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The Zen of Asking: Powerful Questions to Change Your Life
Rating: 5.0 out of 5(5 ratings)
20 students

The Zen of Asking: Powerful Questions to Change Your Life

Master questioning skills for communication, coaching & leadership - self-discovery through Japanese Zen wisdom
Created byMihiro Matsuda
Last updated 7/2026
English
English [Auto],

What you'll learn

  • Ask powerful questions that open hearts and spark insight - even if you're not naturally good at speaking
  • Apply the Three Rules of the Magic Question to turn everyday conversations into moments of trust
  • Use the Champagne Tower Principle to stop sacrificing yourself and care for others from a full glass
  • Discover your dreams and what you truly want through simple daily self-questioning
  • Inspire and motivate your team as a leader who asks instead of tells
  • Increase your sales naturally by understanding what your clients really need
  • Deepen your relationships - with your spouse, your children, and the people who matter most

Course content

2 sections • 68 lectures • 4h 13m total length

  • Let me introduce myself1:27

    Explore the power of asking questions through the magic question, guided by Hiro Matsuda as a space creator and life traveler who trains educators and students worldwide.

  • Way of being rather than technique1:44

    Cultivate a powerful mindset and way of being to make your questions effective, focusing on how you show up rather than just what you ask.

  • The Champagne Tower Principle2:07

    practice the champagne tower principle by filling your own glass first, then overflow energy to family, colleagues, and customers, avoiding burnout and sustaining care.

  • The Champagne Tower Principle, Part 22:33

    Learn the self-sustaining champagne tower by filling yourself from within. Prioritize the first four levels—you, family, friends and coworkers, and clients—before serving society.

  • Three Rules of the Magic Question3:21

    Embrace three rules of the magic question to transform your practice: every answer is the right answer, it's okay if you don't have an answer, and we accept all answers.

  • Making the Unconscious Conscious2:28

    Asking questions brings the unconscious into awareness, enabling conscious choices and action. A daily question helps you stay focused on your own life, not someone else’s.

  • Giving3:49

    Embrace a giving mindset to shape how you ask questions and interact with others. Nurture yourself to give through small, thoughtful acts that make others happy and invite positive reciprocity.

  • Remove the frame3:32

    Let go of mental boxes and adopt a neutral, maybe mindset when asking questions, swapping shoulds with possibilities to unlock new insights and shifts in behavior.

  • Not afraid to be seen2:38

    Let go of how you're seen to ask better, more direct questions. The lesson explains the champagne tower principle and how self-worth stays separate from your questions.

  • I Believe 100%: Going Deeper2:49

    Learn to trust others a hundred percent by recognizing doubt in everyday questions and coaching moments. Practice small, intentional acts of trust to strengthen work and family relationships.

  • Letting Go of Expectations2:35

    Let go of expectations to improve how you ask questions and trust responses. Embrace three rules: they can answer, they don't have to answer, and either way is okay.

  • Waiting3:17

    Develop waiting as a deliberate skill when asking questions, fostering patience, presence, space for thoughtful responses, and mindful body language that invites better outcomes.

  • Focus on the Present2:46

    Focus on the present to turn current actions into a better future, and break goals into small, specific steps by asking what can I do today.

  • Find a good point2:12

    Prepare before asking by finding the good in the other person, spotting what they do well, and committing to at least 10 positive observations to guide your questions.

  • Find the same place3:02

    Find common ground before asking questions to build trust and stronger relationships, then broaden categories from specific interests to general themes, and practice this in daily interactions.

  • Small Compliments3:02

    Learn how small compliments can transform relationships by moving from acknowledging to complimenting, and start a daily practice of noticing positives to strengthen work and home connections.

  • The clue is in the past2:02

    Look to your past for hints on what to ask yourself; reflect on who you were, what you enjoyed, and your feelings, then ask meaningful questions to move forward.

  • Share your feelings1:45

    Share your feelings to build closer connections and reduce miscommunications; create space for emotional openness, making questions and conversations more meaningful.

  • How you want to be seen2:15

    Explore how the urge to be seen shapes choices, undermines authentic questions, and fuels approval seeking, and consider the core question: how do you want to be seen?

  • Let's Practice the Magic Question2:37

    Practice asking 'really?' in three steps—choose a theme, list actions, and question each item—to ensure you truly want to do what you plan.

  • Find out what you do unconsciously2:11

    Identify your unconscious habits and bring them into awareness to transform negative patterns into positive routines, whether scrolling your phone, snacking at work, or dessert after meals.

  • Let go of your thoughts2:28

    Let go of overthinking by feeling with your heart and engaging your five senses, then compare heart-based and logic-based choices to decide what you want moving forward.

  • Find the facts3:58

    Master the difference between facts and opinions by practicing objective reasoning, using specific data like temperatures, and framing information with who, what, when, and where.

  • Breathe out and let go of your thoughts1:36

    Learn to exhale on purpose to quiet racing thoughts, shift from head to heart, and create a simple daily breathing habit before making important decisions.

  • How to Use "Why"1:39

    Use the why question to uncover the real reason behind a hesitant yes, reflect on underlying thoughts, and dig deeper to reveal root issues in coaching conversations.

  • I believe 100%1:54

    Learn to trust others wholeheartedly in work and life, replace doubt with belief, walk alongside them, ask supportive questions, and foster open, honest conversations.

  • Let go of your expectations2:50

    Let go of expectations, especially with loved ones, and practice waiting—avoiding time-based deadlines and offering space instead of advice to focus on the other person.

  • Listen to what they have to say2:00

    Listen to what they have to say and use questions as tools to help them discover their own answers, sometimes choosing not to ask.

  • Know the depth of their words3:27

    Explore how words move people and learn to read beyond the surface by focusing on the intention behind what others say, not just the words themselves.

  • Improve your sense rather than your technique2:22

    Develop your sense over skill by exposing yourself to great examples and actively producing work. Answering good questions sharpens your sense and shows how to apply skill.

  • Focus on the Present: Practice2:57

    Focus on the present moment to ask better questions, letting a plan guide you without controlling the flow; stay attentive, improvise, and listen fully in every conversation.

  • Let's work on the nuts and bolts2:49

    Develop questioning skills through consistent, small daily practice—start with ten minutes a day and keep going for 100 days or more.

  • Let's grow up2:29

    Shift from chasing perfection to nurturing growth by polishing strengths and aligning goals in love or work. Ask questions with the intention to nurture and help others grow.

Requirements

  • No prior experience needed — this course is perfect for beginners.

Description

Change your life with just one question.


May I ask you something first?


Are you good at asking questions?


If your honest answer is "not really," that's completely natural. Most of us were never taught how to ask good questions — not at school, not at work.


Yet here is a surprising fact: we ask ourselves more than 30,000 questions a day, mostly without noticing. "Why did I mess up again?" "What should I do now?" The quality of these inner questions quietly shapes our decisions, our relationships — our whole lives.


So instead of struggling for better answers, what if you simply learned to ask better questions?


What becomes possible


When the way you ask changes, things around you begin to shift:


- Conversations flow, even if you're not naturally talkative

- Your team feels inspired and starts moving on its own

- Your child opens up and shows their true potential

- Your relationship with your spouse or partner becomes warmer

- Sales grow naturally, because you truly understand your clients

- And above all — you rediscover what you really want in life


Who will guide you


Hello, I'm Mihiro Matsuda, a Question Artist from Japan.


For nearly 20 years, I've been sharing the power of questions through lectures and seminars around the world. Along the way, I've written more than 70 books, my newsletter reaches 160,000 readers, and over 5,000 instructors have been certified in my questioning methods.


This course distills all of that experience into simple practices you can start today.


What's inside


- The Champagne Tower Principle — why filling your own glass first is the kindest thing you can do for others

- The Three Rules of the Magic Question — the foundation of every question that opens hearts

- How to listen so that people feel safe to speak

- Small daily questions to discover your dreams and what truly matters to you


Each lesson is short (2-4 minutes), so you can learn one idea at a time — on the train, over coffee, whenever you find a quiet moment.


What learners say


One student wrote about the Champagne Tower Principle: "Taking care of myself is actually the way to make those around me happy." (5 stars)


A bilingual bonus


This course includes the complete English version plus the original Japanese version (2 hours 49 minutes). If you're learning Japanese — or simply want to feel the atmosphere of the original teaching — it's yours as a bonus.


No risk to try


This course comes with Udemy's 30-day money-back guarantee. If it doesn't resonate with you, you'll get a full refund.


Shall we begin?


What is the one question that could change your life?


Let's find it together.


— Mihiro Matsuda


A note on the audio: To make Mihiro's teaching accessible in English, the English narration uses AI voice technology, carefully supervised by the author himself.

Who this course is for:

  • Leaders who want to motivate their team
  • Parents who want to draw out their child’s potential
  • Coaches or therapists seeking deeper client insights
  • Educators who want to foster curiosity and dialogue
  • Salespeople who want to build trust and boost results
  • Individuals seeking more meaningful relationships
  • Anyone who feels stuck and wants to discover their dreams

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