Learn to Love: Destroy the beliefs that keep you alone

Understanding who you are through love detox is the first step toward self-improvement. No one is perfect but we all strive to be the best we can. Using the questions below, try to identify what you consider the GREATEST version of yourself or how you would most like to be.

·Think about your honesty level, are you a trustworthy person?

·What personality traits would you like to improve?

·What physical traits would you like to improve?

·What are you looking for in a partner?

·Which personality traits do you believe will help you become balanced?

Be Positive

Take a more positive attitude and work to rid yourself and your environment of negativity. This can be as simple as smiling more often or as challenging as changing your attitude. Be encouraging toward your partner because ultimately happy people attract happiness into their lives and relationships

While making adjustments to your own behavior you may also find that you change your mind about what type of love you are looking for.

To create realistic expectations for your partner and relationship you should consider what is really important to you now and for your future.

Still wondering why your past relationships didn’t work out? When a couple shares different values such as family, religion or lifestyle there is sure to be conflict. These basic values are the building blocks of a strong union, so if each person is working toward two different end points, then it’s unlikely the relationship will work.

Personality also plays a big role. When you first meet someone you may be focused only on their positive attributes or the character differences that you wish were part of your personality. These differences may make them exciting at first, but over time these traits can become annoying. If your personalities do not complement each other, you may grow to resent each other.

Reprogramming is the process of re-training yourself to recognize and seek out the qualities that are important to your long-term happiness and allow you to become a more balanced individual.

Self-acceptance is about having a healthy self-esteem where you can recognize and appreciate who you are at this very moment. Even if there are parts that you would like to change eventually, it is important that you are honest with your imperfections. Everyone has their strengths and weakness, and accepting your flaws makes it easier to correct them through self enhancement. However, if you are in denial about who you really are or how others perceive you then you cannot expect to find someone who will understand and fulfill your needs.

To identify the areas of your life you should work on we will focus on three main categories: Mental Health, Physical Health, and Beauty. Within these three categories we all have our limitations, but this exercise is to help us focus on being the best we can be, not trying to achieve what others have. All of the physical attributes you were born with and skills you have developed can be further enhanced with a little time and effort.

Now that you have thought about who you are, and are accepting or taking steps to change, let us focus on what to look for in a partner. Taking into account your own personality traits, think about which traits are going to make you a more balanced person. For example, if you are the type of person who is high energy and has a high level of anxiety, you may want to search for someone who is calmer. Being around a lower level of energy may help you learn to become more relaxed. On the other hand, you may be looking for someone who complements your personality and who can handle your energy. Whatever the case, now is the time to think about which characteristics you lack and which you would like to maintain. Taking time to consider compatible personality traits before you start looking for a relationship will help you to filter out the traits that would not make a successful match.

After many years of giving relationship advice I learned that one of the biggest challenges most single people face is actually searching for and finding someone to date. The idea of approaching someone new creates a lot of anxiety and stirs up a fear of being rejected. Even the most confident of personalities may have a hard time breaking the ice. The only thing that I’m sure works is practice. The more you approach people you’d like to get to know, the more comfortable you get with rejection. After a while you won’t even feel rejected; you’ll just keep moving to the next person. Don’t worry, there’s no shortage.

Filters are comments or actions designed to weed out the character traits in a partner that are undesirable.

You can establish filters or standards in education, family, religion, race, financial status, ambition, etc.

For example, when you see an older man dating a young lady it just doesn’t seem right. You think to yourself, what could they possibly have in common? Filters help you to determine how compatible you will be with a potential partner. The filters in this case would be age, maturity and experience level. The draw for an older man may be regaining his youth, but even the most energetic older man can’t keep the pace of a much younger woman. Aside from that, the interests and goals of a mature, experienced man vary greatly from the goals and desires of a young lady. What do you think happens when she does mature and gain more experience? More often than not she goes for someone who is closer in age and with whom she is more compatible. So filters are an important tool to keep you from wasting your time with someone who isn’t right for you.

Part of identifying filters is also recognizing behaviors that can be detrimental to your relationship. When you first meet someone it is easy to get caught up in the moment and ignore the subtle red flags that should be catching your attention. Here are some signs you don’t want to miss.

So you've met someone, now what?

The first date is essential for setting the tone. The best thing to do is go where you can be relaxed and yourself. Make sure to leave a positive impression. The goal for any date is to learn about the other person which entails listening. People reveal a lot about who they are and what t hey want so pay attention. You should be positive, fun and engaging but do not monopolize the conversations or come across too strong.

Within all relationships we run the gamut of emotions -- happy, sad, angry, etc. We form opinions about the nature of the relationship based on those emotions. In other words, we feel and then think about how we feel, but seldom do we separate the two. In many cases the only time we think about love is after it's gone or when we feel our relationship is being challenged. Once we feel the relationship is coming to an end, our rational mind kicks in to help us cope with the change. But, why wait until something goes wrong to start thinking?

Many of us approach dating with no established goals. But if you’re searching for a long-term relationship, then you need to have a plan. In order to simplify the process I came up with “The 12 Levels of Love.” The 12 Levels of Love will comprise the first year of a relationship, where at the end of each level (or month) you will take into account all that you have learned about your partner. This will allow you to address any issues as they arise so that you can actively shape your relationship.

Meeting potential partners can happen anytime and anywhere, even if you are not looking for it. However, deciding whether this person is right for you, takes much more effort.

Take things slow so that you don't miss any important clues about their personality, values or life goals.

Once you have moved past the Probationary Period that means you feel highly compatible with this person and ready to progress to Programming. Much like reprogramming was about retraining your mind, programming is the process of teaching and learning from your partner so that you can become a balanced couple

By the end of six months you should have gathered enough information about this person to decide whether they are the one who will bring balance and happiness into your life. If you’ve been watching the signs and addressing concerns along the way, the decision to continue or not should be clear.

Now is the time to be clear about your intentions. Make sure to reinforce your desires through action. Address the small issues that conflict with what you want so that you don’t undermine the success of your relationship. The challenge during this phase is to be consistent!

You are entering the final phase of the Levels. Over the next three months you should focus on all of the insight you’ve gained thus far so that you can make an appropriate decision about the future of your relationship.

If you decide to break-up, whether it's mutual there will always be lingering feelings, good and bad. You may be able to cover up your emotions, but until you to fully Detox it will not be a good idea to meet anyone new.

After many years of providing relationship advice I realized that one of the biggest challenges most single people face is actually searching for and finding the right person to date. So I decided to write down my strategy for finding love which relies on logic rather than emotion.

Within all relationships we run the gamut of emotions including being happy, sad, angry and countless other feelings. As a result we form an opinion about the nature of our relationship based on those feelings.

In other words, we feel and then we think about how we feel but we rarely separate the two. In many cases the only time we think about love is in retrospect or when we feel our relationship is being challenged. Once we feel the relationship is coming to an end our rational mind kicks in to help us cope with the change, but why wait until something goes wrong to start thinking?

With the strategy used in How I Bagged My Husband you can track the progress of your relationship on a monthly basis. Whether you are aware of it or not when you meet someone you enter into a relationship with a distinct purpose in mind. You may be looking for no pressure fun with somebody or you may be searching to settle down with someone.

Most of the time we approach these relationships in the same way; having a positive attitude with no established goals. However if you are seeking a successful long term relationship then How I Bagged My Husband will help you make the right choices.

Learn how to control your emotions in order to develop the love life you want. I am confident that my love strategy can be used by anyone who is seeking a long term successful relationship.