Master Your Emotions and Revolutionise Your Social Skills

To master your emotions and revolutionize your social skills, you first need to master the calibre of your thinking. To a greater or lesser extent, your perception will color your interpretation of reality. As we open up section two of the course, Kain discusses the damaging nature of judgement and how assumptions are the archenemy that hinders the forming of healthy and honouring relationships.

It is our interpretation of our past experiences that shape our experience of the present and our expectations of the future. In the absence of a clear understanding of how our focus determines how we feel today, we have no hope of managing our emotions. Throughout this video, Kain explains a model that can help you make sense of your own emotional experience of life.

The greatest problems people commonly face are linked to the accuracy of their thinking and their factfulness when it comes to interacting with people. The quality and accuracy of the way you think will directly affect your relationships with other people. In this video, Kain outlines twelve patterns of unintelligent thinking and gives a few examples of each to facilitate your understanding.

It's easy to let inaccurate thinking influence how we interact with people. At least once in our lives, all of us have had others influence our way of thinking, habits, and choices. Having the ability to think accurately is what allows us to distinguish between the sensible and the ridiculous in our own minds. It is what distinguishes mature individuals from the rest. Their thinking is critically accurate.

When it comes to making snap judgements about others, we all often take on the role of judge, jury, and executioner at times. Ideally, we should never judge anyone else in life, because it is impossible to know what someone else is experiencing. With this video, Kain introduces a tool that can be used to evaluate the accuracy of your thought processes.

In trying to measure our progress in comparison to other people, we may end up inflating ourselves or putting ourselves down in the process. In truth, we can never objectively compare ourselves to anyone! Kain shares a personal example in this video of how he fell into this comparison trap in his own life and then introduces a series of self-reflection questions for your own consideration.

Stephen Karpman first described the Drama Triangle back in the 1960s. The model is a character study of problematic social interactions that highlights how three roles represent a common and dysfunctional response to conflict: victim, rescuer, and perpetrator. In this video, Kain examines the disempowerment dynamic and empowerment dynamic, creating a comparison between them.

Unknowingly, some people define themselves by their distinct personality traits. This is one of the most common ways to undermine one's self-esteem and confidence. A German born behavioural psychologist, Hans J. Eysenck devised a model of personality versatility. Kain breaks down Eysenck's model and suggests that how we identify will always influence our willingness to change and grow.

Generally speaking, values refer to those factors that motivate individuals to make the decisions they do, and to act or behave in the manner they do. For this reason, it is crucial to understand human values in order to better understand other people. Kain illustrates the interconnected nature of human values during this teaching, and illustrates how these values motivate all human behavior and activity.

This video is part 1 of 2.

Generally speaking, values refer to those factors that motivate individuals to make the decisions they do, and to act or behave in the manner they do. For this reason, it is crucial to understand human values in order to better understand other people. Kain illustrates the interconnected nature of human values during this teaching, and illustrates how these values motivate all human behavior and activity.

This video is part 2 of 2.

If we want to truly understand a person, we must first understand their driving forces, i.e. what values they're prioritising today. When we don't have people in our lives that inspire us, we end up comparing ourselves to others (putting ourselves up or down) in an unhealthy way. In this video, Kain introduces an exercise to help you start considering the positive role models in your own life.

As you now know, values are the motive behind purposeful action. They are the ends to which we act. Often our core values reveal themselves through our actions and general life pursuits. As we reflect upon the reasons why we 'do what we do', our values can begin to become quite apparent. In this video, Kain invites you to consider some of the reasons why you felt strongly enough to take action.

Living by your personal values sounds easy - at least in theory. Your values, after all, are simply the things that are important to you in life, so it should be natural to live by them. When you're in situations being authentic, that's a clue that you are in alignment with your values. In this video, Kain invites you to carry out one final exercise as you consider times when you're most/least authentic.

In this video, Kain outlines a series of self-reflection questions that you can ask yourself to think about the main ideas and lessons you have learned throughout this section of the training course.

We better understand ourselves and others when we understand the culture in which we've been brought up in. We will only ever influence people if we first understand their cultural mindset and/or values.In this video, Kain outlines three components that are pivotal for us to consider if we want to become culturally competent.

There is a limit to how much change a person can handle at any given moment in time. It is important to remember that not everyone is ready for change, so we have to be patient with them and learn to "meet them where they are at". As Kain tells the story of Plato's Cave, he paints a picture of the importance of remaining culturally relevant as you move through your life.

The more directive we are in our communications with others, the more likely it is that we will encounter resistance. Whenever possible, we want to communicate in a non-directive manner, as this enables people to feel more comfortable spending time with us. In this video, Kain shares insights into his own teaching style, giving an example of what non-directive communication looks like.

Every day you shape how others perceive you through how you communicate. You send messages, directly and indirectly, all the time. Although this sounds obvious, most people don’t think about how their communication style affects their credibility. If we want to improve our social skills, it's essential that we become aware of the factors that stand to undermine our best attempts when communicating with others. In this video, Kain unpacks six different undermining communication styles.

In any committed relationship, it is unhealthy to have any level of imbalance, manipulation, or control. In order for a relationship to remain healthy, both parties must invest equally. A dysfunctional relationship can be characterized by one partner's personality being defined and validated by the other's role. This video presents some of the most common and dysfunctional relationship dances.

It is common for people to engage in unhealthy relationship dynamics when they enter a relationship from a point of perceived 'need' - believing that they require the other for validation and acceptance. As he explains the meanings of 'dependency', 'codependency', and 'freestanding', Kain provides a practical demonstration of how healthy relationships can be both established and sustained.

People who don't listen well are at high risk of misinterpreting what others say. Communication often falters the moment we open our mouths due to our inability to communicate effectively. As a result, people make assumptions, which result in what is heard being far removed from what the speaker intended. In this video Kain discusses the four stages of human misinterpretation.

Many people are not aware of some of the destructive habits they have in their communications; interruptions, sharing too much and becoming distracted can seriously harm the trust and connection with other people. As part of this video, Kain introduces a self-examination exercise to help you grow in awareness of your own ineffective interpersonal and communication habits.

It is inevitable that we will all have moments in our relationships when we have said things we did not intend. A famous old saying states that "loose lips sink ships.". In the event that we are loose with our communications, this is likely to damage trust in some of our most important relationships. During this video, Kain discusses the concept of becoming intentional in the delivery of your communications.

In the same manner that accurate communication results in greater clarity and buy-in, accurate listening results in mutual understanding and trust. Listening is the key to all effective communication. It's only when we learn how to fine tune our listening that we become equipped to hear the essence of what people are saying. In this video, Kain discusses eight distinctive types of listening.

Your social skills will be developed by your ability to establish rapport with other individuals. A person's personal presence is extremely important; many people are unaware of how their lack of self-awareness affects the way they are viewed by others. In this lesson, Kain discusses the importance of integrating 'immediacy' into our routine conversations with other people.

In a relationship, immediacy is essential in order for two individuals to focus on the present moment, so they can bypass superficial bonds and begin a deeper and more intimate connection with one another. Kain demonstrates in this video how we can use immediacy as a highly-valuable communication skill to increase rapport and trust with others in our routine interactions.

The moment we remove agendas from our interactions with others, we are able to appreciate other people and things for what they truly are. In order to establish a conflict-resistant relationship, there are certain ideas that we should assume are true. This video outlines some of the foundational attitudes that can be adopted in order to strengthen and build relationships based on trust.

This closing video brings us to the end of this ‘Master Your Emotions and Revolutionise Your Social Skills’ training course. In this video Kain outlines a series of self-reflection questions that you can ask yourself to consider the main ideas and lessons you've learned throughout this section. He brings the course to a close with a few recommended reads and some closing thoughts.

It's always exciting to complete a course and take the first steps towards mastering new skills. However, learning is an ongoing process, and there is always more knowledge to gain and ways to apply it. Here are some possible next steps you can take after completing this course: