My course provides an overview of how your brain works when confronted with the threat or fear of conflict. I'll explain why it's important to understand the dance that the brain orchestrates between conflict and your emotions. And how you can better manage this dance particularly when challenged by reactive emotions that could lead to conflict
Additional materials are included to expand on the subjects discussed in each lecture, giving you an opportunity to broaden your knowledge for managing conflict.
During the last half of the course I'll share with a set of skills that have proved effective for minimizing conflict and help you get through a rough patch when conflict seems inevitable. Ultimately, the goal for the course give you the tools you need to cultivate habits that minimize conflict and improve your chances for making the best of bad situations at work and home.
Here are a few of the skills you'll learn:
• How to move beyond disagreeing so easily.
• Managing strong emotions, like anger, frustration and contempt.
• How to examine a bad experience to bring out the positive upside.
• Avoid negative reactions toward people and events that are annoying.
• Learn how to minimize misinterpretation of your words.
• Techniques to prevent people from ruining your day.
• How to quite the voices inside your head that divert your attention.
• You'll learn proven techniques for integrating new skills into your daily life
Learning and applying the skills included in the course will boost your confidence and ability to manage conflict with greater ease and calm.
Before we get started - let me share a few things about myself, places I've worked, where I've been and what I've been doing for the past few years
I've included numerous references and documents in this course for your study and further reading. I hope you find these resources useful in your work and home surroundings.
The course is presented in 4 elements:
Advances in technology over the last 20 years have opened a floor gate of understanding for how the brain reacts to conflict, stress, positive and negative emotion and is too vast to cover in this short course. However, I'll touch on several interesting discoveries about how we respond psychologically and physically to threats and conflict.
Learn the unending story of how our brain dances with conflict. I'll discuss two regions of the brain that play an important role in this story and how your handle conflict.
In this lecture I'll discuss the physiological events taking place in the reasoning and emotional brains as you begin reacting to the threat or fear of conflict.
If you're unaware of your natural resistance to change, I'll shed a little light on why. Largely, it's the brain's striving to fill one of its primary function "to protect you". We'll scratch the surface on this subject looking at possible causes you or those you work with resist change.
You and I see the world and our surroundings very differently. Not only are we affected by our history and environment - it goes deeper and sets us up for disagreement. It's worth noting here that I'm establishing why the skills I discuss later in the course are effective in minimizing conflict.
In this lecture I'll provide a short review the previous 5 lectures covering the highlights and links between Conflict, the Brain and Neuroscience.
I talked about how we view things so differently in lecture 7; now I'd like to explain several reasons for how this happens.
There's a lot to know about managing emotions - time permits only scratching the surface, however I'll discuss several resources as helpful guides. Clearly, the ability to manage emotions is critically important to career success and nurturing relationships.
In this lecture I'll discuss the concept of emotional intelligence and why it's a cornerstone for managing conflict. I'll touch on the four domains of emotional intelligence consisting of 18 competencies and then recommend several resources for your continuing reading and study.
Everyone is frequently exposed to the possibilities for conflict – knowing how to temper our response, speak the right words is worthy of our time and energy to learn. Find out how consciously choosing to resist impulsive behaviors can be a deterrent to conflict
Learn how quick judgments of our own and others behavior are often based on inaccurate assumptions. I'll discuss how these judgments can inhibit our effectiveness for managing conflict
In this lecture I'll discuss the reasoning behind thinking and speaking softer feeling words when describing reactive emotions. Often we say we are angry when in reality there are probably words that better describe how we feel.
Often we overlook the connections between the words we use and the behaviors we exhibit. I'll discuss why your words reinforced by your actions impact your ability to manage conflict
I'll share with you one of the most universal of all truths: People want to be treated with dignity and respect. There are subtle ways to show respect and I'll share several examples with you.
Conflict is or seems to be a natural way of life - it's part of how the world functions. In this lecture I'll discuss the power embedded in treating people with dignity and respect.
This lecture summarizes the previous 10 discussions and bring out what I believe are the key points that describe the dance of emotions and conflict.
Think and reflect on your answers to these few questions. Your answers will remain with you for future reference
Here's a technique to help you consider alternatives before you over react to a bad situation and make it worse
I share with you a simple strategy for re-framing a difficult experience that could influence your reaction and help minimize a possible conflict
In this lecture I'll explain why looking again with different eyes can change the outcome of an adverse experience
Discover the relationship of managing conflict with attention training and how it can improve your chances of making the best of a bad situation.
In this lecture I'll share another example of a simple, but very effective, skill to help you guard against letting people make you furious, irritated or annoyed.
I'll share with you why it's important to be aware of the internal conversations that grab your attention as you attempt to listen to others. I'll talk about this internal voice and how it disrupts what you hear.
Discover how and why your words are often misinterpreted which leads to the chance for conflict.
In this lecture you'll hear about how asking a few simple questions the can soften resistance and strengthen your influence
I'll talk about how an excessive need to be right can be a defensive routine to protect the ego and how it creates power struggles that often lead to conflict.
Rediscover what you probably already know, yet overlook, about how your words can cause people to react defensively responding with verbal counter attacks that lead to conflict.
Here's another group of questions for you to think about and reflect on your answers, which remain with you for future reference
I'll tell you why deliberate practice is a KEY element for learning and applying new skills
There are multiple ways for learning new skills – Here's how your can be proactive with the learning process
Here's a concise summary of the first 6 skills I discussed in the course
Here is the summary of the remaining 6 skills covered in the course
Let's wrap up with several key thoughts about managing conflict along with my suggestions for take-a-ways from the course
I began my working career in the shipbuilding industry on the East Coast, and later on the shores of Lake Michigan, holding middle and senior level management positions. I’ve served in the Army Reserve and National Guard, retiring as a Captain after 24 years of service. Several decades ago I became interested in community and environmental affairs – presenting workshops and seminars to large groups – facilitating solutions to conflicts among opposing groups of land developers and environmentalists – and developing collaborative efforts to strengthen land preservation initiatives.
More recently, I’ve worked with the Transportation Security Administration, (TSA) teaching a variety of interpersonal skills courses designed to support the agency’s Integrated Conflict Management System.
The military and business management experience, involvement in community and environmental affairs, public speaking, conducting workshops and seminars has helped me to appreciate the complexities of managing conflict.