Learn how to say “no” to family when you have your own needs to care for AND feel more relaxed as a result.
Develop the important communication skill of saying “no” while building closer relationships with family at the same time.
A life-changing communication skill for honest family relationships, relaxation and personal fulfillment
Learning how to say “no” can be a life-changing due to its applicability in all kinds of circumstances. Starting with your own family members is important, because these can be the trickiest of situations (due to old, hard-to-change patterns). Once you grow awareness of the barriers that prevent you from saying “no” when you really want to, new possibilities of choice and freedom open up. And learning how to get to know your own needs allows you to be more honest, authentic WHILE building developing closer family connections. This all enables you to lead a more fulfilled life. . . something we all want.
Content and Overview
This lifehack course was developed to be easily understood and possible to apply immediately by anyone ready for personal growth and who cares about keeping family connections positive, while expressing honestly and authentically. For so many of us, this is really new. It was for us, and because we are benefiting daily from our experiences, we are eager to share with you our knowledge, personal examples, tools and templates, and space for your own practice.
Through this course of X lectures and X hours of content, you will build new communication skills that enable you to say “no” with far more ease and relaxation.
You will build three critical skills for self-awareness, involving your thoughts, emotions and longings. This is the first step toward freedom of choice and moving out of your auto-pilot behavior. Once you are clear about your choice to say “no” to a request or expectations, you will have learned how to express that in a connecting way – your “yes” to yourself or your personal needs, or longings.
Along the way, you will learn how to deal with and even eliminate fear, stress, anxiety—the barriers that prevent you from saying your authentic “no.”
Lastly, you will learn how to deal with the reaction you receive after a family member hears you say “no” to them. This is a critical part of contributing to a positive interaction with mutual understanding.
In the process, you can anticipate to discover relief and relaxation in your new ability to say “no” and keep family connections positive.
Complete with downloadable exercises and PDF resources, this course will enable you to immediately start applying your new skills in daily interactions with family members (as well as the many other people making requests to you). You will find more ease in being genuinely honest—saying “no” when you do not have a full “yes”—while also caring for important family relationships in your life.
Welcome to the course! By the end of this first lecture, you will be fully aware of what the course offers you and hopefully inspired to complete it to the last lecture. It introduces:
- the topics covered in the course
- the course goals / how it will help you
- how you can know it's for you
- the skills you will have learned once you’ve completed it.
In this lecture, the instructors, Cara Crisler and Rachel Smets, introduce themselves and share:
- what inspired them personally to create this course for you
- an introduction to the benefits saying “no” to family members can bring
- a 3-minute exercise that brings you clarity why you are taking this course
This lecture introduces the 3-step process of “self-awareness.” You learn why it’s a critical part in learning to say “no” in a way that not only brings you relaxation, but also maintains family relationships. Then, in the following 3 lectures, each step is described with exercises for your practice.
This lecture introduces the 1st of 3 self-awareness skills: "Notice Thoughts." You will:
- learn how to recognize your self-talk, or inner dialogue
- start a self-awareness exercise that will help you become more conscious of not only what is happening inside your mind, but what you can do about it.
Lecture 5 introduces self-awareness skill #2: "Acknowledge Feelings." You will:
- learn how to become more conscious of what is happening in your inner world
- learn how your thoughts have a direct impact on your feelings
- continue the self-awareness exercise, learning how feelings are a source of information, not something to deny or "fix."
This lecture introduces self-awareness skill #3: "Discover Longings." You will:
- learn how to become more conscious about what is most important to you personally
- make a conscious, clear decision about your “no” or “yes” response to requests
- feel relaxed with the understanding that you sometimes have to prioritize your personal longings
Using a real life example, lecture 7 brings all three components of the very important skill, Self-Awareness, together:
1. distinguishing thoughts (or inner dialogue) from facts/reality
2. acknowledging feelings/emotions
3. discover longings (personal drivers, intentions, needs, values)
When you are able to become self-aware, or self-connected, you have a clearer perception of what is actually going on inside you so that you can make more conscious choices that lead to more life satisfaction and fulfillment.
This written lecture tells the story of Myra and Steve, a couple in an international relationship who make long, challenging family visits. They discover ways to stay in connection while visiting her family, particularly the art of "checking thoughts, or stories" and finding shared reality.
In the first 8 lectures, you learned about self-awareness, which is about finding the ‘’yes’’ behind your ‘’no.’’ But the process doesn’t end there. As soon as you imagine expressing your honesty to someone in your family, you may begin to experience fear. In this lecture, you will practice how to work through fear you may encounter around being honest about your “no.”
Lecture 10 is the written version of working through any fear that may be in your way of expressing your "no" to a family member.
Saying “no” especially to someone you care about can be quite a challenge. That’s why you want to express in a way that is gentle enough to be heard and understood. The way you express it can make all of the difference in feeling at ease and finding satisfaction with your response.
In lecture 12, you learn how to express your honest “no” in a positive way that can be heard and understood. Again, a concrete example is shared and then an exercise is provided for you to practice with your own situation.
In this lecture, you will learn how to deal with any negative reactions to your "no." The receiver of your “no” may be surprised, disappointed, even frustrated or angry. You will receive four tips for you to deal with these kind of responses in a way that can lead to a win-win outcome..
In this wrap-up lecture, Cara and Rachel congratulate you on completing the course, quickly review what you have learned, and share what you can anticipate experiencing once you start saying "no" when you do not have a "full yes." To show their gratitude, they invite you to read the following Bonus lecture, which contains many extra free resources.
Rachel is a TEDx speaker, lecturer, language instructor, and bestselling author of 'Awaken Your Confidence: 15 People share their Journey to Success.'
Living and working in several countries for many years, she developed a passion for cultures and languages. Besides boosting people's confidence, intercultural awareness and conversational languages are her favorite topics to teach online and offline.
She graduated from the University of Maryland (US) with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, and achieved her master’s degree in management from the University of St Andrews (UK).
Born and raised in Belgium, she worked and lived in several countries, and currently resides in the Netherlands.
Striving, Sure, Social & Sportive. She keeps her mind & body in balance by daily exercising either while running outside or lifting weights at the gym.
Rachel enjoys motivating and inspiring people to become the person they want to be.
~ Life changes, and so can you! ~
As accredited coach, trainer & facilitator, Cara helps people in personal and professional relationships go from conflict towards mutual understanding, connection and respectful collaboration.
Based on 20 years professional experience and trained in coaching, mediation, group facilitation and Nonviolent Communication, she provides a safe, inviting space for individuals (with inner conflict), couples and small teams to speak honestly, listen for understanding and seek creative, win-win agreements.