In EFT Mastery - Relational Tapping you will learn the practice of Relational Tapping which resolves all sorts of challenges in relationship. "You don't listen", "Don't speak with your mouthful", "when you are late...", "Don't interrupt!", "Don't tell me what to do!", "Fuck you!", etc... We don't tend to recognize that these challenges to relationship have their roots in (hopefully subtle) trauma that can be quickly remediated by tapping.
Dynamics in relationship can be transformed very quickly if done precisely. This course teaches that skill.
The course contains a single page printable instruction sheet which includes the list of ten things that can be said by the witness, in order to guide the process.
Within the hour you can understand the process which can make immediate and permanent beautiful changes to relationships.
Understand what Relational Tapping does and know if it is something that could be of great value to you.
Sitting with a partner, one of you designated as a witness and the other speaking their truth, with a talking stick and a witness instruction sheet... here we see the process.
Relational Tapping Instruction Sheet
Something to work on is recognized. “We should tap on that”. Sit facing each other. Be well hydrated. Have an object, or “talking stick”, that the subject can hold to signify that role.
Whoever has stronger feelings volunteers to be the “subject”. The subject holds the “talking stick”, is the one “working”, simply states his or her feelings, while tapping, and following the instructions of the witness.
The witness conforms to the protocol as defined here. It is the job of the witness to remain present and non-reactive. The witness leads the tapping and should tap continually if there are emotions present. The job is active listening - as much as possible maintaining a matter-of-fact demeanor, being non-judgmental, neither encouraging nor discouraging. It is supportive to focus on a steady breath and the sensations of the body as best as one can.
The primary job of the witness is to be a neutral presence. Also, the witness is driving the process by asking from this set of questions:
1. How are you feeling? (This begins the session).
2. Echo back, ex: “You are feeling…”? Or just a reminder phrase, ex: “Angry”.
3. Tapping? (If the one working forgets to tap).
4. Say that again? Say more?
7. Move your body? (If the one working seems fixed in place).
9. [Raise hand] which means “Stop”, used if the witness is triggered. Then:
10. Are you/we feeling complete for now?
It is best to intervene after a set or two of tapping. Intervention will be unnecessary at times. Tapping may pause during a “pause”, “relax”, or “breathe.
Witness and subject should tap continuously! Though the witness is driving, they are not leading, and no leading questions! The witness is following the protocol with no analyzing, suggesting, or acting as a therapist, etc…
Take a break if the one of the participants is too activated and can’t calm down, or if the work continues for an hour (and participants are getting tired).
You should practice this exercise to deepen your ability for relational contact!
When to start, how to start, when to tap, when to stop...
Description of the points, the basics of tapping, and the spirit of non-violent communication.
While both parties are tapping, the actions of the witness are constrained to the set of 10 questions on the instruction sheet, and the person doing "the work" complies.
The hardest part... here the role of the witness is outlined and illuminated, and we look at the witness' 10 questions and their execution.
Now you know the process. Sit with your partner, perhaps set a timer, have the talking stick (object) and the witness instruction sheet handy, and practice Relational Tapping.
After a short session, perhaps 10 or 15 minutes, have a discussion about how precisely you followed the instructions and resolve to follow them even more perfectly next time.
In active listening we might say, "Mmmm hmmm", but we are not planning what to say next.
Please, develop these skills and put them into use so that we can all go forward in the best of ways. Remove the effects of trauma from your life at every turn.
Again, Practice Relational Tapping
First, recall the last time you practiced. Assess the changes, if any that you notice in how you are relating with your partner. Again consider how precise was your practice.
Now that you fully know the process... sit with your partner, perhaps set a timer, have the talking stick (object) and the witness instruction sheet handy, and again practice Relational Tapping.
After the short session, have a discussion about how and when you might benefit from practicing Relational Tappping on other issues.
Mark Johnson, with a degree in computer science, has been teaching for over twenty years. He created the official training courses for two of the first Java Application servers (NetDynamics and Apptivity) and provided training throughout Europe and North America. He has been the technical lead for numerous high profile projects included a leading counter-terrorism application, the Internet Archive's book scanning project, and currently, the world's largest research database of ants (Antweb).
His passions includes the efficient functioning of the "human" computer, and his professional trainings include certification as a hypnotherapist, a somatic coach, an integral coach, and as an NLP practitioner. He has had over seven years of training in the Diamond Approach path of personal development, and three years of training as a teacher in that tradition. His 12 years of meditation experience includes long retreats in the Buddhist, Amazonian and Diamond Approach traditions. Mark has been teaching on personal development topics including coaching, EFT and hypnotherapy for over five years.
In his private practice he offers remote assistance to clients working through trauma.