talk about R is for Reality from GROW model. What is happening right now in your relationship as well as your sex life. Rather than sweep things under the carpet, reflect on this.
There are some tips now:
Take 5 minutes to reflect on the above. Share your truth for 5 minutes each - using the above 5 pointers to come up with a conclusion accordingly.
This is the second episode of sensate focus exercise. We are now in week 2 and it’s actually divided into four progressive steps.
If you feel you did well with week 1 then you can proceed otherwise you may wish to repeat with week 1 by finding time. You can take time to develop confidence and competencies to each level to for the next one. In this week we go onto genital touch but still there is no penetration, fingering, no penis insertion. The objective is really to touch for different sexual responses to the entire body without ejaculation or vaginal lubrication.
For this week on the kind of degree or pressure ,your feelings about the hard, the pattern and the length of the strokes. If you are right–handed you may use left hand to get different sensory experience .Strive to be as relaxed as you can be without pressure or time constraint.
Even if there is any erection there is no penetration. This is really about savoring the sensations and allowing the suspense to build between the two of you. This is the overall objective of week 2.
|Section 3: Week 3 of 4|
This is week 3 and today we are focusing on ”O” from GROW. O stands for Obstacles and Options.
Many couples talk about how life's challenges such as the lack of time makes it difficult to be intimate. One suggestion is to schedule time.
Write down all your obstacles and options and share with your partner - each taking 5 minutes. Once again, you can discuss with each other your thoughts about what your partner said after 24 hours
This is week 3 and the third part of the series of exercises involving the Sensate Focus approach.
Experiment now with the pressure, rhythm and speed.
|Section 4: Week 4 of 4|
This is week 4. We are talking about W, which stands for Way Forward.
You may have come up with your own sex bucket list. For more ideas, I have a list attached called 59 Possible Turns-on. Both of you can go through it and see any of the items listed appeals to you.
Communication is a major part through a relationship. This video will give some communication tips covering the use of Open/ Closed-ended questions; Code Words; and Scale.
Sex Jumpstart was not designed to be one covering sexual techniques, but rather the mindset of being in a truly intimate relationship.
This is week 4 and this is the last video of the entire series of 8 parts. We are focusing the last part of Sensate Focus.
Through the weeks, we have gone from massaging only the body, to include the genitals, to mutual massage. In this last week, both of you can go onto sexual penetration if desired.
Having move away from sexual performance to true sensory connection over the last few weeks as well as opening up authentic communication using the G.R.O.W. model, it is my hope for you that both of you would have connected with each other in different and deeper ways. All the best!
Founder of Eros Coaching, Dr. Martha Tara Lee is a Clinical Sexologist who conducts sexuality and intimacy coaching, and runs sexuality education events in Asia.Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore (since 2009), and Men’s Health Malaysia (since 2010). She also contributes regularly towards YourTango and Elephant Journal. She is also the host of weekly radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. Her first book Love, Sex and Everything In-Between was published by Marshall Cavendish in Oct 2013, and her second Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between in Aug 2015.