The Ultimate Guide to Love, Dating & Relationships
4.5 (417 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
9,567 students enrolled

The Ultimate Guide to Love, Dating & Relationships

Discover the secrets, principles and strategies that allow people to build healthy, happy and rewarding relationships.
4.5 (419 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
9,567 students enrolled
Created by Kain Ramsay
Last updated 11/2016
English [Auto]
Current price: $104.99 Original price: $174.99 Discount: 40% off
1 day left at this price!
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
This course includes
  • 6 hours on-demand video
  • 61 downloadable resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
Training 5 or more people?

Get your team access to 4,000+ top Udemy courses anytime, anywhere.

Try Udemy for Business
What you'll learn
  • Discover the key strategies that strengthen relationships and that keep them exciting and alive
  • Be more genuine and authentic throughout you full range of personal and professional relationships.
  • Deal with the inevitable challenges that often arise in relationships
  • Learn how to communicate more effectively with other people.
  • Identify and choose a long term life partner more effectively.
  • Understand how to earn the trust of other people.
  • Recognise the telltale signs that a relationship isn't working.
  • Dissolve arguments and disagreements before they even begin.
  • Transform the quality of your intimate, social and professional relationships.
  • Know how to build stronger and more vibrant relationships.
  • Students will need to be committed to improving their current relationship status in some way.
  • Students will need access to a computer, notepad and pen.

The key ingredient to happy and fulfilled people is the quality of their intimate, social, family and professional relationships - nothing else in life comes even remotely close.

We all want that special 'someone' who's going to love us unconditionally, honour us and accept us for just being who we are. Unfortunately though, if we've had more than our fair share of bad relationships through our lifetime, then it can become easy to suspect there’s no right person, just many different alternative of wrong.

The good news, is that the world is full of Mr & Mrs Right's, and if we'll but only invest time now, into becoming the kind of person that they're looking for, then it's only a matter of time before our day's of being single are over.

This Ultimate Guide to Love, Dating & Relationships will help you to discover the timeless secrets, principles and strategies that enable people to build healthy, happy and rewarding relationships throughout every area in life.

The Ultimate Guide to Love, Dating & Relationships will help you to:

  • Build Strong Connections With Friends, Colleagues and Romantic Partners.
  • Improve Your Family Relationships (With Spouses, Children & Parents).
  • Transform the Quality of the Relationship That You Have With Yourself.
  • Address Self-Esteem Issues & Your Ability to Attract or Retain a Great Partner.
  • Enhance Your Ability to Identify & Resolve Conflicts in More Effective Ways.
  • Recognise & Understand the Factors That Influence Relationship Breakdown.
  • Define the Characteristics & Attributes That You Want in Your Long Term Partner.

Regardless of your relationship status and sexual orientation, The Ultimate Guide to Love, Dating & Relationships will provide you with an actionable range of crucial communication principles, insights and strategies for engaging with other people in the most impacting ways. Your life and your relationships will never be the same.

These are the times of fast foods, slow digestion, big men, small character, steep profits and very shallow relationships. By the end of the course you'll understand the steps that you can start taking today towards building healthy relationships that last, and also begin connecting with other people in a far more meaningful way.

Partnered with 100% Money Back Guarantee, join thousands of others in learning how to build stronger, healthier and more fulfilling relationships throughout the most important areas of your life.

Who this course is for:
  • SINGLES: Those who are actively searching for a serious long term relationship.
  • COUPLES: Those who are already in a relationship and are committed to strengthening their existing connection.
  • DIVORCEES: This course will identify the skills and qualities that will enable you to make a successful selection of your next partner.
  • MEN & WOMEN: The course is gender neutral, for any age and for any sexual orientation. Anyone can benefit from it.
  • HELPING SPECIALISTS: Those who provide relationships advice, coaching or counselling in a teaching, mentoring or a therapeutic context.
  • STUDENTS: Those who are still in education and want to how to build strong relational connections before committing to a life partner or entering the workplace.
  • ANYONE: Who wants to know how to build lasting relationships through earning the trust and admiration of other people.
Course content
Expand all 55 lectures 06:38:24
+ Introducing The Ultimate Guide To Building 'Fail-Proof' Relationships
4 lectures 33:34

The number one key element common to happy people is the quality of their relationships - nothing else comes even remotely close.

Much like your personal finances or even your chosen career, if your relationship blueprint isn't set for the best possible outcomes, you'll find it difficult to maintain the relationships you have and also find it difficult to nurture new ones.

Throughout this course you will receive all the insights and direction that you need to critically review and improve all of your personal and professional relationships.

Preview 09:06

Relationships ARE our very network of life and the overall quality of our lives are solely dependant on the overall quality of our relationships!

We all have them, we all need them and we all want them to be as deep and meaningful as possible for us - except this isn't always the case, and the kinds of relationships that we want aren't always the kinds of relationship that we get.

Personal relationships refer to the connections between people, which are formed through trust and over time. These bonds often grow from and are strengthened by shared experiences.

Relationships aren't static; they continually evolve and change, therefore to fully enjoy and benefit from our relationships we need skills, universal principles we can trust, solid information, inspiration, a little bit of practice, and sometimes a bit of a shove in the right direction.

As there's not ONE perfect person on the face of this planet, expecting our relationships to be perfect can be a tad unrealistic. However, as our relationships will never be perfect, this means that there will always be room for improvement!

No-one in life is perfect, and no-one will ever achieve 100% peace and fulfillment in every area of their lives! But balance IS 100% achievable in our relationships, once trust has been developed, over the process of time.

This programme has been designed to help get you further in your relationships, faster. With more ease, confidence and direction towards not just defining your standards in your relationships, but also in meeting them!

I hope that you both enjoy, AND benefit from the principles, stories and the universal truths I have to share in this Ultimate Relationship Coaching Programme.


How To Benefit Most from the Course

Define your “ideal partner” based upon the person you already know yourself to be.

Create an avatar for the partner who would complement you and who can support you in becoming the man/woman you are here to be.

In this video, we'll discuss the elements that 'make up' that 'Ideal Partner'.

Preview 09:24

Unconditional acceptance is being able to understand and tolerate the qualities or habits of another person, no matter what they are or even how they came to be in the first place!

Everyone wants it, everyone needs it and I'm yet to meet another human being who doesn't crave for it!


Preview 11:14
+ The Foundations For Stronger Relationships
11 lectures 01:04:55

As we journey through life we grow accustomed to wearing a variety of different masks, which show themselves through who we become when associating with the differing people in our lives. Many of the most challenging difficulties we can face in our relationships, come when the 'masks' that we wear, become a road block for the most important people in our lives getting to truly know and accept us.

If we haven't yet grown to understand and accept who we are as individuals, how could we ever be able to expect others to know us, understand and accept us?

In this video I have attempted to share the extent of the common problems that can arise from not knowing how to accept who we truly are in life. I share an impacting true story about a girl who had suffered with anxiety and low confidence for years before coming to this revelation. It is my hope that you come to the same revelation.


The Groundworks For Stronger Relationships

Your time is here on Earth is limited, so don't waste it by trying to be someone that you're not!

It's true that if we don't know who we are in life, we'll never fully know how to effectively act, behave or build the depth of healthy and authentic relationships that we long for.

Have you ever felt that sometimes you are your own worst enemy?

We all have times in life when, no matter how hard we try, things just don't seem to work out the way we want and we really have anyone else to blame but ourselves.

But, just as we may sometimes be our own worst enemy, we can also be our own best friend.

This transition usually happens when we realise that the only person on earth who can determine how well your relationships work out is ourselves.

We'll often discover our most meaningful relationships upon developing the maturity and strength of character to take the actions necessary to become the kind of people we wish to be.

When we analyse ourselves objectively, we can begin to build upon our strengths which will always more than compensate for our flaws and weaknesses.

The root cause of many of the challenging emotions we face in life throughout life can be found in our attempts to be accepted, liked and loved by other people - when often, we may not have even paid that very compliment to ourselves.

The Foundations For Stronger Relationships

"Be unto others the way you would have them be unto you ..."

This saying is one of the oldest notions known to man and is the basis of many of the ethical systems on which societies have been built ... for centuries!

Many expressions of it in various versions have existed in the classic literature of Greece and Rome, as well as in Islamic, Taoist, Sikh and other religious texts. The English 'do unto others...' version is the biblical expression of it.

The importance of the belief was emphasised during the 17th century, when it began to be known as the Golden Law, or Golden Rule.

Whilst this saying is easy to speak ... it can be a lot more challenging to actually carry out!

An Equation For Sustainable Relationships that Last

There is a secret relationship between who we believe that we are and how we relate to others!

What we do in life is often determined by who we think we are, therefore, how we see ourselves will often determine how we conduct ourselves about others.

Growing to become secure in our identity will influence the way we behave and conduct ourselves with others. For example, if we see ourselves as Catholic, then we will act and behave in a way that compliments our beliefs as to how a Catholic should act and behave.

However, the danger is that if we choose to underscore and place a higher value in what we do rather than who we are, we might find our identity through what we produce, create, or our results.

We find our identity in our results; we might see ourselves as a Ph.D. degree holder or as a CEO, manager, leader, etc. We stand at risk of giving more emphasis to the role that we have that that of who we are.

The Story of Identity Glue

Are you frustrated because of all the broken down relationships you've experienced over the years?

Well, out there on the dating scene it can be a very tough market - have you ever considered that some of the problems you face might not be other peoples fault all the time but yours?

Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's you!

The attached PDF will introduce you to: The VISUAL DNA 'Who Am I?' test.

  • A free online personality quiz.
  • An insightful look into who you really are.
  • Based on the OCEAN (Big 5) personality model.

Copy & Paste this link into your browser or follow the direct link in the external resources section:

Exercise 1: The 'Who Am I?' Test
3 pages

In ancient civilisations, 'your name' meant a whole lot more than just a couple of words that are to be found on your driving license or identity card ... let's look at the meaning of your name in just a little bit more detail!

What's the Meaning in a Name?

Many of the most challenging difficulties we can face in our relationships, come when the 'masks' that we wear, become a road block for the most important people in our lives getting to truly know and accept us.

If we haven't yet grown to understand and accept who we are as individuals, how could we ever be able to expect others to know us, understand and accept us?

The link in the Additional Resources section will take you directly to The VISUAL DNA ' PERSONALITY ' Quiz.

Take time to answer the questions as honestly as possible. Upon doing so, you'll gain further clarity into 'Who You Are' before we move on into more key teachings:

We'll be looking at look at how to manage your relationships, choose the right relationships for you and how to make these relationships last!

Exercise 2: The 'My Personality' Test
3 pages

The quality of relationship we have with others is often similar to the quality of relationship we have with ourselves.

Our external relationships and our internal relationships are in fact the same relationships. They only seem different because we look at them through different lenses.

Becoming Objective In Our Relationships

This Lecture incorporates a story of 'Margaret's Bird', which tells about a bird who chose to value the security of his cage over freedom in the context of his very own life.

Although security is most people's first choice in life, it may not be the option that provides us with the outcomes we truly want!

A common problem that many of us face in life and our relationships, is our innate desire to please other people in order to be accepted by them. The reason why this is a problem, is that if our need to be accepted by others comes at the cost of our freedom to simply be ourselves in our relationships, the only person we end up making truly miserable and lonely is ourselves.

The need to feel significant, of value to others and secure within ourselves are three universal motives that drive and often govern us all in some way.

Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor in forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is right now in the present.

That famous quote by Benjamin Franklin that "Those who would give up freedom, to purchase a piece of temporary Safety, deserve neither Freedom nor Safety"

The reason why so many of value security in our relationships opposed to 100% honesty and authenticity is that the truth can often hurt, either ourselves or others. And when we begin on the journey of becoming clear of our own person standards and start communicating them to those we find ourselves in relationship with, we can leave ourselves wide open and exposed to the potential rejection of others.

Keeping the peace and not being totally honest about our standards in relationships can be easy, and this will often provide us with a false sense of security.

However, if you value the idea of Freedom in your relationships beyond the comforts of security, this will demand from us change - and change always brings about uncertainty.

Why do we fear change in our relationships?

Because we'd often rather live with security that the uncertainty that accompanies the freedom of personal authenticity.

Why We Don't Always get What We Want!

This is the 1st Assignment of the course which will ask you 4 questions that can help you to find 'honest' answers in the context of every relationship problem that you could find yourself in.

The video in this section will talk you through a results focussed practical exercise which gives you an opportunity to consider and apply some of the key principles and stories I've shared throughout this Ultimate Relationship Coaching Programme.

I've attached the worksheet below for you to print off and work through as many times as required in order to begin making the changes that you need to make in your relationships ... STARTING TODAY.

End of Section Assignment
+ Becoming A More Attractive Character For Others
14 lectures 01:27:59

There is a disease, which if we're not able to catch it in the early stages, stands to rot our relationships from the inside-out. ''SELF CONSUMPTION - ITIS'' : Simply stated, it is an individual that is so consumed with their own selves that they become oblivious to, nor do they care how their actions or words impact others.

i.e. Sarah was so self-consumed that she would get angry at other when she did not get what she wanted.


George: "Hey David?"

Sarah: "What do you want?"

George: "Can I borrow your camera?"

Sarah: "No! you'll scratch the lens and put finger prints allover my camera .... AAArrrggghhh, stop wanting all MY stuff and go and get your own!"

George: "Jeez you're really self consumed - I think that you may have contracted Self Consumptionitis!"

This disease will often be learned from self consumed parents, guardians and siblings who are 100% completely obsessed with having their own needs met that they are unwilling to recognise the needs and wants of others.

Unlike many other diseases, this one is a choice!

The Relationship Sickness (Self-con-sump-tion-itis)

So, whilst being out and about living your life at it's fullest, you stumble across someone new and the sparks are flying! You've got a nervous laugh going on, butterflies in your stomach, and Goosebumps going right the way down your back. Everything is going great, and conversation is coming more naturally than you anticipated. This is what you've been waiting for, and before you know it - you're hooked on wanting this person 'real bad!'

Within a few days, texts are being exchanged and maybe some plans are being put into place. Nerves are definitely not going unnoticed, and you're telling your friends all the great qualities you've found about this person within your short span of getting to know one another.

Of course they've heard all of 'this' before, whether it was from you or another friend at a previous point in time. And by “this”, I mean an immediate physical attraction. AKA: Lust.

Now don't get me wrong, lust is an exciting, new feeling that everyone likes to experience. It's the adrenaline rush you get of thinking “C'mon … I think this is the one!”

After the first kiss you are hooked, and the ongoing text messages until 2am in the morning will 100% be worth the tiredness at work tomorrow. You're beginning to fall for this person, and you're completely convinced that they're a personally hand wrapped gift from God himself!

This is Lust speaking – and it's well and truly caught your attention.

You begin to think there are no faults in this person, and even if there are, they're all small enough to overlook ... for now.

Until things begin to change. All of a sudden those “Good morning xxx” texts fade away, or in some instances become so repetitive you begin to wonder whether an automatic text generator has been set up to merely humor you.

All of their little habits that to begin with were cute and funny soon become a little bit overwhelming and boring. At first, those things seemed okay to handle .... but after time, you begin needing something slightly more meaningful that compliments and giggles.

Love doesn't happen in the blink of an eye. Sure, some people like to believe in “love at first sight”, but that's just the initial attraction that led to the opening for a relationship.

Falling in love can happen in many different ways, but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about distinguishing love from lust. And as we've seen- lust is a temporary high, which unfortunately you come down from. You see all the good at first, and then all of the bad at once. And things can get very messy from falling out of lust.

You don't fall “out” of love with someone. You don't stop seeing all of the good things you saw when you first thought to yourself, “this is the one.” Those quirks, weird habits and interests? You'll soon take them up as a part of your lifestyle too, because as a relationship matures and evolves, the people within the relationship must also mature and evolve.

Love isn't lust. It doesn't happen fast. It comes over time, as days pass and you constantly find new and exciting reasons as to why you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

Although lust can feel 'nice', love is always more fulfilling and rewarding when two people learn to work through their differences of perspectives and begin to appreciate one another for their differences, not for their sameness's.

Love. Work for it. Love is much more difficult to achieve than lust.

It's real, and can last for as long as you're willing to commit to it.

The Difference Between Love & Lust

The Halo Effect is a form of bias in which our overall impression of a person (a figurative halo) colours our judgment of that person's character.

The research into the halo effect shows that a person's positive qualities, physical appearance, and general attractiveness affects how we judge their character—the better they look and behave, the better a person we judge them to be.

A classic example of the halo effect would be a politician whom we trust to make good decisions because he seems warm and friendly and has great hair and a bright smile. This effect isn't just limited to the halo of saintliness, either; other researchers have found a sort of devil-horns effect in which a general negative impression of a person makes us judge their character negatively.

Understanding The Halo Effect & Law Of Attraction

There's that old saying that 'Birds of a feather, flock together', so, if you've been used to hanging out with religious people, negative people, paranoid people, miserable people, fearful excuse-making people and under-achievers - If you've not already become like them, there's a pretty good chance that you soon will!

Who you associate with doesn't necessarily determine who we become in life, but it certainly does influence us.

As much as you're able to, invest your time into building meaningful relationships with people who you admire, respect and even trust; people who will encourage and empower you, not handicap you and hold you back!

This video might 'rattle some cages' ... pardon the pun!

Preview 08:03

How many times have you heard the expression “birds of a feather flock together”?

In this mini eBook you'll discover exactly what this means and what it means in your relationships.

Birds of a Feather (eBook)
5 pages

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and felt a huge disconnect, as if you were talking by using two completely different languages?

If so, in this video I discuss the 4 stages of communication: which if we don't understand and grow to appreciate - can leave us often getting the 'wrong end of the stick!'

The Art Of Healthy Communications

If you've even been on the receiving end of unfair and hash judgement, you'll know exactly how hurtful and disappointing it can be.

In order to live out healthy and fulfilling relationships, a foundation of trust is required - which can sometimes take years before it becomes fully developed.

A judgement is another persons assumptions and presumptions about your motives behind saying the things that you say, and doing the things that you do. And if one person is on the receiving end of another persons harsh and unfair judgement, the first thing to become damaged is trust.

Although trust can take years to be developed, it can also be torn down and destroyed in an instant!

Judgment: The Serial Trust Killer

Unforgiveness can be one of the most difficult things in the world to offer other people ... but it's one of the only few things that can ever fully allow us to grow in maturity and develop our relationships to their fullest potential.

Unforgiveness: The Serial Relationship Killer

If you are anything like me, you may catch yourself frequently falling into the emotionally dangerous trap of comparing yourself to others.

While comparing ourselves to others can be a valuable source of motivation and growth, it can also spin us into a tail-chasing frenzy of insecurity and self-doubt!

With the explosion of social media giving us access to continuous material upon which to compare ourselves, our attempts to keep up with the Jones(es) have moved beyond the neighbourhood and onto the World Wide Web!

This makes it especially important, now more than ever, to think about the downside of using others as a benchmark for our own worth.

According to social comparison theory, we do this in an attempt to make accurate evaluations of ourselves. But at what cost?

I'll leave you to decide ...

Becoming A Judge Of Character


A common term frequently used today in the context of relationship is "personal boundaries". Virtually every new psychology book today expresses the value of personal boundaries within the workplace, in relationships, with friends, family, and any significant others.

Use this following self-assessment exercise to evaluate whether you have 'Healthy Boundaries' in your current relationships or not:

Preview 6 pages

Some of the biggest challenges we can face in our relationships stem from the fact that many people enter into a relationship motivated by what they can get and attempting to find someone who's going to make them feel good.

In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

I've never met anyone who's ever claimed to be content with surface level, shallow or superficial relationships and in this video I hope to explain why.

All of our relationships go through a series of 6 stages, with each one of these stages building upon the last.

It is my hope that by you growing to understand the 5 stages that relationships go through, you will be better equipped and prepared to navigate through these stages more effectively without unnecessarily getting "stuck" in any of them which can limit the depths and meaning that potentially your relationships may reach.

In the video I have attempted to demonstrate the process of which healthy relationships are formed, by progressing through the following stages:

  1. The Superficiality Stage
  2. The Attraction (compatibility) Stage
  3. The Power Struggle Stage
  4. The Stability Stage
  5. The Commitment Stage
  6. The Intimacy Stage

As you'll see in the video, these stages aren't by any means a linear process; but are more like a picture showing the process of relationship development.

We all retain the lessons learned in each stage of this process and will naturally bring them forward into new relationships as we grow and develop in maturity.

If you've ever experienced a relationship which keeps on coming back to the same old arguments, debates or problems - you may now be able to realise that this is merely the power struggle stage of your relationship that no-one has been able to identify or has known how to overcome until now.

Relationships, marriages and friendships are ruined where one person continues to learn, develop and grow in personal maturity whilst the other person stands still and changes nothing.

This is one of my favourite lectures, I hope that you find this one particularly useful!

Building Character & Trust Into Our Relationships

Trust is the foundation for building strong relationships upon. However, lack of trust is one of the most common themes to surface in most relationships today.

If you find yourself struggling with trust in one or more of your relationships, this mini eBook will give you some tips for helping you to develop greater trust in your most important relationships.

Top 10 Tips for Developing Trust (eBook)
4 pages

You can't make all people like you, but you can rob them of a good reason for disliking you!

Even the most popular people in the world have their detractors. Because we're all different, with differing interests and personalities, it's simply impossible to be accepted by every single person who comes to know us!

If your mission in life is to make everyone like you, great disappointment is in store.

However, if you are always kind and considerate in your dealings with others, they may not like you, but it will be impossible for them to dislike you. You can cement your relationships with others by making sure that you are a person of character, one who is predictably honest, straightforward, and ethical.

When you follow this code of personal conduct, you may not be admired by others who don't share your values, but you will be respected by those who are open enough to really get to know you.

And in the end, genuineness and personal authenticity will grow to mean far more to you than the mere popularity with others.

Seek Understanding First Before All Other Things

INSTRUCTIONS: Sometimes we can become so focused on the problems in a relationship that we forget to see our partner as a person. You can strengthen your relationship by learning more about your partner & discussing their thoughts or feelings.

Take turns selecting a question from each section in the workbook to ask your partner. If you think you know all the answers in a section, see if you can answer them all correctly!

Exercise 4: Understanding Your Partner Better (eBook)
3 pages
+ An Alternate Perspective for our Relationships!
4 lectures 41:18

To "put things in perspective" means to see them from an objective viewpoint (or one that is generally different from your own and not based upon your emotions).

For example: A young person may be emotionally devastated by a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The best way for that person to get over the hurt, is to see the relationship from the viewpoint of his or her whole life, rather than just for the present.

While no one should deny that a breakup always result in hurt feelings and a sense of loss, anyone who has lived through a challenging breakup will tell you even though times might be tough at the moment, it is not the end of your life, and the best thing to do is continue living and dreaming of how great your future could be.

That would be a great example of "putting things in perspective".

In this video, I'll share another story that will hopefully give you a greater depth of insight into exactly what I mean by this.

The Mustard Seed Perspective

Your perspective is the way you see something. If for example you believe that toys corrupt children's minds, then from your perspective, a toy shop will be an evil place!

Perspective has a Latin root meaning "look through" or "perceive," and all the meanings of perspective have something to do with looking.

If you observe the world from a dog's perspective, you see through the dog's eyes. When drawing a picture, perspective gives your drawing the appearance of both depth and distance. If we say someone "has perspective," we mean she has a wise outlook on life.

The story I tell in this video is true, and I have also included the 'Article version' in the additional materials section.

The Marie Perspective: Part 1

This video proceeds the last where I share my story of Marie on a slightly deeper level.

The Marie Perspective: Part 2

The Inspirational Love Story of Rick and Dick Hoyt

I was considering ways of which I would be able to illustrate a picture of flawless and inspirational love but was unable to find any story of my own which would 'top' the truly inspirational and heart warming story of Mr Rick and Dick Hoyt ... but I'll leave you to decide!

Rick was born in 1962 to Dick and Judy Hoyt. As a result of oxygen deprivation to Rick's brain at the time of his birth, Rick was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. Dick and Judy were advised to institutionalise Rick because there was no chance of him recovering, and little hope for Rick to live a “normal” life. This was just the beginning of Dick and Judy's quest for Rick's inclusion in community, sports, education and one day, the workplace.

Dick and Judy soon realised that though Rick couldn't walk or speak; he was quite astute and his eyes would follow them around the room. They fought to integrate Rick into the public school system, pushing administrators to see beyond Rick's physical limitations. Dick and Judy would take Rick sledding and swimming, and even taught him the alphabet and basic words, like any other child. After providing concrete evidence of Rick's intellect and ability to learn like everyone else, Dick and Judy needed to find a way to help Rick communicate for himself.

With $5,000 in 1972 and a skilled group of engineers at Tufts University, an interactive computer was built for Rick. This computer consisted of a cursor being used to highlight every letter of the alphabet. Once the letter Rick wanted was highlighted, he was able to select it by just a simple tap with his head against a head piece attached to his wheelchair. When the computer was originally first brought home, Rick surprised everyone with his first words. Instead of saying, “Hi, Mom,” or “Hi, Dad,” Rick's first “spoken” words were: “Go, Bruins!” The Boston Bruins were in the Stanley Cup finals that season. It was clear from that moment on, that Rick loved sports and followed the game just like anyone else.

In 1975, at the age of 13, Rick was finally admitted into public school. After high school, Rick attended Boston University, and he graduated with a degree in Special Education in 1993. Dick retired in 1995 as a Lt. Colonel from the Air National Guard, after serving his country for 37 years.

The Beginning of Team Hoyt

In the spring of 1977, Rick told his father that he wanted to participate in a 5-mile benefit run for a Lacrosse player who had been paralysed in an accident. Far from being a long-distance runner, Dick agreed to push Rick in his wheelchair and they finished all 5 miles, coming in next to last. That night, Rick told his father, “Dad, when I'm running, it feels like I'm not handicapped.”

This realisation was just the beginning of what would become over 1,000 races completed, including marathons, duathlons and triathlons (6 of them being Ironman competitions). Also adding to their list of achievements, Dick and Rick biked and ran across the U.S. in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days.

In a triathlon, Dick will pull Rick in a boat with a bungee cord attached to a vest around his waist and to the front of the boat for the swimming stage. For the biking stage, Rick will ride a special two-seater bicycle, and then Dick will push Rick in his custom made running chair (for the running stage).

Rick was once asked, if he could give his father one thing, what would it be? Rick responded, “The thing I'd most like is for my dad to sit in the chair and I would push him for once.”

The 2009 Boston Marathon was officially Team Hoyt's 1000th race. Rick always says if it comes down to doing one race a year he would like it to be the Boston Marathon: his favourite race.

2013 was going to be Dick and Rick's last Boston Marathon together, but they were not able to finish due to the bombings. They vowed to be back in 2014 to finish "Boston Strong" with all the other runners, which they did; stopping many times along the 26.2 distance to take photos and shake hands of the many well wishers, and finishing with several of the runners from their Hoyt Foundation Boston Marathon team.

Dick and Rick will continue to do shorter distances races and triathlons together, and teammate Bryan Lyons will be taking over in pushing Rick in the 2015 Boston Marathon. Bryan and Rick ran some local races together this year, and will start training for Boston after the holidays, doing a half marathon in Carlsbad, CA in January, as well as, other local half marathons and races.

Today in December 2014, neither Dick or Rick are ready to retire yet.

The Meaning Of Love
+ Solid Principles For Sustainable Relationships That Last
17 lectures 01:37:35

What has to happen for anything to grow? It needs some kind of action towards a goal. If it does not get what it needs to grow the result is, it has to die! Everything on earth works this way including relationships. So make sure that what you are doing does not stop growth, because you may live to regret it.

Every relationship is very different so each person requires different specific actions to enable growth. More importantly the relationships growth has to please both people, and help them to feel they are also growing as individuals within the relationship.

So the direction the relationship is heading in is critical. If the relationship has no goal, it then becomes directionless and this means the relationship is lost and starts to lose it's reason for being. When this happens the couple start to notice something is wrong and they go in search of problems.

The amount of couples that decide to commit whole lives to each other with no plan for themselves, or their relationship, other than love in the moment is staggering and is a key factor in divorce.
If A Relationship's Not Growing ... It's Dying!

Fighting is a normal part of all relationships and actually is helpful in helping couples learn about each other and resolve differences.

BUT, there is a difference between fighting to hurt each other and simply disagreeing about something. Many couples get caught in a destructive cycle in which they look for who is wrong or who is to blame for the disagreement.

Preview 07:26

Humility is a highly attractive characteristic of any human being. Humility is recognising and accepting our own limitations based on an accurate and modest estimate of our very own degree of importance and significance.

The humble person recognises that he (or she) is one among the 7.6 billion interdependent people on this earth (as of Dec 2014), earth is one planet circling the sun, and our sun is one of a billion stars in the presently known universe.

As human beings, our great wisdom can recognise, acknowledged, and accepted alongside our deeply profound ignorance. As a direct result of having a broad perspective of our own significance like this, the truly humble person cannot be humiliated by either anyone, or anything!

Humility reduces our need for self-justification and allows us to openly admit to and learn from our honest mistakes. Upon doing this our ego stands down, and no matter what the scales of our circumstances are, we are better able to balance any inquiry with absolute advocacy.

Insecurity can often be mistaken for humility. Insecure people are easily trampled over, oppressed, ignored, or even overpowered by the arrogant, aggressive, greedy, power-hungry people who will often seem more prominent. The world doesn't need anymore resentful or helpless wimps or human doormats!

In the context of our relationships, false modesty or condescension are a couple of masks, which if worn, can completely mislead another into a severe false sense of security.

Authentic and true humility preserves our dignity and stands up for the needs of each party within the relationship. It does not submit to indignity, it does not tolerate violence or even be willing to let basic human needs go unmet. Authentic humility will not submit to tyranny, or tolerate arrogance. It is authentic because dignity and human needs are authentic and are 100% completely intrinsic to each and every one of us. It is a humility that takes a firm stand for human rights.

Authentically humble people choose to act consistently with their own values rather than submit once again to an emotional impulse. They choose humility over arrogance, stillness over aggression and destruction, cooperation and achievement over rivalry, inclusion over exclusion, needs over preferences, collaboration over competition, integrity over deceit, stature over status, dignity over disrespect, and authenticity over falseness's.

Authentic humility is a wilful choice and is not passive; it understands the significance and potential of a transformation toward humility by all and pursues it relentlessly. It is the simple and symmetrical agreement that I will not trample on you, and I will not be trampled upon. It acts (or remains still) to ensure humility.

We do not tolerate tantrums from two-year olds. Don't tolerate tantrums from your ego, or anyone else's. Quell ego rants. Ensure respect and dignity for all. Become authentically humble.

Embrace authentic humility as if your life depends on it! You may be surprised when you learn that it does.

An Essential Prerequisite For All New Relationships

Have you caught yourself placing double standards in your relationship or have had them placed on you?

Double standards are sneaky and they slip into relationships with minimal effort. We tend to place demands on others without placing those same demands on ourselves.

In this video we'll explore exactly what double standards are and also how to be more aware of them.

Keeping Our 'Double Standards' At Bay

'One day you'll find the right person at the right time and place, then wonder why it took you so long to find the right companion when they've been there all along.'

Sometimes as you journey through life you can meet the right person at the wrong time for you, and other-times you'll meet the wrong person at a right time.

The trick of life is being emotionally available enough to be able to identify the right person at the right time whilst being completely able to understand the difference.

There's a Right Time & a Wrong Time for ALL Relationships

"Be unto others the way you would have them be unto you ..."

This saying is one of the oldest notions known to man and is the basis of many of the ethical systems on which societies have been built ... for centuries!

Many expressions of it in various versions have existed in the classic literature of Greece and Rome, as well as in Islamic, Taoist, Sikh and other religious texts. The English 'do unto others...' version is the biblical expression of it.

The importance of the belief was emphasised during the 17th century, when it began to be known as the Golden Law, or Golden Rule.

Whilst this saying is easy to speak ... it can be a lot more challenging to actually carry out!

You may have heard it said that in order for a relationship to work, both parties must be committed to each giving 50% (i.e. relationships must be 50/50) ... in this video I will urge you to reconsider this myth!

Busting The 50/50 Myth

The Codependent Relationship Questionnaire can be used to effectively assess whether you are in an unhealthy and co-dependent relationship.

If you are currently in a relationship, fill out this questionnaire by yourself. If you’re not currently in a relationship, you can use this quiz to determine if you’ve ever been in one in the past so you'll know the tell tale signs to look out for in the future!

Good luck!

Exercise 5: Dependancy/Co-Dependant Quiz
3 pages

Thousands of years ago there was an ancient Greek Philosopher called Aristotle who claimed that there are three very distinct types of relationship with only one of them that ever provides depth, meaning and fulfilment.

And they are:

1. Relationships of Selfish Pleasure

These are some partners who are mainly driven by sex, drugs and simply having a nice time. You might share completely meaningless yet passionate sex and playful banter, but unfortunately they go no deeper than that. These types of relationship are primarily about immediate pleasures to the body and ego. They don't nurture you with insight, encouragement and growth therefore never bring you true happiness.

2. Relationships of Selfish Utility

Relationships of utility are based upon one member of the relationships desire of garnering greater wealth, status, fame, power, glory, or beauty by merely being in the presence of their partner. These partners are founded upon what the other person can benefit from being with you, not upon how they can nurture and enhance your life in any way.

3. Relationships of Selflessness & Shared Virtue

These relationships are developed over time with partners who stimulate you, challenge you, inspire you and encourage you towards reaching your fullest potential (who nurture your soul). A good example of this is when you prioritise seeking a genuine partner who supports you on becoming the very best version of you instead of just crushing on your superficial sexy looks, confidence, talents or status. These relationships are the keepers, but can often be the most difficult to find.

In the same way that 'Birds of a feather, flock together', genuine people are attracted to other genuine people, and these kinds of relationship that may take longer to develop, but with patience, will outlast the testings of time. Soul Mates.

Aristotle's 3 Kinds Of Relationship

3 Wrong Reasons for Being in a Relationship

So, you meet this amazing person and you INSTANTLY fall head over heels for each other. For a while, things are great, they're exciting, fun, passionate and new.

You're both being loving, affectionate, and share things with each other that you've never shared with anyone else ever before. You even begin to believe that this person might even be 'THE ONE'.

But then things start to shift … one of you (or both of you) start to become distant and withdrawn. Instead of being excited to see this other person, one person may often seem distracted, irritated and generally unavailable.

And then it happens. Out of the blue someone say's: “It's not you – it's me! I really care about you, but I'm just not ready for a serious relationship right now.”

Someone ends up completely devastated, rejected, hurt, and with another emotional scar to tie on the end of the bedpost in view of tarring all future relationship candidates with.

Was there something wrong with them? Were they honestly afraid of commitment? Or is there something wrong with you?

A more helpful question to ask if you find yourself in this kind of situation is: 'Did I enter into this relationship for the right reasons in the first place?'

Here we'll explore 3 very wrong reasons for entering a new relationship (or staying in an existing one).

3 Wrong Reasons To Enter A Relationship

No one intentionally sets out to find and fall into a relationship for the wrong reasons, but unfortunately it can be a very common thing!

In this mini-book I share 3 very wrong reasons to get involved in a relationship:

3 Wrong Reasons For Being in a Relationship (eBook)
4 pages

In almost every relationship, there will be a void between what both parties expect, and what they've actually got!

Learning how to fill this void is fundamental to us moving forward, not just in our relationships, but throughout every are of our lives!

Where Relationship CRISIS Comes From

Lots of things can go wrong in a relationship but only if the relationship is between two people who are not “complete” people and rely or depend on others for their fulfilment or to fill their voids.

These people feel something in life is missing from their lives and that they cannot be complete without fulfilling whatever that may be.

Voids come in all different shapes and sizes with a variety of remedies but they are derived from negative emotions like insecurity, fear, lack of purpose, hopelessness, and loneliness. These don't include all of the reasons people have voids but feeling these things is perfectly fine and normal. What's not okay is to rid yourself of these feelings by relying on another person.

Oftentimes two people with huge voids combine into a relationship to fulfill each others voids and almost always this ends in disaster. If the relationship doesn't end in disaster it's usually because people are afraid to end it because their voids will become present again. So they go on with the relationship being miserable in a different kind of way, just barely hanging on all the time.

In this video I discuss how to go about filling the gap between, What we've got, and what we want in our relationships.

Shortening The CRISIS Gap

When used correctly, a few simple conflict resolution skills can make a tremendous difference in the quality of a relationship.

This conflict resolution worksheet shares a few tips to help avoid common pitfalls that contribute to negative interactions. The skills that are described include focusing on the problem, not the person, using reflective listening, "I" statements, using time-outs, and working toward a resolution.

Top Tips for Conflict Management (eBook)
3 pages

Are your current relationships, Good Enough or Not Good Enough ... and whatever your answer is, what is the benchmark that your comparing them to?

The 'Good Enough' Principle For Relationships

At times, most of us would rather squeeze lemon juice into our eyes that make an apology!

However, if you perfect the art of the apology, you'll be more popular than a tube station vending machine at 5pm on a Friday afternoon!

Expressing regret is vitally important for creating and maintaining healthy relationships, and the easiest way of doing this, is by simply saying; 'I'm sorry!

So, if you've screwed up with a family member, a loved one or even a colleague, please watch on ...

The Magic Word That Can Fix (Almost) Anything

Is there a perfect approach that we can take towards our relationships ... and if so, what is it??

The Perfect Approach for all Relationships

Submit? Arrrgh ... I don't think so Mr!

Based upon experience only, I have found that our angst is usually a result of misconceptions of mutual submission.

Another reason for angst about submission is that more often that not, this idea can be mistaken for 'submitting to the dominance of another' - in a controlling or a manipulative way.

So what does that mean? The idea of “mutual submission“ can simply mean to "leverage all of the power, energy, and resources at your disposal for the benefit of other members of your family/ and or relationships.”

Did you catch that? It's not all about you! It's about you working for what is best for your spouse and/or kids. It's about leaning 'IN' toward the middle of the family circle to help others, rather than leaning OUT and away from engagement and responsibility.

Here is the question that we should be asking our spouse and kids daily, “What can I do to help?”

Now that can be a scary question! However, it is a question we need to get in the habit of asking – every single day. What do you need from me? How can I help?

This question is an unselfish question.

Relationships, Marriage and parenting are all about learning how to be unselfish.

The Art of Mutual Submission
+ Final Section & Closing Thoughts
5 lectures 39:03

No Self Improvement course would ever be complete without it's very own TOP TEN TIPS ...

So here they are: My TOP 10 TIP'S For More Effective Dating!

Preview 10:03

This is you 2nd assignment of the course ... and if you see this one through, you can expect complete transformation in every single one of your relationships ;-)


Have you ever found yourself self sabotaging a relationship?

And have you ever thought for a moment as to why you would even do this?

One of the things that may help you to recognise self-sabotaging behaviour is to recognise that you are actually trying to protect yourself rather than sabotage yourself.

We all have a survival part that is programmed into us, psychologists refer to this part of us as our defence mechanisms. They get activated by fear and go into action in the attempts of protecting us from getting hurt.

You might find yourself operating from an unhelpful belief that tells you something along the lines of, "I can't deal with emotional pain," so, you end up finding yourself fleeing uncomfortable relationship situations, or engaging in some other self-protective/self-sabotaging behaviour, as if there is a real physical threat, when in reality the only threat is coming from your very own thoughts and beliefs.

As I mentioned in on one of the Section One stories, we become who we believe we are and will generally get the results that we believe that we will in life.

  • If you believe that you're useless - you are!
  • If you believe that you're of no value - you'll act accordingly and prove yourself right.
  • If you believe you will fail - you already have done!

Human beings 100% follow through with who it is that they believe they are in life, so a great place to start in view of preventing future self sabotage attempts, get clear on exactly what you can expect from yourself, from others, and how you can compliment another human being to create something greater than what has previously been.

This lecture is a 'big one' so you might want to spend some good time reflecting upon the principles I share in the video - if you have any questions on this lecture, please don't hesitate to get in touch!

Self Sabotage & Expectation Management

I wasn't originally going to add this video into the course ... but what the hell!

I hope that you fid it insightful.

Dropping Rank

Over 55 Lectures, Lessons & Stories later .... we've made it!!

If you've made it this far, a big congratulations for making this investment into yourself and for completing the course. This video is just a brief summary of the course and also gives a few 'Next Step' details for your consideration.

But other than this, we're done for now! I'd ask you to kindly consider taking a few minutes to write me a sort review and also rate the course - this will allow future students to make a more well informed decision as to whether this might the kind of course that could benefit them in some way. Many Thanks ;-)

Kindest regards,


Summary & Closing Thoughts