Wouldn't you like to know how to get along with people who are really difficult to get along with? The primary reason people get sick is because they are stressed out, anxious and tense all the time. Butting heads against difficult people exhausts all of our energy, stresses us out and worst of all, makes us sick.
More and more people are troubled these days which certainly makes more and more people difficult to deal with. They project their problems and issues onto us. And yet. we have done nothing to deserve such mean and ornery treatment.
Some difficult people are close family members, even spouses. Others are co-workers, bosses and friends. Most difficult people are not mentally ill. They are just darn difficult to get along with. We may want and need to hang out with such persons but they make it oh so terribly difficult to do so! Of course, we cannot avoid some difficult people because they are family members.
OK. Everyone has difficult people in their life. When you deal with the difficult people in your life how can you ...
This course makes dealing with difficult people simple. How? Five types of difficult people are described in my mashup videos. Once you realize who you are dealing with, you will know the secret to getting along with them (and protecting yourself from getting stressed out).
This course explains how to know for sure who you are dealing with.
Once you figure out which of the five types of difficult people who you are dealing with, you will know how to get along with them without pulling all of your hair out and making yourself sick. Strategies for getting along differ depending on who you are dealing with.
There is a reason that explains why people are difficult! Once you understand this reason you can at least understand why they are behaving like jerks when they insult, belittle or demean you which - as we all know too well - is what difficult people are experts at doing to us.
Listed in November of this year (2015), my new course has enrolled over 700 students already. Join the rapidly growing class of people who are determined to get along with the people in their life that are just plain difficult to get along with!
I am so proud of my course that enrollment comes with a 30 day full money back guarantee - no questions asked.
Here is my short and sweet introduction to my course. The bottom line is this: Once you have a good idea why someone is being a "pain in the ass" so to speak, you will know what you have to do (if you so choose) to get along with them. Sometimes - you have no choice - they are colleagues, co-workers, family members or friends from a time long ago and far away. The lessons to be learned are simple but powerful. Use them and watch the stress in your life melt like an ice cream cone in the summer.
How many types of Difficult People Are There?
If you are like me you have likely conjured up thousands of ways a difficult person in your life (who may be a close friend or family member) needs to change. Everyone else knows they are difficult! The only one in the dark is them. You want to be a good friend to them. You want to let them in on what everyone else says about them. They do not know they are a "pain in the ass."
I certainly honor such a choice and wish you the best of luck. This course however offers no tips or suggestions for how to change someone. In my experience, only they can make that choice. The emphasis in this course is accepting the reality of your relationship with the difficult people in your life:
In most cases, only a small shift in your response to them is needed. Getting a long with people is not rocket science. It only takes small adjustments on your part.
Keep in mind the primary goals of this course:
We all know people who are hard to connect with and are seldom able to figure out what is up with them. This is particularly frustrating when we ask, probe and express our interest in their welfare. We want to know what is "up" with them. It is obvious something is troubling them! But, we can seldom get answers from them to the most direct and obvious of questions:
We all know such people. You may have had bosses like this. Or, you may be married to someone like this. And yes. Their behavior will cause you to pull all of your hair out!
I refer to such persons as masochists. They are not mentally ill! They simply like to keep their feelings and thoughts buried deep inside. When you insist on getting a response from them, they will usually dig their heels deeper into the mud of their depression. In other words, each time you press for a response from them, you will be less and less likely to get an answer.
This lecture explains why and what you must to get along with them.
There are several important rules to keep in mind when hanging out or working with a person with masochistic tendencies
How in the world can you get along with a person whose primary motive is to seek power and exert control over other people? This describes many people in the world today. They are often are in positions of authority.
I refer to such persons as "psychopaths" in this lecture. Please do not think for one moment that this term means that people who have "psychopathic" tendencies are necessarily mentally ill. Far from it! They are totally sane, rational and for the most part competent people who simply behave in ways that can drive us absolutely wacko.
After all, when you disagree with someone it is no fun when someone is shouting at you one inch from your face.
I have no doubt that you may be surprised with my recommendation in this lecture. Keep in mind that the idea here is to get along with such people. The idea is not to make "good" decisions or come to group consensus on difficult problems. There may well come an appropriate time and place to offer your own ideas about an issue or problem. But, I can assure you that if your thinking differs from the person with psychopathic tendencies, you will never win an argument with them. They will also not change their mind even in the face of the most rational and logical arguments that refute their position.
In the end, the goal here is to keep your own sanity. The objective is to maintain your own health. If you "take them on", the likelihood you will get sick is very high because of all the stress you will encounter.
OK. So you feel as though you just have to speak up? Such persons can be unbelievably overwhelming. And by the way, if you do decide to "speak you mind" they are not the one who get sick! You are.
There is no question but that one of the most perplexing dilemmas for everyone is to figure out how to respond to someone who is insists on overpowering you no matter what the situation.
It can be scary to deal with someone who insists on overpowering you!
What is the bottom line when dealing with a person who always wants to control you and insists on being right every single time? It is easy to get lost when dealing with such people (and there are many) because the issues can get so gosh darn complicated.
Here is my Make it Simple Summary of how to respond to such persons. The goal hers is to keep your sanity as well as your good health!
When you hang out with certain people it seems all you want to do is sleep. How come?
How you can tell for sure that the person has "oral" tendencies that suck the energy of other people
Yep - no doubt about it. If you are married to a person who wants to hang out with you all the time can be a drag. OK - so you love them. You have always loved them. You love everything about them ... except the fact that they refuse to give you "space." and "alone time." How can you create a life that gives you the time to yourself so you can remember who you are? When you spend so much time with someone, it is easy to forget who you are.
Are you a person who likes to plan out your day? You will likely find that people who are unpredictable and spontaneous will drive you crazy. They can be so easily distracted from the task at end. It is disgusting when they show so little discipline and respect for order, eh? The next lecture is for your eyes only.
Or, are you that person who is completely spontaneous. Screw the plan if there is one. The only way to get anything done is to go out and start doing it. Duh! Planning wastes time and energy. It is just not what people say it is cracked up to be. If you are a doer, skip the next lecture and listen to the lecture that follows. It will help you deal with the people in the world who, unlike you, love to plan out every minute of their life.
Which end of the spectrum do you fall: Are you a planner or a doer?
Are you an action person? Do you prefer to "do it" not sit around reading about it? Would you rather get started with a project right now rather than spending weeks planning out how it will be done? Do you have no problem changing course in a flash when the insight strikes? This lecture is for your eyes only!
We all find ourselves in situations where we must get along with people who are terribly difficult to get along with. The approach in this course for dealing with them is to first figure out who you are dealing with (are they a control freak or emotionally retarded or an energy vacuum or ...) and then respond in ways that pave the way for a smooth relationship. In other words, we adjust to them and never expect that they will adjust to us.
There are many situations however where we allow ourselves to be embroiled in relationships with people who are terribly difficult to get along with. Why in the world do we do this to ourselves? We know it will stress us out. We know that the stress from such relationships will eventually make us sick. Why do we continue to be involved in a relationship that only causes stress, discomfort and illness?
OK - so you find yourself getting stressed out and sick because you continue to hang out with a terribly difficult and obnoxious person. You have tried my suggestions for "getting along with them" but but you are still frazzled every time you connect with them. What's up doc?
Alright - let's consider a second possibility. Here is a hint: Perhaps this most difficult person is here to teach you something? Hummm.....
OK. So you have reviewed the two reasons I have suggested for why you continue to hang out with a person (or persons) or drive you stark raving crazy. Neither reason resonates with you. Maybe, just maybe, there is a third reason - one that flies so far under the radar that you would never see it unless you know where to look.
Sometimes the simplest solution to getting along with a difficult person is to disengage. Why don't you?
After some reflection, you cannot find any reason why you are getting anything out of a relationship you have with a person who is very difficult to get along with - someone who drives you to pull your hair out. You use the suggestions I have offered and they certainly help you get along. Great. That is what the course has been all about. But consider the possibility that a better choice for you might be to "dump" them. This makes room in your life for new friends who give you energy and inspiration rather than spending your time hanging out with people who drain your energy to the point of exhaustion. It is one easy way to reduce stress and stay healthy!
After graduating from Vanderbilt University with his undergraduate degree and Cornell University with his master's degree, Robert earned his Ph.D. from Michigan State University in 1981. He served as a faculty member at the University of Texas at Austin in the 1980's and was a professor and Director of the Ph.D. and MHA programs at the University of Kentucky during the 1990's.
Robert left university life in 2003 to create Zero Point Healers with Deborah Russell. He now pursues his passion for discovering natural remedies and therapies that heal chronic illnesses. His discoveries are documented in books and discussed on the Parkinsons Recovery radio show. Since 2005 Robert has focused on helping persons with Parkinson's disease find relief from their symptoms using natural methods and approaches.