The Sobriety Success Method

Nutrition is the foundation of your physical health. When I talk about nutrition, I do not mean it in the sense of dieting or finding ways to lose weight (although that can become a nice side effect for many). Addiction can impact your physical body in many different ways, depending on what you are addicted to, but side effects can include:

• Depletion of specific key nutrients, such as B vitamins (B1, B6 and folic acid)

• Damage to the liver and kidneys

• Imbalance of protein, electrolytes, fluids, and calories

• eight loss and malnutrition

• Mistaking feelings of hunger for cravings

Perhaps the most telling thing about nutrition is the impact it has on your mental wellbeing. Food plays a key role in helping us to feel good. According to the Mental Health Foundation, proper dietary choices are directly associated with higher levels of mental wellbeing. There are many factors that impact mental health. Eating a healthy diet is a smart way to build a base from which healing can begin. We regularly see new research coming out that supports the role of nutrition in positive mental health outcomes. A recent study of randomized participants who made healthy dietary choices found a reduction in depression symptoms. This study contributes to an existing body of research on this topic.

The word “fitness” strikes fear into the hearts and minds of many people. Our conscious and subconscious minds still remember those difficult PE classes at school. As adults, we’re expected to carry on a physically active lifestyle on our own. Thanks to an industry built around making people feel bad about their appearance, we have lost the understanding of what it means to be fit.

For those in recovery, we need to adjust this definition. Fitness can be a truly powerful force in both maintaining and enjoying sobriety. It can be tempting to only think of fitness as something you do to try and lose a few pounds or finally earn that six-pack. But in this chapter, I want to propose a different definition that more closely represents what we’re going to accomplish together. Fitness should be thought of not as just a means of earning some kind of physical benefit, but rather as something that nourishes your entire self.

As you pull up to the house, a sense of panic begins to creep in. You know this guy, and you’ve bought from him before, he’s been your dealer for years. Something seems off, though, and you just can’t put your finger on it. The place and the air has a stagnant feel that makes it hard to breathe. Just before opening the door to get out, you get cold feet and drive back home. Opening the door to your apartment, you briefly catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. That’s when it hits you. You haven’t slept since Sunday – at least, not properly. It’s 3:00 am. You slump over the couch in a crumpled heap.

When you do finally wake up at 7:00 pm, you’re still feeling groggy. You’re definitely not well-rested. After a few minutes, you look at your phone and realize, in horror, that you’ve missed your entire shift at work.

I frequently come across this type of situation in my work with people in recovery. While this example might be extreme, I’m almost certain you will be able to relate in your own life. Think back to the times you cut back on sleep – or maybe skipped it entirely –so that you could partake in your addiction instead.

Sleep is the final component of the Sobriety Success Method section on your biological health. We all know that getting enough sleep is vital to health, but it’s even more important when you are fighting an addiction. It’s common to feel like you’re not getting enough sleep or you’re sleeping too much. You might be surprised to learn that both can be bad for your health.

Does your mental state – and mental health as a whole – need attention? There is a tendency in most cultures to avoid discussing mental health with others, and therefore it becomes a taboo subject. We hold things in and mask our true feelings, which build up over time. These feelings and thoughts can impair our decision-making abilities. As someone in recovery, developing your ability to make good decisions is crucial.

If you encounter a potential relapse trigger while holding onto bottled-up emotions, you might not be able to think clearly or rationally. Being in control of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs may be a novel idea. When people think of mental health, they often start thinking about conditions they’ve heard of, such as depression or anxiety. While those things are certainly worthy of our time and attention, we’ll put them to one side for now. They aren’t the only consideration when it comes to your mental health.

Your mental health requires ongoing attention and care throughout your life. It protects and provides the control you need, especially in recovery when the goal is long-term sobriety. I remember working with a client who had been in recovery for five or six years who came to me because he was struggling with feeling triggered to use drugs again. This client had overcome an addiction to methamphetamine and had generally been doing very well. We talked about the usual culprits for why he might be feeling triggered, but it was hard to identify why he was suddenly having problems at that particular point in time.

Chapter 11: Spirituality

“That is the real spiritual awakening, when something emerges from within you that is deeper than who you thought you were. So, the person is still there, but one could almost say that something more powerful shines through the person.”

• Eckhart Tolle

I absolutely love talking about spirituality and not just in the context of addiction and recovery, either. Before we dive too deep into this topic, please understand that spirituality is not equal to religiosity or being religious. Everyone has different experiences when it comes to spirituality and their religious beliefs.

Many of the spiritual beliefs you have may stem from your early childhood; your ideas were probably nurtured in a family environment. Because we live in a predominantly Christian nation (although it’s likely this will no longer be the case in years to come), I’ve worked with many Christians who told me about regular church visits, Sunday school events, and more.

While all of this is fine and dandy, you need to understand that God has nothing to do with your recovery, sobriety, or addiction. If you are looking for a book that suggests you speak to a God in order to solve your problems, you have picked up the wrong book. You should put it back immediately. I’m not suggesting you can’t seek or source help from a higher power, merely that the power to change already resides within you. You see, The Sobriety Success Method is all about developing and strengthening your inner self so that you can win this war for your body and mind. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be spiritual or religious. In fact, this whole lecture is dedicated to helping you use spirituality to help overcome your addiction.

For those of you who are not religious at all, this lecture might be even more powerful for you. Even if you believe that there is nothing beyond the physical realm of things we can see and touch, accessing your spiritual side can prove helpful. To be clear, this lecture is about spirituality, not religion.

This entire lecture is dedicated to helping you develop and grasp the idea of intentional living as it relates to addiction. I can’t promise to give your purpose in your life. You have to find that yourself. I can promise to help you build a set of practices that will put you on the path to a happy, fulfilled life. We’re going to discover what it means to live intentionally and how it relates to recovery. Furthermore, we’ll look at how to do it by focusing on the body’s physical needs, focusing on living in the now, and, most importantly, the role of goal setting. We’ll wrap up by going over how kindness, empathy, and being grateful plays a role in your overall success in sobriety.

This section of the course deals specifically with helping you to identify, improve, and develop the right kinds of social relationships for your life in recovery and beyond. Social constructs and relationships are so much a part of your everyday life that they either end up supporting or damaging your chances of a successful recovery.

In The Sobriety Success Method, we teach you exactly how to work on your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. These relationships ultimately contribute either positively or negatively to your recovery. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that they rarely have a neutral effect. Great relationships support you in a variety of ways. A good coworker, for instance, can easily make the daily grind of a job you hate much more tolerable. In my early teens and early working career, I had a typical fast-food job. I hated this job with an absolute passion, but the people around me made it tolerable and, dare I say it, occasionally fun. For most relationships, you will need a plan of attack.

Remember the hit sitcom, Friends? After enjoying a very successful run for almost a decade, the show has seen a resurgence now in the late 2000s thanks to its syndication on Netflix. The show is a very unrealistic look at the life and times of five friends living in New York City. As a comedy, it worked rather well because it was a superficial example of what it’s like to be friends with people. The show is so popular because it romanticizes friendship. Friends allows people to live vicariously through the characters, imagining what it must be like to have a similar kind of support system.

Yet we all know the real world is different and much more complex than anything a 30-minute sitcom can portray. Once you add addiction and recovery into the mix, friendships can become complex and uglier. The show also did a poor job when it came to tackling the issue of addiction, showing it in an unrealistic light. In short, the show was not an honest depiction of life for 20 and 30-year-olds living in New York.

Throughout the course, I’ve talked about your body and life as though it were a house. Family is, as I mentioned, guests in our homes even if they weren’t invited there in the first place. Our friends become the visitors we invite into our home by choice. In this chapter, we will spend time analyzing how your friendships have an impact on your addiction and recovery. We’ll talk about why friendships are so crucial, the signs of healthy and unhealthy friendships, and when you may need to close the door on someone. We’ll also work on how to keep a healthy friendship strong while you’re in recovery and how to regain a friend’s trust.

It was the third time this week that Geoff had to decline going out for happy hour with the team. “Come on, Geoff, it’ll be fun!” said one of his coworkers. “I don’t get what the problem is, man, I mean, drinking isn’t that big a deal,” added another. Geoff felt a slight tinge of guilt wash over him. It happened every week to some degree. Geoff wondered to himself if maybe his coworkers were right; after all, he had been sober now for six months. Surely, he could handle a drink now with his coworkers, and it might even benefit his career if his boss was going along.

In the professional world, you will have to face similar situations. Unfortunately, professional environments are some of the most challenging for those working through or around an addiction. Whether you’re in school or have a steady career, your addiction has undoubtedly made an impact on where you stand today. How you approach and handle your professional relationships can help or hinder your future success.

When dealing with professional relationships at school and work, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. You need to learn different ways to read the room and understand your current situation. At some point, you will have to decide how you are going to talk about your addiction in a professional setting. You need backup plans, and you also need to learn how to distance yourself from toxic coworkers or classmates.

You might also need to know if and when talking to someone higher up is necessary and how to tell if you need to start searching for a new job or school. Thinking through all these scenarios can feel overwhelming. However, if you are prepared and have thought about the majority of situations, you can safely navigate the professional world while avoiding issues relating to recovery and sobriety. This chapter will help you to prepare what strategy to take to ensure that you protect both your sobriety and your job.

Have you ever accomplished something by accident? I don’t mean winning the lottery either. I mean, have you ever set about to achieve a goal, and by some form of dumb luck, you managed to accomplish it? I’d imagine that most of you probably have not had this kind of experience, although it would be nice from time to time. Addiction is not one of those things in life that you should be relying on dumb luck to help you overcome. Quitting an active addiction takes a strong will, focus, and preplanning for you to be successful. This doesn’t even take into consideration the amount of effort you need to take to maintain recovery or sobriety.

As any good self-help course or coach will tell you, success comes from proper planning and preparation. While it may seem like people who are successful in achieving their goals get it all through luck or that one single break, we often only see the tip of the iceberg of work that went into that specific achievement. I believe that the same rings true for anyone that is breaking free from the chains of addiction.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed at the idea of getting sober, especially if you’ve been watching this course from the start. There are so many things to consider and actions to take that you might feel paralyzed. That’s why I didn’t place this lecture at the beginning of the course. When I first talked with other people about writing this book, they were confused as to why I wouldn’t start it with instructions on how to quit! By including this chapter later on, I’ve helped you understand what you must do to embrace recovery fully.

By learning about each component first, you will be in a better position to put together a long-term plan for success. According to Michigan State University, you are 33% more likely to meet your goals if you write them down. Furthermore, they believe the SMART method I outlined earlier in the course is one of the best approaches you can use, and they recommend adopting it. They suggest that, once you’ve set out your SMART goals, you use the following three questions to form a framework for continued action:

1. What activities do I need to complete to achieve my goal, and in what timeframe?

2. What resources do I need?

3. Who can help me achieve my goal?

Does this sound like what I told you in the lecture on detox? You haven’t lost your mind – you’re correct! However, we’re now talking about the final piece of the puzzle – your actual quit date. This chapter is all about how to set a quit date and addresses what you must do in the runup to the big day. This is an exciting time for you, and you should be eager to get started. I believe in you and your ability to make this happen and become a reality. The time is now!

Throughout this course, I’ve used the word “triggers” many times. You may be asking yourself, “What are triggers, and why should I care about them?” We’re going to spend an entire chapter understanding how triggers lead to relapse and how to keep them at bay.

There will come a time in your recovery journey where your feelings will make you want to relapse. Sometimes these triggers will come at you with no warning whatsoever. Sometimes these triggers are a normal part of your day-to-day life, and sometimes they are just there lurking around the corner waiting for you to trip up. The goal of managing triggers is to get you to a place where you can manage them without relapsing. I want to equip you with the tools, knowledge, and power to keep you safe and protect your sobriety. According to PsychCentral, a trigger is “something that sets off a memory tape or a flashback,” whereas Psychology Today suggests that a trigger is “anything that brings back thoughts, feelings, and memories that have to do with addiction.”

However you want to define the term, triggers have the potential to disrupt your carefully-built life of sobriety and recovery. A trigger can happen at a completely random time and result in you deciding to use or partake in your addiction again. Triggers generally come from one of your five senses, and you can often find them in common areas of your past life of addiction. The bad news? Almost anything can be a trigger.

Physical locations, for example, can be strong triggers for many people. If a place or location reminds you of your past (perhaps you even engaged in your addiction there), it can be triggering when you pass by or visit. Heck, even thinking about a triggering place can stimulate old neural pathways and emotional responses. You can’t really avoid these triggers either!

At first, triggers can seem like they are everywhere, and the psychic trauma, as I like to call it, of your past addiction can feel overwhelming. You’ve probably spent a long-time absorbing sights and sounds of triggering environments that remind you of your previous use and make you want to give in.

You need to learn how to handle a trigger without using. Unfortunately, you can’t get rid of the triggers entirely because they exist in your brain and mind. They will weaken over time, but they will always be with you.

Close your eyes and take a moment to imagine the following scenario. You’ve been addiction-free and in recovery now for a long time. Well, it’s only about six months but for you? It feels like a long time. The majority of the cravings have gone now, and you’ve followed The Sobriety Success Method pretty darn closely. Hooray! How do you feel? What words describe the emotions you’re feeling right now? Take a few moments to write about them. Depending on where you are now in your sobriety journey, this may or may not seem like a big deal. Regardless of how you feel about the achievement, be it six months or ten years, you must be careful, vigilant, and ready for a relapse.

It can be hard to know where to begin when unpacking the meaning and implications of the term “relapse.” In the world of addiction, it’s a loaded word. Having this discussion might seem strange in this context, since earlier in the book, I specifically said we’d be using The Sobriety Success Method to protect you from relapse. Relapse isn’t a dirty word, but I don’t want you to think it’s okay. Let’s just say it’s a tad complicated. This chapter will help you to understand that at some point, you will move into a maintenance mode for recovery and how you should approach it.

Initially, I was unsure whether to include this lecture. I considered making it a standalone bonus lecture or using it as announcement. At the time, I was reading several things that ultimately lead to my decision to include it in this course. Having spoken with many people with addictions over the years, I’ve come to understand that there is a latent desire or energy within them that’s linked to their addiction.

So often, I find and work with people who have tremendous amounts of focus and dedication, but they direct this energy to the wrong things. It takes massive levels of effort and determination to stay or become addicted to something. Yes, I understand that there is a genetic component to addiction. According to researchers, addiction has a “significant genetic component… it is estimated that 40–60% of the vulnerability to addiction can be attributed to genetic factors.” But, what if we could turn the tables a bit? What if, instead of directing that addiction towards dangerous actions and activities, we pointed it somewhere else?

As one of the earliest members of the Crisis Text Line, a suicide and crisis support line based in New York, I have personally worked in over 1,000 crisis situations. I know that sometimes life can get overwhelming even when you’re not dealing with addiction or recovery. When you start to throw in those two factors, it can become too much to deal with. If life ever gets you feeling this way, even for a moment or two, please seek out some support. You don’t have to use a specialist hotline, but I’d recommend you call one. The Crisis Text Line (text 741741) is one I’d suggest, along with National Suicide (1-800-784-2433). You can call 211 to speak with someone if you aren’t sure what kind of help you need. If you are outside the USA, you should make a list of the numbers in your area and keep them to hand.

There are all kinds of scenarios that can cause you to need or want to speak with someone other than your local support options. Reaching out for help is not weak; it’s a sign you are willing and brave enough to speak up. Life can get pretty dark out there at a moment’s notice, and these lines are staffed by trained professionals to help you understand the current situation you are in and offer advice or support.

These lines are designed to help in specific instances of crisis or thoughts of suicide. They are not a substitute for counseling sessions. Having worked with so many crises and suicide situations, I think it’s vital you connect with one if you ever start contemplating ending your life. Even if the thought is merely a quiet voice in the back of your mind and you think it might pass, don’t ignore it. Speak to a trained professional and get their take on it. People are often surprised to hear from someone who can provide advice that makes sense for their situation.

Each and every one of you is wonderful. I want to keep you here on this planet, fighting the good fight. I’ve known too many people that have died via suicide whose life may have changed if they had reached out.

Please take care of yourself.

“It’s time,” as my editor tells me. He’s talking about the end of the book and this chapter specifically. At this point in your journey, regardless if this is your first or fiftieth watch, is the start of something beautiful in your life. I’m not generally known for being much of a cheesy-one-liner kind of person, so using a cliché like this is a big deal for me. You must understand a few more concepts and ideas before we say goodbye.

For starters, your journey is always beginning anew, and it is beautiful. While we emphasize concepts like “One day at a time” and “Active recovery versus passive recovery” in the addiction community, I want you to know that the journey itself is often just as glorious. The ability to be in the moment and allow it to wash over you can be invigorating if you let it. Use your journal to capture moments of clarity and joy for what they are – key moments in your newfound sobriety.

People often ask me whether sobriety can be long-term. People want to know if they can ever go back to the life they once had or have a drink every now and again. To this question specifically, I say this: “No. You can’t go back to that life and nor should you want to. You left that life specifically because it was dangerous, destructive, and affected you in countless and perhaps invisible ways.”

Sobriety is a long-term decision that I want each and every one of you to undertake. It might be sobering to hear that you can’t return to something that once gave you joy, and I find that the human mind tends to gloss over the bad parts for just about everything in life. When we remember situations from ten years ago, it’s easy to play down the negative parts. You will be challenged in the coming years of your sobriety, and even when things are going well, the brain can cause you to second guess your decision-making abilities and make irrational choices according to research in the field of neuroscience.

But don’t worry, you aren’t doomed! I hope by now, you know that long-term sobriety is the aim and bedrock of the program I’ve developed for you. Your entire life should have been rebuilt now so that you don’t find yourself in compromising situations or having to second-guess your decisions on a regular basis. Be strong, be confident, and enjoy your newfound life. Keep returning back to this book when you need a refresher. Use it as a reference tool. And, if at any time you are questioning anything you’ve read, just drop me a message here.

I know you can do it.

This meditation encompasses multiple areas: your physical health, your social health and of course self-love. If you enjoy this meditation then check out my course titled, "Meditation for Addiction and Recovery."

Congratulations! Check out this bonus lecture for a special offer. (hint: free course!)

Welcome to Day 1 of 30 days to sobriety success! We're talking nutrition and healthy eating + how it impacts recovery.

Mastering your mental health is day 2 of 30 days to sobriety success. The ability to regulate thoughts, emotions and staying mentally strong is what sets you up for long term success.

Most peole don't realise just how much their family impacts their chances of a successful recovery. This is day 3 of 30 days to sobriety success.

Setting a quit date - is it really that important? YES! Find out why in day 4 of 30 days to sobriety success.

Ugh! The gym. It's the worst for most people but fitness is really important to a successful recovery. So, what can you do? Watch day 5 of 30 days to sobriety success.

Developing a deeper spiritual practice has been shown to support your addiction recovery journey. Watch day 6 of 30 days to sobriety success to find out more.

Sometimes your friend group can actually be really bad for your sobriety. Find out who the good friends and bad friends are and what to do about them in Day 7 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.

Does everyone relapse? What you need to know! This is day 8 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.

Did you know that work can be a major reason for struggling during sobriety? It's true! Welcome to day 9 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.

You made it! This is day 10 of 30 days to sobriety success and we're talking about people, places and things. You're going to love this one!

leep. We all need it and chances are you aren't getting enough of it. But... did you know it impacts your sobriety? Watch more in Day 11 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.

Intentional living is a powerful, powerful thing. It gives you complete dominion and domain over your life. Something you DEFINITELY need in sobriety. Day 12 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success. Think of this as your sobriety motivation!

If you want to succeed in being sober for the long term you have got to learn how to manage triggers like a FRIGGIN BOSS. You're watching day 13 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.

What on earth does H.A.L.T. mean and why should you be paying attention to it? Find out in Day 14 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success

Wait...why does keeing your home clean make any difference to your ability to get and stay sober? Keeping your living space clean has plenty of benefits. Let's dive in to 30 Days of Sobriety Success Day 15

Sugar. Look it isn't great for you under normal circumstances but when you're suffering from addiction it can be easy to succumb to its dangers. We'll talk through what these are in Day 16 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success ? Check out the Sobriety Success Program: https://lvrehab.me/sober ? Online coaching, courses and loads more: https://lvrehab.me/ ? Sobriety Success book on Amazon: https://lvrehab.me/h05Cs6 #sugar #addiction #addictionrecovery #liverehab #sobrietysuccess #getsober #soberfromhome

SHOW MORE

In Day 17 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success, we're examining the powerful activity of journaling. I really recommend to everyone that they journal regularly and here are some reasons why!

You've got to be mentally prepared and ready for sobriety. It's hard work to get and stay in recovery so preparing a strong mind is key to your success. To stop drinking alcohol you've got to think ahead.

Reading is a powerful way to up your personal understanding of life. Reading also helps you feel better too!

One persons crisis is not the same as another. So, how do you get crisis support in times of need? Who can you reach out to when your sober journey is under attack?

There are lots of ways to get help with your addiction and online addiction recovery programs have exploded thanks to the pandemic. But will an online support program actually help you?

Like the title of this video says, sometimes you just want to connect with someone in person. If that's you, then you need to do what is neccessary to make that happen. It's crucial for your recoveryso make an effort to ensure it becomes a reality.

Money. It's critically important in todays society and very important for anyone in recovery. Get your finances in order so you can start making real progress on your life goals.

Everyone today wants instant results. Social media has fueled us to believe that we can get everything we want in a short time. However, going slow and steady is the foundation of recovery from drug and alcohol or even porn abuse. ? Check out the Sobriety Success Program: https://lvrehab.me/sober ? Online coaching, courses and loads more: https://lvrehab.me/ ? Sobriety Success book on Amazon: https://lvrehab.me/h05Cs6 #slowsteady #addiction #addictionrecovery #liverehab #sobrietysuccess #getsober #soberfromhome

Grief comes in many different shapes and sizes. People often feel as though grief is just relegated to the loss of a loved one or a pet. Grief is actually more complex than that so lets dig in and find out how it affects addiction and recovery.

It's time to talk about how to be sober around drunk people and enjoy it. It's a hard topic to cover but you need to know what it will be like when you are having to spend time around other people who may be partaking in your addiction and you are in recovery.

Sobriety can be a dangerous thing - sometimes you find yourself trading one addiction for another. Find out why that's a potential problem in today's video.

What is a dry drunk and how do you know if you are one? Dry drunk behavior is commonplace in addiction and recovery.

What's the point of being sober? We get asked this question ALL the time.

t's the final day of our 30 Days to Sobriety Success series and it's the most important one - TAKE ACTION! That's right - none of this means ANYTHING if you can't or won't take the action needed. Isn't it time for you to get sober now?