The School of Self-Love

"Work is love made visible" - Kalib Gibran

THE 3 STAGES OF FREEDOM IN A CAPITALIST SOCIETY

In a world driven by capitalism, achieving true freedom can feel impossible. Yet, after years of struggle, I’ve lived by a system I created—three stages to freedom.

1. Find a job you love so you'll never have to work a day in your life. Pursue your passion, and let your work become a source of joy and fulfillment.

2. Buy a house and offer affordable housing to your friends. Let their rent pay your mortgage, freeing you from financial strain and allowing you to focus on more meaningful, impact-driven work.

3. Buy land, live off the grid, and create a community that uplifts society. Invest in sustainable living and generate income through community-led initiatives that benefit both the world and those around you. Now you are free and in service to humanity.

I’ve dedicated my life to this system, and it has paid off. Today, I am financially free, choosing work I love, with people I love.

I’ve lived on both sides—scarcity and abundance. As the son of immigrants, my father worked endlessly to pull us from poverty. Ironically, my life mirrored his in many ways. Hard work wasn’t just a lesson; it was my reality from age 13, working in my dad’s Indian restaurant. Education was my only escape from the small town of Bexhill. Born a creative, I was destined to be an artist, yet, to gain my parents' approval, I pursued graphic design—a path promising success and their love.

I excelled academically, but my true lessons came after. Returning from a year of travel, I was broke, jobless, and heartbroken—betrayed by the woman I loved and my best friend, in the very room I grew up in. Alone, abandoned by my parents, I moved to London, scraping by with menial jobs, stealing food just to survive. I hit rock bottom, sinking into depression and contemplating the end. But when my ex-fiance called, we tried again—only for me to catch her with another man that same night.

That betrayal became my turning point. From that darkness, I found a fierce determination to succeed. “Success is the best revenge” became my mantra. I hustled, knocking on doors in Brick Lane, earning a chance at a top design agency by sheer luck. But just as I was about to return to clinical trials for money, fate intervened. I was offered a freelance gig that paid far more than the trial—an opportunity that saved me from the notorious “Elephant Man Clinical Trials,” where participants suffered horrific deformities.

Within two years, I bought my first flat in London; eight years later, my second. Yet, as much as I craved a conventional life—a 9-to-5 job, a wife, children—I faced constant resistance.

Eventually, I found a different path: freelancing and polyamory, instead of full-time work and monogamy. I believed in myself when no one else did, and those dark moments became the fuel for my success.

Our purpose evolves, but our passion remains. I no longer work in advertising; instead, I found my true calling in Sacred Sexual Awakening. With over 50 million views across social media, I’ve discovered a passion that heals me and others. My life is now the canvas, and my purpose is human transformation and self-love.

Now I say "Be love, lead with the heart, and rise up like a Love Warrior."

So, you’ve heard my story— in the next chapter, let’s rewrite yours.

Below is the vision board I created in July 2015, a visual map of my journey to freedom. A few years later, I manifested almost all of it and became a co-founder of Coravida, a heart-inspired wellness center in Costa Rica—the land that was given to me.

"Alone we are beautiful, together we are Fabulus." 

- Old unicorn proverb

As I mentioned before, I am a Unicorn—more specifically, a Tantricorn—and the founding father of The Fabulus of Unicorns, which was once a global movement.

My first reality shift came at Burning Man in 2010. There, I glimpsed a new way of living—a realm of abundance and co-creation, where fear and scarcity were replaced by a moneyless society based on gifting. I was instantly hooked. Radical self-expression, one of Burning Man’s 10 Principles, awakened something deep within me. I found my power animal—a Unicorn! No longer was I the odd one out; I had discovered a society that mirrored my spirit. For the next seven years, I traveled the world as a hedonistic Lesbian Unicorn, reveling in this newfound freedom.

But it wasn’t until just before MidBurn 2014 in Jerusalem that everything crystallized. I channeled the 10 Principles of Unicornia, transforming them into a movement and a way of life. I took the lessons from the festival grounds and brought them into what Burners call “The Default World.” Why wait for one week of the year to be truly free when you can live in that freedom every day?

As a Unicorn, I am a symbol of freedom—freedom to live, freedom to love.

In 2014, my journey was captured by Vice, who followed me for a year. But by the time they started filming, I was in the midst of my 'Awakening,' a mental breakdown that would change everything. Their intent was to document the hedonistic, polyamorous Unicorns, but instead, they filmed my struggle to break free from addiction. The documentary received critical acclaim, becoming the first Vice film ever reviewed in The Guardian, and earning 4 stars in The Telegraph. It aired on channels across the globe, catapulting me to overnight celebrity status.

The 'Vice Unicorns' documentary has since become an old digital relic of my life, yet it sparked something powerful. It inspired many to embrace their inner Mythical, igniting a Unicorn aesthetic that has since spread across the collective consciousness. (Unicorns are everywhere still!)

Life today is very different for me addiction-free. You can witness this transformation in my Diaries of A Tantricorn Series 1,2,3 on my YouTube channel.

Exercise:

Create your own principles to live by.

Research other guiding principles—like Burning Man’s, the 12 Steps, or the 10 Commandments—and see what resonates with you.

I lived by the 10 Principles of Unicornia religiously, which guided millions of people. I then repackaged it for Tantra with my 10 Principles to your Sacred Sexual Awakening which reached even more millions of people in 2017! I’m not asking you to become a Unicorn or a Tantric Sex Guru; I’m asking you to be yourself.

The 10 Principles of Unicornia are in the next chapter if you are looking for inspiration.

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift that is why it is called the present." – Master Oogway

In a world that moves at the speed of light, we often find ourselves lost in the echoes of the past or the shadows of the future. We replay old memories, holding onto regrets, or anxiously anticipate what is yet to come. But the true essence of life—the pulse of genuine connection—exists only in the here and now.

To connect deeply with others, and more importantly, with ourselves, we must first anchor ourselves in the present. True connection isn’t forged in the fleeting thoughts of what might have been or what could be—it is born in the stillness of this moment, in the breath you take right now.

Exercise:

1. Pause and Breathe: Find a quiet space and take a deep breath. Feel the air fill your lungs, grounding you in the present moment. As you exhale, release any lingering thoughts of the past or worries about the future.

2. Be Here Now: Focus on what is around you—the sounds, the smells, the sensations. Let yourself fully experience the present without judgment or distraction. This is your gift, your “present.”

3. Connect from This Space: Now, think of someone you want to connect with—whether it’s a loved one, a friend, or even yourself. Approach this connection from a place of presence. Listen deeply, speak from the heart, and let go of any preconceived notions. Allow the conversation to unfold naturally, grounded in the now.

4. Reflect: After your interaction, take a moment to reflect and journal. How did being fully present change the way you connected? What did you notice that you might have missed if your mind was elsewhere?

Remember: True connection isn’t about the words we say or the actions we take—it’s about the presence we bring to each moment. When we live fully in the present, we open ourselves to the depth of connection that transcends time, allowing us to truly see and be seen.

Embrace the gift of today, and let it guide you to the connections that matter most.

Shut Up and Dance!

There’s a magic that happens when you let go of everything that holds you back and simply move. It’s not about getting the steps right, or even about the music—it’s about freedom. It’s about expressing the truth that lives in your body, a truth that words often can’t capture.

In the world of The Fabulus of Unicorns, dancing isn’t just a form of expression—it’s a way of life. It’s about shaking off the weight of the world, silencing the noise of self-doubt, and connecting with something deeper, something real. When you dance, you’re not just moving your body; you’re unleashing your spirit, embracing your power, and stepping into the full glory of who you are.

Exercise:

1. Find Your Groove: Choose a song that resonates with your soul. It doesn’t matter if it’s fast or slow, as long as it moves you.

2. Let Go: Find a space where you can be free from judgment—whether it’s your living room, a forest, or a beach. Close your eyes, feel the rhythm, and let your body move in whatever way it wants. Don’t think, just dance.

3. Release: As you dance, imagine all the fear, all the doubt, and all the negative energy leaving your body. With every movement, you’re shedding layers of insecurity, stepping closer to your true self.

4. Reflect: After you’ve danced, sit down and write about the experience. What did you feel? What did you let go of? What new truths did you discover about yourself?

Remember: Life isn’t about holding back—it’s about diving in, full-heartedly, and letting the music guide you to a place of joy, freedom, and self-expression. So shut up, stop worrying, and dance like the fabulous being you are. The world is your dance floor—own it!

Love Your Body!

Your body is incredible—it’s the only one you have, yet how often do you truly appreciate it?

What is your relationship with your body?

Take a moment, write this down, and see how it makes you feel.

For so long, society has tried to own our bodies, dictating how we should look, how we should feel, and even how we should live within our own skin. From the moment we are born, we are bombarded with images of so-called perfection—advertising and media selling us a false ideal, convincing us that we are not enough as we are. But there is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect in your uniqueness, in your flaws, in your raw, unfiltered beauty.

For years, I struggled to love my own body. Genital mutilation left deep scars—not just on my body, but on my soul. This violation led me into addiction, as I tried to numb the pain, to escape the feeling of being broken. I was sick all the time, my health deteriorating as I spiraled further into self-loathing. But then I discovered Tantra—a practice that taught me to reconnect with my body, to honor it as sacred.

Through Tantra, I began to heal, not just from illness, but from the emotional wounds that had kept me trapped for so long. I learned that true healing doesn’t come from altering our bodies to fit society’s ideals, but from embracing them, scars and all, as the vessels of our true selves.

To love your body is to reclaim it from the grip of society. It is to nourish it with healthy food, to move it joyfully through dance, to let it play and rest and feel pleasure. Your body is not an object to be perfected; it is a vessel for your spirit, a partner in your life’s journey.

Exercise:

Write down what your current relationship with your body is.

Be honest.

How do you feel about your body?

How has society influenced that relationship?

What have you been taught to believe about your body, and how does that align with how you want to feel?

Homework: Take yourself on a Self-Love Date. This is a day dedicated to your body, mind, and spirit. Begin with a nourishing meal, something that feels good and fuels your body. Then, do something physical that brings you joy—whether it’s dancing in your living room, going for a walk in nature, or practicing yoga.

Finally, spend time pampering your body: take a long bath, give yourself a massage, and make love to yourself as instructed in the video, focusing on gratitude for all that your body does for you.

Remember: Loving your body is an act of rebellion against a world that profits from your insecurities. It is a declaration of self-worth, a promise to treat your body with the care, respect, and love it deserves. Embrace your body, and in doing so, you embrace your true self.

"You must unlearn what you have learned" - Yoda

True connection with others begins within. Before we can open our hearts fully to those around us, we must first open our hearts to ourselves. This journey inward often means confronting the stories we’ve been telling ourselves—the narratives of pain, rejection, and fear that keep us locked in old patterns. It means unlearning the habits and beliefs that no longer serve us and releasing the grip of the past so that we can step into the fullness of who we truly are.

I’ve experienced profound shifts in my life as I’ve let go of these old stories. I’ve released the chains of addiction, depression, loneliness, and toxic relationships. I’ve faced the deep wounds of childhood—the mummy and daddy issues that shaped my fears and insecurities. I’ve even redefined my relationship with money, moving from scarcity to abundance.

Each time I forgave myself, I unlocked a new level of freedom. Each time I released the past, I made room for more love, more joy, and more connection. This isn’t about erasing what’s happened; it’s about integrating those experiences with compassion, loving the person you’ve been, and nurturing the person you are becoming. It’s about holding your inner child—who has carried these wounds for so long—and telling them it’s okay to let go.

Exercise: Forgiveness as a Path to Connection

1. A Journey Inward: Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths, grounding yourself in the present moment. As you breathe, visualize a gentle light surrounding you, protecting and nurturing your heart.

2. Connect with Your Inner Child: Imagine yourself as a child. Picture this younger version of you, standing before you, holding the weight of old wounds—fear, rejection, hurt. Notice the emotions in your inner child’s eyes, the burdens they carry. Allow yourself to feel compassion for this child who has endured so much.

3. A Conversation with the Past: Speak to your inner child, either silently or out loud. Acknowledge the pain they’ve carried and the stories that have shaped their life. Now, gently tell them it’s time to let go. It’s time to forgive—both yourself and those who may have hurt you. Say the words, “I forgive you,” and allow that forgiveness to wash over both of you.

4. Release and Renew: Visualize the old stories, the patterns, and the pain dissolving into the light. Feel the weight lifting from your heart. As the past melts away, imagine your inner child transforming—becoming lighter, happier, more playful. Hold this vision of your inner child in their newfound freedom.

5. Welcome the Future: Now, bring your awareness back to yourself as you are now. Feel the space within you that has been cleared, the room that has been made for new experiences, new connections. Know that by forgiving yourself, you’ve opened the door to deeper, more authentic connections with others.

6. Affirmation of Release: End this exercise by repeating this affirmation: “I am free from the past. I forgive myself and others. I am open to love and connection.”

7. Reflect and Journal: After completing this exercise, take some time to journal about your experience. What came up for you during the process? How did it feel to connect with your inner child? What old stories or patterns did you release? Write about your vision for future connections and how forgiveness has opened the door for new relationships, both with yourself and others.

Remember: Forgiveness is not a one-time act; it’s a practice. Each time you forgive, you peel away another layer of old stories, allowing your true self to shine brighter. The more you connect with and love yourself, the more you’ll find that others are drawn to connect with the real you—not the you that carries the past, but the you that lives fully in the present.

Self-Love Starts at Home

Our relationships with our parents are the first, most profound connections we experience in life. They shape not only how we relate to others but also how we understand ourselves.

From these relationships, we learn what it means to give and receive love, to trust, to feel secure—or, conversely, to fear, to doubt, and to withdraw. These early bonds are the blueprint for how we navigate the world, and they deeply influence the masculine and feminine energies within us.

Psychology teaches us that our parents are our first role models. They embody the primary examples of masculine and feminine energy, regardless of gender. These energies exist within all of us—masculine energy often manifests as logic, strength, and assertiveness, while feminine energy is associated with intuition, nurturing, and compassion. When these energies are in balance, we are more likely to feel whole, confident, and secure in ourselves.

But what happens when the examples we grow up with are out of balance? If a father is emotionally distant or overly critical, we may struggle with our own masculine energy, feeling disconnected from our inner strength or overly critical of ourselves.

If a mother is overly controlling or neglectful, we may find it difficult to nurture ourselves or trust our intuition. These imbalances can lead to patterns of behavior that limit our capacity for self-love and authentic connection.

On a personal note, I spent much of my life wrestling with the intense and often conflicting energies within myself. My relationship with my parents was marked by a volatile mix of love and pain. My father, a man who stood tall in our community as the one who called the faithful to prayer at the local mosque, was a figure of fear in our home. His temper was as fierce as his faith, and violence was a language he spoke too often. I longed for his approval, but what I received instead were blows—physical and emotional.

My mother, on the other hand, was a force of nature—fierce, overbearing, and unyielding. Her love was expressed through control, and her discipline was often harsh. As a rebellious child, I was frequently on the receiving end of her wrath, her hands delivering punishment that was both swift and painful. She was a woman who ruled our home with an iron fist, and in her attempts to mold me, she often crushed my spirit.

It wasn’t until I began to consciously heal these relationships that I understood how deeply they affected my sense of self. I realized that to love myself fully, I had to first acknowledge and heal the wounds these imbalances created. I had to build a new relationship with the masculine and feminine energies within me—learning to embrace my inner strength while also nurturing my vulnerability.

Exercise:

1. Reflect on Your Relationships: Take some time to reflect on your relationship with your mother, then with your father. Write down your thoughts and feelings honestly. Consider how these relationships have shaped your understanding of masculine and feminine energy. How do these energies show up in your life today? Are they in balance, or do you feel more connected to one than the other?

   
   

2. What You Needed to Hear: Now, write down what you wished your parents had said to you. What words of love, encouragement, or support did you long to hear from them? These are the words your inner child still needs.

   
   

3. Nurture Your Inner Child: I invite you to hold yourself gently for three minutes, as though you are comforting that little boy or girl within you. Close your eyes, and softly speak those words to your inner child. Send them the love and reassurance they’ve always needed. Feel the warmth and compassion as you nurture that part of yourself.

   
   

Homework:

• Reach Out to Your Mother: Call your mother and say,

  “I just wanted to ring you and say thank you and sorry for the way I have acted and I want to get to know you, tell me about you.”

• I often ask what they were up to when they were my age.

  
  

• Reach Out to Your Father: Later in the day, call your father and say, “I just wanted to ring you and say thank you and sorry for the way I have acted and I want to get to know you, tell me about you.”

• I often ask what they were up to when they were my age.

BONUS:

1. Only for the Brave: Reach out to your parents and ask them to say these words back to you. This step requires courage, but it can be profoundly healing to hear those words from the people who shaped you. Whether or not they can fully deliver, the act of asking can open new paths to connection and understanding. When this is done in real life this is far more healing.

Remember: Healing these relationships is not about changing the past, but about creating a new present and future.

By understanding and mending the bonds with your parents, you lay the groundwork for deeper self-love and balance. As you do this, you’ll find that your capacity to love yourself and others expands, leading to richer, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of your life. The journey begins at home, with the first loves we ever knew.

"What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create." - Buddha

As you stand on the threshold of this new chapter, take a moment to breathe in the journey you’ve already begun. You’ve released the old stories that once held you back, those heavy narratives that kept you anchored to a past that no longer serves you. With each lesson, you’ve peeled away the layers, revealing the true essence of who you are—a being of limitless potential, capable of creating a life beyond your wildest dreams.

This course has been a process of letting go, of forging a new path paved with self-love, forgiveness, and deep connection. Now, with your heart open and your spirit unburdened, it’s time to step fully into the life that awaits you. The life that you are not just dreaming of, but actively creating with every thought, every feeling, and every intention.

This is your moment to imagine beyond the boundaries of what you once thought possible. To see your dreams not as distant hopes, but as the inevitable outcomes of the love and purpose you now embody. You are no longer bound by the past—you are the creator of your future.

Are you ready to embrace this new path? To live a life that not only meets your dreams but surpasses them in ways you’ve yet to imagine? The journey continues, and it’s leading you to a life more extraordinary than you’ve ever dared to dream.

Exercise: Journal - Embracing Your New Path

Reflect on the journey you’ve begun. As you stand on the threshold of this new chapter, take a deep breath and acknowledge your growth. In your journal, consider the following:

1. Release and Reveal: What old stories have you let go of? How has shedding these layers revealed your true potential? Write about the new sense of possibility you feel within.

2. Forge Your Path: How has embracing self-love, forgiveness, and connection opened your heart? Describe how this has changed your relationship with yourself and others.

3. Visualize Your Future: Imagine the life you’re actively creating. What does it look like? How does it feel to step into your power as the creator of your future? Write about the dreams that now feel within reach.

4. Commit to Your Journey: Are you ready to live a life beyond your wildest dreams? Write down your intentions and how you will continue to embrace this new path, letting go of the past and stepping fully into your potential.

Let these reflections guide you as you continue to create a life filled with love, purpose, and boundless possibility.

The Most Powerful Mantra in the World

"I love my life, I love my body, I love myself." —Shaft Uddin

Congratulations! You’ve reached the end of this journey, but in truth, this is just the beginning of a much greater adventure—one that leads you back to your true, authentic self. Take a moment to pause and reflect: How does your head feel? How does your heart feel? Have you been able to cultivate more self-love in your life?

Here's a little checklist to keep on working on:

I Love My Life: Find your Purpose and love what you do every day.

I Love My Body: You only have one body. Love it every day and learn to unlock its infinite potential.

I Love Myself: Find inner peace every day and know that you are enough.

We are all on our own journeys, traveling at our own pace. There is no competition, only co-creation. There is no scarcity, only abundance. There is no fear, only love.

The School of Self-Love is more than a course; it’s a movement. Love Warriors are rising up every day, joining a global awakening.

I’m here to guide you, not to mold you into a version of me, a unicorn, or even a ‘tantric sex guru’ or polyamorous. I’m here to encourage you to be yourself—fully, authentically, unapologetically.

You were born with a unique gift, and by being more of who you truly are, you have the power to change the world.

So, step out into the world and live like never before. Embody love, lead from the heart, speak your truth, and share this sacred mantra with those around you.

Exercise: HERES YOUR DAILY MANTRA

For the next 40 days, commit to saying this mantra 108 times each day: “I love my life, I love my body, I love myself.”

But don’t just say the words—feel them. Let each repetition resonate deep within you, filling every corner of your being with love and affirmation.

This is your daily mantra. And know that somewhere, over the rainbow, on some dance floor in an exotic location, in a tantic transformational community, we are all supporting each other—finding our passion and purpose through divine pray and divine play.

Always be fabulous to one another.

I love you.

I thank you.

I set you free.

A very old old old video with my BBC interview.

There were so many more with Vice, The Guardian etc.... I was very passionate about my passions.