Do you want to make an amazing impression on everyone you meet?
It doesn’t matter if you’re walking into a social scene or if you’re stepping into the boardroom to make a pitch to a room of CEOs and investors…
If you aren’t at the top of your game during the first impression, you’re sunk.
It doesn’t matter how compelling you are later, research shows that if you don’t make a good first impression you won’t even get a chance.
Has that ever happened to you? You hesitate or freeze up and the best of your personality doesn't shine through?
Maybe it’s a first meeting with some senior managers at your company. Maybe it’s with an attractive person you meet at a social gathering…
You freeze up and don’t know what to do. You get stuck in your own head, or worse, say something stupid which just makes them go, “Who the heck is this person?”
If so, you’re not alone.
I used to do that on a daily basis.
I’d be fine with close friends and people I knew well. But give me an opportunity to meet someone that I wanted to connect with and my nerves would get the best of me. I’d shut down, blow it, and never get another chance with them.
And it wasn’t just me…
FACT: FIRST IMPRESSIONS “STICK
Sociologists studying first impressions found that first impressions become “bound” in people’s memories.
What does that mean? Well, lets say you mess up the second or third meeting…
Studies show people are likely to think it was just situational. They think, “Oh he was just having an off moment.”
But If you do the same exact thing in your first meeting, that impression becomes bound to YOU. Not the situation. So if you screw up the first meeting, people are likely to think YOU are a screw up.
On the other hand, if you make an amazing impression, you get the benefit of people thinking highly of you in future interactions…
Now do you see why those first few minutes of interaction are so important?
And yet, nobody talks about how to master them!
You’re supposed to be on all the time.
And you probably are pretty often, but it’s in those high pressure situations where first impressions really count.
So rather than just accept that we were doomed to be hit or miss in our impressions, I got to work.
I started breaking down everything the most charismatic people were doing when they met other people. I studied the kind of people that others seem to like instantly.
What I found is that if you want to make an impression like these people you’re going to have to do some things differently.
(But don’t worry…it’s not like anything they are doing is immoral or super difficult. In fact, if you do it right, you’ll actually find that all of your first interactions go better — not just the high pressure ones.)
It’s not very complicated either. There are just 4 emotions you need to hit on to make an incredible impression EVERY time.
Here’s a quick example of the power of those emotions in action.
CASE STUDY: FREE SCHOLARSHIP MONEY
Paul is one of those guys people just like.
I’ve known him since I was young. Almost every time I introduce him to someone, they come back to me gushing: “Oh my god, your friend Paul is amazing!”
Guys and girls alike, he just has it.
So when he was applying to law school, I went with him to visit one of the top 10 in the nation.
While walking around he struck up a conversation with a student. She happened to moonlight as a tour guide so she showed him around.
She led him around the building and finally took him to the Dean of Admissions’ office.
The Dean was in, so naturally Paul started a conversation with him. Five minutes later the Dean invited Paul into his office.
Paul talked to the Dean about wiffle ball and the Philadelphia Eagles and his time at the prosecutor’s office. After 20 minutes the Dean pulled out the application Paul had submitted weeks earlier.
“Hmmmm…I remember your application. Looks like you were right in the middle of the pack. We have you on wait list…let’s take care of that right now.”
He went into the computer. Hammered out a few keystrokes, and boom: Paul was accepted. With a $20,000/year scholarship to boot.
That’s $60,000 over 3 years, earned in 20 minutes of conversation! At a school that may not have even accepted him.
That’s why I sat down to figure out first impressions! The power to unlock the potential of any situation is incredible when you can consistently make an amazing first impression on people.
Enter: First Impression Mastery
To crack the code, I studied what the best of the best do.
Yes, I am talking hundreds of hours spent watching the worlds most charismatic people.
I’m talking people like Will Smith, Bill Clinton, and Jennifer Lawrence…
And when I finished, I was left with an hour long course on nailing the first impression every single time, no matter who you’re with.Here’s a sampling of what’s covered in this course
By the end you will:
So if you want to make leaving an amazing first impression your superpower, click the “add to cart” button and get started today!
An introduction to what students will learn and the importance of making a first impression in business and personal contexts.
Most people enter into conversation thinking "how can I impress this person?" or "how can I make them like me?" This type of self-talk will actually sabotage you.
A more effective question is "How can I make this person feel the kinds of emotions that will make this interaction stick in their mind?" The 4 emotions are discussed in the next lesson.
The 4 emotions must be presented in order:
Fun - The person's mood is lifted by being around you
Trust - The person feels that they can trust your motives and your integrity
Respect - The person feels like you are a leader or like they have something to learn from you
Valued - The person feels like you care about them and their opinions
If you can make someone feel these four emotions in order, you are guaranteed to make a great first impression.
Genuine smiles have 3 characteristics: a smile that is pulled upward, a relaxed lower jaw, and tension in the muscles around the eye. You need to make sure that your smiles when you meet people are the genuine kind, not the false, plastered on smile. The easiest way to do that is to learn the indicators of a genuine smile and then practice chuckling to yourself to the point where it becomes natural to enter immediately into a genuine smile.
Feelings of trust are mostly conveyed non-verbally. Touching is one of the best ways to build trust. Make sure to shake hands of everyone when entering a room. If it is a social context, hugs may be appropriate. Shoulder claps and small touches to the forearm to accentuate points work as well. Make sure to give people your full attention for the moment in which you greet them.
Aladdin demonstrates the importance of eye contact.
Obama demonstrates how to greet many people at once.
Jennifer Lawrence reveals her flaws, acts goofy, and engenders trust
Respect comes from a feeling of leadership. This can be in the form of guiding the topic of conversation, or being a VIP in certain circles, or of teaching people things they didn't know.
You will get asked "How are you?" "What do you do?" "and "Where are you from?" In almost every first meetings. You must take the time to craft answers to these questions that crete a feeling of respect in the people you speak with. Make sure to hook them so they continue to ask follow up questions.
A live volunteer demonstrates that how you expand upon the questions given to you can shape the flow of conversation. It is also very important to highlight things the person you are speaking to is likely to find fascinating so that they are intrigued and want to know more about you.
Once someone has had the feelings of fun, trust, and respect, they will value your opinion. Now is the perfect time to show them you are interested in them. This makes people feel wonderful as someone they admire is showing genuine interest.
People really value their names. And most people forget them immediately, hoping someone nearby will clue them in if they ever meet again. If you take the time to remember names, you will immediately show that person that you value them. You can use them in conversation to accentuate your point, when saying goodbye, or when meeting them a second time.
When you ask people their advice, you show them that you value their opinion. If you have taken the steps to make them care about you, this will increase rapport and seal the deal on your great first impression.
Review of the key elements of the first impression including the mindsets and emotions you need to create.
Today's homework: effusively greet people when they as you "how are you?"
Today's homework: touch someone when greeting them (handshake, shoulder pat, or hug depending on the context)
Today's homework: complete the "where are you from?" worksheet and use your answer in conversation
Make strong eye contact with someone that might make you a bit nervous.
My name is Charlie and when I was in high school I won "Most Likely to Break Out of His Shell in College."
That was 8 years ago. Since then I have studied improv comedy, posture, body language, the psychology of confidence and have taught hundreds of men and women how to enhance their charisma.