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Relationship Mind Mastery: The Essentials

Be awesome in every role you have in life – friend, life partner, parent, colleague, etc. – using the 13x4 System.
3.8 (3 ratings)
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440 students enrolled
Last updated 8/2013
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  • 2.5 hours on-demand video
  • 1 Supplemental Resource
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
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What Will I Learn?
Increase your awareness of how to be great in all of your relationships with profoundly easy-to-use thought & action algorithms.
Create a vision for each of your most important relationships and imagine best possible outcomes for the challenging ones.
Increase your ability to communicate effectively, including becoming a better listener.
Use the 13x4 System to put your relationship improvement plan on auto-pilot. You will have to do the work, but it will take minimum will.
View Curriculum
  • You might find it helpful to take our free Everyday Mind Mastery course here on Udemy, but it's not absolutely necessary.

What’s the secret to having great relationships?
It’s simple really. 

Most people look at the other person – whether that be a life partner, relative, friend, colleague, etc. – and they think, “If only this person would change, our relationship would be awesome.”

But the secret to having great relationships has nothing to do with changing the other person. The secret is basically this... be the change you wish to see when you’re with the other person.

(Yes, we know, we stole that one right out of Gandhi’s playbook. To paraphrase another great thinker, Isaac Newton, we gladly acknowledge that we’re standing on the shoulders of giants!)

Choose “Easy”
Changing the other person? That’s really hard work and not much in your control. Some would say it’s pretty impossible. 

Changing yourself so that you attract the response and the relationships you want? That’s much easier. And we’re all for choosing easy!

This course guides you along the easier path because it’s about what YOU can do to be awesome in your relationships. 

We've taken knowledge that has been accumulated by great minds over eons of observing human interactions and condensed it all into several essential principles that you can implement using minimum willpower through the 13x4 System.

Here’s what you can expect to get from this course:

  • Increase your awareness of how to be great in your relationships with profoundly easy-to-use thought & action algorithms.
  • Create a vision for each of your most important relationships and imagine best possible outcomes for the challenging ones.
  • Increase your ability to communicate effectively, including becoming a better listener.
  • Use the 13x4 System to put your relationship improvement plan on auto-pilot.  You will have to do the work, but it will take minimum will.

Join us to learn and apply the wisdom of some of the greatest minds in the field of self-development to improve, nurture and develop mutually-beneficial and loving relationships with friends, family and professional colleagues. They’ll love you for it!


Feedback about the simplicity and usefulness of the 13x4 System:

***** This 13x4 is a roadmap that breaks a big concept down to small, doable pieces…  A lot of people have theory, but not everyone can show you how to actually do something and how to do it your own way.

***** Simplicity indeed, just notice what you would have done:  A very well presented method for improving your situation, self and finances or business.  It gives a methodology that can be used by anyone to improve their situation now with minimal effort.  It shows/proves that you are not the sum of your past, but the limitless possibilities of your future.

***** Amazing mind mastery that is simple and fun to apply:  The 13 x 4 tool is a practical and simple tool that is applicable to anyone who wants to master a number of things (in this case 13) in a manageable way by focusing on each area for a week. Tom Cassidy and Angela Loeb explain this in a very clear and natural way that keeps you interested and amused! 

***** Useful Tool! Highly Recommended:  Thanks!!

***** Simple concept, great speaker:The concept 13x4 is very simple. I will review my goals and fit them in this format.  

Who is the target audience?
  • Take this course if you want to be great in your relationships.
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Curriculum For This Course
Expand All 25 Lectures Collapse All 25 Lectures 03:04:42
Introduction - How The 13x4 Gets You What You Want
1 Lecture 02:43
An Introduction to the 13x4
Tom and Angela discuss the 13x4 and how it helps you master your mind.
Preview 02:43
The Master Tools/Algorithms That You Will Need For This Course
2 Lectures 06:46
An introduction to the Script - the gateway to Mind Mastery...
Preview 03:42

Tom and Angela discuss the master algorithm for taking more conscious action - The Sausage Machine.

Preview 03:04
The 13x4 System Explained
3 Lectures 19:51
From our popular Everyday Mind Mastery course, this video explains where the 13x4 came from.
Where Did 13x4 Come From? (Everyday Mind Mastery: video #1)

From our popular Everyday Mind Mastery course, this video explains why the 13x4 System works so well.
Why Does It Work So Well? (Everyday Mind Mastery: video #2)

From our popular Everyday Mind Mastery course, this video continues the discussion about why the 13x4 System works so well.
More About How It Works (Everyday Mind Mastery: video #3)
Getting Started - The 13x4 System Applied to Relationships
3 Lectures 20:29
Angela and Tom introduce the course and discuss how the 13x4 System will be applied to the principles in this course.
13x4 System Applied to Relationships

Download the workbook to use as you go through the following lectures.
Download The Course Workbook
25 pages

At the center of this particular 13x4 Wheel is "Awareness" - this is the gateway focus to kick things off.
Center Focus - Awareness
Domain - THINK
4 Lectures 34:09
During this week of "My Vision for My Relationships," Tom and Angela suggest you take that awareness to the next level by envisioning what you want your relationships to ideally be like.  
My Vision For My Relationships

This principle, "Don't Take Things Personally," comes from Miguel Ruiz' book, The Four Agreements.  In this lecture, learn how you can use it to be great in your relationships.
Don't Take Things Personally

This principle, "Don't Make Assumptions," is another principle from from Miguel Ruiz' book, The Four Agreements .  In this lecture, learn how you can use it to be great in your relationships.
Don't Make Assumptions

"Accept & Give No Abuse" is a profound concept for you to contemplate during this week in your 13x4 System. Consider questions like:

  • Are all of your relationships healthy?  
  • Where might you need to place boundaries?  
  • Where might you be using someone else in unhealthy ways, judging someone else too harshly, putting conditions on a relationship, etc?  
  • Where might another person be doing this to you? 

Accept & Give No Abuse
Domain - BE
4 Lectures 32:30
In this lecture, learn 4 types of active listening that you can use to increase your communication skills.
Be A Good Listener

How can "Be Understanding" help you be great in your relationships?  Angela and Tom share a great tip from Stephen Covey.
Be Understanding

This principle can be applied in different ways.  But mainly you're focusing on the following two questions: How are you interacting with the people in your relationships?  And is what you’re saying and doing constructive?
Be Constructive

In this lecture, you'll be reminded about how it feels to be on the receiving end of being encouraged.  Being encouraging and supportive of others goes a long way in developing awesome relationships.
Be Encouraging And Supportive
Domain - DO
4 Lectures 30:32
There is more than one way to demonstrate affection.  Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, is referenced in this lecture.  
Demonstrate Affection

"Give Sincere Praise" might also be considered a form of affection, but it really goes beyond that.  This lecture covers how it's more than simple affection and why you don't want to dole out compliments just to flatter.  Praise needs to be sincere to be effective.
Give Sincere Praise

An often overlooked principle in developing great relationships, yet a very powerful one when practiced.  When you give first, the other person feels cared for and even cherished.  
Give First

In this lecture, it's all about Gratitude and The Sausage Machine - stay focused on being grateful to and for the others in your life.
Express Gratitude
Wrap Up
1 Lecture 07:15

Time to wrap up! 

Books referenced in this lecture: 
How To Win Friends And Influence People  by Dale Carnegie
Several books  by Daniel Goldman 

Wrap Up
Bonus - Pearls of Wisdom - What Others Have Learned
3 Lectures 05:27
Patricia's Pearls of Wisdom
Further insights about the concept, "Do One Thing At A Time."
Preview 02:02

Further insights about awareness and doing what's helpful.
Preview 01:24

Further insights about the concept, "What am I putting in?"
Preview 02:01
About the Instructor
4.5 Average rating
646 Reviews
93,937 Students
14 Courses
Self-Development Consultant

A participant in one my classes once said, "Imagine if we lived in a world where even a small percentage of people started doing what they were born to do - wow what a world it would be!"

Yes! I agree!

I'm grateful and honored that my self-development programs and processes continue to serve so many all over the world. It's awesome to see that "small percentage" of engaged and excited people growing daily!

Basically, I'm really into self-development... learning it, teaching it, and supporting others who do too.

And I like results. While it's fun to talk about the esoteric side of things (and I really do love having such conversations!), it's even more fun to take action. What I do best is translate big, abstract concepts on how to make the most of ourselves and get where we want to go in life into easily understood and executable steps that work. All of my programs, as well as the books and articles I've written, reflect that passion.

After a 3-year hiatus, I'm back on Blog Talk Radio with my own show, Be Radiant Radio. Hope you'll find me there and tune in live or listen to the archived recordings at your leisure.

And please feel free to friend, follow, like, and link with me online at G+, Facebook, and Twitter.

Be well and shine on!

4.4 Average rating
1,248 Reviews
120,040 Students
22 Courses
Comprehensivist, Education Reformer

Tom Cassidy - Comprehensivist, Education Reformer, Reasonable Polymath, using continuous development frameworks to help people improve all areas of their lives: self-worth, self-belief, goal-achieving, feeling good, achieving sustainable health and deeply fulfilling relationships.

My mantra is: 'Feel Good. Do Stuff.'

Life's not about meditating on the top of a mountain in Nepal, feeling great, achieving enlightenment for yourself...

And it's definitely not about going through life doing things, without having awareness, being busy, achieving a lot but not being mindful of the bigger picture.

It's about both.

Feel good. Do Stuff.

Feel great about yourself, about life, the universe and everything, but do loads of things as well. Have a family, run a business, learn Italian, travel the world, change the world - Do Stuff.

I mean, why not?

I've spent the last 25+ years combining the wisdom of hundreds of years of the study of global philosophies, human effectiveness, modern findings of behavioural science, recent breakthroughs in the understanding of brain physiology and even the results of quantum mechanics into practical, continuous development frameworks for getting things done.

Systems based on practical algorithms of thought and of operation. Algorithms that are easy enough for most people to do just as they are, without having to change any aspect of their life. 'Reasonable Algorithms for Reasonable People.'

In my experience, the most effective continuous development frameworks are those which have duration, cadence and autonomy:

Autonomy - The framework is customisable, adaptable for every participant.

Cadence - The framework has a natural rhythm to it, a cyclic frequency.

Duration - The framework is designed for longitudinal impact and long term growth.

And this framework that I have put together appears to be very robust in its ability to get results, mostly because it requires a very small amount of willpower to make it work. People can stick to it quite effectively.

You still need to do the work. But the willpower you need to get the results is almost certainly the lowest you've ever used for achieving anything in your life, ever.

Please feel free to connect with me however best suits you. I'm always open to exploring ideas either virtually or in person.

All the best


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