Buying for a Team? Gift This Course
Wishlisted Wishlist

Please confirm that you want to add Master Your Emotions and Revolutionise Your Social Skills to your Wishlist.

Add to Wishlist

Master Your Emotions and Revolutionise Your Social Skills

Build Strong Communication Skills, High-Impact Social Skills, Build Your Social Confidence & Transform Your Self Esteem
4.1 (103 ratings)
Instead of using a simple lifetime average, Udemy calculates a course's star rating by considering a number of different factors such as the number of ratings, the age of ratings, and the likelihood of fraudulent ratings.
4,127 students enrolled
Created by Kain Ramsay
Last updated 11/2016
$10 $145 93% off
4 days left at this price!
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
  • 6.5 hours on-demand video
  • 1 Article
  • 70 Supplemental Resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
Have a coupon?

Deep down, most people know that there's always room for improvement in their social life. All of us are prone to having momentary bouts of shyness, and we all experience those awkward moments when engaging conversationally with others. 

Perhaps you know that you don’t need another 500 Facebook friends, but it would be nice if you had a few more people to hang out with on the evenings and weekends. The good news is that it’s never too late to start making improvements in your Social Skills and this course stands to become your greatest social ally.

'Master Your Emotions & Revolutionise Your Social Skills' offers you game-changing insights into your interpersonal struggles, while providing hands-on advice for developing and maximising your people skills.

This Complete Social Skills Blueprint Will Show You How It's Possible To:

  • Develop Impressive Social Confidence & Genuine Self Esteem.
  • Eliminate Social Apprehension or Any Fear of Social Rejection.
  • Engage in Meaningful Conversation With Anyone That You Meet.
  • Break Down Mental Barriers You Have of Shyness or Social Anxiety.
  • Achieve Robust Social Confidence Without Losing Yourself In The Process.
  • Take Full Control of Your Emotions & Revolutionise Your Social People Skills.
  • Eliminate Any 'Approval Seeking' Behaviour From Every Area In Your Life.
  • Improve Your Conversation Skills & Learn How to Make New Friends.

With practice, patience, persistence and perseverance, this ground breaking course will give you all the understanding you need for developing the exciting kind of social life that you hope for. You'll understand how to achieve authentic social success while remaining true to your personality and character.

You'll quickly learn to overcome the internal issues that belittle your social confidence, and realise the power you have to determine your social behaviour in every situation and circumstance.

By the end of the course you will have discovered revolutionary social success secrets for unlocking unlimited social confidence in every area of your life; to develop more impressive communication skills, transform your social confidence and make a far greater impact in the quality your personal and professional relationships.

Partnered with a Full Money Back Guarantee, if you're less that fully satisfied, you can get a full refund within 30 days of purchasing this course.

Who is the target audience?
  • ENTREPRENEURS: Those who are committed to building a social presence without sacrificing their emotional health, values and relationships.
  • SELF-GROWTH ADDICTS: Those who have had enough of anxiety and are committed to mastering themselves, both mentally and emotionally.
  • INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS: Those who are no longer willing to be defined by a social label or behavioural preference.​
  • STUDENTS: Graduates and young professionals who want to develop strong social skills before making their mark in the world.
  • HELPING SPECIALISTS: This course can be used as a practical tool for helping professionals, such as therapists, counsellors, psychologists, teachers, and social group leaders.
  • ANYONE: Men and women who need a perspective of what's important, to master their emotions and revolutionise their social skills.
Students Who Viewed This Course Also Viewed
What Will I Learn?
Develop Impressive Social Confidence & Self Esteem.
Eliminate Social Anxiety & Your Fear of Social Rejection.
Initiate a Meaningful Conversation With 'Virtually' Anyone.
Break Down The Mental Barriers of Shyness & Social Anxiety.
Achieve Social Confidence Without Losing Yourself In The Process.
Take Full Control of Your Emotions & Transform Your Social Skills.
Eliminate Approval Seeking Behaviour From Every Area In Your Life.
Improve Your Conversation Skills & Learn How to Make New Friends.
View Curriculum
  • Students are encouraged to enrol without preconceived expectations of the course content. Many lectures are based on truth, real life experience, and may seem confrontational to those of a more timid nature.
  • All 57 lectures are in MP4 Video format and are accompanied with a downloadable MP3 version. Althouth the MP3's cover all of the course content, there are many illustrations which can only be fully appreciated by watching the videos.
  • Although it is not a necessary requirement that you take notes in this course, it will be useful for you to have a notebook or pen and parer at hand to note down your main learnings.
  • This course is delivered in an approachable style which provides practical solutions to a range of universal problems.
Curriculum For This Course
Expand All 63 Lectures Collapse All 63 Lectures 06:52:27
Introduction: Master Your Emotions & Revolutionise Your Social Skills
5 Lectures 23:49

Welcome to the course and thank you for joining me on this journey!

Throughout this course I aim to help you discover how to fully master your emotions by taking complete charge of your thoughts and responses to the events and circumstances of your life.

Some of the lessons we cover may feel challenging - and many of them may contradict your current beliefs of way of thinking. But if you can 'go with it' and are willing to be patient enough to carefully study the lessons and principles I share throughout the course, you will become able to Master Your Emotions & completely transform the way in which you interact with others.

Preview 03:19

In this video I'll share a true story that I hope will resonate with you.

A man fell into a hole and didn’t know how to get out. He really needed some help!

A doctor walked by and the man yelled up, “Can you help me? I can’t get out!”

The doctor wrote the guy down the hole a prescription, threw it down into the hole, and walked away.

A priest walked by, and the man yelled up, “Help! I’ve fallen into a hole, and can’t get out." The priest wrote a prayer on a piece of paper, threw it down to the man, and walked on.

Soon the man’s friend walked by. “Hey, friend! I’ve fallen into this hole and can’t get out. Can you help me?”

The friend said, “Sure” and jumped into the hole with his friend.

The man said, “Are you crazy? Now we’re both stuck in this hole!”

But his friend said, “No, see, I’ve been in this hole before, and I know how to get out.”

That’s the power of learning from people who have been there before and this is the platform that this course aims to offer you throughout this course.

A Story That Might Resonate?

Here, I'll give you a quick orientation of the course and also introduce you to the downloadable Learning Log Workbook that's attached to this lecture.

Course Orientation & Learning Logbook

Communication is the key to unlocking our intimate, social and professional relationships.

How we communicate with other people shows them exactly what's going inside of our hearts and minds. The way in which we communicate has the potential to build our relationships up or tear them down. Either way, we have the final say in this.

While no-one wakes up in the morning with a burning desire to offend, upset or hurt other people, even our greatest intentions aren't robust enough to prevent this from happening.

When conversing and interacting with others, it can be easy to say things that we don't mean, and equally easy to not say the things that we do mean. The main reason for this is because we're all imperfect humans and at the same time, we're equally imperfect communicators.

For this reason, I’ve put together this short 'how to' guide to help you navigate your way through unhelpful communication, towards initiating healthier and more meaningful patterns of communication with the most important people in your life.

Whether you want to make practical improvements in your relationships, or, you just want to sharpen up your day-to-day interactions with peers, my aim here is to share a few actionable ideas that you can build into your life immediately.

The purpose of this short book is to help you avoid unnecessary communication pitfalls, and build a richer quality of relationship with the people who are already in your life.

Relationships are the network of life, and the overall quality of our life will be determined by the quality of relationships that we keep. The quality of our relationships is determined by the quality and maturity of our communications, and this is an area that all of us can continuously improve in.

This book is not perfect; I am not an excellent author, and this book does not cover everything that there is to know communications. It is a menu, to help you become more comfortable communicating with more transparency, honesty and humility.

I hope you find my explanations in this course eBook helpful.

Conversation Hacking (Downloadable eBook)

Confidence is a natural feeling of trust in someone or something.

This core life-skill gives you the boost you need to go forth, and live your life in an exploratory way. Instead of a dreading and withholding yourself 'kind of way'. We often fail to believe in ourselves and even in those around us.

We lack confidence in our abilities and that of our environment to support us and to help us thrive. Because of that, many of us go through life dreading the consequence of every small thing that changes around us. How would it be if we could feel more unshakable no matter what went on around us?

Here are six different life factors that people can build and base their confidence upon. In this lecture I'll explain what these factors are.

Understanding Different Categories of People

Communication is the key to developing social skills, but when communication breaks down, social ineptitude takes on a life of its own.

As children, we were taught that it's not OK to blurt out derogatory names just because someone has upset us; we're not supposed to throw tamper tantrums when we can't have what we want; sharing is smiled upon; pushing and shoving are not.

Find out just how many of those early lessons have stayed with you and how socially savvy you still are with this social skills quiz.

Test Your Social Skills IQ
7 questions
Steps Towards Emotional Intelligence
8 Lectures 58:01

While many people would suggest that there are 1000's of different emotion states that we can find ourselves in (which is true), there are 4 main categories which every single one of them will fall into:

  1. Anger
  2. Fear
  3. Happiness
  4. Sadness

We'll be exploring each one of these emotions at various stages throughout the course.

The 4 Main Categories of Emotion

Human beings possess a unique ability to engage in emotional time travel by mentally fast forwarding through time to envision how they will feel in future situations.

Emotional time travel isn't without its pitfalls, though! At the most obvious level, people may make inaccurate predictions about how they will feel in a situation because the situation unfolds differently than they expect.

Even if the situation people experience goes on to match the situation they imagined, people face a different psychological situation when they experience an event than when they imagine it. When people fail to understand this in life, they can end up living life on a highly strung 'emotional rollercoaster'.

Understanding our Need for Emotional Awareness

The purpose of this exercise is to expand your ability to identify and name emotions.

A good emotional “vocabulary” and steady self-reflection will help us become more conscious of our emotions, as we definitely can’t manage emotions we are not aware of!

Building Emotional Self Awareness (Workbook)
6 pages

Finding the roots of our emotional issues can be a challenging task to say the least!

You want to get at the root of your own emotions so that you can be the one who figures out solutions that address your real, deepest emotions.

How we feel on a daily, weekly or an annual basis will be determined by whether or not we are getting the things that we ultimately want. Although this may seem overly simplistic, in this lesson I'll demonstrate how this is true.

Preview 05:13

Human beings possess a unique ability to engage in emotional time travel by mentally fast forwarding through time to envision how they will feel in future situations.

Emotional time travel isn't without its pitfalls though! At the most obvious level, people may make inaccurate predictions about how they will feel in a situation because the situation unfolds differently than they expect.

Yet, even if the situation people experience goes on to match the situation they imagined, people face a different psychological situation when they experience an event than when they imagine it. When people fail to understand this in life, they can end up living life on a highly strung 'emotional rollercoaster'.

Here, I aim to help you understand how your basic human needs and your emotions are intrinsically linked.

Understanding Our Primary Emotions

Self-control is the ability to control impulses and reactions, and is another name for self-discipline.

It is not some kind of negative and limiting behaviour, as some people might think. When self-control is used wisely and with common sense, it becomes one of the most important tools for self improvement and for achieving success.

Self control is vital for overcoming obsessions, fears, addictions, and any kind of unsuitable behaviour. It puts you in control of your life, your behaviour, and your reactions. It improves your relationships, develops patience and tolerance, and is an important tool for attaining success and happiness in life.

How Self Control must be our Ultimate Goal!

Understanding ourselves and developing our emotional intelligence will vastly improve our social relationships and deepen our sense of fulfilment and professional accomplishment.

Did I mention that all emotional problems have a relational element to them?

In this video, I'll explain more!

The Road To Emotional Enlightenment

Selfish people take. Selfless people give.

Selfish people make life harder for others, while selfless people make life more pleasurable for those around them. This is how many of us distinguish between “selfish” and “selfless,” and most people would rather be perceived as the latter.

In order to positive impact how we're perceived socially, guess how we have to become?

Understanding Personal Agenda
A Focus on Social Relationships
10 Lectures 01:29:06

It's possible to be both selfish and selfless - but never at the same time!

No one is an entirely selfish person, just like no one is an entirely selfless person; we’re all somewhere in between. We may be selfish in some areas, yet almost completely selfless in others.

When it comes to everyday life, complete selflessness is a death wish and many selfish people will do there best to gain advantage of you until there is not much more to take advantage of.

Of course, it’s good to contribute socially, to teach others by example, but we have no choice but to remain selfish in order to do this effectively.

Please ... allow me to explain:

Why There's Definitely No 'I' in Team!

There's no two ways about it; we have all experienced what it feels like to be disappointed. We’ve all been disappointed at times: in ourselves, in others, in outcomes, the weather, work and just about anything else we can think of!

In reality, feeling disappointed has nothing to do with other people, places, or circumstances. The fact is, being disappointed doesn’t actually originate with external sources, even though it might feel like it sometimes.

We get disappointed when things fail to live up to our expectations. We don’t go to Scotland for Glorious sunshine or visit Australia to bask in the rain, and we don’t spend tens of 1000's of £££'s on a new car so we can have mechanical problems. We tend to attach expectation to almost everything in life and this means there is a distinct possibility that we could end up being disappointed.

The Role of Expectation: (Don't expect a £100K a year salary or to be eating Fillet Steak & Chips every night when you're a full time student - manage your expectations and be OK with settling for homemade pumpkin soup for now - the rest will come later when you begin applying your new knowledge)

Giving up on expectation so we won’t be disappointed is not really a viable option. Much of our excitement and enthusiasm in life comes from eager expectation. We look forward to things when we anticipate a desirable outcome. In fact, often times that excitement makes up a large percentage of the joy we experience.

Expectation can also work the other way. If we are anticipating a painful outcome we don’t call it excitement, do we? No, we call it anxiety. In the case of a negative expectation (anxiety), then we are glad when things don’t turn out the way we expected. We feel relieved instead of disappointed.

Preview 09:19

In this video we'll explore how many people want everything that they want RIGHT NOW!

When it comes to relationships, unfortunately this approach to life will never work ... for long! Healthy relationships are developed over time and throughout a number of stages.

Understand these stages and see if they make sense in your own relationships. Where it works for you, facilitate the relationship forward to the point where you want it go go.

The Levels & Stages of Relationships

Developing a more social perspective towards life will help you grasp a better understanding about what other people think about you.

Developing social awareness involves learning about the dynamics of your social relationships. People who are socially aware will generally be able to build and nurture more rewarding and fulfilling relationships.

Understanding other people's feelings is central to emotional intelligence. Get this wrong and you'll be seen as uncaring and insensitive. Getting it right is essential for becoming more socially successful!

Developing A More Social Perspective

Too many people give in to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from naturally unteachable traits that only belong to a few lucky people - the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented.

It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likeable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

In a recent American study, subjects rated over 500 adjectives based on their perceived relevance to like-ability. The top-rated adjectives had nothing to do with being talented, intelligent, or even physically attractive. Instead, the top adjectives were sincerity, transparency and authenticity (genuineness).

These adjectives, and others like them, describe people who are skilled in the social side of emotional intelligence. Research data from more than a million people shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likeable, they outperform those who don’t by a large margin.

So ... I did some digging to uncover the key and most crucial behaviours that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them so likeable to others.

Here are 12 of the best that i've found:

eBook: The 12 Habits of Highly Likeable People
6 pages

Do you sometimes leave a conversation feeling energised, and other times you feel drained? Are you aware of the difference between people who have a giving energy and those who have a taking energy?

The definition of needy is someone who is poor, or someone who demands a lot of care or attention. A person in a state of poverty who needs help getting food and finding a place to live is an example of someone who is needy.

It's important in our relationships to be aware of our own energy, and it's equally important to be aware of others' energy. If you often leave a conversation feeling drained, then you need to learn to be aware of how needy people can drain the life right out of you - and also, how not to get drained!

Understand the 'Needy' Approach to Life

With age comes wisdom. Or so they say ...

It’s an essential notion that as we mature, we learn more about life. Over the years, I’ve learned that there are certain ways to live your life that nurture fulfilment, and other ways that just bring about stress.

Someone told me, “Life is good if you know how to live it.” It was that simple statement, that obvious truth, that changed the way I saw everything in my life. I suddenly realised that I don’t have to hold myself to a certain standard of what people consider 'the norm.'

You don’t need to live your life following the ideal notions of how other people want you to be. It's totally OK to just be yourself. It took a long time to figure out, but the secret to a stress-free life can be found in not allowing yourself to be concerned about other people's irrelevant opinions.

How many of your thoughts centre themselves around the thoughts and opinions of others? The weight of others can become such a burden. It inhibits you from living a focussed and balanced life.

We wonder about a million things every day that we shouldn’t have to think about. How am I perceived? What do they think about me? How does my life look to others? It’s a constant array of worries and self-doubt that torments us day in and day out. Now, imagine how free you’d be if you let go of all those thoughts. Imagine if you just stopped caring.

You can make a conscious effort to stop caring; to let yourself free. It’s a skill that needs to be practiced, like meditating. But once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world as entirely different.

Once you give up catering to the preferences of other people, you will begin to get established in who you are, and this freedom is like taking a breath of fresh air for the very first time.

Understanding Human Dependancy

It is a universal truth that nothing begins in its completed, final state.

Every living being reaches maturity through a process of growth and development. Even the most mature human beings, started life as single fertilised cells that to develop to adulthood in a process that takes many years.

What are the principles that govern growth? What is the relationship between physical and character growth? The story in this lesson will examine these issues.

Things We Can Learn from A Tree

Every day, we learn new lessons about ourselves and grow into higher states of personal awareness.

Although personal growth is a good thing, it will often interrupt the consistency of our everyday relationships with other people that we know. One of the core reasons why many relationships fall apart, is due to when one of the partners in a relationship begins to mature and grow at a faster and more prominent rate than the other.

This is true for families and friendships as well.

Going on a journey of self discovery will often be a hugely exciting and fulfilling journey ... however, this can often come at the cost of some of our 'less healthy' relationships.

How Personal Growth Affects Relationships

We all have unique standards and expectations in our relationships.

Would you enter into a relationship with someone you knew was addicted to alcohol and with a track record of stealing from people?

We all have limits, a threshold for the behaviours, personality traits, and attitudes that we are unwilling to tolerate in other people. Unfortunately, many people don't always identify their preferences before entering a relationship, and sadly, accept sub-standard treatment and unfulfilling relationships rather than insist that their needs be met.

A Standard For Future friendships
The 4 Main Choices for Emotional Intelligence
8 Lectures 36:08

Self-awareness is really just about being aware of who we are. It can relate to knowing your own values, your beliefs, personal preferences and tendencies.

Because we are all different in the way we react to things, it can be really helpful to start thinking about how we work best, including things like:

  • how we learn best
  • our talents and abilities
  • personality traits
  • political beliefs
  • values

You know how famous people will always say things like: “Stay true to yourself”?

Well, this is actually really important advice, but it’s not easy to stay true to yourself if you don’t know who you are. By becoming self-aware and understanding your strengths and limitations, you open up opportunities that just aren’t available if you don’t know yourself.

You’re also able to have more honest and genuine relationships because the people that you’re attracted to will be attracted to you for who you actually are.

Developing Self Awareness

This workbook explains the idea's of the reasonable, the emotional, and the wise minds. These three states of mind are used to describe a person's thoughts and consequential behaviours.

The reasonable mind is driven by logic, the emotional mind is driven by feelings, and wise mind is a middle-ground between the two.

The Three States of Mind (Workbook)
2 pages

Understanding other people's feelings is central to emotional intelligence. Get this wrong and you'll be seen as uncaring and insensitive. Getting it right is essential for success!

Essentially, awareness of social situations is about carefully considering what people want, and planning to communicate with them in a way that is intended to meet that need.

Is this the same as manipulation? Some people might say so, however, many of today's great leaders and public speakers are skilled in this ability and it helps them build rapport with their followers.

Social awareness isn't intended to be as calculated as manipulation. At best being socially aware should be a natural response to people, taking their situation and needs into account as much as possible.

Developing Social Awareness

When it comes to self-control, it is so easy to focus on our failures that our successes tend to pale in comparison. And why shouldn’t they?

Self-control is an effort that’s intended to help achieve a goal. Failing to control yourself is just that—a failure.

If you’re trying to avoid eating that bag of chips after dinner because you want to lose a few pounds and you succeed Monday and Tuesday, only to succumb to temptation on Wednesday, your failure outweighs your success. You’ve taken two steps forward and four steps back!

Self control is paramount to keep you headed in the right direction for achieving your future goals and ambitions.

Developing Self Control

Our self-esteem, contentment and capacity to flourish are influenced significantly by our relationships with family, friends or partners.

Healthy relationships can provide us with support, affection, excitement and love. However, when relationships go wrong, they can be a source of distress and sorrow.

Human relationships are infinitely complex and problems can manifest from many different sources. It can be helpful to take time to explore and unpick the mixture of these influences.

Relationship Management

There are four very distinct types of social experience which can be used as a frame for reflecting upon the things you are to do more of in life, and the things you should really be doing less of:

1) There are things you can do which are GOOD for you & GOOD for other people

2)There are things you can do which are GOOD for you but are BAD for other people

3)There are things you can do which are BAD for you but are GOOD for other people

4)There are things you can do which are BAD for you & are also BAD for other people

Understanding the difference between these 4 can be the difference that makes a difference in the context of your social interactions.

The 4 Classes of Social Experience

Who says rejection always has to be painful?

In the past, you may have previously been so concerned with avoiding rejection that it never occurred to you it can sometimes be a good thing.

Maybe you approached a girl (or a guy) and she (or he) didn’t give you her number. What if she would have been terrible for you and you saved yourself a lot of trouble by not talking to her again?

Maybe you applied for a job and didn’t get it. What if you would have hated that job, or would have been selling your life away?

As you can see, the idea of rejection is not as clear cut as you may have thought.

Here’s a novel idea: stop looking at everything as success versus failure, or acceptance versus rejection. Instead, see every situation as an opportunity to see what happens and get some feedback about the world.

You’ll always get some feedback, which if you're willing to learn from, means that you can’t possibly get rejected for the same thing again in the future!

Why Rejection Isn't Always A Bad Thing!

Grab some loose pocket change, get yourself to Starbucks, grab yourself a nice Latte (or even a cappuccino) ... EMBRACE the CHALLENGE and 'get involved' in the first practical exercise of the course.

EXERCISE 1: People Watching (& Coffee)
How To Neutralise Inconsistent Emotions
5 Lectures 41:24

In our personal lives, authenticity is a drive for more committed relationships. Who exactly am I dealing with? Who are you when you show up?

If I know, like and trust you then it's less work to guess who you are. It is authenticity that allows us to get past transactional relationships and into deeper relationships.

Authenticity starts with trust and the willingness to be vulnerable. In being vulnerable, there are three traits that most people look for:

1) Are you benevolent? Do you put the needs of those your serve above your own? It's important that those you work with and care about know that you back them up and have their best interests at heart.

2) Do you have competence? Those around you must trust that you know what you're doing.

3) Do you have integrity? We look for those who have high moral values, are honest and display high ethical standards. Those around you look to see if you share a set of values and live those values. Value alignment is important when it comes to integrity. High ethical standards require honesty and transparency.

Do you authentically have my back or do you put your needs in front of my own? (Or do you just say that you do and not back it up with your actions?)

People can tell the difference. The words must match the actions, competence and expertise.

The Art of Getting Authentic

In life, we go through different seasons where we 'feel like we need' different things.

Values are the foundations that drive most, if not all, of our decisions whether in business or in life. They influence our relationships, our customer service, our leadership style….Everything!

They also change over time so it can be extremely useful to re-evaluate our own values from time to time to see how things may have changed for us and why. By having a good understanding of our values, we can gain tremendous insight, clarity and focus.

Furthermore, we can use those insights and clarity to make decisions about priorities and take action that are aligned with who we are currently…….. and, importantly, who we want to be in the future.

We have 6 core human needs: Security, Uncertainty, Self-Worth, Connection, Growth & Contribution.

We have a need for security until we feel secure, and then we need excitement, uncertainty and variety. We have a need to stand out and be seen as significant by others in order to feel valued, but we also have a need to blend in and be part of the crowd at times.

We have a need to grow and increase our value so that we are able to make our contribution in society, in the world by giving something significant back to others.

When we don't have these basic needs met, we'll never feel fully complete!

The Importance of Understanding Your Values

Authenticity is one of the highest-rated interpersonal skills, alongside integrity, sincerity & commitment.

Today we know that to be authentic is to be genuine, but the origin of the word ‘authentic’ dates back to the Greek word 'authtentes', which means “acting on one’s own authority”.

To be acting on one’s own authority, we need to know our genuine selves, including our values, morals and principles; what excites us; the boundaries we set around our behaviour; and how we allow the behaviour of others to affect us.

Discovering the answers to these essential questions allows us to further discover the true essence of who we are.

The Cost of Anything Less Than Authenticity

Have you ever thought about what emotions really are? What they're for; and even their purpose?

Emotions are bodily sensations that you feel, most often through the mid-line of your body, from below your navel to above your throat. They are responses from your feelings.

Values form part of our identity, and these are the set rules we form on how to meet our core needs. They are rules of engagement. Emotions are how the subconscious lets you know what is important to you.

We are not born with values; we develop them as we mature in life and grow to understand our priorities. We will always prioritise our more prominent values. The challenge we have with our emotions is that they will often be influenced when our values are or aren't being met.

Emotions are 'kind of like' the internal GPS we have that guides us closer to the things that are important to us, and further away from the things that aren't.

The Connection Between our Values & Emotions

Grab some MORE loose pocket change, get yourself BACK to Starbucks (or some other venue), grab yourself ANOTHER nice Latte (Mocha-chino or Cappuccino) ... and 'get involved' in this 2nd practical exercise of the course.

EXERCISE 2: People Approaching
Improve Your Communication Skills & Transform Your Social Skills
16 Lectures 01:22:42

The ability to communicate effectively with our family, friends, co-workers and business associates is one of the most critical social skills that anyone can master.

Communication is such a key factor in life and, it is up to each of us to learn to communicate well with those who are important to us - otherwise, we may never find ourselves being particularly socially effective.

Introducing Communication Techniques

Although there are numerous reasons for asking questions the information we receive back (the answer) will depend very much on the type of question we ask.

Questions, in their simplest form, can either be open or closed - this page covers both types but also details many other question types and when it may be appropriate to use them, in order to improve understanding.

Closed Questions

Closed questions invite a short focused answer. Answers to closed questions can often (but not always) be either right or wrong. Closed questions are usually easy to answer - as the choice of answer is limited - they can be effectively used early in conversations to encourage participation and can be very useful in fact-finding scenarios such as research.

Open Questions

By contrast, to closed questions, open questions allow for much longer responses and therefore potentially more creativity and information. There are lots of different types of open question; some are more closed than others!

Different Types of Questions

We can use clever questioning to essentially funnel the respondent’s answers – that is ask a series of questions that become more (or less) restrictive at each step, starting with open questions and ending with closed questions or vice-versa.

For example:

a) "Tell me about your most recent holiday."
b) "What did you see while you were there?"
c) "Were there any good restaurants?"
d) "Did you try some local delicacies?"
e) "Did you try the Clam Chowder?"

The questions in this example become more restrictive, starting with open questions which allow for very broad answers, at each step the questions become more focused and the answers become more restrictive.

Funnelling can work the other way around, starting with closed questions and working up to more open questions. For a counsellor or interrogator these funnelling techniques can be a very useful tactic to find out the maximum amount of information, by beginning with open questions and then working towards more closed questions.

In contrast, when meeting somebody new it is common to start by asking more closed questions and progressing to open questions as both parties relax.

Closed Interrogation Techniques

Reflecting back is a powerful tool that can be used to improve communications between two people almost instantaneously!

This worksheet includes an overview of how to use reflecting back (including tips and an example), followed by one page of practice statements. This communication worksheet will be helpful for anyone who wants to make instant improvements in their communicating.

Core Skills: Reflecting Back (Workbook)
3 pages

When a person responds to your words by saying “I hear you,” you may sometimes wonder if he is truly listening to you. Perhaps you find your mind wandering off when someone is sharing her thoughts with you.

Hearing and listening have quite different meanings. Hearing is a passive occurrence that requires no effort. Listening, on the other hand, is a conscious choice that demands your attention and concentration.

The Difference Between Listening & Hearing

Did you know that there are 4 levels to every communication or interaction with another person?

Those who don't understand these levels may find themselves falling into the frequent trap of debates, arguments and common misunderstandings - which will never compliment our degree of social impact.

The Levels & Stages of Communication

Winning hearts and minds is a concept occasionally expressed in the resolution of war, insurgency, and other conflicts, in which one side seeks to prevail not by the use of superior force, but by making emotional or intellectual appeals to sway supporters of the other side.

Both the British & American forces applied operation hearts and minds during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. The belief behind this operation was that 'If you can win over people's hearts, they will freely give you their minds'.

If we consider this 'hearts and minds' approach to communicating in the context of our relationships, you might be able to see that people do not always want to be engaged with on an intellectual level (their minds), but are often more receptive to being engaged with on an emotional level (hearts).

Preview 05:57

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Gustav Jung

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), meta-programs are the keys to the way you process information. They’re basically how you form your internal representations and direct your behaviour.

Knowing how people work helps to bridge gaps in our communications. It can also lead you to self-understanding and the better you know yourself, the better you can drive yourself.

The people types I will introduce you to in this video are:

  1. Toward or Away From People
  2. External or Internal Referencers
  3. Matcher or Mismatcher
  4. Global or Detailed Thinkers
  5. ProActive or ReActive

“When you really know somebody you can’t hate them. Or maybe it’s just that you can’t really know them until you stop hating them.” - Orson Scott Card

'More' Different Types of People

Probing Questions are intended to help people get to the bottom of any relationship issues that arise socially, personally or professionally.

If a probing question doesn't have that effect, it is either a clarifying question or a recommendation with an upward inflection at the end. Probing questions will help you get to the 'root' of things.

How to Get Better at 'Probing'

Chunking is a simple technique to use during questioning to vary the level of detail of information you get.

CHUNKING DOWN: Sometimes the person you are talking with is speaking at a very high level, covering general ideas and themes. Leaders often like to think this way, with grand plans and visions.

Sometimes you deliberately started this way, getting a big picture before you dive into detail.

Chunking down is getting more detail by probing for more information about the high-level information you already have. The goal is to find out more of the specific details that will allow you to fill in the empty gaps of your picture.

The more you ask chunking questions, the more you will find further detail. Keep going and you'll soon end up in the weeds. In fact if you go too deep, you can get lost. A tip: try to stay within three chunking levels for most of the time, digging deeper only on topics of particular interest where you want to bottom out the subject.

Chunk down by asking questions such as:

  • How did you that?
  • Why did that happen?
  • What happened about...?
  • What, specifically,...
  • Tell me more about...
  • What is the root cause of all this?

CHUNKING UP: Sometimes the person you are talking with is already stuck in the details. Some people (most IT Guru's for example) are happiest when they have their teeth sunk into the grit of a tangible problem. Yet it can help them hugely when they take time to step out of the details and look up to see the bigger picture.

To chunk up, you are doing the opposite of chunking down - looking for a more generalised understanding. This includes looking for overall purpose, meaning, linkages, etc.

Chunk up by asking questions such as:

  • What does this mean?
  • Let's look at the bigger picture...
  • How does that relate to...?
  • What are we trying to achieve here?
  • Who is this for? What do they really want?


You can use both methods together as a way of building a broad understanding. For example:

  • Start at a high level of chunking to define the initial problem.
  • Chunk down to find possible project goals.
  • Chunk up to review and agree the project.
  • Chunk down to build an understanding of the problem.
  • Chunk up to look for problems in the overall system.
  • Chunk down to find specific actions to address.

In this short video, I'll demonstrate the 'Art' of chunking up & down.

How to Ask More Engaging Questions

One of the most frustrating experiences I have had when interacting with others is when I receive feedback from someone who decides to use "softeners" instead of being direct in his or her communication.

These "softeners" come in the form of:

  • saying "we" when you really mean "I"
  • using words such as "kinda", "sort of", and "right"
  • being indirect in asking for something by saying "would you mind..."

These "softeners" often result in ambiguity and confusion about a person's intent. Effective communicators and influencers, on the other hand:

  • take ownership for their feedback by saying "I" believe," "I" think," and "I" feel
  • eliminate "kinda," "sort of," "right," and other softeners from their vocabulary
  • influence others to take action by saying "please do this" or by asking "will you please do this"

I'd strongly encourage you to practice these techniques at the end of section exercise!!

Conversation & Communication Softeners

When communicating with others, you might become aware of how much time people spend focussing on things that 'may or may not' happen.

People very commonly concern themselves with the worst possible outcomes that may come about in the context of their day to day situations and circumstances.

In this video i will share one question, which you can use to diffuse virtually any problem that people believe they might have in their futures ... for good!

Getting Clarity in our Communications

Assertiveness is a skill regularly referred to in social and communication skills training.

Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passively accepting ‘wrong’.

Assertive individuals are able to get their point across without upsetting others, or becoming upset themselves.

Although everyone acts in passive and aggressive ways from time to time, such ways of responding often result from a lack of self-confidence and are, therefore, inappropriate ways of interacting with others.

Are You Passive, Assertive or Aggressive?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed at the thought of various social situations?

Of course you have ... most likely, you'll often have too much on your plate, where deadlines are looming, and people are counting on you. You are under a lot of pressure—so much that at times, you suspect the quality of your whole life suffers for it.

The difference between those who are socially successful in life and those who aren't is a strategy that works!

How All Things Are Possible (Professional, Social & Relational)

Exercise 3: You've guessed it ... here's an opportunity for more coffee!!

EXERCISE 3: Practice Makes You Permanently Better!

Print and complete this self-coaching worksheet to make an immediate change in any area of your life.

There are no right or wrong answers. Tune in to your intuition. Trust what comes up. Even if you don’t understand it. Seek additional support from a good friend, partner or family member if required

Based upon what we've explored throughout the course until now, use this worksheet to make notes of your answers to the following questions:

Getting Social: Self Assessment Worksheet
3 pages
The 7 Steps for Transforming Your Social Interactions
8 Lectures 41:58

In this lecture, I'll discuss the first of the seven steps you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making tremendous progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

Most people don’t know the profound effects of making decisions. Often, we go through life oblivious to what thoughts we are thinking and what actions we are taking.

Every single decision we make in our days shapes our current reality. It shapes who we are as a person because we habitually follow through with the decisions we make without even realising it.

If you’re unhappy with the results in your life right now, making the effort to changing your decisions starting today will be the key to creating the person you want to be and the life you wish to have in the future.

In this lecture, I'll introduce you to the 7 Master Steps for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making huge progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

Introducing The 7 Master Steps

In this lecture, I'll discuss the first of the seven steps you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making tremendous progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

Most people don’t know the profound effects of making decisions. Often, we go through life oblivious to what thoughts we are thinking and what actions we are taking.

Every single decision we make in our days shapes our current reality. It shapes who we are as a person because we habitually follow through with the decisions we make without even realising it.

If you’re unhappy with the results in your life right now, making the effort to changing your decisions starting today will be the key to creating the person you want to be and the life you wish to have in the future.

STEP 1: Make a Committed Decision to Change

“Our real problem, then, is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

In this lecture, I'll discuss the second of the 7 steps you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making huge progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

STEP 2: Take Action (Do Something - Anything!)

When you are committed to life, everything is possible!

In war, in sports, in life, those without a commitment to victory and success often create their defeat. If we could see the meaning of "do or die" as does a soldier in battle, we would be victorious more often.

In this lecture, I'll discuss the third of the seven steps you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making tremendous progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

STEP 3: Commit To Something (Appropriate)

It is necessary… for a man to go away by himself.. to sit on a rock.. and ask, ‘Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?” - Carl Sandburg

Life is a direct product of our actions, beliefs and attitudes. We are directly responsible for everything that happens in our lives. Do you agree?

In this lecture, I'll discuss the fourth of the 7 Master Steps that you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making tremendous progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

STEP 4: Take Stock (Self Reflect & Assess)

If you are in control of your thoughts, you can achieve almost anything. It sounds simplistic, and we’ve all heard it before, many times, and wondered why we still can’t achieve what we want.

But hang on, there’s more to it that just a simplistic belief that “you can achieve anything you want in life”... right?

In this lecture, I'll discuss the fifth of the 7 Master Steps that you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making tremendous progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

STEP 5: Ditch The Junk (Bad Habits & Attitudes)

Every contribution towards a better world is significant. Every one of us can make a difference.

Do you know what difference you want to make? Or, are you already making one?

In this lecture, I'll discuss the sixth of the 7 Master Steps that you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making huge progress in your personal, professional and your social life.

STEP 6: Look Beyond Yourself & Give Something Back

"When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous." - Wayne Dyer

In this lecture, I'll discuss the seventh of the 7 Master Steps that you can begin taking today for getting outside of your comfort zone, and making huge progress in your personal, professional and your social life. I'll also re-visit the previous 6 steps and illustrate how they all interconnect.

STEP 7: Find a Pete (Or be a Pete for Someone Else!)
Final Section & Closing Thoughts
3 Lectures 19:18

In what is one of the penultimate video's of the course, I'll leave you with a few more thoughts for further reflection.

Final Thoughts for Reflection

No real course would ever be complete without it's very own list of recommended reads .... so without further a due, here it is in this courses final video .... which brings us to a close ... for now!

As I mention in this video, I fully appreciate that this course doesn't cover every single aspect and element of life ... however, I have done my very best to include all of the most 'important stuff' that I’ve learned to apply over the years.

If there's anything that you'd like me to add to this course, please message me directly, as this will allow me to know what additional lectures to add to the course moving forwards.

But other than this, if you'd be willing to take a few minutes and write a short review, I'd be hugely appreciative - this allows other potential students to make a better-informed decision as to whether this is the kind of course that would benefit them,

Other than this, get yourself out there and start getting more SOCIAL … & be sure to let me know how you get on!

Recommended reads for Further Study & Reflection

This video brings the course to a close (for now), and I can only thank you once again for enrolling in the first place, and also for placing your trust in me as your coach.

Moving forward, I will continue to develop the course by adding new resources and study materials (and please feel free to get in touch with me directly if there are topics that you'd like me to produce future videos on).

For now, though, if you'd be happy to take a few minutes to rate and review the course - I'd hugely appreciate it - this will allow other potential 'students of truth' to make a well-informed decision as to whether this is the kind of course that might benefit and help them.

But other that this, God bless, all the best and I'll look forward to hopefully seeing you again in one of my other courses!

Kain Ramsay

Closing Thoughts & Summary
About the Instructor
4.5 Average rating
1,462 Reviews
28,808 Students
22 Courses
Innovator in Psychology, Life Coaching & NLP Interventions

In the last decade, Kain Ramsay has influenced his following towards developing themselves in confidence, character, leadership and strength.

Kain has worked his unique brand of personal transformation with top business achievers, sports people, musicians, entrepreneurs and ex-military personnel by teaching how to live with greater intentionality, integrity and purpose.

He consistently astounds his audience by demonstrating how small changes in people’s thinking, can yield massive results in people's lives. He is one of the UK’s most trusted life coaches with over 28,000 people enrolled in his unique range of self improvement courses.

Beginning his career in the military, Kain spent 9 years in the British Army and served on Operational Tours in Saudi Arabia, Kenya, Kuwait and Gulf War II before terminating his service in 2004. Beyond the Military, he also developed successful careers in the finance sector, sales, marketing and in business communications.

He studied psychology and sociology in Edinburgh, before continuing in further study of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Counselling and even Theology. Today, he serves as an influential leader in the personal development industry.

A successful entrepreneur and philanthropist, Kain serves as Chairman of Solid Grounds, a Scottish veterans charity, which serves and guides Ex-Military personnel through the often problematic transition from military to civilian life.

Kain's commitment to creating life-changing self improvement resources, is surpassed only by his passion for family as a dedicated husband to his wife, Karen.


Report Abuse