In this section, we are going to cover this material to help us manage stress with mindfulness:

• Fundamentals of reducing stress

• Introduction

• The origins of stress

• Acceptance is not apathy

• Working with stress

• Normalizing stress

• Role-modeling

• Motivation

• Exercise: identifying stress

• Exercise: change your narrative

• origins of stress

  • fight or flight

    • survival instinct

    • sympathetic nervous system

  • difference between

    • where you are and where you would like to be

    • how things are and how you would like them to be

• stories

  • noticing stories

    • what stories are you telling yourself

  • surrendering stories

    • releasing stories you're telling yourself

  • choosing skillful stories

    • telling yourself more skillful stories

• we do not abandon self-efficacy

• acceptance is not apathy

  • we do not abandon self-efficacy

  • we still move towards our aspirations

  • we become more powerful; more effective

• I'm here and I'm going there

  • with all of my force

  • with all of my self-efficacy

with all of my power

• identify stress

  • source of stress

  • existing stress

• notice the stories you are telling yourself

  • release those stories

tell yourself new and more skillful stories

• we come from a lineage of warriors and worriers (worry-ers)

• the vigilant survived

  • the overly calm / relaxed got eaten

• stress is a tool

  • learn to use it, instead of it using you

  • use it when you need it to turbo-boost your response

• stress is one more voice at the table

  • listen to its input and make your decision

• ASSESS

  • identify stress

  • notice the stories you are telling yourself

    • difference between

      • reality & desired reality

      • how things are & how you want them to be

      • how someone is & how you want them to be

      • how you are & how you want yourself to be

• DECIDE

  • what choices are available?

    • discount / discard old stories

    • tell yourself new stories

• ACT

  • tell yourself new and more skillful stories

• the role of stress

  • keep you alive

  • help you survive

• negative effects of stress

  • google

  • google scholar

  • stressed about stress …

• positive effects of mindfulness

  • google

  • google scholar

• MINDFULNESS

• mindfulness = presence = awareness = seeing = clarity

• ADA / OODA loop

• more

  • overall well being

    • google scholar

  • skillful decision making

  • presence

  • calm

  • clarity

  • focus

  • flow

  • increased dendrites

  • enhance functional connectivity on the brain

  • memory emotional regulation

  • showing up for your life / reality ….

• ASSESS

  • identify stress

    • most people can only identify 3 emotions

      • brene brown

      • happy, sad, angry

  • notice the stories you are telling yourself

    • difference between

      • reality & desired reality

      • how things are & how you want them to be

      • how someone is & how you want them to be

      • how you are & how you want yourself to be

• DECIDE

  • what choices are available?

    • discount / discard old stories

    • tell yourself new stories

• ACT

  • tell yourself new and more skillful stories

• ASSESS

  • identify stress

    • most people can only identify 3 emotions

      • brene brown

      • happy, sad, angry

  • notice the stories you are telling yourself

    • difference between

      • reality & desired reality

      • how things are & how you want them to be

      • how someone is & how you want them to be

      • how you are & how you want yourself to be

• DECIDE

  • what choices are available?

    • discount / discard old stories

    • tell yourself new stories

• ACT

  • tell yourself new and more skillful stories

• change your narrative – examples:

  • Martin Seligman

  • it's okay to be late

  • i am human and am necessarily not an intellectual ideal

  • the perfection of imperfection

  • regarding unskillful people

    • hurt people hurt people

    • they have to live with themselves 24 / 7 / 365

    • they too want to be happy

  • there is much for which I am grateful

  • I am blessed

Martin Seligman, the "father of positive psychology," has Albany roots

"Father of positive psychology" studied at Albany Academy

Oct. 16, 2010

Martin Seligman received Albany Academy's Distinguished Alumni Award this spring.

Q: After decades of studying depression, how did you become known as the "father of positive psychology?"

A: When I was elected as the president of the American Psychological Association, I knew I needed to advance the field. We were well versed in the mental illnesses, and I was known for identifying our ability to learn to become depressed and helpless. But, as a field, what did we really know about learning to become optimistic and proactive? To flourish? I remember a day when I was pulling weeds in my rose garden. I noticed my daughter tossing the neatly piled, just-pulled weeds all around the yard. I scolded her. She stopped and looked me straight in the eye and said, "Daddy, remember when I used to whine all the time? Well, when I turned 5, I decided to stop whining. If I could stop whining, then you can stop being such a grump." Her words stopped me in my tracks. She was right. I knew the reasons for my grumpiness, but how to turn it around? I knew then Nikki was on to something. It was time for psychology to seriously study the other half of the human story: what goes right with us. Positive psychology involves learning to think differently about both good and bad events, and appreciating that there is more than one path to an emotionally satisfying life.

In this section we will learn skills to reduce stress including:

• Introduction

• Lifestyle choices

• The importance of belonging

• Embracing the adventure of life

• The 4, 7, 8 breathing technique

• Immediate triage

• The importance of help

• Finding mentors, coaches, and wise village elders

• Activate with a list of todo items

• Somatics, stretching, and massage

• Exercise: 4, 7, 8 breathing

• Exercise: self massage

  
  

Lifestyle choices help you reduce stress:

• sleep

  • Ted Talk - Sleep is your superpower

  • The Economist - What happens when we sleep?

• exercise

  • Ted Talk - The brain-changing benefits of exercise

  • Ted Talk - The Exercise Happiness Paradox

  • Ted Talk - Exercise is brain food

• nutrition

  • the body

    • Ted Talk - How small changes in food choice can make BIG everyday differences

    • Ted Talk - The surprisingly dramatic role of nutrition in mental health

    • Ted Talk - The role of food in health

  • the mind

    • Ted Talk - Is Social Media Hurting Your Mental Health?

    • Books

    • Audio books

    • Mind is the forerunner of all things. As you think and act, so your world becomes.

• belonging

• belonging

  • Ted Talk - The Harvard Study of Adult Development

Life is an adventure. It will have great times and it will also have challenges. Know this about life and embrace it. Embrace the adventure which is life.

• inhale

  • 4 seconds

• hold

  • 7 seconds

• exhale

  • 8 seconds

• dr. weil

• If you are thinking about harming yourself or others, seek the help of others.

  • United States Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

• our superpower as a species

• I faced three hurdles in asking for help

  • admitting I had a problem

  • admitting I couldn't fix it by myself

  • asking for help

• mentors

  • ask

• a coach is someone who will

  • tell you what you don't want to hear, show you want you don't want to see, so that you can be who you want to be

• wise village elders

  • psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists

    • with psychiatry, make informed decisions

      • educate yourself

        • NYT article

        • Good Chemistry, June 16, 2020, by Julie Holland

• one foot in front of the other

• choose not to collapse

• Prioritization

  • focus on what's important

  • google keep or similar to keep a todo list

Somatics, stretching, and massage

• Book:

  • Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art

• Wim Hoff

  • breath

  • ice bath

    • Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP

    • Wim Hof website

Exercise: self massage to reduce stress

• neuroplasticity

  • Ted Talks & other resources on neuroplasticity

• nature

  • everything in nature is in a state of change

    • as you are nature, it is your nature to change

  • change is the only constant

• the power of the mind

• The two rules of change club

  • (1) you have to want to change

  • (2) change means change

    • ADA loop

      • step 1 - Assess = awareness = mindfulness

      • step 2 - Decide

      • step 3 - Act = change

        • new patterns of thought

        • new patterns of behavior

• example

  • when I was young, I was in a dysfunctional relationship

    • I chose to stop fighting; to no longer defend, blame, and attack

• adopt a spirit of adventure and exploration

  • there is much we do not know

  • everything has not yet been discovered

    • individually

    • collectively

  • put on your indiana jones hat

• mindfulness = awareness = seeing

  • placing your awareness

    • choose where to place it

    • presence

    • scope / focus

      • narrow ← → wide

      • intense ← → relaxed

• paradox: acceptance → leads to → change

  • “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.” - Carl Rogers

  • That which you resist, persists.

  • to get out of it, you have to get into it

  • to get through it, you have to go through it

• CHOOSE to FOCUS on something in the PRESENT moment

  • relaxing, accepting, witnessing, awareness, mindfulness

• example: waiting for family to leave,

  • not choosing to distract myself with technology

    • social media, news, youtube, reddit

  • choosing to rest in stillness and silence

    • noticing a restless anxiousness in my belly, an unease

      • relaxing around that

    • thoughts arising

      • this would be a good example!

    • feeling in my belly shifting to a glowing warmth; calmness

In this section, we will cover these topics to use mindfulness to reduce stress:

• Introduction

• Working with narratives

• Examples of working with narratives

• Seeing through an illusion

• The power of words - an example

• Integrating the brain

• Opening to possibilities

• Speak it into existence

• Exercise: identifying stories

• Narrated example of the exercise: identifying stories

  
  

• (1) identifying narratives

  • be aware / mindful that you are OBSERVING the story

• (2) creating new narratives

  • thinking is tied to emotional regulation

• examples from before of telling new stories to ourselves

  • it's okay to be late

  • i am human and am necessarily not an intellectual ideal

  • the perfection of imperfection

  • regarding unskillful people

    • hurt people hurt people

    • they have to live with themselves 24 / 7 / 365

    • they too want to be happy

  • there is much for which I am grateful

  • I am blessed

• another example

  • "I am a rabbit" / "I was built to eat this food"

• another example

  • "i hate sugar"

• if you're going to tell yourself a story, make it a skillful one

• common narrative:

  • everyone else is perfect, I alone am flawed / messed up / struggling

• Every single human faces challenges

  • Challenges are par for the course

• Some face greater challenges than others

  • 1 in 8 Americans is on antidepressants

  • 1 in 4 Americans is on some type of psychiatric pharmaceutical

  • 1 in 8 Americans is an alcoholic

    • 88,000 Americans died from alcohol related deaths.

    • 70,000 Americans died from drug overdoses.

  • Every year, 1 in every 234 Americans attempts suicide

    • 1,400,000 Americans attempt suicide.

    • Every hour of every day, in America, an American veteran takes their life.

  • Last year in America, there were 417 mass public shootings.

  • 50% of marriages end in divorce

  • 70% of Americans are overweight

  • 40% of Americans are obese

  • 1 in 5 Americans has been molested

  • 1 in 4 grew up with alcoholics

  • 1 in 3 couples have engaged in physical violence (source)

• You can build a more skillful life

• If you are considering harming yourself or others, seek the help of others.

  • United States Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

• Willie Nelson - Just Breathe (Official Video)

• Mercy Now by Mary Gauthier

• Willie Nelson - Just Breathe (Official Video)

  • thinking is tied to emotional regulation

• Mercy Now by Mary Gauthier

• two hemispheres of the brain

• talk integrates left (language) and right (emotion)

• "come to terms"

• The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

• From rational materialism to opening to possibilities

  • mysticism

• The power of prayer

  • articulating your intentions

    • express positive intentions

  • asking for help

• Wisdom traditions

  • Christianity

    • spoke it into existence

    • garden of eden

      • tree of knowledge

  • Buddhism

    • Mind is the forerunner of all things. As you think and act, so your world becomes

  • Hebrew

    • avra kehdabra

      • Aramaic phrase

      • “I will create as I speak”

      • Write and speak out loud what you want to bring into your reality

    • abracadabra

      • as i speak, i create

• 1) Aware that you're thinking a story

• 2) Impact you

  • how does it impact you

• 3) observe the story

  • You are not those thoughts

  • You are what is witnessing those thoughts

• relaxing my face

• tension in my face

  • keep a stiff upper lip

  • hold my cards close, don't reveal myself to others or myself

• story: "I hold my face funny."

  • story: "I was poorly socialized. I failed socially so much. Outlier experience."

• more skillful stories

  • "I've come so far."

  • "I'm doing so well."

• Indiana Jones theme

• adopt that spirit of adventure and exploration

• travel shares the same root as travail

  • etymology

    • Etymology is the study of the history of the form of words and, by extension, the origin and evolution of their semantic meaning across time. It is a subfield of historical linguistics, and draws upon comparative semantics, morphology, semiotics, and phonetics.

• enlightenment

  • continuum / spectrum

    • gradual / instantaneous

  • my two instantaneous experiences

    • in a car

    • lying down

  • everything happens in its time

    • snake sheds its skin when ready

    • chick hatches when ready

    • flower blossoms when ready

• meditation

  • practicing skills

  • the one thing you're doing

  • you are mindful / aware / witnessing while meditating

• mindfulness

  • being aware of what you're doing

  • you can be mindful while doing other things

  • you do not need to meditate to be mindful

• examples

  • driving a car

    • be mindful

    • don't meditate

  • meditation

    • be mindful

  • raking the leaves, washing dishes, chopping wood, carrying water

    • be mindful

    • moving meditation

  • walking

    • be mindful

    • moving meditation

• notes:

You can meditate anywhere, anytime, and in any position so long as your focus is not required elsewhere. Do not meditate while driving. Be mindful while driving, but do not meditate while driving. There is a traditional meditation posture of sitting with one’s legs crossed. Here is a picture of me back in the day:

There are theories (more thoughts) that by having a certain posture, you are more likely to meditate well. You must determine whether or not this is true for you. In some styles of meditation, posture is strictly enforced. In some styles of meditation, instructors whack students with sticks if they do not maintain perfect posture. If you find yourself sitting with people where this is the culture, you will need to determine whether militant attention to posture and being whacked with a stick are helpful to you. In my personal experience, I meditate in two primary positions:

• lying in bed and

• sitting with my legs crossed

I find that my meditations feel more focused while sitting with my legs crossed. Neither of my enlightenment experiences, however, happened while sitting with my legs crossed. One enlightenment experience happened while I was riding as a passenger in a car. The other enlightenment experience happened while I was lying in bed.

• Why meditate?

  • benefits

• What we do in meditation?

• What type of meditation should I do?

• In meditation, we practice

  • balance

  • presence

  • focus

  • choice

  • relaxation

  • resting in stillness and silence

  • doing nothing

• Why meditate?

  • benefits

• What we do in meditation?

• What type of meditation should I do?

• In meditation, we practice

  • balance

  • presence

  • focus

  • choice

  • relaxation

  • resting in stillness and silence

  • doing nothing

• Why meditate?

  • benefits

• What we do in meditation?

• What type of meditation should I do?

• In meditation, we practice

  • balance

  • presence

  • focus

  • choice

  • relaxation

  • resting in stillness and silence

  • doing nothing

balance, presence, focus, choice

• We tell ourselves many stories

  • we all have deeply held beliefs

    • pillars of personality

  • until we learn otherwise, we live in a cage of our thoughts

• we can find ourselves …

  • lost in thoughts about the past

  • lost in fantasies (thoughts) about the future

  • and when that happens, we're not here for what is

    • just a cup of tea…

• tell your self skillful stories (about your self)

  • if you’re going to tell your self stories, tell your self skillful stories

  • look for what is good; look for what you love

• release unskillful stories

• release unskillful patterns of thought

• release unskillful patterns of behavior

• wabi sabi

• poem: AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS by Portia Nelson

• know thyself

• staying with yourself

• discovering who you are

• cultivating intimacy with yourself

• phoenix

• rebirth mythology

  • christianity

    • die and be reborn

  • zen

    • to live you must die

• "dark night of the soul"

  • joseph campbell: You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.

• carl jung "shadow work"

• phoenix

• rebirth mythology

  • christianity

    • die and be reborn

  • zen

    • to live you must die

• "dark night of the soul"

  • joseph campbell: You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.

• carl jung "shadow work"

• if it was all beaches in Hawaii and mai tais, you're not motivated to change things

• suffering is a catalyst to change

  • pleasure principle

• buddhism

  • first noble truth - there is discontent in life; there is struggle; there are challenges; struggles, discontent, disappointment

• financial success

• emotional success

• four areas of health

  • physical

  • social / family

  • psychological / emotional

  • financial

• I am becoming my best, strongest, and highest self with each day that I choose to take consistent action toward my highest goals. I am in competition with no one aside from the person I was yesterday. I am exactly where I need to be on this path that I chose and for which I was born. I am the master of my mind. I am the master of my body. I am the master of my life. So it is. - chase tucker

• "INDIRECTION, I FIND MY DIRECTION" ~ per se

from a long lineage of survivors

Exercise: acknowledging your wins

• from a long lineage of survivors

• I am …

  • example: I am Todd McLeod from the Clan McLeod …

• evolve

  • face challenges and overcome them

• keep yourself alive

• keep the species alive

• belong

• Knowing and embracing yourself

  • can you be with yourself?

  • can you not abandon yourself?

  • can you stay with your experience? breath into it?

• Awakening and enlightenment

  • spectrum / continuum

• reality vs thoughts

  • eleanor roosevelt

    • the past is history

    • the future is a mystery

    • today is a gift, which is why we call it the present

  • Thoughts are a virtual reality

• great painting

  • The Treachery of Images

• Ceci n'est pas une pipe

  • This is not a pipe

• this illustrates the difference between reality and an abstraction, or a representation, of reality

• great teaching

  • that is not a tree

• we could also say, the treachery of

  • concepts

  • ideas

  • words

  • thoughts

  • they are abstractions of reality, but they are not reality

    • all too often we can lose touch with reality because we focus on the abstractions of reality, the ideas, the concepts, the thoughts

  • instead of seeing reality

    • we think we already know reality

    • we don't inquire into reality

• riding a rocketship of a mystery

The power of not knowing

• The narrative of your life is not your life

  • Who you want to be or don't want to be

  • How you're grandiose or deficient

  • Not that the stories don't impact your life

    • because they do

  • But the stories are not your life

• Whoever your are is much much bigger than who you think you are

• Get in touch with your true nature

  • Who you actually are

  • As opposed to who you think you are

• distinguish between reality and stories / thoughts

  • knowing you're thinking

• distinguish between reality and stories / thoughts

  • knowing you're thinking

• good fortune / bad fortune story

  • the farmer, the horse, the wild horse …

introduction to tools for the trail

• sayings from teachers

  • Drop by drop, the bucket gets filled

  • Persistently, patiently, you are bound to succeed

  • every day that you take consistent action towards your most skillful goals, you are taking a step towards becoming your best and highest self - chase tucker

I am becoming my best, strongest, and highest self with each day that I choose to take consistent action toward my highest goals. I am in competition with no one aside from the person I was yesterday. I am exactly where I need to be on this path that I chose and for which I was born. I am the master of my mind. I am the master of my body. I am the master of my life. So it is. - chase tucker

• skillful decisions & skillful action

  • The more you feed skillful and nutritious content to both the body and the mind, the more you are going to thrive

• It's about the journey and the destination

  • not, "It's the journey that matters and not the destination."

  • you very much want to be going in a skillful direction

    • That mountaintop over there, that's where I'm going.

  • then come back to your own two feet on the ground and enjoy the journey

• primary key important threads

• using mindfulness in our lives to become more skillful

• what is our purpose - what were we put here to do

  • evolve

  • survive

  • procreate

  • belong

• the destination and the journey matter

• Not about getting somewhere

• About showing up more fully where you are

• How fully can you show up for your life

• choose a skillful destination

• move towards it every day

  • action you can take each day

  • be present