Learn the theory, communication techniques, and exercises you will need to transform your relationship out of conflict and frustration, and into deep understanding and connection.
What you will Learn
Content and Overview
Have you ever wondered if the fights you’re having in your relationship could mean that you chose the wrong partner?
Perhaps you’ve been slipping into a HOT relationship, full of criticism and reactivity. Or maybe you’ve settled for a COLD relationship, where you live distant lives, lacking passion and intimacy.
Are you one of the 50 percent of Americans who are seriously thinking about divorce? If you answered YES to any of these questions, I want you to understand that breaking up is not inevitable. There is a solution.
In this course I’ll teach you what’s really happening in your relationship and what you can do about it. And if you are just beginning a relationship, this course will show you how to navigate through the Power Struggle when it hits during the next 2 years.
I’ll be teaching this course in a way that I hope you’ll find interesting. You won’t see my talking head. Instead, I’ve animated each video lesson with moving words and images. I hired a professional voiceover for the script and added music to keep you alert. I created 12 short videos (4-7 minutes) to break up the information into manageable chunks.
I’ve packed years of my professional experience (working with couples and presenting workshops) into each lesson. It is very important to follow these lessons in order. The material is complex so I start easy and end with a bang! You will benefit from watching these videos many times. I provide many exercises and handouts to support your work.
In last lesson you’ll witness a real couple using the Compassion Dialogue to unlock the mystery of a previous frustration that led to conflict. I added subtitles during the demonstration so you understand exactly where they are in the process. You can download the Compassion Dialogue script and follow along as well.
By the end of this course you understand your relationship journey from the moment you left the womb to your present day experiences. You will be able to identify your wounding and what you need to heal. You’ll discover what parts of yourself you gave up to survive in your family system. You’ll understand that you chose your partner specifically to teach you how to recover your Lost Parts. You’ll be able to communicate in a new way to reveal your unique relationship blueprint for growth and healing. And you will finally have a plan to divorce-proof your relationship, and give your partner the gift of forever.
The defensive patterns and behaviors that protected you in childhood, are now blocking you from connecting with your partner and from feeling fully alive today. In this lesson you'll discover that your brain develops a template for partner selection that is highly influenced by your childhood experiences with others. Your brain template directs you toward a partner who will help you heal from the pain of the past, and recover your lost wholeness and aliveness.
Bag #1 represents your Unmet Needs.You will make a lot of noise about this bag in the form of Complaints and Criticisms, all directed at your partner, until you bring this information forward into consciousness.
Bag #3 represents your defenses. You'll learn how unmet needs contribute to the formation of defenses. An exercise in the video will help you discover one of your defenses, and how it 's related to your childhood wound.
Bag #2 represents your Lost Parts. These are the parts of yourself you restricted based on feedback from your caretakers. Because you gave up these natural parts, you no longer feel whole and complete. You pick a partner who will help you recover your parts. This lesson includes a written exercise to help you discover your Lost Parts.
The Turtle and Tiger dance. When you watch this video, you’ll discover that the behavior your using to protect yourself from pain, is the behavior that causes your partner the most pain. You’ll learn how to modify the dance. Download the handout for a more detailed behavioral description.
Did you know that there are 3 relationship stages? Stage 2 is called the Power Struggle. I like to call this the “Working” stage. If you don’t do the work, you’ll lay awake at night, wondering if you made the right partner choice. If you embrace the work, you will move into Stage 3, called Real Love.
How The Imago Dialogue Works. I'll explain how this communication process works to reveal your unconscious blueprint for a happy and loving relationship.
You'll learn how to do the dialogue. And you can download: The dialogue directions, A simple dialogue, A detailed dialogue, An appreciation dialogue, A weekly check-in dialogue, And the Sender/Receiver responsibilities.
Watch this video to understand the lead-up to the Compassion Dialogue demonstartion.
You'll watch a video of a real couple doing the dialogue. The video is labeled with subtitles so you see exactly what is happening, when it is happening. You'll observe this couple transform their struggle in 20 minutes. A topic that used to produce conflict now becomes a source of connection. Make sure you download your copy of the Compassion Dialogue. Use it to transform a frustration into deep connection.
Ralph Butcher is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, Imago Workshop Presenter, and Consultant to other Therapists. Ralph’s specialty is helping couples understand their unique relationship blueprint by guiding them through their confusing maze of frustration and conflict. His unique approach helps couples restore connection and increase intimacy. Ralph is passionate about presenting couples workshops with his colleague where he brings his humor, knowledge, and ten years of stage acting to these live events. Ralph has lectured Internationally and has presented hundreds of couples workshops.