Dating Advice for Women: Get Ready for a Great Relationship!
4.6 (25 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
843 students enrolled

Dating Advice for Women: Get Ready for a Great Relationship!

Want to be happy and save yourself from pain and regrets? The secret you must know revealed!
4.6 (25 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
843 students enrolled
Last updated 4/2015
English [Auto-generated]
Current price: $20.99 Original price: $29.99 Discount: 30% off
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This course includes
  • 3 hours on-demand video
  • 12 articles
  • 7 downloadable resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
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What you'll learn
  • Learn the secrets of great dating relationships
  • Avoid stress, pain, and regrets from bad dating decisions
  • Get dating & relationship advice that creates happiness
  • Set meaningful relationship goals for dating
  • Develop new dating habits that will ensure your success
  • To successfully take this course, you need to be sick and tired of being heart-broken in your dating relationships & ready for a positive change.

LATEST: Course updated again with new video lectures in April 2015

Welcome to the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! Here we talk about how to date successfully, whether it's online dating or traditional dating. I provide simple dating advice and relationship tips that can literally transform your life, if you apply them properly and consistently. From love, sex, dating, and relationships to conflict resolution and self-respect --- my dating tips for women and love advice are less focused on "how do I find love", and more on "how do I become a good date to be able to find a good date"… We will focus on finding  harmony and joy in relationships. That's what determines dating success.




Get ready for a great dating relationship, save yourself from stress, pain, and regrets! Start today, immediately, like my 800+ students!

Have you ever experienced pain and regrets associated with bad relationship mistakes made when chemistry overpowers your character decrement? You know that Mr. or Mrs. Right that everyone told you to avoid but you couldn't keep your hands off the person? That's what this course is all about… See how I got myself out of relational misery and frustration and have a happy life. You can have it, too!


Have you been suffering from relational pain, regrets, confusion, disappointment, or maybe even abuse? I know what it feels like, trust me, and I want to save you some pain, that's why I created this course!

Experience is what enables me to relate to your struggles and help you step-by-step. If you want to learn how to avoid awful relationships and how to build awesome relationships, this course has been created with you in mind.

It will help you create a positive shift in your relationships and change your life!


The skills you will develop during this course include:

  • Establishing good character discernment

  • Creating new relational thinking patterns

  • Avoiding relationships that destroy you and your life

  • Finding and building healthy, meaningful relationships that enrich your life

During this course you'll learn how to:

  • Learn the secrets of great dating relationships

  • Avoid stress, pain, and regrets from bad dating decisions

  • Get dating & relationship advice that creates happiness

  • Set meaningful relationship goals for dating

  • Develop new dating habits that will ensure your success

How will you learn?

In this course you won't get bored, I promise! In addition to the 19 video lectures where I personally talk to you face-to-face, to help you practice new concepts and apply new skills, I created multiple assessments, quizzes, exercises, checklists, guides, and much more!

Plus, I'm always available to answer your questions through a discussion board or private messages as well as on Twitter and Facebook.

The most important thing is that with the way I structured this course for you, there will be a chance to learn something new, test what you've learned, develop a skill, and practice it, and so you have clarity later, there are checklists to help you remember the most important things as you apply new knowledge in your everyday life. It's gonna be fun :-)

Why is this course important to you?

Because when you discover your power within, you unleash your ability to create your own best reality and future. Are you ready? The more you wait, the more you miss out on the opportunity to create long-lasting fulfillment and happiness in YOUR relationships and life.

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E N D O R S E M E N T S . . .

People who got to preview the content of this course early say

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"Mothers tell your daughters" - Jennifer Procopio

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"As a single professional woman I can relate to this 100%. It is easy to fall into relationships that led us to feel “distracted, forgetful, incapable, unable, lost, unfocused, insecure, or confused", and what is sad about this is that sometimes we don't even see it or admit it. Sometimes in the name of LOVE, we open ourselves to anything, not knowing it can hurt us…" - Johanna Pinto

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"Anna, this is information that can help many! Our relationship choices absolutely create the largest domino effects in our lives! Thank you for sharing this!" - Debbie Dickerson

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"Anna. You have brought attention to a real, confronting issue that will be helpful, im sure, to many people out there who are having their self-esteem subtley eroded by people who like to take the best in you in order to boost themselves & their own insecurities. You have hit the nail on the head with this…" - Betty Anne Kerr

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"I think you are bringing to women's attention one of the most valuable lessons in life. I think women will really benefit from your tips and the fact that you are sharing, open heart, your personal story…" - Lisa Toniolo

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"Yes, this does feel more than just a little familiar. Thank you, Anna." - Joelle S. Bailard, JD., PH.D.

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"Research shows relationships have a direct affect on career: earning power, promotions, job satisfaction and fulfillment... and of course how you feel at home. Life's too short to be unhappy -- or to allow someone else to make you unhappy." - Jeff Haden

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"Thank you for sharing some of your personal journey and lessons learned Anna." - Lorene Schaefer, Esq.


I M P O R T A N T . . .

This brand-new course is for single women who want to have great, healthy, happy, awesome, fulfilling relationships while avoiding awful relationships that cause pain, regrets, abuse, financial trouble, career failure, and even worse.

If you want to be successful at relationships, this course is for you!

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D E S C R I P T I O N . . .

  • According to Ann Rule, in the online dating world, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. It's revealed that about 3% of men are psychopaths, of which a tiny percentage are actually serial killers. (Mapes, Diane. 2006. How to Date in a Post-Dating World. Seattle, WA: Sasquatch Books.)

  • According to the Dating Report for 2014, 69% of singles are confused about whether they're on an actual date or not when they go out with someone they like.

  • According to a national survey from Cricket Wireless on communication and relationships, 56% of Americans show affection by sending emoticons or emojis to significant others.

  • According to a study by Match dot com, singles in their 30s are very likely to settle for a friend with benefits relationship.

Do you want to settle for just a friend-with-benefits relationship? Don't you deserve more than a hookup buddy? Yes, you deserve a partner, a soulmate, someone who deeply cares about you and will give you a real affection, not virtual, will understand you, love you, appreciate and admire you.

Don't you want to have clarity and focus in your relationships and  to know for sure whether you are on a date or not and be confident regarding where you stand in the relationship?

Why choose confusion and frustration when you can have clarity, satisfaction, and fulfillment instead? And you sure need to avoid a serial killer!

You are failing at relationships because you don't know what you don't know. That's why learning what I teach in this course will set you up for success.

By missing the number one secret of relationship success that I reveal throughout these lectures, you will always be making the same mistakes and find your heart broken again and again. I don't want that for you. You deserve better than that! Don't you?

Unless you follow the roadmap I provide here, you will be just another statistic...

But why choose to be that if you can choose to succeed? Leverage my experience and my knowledge to YOUR benefit! Act now, and you have nothing to lose. Really!


W A R R A N T Y . . .

  • You have unlimited lifetime access, even when I add new lectures, at no additional cost.

  • I will be producing new lectures and bonuses, and you'll get all of them absolutely free.

  • My help is always available to you. Sometimes going through a Udemy course on your own can be lonely! Whether it's a question, a comment, or you feel stuck and need resources to move forward, I'm right here, only one click away, and I'm committed to supporting you not just throughout this course, but as you move on and  grow, too.

  • Udemy money-back guarantee is a foundational promise that the product in front of you is really good and will definitely help you. If you take this course and follow the roadmap I created for you, YOU WILL SUCCEED. Enroll now and try it for yourself risk-free!

Who this course is for:
  • This course is designed for single women who want to be loved, admired, respected, and appreciated and have happy dating relationships.
Course content
Expand all 40 lectures 03:45:02
+ Get to know me and this course!
4 lectures 08:41

Welcome to the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course!

Here we talk about how to date successfully, whether it's online dating or traditional dating. I provide simple dating advice and relationship tips that can literally transform your life, if you apply them properly and consistently. From love, sex, dating, and relationships to conflict resolution and self-respect --- my dating tips for women and love advice are less focused on "how do I find love", and more on "how do I become a good date to be able to find a good date"… We will focus on finding harmony and joy in relationships. That's what determines dating success.

Have you been experiencing unintended but repeated pain, confusion, chaos, and regrets in your relationships? How about abusive relationships? I'm happy you enrolled into my brand-new Udemy course!


Right now, to ensure the best video quality, go ahead and click the HD button on the video. Also subscribe to course updates so you never miss out on the opportunities to get freebies.

If you are a single professional woman who has been struggling to find fulfillment in relationships with men and if you feel disappointed and frustrated at this point in your life, I am talking to YOU!

In this lecture I share my personal story of relational struggle with you, so that you have a very good idea what enables me to teach this topic. All the knowledge I've gained comes from experience, not a book I read.

After struggling for so long, I realized this was NOT the way to live MY life. Having 4 diplomas and an MBA from a great school, being an award-winning author, and owning a business, I knew in my heart there WAS a better way.

And I found it. Now, I simply want to share it with you.

This course is based on my award-winning book called Turn Your Dreams And Wants Into Achievable SMART Goals! So, goal-setting is one thing you'll definitely learn.

But even more important are the skills that you will develop, including:

  • Establishing good character discernment
  • Creating new relational thinking patterns
  • and Finding meaningful relationships that enrich your life

All these will enable you to enjoy great relationships for the rest of your life.

In this course I will provide many exercises, quizzes, assessments, and all examples used throughout the lectures are real-life situations I faced personally. My role will be to share with you the knowledge, tools, and inspiration needed to make the transformation possible.

To take this course successfully, you have to be sick and tired of chasing wrong guys, losing hope in empty relationships, experiencing heartbreaks, or maybe even being abused.

Why did I work so hard to produce this content and share it with you? Because it breaks my heart to see how many women are pressed every day by our society that they are NOT ok, unless they have a significant other, so we, women, allow almost anybody have our heart, hopes, and dreams (AND OUR BODY), just so we can be accepted and validated.

This does not have to be the rule YOU live by. Good thing you've stumbled upon my course!

There's so much more TO you. You are an incredible woman, and if you are ready to discover new ways of living happily and if you want to uncover your true identity as an amazing human being with dreams, potential, and successful future, give me your hand, and let's get started!

During this course you'll learn how to:

  • Learn the secrets of great dating relationships
  • Avoid stress, pain, and regrets from bad dating decisions
  • Get dating & relationship advice that creates happiness
  • Set meaningful relationship goals for dating
  • Develop new dating habits that will ensure your success

Why is this course important to you?

Because when you discover your power within, you unleash your ability to create your own best reality and future. Are you ready? Let's do it!

Preview 04:38

In this lecture we'll go over how to actually use Udemy to take this course. I'll explain all the assessments, quizzes, lectures, checklists, and other supplemental resources within the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course, where to find them, and how to utilize them, as well as and how to download the lecture files onto your computer.

On the right hand side of your screen next to the video, you see 4 tabs.

  • The first tab is a list of all lectures in this course.
  • The send tab is where you find all materials you can download for each lecture.
  • The third tab consists of discussions you can start or participate in.
  • The fourth tab is your personal notebook to take notes on this course.

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Should you have any questions at any point on this journey, I'm always here for you. In fact, I strongly encourage you to engage with me since it's a free opportunity for you to get the information you really need. Why not take advantage of such a great opportunity?

You can message me here on Udemy, post your questions in the discussion board, or tweet me at @SMARTgoalsBook, and I'll respond promptly.

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Remember! The first 50 students who complete 100% of all lectures will get A PERSONALIZED VIDEO RESPONSE from me. Don't you want it to be YOU?

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I highly encourage you to take as many notes as you can.

Write down the ideas that pop up in your head, because these ahas will be very valuable when we get to Section 5 and start working on your goal.

Most importantly, go ahead and enable notifications for this course, so you know exactly when I add new video leactures and bonuses - it's always FREE to you!

How to get the best ROI on your time with me

It's time we look at your dating relationships, evaluate dating success, and assess where we need to focus our learning efforts. As promised, my Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course has multiple assessments to help you learn effectively. This PDF self-assessment will help you understand where you are at before we dive deep into this Udemy course.

I have some questions for you to answer to determine how your current relationships enrich your life.

This relationship assessment will then serve as your point A as we progress to the point B where you'll have fulfilling relationships. This assessment will be a tool to evaluate your progress on the journey!

Your first relationship self-assessment
1 page

Have you learned a lot about your dating expectations, experiences, and essence? Have you gotten any good dating advice and relationship tips so far? You have plenty coming up.

This is Lecture 4 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course.

So… How did it go in Lecture Three with the relationship assessment? Did you have any aha-moments and breakthroughs regarding your relationships as a single professional woman?

Share with me in the comments please!

This final lecture of Section One will summarize what you've learned so far and how it will help you moving forward. I will also give you a headsup on what's next.

By now we have a good understanding of where we are starting from regarding your current relational situation.


  • You learned who I am and what I have been through in my dating relationships as well as how this experience enables me to relate to YOUR situation.
  • You discovered what I was able to overcome when it comes to dating, healthy relationships, abusive relationships, and how it inspired me to start helping other single women.
  • You realized that there were some important things I figured out about dating success along the way and now you need to know these to create a positive change for you in your dating relationships.
  • You now know what you will learn during our journey together and how it will serve you for the rest of your life.

What's next? In Section Two I will help you figure out what you really really want in life. Ready?

Conclusion to Section One
+ Figure out what you want for your future!
6 lectures 41:17

In Lecture 5 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course, I'll help you figure out what you really want in your dating relationships and in life overall. Why is it important? Because as Jim Rohn once said, “If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan.”


In this lecture, we will talk about how your past affects your present, which, in turn, affects your future.

As always, to help you learn in a context, I'll share my personal dating experiences with you and the lessons learned to save you from unexpected pain, unforeseen chaos, unintended confusion, and unnecessary regrets in your dating relationships.

After I decided to no longer accept being stuck in misery and frustration in my dating life, it hit me that the common denominator in all my afflicted dating relationships was me. And I had a breakthrough!

The potential for great dating relationships was always within ME, and I needed to uncover it.

I took a year off dating (YES, NO DATING FOR A YEAR!!! CELIBATE, YEP!) and dedicated my time to studying every aspect of great relationships as well as working on exploring my relational habits, thinking patterns, and renewing my mind.

I examined my yesterday, realized how it always affected my today since the common denominator - ME - always remained the same, and I decided to create a different tomorrow for myself by changing my beliefs, my views, and my relational habits! TODAY.


So, when you look into the future, do you envision yourself being happy and having fulfilling relationships? Guess what then? YOU need a paradigm shift. Don't you?

To prepare for that paradigm shift, download and complete your next assignment in Lecture Six. Use it as a template when reviewing your past and your present, as well as making predictions about the pattern that leads you into the future.

This document will be used later for you to ensure that the progress you will have made in this course is easy to explain and measure!

Preview 10:02

This relationship and mindset self-assessment is for you to use as a template when reviewing your mindset that determines your past, plays a big role in your present, and predicts the pattern that leads you currently into the future. This document will be used later for you to ensure that the progress you will have made in this course is easy to explain and measure.

Think about your current relationship with the man in your life (or of your last relationship if you're single). Or recall your general belief. Download the self-assessment and answer such questions as:

  • If he ever hits me in anger, I will...
  • If he ever cheats on me, I will…
  • If we are at odds, I usually...
  • If a girlfriend in my circle of influence doesn't have a man to date, I'll recommend…

These questions are pretty usual day-to-day scenarios that happen to many women, including me (in the past). And depending on what your mindset is, your present will be affected. Your mindset is usually affected by your past - someone or something taught you to think a certain way. Then, when that mindset affects your present, whatever happens next always affects your future.

Can you relate?

After examining your general mindset through all the above questions, in this lecture you'll write down one situational example of how your past affected your present and then your future.

You will see that if you want to change your future relational circumstances, you must change your current thinking patterns, your general beliefs, your overall mindset, and your behavioral habits.

That was what I had to do to break the vicious cycle in my own relationships. It wasn't easy, but it was very beneficial. And it was absolutely essential to stop the madness in my life. And in yours, too.

An inventory of your past, present, and future
3 pages

Welcome to Lecture 7 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! We call it #SMARTgoalsCourse :-) I'm so curious:

  • Did you have many breakthroughs and aha-moments working on your assignment in Lecture Six?
  • Did you discover common patterns in all of your relationships because of your mindset?
  • Were you able to clearly identify your thinking habits in the past, in the present, and see how they lead you into the future?
  • Can you see how toxic relationships have been affecting your health, finances, productivity, and opportunities?

I'd love to hear about it. Please leave a comment in the discussion board here!


In this lecture, we discuss the 6 types of relationships:

  1. Close relationships.
  2. Superficial relationships.
  3. Distant relationships.
  4. Estranged relationships.
  5. Conflicted relationships.
  6. Enmeshed relationships.

These come from so-called Intimacy Book, to which you'll find the link below.

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This lecture offers your very first quiz. It's exciting!

The quiz is full of real-life examples of each relationship type so you know exactly what each of them looks like.

It's essential that you master your skills at spotting enmeshed relationships, so you don't get yourself into one. Enmeshed relationships are often the ones where women experience abuse and are viewed as a possession, a replaceable commodity, a thing that can be manipulated. You don't want that! Do you?

Here we also talk about the 9 red flags of awful relationships:

  1. Your voice is not being heard
  2. Your feelings are not being considered
  3. Your needs and wants are disregarded
  4. You're being judged and condemned
  5. You're being dominated and controlled
  6. You're being treated as a commodity
  7. You feel unsafe with him
  8. You can't trust him
  9. You lose yourself around him

Can you recall when some of these 9 traits showed up in YOUR relationships? Were you able to recognize them?

Please leave a comment in the discussion board now.

By now you've taken a close look at where you are today in your relational life, investigated your path TO this point, you examined your relational patterns, learned about the six types of relationships, and reviewed the nine red flags to be on a lookout for. Let's talk about good stuff :-)

In Lecture Eight we will explore and analyze FULFILLING relationships.


How to effectively recognize abusive relationships

Below are 3 relational scenarios. You have learned how to differentiate between six types of relationships in the beginning of Lecture Seven. Please review the cases below and identify the type of a relationship that you recognize.

How you can identify the 6 types of relationships
3 questions

Whoo-hoo! You've made it to Lecture Eight of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course. Good job! I'm so proud of you for investing the time, thought, energy, and effort, into taking this journey with me! This investment in yourself will definitely pay off. Big time!

“Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.” - Denis Waitley


This lecture covers the positive traits of awesome relationships and highlight the negative traits of awful relationships to help you recognize them when you see them.

First, to help you learn in context, I will contrast the positive with the negative by giving you some examples of very negative relational experiences. Once you learn about those, exploring positive relational scenarios will be very easy to understand and remember. So, we will discuss the typical behaviors one will and won't demonstrate in a great, meaningful relationship.

> > > As always, here I share my personal stories and lessons learned with you.

The 5 behaviors that are NEVER demonstrated in a great, fulfilling, meaningful relationship are

  1. He NEVER acts like Mr. Macho who's got it all together, who's always right, and it's all YOUR fault.
  2. He NEVER makes promises that he cannot keep.
  3. He NEVER demands you to trust him by default. He KNOWS he needs to earn your trust.
  4. He DOES NOT AVOID opening up to you and feels comfortable expressing his vulnerability with you.
  5. His character is NEVER in a vacuum, he is always looking for ways to grow and improve.

The 6 behaviors that ARE demonstrated in a great, fulfilling, meaningful relationship

  1. He accepts you as a human.
  2. His love is unconditional.
  3. He utilizes civil conflict resolution tools and methods.
  4. He encourages you to grow.
  5. He is focused on something bigger than himself.
  6. He is forgiving.

Now, remember we discussed the 9 red flags of awful relationships in Lecture Seven?

Here we highlight the opposite!

The 9 bright signs to look for in AWESOME relationships.

  1. Your voice is actually being heard
  2. Your feelings are being considered
  3. Your needs and wants are attended
  4. You're being treated with humility
  5. You're being respected and trusted
  6. You're viewed as unique and valuable
  7. You feel safe with him
  8. You can trust him
  9. You are your best self around him

Can you recall when these 9 traits showed up in your relationships? Were you able to recognize them? Please leave a comment in the discussion board now.


In this lecture, you'll be offered to take your second quiz and test how well you digested the material so far.

The beauty of fulfilling relationships

Below are 3 relational scenarios. In Lecture Eight you have learned how to differentiate between awesome and awful relationships. Please review the cases below and choose your answer.

Is this relationship awesome or awful?
3 questions

This is Lecture 9 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course.

Now, when you are able to clearly differentiate between bad and good relationships, in this lecture you'll get to describe what you want for yourself. It's not easy to figure out what you really want, that's why I will provide 5 critical exercises for that.

  1. The Old You Exercise.
  2. Describe The Happiest Day in Your Life.
  3. The Ten Essential Statements to Help You Explore Yourself.
  4. The Young You Exercise.
  5. The Five Essential Questions that Lead You to Self-Discovery.
How to figure out what you really want in life

This is the final lecture of Section Two of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course.

In this section you've accomplished a lot:

  • We examined your past, present, and looked into your future.
  • We drew some conclusions about your mindset that caused you to experience relational pain.
  • You realized that the positive change in your relationships and life will happen if you make a paradigm shift.
  • We explored the differences between awful and awesome relationships, did a couple of quizzes to ensure you digested all the information well, and finally you went through 5 essential exercises to help you figure out what YOU really want in life and relationships.

In the lectures of Section Three we will examine your current mindset some more to help you clearly see where the problems may have been coming from. That's what I had to do myself when I was going through the pain of awful relationships trying to break free from the mess that was chasing me while I was running from myself in circles.

“Failure is only postponed success as long as courage 'coaches' ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory.” - Herbert Kaufman

I'm very interested to know how this course is working for you so far. Leave me a comment in the discussion board now. It also helps other students. Thank you so much!

Conclusion to Section Two

Let's see what you've learned about me as your Udemy instructor so far :-) Why do that? I want to know that you know that I know how you feel, what you're going through, and I myself experience all that pain, too. And hey, if we're gonna spend a few hours together, let's get to know each other ;-) Right?

How much do you know about your Udemy instructor?
3 questions
+ Examine your current mindset!
6 lectures 01:02:08

Welcome to Lecture Eleven of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! Have you been learning a lot? What are your major breakthroughs so far? Please share your comments in the discussion board now.


This lecture will explain the value of examining your mindset, your views, and your beliefs. It will prepare you to dive into the exploration of your outlook on sex, conflict, relationships, and you in the context of relationships.

As you already noticed, I do not pretend with you. I never told you: “Hey, let me teach you this wisdom because I'm perfect, have my life together, never made a mistake, and I want to share my THEORY with you!”

No, my friend. This is all PRACTICAL experience! I already shared with you about my relational failures, and in this lecture I share even more about what I've learned from how I failed.

I share how I figured out WHY I was living unsatisfying, unfulfilling, meaningless lifestyle, floating around in the sea of everyday life. You know what floating around actually means? It means to BE or to MOVE in a non-specific direction.

Do you want your life to be or to move in a non-specific direction?!

No, you don't.

As Jim Rohn put it:

“It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind, that determines which way we will go.”

Do YOU have your sails set right or are you just going with the wind?

I discovered that what significantly impacted my life, my dating, and my marriages was how I viewed myself, how I viewed relationships, how I viewed conflict, and how I viewed sex.

In the lectures of this section I will share my findings with you to help YOU prepare for a long-lasting, positive change in your relationships.

Are you ready?

Why mindset examining is critical for your relationships

You're making an extraordinary progress and are already in Lecture 12 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course!

“To change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions.”

Dr. Stephen Covey said that in his bestselling book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.“

You can find the link to the book below.


In this lecture we will examine a distorted view of YOU and help you track the beliefs about YOU, that cause you pain, back to the place of their origin.

I will start by sharing a discovery about my own behavior, and then we will talk about you.

What defines how and why YOU date?

When I started working on this course, many women walked into my life from either social media or the gym where I work out, and they started opening their hearts to me. Here, in this lecture, I share some of those stories with you.

What I discovered from talking to so many women, who'd be very open and vulnerable with me, was that what our families, communities, culture, and friends believe about US will significantly impact what WE believe about us.


You will be able to learn from this lecture how what a child NEEDS and the way that NEED is either met or unmet, will determine what the child THINKS. That will drive how that child FEELS. That FEELING will fuel the child's BEHAVIOR. And that will set the pattern for the future.

Can you look inside yourself? Can you see how what happened in the past may have affected the way you THINK and FEEL about yourself and how that may have contributed to your relationships?


We all want to have relationships in which we are loved, respected, admired, and appreciated.

But we often forget those reasons and instead choose relationships for the wrong reasons…..

You are an incredible human, with dreams, aspirations, goals, with talents. You're wonderful and you deserve to be loved, admired, respected, and appreciated. Don't you agree?


You know, during this course, I've shared a lot with you and made myself very vulnerable. You know WHY I chose to risk and expose myself to the possibility of hurt and maybe even gossip? Because I believe that YOU don't have to go through the same pain I went through. YOU can simply learn from MY pain.

So, again, in this lecture…

  • We talk about many things that may have influenced how you see yourself and build your relationships.
  • I explain HOW the pattern actually develops in our early years.
  • I share my personal story and pain with you and how I changed my behavior by changing the way I think of myself.

And as a result, I have incredible relationships today, my life is fulfilling, and I maintain clarity and focus. I'm actually going some place great with my life, not floating around wherever the wind blows.

I want you to set your sails right and follow your path, the one you establish for yourself. The path that will lead you toward a happy, meaningful, fulfilling life!

This lecture will ed with your third quiz, which I think you will love...

A distorted view of you leads to abusive relationships

Below are 3 relational scenarios. In Lecture Twelve you have learned that it is often your distorted view of you that contributes to choosing bad relationships. Please review the cases below and identify your response:

===>>> Which thought DOES NOT reflect a distorted view of oneself?

Which mindset about oneself is not distorted?
3 questions

Hi, my friend! Welcome to Lecture 13 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! I just want to give you a high-five for being so committed to finishing this course, going through every lecture, one-by-one, and changing your life and relationships for the better!

"Continuous effort is the key to unlocking our potential." ~ Winston Churchill

This lecture examines a delusive outlook on relationships and the disturbing modern rules and expectations that make many of our relationships so bad.

Rule #1. If you're cool, you have a man.

Rule #2. Men are just men, take it or leave it.

Rule #3. Don't ever get too comfortable.

Rule #4. Don't keep all your eggs in one basket.

Rule #5. Past predicts future, just look at his family.


Also in this lecture I explain that, instead of digging into a guy's past and making irrelevant conclusions about the future, look at your relationship with him and ask yourself:

  • Do I feel safe and secure in this relationship?
  • Do I feel respected, appreciated, loved, and admired?
  • Do we have good communication process established?
  • Does he have my best interest in mind?


We are doing all this as a part of Section Three where our main goal is to examine your current mindset and facilitate an inner environment where a need for change can be born, grow, and enable you to take the steps needed to modify your beliefs, thoughts, behaviors, and relational patterns.

Next we will examine your mindset about conflicts and then sex.

You are actually half-way through the Sex and Dating Advice and How to Avoid Abusive Relationships course! Congratulations on this one!

A delusive outlook on relationships

This quiz is designed to help you successfully differentiate between the false and the true beliefs about relationships.

Relationship lies vs relationships truths
3 questions

Hi, lady! Welcome to Lecture 14 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course!


The more we run from conflict,

The more it masters us;

The more we try to avoid it,

The more it controls us;

The less we fear conflict,

The less it confuses us;

The less we deny our differences,

The less they divide us.

– David Augsburger said that….


Do you agree? Post your comment in the discussion board now.

Ok, this lecture will examine a deceptive mindset about conflict our culture promotes. And I will help you learn to see a conflict as a tool for relationship growth and development.

We will review the 5 common rules about conflict that are a total lie!

Rule #1. Never criticize your partner.

Rule #2. If there's a problem between you and your partner, try and sort it out among yourselves, rather than involve other people.

Rule #3. End an argument as soon as possible.

Rule #4. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Rule #5. Life's too short. Shake it off and move on.

As always, I'll share great real-life examples that will be very helpful, so you can learn in a context, not just from hearing some theory. And I'll demonstrate that if you invest the time, energy, effort, and thought into your relationships, you'll reap great benefits with time.

Next we are talking about SEX!

But before we move on to that topic, let's take a quiz.

A deceptive mindset about conflict

This quiz will enable you to differentiate between a character attack and a productive talk about one's unproductive behavior. Below are 3 relational scenarios. In Lecture Fourteen you have learned that it is often your deceptive mindset about conflict that prevents your relationships from growing bigger and better. Please review the cases below and identify your response:

===>>> Which option reflects a productive mindset about conflict?

A productive talk about one's unproductive behavior
3 questions

Welcome to Lecture 15 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship where we talk about sex! Yes, it's that special lecture!

In this video I provide some great dating tips for women. I examine some crazy dating rules you've heard about, I'm sure. Like, the ThreeDayRule that Deane Roy sings about in the fingering song and TheWingGirls argue over in The Third Date Myth video.

I actually reveal to you that so-called "the three date rule" does not actually exist. In this dating 101 video I share with you how I apply the strategies I learned from Andy Stanley at North Point Ministries in his sermon about love, sex, dating, and celibate dating.

I provide unique and valuable dating advice for women, dating tips, talk about dating, temptations, and how to deal with them.

Here we will examine a deformed perspective on sex in our society. And I'll demonstrate to you how such a perspective hurts YOU and YOUR future.

I will utilize many of my personal examples with you and share HOW I stay on my journey that allows me to create a positive change in my life.

Let me push a pause button, because now is a proper time for full disclosure.

I love sex. I personally am more wired like men and have a very high sex-drive. The worst part is that I think about sex all the time. In Lecture 1 I shared my story with you and as you know this all comes from my mother, what she taught me, and what our relationship was based upon.

So, keep this in mind. What I'm about to share with you here in this lecture was mind-blowing to me when I realized it. It's the wisdom I gained getting my Master's Degree from the Mistakes and Misery University. You don't HAVE to enroll there, my friend. You have me and I openly share all the lessons I learned from my pain in the past.

So, here we talk about the 5 crazy rules about sex that are constantly being pushed on us by:

  • Our urban sexualized culture
  • Entertainment and advertising
  • and What society promotes

Rule #1. Sex is an essential part of relationships.

Rule #2. To be great at relationships, you need to be great at sex.

Rule #3. To keep a guy around, give him sex.

Rule #4. The third date rule.

Rule #5. If you can't have sex, at least have tease and please.

  • You're looking for a soulmate not a hookup buddy
  • You need a companionship-driven relationship not a sex-driven relationship
  • You want to be loved, not treated like a commodity

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Don't live life like there's no tomorrow!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


An anonymous poll carried out by among 5,237 singles suggests that in general there is no such rule AT ALL, judging from the answers to the question, "How many dates does it take before you become intimate?"

  • One: 12.74%
  • Two: 24.94%
  • Three: 21.48%
  • Four or more: 34.18%
  • Only after marriage: 6.66%

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

- - - You're building YOUR future in YOUR present.

- - - Your sexuality is THE most valuable possession you have.

- - - Sex a special gift you choose to give to the person you truly love.

- - - You LOVE first and then give the gift, not the other way around.

Learn to love YOURSELF, to honor yourself, and to treat yourself well. Then you can teach others.

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I talked to many women who chose to honor and respect themselves, and they say:

  • Refocus on you
  • Pursue your passion and career
  • Learn to create time for what you enjoy doing
  • Become an expert at something
  • Know exactly whom to invite into your life
  • Practice loving yourself unconditionally
  • Figure out how to fill yourself with joy
  • Don't just have sex for attention
  • Avoid fueling someone's ego by giving away the most precious gift you have

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What is a temptation? One definition says it's a desire to do something that's either wrong or unwise.

Would you want to do wrong or unwise to YOURself?

Another definition states that a temptation is a desire to perform an action that one may enjoy immediately or in the short term but will regret later for various reasons: legal, social, psychological, health-related, economic, etc.

This tells us that temptations ARE the things we ought to resist. And it's clear that if we choose to follow temptations, there will be negative consequences. Often severe negative consequences.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Women who chose to honor themselves and resist their daily temptations say to me:

  • Sex for the sake of keeping a man used to really affect how I felt the rest of the time in other areas of my life, but now I feel awesome about myself and my decisions
  • Not having sex for the wrong reasons makes me feel empowered
  • By resisting my temptations I feel safer and wiser, I have clarity now
  • I'm finally disciplined with my health, finances, career, and business
  • I got my life under control again
  • Not allowing temporary feeling of pleasure rule my life has been very rewarding


Step #1. Recognize that you're tempted

Step #2. Refrain from blaming yourself

Step #3. Refocus your attention instantly

Step #4. Return to your normal state

Step #5. Rejoice for you are stronger now


Tip #1. Look at objects around you and start naming them in your head. Or counting.

Tip #2. If the temptation doesn't go away and you start going crazy thinking you need a hookup buddy tonight, go to the gym or for a walk. Do something simple and powerful, something that will be positive, good for you, and will potentially fill your mind up with different thoughts.

WARNING! It is NOT a good idea to dress up and go out in such a situation.

Tip #3. If nothing helps, call a friend to talk and share about your temptations. Be careful whom you call though. Make sure it's not someone lightheaded who will recommend you to follow your temptations.

Make sure the person you use as a wise counsel is actually wise and emotionally and spiritually mature. Choose intelligently! Don't just let SOMEbody influence you, especially when you're so vulnerable.


Preview 17:21

This quiz will help you navigate between the true and false perspectives on sex and sexuality. Please review the questions below and identify the correct response:

Let's talk sex!
3 questions

Wow, lady, you're a rock star! Look, this is the end of Section Three of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course already! I hope you like what you've learned so far and I hope it's been of value to you. Let me know what you think in the comments here please. Thanks!

This final lecture of Section Three will summarize what you've learned so far and how it will help you moving forward. I will also give you a headsup on what's next.


Solomon, a King of Israel whom you probably have heard of, once said:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” - Proverbs 4:23

So how you deal with money, how you act at work, what opportunities will come your way and what you'll do with them, your health - everything depends on how great and fulfilling your relationships are, because relational satisfaction fuels your heart with joy, makes you believe in yourself, promotes productivity, inspires you to stay healthy, motivates you to be great and do wonderful things with you life



Relational dissatisfaction fuels your heart with pain, anger, rage, jealousy, and negatively impacts your ability to think clearly, to focus, to do well with money, to make good business or career decisions, to stay productive and to separate good from bad, right from wrong, which leads to many mistakes made all at once.


In this Section we examined your current mindset about YOU, relationships, conflict, and sex.

We talked about the lies our society and culture push on us in these four areas of life daily. And I shared some strategies you can apply when dealing with this situation.

We concluded that you are worthy of love and honor, so YOU need to love and honor YOURSELF first.

We discussed that in a relationship you want a partner, and soulmate, not a hookup buddy.

We realized that your focus is a relationship-driven future, not a sex-driven future.

Sex is a benefit of a relationship, not a building block. Thus, we addressed how you can deal effectively with daily temptations.


In Section Four we will be renewing your mind so that your future could be transformed. I actually spend a big part of 2014 renewing my mind, because I realized that indeed doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a definition of insanity.

I knew that if I wanted new results in the future, I had got to DO things differently, which requireed a new way of THINKING. So, I committed to renewing my mind. Best decision ever!

Are you ready for that?

Conclusion to Section Three
+ Renew your mind and transform your relationships!
7 lectures 31:19

Lecture 17 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course. Here's a little background. After I graduated from ReNew at Buckhead Church in Atlanta, I became a new person with new identity, new values, new outlook on life, and new beliefs about myself. I love my life and the new me! I'm so thankful….. That's why I created this lecture - to help you transform yourself and your life, so you can have a happy relationship!


“Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Ever heard this before? I'm sure you have

What does it mean? It means that while all your girlfriends tolerate abuse from their men, YOU don't have to. While our urban culture promotes sex as the only way to feel good about ourselves, WE don't have to fall for this lie. While many people lost hope for fulfilling relationships, YOU and I can still have those by choosing to change ourselves for the better, improve our character discernment, develop new relational thinking habits, and create happiness for ourselves in the future.


This lecture explains the value of positive change you will be able to create moving forward, outline the steps we will take, and how the transformation will occur through the renewing of your mind and development of new thinking habits.

So, how can you renew your mind, be free from the mistakes you made in the past, and establish a new path for your future? Here is a 10-step process I use.

  1. Become aware of your thoughts
  2. Pay attention to your feelings
  3. Watch how those disturb your behavior
  4. Observe how your actions are affected
  5. Analyze and journal your observations
  6. Replace the thoughts you discover
  7. Choose to feel differently
  8. Learn new behaviors
  9. See your actions change
  10. Repeat the process


As you've noticed, I have been completely transparent and authentic with you and used many of my personal examples to relate to you, to share MY pain, and to demonstrate HOW I changed my own relational patterns.

In this lecture, I am opening up even more and take the risk of being judged and maybe even criticized BECAUSE of my vulnerable disclosure. It's ok. I will take this risk for a very few of you whose hearts will be softened by my story and who will decide that change IS possible!

For you who have been struggling like I did, who are wondering if you're the only one with those struggles, like I did, I will share this story from my life and expose myself.

Based on this story, I demonstrate to you HOW exactly I utilized the 10-step process outlined above.

At the end of that awful story I share with you in this video, I show you the big smiley face in my journal representing me and how I felt about myself and my life when my mind was renewed.

Want to know what I wrote there?

  • Confident
  • Worthy
  • Self-accepted
  • Loved
  • Understood
  • Secure
  • Hopeful
  • Relaxed
  • Renewed
  • Joyful
  • Happy


In Lecture 18, I provide a downloadable PDF, which is an exercise that will allow to you assess how your current relationships work and how you'd like them to work in the future. The results will serve as a foundation, a starting point for enabling you to have a better character decrement.

Then in Lecture 19, another exercise will allow to you to evaluate the character traits of your typical partner, so you can gain awareness.

And in Lecture 20, I'll meet you again in-person and share with you about the value and the method of journaling your journey. Ready?

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind

A new relationship assessment, this exercise will allow to you evaluate how your current relationships work and how you'd like them to work in the future. The results will serve as a foundation, a starting point for enabling you to make a better character decrement.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :


How do your relationships make you feel most of the time? See examples and create your own list. Then, work on a new list of feelings you would like to experience most of the time in your relationships.

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Who do you think you are? How do you see yourself? What do you most often think about yourself? List your thoughts about you. Examine each one. How did it end up in your head? Who told you this about you for the first time? Why did you believe it? Do you now believe it, REALLY? What new thought could you replace the old one with to most accurately reflect the reality, the true YOU?

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :


Fill out a table to highlight your old mindset about you, conflict, and sex. Now let's map out a new mindset about you, conflict, and sex.

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This PDF will also serve as your go-to checklist moving on.

You and your relationships now and in the future
3 pages

Welcome to Lecture 19 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! Another relationship assessment, this exercise will allow to you evaluate the characteristics of your typical partner. The results will serve as a foundation for enabling you to make a better character decrement. Also will allow you to see your pattern and change it.


You will be asked to review a table. Each main character trait has a column next to it with synonyms. As you print out this document, mark the character traits that are the most common for your most typical partner. Can you see a pattern? Please share with me in the discussion board here. Keep this PDF for your reference later.

Is your typical partner this or that
1 page

Can you even believe that this is Lecture 20 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course?! With your commitment and persistence, you're making a great progress.

Want to have a better life, better relationships, better you?...

Start a journal. That's what we discuss in this lecture.


  1. It helps you process your life events, feelings, and emotions
  2. It allows you to improve mental clarity and regain your focus
  3. It enables you to discover what you personally stand for in life
  4. It facilitates your overall personal development
  5. It becomes your guide


By using a journal, you can actually develop a list of qualities you want in your partner for a great relationship. For example…

Forgiving, meaning he knows how to process hurt and let go of bad feelings. None of us is perfect. You want your man to be able to accept you and not expect perfection from you. The guy who expects perfection is self-righteous, and we already discussed self-righteousness in Lecture 8

Gentle, meaning he will understand your emotional needs as a human and as a woman and will actually respond to them with love and kindness.

Content, meaning he accepts and appreciates himself. He accepts and appreciates where he is in life. He still of course has aspirations, goals, and dreams, but he is not obsessed. He is happy NOW as opposed to dreaming: if I get THAT deal, I'll be happy. He IS happy.

Present, meaning he is right there with you, in the moment, attentive to your conversations. Not on his phone texting.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The how-to of journaling your journey:

  1. Write by hand, so get a notebook
  2. Find a cozy, peaceful place
  3. Schedule journaling into your daily routine
  4. Go for quantity, not quality
  5. Don't overthink, let it out as it flows
  6. Keep it private at all times


I started journaling when I was 12. I had tried to commit suicide twice from unbearable pain of living in my abusive environment at home and from a terrible way my mother treated me always. It didn't work. So I went to my school library and the librarian gave me a book about difficult teenagers. Children like me. Who didn't have a father. Who were facing violence every day. Who had no safe place to go to. Who were experiencing rejection, condemnation, and had a lot of resentment and pain.

From that book I learned that because of my upbringing, I could either flush my life down the toilet or make something good out of it. And I wanted to be successful so badly! I just had no idea HOW.

So, I started practicing envisioning and journaling. And these two methods became my way to escape from pain, process my reality, and grow. Don't take me wrong, I still smoked pot, cigarettes, I drank vodka, and was clubbing regularly, and as you already know I developed sexual addiction during those years, however I always stayed aware and slowly but surely I was pulling away from all those unproductive activities and leaning toward the pursuit of education.

Through my first 4 years in teaching school, journaling helped me deal with a lot of stress, because I was a student during the day, a teacher during the evening, and a wild teenager at night.

This was when I was 15, 16, 17, 18, and at 19 I started teaching difficult kids at a boarding school and was also accepted into a B-school on full scholarship since from my teaching college I graduated with honors.

In my B-school for 6 years I kept a journal to help grow my leadership skills. While I still was suffering from a lot of troubled behavioral patterns, my life was getting better and better. Because I was getting better and better.

And I still keep all those journals. Then I graduated from business school and law school and got married, so I moved to America.

The rest of my story is shared in my book "Turn Your Dreams And Wants Into Achievable SMART Goals!"

I wrote that entire book based on my journals. Imagine if you kept a journal for just a few years! You could publish a book, too!

In the next lecture, as you already know, I will teach you how to label your emotions and feelings. So, you can use this information when journaling or applying the conflict-resolution methods discussed in Lecture 14.

Preview 12:39

This is Lecture 21 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course. Emotional intelligence is what differentiates successful people who have clarity and focus from the rest of us.

Emotional awareness is the most essential tool to prevent you from being consumed by your feelings, to enable you to be productive, and to empower you daily with motivation and wisdom that we experience when process lessons learned and gain new insights.

This PDF is an exercise that will enable you to learn how to call each of your emotions by name, differentiate between a variety of emotions as you live through them, and allow for self awareness.

Labeling emotions
3 pages

Review the questions below and choose the most accurate responce.

Emotions: important or distracting?
3 questions

This lecture of my Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course is very personal to me. Therapeutic letter writing is something I just recently discovered and it helped me so much, I'd have to tell you that story some other time or ask me in the comments here and I'll share. This will be your ticket to emotional freedom, I promise. This will lessen the power of your feelings and help you stay clear and focused on what matters most to you.


Therapeutic Letter Writing How To:
  • Free Those Emotions
  • Label Them
  • Be Honest with Your Journal
  • Curse Out Whomever You Want
  • Read The Letter to A Trusted Friend
  • Feel Better Instantly


As you will see from the materials of this lecture, therapeutic letter writing is like no other tool. It's confidential, very effective, and helps you step back and gain a new perspective while setting yourself free from the power of your emotions

Therapeutic letter writing

Welcome to the conclusion of Section Four of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! Wooh-hoooo! Imagine this! I hope you feel inspired and encouraged.


  • You've learned in Section Four the value of renewing your mind and how it happens.
  • You've explored your relationships now and projected a future for your relationships.
  • You've analyzed a typical portrait of your partner and compared it to what you want in a man.
  • You've discovered the benefits and the method of journaling.
  • You've identified your emotions and feelings.
  • You've studies therapeutic letter writing.

In Section Five we will focus on setting and achieving SMART relationship goals for you.

Conclusion to Section Four
+ Set and achieve SMART relationship goals!
7 lectures 26:52

How exciting that now you will be learning how to set your relationship goals! So, why do you need relationship-related goals?

Sylvia Plath answered this question very well:

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”

You know what that means for you and me? It means if we don't set our sales right, we will be going WHEREVER the wind blows. If we don't know where we're going, we will end up some place we may very much DISLIKE. If we don't define our own relationship goals, somebody else will define our goals FOR us, and that's when bad things start happening…

You need to know what you want, what you don't want, what you will accept, what you won't tolerate, what good looks like, what bad looks like, so you can run BEFORE you enter the crazy town.

Clarity and focus are the two most essential benefits that goal-setting provides.


This lecture discusses the clarity and focus that are possible when you have your goals in writing.


  1. The purpose of a relationship is to complement each other, grow together, and achieve common goals.
  2. When a relationship is healthy, it feels and is nurturing, comfortable, and fun.
  3. If your relationship is a good one, you each maintain your individual identity as a human being.
  4. Neither of you feels as if they were making a “great sacrifice” to stay in the relationship.
  5. In a mature relationship, both partners can and do keep agreements and commitments.
  6. There is no abuse of any kind. Not physical, not verbal, not sexual, not emotional.
  7. Such behaviors as ignoring, blaming, threatening, diminishing accomplishments, or belittling one another never take place in a fulfilling, mature, healthy relationship.
  8. You are friends first and both enjoy each other's company.
  9. There's breathing room for you to be you and for him to be him.

“First strive to understand, then to be understood” – Dr. Stephen Covey said that, meaning that now it's time for YOU to learn about SMART goals and understand YOURSELF and what you want out of your relationships.

You're ready?

Preview 03:48

Lecture 25 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course will explain SMART goals: specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and time-bound.

Let's explore this together.

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Specific answers the questions What? Why? and How?

The What is your head

It identifies WHAT it is that you need to accomplish.

The Why is your soul

It specifies WHY you should accomplish it, it gives meaning to your goal, it outlines the purpose and the benefit of achieving that goal.

The How is your hands

It focuses on the tools and strategies needed for achieving your goal.


Here's my personal example: my goal.

“Take a year off dating from April 20th 2014 to April 20th 2015 by spending time alone, studying books, enrolling on a mentorship program, and attending therapy, to focus on becoming whom the person I'm looking for is looking for so that I learn from past mistakes and gain new ability to have better relationships in the future.”

In this example, you see the following three parts:

“Take a year off dating from April 20th 2014 to April 20th 2015...” - the What.

“ focus on becoming whom the person I'm looking for is looking for so that I learn from past mistakes and gain new ability to have better relationships in the future...” - the Why.

“ spending time alone, studying books, enrolling on a mentorship program, and attending therapy,..” - the How.

Answering all three of these questions is essential for motivating you, helping you stay on the right track, and keeping you accountable for the progress as well as the overall results.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


Measurable answers such question as How will I know when I progress?

It identifies what tangible evidence you will measure your success by.

In my personal example you noticed that spending time alone, studying books, enrolling on a mentorship program, and attending therapy a very clear way to measure my progress in achieving the goal by asking such questions as:

Did I spend time alone?

Yes, a full year of holidays alone at home.

Did I study books?

Yes, The Intimacy book, the Safe People book, the Bible, the Boundaries book, For Men Only, For Women Only, The Secrets of Happy Marriages - all these awesome books are listed here for you. You can find links in the resources section to the right of this video.

You see how your goal needs to be easy to measure, so that you KNOW you're making progress.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


Ok. Let's talk about what action-oriented means when we set our SMART goals. Every time you set a goal, it has to start with a verb that identifies the specific action that's needed to be taken in order to successfully achieve that goal.

“It is not only what we do, but also what we don't do, for which we are accountable”

- Moliere, a French Playwrite once said.

In my personal example shared earlier, the power verb that my goal started with was "take off dating."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


What does “realistic” mean when it comes to relationship goals?

It simply means that you need to constantly do a reality-check on your expectations of you, your partner, and your relationships. We often tend to think idealistically, especially those of us who watch romantic comedies or read novels.

Then our selftalk goes like this: “If he really loved me, he would…” or Oh “A real man would...”

Or in my example, for instance, I met girls who haven't dated for 5-8 years. It would have been very unrealistic for ME to set a goal of taking 5 years off dating.

Also, make sure you aren't aiming for a Prince Charming. You don't want to find yourself in a make-believe relationship.

In fact, let me share with you how I learned that lesson the hard way.

When I met my first husband, we had a PERFECT relationship. We traveled to exotic, most beautiful places around the world and stayed at luxury hotels, did all kinds of fun activities together like elephant safari, snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea, walking on the bottom of the Indian Ocean in Bali… I received beautiful roses from here almost every week. And baskets of roses for holidays. Little cards with the words of kindness and love… All that women usually dream about. And he swore to be he had never been married, had no children. He shared how he volunteered with children suffering from cancer and would tell be heart-breaking stories where he was such a hero helping a sick child. .. oh my!

Guess what? When it's too good to be true…. It aint true, girlfriend!

When we got married, I discovered he never even went to church, never helped any children, I was this dude's 4th wife, and he abused all his wives and me.

So, set your goals high but be realistic!


Ask yourself the following questions.

• Is it possible for anyone to accomplish this goal under similar circumstances?

• Is it probable for me to accomplish this goal under my particular circumstances?

• Will accomplishing this goal challenge me without defeating?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


So, let's discuss the time-bound component of your SMART relationship goals. You have to set a time frame for accomplishing your goal. This will help you stay focused.

Many times I had to go and check how many days I had left on my no-dating journey. And it kept me focused!

In my example, the timeframe was from April 20th 2014 through April 20th 2015.

That's a lot of info about goalsetting.

Utilize the system I shared in this lecture to set SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Time-Bound.

SMART goals emphasize what you want to happen, by when, how it can be possible, WHY do it, and who can, perhaps, help you overcome potential challenges along the way.

Oh, by the way, WHO can help you overcome potential challenges?

Your accountability partner. Click on Lecture 26 where we discuss this in detail

The what, the why, and the how of SMART goals

This quiz will allow you to process what you've learned here about SMART goals. Please review the questions in the quiz and answer them to the best of your ability.

What are SMART goals?
3 questions

Lecture 26 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course.


  1. Attention
  2. Motivation
  3. Information
  4. Ideation
  5. and Inspiration



The best way to find an accountability partner is through networking with like-minded people.

Searching for a mentor is similar to searching for a spouse: you two need to share common values, concerns, experiences, and, of course, have time to invest into meaningful conversations with one another.

In my experience, clear expectations of one another and clear boundaries are two keys to success in this process.

So, what YOU need to do….

  • Make a list of the qualities you're looking for in a potential accountability partner.
  • What kind of person would it be in a perfect situation?
  • What sort of experiences would this person have?
  • What contributions would you expect this person to make to help you achieve your SMART goal?


Also, think through and write down what time commitment you would expect to make and to receive in order for this accountability partnership to be successful.

Why you need an accountability partner or group

This quiz will help you reinforce the knowledge regarding an accountability partner and an accountabilty group, which is the key to success in accomplishing a goal.

The benefits of an accountability partner
3 questions

Welcome to Lecture 27 of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! This PDF is an exercise that provides step-by-step instructions and a template for you to set your SMART relationship goals.

As you try to set your goal, remember to ask yourself:

On a scale from 1 to 10, how committed will I be to achieving this goal?

If the answer is lower than 8, you need a different goal with a different WHY, maybe more meaningful WHY.

Also ask yourself:

What can I do EVERY day that will contribute to my success.

Remember: Start with the end in mind!

As you set the goal, remember: it is your WHAT?

It starts with a VERB to identify the action needed to be taken.

Time frame here is your deadline.

As you list benefits which is your WHY?, ask yourself:

  • What are the specific strengths of this goal?
  • What opportunities would it open up for me?
  • What could it make possible for me?
  • What would it be like if I achieved this goal?

As you think about your accountability partner / group and potential challenges, ask yourself these questions:

  • What are the challenges I may face in achieving this goal?
  • What is stopping me?
  • What are my concerns about it?
  • Do I have any fears related to my goal?
  • Who or what could help me overcome these challenges or fears and how?
  • Who has already achieved what I'm trying to achieve? Can I reach out?
  • To what extend can I influence the process of achieving this goal?
  • Am I ready to do my best? Am I 100% committed?
Setting your SMART goals
3 pages

“Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve.” - Mary Kay Ash

Now, that you have set your SMART relationship goal, THIS lecture will discuss what it will take to actually achieve your newly-set goal. The things we cover in this lecture include self-doubt and how to deal with it, five vital steps to help you change your negative self-talk to positive, I'll explain how you can boost your sense of self-worth, and share with you what to do when you're attacked by such thoughts as “IF ONLY”, “I CAN'T”, and “WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT”


Below are some examples of thoughts that may spoil your motivation and discourage you from even trying to fulfill your ambitions.

• I'm not good enough

• I don't have enough information

• I've never done anything like this before

• I always try and then quit

• Nobody believes in me

• No one cares anyway

And many more similar negative statements that kill your good spirit.

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Your thoughts can either work for you or against you. You make the choice.

Watch your thoughts

- they become words.

Watch your words

- they become actions.

Watch your actions

- they become habits.

Watch your habits

- they become your character.

Watch your character

- it becomes your destiny.


I'd like for you to become aware of your own inner talk. This will be your first step on the journey of adopting positive self-talk. Here's how you can do it.

The Five Vital Steps to Help You Change Your Negative Self-Talk to Positive

#1 Think about yourself driving your car. What's on your mind? What are you thinking to yourself right before entering a very important meeting? What thoughts occupy you when you have to make an important decision?

#2 Write these down - spend two to three days in observation, take notes and, finally, create a list of your self-talk. Fill it with your discoveries.

#3 Now I want you to circle those thoughts that are positive and I want you to praise yourself for the good thoughts.

#4 Underline the thoughts that are negative and damaging to your self-image. I want you to come up with a list of good, positive, empowering, inspiring, and motivational thoughts that will fill you with drive to succeed.

#5 Repeat these good thoughts, memorize them, and any time you feel down or catch yourself thinking negatively, bring the positive thoughts to work and see how your attitude, environment, and your circumstances will improve.

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At this point you may be wondering: how in the world can I just change my thoughts like this? Frankly, there is no magic. It is not an event. It is rather a process. The good news is that it's free to try, and the sooner you start, the better. From the time I was a little girl, my mother placed a great deal of guilt on my shoulders: for being born, for being a girl, for my father's absence in her life, for the lack of money, for the lack of a better opportunity for her, and for many other things that I had nothing to do with.

Needless to say, my self-worth was close to nothing.

Here are several exercises that I have used to boost my sense of self-worth and become a strong goal achiever.

#1 is called “Mirror, mirror on the wall”

This technique is very simple for starters.

Begin practicing it when you are by yourself, in a private environment, such as your bathroom, for example. It may feel extremely weird at first, but I promise, as long as you keep practicing, you will be amazed how your appreciation of yourself will grow.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say: “I love you…. I love you for your strengths, even though I know you have some weaknesses and faults like any other human being does. I love you for your accomplishments. I love you for your courage to try this exercise and for your desire to better yourself. You are very special! Great things are ahead!”

Trying to do this for the first time, you may laugh at yourself or think it's crazy. It happens to almost everyone when people just get exposed to this unusual yet powerful exercise.

What I recommend is that you write down what strengths you love in yourself - simply make a list, so it becomes tangible and real, instead of creating a feeling as if you were just saying something you don't believe in.

Just keep practicing: look yourself in the eye as you say your words out loud.

Self-talk is a skill. Similarly to how you would teach a baby to sit, stand, crawl, walk, and talk, you have to patiently teach yourself the skill of a loving self-talk.

#2 “Tell me about myself”

We are often asked during job interviews: “Tell me about yourself.” This time, you will be an interviewer rather than an interviewee.

You will ask your family members and friends who they think you are.

What words would they use to describe you? What do they love in you? What is so special about you?

As always, you write down the answers and return to your list for inspiration when you doubt yourself next time.

Ok, here's the 3rd exercise

#3 “A Happiness Journal”

When I was in my first year of teaching school, I remember hearing on the radio that the doctors in the UK became concerned about the level of happiness nationwide. It was decided that children there from now on would be taught how to be happy. I was so curious!

I myself had already started working with young children back then, so I wanted to know everything about this revolutionary idea. And I kept listening.

They explained that the children were asked to write daily, before bedtime, about any five things that they were thankful for or that made them happy.

It was also announced that this new methodology had already been tested and proved to enhance children's performance, better their health, and refine their behavior by cultivating positive attitude.

Wow! How cool was that! Free tool for my toolkit! I sure needed to try it right away myself.

And I did. I bought a beautiful pink journal and was writing down a few things that I was thankful for or that made me happy every day.

These were acts of kindness I've noticed, a nice word said to me by someone, my health, sunny weather, the bus that came on time, and the like. I soon realized what a wonderful world we live in!

Then, I started a journal like this for myself - literally thanking myself for different things every day. As was expected, it made a significant difference in the way I viewed myself from that point on.

So, I suggest that you, too, start keeping a Happiness Journal for yourself: write about yourself there as if you were somebody else.

Did you do a random act of kindness today? Did you say something nice to someone? Thank yourself for these simple things and watch your self-esteem skyrocket.

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To inspire you, let me share a poem that a Facebook friend of mine passed to me

When you arise in the morning,

Give thanks for the morning light,

Give thanks for your life and strength,

Give thanks for your food,

And give thanks for the joy of living!

Collect all the good thoughts and feelings you've gathered during the exercises described above. Use these positive thoughts to replace your negative self-talk. Do it on a consistent basis as you would do to develop the skill of drawing or dancing. You will see that the positive change will happen with time..

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Now, let's talk about what to do when you're attacked by such thoughts as “IF ONLY”, “I CAN'T”, and “WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT” Your attitude determines your altitude. Are you aware of it?

Is your default-setting happiness or unhappiness? How do you see the world around you? Is it a welcoming or a scary place to live in? How do you see yourself in it? Are you appreciated by people or do you feel neglected? Are you excited about tomorrow or is your tomorrow boring?

Did you know that you see reality not as it is, but as you are?

Sounds crazy? Not at all.

Answer these questions…

Are you keeping yourself a prisoner of your own limitations? Do you discourage yourself by procrastinating and waiting for “when the time is right”?

Do you see yourself as a victim of circumstances, justifying your own laziness with the “If only” type of excuses?

Does your lack of action come from the “I can't” type of place? It is time for you to get rid of your “If only” and to start creating the success you deserve!

Remember what Henry Ford once said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.”

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To inspire you, let me share this poem that was passed to me by a Facebook friend of mine

Don't wait until everything is just right.

It will never be perfect.

There will always be challenges,


And less than perfect conditions.

So what?

Get started now!

With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger,

More and more skilled,

More and more self-confident,

And more and more successful.

Whew!!!! This was a lot of info! Wasn't it?

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The things we covered in this lecture included self-doubt and how to deal with it, five vital steps to help you change your negative self-talk to positive, I explained how you can boost your sense of self-worth, and shared with you what to do when you're attacked by such thoughts as “IF ONLY”, “I CAN'T”, and “WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT”

So, I want to ask you a question. Which of these exercises will you try TODAY? Post your answer in discussion board now. And next, let's summarize what we've done in Section Five.

For that, please click on Lecture 29.

Achieving your SMART relationship goals

You made it! This is the end of Section Five of the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course! “Take the challenge of your life. Reach out to your goals. There is no limit to what you can achieve.” ― Lailah Gifty Akita.


This final lecture of Section Five will summarize what you've learned and I will also give you a headsup on what's next.

  • First, we talked about why you need relationship goals.
  • Then we learned about SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Time-Bound.
  • We discussed the What, the Why, and the How of goals.
  • We also highlighted why you need an accountability partner or an accountability group and explored the 5 benefits it provides.
  • You then worked on setting your SMART goals using the template I provided.
  • And finally, we explored self-doubt and how to deal with it.

Section Six is the last section of this course. Its first lecture, Lecture 30 is where I will share the best takeaways from this entire course, provide many valuable tweetables you can use to share what you've learned here. And the rest of the lectures offer valuable bonus tips, guides, and checklists to help you with some ideas moving on.

I want to thank you for taking this journey with me and I want to hear from you in the comments.

What has been the most important thing you've learned in this section? Please leave a comment in the discussion board and of course share this course or its individual lectures on social media.

The more people you help, the better!

Conclusion to Section Five

This is a summary lecture for the Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course where I not only provide a list of main, most valuable key takeaways from 4 hours of content in this course, but also share a list of ready-to-go tweetable you can use for your social media to spread the wisdom you've gained on our journey together.

Summary of course content and useful tweetables
+ Go build a better future now!
4 lectures 06:11

Must-Have Checklist of 10 Ways to Enjoy Your Own Company:

  1. Make yourself a healthy breakfast, work on a beautiful presentation, and eat it in bed.
  2. Take a peaceful walk and breathe slowly, look around, and just be….
  3. Take yourself out to see a movie and then do a little shopping for something you wanted for a while.
  4. Cook a healthy dinner for yourself, dress up, decorate your dining room with candles, and enjoy!
  5. Read your favorite book at the pool.
  6. Take a trip to the beach and rent a bike, or treat yourself for a helicopter ride.
  7. Try swimming with the dolphins, a heavenly experience!
  8. Go skydiving, be bold, you are a great company for yourself!
  9. Learn something new online, on YouTube, on Udemy, on popular blogs.
  10. Treat yourself for a massage and mani / pedi. Make a trip to a luxury spa!
Must-Have Checklist of 10 Ways to Enjoy Your Own Co

Dating Advice for Women - Get Ready for a Great Relationship course offers many bonuses. Here's one.

Five Books to Challenge Your View on Relationships:

  1. Boundaries
  2. Safe People
  3. For Women Only
  4. The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages
  5. Discovering Intimacy: Relating to God and Others as a Single Adult

See links below. These will change your life!!!!!!

Five Books to Challenge Your View on Relationships

20 Positive Quotes to Inspire and Empower You:

  1. "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday." – John Wayne
  2. “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets." — Harvey MacKay
  3. “We need to learn to love ourselves first." — John Lennon
  4. “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." — Steve Kloves
  5. “Anyone who has ever made anything of importance was disciplined." — Andrew Hendrixson
  6. “Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life." — Robin Sharma
  7. “There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." — Thich Nhat Hanh
  8. “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there." — Author Unknown
  9. “Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it." — Albus Dumbledore
  10. “The grass is greener where you water it." — Neil Barringham
  11. “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." — Earl Nightingale
  12. “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try." — Seth Godin
  13. “Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them." — Ziad K. Abdelnour
  14. “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score." – Bill Copeland
  15. “The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach."–Benjamin Mays
  16. “By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands — your own." – Mark Victor Hansen
  17. “Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal — a commitment to excellence — that will enable you to attain the success you seek." – Mario Andretti
  18. “An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men.” – Thomas Fuller
  19. “Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment.” – Stephen Covey
  20. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Positive Quotes to Inspire and Empower You

Tip Sheet with 30 Awesome Ways to Love Yourself:

  1. Start each day with a positive affirmation or prayer.
  2. Fill your body with food that nourishes it and gives you energy to be productive.
  3. Drink plenty of water. Add lemon to it for additional health benefits.
  4. Examine your self-talk. Keep it positive.
  5. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you.
  6. Start a Thanksgiving Journal for yourself and record your accomplishments.
  7. End all toxic relationships. Build new ones with people who enrich your life.
  8. Journal your journey. Pay attention to your feelings and emotions.
  9. Step outside of your comfort zone, try something new, be charged!
  10. Embrace and love the things that make you different. You're special, one of a kind.
  11. Create a solid connection with a spiritual source of love, wisdom and comfort
  12. Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe. Pray. Meditate.
  13. Follow your passion. What do you love to do? What's the calling that you feel in your gut?
  14. Be patient but persistent. Set goals but have grace for yourself.
  15. Be mindful of your values. Align your daily life with what's important to you.
  16. Treat others with respect, compassion, and patience.
  17. Spend time counting simple blessings.
  18. Reach out for help. Invite goodness into your life. Connect!
  19. Learn to say no. Set strong boundaries and don't betray yourself.
  20. Forgive yourself. Honor yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself.
  21. Be willing to feel pain and reflect on it. Analyze your past and present to avoid repeating mistakes
  22. Go on digital detox every evening before bedtime. Have quiet time. You time.
  23. Give up the need for approval from others. They have their own insecurities.
  24. Find happiness within. Nurture it. Cherish it. Know how to access it when you need it.
  25. Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like.
  26. Dn't dwell on your wounds. Learn from your mistakes and move on!
  27. Take care of your body. Exercise. Eat healthy. Sleep well. Unplug.
  28. Ensure your spiritual and emotional health. Get involved in the community. Help others!
  29. Maintain a list of priorities to help you in daily decision-making and don't let others steal your success.
  30. Have fun! Feel emotions! Live life to the fullest! Build your future success in your present!
Preview 02:01
+ Watch my responses to students' questions!
3 lectures 27:53

After completing 100% of all lectures of my new Udemy course for women, Ary asked:

"What would you recommend as the best way to move forward if there is a man who used to be your significant other is claiming he understands what happened and has changed? Is it a smart idea to trust that he has changed? Is there a way to know for sure that he has?"

How to Get Over a Breakup - Dating Advice for Women:

Ary, heartbreak is not easy to overcome, but you need to focus on YOU and YOUR future. Right now, you experience heartache, and perhaps your only self-help tool that comes to mind is new relationships, new dating adventures… But my best dating advice is the same as the dating tips for women I share in my new Udemy course - to get over a break up, focus on you! How to get over a breakup? Set goals! How to deal with a breakup? Exercise and get involved at church! How to overcome a relationship break up? Volunteer and learn new career-related skills! So, my breakup advice is very, very firm: to effectively survive a relationship breakup keep your focus on YOUR future and become a better version of yourself!


Want more videos like this? Here

Preview 11:02

After completing 100% of my new Udemy video course, Candace asked:

"When you say you have recovered from sexual addiction, do you really mean that you have complete confidence that you have completed the process of recovery or do maybe consider that recovery is not an event but a life-long process? How would you suggest that one stays on their path of recovery once the year of celibacy is accomplished. Does a sex addict just have to never have sex again like a recovered alcoholic does not drink or do you believe it is possible to create a healthy sexual relationship after addiction?"

Candace, sexual recovery takes time, so yes, it is a process. SexAddict who is overly-confident in having been able to conquer addiction and being out of Sex Addicts' Dark World, is always at risk of falling back into the same old trap of acting out, problem with porn, depression, sex trance, giving in to sexual triggers, and other symptoms of sexual addiction.

My mom had me addicted to porn before puberty, so of course the process of healing from sex addiction was painful for me since it's been decades of suffering for me. So, what I need to remember is that I'm on a lifelong journey and I must remain aware, guarded, and practice productive behaviors every day.


More great videos? Here:

Can a Sex Addict Recover & Have a Healthy Relationship?

After completing 100% of all lectures in my new Udemy course full of dating tips for women, Francesqua asked:

"Where do you draw the line when it comes to dating and dating exclusively?"

My response… Dating vs Dating Exclusively: Celibate Dating

Just to set the expectations right, we are talking about celibate dating. Christian dating. Celibate relationships are different than any given sexual relationship, because exclusivity does not equal sex. So, assuming you are celibate, How Do I Move from Dating to Exclusive? Dating exclusively when a guy can expect no sex from girlfriend, like in a case of Angela Zatopek, singles need to agree to deepen their emotional intimacy during becoming exclusive yet keeping their purity pledge and waiting till marriage to have sex. A modern-day woman understands that dating is for building a relationship, for establishing strong connection between a man and a woman, spiritual connection, no physical. Of course WHY you're dating determines HOW you're dating, so exclusivity in a dating relationship means I only have eyes for you and desire to be with you. My best dating advice - becoming exclusive in dating, volunteer and serve others together, do meaningful things together, grow in your relationship with Jesus together. That;s my best love life advice on love, dating, sex. Hope it helps!


Want more videos like this? Here:

Where's a Line Between Dating and Dating Exclusively?
+ Read interesting Quora dating questions I answered
3 lectures 06:39

Here's an interesting question I answered on Quora recently:

"On New Year, I met a guy in the city and he ended up coming home with me. Since then we have spent 2 or 3 more nights together and it is always a good time (at least it is in my opinion). I know we both please one another sexually and enjoy the same music and have fun overall. However, when I text him afterwards to say thank you or ask if he made it home safely *crickets. I will hit him up a few weeks later and he will respond and we'll replay the whole thing again. I understand that some men often behave this way, I guess I am just particularly concerned about this because I like him and would like to spend more time with him (but not tie him down).

After our most recent get together I texted him thanks and told him that I like him and he didn't respond. So I asked him if I was annoying him and told him to let me know so I can stop. Still no response. I ran the situation by my best guy friend. He told me that asking guys if you're being annoying is frustrating to them because it "comes across as a back way to be clingy but put the blame on the other person for being distant."

I'm not sure what I should do at this point. If this guy is just interested in having sex and keeping our communication to just the time that we spend together, then I'll be okay with it. A bit disappointed, but I'll live! It's the silence that is making me feel anxious and a little bit hurt."


I'm sorry you're dealing with this sad dating situation. Before I share my dating advice, let me summarize. I hear from your own words that:

  • you like the guy
  • you want his companionship
  • you give him your attention freely

The problem is that wanting his companionship, which is what you do, means you want him to be interested in you as a person, text you outside of bedroom, reply to your texts, and not ignore you, which means the opposite of it, aka treat you with respect and honor.

That would be great but you had sex with him the first night you met him. If you were him, would that look honorable to you? Would you want to GIVE respect if you were him?

I'm not saying it with any condemnation. I slept around a lot until I was in your situation and had to reach out for help, like you are doing now, only I went to therapy. Long journey of self-rediscovery, change in lifestyle and thought process. But it was the best decision ever!

You want to be admired, respected, and appreciated by men, you want their meaningful companionship, but you don't give them a chance to get to know your heart and character. Instead, you think you need to jump in bed with them to keep them around, but that has the opposite of what you desire. They treat you as a replaceable commodity after that.

He wants to be special. And if you sleep with him the first time you meet him, he assumes you do it with everybody, and that makes you a neighborhood bicycle in his eyes, so he gets his free ride, and off he goes…

And after that you actively pursue him through texting, asking if you annoy him, which makes him feel guilty but he doesn't have anything to say, until the next time he needs sex from you. And the situation repeats.

Don't be ok with it. Leave the poor man along. Take a year off dating. Focus on yourself and increasing your self-worth, being comfortable with YOU, and learn how to love, respect, and admire yourself, otherwise all men will just treat you as a replaceable commodity if you treat yourself as such.

I was diagnosed with addiction and had to realize I treated myself as a neighborhood bicycle for 15 years. I took a year off dating and life has changed. My relationships have changed. And I wish you the best, friend!

Preview 03:33

Here's an interesting Quora question related to dating advice for single women that I responded to recently:

What does it feel like to be a single woman past 25?


I am a professional single woman past 25 (I'm 32 actually) and I feel:

  • happy
  • fabulous
  • wise
  • free
  • self-actualized
  • satisfied
  • joyful
  • peaceful
  • excited
  • accomplished
  • fulfilled

Being single, you get to live THE GOOD LIFE. The life where you decide what to do, what to eat, where to go, how to spend vacation, how to deal with money, what to do with your weekends, when to visit your family (or not visit them at all ever), what church to attend, what weight is comfortable for you, how many hours of sleep to get to be productive, whom you can and can't talk to etc.

As a single woman, I get to:

  • be still in peace at home
  • be creative and productive
  • invest my spare time into my own business
  • spend quality time with friends
  • grow personally
  • develop myself professionally
  • focus on my favorite hobbies
  • sleep in or read a book all night
  • avoid drama and have joy
  • volunteer my time freely
  • mentor others
  • stay in shape by working out a lot
  • eat healthy and skip dinners
  • have quality time with myself

I love my meaningful, fulfilling, joyful, happy single life and wish you to love yourself and your life, too! Good luck!

Preview 01:33

Here's a great dating advice question I answered on Quora recently and somehow all answers implied that the sex addict meant in the question was a man, which is frustrating to me.

What is it like to date a sex addict?


When we think about a Sex Addict, why do we think about a man? I am a woman who was suffering from sexual addiction for 15 years before I was healed.

Sexual addiction requires the same attention and compassion as drug addiction, alcoholism, shopping addiction, compulsive eating addiction, and the list goes on.

Sexual addiction, just like the other addiction listed above, has to do with brain chemistry, the behavioral patterns that were taught to us as children, and the ways in which we get comfort, security, and validation.

Dating a sex addict is the same as dating an alcoholic - there are many relationship problems and behavioral issues associated with the person's brain chemistry imbalance, unless they get professional help, unlearn old ways of getting comfort, security, and validation, and learn new, productive ways to live life. But hey, are YOU perfect? ;-)

Again, I'm a recovered sex addict. I'm a very good person. And please don't say sex addiction unless there is REALLY a diagnosis in place and please don't only assume that all sex addicts are mean or all men are sex addicts. Loving sex and being sex addict is not the same. Sex addiction implies misuse of sex for the purposes it is not intended, such as providing comfort, security, or validation.

Sexuality is a gift given to us to express emotional intimacy. Good luck!

Preview 01:32