How to make friends in an instant
4.4 (5 ratings)
Instead of using a simple lifetime average, Udemy calculates a course's star rating by considering a number of different factors such as the number of ratings, the age of ratings, and the likelihood of fraudulent ratings.
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How to make friends in an instant

The art of building rapport and gaining trust.
4.4 (5 ratings)
Instead of using a simple lifetime average, Udemy calculates a course's star rating by considering a number of different factors such as the number of ratings, the age of ratings, and the likelihood of fraudulent ratings.
280 students enrolled
Last updated 5/2016
Current price: $10 Original price: $50 Discount: 80% off
5 hours left at this price!
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
  • 32 mins on-demand video
  • 1 Supplemental Resource
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
What Will I Learn?
  • Will have the tool to get over your shyness and able to approach anyone
  • Able to observe other people and chose the best communication too and approach to connect to them.
  • Able to connect to hard communicators and shy people
  • Able to make others talk and open up
  • AS managers, to connect to team members and get task done faster
  • Able to connect to any gender and age group
  • Able to make connection and be understood and gain trust
View Curriculum
  • Speak English
  • Have understanding of basics of communication
  • Willingness to learn
  • Willingness to make human relationships easier
  • Willingness to want to grow better future generation
  • Willingness to give up ego and get through self limitations

Did you always had a hard time connecting to others?

Do you consider yourself shy?

Are you in management position and find it hard for others to listen to you?

Are you a parent and want to have your children open to you? Are your kids not listening to you and want to change that?

Are you alone and find difficult to make friends?

There are a lot of people like you and i was one of them till I learnt NLP and the use of the tools changed my life. 

This course is for you if you are willing to take on these new tools.

You will learn the basics of communication, have the understanding on what is communications and able to take the lead in to your hand.

The result of your communication is the response you get in return. 

You want to have better response, then you have to make friends first, so the person feels instantly connected with you.. Once this is done, you can say anything, you will be heard out, and your points will be seen, and what you say will make sense. Simply the communication portal will be open for you. 

Without this open portal you will only banging your head to the wall repeating yourself uselessly. ANd i m sure you are pretty tired of it. 

So, Lets learn the art of making friends an gaining trust by building rapport.

Lets make friends with everyone and build better families, better communities and better society.

Who is the target audience?
  • If you are shy and have low self esteem connecting to others
  • If you are a parent and find it hard to connect to your kids
  • If you are in management and would like to have easier communication and tasks done faster
  • If you feel difficult to approach others and ask information
  • If you are a teacher and need to connect to students, especially to student who are labeled "difficult"
  • If you want to have tools so others will listen to you and hear you out, to see your point of you and consider your ideas
  • If you are in sales and want to connect to customers
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Curriculum For This Course
Introduction to the course
1 Lecture 01:21

We will review the parts of this course 

What is rapport , where is it needed

How do people look like when not in rapport and when in rapport

What are the tools of rapport

How can you use it in your daily life

How to observe others and how to make sure to keep rapport

Preview 01:21
Communication and Rapport
5 Lectures 30:54

In this video we will discus what is rapport, what is the definition, and how does it look like in real life.

We will also discuss how does it look like when we don't have rapport.

Rapport is the foundation between two or more people in any meaningful interaction – related to sales, negotiation, providing information, or direction to co-worker, subordinate or boss, and family member, training, coaching.

Rapport opens up the portal for the person so he/she will start listening to you, and look into your point of you. Without establishing rapport there is now communications. You only talk one way and the information what ou intended to say is not reaching the other person.

Preview 03:18

Where do we need rapport

Rapport is the foundation between two or more people in any meaningful interaction – related to sales, negotiation, providing information, or direction to co-worker, subordinate or boss, and family member, training, coaching.

You need rapport in every part of your life. If you are a manager, you need rapport for your team members. You need rapport to give instructions effectively. If you are in sales, you need rapport to increase your sales power.

If you are a parent, you need it for your kids, and spouse. If you are in a foreign environment and need to make friends, you need rapport.

Rapport can be explained in a number of ways. Rapport: is establishing an environment of;


- understanding

- respect

- safety

- gives a person the freedom to fully express their ideas, concerns,

to know that they will be respected by the other person

-       creates the space for the other person to feel listened to and heard and it doesn't mean they have to agree with what the other says or does

-       allows for each person to appreciate the other person point of view and respects their model of the world


How do people look like when in Rapport

-       When people enjoy each other company, they use same phrases, words, dress similar way or have matching body language

-       See group of teenagers: postures, gestures, voice tonality,

Preview 05:50

Recognizing rapport in real life

Exercise: Observe someone who doesn't want to be on a meeting, or who didn't trust the other people in the meeting – note  their body language, voice tonality, where they sat—compared to those who wanted to be on the meeting

Look at different pictures and scenarios in life. Look at people who are not listening, who are annoyed, angry and just don't want to be there.

Look at their faces, their eyes, skin tones, and body language.

Next Look at the person you are talking to and see how he is in rapport with you or when are they breaking rapport.


People make minute changes from moment to moment- and those changes all have meaning, if you have enough sensory acuity. – Milton Ericson Model

1.     Skin color:                  Light --- dark

2.     Skin tonus – the tone of the muscles – look for shine)

Symmetrical --- Nor symmetrical

3.     Breathing:

Rate:               Fast ----- Slow

Location:         High ---- Low

4.     Lower lip size:            Lines ----- No lines

5.     Eyes

Focus:                         Focused ---- Defocused

Pupil dilation:            Dilated --- Undilated

Recognizing Rapport in real life

How to establish Rapport

Desired Outcome:

To be able to establish rapport with any person, at any moment of a time


Communication is

7% Words

38% Tonality

55% Physiology

When people are like each other, they like each other.

Rapport is process of responsiveness, not necessarily “likings”


Matching and mirroring establish rapport.

The major elements of rapport: (* marks key elements)

. Based on this step, trust builds.

Mirroring & Matching


- Posture *

- Gesture

- Facial expression & blinking*

- Breathing


            2. TONALITY (38%)


o   Tone  (Pitch)

o   Tempo (Speed)

o   Timbre (Quality)

o   Volume (Loudness)

3      WORDS (7%)

-       Predicates

-       Key words

-       Common experiences & Associations

-       Content chunks

Smile is the most basic element of building rapport. Smile tells the other person that he /she is accepted.

How to establish rapport

 What is Matching and mirroring?

When you are approaching someone or someone is sitting behind a desk you need to observe the person and match and mirror at least one thing what he is doing. If he sits with crossed leg, cross your legs too. Don't move with the person like you are mimicking, but make it smooth with a small time delay.

Matching toe of voice and the chunk of the info is the next. If the person interested talking general don't go into details, unless you are asked for it.

The most unnoticeable matching and mirroring is breathing. Watch how the other person breathes shallow or fast, deep and slow, and mirror that.


Rapport in Practice

1.     Match modality

2.     Physical Mirroring

3.     Match voice

4.     Match breathing

5.     Match the size of the piece of information

6.     Match common experiences

How do you know when you are in rapport?

Develop sensory acuity to sense people, to see people’s reaction to your communication. Watch their eyes, muscles around the eyes, lower lip, color of the face and hands, breathing.

Signals in your own body: almost like nervousness or anticipation feeling in the legs and chest,

Color of your own face begins to change—it's a Feeling of warmth rises up from your neck. AS you notice this, one minute later the other person face color start changing, and within a minute the person will say something like “ ….(your name) is my friend, or “ I feel like I know you for ever”

Pacing and leading will also tell if you are in rapport. If you pace for 5-10 minutes and then you take the lead they will follow if in rapport.

What is matching and mirroring
About the Instructor
Dr Zsuzsanna Fajcsak
4.1 Average rating
190 Reviews
8,085 Students
10 Courses
Live your life Alive - Performance Coaching

As a “change maker” Dr Zsu works on 3 areas:

1. Health/lifestyle
2. Coaching/Inspiration
3. Education via mobile phone

Zsuzsanna has been schooled in Europe and the USA, and holds a Doctoral degree in Nutrition, as well as Master’s degrees in Teaching Physical Education, Exercise Physiology and Clinical Nutrition. Zsuzsanna is a Certified NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Time Line Therapy™ Coach, Certified Nutrition Specialist (Member of the American College of Nutrition), Certified in Functional Diagnostic Medicine, and a Yoga teacher trainer, who is passionate about the human mind and its power over physical health and performance.

Dr Zsu's Sessions focus on integrated Health, ad her Trademarked Alive program includes 4 areas:

1. How you think

2. How you eat

3. How you move

4. How you rest and refresh your body and mind

Dr Zsu’s mission is to make a difference and facilitate changes in peoples lives reaching sustainable health and wealth