The Leader's Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Welcome to Module 2! In this lesson we will take a look at the topics we will cover in this Module.

Humans perceive situations in their own unique way and learn best using different methods. Our understanding of intelligence, and how people learn has evolved over time.

For this discussion, I am going to introduce to you a number of ways we have quantified intelligence, described intelligence, and summarize some different theories on intelligence. All of this is to frame our discussion of Emotional Intelligence going forward.

In lesson three, I spend some time defining Emotional Intelligence (EI), and how we compare it with cognitive intelligence, so that we are on the same page with our understanding and vocabulary heading into the remaining modules.

EI and EQ are not necessarily interchangeable, although you may find them misused in other online articles. Throughout this course, I will refer to EQ as a measurement of someone’s Emotional Intelligence.

In this lesson, we dive deeply into the EQ-i Model of Emotional Intelligence. Recall from our brief history lesson, that this model was originally conceived of by emotional intelligence researcher, Reuven Bar-On.

The Self Perception Composite connects with “how we see ourselves” from the 5 Domains of Understanding. It can be very revealing and somewhat entertaining to explore our self-perception, and you have an opportunity to do so in the workbook exercise for this lesson.

The Self Expression Composite explore the EQ subscales, or skills, that relate to how you communicate your internal world (what's going on inside your head) to others.

The Interpersonal Composite is about much more than just your perception of your relationships with others. Influences such as your level of empathy, your communication skills, and respect of others’ point of view play into your interpersonal journey.

As the name suggests, the Decision Making Composite relates to how we go about making decisions. Leaders who tend to avoid difficult emotional situations, often delay the tough calls that need to be made. Developing skills in reality testing and impulse control, can help us view the problem from various angles and points of view, helping us approach the difficult decisions more objectively. Can you think of a decision you put off making because of the strong emotions you have attached to the outcome of that decision?

As we conclude our discussion of the composites within the EQ-i model, I suspect you are beginning to notice a pattern. Too much of one element of a composite (what we will refer to as a “subscale”) can have negative and far-reaching consequences, just as too little of that same element could also have negative effects. In a later lesson, we discuss the importance of balance and finding that happy medium in more detail.

Why did we spend time on the vocabulary? Why develop a model for Emotional Intelligence at all? Find out why, and how we will utilize what you have learned about the model going forward in the course.

By naming something, such as the components in this model, you can identify it, have a discussion around it, and go to work on it. You will also start to recognize behaviors and reactions that come up in your day-to-day activities in yourself and others. It’s pretty powerful, and will lead to many “ah-ha” moments when you start to recognize demonstrations of the subscales.

We hear a lot about work-life balance and the importance of emotional well-being. In the previous lessons, I introduced you to the fifteen subscales within the EQ-i model, and you started to detect a pattern – one that implies you should neither demonstrate levels of one subscale as too high or too low. Learn about the “dark side of strengths” in this lesson, and methods we use to work towards balancing the subscales.

If the role of a leader is to get the work done by working with and through the people they lead, what are some of the challenges leaders encounter when there is a lack of balance? This lesson focuses on real examples of balancing subscales to achieve effective results.

In my years of doing this work, I have never observed a completely balanced profile. After reviewing this lesson, my hope is you are beginning to understand the work that needs to be done in striving towards balance and how this work can support your effective leadership.

Keep the workbook out for this lesson. The table on page 12 will serve as a great reference for you as I review what we have learned thus far and introduce the balancing subscales homework in this short lesson.

In Module 3, we begin connect the dots and put the emotional intelligence gained in the preceding modules into practice.

Have you ever worked with a personal trainer? Even if you have not worked with one in the physical realm, you still may have some experience developing meaningful and attainable goals. This lesson delves into why goals and practice are so important to personal as well as physical growth.

As you may know from other goals and practice you may have in your life, it’s helpful if you can find someone to check in with, and hold you accountable. Is there someone in your circle with whom you could take this journey and ask for feedback?

Each new year, we often create a list (written or mental) of our “New Years’ Resolutions”. But do we stick to them? Why are some resolutions met and others not achieved? It may be because we lack skill in setting meaningful and achievable goals!

Consider how well the goals you are setting now, or goals you may have set in past, adhere to the SMART goal standard. Might you have more success meeting these goals if they do adhere to this program?

You will recall the 15 subscales were described in detail from module 2. If you need to refer back to those lessons – they are available to you. The workbook also includes summaries of each. In this lesson we are connecting subscales to your personal goal you have just identified in the previous lesson. Using the model as a guide, identify subscales that you think are most aligned with your goal. There is a copy of the EQ-i model in your workbook for reference.

This lesson invites you to assess yourself, and then to reach out for feedback. You may feel confident that you know yourself well. However, it can be very informative to have an outside perspective as you to work on subscales related to your goal.

Do you consider yourself to be a keen observer? In this lesson I will ask you to exercise your powers of observation, becoming more closely attuned to behaviors in yourself and others.

I can’t emphasize enough how much my personal journaling practice has shaped my leadership. If you can develop a solid habit of journaling, the ability to: look back on your development, find previous solutions that have and have not worked, and detect patterns, informs your leadership growth.

Are you content with the way things are? Content with the status quo? I am guessing that you are thirsty for positive change. That said, let this thirst be the driving force behind the work you will be doing in the next few lessons.

Now that you have identified your goal, select just one subscale from the EQ-i model that you would like to work on to support your goal.

Let’s take a deeper look at developing your actions. I’ll also provide some examples, and then you will have an opportunity to refine some of the ideas you may have been considering from the previous lesson.

Remember as you are working on the potential activities or actions you plan to take in your development plan – smaller is better! If your actions planned are reasonable and achievable within the next two weeks, you’re on the right track.

“The best activities are those that are related to the subscale you are looking to develop and that are also contextually relevant and appropriate.”

At this point, you are most likely working on the small micro-actions you identified in the previous lessons. While you are working on these, I want to discuss some factors that could be diminishing your ability to operate at peak emotional effectiveness.

Did the hectic scenario sound familiar? We all have those days. To the extent you can avoid elements that contribute to less-than-desirable results, the more effective you will be on a day-to-day basis.

What are some of the factors that influence how you “show up” as a leader? In this lesson I want you to become more aware of these factors, and to understand the difference between what you are fully capable of, and what you may be demonstrating and why.

Can you identify recent examples where stress caused you to react or perform in a less-than-optimal way? Practice identifying when you are becoming reactive, and try out a different stress management technique this week. Experiment. Find a technique that works well for you.

Part of being an emotionally effective leader is staying present. The factors I mention in these two lessons impact your potential peak performance and ability to be clear and present. It’s really up to you to weigh lifestyle, health, business and family, in pursuit of balance. Isn’t that the human condition? You are not alone in this, we all have our demons to contend with in our continuous pursuit of life in harmony.

Keeping things in perspective and being realistic about what impacts your EQ is just part of being emotionally intelligent enough to recognize when our EQ is being impacted. Here, I offer some final thoughts on my experience with balance and moderation.

Well done! We have covered a lot of material in this course, and I know that you will find that once you recognize the elements of emotional intelligence in yourself in others, you can’t NOT see it on a daily basis. What you do with this knowledge is up to, but it is my sincere hope you will continue to use the program both for your professional and in your personal life.

Again, if you have any questions about the material, or would like further training, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me directly.

Email: drew@eqdevgroup.com