Procrastination is one of those things that can get debilitating and degrading. We hate ourselves for procrastinating, but we cannot control ourselves from doing it. So it's a self-perpetuating cycle.
I want us to stop this cycle. I want to use shadow work to get into the nitty-gritty of why we procrastinate.
I believe most of us paint the brown leaves green when we look at why we procrastinate by treating the symptoms, but we don't get into the roots of it. Why do we procrastinate? It isn't because we are lazy, or stupid, or whatever else we might tell ourselves. It is because there is something we should be dealing with, but we aren't.
What is it exactly?
This course will help you figure that out. I am hoping through the mix of video lectures, worksheets, and quizzes, you will be able to get ahead of the curve with procrastination. So that the next time it comes at you, you will be able to use that opportunity to collect data on yourself, and kill procrastination in its tracks.
We all have so many gifts that we aren't utilizing because we spend so much of our time procrastinating. Let's stop doing that to ourselves. Our gifts are way too precious for us to do that. The world needs our gifts.
The cruel fact of being a human is that every one of us procrastinates. Not even a single person on this planet is safe from this cruel fate. Everyone procrastinates.
Doesn't this make you feel better? It is just a fact of life, and if it is something that is universal, it can be worked upon. It isn't something that is linked into our DNA, something that we have to live with, like our eye colour, or height.
Procrastination can be worked upon, and in this course, I teach you how to do that.
But first, I have to share my own story.
Okay, so why do I procrastinate and how? I procrastinate when I feel frustrated and impatient that things aren't happening fast enough. So instead of working on the process of my projects, I get distracted by the future. I start dreaming about the future when I will have reached my goals, and when it seems just so far away, I start procrastinating. It seems to be an easier use of my time at that point, because I'm in the what's-the-point mode.
I procrastinate using two techniques. I watch Korean soap operas, which fulfills my desire of being loved, desired, and accepted. And, I roam around on social media - Facebook news feeds, and Instagram, being my choice of weaponry.
Using the shadow work that I speak about in this course, I have gotten more aware of when I feel like procrastinating, and I have been able to reduce the incidents quite drastically.
I hope this course helps you do the same.
Life is about connection and connecting, feeling a part of the whole and a process of re-connection, but we distract ourselves from that connection with ourself and the unique perspective we have and the gift we have to offer because to go there we have to open ourselves up to vulnerability/shadow, etc.
When we cant hold that space within ourself because its too scary, we find other things to do to distract ourselves.
Procrastination is a fear of connection and intimacy with ourselves, the deepest parts of ourselves.
The parts of ourselves that we dislike, or even hate. Those parts are relegated to the deep, dark shadows, so that we don't have to deal with them on a daily basis. Not knowing that by pushing them into the shadows, they come up, popping up like a balloon pushed down into the water, bouncing up with such force that it can completely disrupt our lives.
My course is all about dealing with those shadows, so we can deal with procrastination in the right manner. I want you to connect with your shadows, so they don't pop your focus bubble, causing you to procrastinate.
A lot of my friends tell me that they believe Procrastination is a disease they have, and it's something they cannot get over, because it is a part of their personality, a permanent part.
Whatever you believe, persists. Whatever you resist, grows bigger.
Procrastination isn't a disease. It isn't something permanent. It is fixable, and easily so. All you need to do is face your shadows. For some of the shadow workers, healers, and light workers, this is easy work. They do it on a daily basis.
For most of the rest of us, it is hard, so hard, that we would rather have a unfulfilled life due to procrastination, rather than deal with it.
I hope after this course, you will start thinking differently about procrastination's permanency.
I believe that the things we distract ourselves, reflects the shadows in us, the parts of ourselves that we don't like, or hate, or have buried deep within, to avoid forever.
We do not procrastinate because we are lazy. Most of us want to accomplish great things with our lives, but we fall into the same old patterns of procrastination over and over again.
Until we deal with that shadow within ourselves, we will never get over procrastination. It isn't just a matter of being stronger than our urges. The urges are subconscious. They are deeper than we can ever get to, just through willpower.
So we need to figure out our shadows. We need to figure out what feelings we are trying to bury, when we are procrastinating. What is the situation we are trying to avoid? What part of ourselves are we trying to run away from?
Once, we face our shadows, the procrastinating aspect of ourselves will naturally fall away.
But if we don't go deep enough to our shadows, it will keep on showing up over and over again. The never-ending cycle of procrastination, and shame will continue until we die.
It's linked to the inability to spend time with yourself and connect with areas within the self that bring up vulnerability, sadness, shame etc.
Procrastination is a way to shine a mirror on the areas we need to work on too.
For example, I have a big disconnect with my feminine side, because she was always ostracized by everyone in my life when I was younger. Being a sensitive, and highly intuitive person was frowned upon, both qualities that my feminine side embodies. I wanted to be loved by my family, so I kicked my feminine side to the shadows. Now whenever she pops up, I procrastinate. I don't want to deal with her. I don't want to see her. I ignore her. My procrastination habit is giving me a sign and signal to something bigger than myself. I can either take the sign and use it to become bigger and grow, or I can stagnate, and shy away from the message.
Another example, is when I used to be obsessed with sex, and porn. It was because I needed to connect with my self-image, shame, and love my body. But instead of integrating that side of myself, and becoming whole, I procrastinate.
Once, I can integrate my shadows, and become whole, that procrastination will dissipate.
Most people on this planet have no idea how to be alone with themselves. We distract ourselves with music, television dramas and shows, Netflix, unnecessary drama, travel, work, and so much more. Instead of being with ourselves wholly, even with the parts of ourselves we don't like, we shy away from it.
I believe that is one of the main reasons people procrastinate. It is easier to find a million other things to do, than be with ourselves, and create by doing work on the project that contains our unique gift.
I do this exercise with lots of people who tell me that they procrastinate and they don't know why. They feel like it is a sort of compulsion that pulls them away from themselves, and causes them to take actions without even knowing they are taking them.
First of all, sit down in a quiet place in a meditative posture. It doesn't need to be cross-legged, but it needs to be relaxed.
Once you feel relaxed and in your body, through some breathing techniques, or other mindfulness techniques, ask yourself the following questions.
What do I feel when I procrastinate? Why do I procrastinate? What am I running away from when I procrastinate, besides the work? What happens in my body, and mind when I procrastinate, both before, during, and after?
Think about the last time you procrastinated, perhaps quite recently and try to analyze the situation in this lens. Ask the questions, and answer them.
Or if you can't remember, wait for a procrastination episode to creep up on you, and then go through the process of asking superior questions as the ones above.
Instead of lamenting about how terrible you are, or how lazy you are, use the questions above to gain insights.
Of course, procrastination causes us to lose precious time that we will never get back again, or prevents us from working on our projects.
But another much more terrible side of procrastination is that when we procrastinate we block our gift (and the giving of it). We block our unique perspective.
It is ultimately a withholding of our gift. Our uniqueness.
The world deserves us in our wholeness, and fullness. Procrastination prevents that by giving us permission to only present certain liked parts of ourselves to the world. If we want to truly be alive, we need all of ourselves.
The good and bad all go together. Our shadows and gifts are so intertwined together that it is impossible to kill one part of ourselves, without dismantling the other. So when we bury our shadows, we bury our creativity and gifts as well.
All of us, the good and bad, makes up the whole.
The light and the dark always go together. We cannot have one without the other. This is such an important learning that I want to reiterate it over and over again.
It's absolutely crucial for us to maintain this learning in the face of all the different mixed signals that come at us, telling us that one thing is bad, and another is good. If we cannot have one without the other, in reality, everything is good.
It is quite interesting to me that everything always comes down to love. More and more love. Everything is all about love.
Dealing with our shadows is about love as well. We have to learn to love all parts of ourselves, all the good and the bad. Once we are able to integrate ourselves in such a manner, we can reduce procrastination.
The great thing about being human is that we are forever and always improving, and growing. We are never going to achieve perfection, and we are always going to have parts of ourselves that we dislike and become shadows. We can never eliminate all of our shadows. It is impossible. New ones are always popping up, as we are alive and living in this world.
So we can never eliminate procrastination completely either.
I now use procrastination as a sign post or a valuable messenger from my subconscious.
My subconscious has so many gifts within it, but it doesn't speak to me in a normal manner. It doesn't pipe up and tell me what's wrong.
It causes me to procrastinate, and I have to be aware enough to be able to use that as a message from my shadows, and subconscious.
Without this awareness, I wouldn't get the valuable lesson, and I would be ignoring a major part of myself.
This quiz is based on Section 1. Let's see how much information you've retained. Think of all of it as data collected on yourself. No harsh words. Just kindness.
The brilliant discovery I had with my own procrastination and through conversations with others, is that people procrastinate differently, because they have different shadows that they are running away from.
That's good news, because we can figure out what shadows we are dealing with based on our procrastination styles, and tendencies. This means, we can work on them differently, depending on the different shadows.
I'll speak more about the four typical ways people procrastinate in the next four lectures.
See if you fit into any of these buckets, or perhaps, all four.
If we are using sex, masturbation, or porn to procrastinate, then I have found it to be a sign of loneliness, lack of self-love, or the need for human connection.
Now, every person looks at these items differently. So for some people they watch porn, because they want to feel a connection to that masculine or feminine side of themselves. Or they masturbate as a procrastination tool, because they are feeling unworthy and they want to feel connected to that deeper side of themselves.
The point is to poke at the roots, rather than focus on the branches or the leaves.
When we use shopping or consumeristic tendencies to procrastinate, I believe it has to do with the shadow of grounding, and self-care. When we are feeling ungrounded, disconnected, or the need for some self-care, consumerism comes in a procrastination technique.
When I go onto shopping websites online, instead of doing the work that I need to do, I am trying to feel connected to myself again. Perhaps, to feel desired, or loved, or beautiful. But also, to feel a sense of grounding.
Again, different people feel things differently. So figure out what your consumeristic tendencies are trying to tell you.
This one is a great one, because we feel like we are being productive in a way, but what we are really doing is distracting ourselves from doing our real work. No matter how much we read about doing work, or about how to do our work, it doesn't actually help us with the actual doing of the work.
That matters the most.
Doing the work. Reading books on it won't help. Or watching documentaries about it. It's not research. It's a waste of our precious work time.
This is another misconception. We think because we are working really hard physically or on our business, we are doing work. But a lot of our time is spent on busy work. Busy work that doesn't really result in anything.
Spending all day checking email isn't actually helping you do your work. Or clicking refresh on your Facebook feed again isn't helping your business.
What are you avoiding? What is the work that you need to be focusing on that you aren't?
We do so many things instead of doing our work. We will spend hours and hours procrastinating instead of actually doing.
But if we could just spend sometime going deep within ourselves, to see what we are all about, and what beautiful parts of ourselves are we trying to avoid.
Which unique gift are you trying to hide from? What is it? Ask yourselves the questions, and answer the tough questions. It is what will push you forward.
Going deep is the only way. Superficiality won't cut it anymore.
I think of everything that's coming at me as data. We are all data scientists collecting as much data as possible on ourselves. Why do we do things the way we do them? Sometimes a lot of the stuff we do is so automatic, that we can't even figure out why we started doing them in the first place, and what purpose do they serve.
Use the way you procrastinate as a sign post into yourselves. Who are you? Why do you procrastinate this way? Why this way and not another? What about this way soothes your soul?
All of it is data that can help us improve and get to that peak performance state that we all desire.
I think of this has a Yin Yang symbol. Each part of the symbol intertwines into the other part, and there cannot be one without the other. One completes the other, and vice versa.
The light and the dark are exactly the same. They go together. You cannot have only light all the time, and you cannot be in the dark all the time.
The dark reveals the light, and the light does the same for the dark.
When we feel that procrastination is just too much darkness, we have to remember that there is light within it. It's showing us the light, by pointing the way to the parts missing within ourselves.
It is so easy to berate ourselves and put ourselves down when we procrastinate. So easy to call ourselves name, and tell ourselves we are stupid, or lazy, or good-for-nothings.
How about we treat ourselves with kindness and gentleness? In every situation, we have two options. We can either deal with ourselves through insults, or through kindness.
We need to stop being harsh with ourselves. It's all data. It's nothing bad. We don't need to put ourselves down, because without this data from our procrastinating selves, we wouldn't be able to move forward. This is precious data.
We should be thanking our procrastinating selves.
This quiz is related to Section 2. Again, let's see how much you remember, and no harshness if you forgot something. It's all data.
My heart fills with gratitude. I'm so thankful you took the course, and you made it all the way to the end.
I'm always looking forward to hearing from people who share in my courses with me. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on Udemy itself.
I also provide 1-on-1 coaching by application only on www.boomshikha.live.
Boom Shikha is a serial entrepreneur, wanderluster, online-business owner, yogi, author, and avid meditator.
She is the owner of the epic brand 'The Millionaire Hippie' and she runs a podcast with the same name.
She has an MBA and a B.Sc. in Kinesiology. She has read hundreds of books and is a self-taught teacher. She wants to share all of the knowledge that she has gained in her decades of learning and growing, and that's why she creates these Udemy courses, to spread the joy of learning.
A lot of her topics are obscure and are topics that she has spent time thinking and researching on. She loves learning more about how the human mind works, specifically her own. Why do I do things the way I do them? Why do I end up liking things the way I do? Why am I creative in some moments and not in others? Why does it sometimes take me forever to start my creative projects?
There are so many questions that she had that she answered by learning more about her own psychology.
Meditation, and Journaling are two techniques she uses on a daily basis in order to grow her mind and get to her optimal self.
She is also a published author, with 5 books and counting published on Amazon. Links are all available on her website.