What is the course about?
Breaking free from labels that restrict gay men form fulfilling their potential, the fear of not being good enough, overcoming limiting beliefs and self doubt and transforming the lives of gay men so they take actions with confidence and self belief in themselves.
What kind of materials are included?
How is the course structured?
This Udemy based programme takes place over 28 days with daily videos and focused confidence boosting activities using a programme manual.
Why take this course?
This course is for you if any of the following challenges you can relate to:
Life isn't too short, its too long to be struggling and feel that you aren't living the life you want to, and deserve, to be living.
By examining, reflecting, engaging and exploring ways of realising your power through letting go of old defeatist conditioning, overcoming personal sabotage techniques, shifting perceptions and expectations, creating new empowering patterns of living and breaking free from the labels you have grown up with you'll gain trust, faith, self respect and confidence in themselves and their decisions. Its about taking control rather than being controlled.
When you unlock your power your increase your self-worth and live a life that positively and permanently makes your life happier and more fulfilling to you, those around you and the rest of the planet.
What do I need before I begin?
Hello and welcome to Unlock Your Power - the world's first complete-confidence and super-success programme for gay men.
'Failure to plan is a plan to fail'
I recommend you spend at least a day preparing by following my instructions in the video and reading welcome message in the manual (attached as downloadable material). You will need your manual daily throughout the programme. I recommend you store it somewhere where you will be able to access it every day at the time you assign to complete the activities.
How to use this course:
1. Watch preparation videos 1 & 2
2. Choose a start date
3. Choose to either print the Unlock Your Power Manual or work on it in the editable format on a computer/device.
4. From days 1 – 28 start with watching the corresponding video in the coruse then complete the activity in the manual.
5. Contact me if you have any difficulties
Enjoy the day you create.
Every journey begins with one step and today your journey to unlocking your power begins. Be kind to yourself as you start out from where you are today.
It's too easy to beat ourselves up thinking we should have taken this step before. The reality is you weren't ready until today and now you're starting. Maybe begin with a pat on the back?
Rather than restricting and stifling us, routine allows us to create space to thrive and grow. With routine we stop chasing our tails and find stability and energy to focus on us.
Today you begin creating a routine that gives you space for you to focus on you. It's not selfish, it's about taking care of you so you can then help others!
Practice makes perfect and today you are practising your daily activities that are your foundation throughout the programme.
Habits develop quickly and it's time to get into the habit of focusing on you for the next four weeks. Knowing that you matter helps you become the person you want to be and that matters to those who care and love you.
Mind reading is for the stage yet many of us spend lots of time and energy doing it in our daily lives. We assume and then make choices based on that assumption and then wonder why we get it so wrong.
No matter how much you want to, you can't read minds. It's called guessing, zaps your self-worth and power and it's time to stop. You haven't got the time anymore. Today it's time to start your life from you rather than reacting to the desires and wishes of others.
Most of my life I wanted to be loved - or at least liked - by everyone. I now know that when I am true to myself not everyone will like me. It's realistic really since not everyone has the same values as me.
Today is about discovering what your values are and the difference knowing your values makes to you and your power.
Beliefs matter. They are so powerful people live and die by them. They shape the world we experience, determine our choices and are the foundation of bigotry, prejudice and discrimination. They vary greatly and impact on us daily.
Today is about exploring your own beliefs and the power they have in your life. Your eyes may be opened!
The power of self-reflection is often underestimated. When we reflect we can decide if we're heading where we think we are, allows time to appreciate our efforts and gives perspective on what is really going on in our lives. Without it we are aimless and uncertain.
After your first week of Unlock Your Power, it's time to take time out and reflect on you and your own journey over the past seven days.
If you want to know what is important to you in your life look around you. What you see is where you have focused your energy and what you have attracted into your life.
Today explores your power in attracting what you want in your life and why crying is as important as laughing.
Have you ever noticed that you get in your own way when you want things to happen? This is called self-sabotage and is when you say you want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen! I know I've done it so many times.
By being aware of what you do, you can change it. Today is about that awareness.
Our freedom from the influence of others comes when we declare where who we are and what we stand for. It is where our power lies. Often though we say 'yes' when we'd rather say 'no'.
Today it's time to find out about the power of 'no' and why it could be the most powerful word you ever use.
What you repeat continually you become. It is the power of your mantra. Are you using a mantra that defeats you rather than supports you? Do you even know what your mantra is?
Your mantra is your own power-pack that can focus you on the incredible person you are. Today is a day to get boosted.
When we focus on the problems of others we are able to ignore our own challenges. Its why giving advice is so easy yet taking it, especially our own, is so tough. When we pause and sit in stillness and silence something incredible happens.
Today is your opportunity to discover the power of stillness and silence.
One of the biggest challenges I face in my life was the stories I told myself about me, others and the world. Once I changed my stories guess what? My life changed. It's not the world we see it's the way we see the world.
It's time to re-write your stories and change the endings.
Isn't it funny how attractive cleaning the kitchen can be when you have a deadline to meet? Maybe you go shopping, check your social apps or go to the gym to avoid something that feels uncomfortable? These are time zappers and we all have them.
Now it's time to stop using them as 'opt outs' and focus on opting in. Today it's time to be honest!
Your mind and body are connected. The way you sit affects the way you feel and the way you feel affects the way you sit. Your journey into understanding the significance and power of this connection starts today.
Nourishing the body is about much more than food. It's about feeding the part within each of us through activities that make us feel good inside and that give our lives depth and fulfilment.
When we feel we have space in our lives we thrive and grow. Our mindset becomes open and curious and we see possibilities. We have the ability to develop space in our lives and today it begins with breathing and creating patterns that allow us to expand and find our full power.
Your posture and the way you stand changes more than how others perceive you. They also immediately change your own body chemistry. Surprised? I was.
Today explores the power you have within you through your 'power poses'.
After three weeks, today gives you space to focus on your achievements, behaviour and mindset. Once you know who you truly are through reflection and pausing, you can be an amazing person to others and yourself.
Today it's time for the power of reflection and pausing.
Your food makes a real difference to the way you think, feel and act. It really is that influential.
Today lets you discover how food can help you realise your full potential and support you as you unlock your power.
You are designed to move and your body has a powerful role to play in changing your focus, your energy and motivation and your life! When you move you are truly alive.
It's time to get physical and find out why moving your body matters.
Intentions, goals and attachments make a big difference to how you keep your power in your life within you. Understanding the differences between them can change how you live your life.
Today it's time to discover the differences.
As you have regained your power, your trust and faith in yourself and your actions will have increased.
Today you take your own show on the road by doing random acts of kindness and showing yourself your own real power.
Facing our fears means they lose their power over us. Yet what are our fears really? Are they simply false evidence appearing real (FEAR)?
Today you get the opportunity to decide for yourself.
With every ending there comes a new beginning. As you undertake your last day of Unlock Your Power, it'
Each day I wake up excited at the thought of the day ahead. Really excited. Life is a fantastic, wonderful journey and I love the life I am living. My aim is simple. I want to help other people love the life they are living – whatever that means for them.
Despite feeling as I do now, for years my biggest challenge was living up to the label of being a man. I believed I was expected to play a particular role to enable me to fit in, succeed and be accepted. That's the trouble with labels. They create an expectation of how we feel we should be. We become attached to them and identify ourselves with them. We condition our minds and bodies to learn, to think, to act, to feel the way we believe someone with that label should. We are governed by an invisible committee and lose our true self in the doubt and confusion. Labels mean we create all sorts of stories until we can only think in labels! Labels quickly become the epitome of a self-fullfilling prophecy and the perfect tool to condemn ourselves so we live in fear of being found out and that we aren't good enough.
Like all of us, my life has been a mixture of ups and downs, highs and lows. Before I turned 35, I had a long list of fantastic achievements. Despite the successes, there was a hole in my life and something was missing. I just wasn't fulfilled. I found hiding was a good idea and a great strategy to survive. I wore a mask and hid in plain sight. I was loud and the life and soul of the party. As everyone else always seemed so sorted, inside I was always wondering if I was doing the right thing. I know differently now. I felt irrelevant in a world where everyone else seemed to fit perfectly. I was an expert 'people pleaser'.
I attached my value to people and things external to me. That was always a recipe for disaster. Somehow I survived. Dusted myself off and got on – that's what men are meant to do. There were times when I did feel worthy…when I'd worked out at the gym, had sex, got praised, felt I looked good on the outside or delivered a radio show. The feeling was always temporary and I didn't trust it. Life was full of judgements and comparisons. I'd be a winner and then a loser. I couldn't make decisions – to many people's amusement it took me over six months to choose a new car! For the majority of my life circumstances and other people made decisions for me.
The problem was I didn't really know any other way. I came up with lots of reasons why I didn't fit in. I'm sure you'll have your own. They aren't actually important. I didn't know who I was and what I was supposed to do. Trying to live up to the expectations of a label does that. Life though gives us opportunities to change. Being aware of them is the key!
Looking back I now see I had a series of breakdowns. I've heard them called 'spiritual awakenings' and that works for me. Each awakening was linked to the loss of someone I'd become attached to or a specific event when loss was involved. In my relationship, I told my partner I was glad he needed me. His reply was “I'll never need you. You are in my life because I want you to be". This shocked me to my core. It was the antithesis of everything I believed relationships should be. I had always believed that being needed made the world go round. It proved to be a pivotal point in my life. I'm guessing you may have one or two of your own? In that moment, I knew my life could be about more than I had been experiencing. It was as if the blinkers had been taken off and I could see clearly. Life was about being me not being the idea of a man. On that day, I took the first step towards creating Unlock Your Power with a series of realisations, shifts in mindset and changes in me that continue to this day.
People came into my life as well…incredible, wonderful people along with others who challenged me. Everyone and everything that has ever happened was all part of me becoming who I am today. The tough hurtful people and the kind compassionate ones. To them all I'm grateful, externally grateful. Without one of them the outcome could have been different. They all mattered.
I went on many courses, so many, and read as well, lots of reading. I qualified in many areas. I opened my mind to other possibilities. I let my beliefs be challenged. I studied different ways of living life. I went up many blind alleys, had great insights, wondered, dismissed and worried if I was getting things right. I doubted then had certainty.
I used meditation, movement, nutrition, muscle activation with Douglas Heel, coaching, language, studied the works of many wise and insightful people, discovered the power of solitude and reflection and had the love and support of many amazing people. They know who they are and I thank you with all my heart.
I became aware, very aware, of what I'd been doing and the way I'd been surviving my life. Ignorance really is bliss until you realise what's been going on. It was painful and there were tears. I wanted to beat myself up yet instead was kind. The past is over and how we choose to look at it is up to us. Life is a journey and it's about learning. There are only choices never mistakes.
I let go of my old restricting patterns of thinking, feeling and doing and found new empowering ones with Douglas Heel's muscle activation and solution focused coaching. As a result I saw vulnerability as strength rather than a weakness and allowed myself to be vulnerable. That was terrifying when you consciously do it for the first time! It is worth it though. Trust yourself.
Slowly I began to have trust and faith in me. Bit wobbly at first. I started to take responsibility for me. My life was up to me! So is yours by the way. My world moved from being all about me to being about others as well. It was time to create a way to help others using all that I'd experienced and discovered. Unlock Your Power was completed. It is my passion and that passion grows every single day.
Today, I work with people who want to free of labels, be themselves and have a desire to make a difference to their lives. Athletes who want to fulfil their real potential as people who love moving their bodies; men who are ready to realise their own power, want self worth and have trust and faith in themselves; and with coaches, sports and life coaches, who want their clients to thrive and fulfil their potential using both their mind and body.
I believe each day is up to you to create and that you have the power to make your life incredible. Unlock Your Power is here to help you do that.