Thawing the Inner Family of Self
- 4.5 hours on-demand video
- 13 articles
- 20 downloadable resources
- Full lifetime access
- Access on mobile and TV
- Certificate of Completion
Get your team access to 4,000+ top Udemy courses anytime, anywhere.Try Udemy for Business
- If you are a professional helper, add state of the art therapy tools to expand your toolbox and provide structure for your clients even after therapy or coaching ends
- Understand a unified model of addiction, codependency, and Adult/Child Syndrome
- Overcoming long-standing emotional problems and abandonment issues
- Be able to co-create and maintain healthy relationships with others
- Develop a healthy relationship with self and increase self-awareness tenfold
- Improve Self-Esteem & Confidence
- Reduce or eliminate ineffective patterns of self-talk or behavior
- Have access to these tools for life as a resource for ongoing personal evolution
- Prerequisitie training & Materials Included in the course
In the Thawing Your Inner Family of Self program I've blended the most useful and effective techniques I have learned in my almost 30 years of clinical experience. This multi-media course has a dual purpose:
1. It is designed for those who want to overcome Family of Origin Issues such as growing up in a less-than-nurturing family such as abandonment issues, codependency, PTSD, dysfunctional relationships, low self-esteem, chronic depression, etc.
2. It is designed to teach other counselors and coaches these very powerful and effective techniques for helping their clients too. The program is also a great compliment to any helping process by providing structure and tools for use with clients.
I combined the classics with some of the newest, most powerful personal transformation technologies available today to create this interactive process for Overcoming Childhood Trauma, personal healing and development. These include Gestalt psychology, Ego-State therapy, Inner Family Systems Therapy, Precision Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Inner Child work, Parts Integration, Hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Schema Therapy, and many other models. This, of course, includes at the very core my own Iceberg Model.
- Don's Clients & Website Vistiors
- Counselors, Coaches, and their Clients
- Those Invovled in Self Help & Personal Growth
NOTE: If you would like to order any of the Paperback or Kindle versions of books in the Thawing the Iceberg Series directly from Amazon.com click here .
Please answer the questions as thoroughly as possible. Then complete the formulas at the bottom of each page. If you would rather download the document go to the "Extra's" Tab on the right side of the screen.
NOTE: Set your browser to "always allow popups" for Udemy or you may not be able to download documents
NOTE: This video makes reference to a PDF below the viewer ... This video is also a part of a program in my Thawing the Iceberg Online Membership site that has PDF's below the viewer. That thumbnail is not actually available with this viewer so please just ignore that reference. Thanks, Don
Audio Introduction to the "Meet Your Inner Family" Series. The video's have a relaxing motion background for those who don't like staring at a blank screen when listening to audios. If you would prefer, just get comfortable, close your eyes and follow along. You may want to take notes from time to time; if so, just pause the video.
For each of the following questions write as much as you can in your Journal. Use your intuition and instinct rather than your analytical mind. It helps to close your eyes relax, settle back, and just ask yourself each question – then wait for an intuitive response. Take your time, you can glean a wealth of information from this exercise!
This video describes the dynamics, magical thinking, and child-created ego states involved in a dysfunctional pattern of communication called "The Figure Eight." The next several lectures below provide tools for learning and practicing CBT skills to strengthen the Adult Ego State. Use them as needed, especially if your child-created ego states make it a habit to "drive your bus" by overwhelming the Adult Ego State.
Download this form to your computer to fill out electronically. You may send the completed version to your therapist or coach, print them out or 'print to a file'. Then you may reset the form by clicking the reset button.
NOTE: Sending the document by email will require setting up a free account with EchoSign (By Adobe). When you click send the program will take you through the sign-up process.
If you would rather not open an account (many of us don't like to do that) Then you can print out the document and clear the form (see instructions below)
The PDF worksheet does not allow you to directly save the document to your computer, but it does allow you to print it out. From the "print" function you can "print to file" to save it to your computer or just print it out and take a picture of the document with your phone, or scan the printout back to the computer.
Once you have printed your document, then click the 'reset' button on the bottom of the page to clear the form for your next use.
Simultaneous Incongruence is the experience of inner conflict and commotion created by ego states with competing goals. It is very difficult to sort out the issue with all the commotion in our inner world when we get triggered. We need a way to remain objective and not get pulled into the chaos and emotional turmoil as we attempt to heal.
Gestalt Therapy and NLP helps us sort it all out with the concept of Sequential Incongruence ~ the process of projecting the parts involved in a conflict or symptom to our outer world, spatially separates us from them so we can communicate. There conflict remains, but the commotion is quieted down as the parts involved are sorted out.
1. We literally want to open lines of communication between different parts of our brain that have previously not been well connected. In the self-psychologies the term for this disconnection is “fragmented self”. When one part of you communicates with another part of you, neuropathways in the brain are being utilized to do that. The more we engage in these dialogues, the more open and connected these pathways become. In some cases we are even establishing connections that did not exist. The therapeutic term for this is “Integration.” The neurobiology term is “neurogenesis” or brain growth.
In this task we will use the trust and rapport we have been developing to gain the cooperation of the parts involved in your Well-formed Outcome goal. Since the protector parts are, in psychoanalytic terms, defense mechanisms they cannot do anything but what they were created to do – i.e., defend and protect the current survival system.
If we ignore these “managing” parts; plowing forward to make changes to your survival system we are asking for and creating unnecessary resistance. Indeed, even in the best of circumstances we will encounter resistance – but it won’t be unnecessary. It will be in the form of concerns or objections by parts we have already taken the time to get to know.
Once permission to access is given and all manager parts (defense mechanisms) have stepped aside, we are now prepared to access the wounded part.
In this task we need to bring the wounded part to the front and center, while managers fade into the background. Don’t be surprised if a manager steps up, or a new manager steps out into your awareness…just ask them about their concern or objection, negotiate/reassure them, and ask them to stand aside.
To develop a healing connection it is important to send the wounded part your empathy and compassion, even if you find the part distasteful at first.
If you do find it difficult to have empathy for this part them ask the part that creates the lack of empathy to step out into the room and work with that part. Find out what it thinks and feels toward the vulnerable wounded part and work to reassure and get it to step aside just as with any other manager.
The Re-imprinting process opens the door to healing by going to the imprint experience or experiences, watching the imprint happen, then using NLP techniques such as visualization and perceptual positions to re-experience the imprint the way it “woulda, shoulda, coulda” been in the ideal scenario. This doesn’t take away what happened in the original experience, it simply adds another experience alongside of the original. Now the brain has a choice on which experience to go to when triggered…it may start in the old direction by habit, but with a little guidance in the beginning, it can go in the new direction.
In your Journal, make a list of each of the parts you have worked with in the process above. Record their new jobs, new resources, new beliefs, and new roles for the personality as a whole.
Develop a visualization of the family of self working together in these new ways and practice that visualization for a few minutes every day. (See generic Self-Actualization Meditation)
As with other processes here, you may use this skill even outside the structure of the TIFS program.