Improve your kid's behavior-newly invented star chart models

For any chore or boundary use these new designs and models of behavior and reward charts- no bribes, any age (2-19yrs).
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  • Lectures 43
  • Length 2 hours
  • Skill Level Intermediate Level
  • Languages English
  • Includes Lifetime access
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    Available on iOS and Android
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About This Course

Published 2/2015 English

Course Description

[updated November 2015 with new skills] You've heard of these right? Star charts - Reward Charts - Chore charts - Incentive Charts

But I don't want to use bribes, payments or prizes as incentives....As a child, my parents and school teachers used them on me - but they didn't work. WHY NOT?

When I became a parent, I used traditional star charts on Cailin... .. but then that model stopped working as well: WHY DID THEY STOP WORKING?

_______________________________________________________________

So for the last 15 years as a school principal and parent, I figured out why these traditional models don't work for long, and then designed and invented some totally new ones as I found out how to really inspire and motivate a child, instead of bribe them.

  1. The observational model (use it even if your child doesn't want to participate)
  2. The goal model (powerfully move into celebrating an achieved end goal)
  3. The perseverance model (how to keep them persevering, in spite of how difficult things get - prevents them from just giving up)
  4. The consistency model (keeps the new behaviour going till it becomes a habit)
  5. The process model (how to build strategic thinking and task completion)
  6. The gamification model (how to make a star chart like a board game with mystery levels and game rules)

_______________________________________________________________

I am now known as the parenting coach and teacher who can get a child to do whatever is needed to be done! And these techniques are now used in schools and homes around the world.

My experience as a school principal and parenting expert have really paid off ... and those techniques I used that worked are now revealed here for the very first time. You wont find this material any where else (unless someone has copied my work)

_______________________________________________________________

So, I know these charts work - I even show you our past examples, and have even filmed me starting new ones with Cailin.

Every single technique which I reveal in this course is easy to put into place in minutes - and can give you instant returns.

Nothing is kept secret - I reveal all I know ... and as I test even more things, those that are successful are added to the course - at no extra cost to you! This is a course that will continue to grow and grow.

As well as the Udemy 30 day guarantee, you have my personal promise that you will be wowed and delighted by what you'll learn in the next 2 hours ... and you'll be kicking yourself if you already have given up on the power of Star or Behaviour Charts.

Every minute you delay is actually COSTING you more time and effort as you keep complaining in not getting the results you need from your child ....

Enrol now! and discover guaranteed solutions that work!

What are the requirements?

  • At the begining of each section it's best to print out the practical sheets so you can follow the scripting I will give you.
  • You may want to get some cardboard, or clean paper to make your own charts. (paper, ruler, stickers, pens)

What am I going to get from this course?

  • Can be used for getting teeth brushed, food eaten, homework done, chores completed, dogs fed, stopping swearing, being kind and polite and more....
  • Learn the "magic wording" to support your child in changing their behaviour to what you are wanting.
  • If you want to support your child without them feeling bad and wrong, then the wonderful wording in this course will unlock that for you.
  • Know the hidden secrets on how to avoid using prizes and rewards as motivation to get your child to participate.
  • Each model has a printable STEP-BY-STEP sheet that you can follow to get the results you want. Just fill in the gaps and read out to your child.
  • Know how to use and adapt at least 6 different models to bring about those boundaries that you are wanting.
  • Get them to CHOOSE to improve their own bevaviour, and not just be told by you.
  • Learn the skills to get your children to be SELF motivated.
  • If you want your child to do ANYTHING, then these models will support you in getting it done without the long faces and threats of punishment.

What is the target audience?

  • This course is best for the 'intermediate to advanced parent' who already has a good understanding of how their communication impacts their children's self esteem.
  • Anyone who has children, or works with children (teachers, grandparents, babysitters etc)
  • These models are best used with children older than 2 years of age - and yes, up to and including teens and adults.
  • You don't have to be English speaking to get great results. The specific wording can be translated into any language.
  • The course requires you to be able to reflect on your itneraction with your children, and to consistenly strive for SUPPORTING your child intstead of accusing and blaming them.
  • You need to have an underlying drive to be a better parent who is willing to learn different ways to support your child.

What you get with this course?

Not for you? No problem.
30 day money back guarantee.

Forever yours.
Lifetime access.

Learn on the go.
Desktop, iOS and Android.

Get rewarded.
Certificate of completion.

Curriculum

Section 1: How these chart models will transform your family's behaviour!
02:36

In this lecture we will explore why traditional star charts are incredibly limited and how using these new 6 different models will totally change your experience of STAR CHARTS.

We will be covering :

  1. The observational model
  2. The goal model
  3. The perseverance model
  4. The consistency model
  5. The process model
  6. The gamification model

I will give you answer to the following questions:

  • my child only does this because of a prize or reward, and not because they really want to do it
  • sometimes my child loses motivation half way through and then just gives up on the whole process and then I am back to square one:
  • the star chart is great but once they have achieved the reward, then their behaviour returns back to what it was before because they now have no motivation to continue.
  • Traditional star charts work well on my young children, but my older children ( 8 years and above) just roll their eyes.
03:09

Many parents use star charts just for getting the household chores done. But in this lecture I will show you how you can use my star chart models to transform your child’s self esteem and attitude into one of empowerment and success.

Success comes from an internal belief system founded on the qualities of self discipline, perseverance and an open mind while at the same time challenging oneself to do, and be, even better.

This lecture will open your mind to seeing how you as the parents can impact your child’s ability to persevere and succeed!

01:33

The course is structured so you can implement any of the models once you have finished the lesson on that model.

Each model has it's own Practical sheet which you can print out and follow, STEP-BY-STEP

So print it out now from the resource section in this lesson (look for the RESOURCE tab on the right of the page)

And consider this is more than just getting chores done.

This is about building your child's self esteem and positive "I-CAN" attitude!

01:11

As you progress through this course, please feel free to ask any questions and I will be happy to answer them. You can do this within the course, or via the personal messaging system.

And many parents and teachers often ask the same kinds of questions,
so I created a ‘free resource course’ where I answer many of the great
questions from all my other courses put together.

This free resource on “The top 20 questions and answers to become a better parents covers these kinds of questions:

  • Know how to stop your child's whining and sulking behaviour
  • Use alternatives to yelling and shouting, keeping your child's dignity in tact
  • Put in place effective boundaries with the 3 D's to intelligent boundaries
  • ·Understand why some children listen to you, but don't do what you ask
  • ·Know how to apply the developmental stages of child development
  • Learn why 'TIME-OUT' chairs do more damage than good
  • Deal with your child's school separation anxiety

  I am sure you will find insights, skills and possible breakthroughs by browsing through this new course. As I get new questions from you, I keep adding new lessons. Look for the course title and link in the last lesson in this course and enroll to see if it answers your question.

Section 2: The OBSERVATIONAL Model - the simplest but easiest to implement
03:47

Here we look at the first model: The observational model. It is the simplest and easiest to implement and doesn’t even require your child to agree to participate.

This model requires you to just observe and record the behaviour that you are wanting to change.

For every example of a behaviour you want to change you place a dot, and for the behaviour you want to see reinforced, you place a star.

It works well for teens, and even adults.

02:42

You may want to ask a question about a topic we are covering, or even ask a question that may not be covered in this course.

This lesson covers the basics of how to join a discussion, or how to message me personally for advice.

You are part of our global parenting family.

You are not alone.

And we have ALWAYS, found a skill that supports ANY situation.

07:53

To start using this model you can either get your child to initiate and ask you what you are doing, or you can let them know up front what you are going to do.

The different ways of starting this model all create a different experience for your child.

  1. Just start recording the behaviour and wait for them to ask you what you are doing: You can then get them to guess, or you can just tell them
  2. You let them know up front what you are going to record, and ask them if them if they have any other ideas on how to do it.
Article

This parent shared their story of how she applied the observational model on her teenage daughter.

One of the greatest concerns of parents with teenage children is that "STAR CHARTS" just wont work for older children.

When you read this story, you can see how this model worked so well, and even created a deeper bond between mother and daughter.

The parent was complaining that her daughter wasn't packing away dirty clothes in the laundry basket. But that soon changed after she implemented the Observational method... and she didn't even tell her teen what she was doing!

02:35

This is a quick overview for the observational model highlighting the most important points.

1) This model is a measurement, not a judgement.

2) You can record what you want, and what you don't want.

3) You can tell your child upfront what you are doing, or wait for them to ask you.

Test your understanding of the OBSERVATIONAL model
6 questions
Section 3: The GOAL model- the most common (but never seen before llike this)
09:43

The goal model is the closest model I have to the traditional model we are all familiar with.

But in this lecture I will point out why traditional models are short lived.

You will also learn the distinction between a reward and a celebration, and how to use the specific wording to get your child to tap into celebrating their own achievements.

The most basic component of the GOAL model is that a star is given when a certain activity is totally achieved. If it is not achieved, no star is given.

The placing of the stars does not have to be in sequential order as the final goal is only achieved when the TOTAL number of stars is achieved.

07:11

Print out the Practical sheet for the GOAL model and follow the step:

1) Is it a simple achieved or not achieved goal.

2) Write the positive wording of what you need.

3) Calculate the number of stars need to reach final goal.

4) What criteria needs to be achieved to get a star - get clear on the detail.

5) Make a sample chart to use for the explanation.

03:12

The wording to get them inspired and on board is the most important part of these star chart models.

The core focus in these models is to celebrate the effort and hard work that is required to reach the final goal.

We wish for our children to feel proud of what they have achieved, opposed to cheapened by just being rewarded by a prize.

Even if you are not an expert, the step by step wording in the practical sheet with do it all for you.

06:56

For a child to create meaning in what they do, it s best that they choose a way to acknowledge their own achievement.

So in this lecture, we wish to create an opportunity for your child to think about how something they will do will symbolize their efforts in achieving a set goal.

You will also learn the way to deal with the curve balls when your child chooses toys or objects of monetary value.

At the same time, the underlying purpose of these models is to create a sense of empowerment and a feeling of success as this accelerates behaviour change more than anything else.

01:15

Sometimes when you ask your child how they wish to celebrate something, they will come up with possible options that may not be what you are wanting.

Sometimes they want money, or expensive toys, or their request may just not be appropriate for them.

This lesson gives you an advanced method of directing your child into choosing soemthing that you want them to choose, but that still make your child feel you want the best for them.

Absorb and re-direction are the key here.

01:33

You don't have to have the perfect chart to get started.

All you need is a sample chart to use in your explanation.

Often the best results come from your child designing their own chart so keep that in mind for when you have got them on board and inspired.

Designing and making the chart together could really be helpful in making them feel you are in this TOGETHER

02:40

Here is another example of ours we did with Cailin in doing a star chart process over 130 days, even though she was only 6 years old.

Cailin had 30 minutes of extra homework to do... every day.... even on weekends and holiday periods.

This lecture shows you how a star chart can be used to create deep seated skills of perseverance, self discipline and a win/win experience for both parents and child.

The more a child experiences success with star charts, the more challenging you can make them and the greater the goals you can set.

In fact, it will even get to a point when they will keep asking you to start another one because they enjoy the process so much!

00:50

If you wish to support your child even more, then here is a way to accelerate their learning.

At the end of each day, or few days, you can ask them the following 4 questions.

Sometime you don't even have to have a conversation with them.

You can just ask the questions, and then let them share what comes up for them.

  1. So how did it go today with regards to your goal today?
  2. What did you do today that worked, that supported you?
  3. What do you think you could do tomorrow that would help you even more?
  4. Is there anything you think we could do to support you more?
01:34

This lecture gives you more tips on how to move from one model to another, and how to word it so your child still feels empowered and motivated.

Most parents want to bring about behavioural changes as quickly as possible so this lecture shares the exact way you will go about that.

The key to making a successful transition is in the wording such that your child feels supported by you instead of criticised by you.

00:58

The GOAL model relies on total achievement of an activity before a star gets rewarded. That means that even though a child may have spent the whole day putting in lots of effort, if they didn’t achieve the goal there is no recognition for their effort.

So the biggest risk is that your child gives up and becomes demotivated.

If you feel that this may happen to your child, then just move them onto the PERSEVERANCE model and this will get them to persevere even though what they are doing is still challenging.

05:40

This lesson gives you some advanced tips on how to get your child to CHOOSE to take on changing their behaviour to what YOU are wanting them to change to... but it comes across as their idea.

This lesson is a live recording of how we set up a situation so that Cailin would take on the goal of becoming more Kind and Respectful with less reacting and blaming.

Article

In this lesson I share a current story of how our family used a GOAL model star chart to get the house tidy before going to bed each night.

It's not about the big rewards, it's not about the bribes.

This is all about our family values, and celebrating our persevering and determiniation.


01:24

A quick overview of the goal model

1. Best when the task is simple: achieved or not achieved
2. When task is achieved they get a star.
3. More experienced child = more stars.
4. It's a celebration of characteristics.
5. Achieving success keeps motivation
6. Use the check-in questions

Test your understanding of the GOAL model
6 questions
02:00

I hope you are getting value and insights into how to empower your children!

Do you have any thoughts on how else I can improve this course, and give you more of what you want?

Well, I want to hear from you, either as ways to improve this course, or ways in which you are getting great results from the course!

Maybe there are parents out there that are looking just for something like this.

Section 4: The Perseverance model - how to keep them motivated to not give up!
03:41

If your child keeps struggling or giving up on their goals, then this model will totally change that.

This model cleverly keeps your child experiencing success, even though the goal they are trying to reach may be challenging at times.

The perseverance model is all about creating that feeling of "I CAN DO THIS".

And it doesn't mean you make the goal any easier.... but it just creates a greater sense of hope and achievement while they are doing it.

05:24

Print out the Practical sheet for the GOAL model and follow the steps:

  1. Write the positive wording of what you are needing.
  2. Calculate how many stars to give them at the start of each day.
  3. Calculate the average number of stars they will put on the chart every day.
  4. Calculate how many stars are needed to reach the final goal.
  5. Get clear on any criteria that is needed to go from something not achieved/ to achieved.
01:15

The wording to get them inspired and on board is the most important part of these star chart models.

The core focus in these models is to celebrate the effort and hard work that is required to reach the final goal.

We wish for our children to feel proud of what they have achieved, opposed to cheapened by just being rewarded by a prize.

Even if you are not an expert, the step by step wording in the practical sheet with do it all for you.

00:48

For a child to create meaning in what they do, it's best that they choose a way to acknowledge their own achievement.

So in this lecture, we wish to create an opportunity for your child to think about how something they will do will symbolize their efforts in achieving a set goal.

You will also learn the way to deal with the curve balls when your child chooses toys or objects of monetary value.

At the same time, the underlying purpose of these models is to create a sense of empowerment and a feeling of success as this accelerates behaviour change more than anything else.

03:06

As this model is probably something totally new for you and your child, it will really be helpful to follow the script from the Practical sheet carefully.

All these models really work in making your children feel that you are on their side... on the same team, opposed to just asking them to improve on their behaviour.

It is important that your child feel you are supporting them opposed to blaming them for something that they are finding difficult to overcome.

00:42

If you wish to support your child even more, then here is a way to accelerate their learning.

At the end of each day, or few days, you can ask them the following 4 questions.

Sometime you don't even have to have a conversation with them.

You can just ask the questions, and then let them share what comes up for them.

  1. So how did it go today with regards to your goal today?
  2. What did you do today that worked, that supported you?
  3. What do you think you could do tomorrow that would help you even more?
  4. Is there anything you think we could do to support you more?
01:34

The perseverance model unlocks the drive and motivation for your child to keep going, in spite of daily challenges and mishaps.

The underlying drive of this model is to keep creating a sense of success for your child that keeps them on track opposed to just giving up half way through.

1) Best used when you need to keep the motivation going!

2) Stars are given at the start of the day.

3) There is a specific formula for calculating the number of stars

4) Stars given back are put on the back of the chart or somewhere else, but not GIVEN BACK TO YOU!

Test you understanding of the PERSEVERANCE model.
7 questions
Section 5: The CONSISTENCY model
03:07

Sometimes, you may end a star chart model but the new behaviour has not yet become the everyday norm.

So instead of starting another goal chart process, you can move straight into the consistency model.

This model supports your child in integrating the new behaviour, while still creating a sense of success, all with a touch of creative tension.

The main difference with this model is that each day is looked at on it's own, with no stars being added together.

03:05

Print out the Practical sheet and follow the guide step by step:

1) Determine the base line number of star for each day.

2) Calculate how many stars you will give them each day.

3) Make a sample chart to use as an explanation (each day has place holders for the number of stars to be given for that day)

4) Are there any specific criteria needed to go from not achieved to ACHIEVED?

5) Decided how mnay days you would like to keep this going before your first review date.

04:21

The Consistency model is perhaps the most challenging chart to explain, just because it's so unusual than normal star charts.

Also the wording for the consequence action is so important, that your child may not really understand what you are asking them.Following the wording on the practical sheet carefully for the best results.

  1. A set number of stars are given each day.
  2. For every relapse of the previous behaviour, a star is given back.
  3. At the end of the day the remaining stars are placed on the chart.
  4. If the remaining number fall below the BASE LINE, then the agreed consequence action is triggered.

The main drive here is NOT to get your child to fall below the base line number.

Just the creative intention of their BEING a base line number will motivate a child to keep improving.

01:54

This is the only model that does not have a set end point, a there is no final goal to be reached.

You and your child will decide when you feel the new behaviour has been integrated sufficiently to stop using this chart.

So it is very important that when you set this up together, you also have an agreement as to when you will review how things are going, and to decide if you both wish to carry on, or if the end point has been reached.

01:29

The consistency model is all about integrating a new behaviour from a previous GOAL or PERSEVERANCE model.

There is no NEW set goal as the previous goals will still be in place.

But the model changes in that each day is now measured on it's own.

The motivational drive to make this work is the creative tension that your child has suggested, and agreed on.

1) Best used after a goal or perseverance model to support integration.
2) The key drive is to support and not to punish.
3) We want our children to keep succeeding and the creative tension is to support the focus.
4) There is a specific formula.
5) Set review date upfront.

The wording for the consequence action is very SPECIFIC:

What do you think we could do that is still fair and respectful to you that shows you are taking this seriously and are going to get back on track with your goal?"

Test your understanding of the CONSISTENCY model.
4 questions
Section 6: The PROCESS model
05:06

The process model is ALL about the PROCESS of getting to the goal.

Each day, a different sub-goal is set just for that day.

So although you are working towards a bigger over all goal, the beauty of this model is in the up-skilling of strategic planning and action completion.

This model requires more time and effort than the others as you and your child need to meet and spend time everyday in checking how the day went, and then deciding what the new goal will be for the following day.

But this model builds strong personality characterisitcs more than the other models.

02:47

Print out the Practical sheet and follow the step by step process:

1) Write the positive wording of what you are needing as the final goal.

2) Decided how many final stars are needing to reach this final goal? (just like in the goal model)

3) What are the crtieria to deiced when something goes from not achieved to ACHIEVED.

4) Make a sample chart to be used in the explanation.

The wording to get them inspired and on board is the most important part of these star chart models.

The core focus in these models is to celebrate the effort and hard work that is required to reach the final goal.

We wish for our children to feel proud of what they have achieved, opposed to cheapened by just being rewarded by a prize.

Even if you are not an expert, the step by step wording in the practical sheet with do it all for you.

01:33

To support your child in choosing the following day's goal, this question really unlocks their thinking:

"So what do you think you could do, or put in place tomorrow such that you feel you are moving closer to your final goal?"

And at the end of each day, you can use the standard 4 check questions.

Sometime you don't even have to have a conversation with them.

You can just ask the questions, and then let them share what comes up for them.

  1. So how did it go today with regards to your goal today?
  2. What did you do today that worked, that supported you?
  3. What do you think you could do tomorrow that would help you even more?
  4. Is there anything you think we could do to support you more?
Article

This lesson is a sharing of how my wife and I are using the PROCESS model to accelerate our online business.

We needed something that would give us strategy and focus.

We needed something that was flexible, creative, and incredible powerful.

The PROCESS model provides us with that tool.

01:05

    The process model is all about the PROCESS of getting to the goal.

    The actual goal is not as important as the thinking that goes on to GET TO THAT GOAL.

  1. This is more coaching than just parenting.
  2. Every day you reflect on how the day went.
  3. A star is achieved if that day's sub-goal is completed.
  4. This model requires more time and effort.
  5. You are training your child's thinking and self belief system.
Test your understanding of the PROCESS model.
3 questions
Section 7: The GAMIFICATION model
02:41

The gamification model is exactly the same as the GOAL model except on HOW you place and collect the STARS.

The placing of the stars is more like a board game, where you can earn bonus stars, or collect pmytery prizes.

So consider your chart looks more like a traditional board game, than a star char.

But the process of getting the stars is exactly the same as in the GOAL model.

This model requires a lot of pre-planning but can be so creative and exciting for you to do together.

00:39

I suggest the following guidelines be used when designing your board game:

•it must be fun
•it must have exciting and unknown elements
•it must have opportunities to win bonus stars
•it must have different levels
•it must have a fairly easy recordal system
•it must have ways to encourage spontaneity and initiative taking
•it should have ways to increase the pace of getting to the goal quicker

Section 8: Bonus links for more skills and your SUCCESS!
Article

More success, more links and happier and confident chidlren!

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Instructor Biography

Robin Booth, International Parenting Expert, Coach and School Principal

Robin Booth is an international expert in providing emotionally intelligent solutions to everyday parenting challenges. Over the last 15 years he has supported hundreds and thousands of teachers and parents from around the world create breakthroughs in getting their children to cooperate with them.

Internationally he is mostly known for founding the Synergy Schooling Approach. This approach demonstrates how easily personal and academic excellence can be achieved when a teacher uses skills in boosting self esteem and developing the child's internal motivation for success .

Upon experiencing the amazing changes in their children (the children being happier, more cooperative and more confident), these parents asked Robin to share with them these same skills. And now he wants to share these with you!

Robin has an incredibly unique and respectful way of understanding and unlocking the challenges parents face every day. This means you will not have come across many of these skills before.

Due to this success, Robin is often asked to travel to speak at conferences, be interviewed on TV and Radio and run workshops for parents and teachers. He has published books and many other parenting resources.

For the last 8 years, many schools in South Africa include Robin's workshops with FULL attendance by ALL their parents and teachers as they have proven so successful in building self esteem and getting cooperation.

He lives in Cape Town, South Africa, with his family.

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