SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Applicable, Relevant and Timely.

This parenting course differs from all others by identifying SMART goals. By having SMART goals the desired outcome becomes more repeatable across larger populations. Unclear goals like "I want my kids to be happy" and "I want my kids to live a good life" are easily lost in a present moment of intense emotions. However, having a goal of "I want my child to learn how to make good choices" makes achieving those other goals possible AND it is a guiding light when managing current stressors with your child. Your child learning how to make good choices is the second goal.

The first goal is for you, the parent, to become a respected figure for your child. The majority of this course focuses on teaching you how to be your child's respected figure. By being the respected figure (also referred to as the authority figure) you will earn your child's trust and s/he will allow you to guide without opposition. Imagine that... parenting without arguments, power struggles, tantrums or disrespect. It's not a dream, this is how I have parented for 30 years. Now you can too!

SMART Goals Parenting is founded in Attachment theory by John Bowlby and Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs.  These theories together create emotional safety in the home which eliminates power struggles and builds trust.

Fear and love are opposing forces that cannot occupy the same space at the same time. This means, every time you act out of fear no one feels your love. The only things felt are what fear produces- insecurity, rejection, unappreciation and  criticism. Learn how to recognize and conquer your fears so they don't become a barrier to your love being received.

Think in terms of the airline warning, "Should the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling, secure your own mask first before helping others." Before you can give to others you must first fill yourself. People are often short tempered when they are overwhelmed and faced with having more to do. The best way to avoid tempers flying and angry words being exchanged is to make sure you have what you need to feel calm and patient. Your reaction greatly influences the message received.

If you can only do one thing in this course then let this be the one. Consistency impacts your child's emotional stability, self-confidence and sense of empowerment.

Choices is the first of the four parts of effective discipline- choices, consequences, rewards, reinforce (CCRR for short). Discipline is often the area where parents lose it. Undesired behavior can catch parents off guard triggering an anxiety reaction that hinders your ability to think clearly and problem solve. Even when you anticipate a tantrum or power struggle you may still feel lost in how to resolve it quickly and perhaps quietly. These lessons are designed to equip you and your partner with skills to address discipline calmly and effectively while maintaining emotional safety for all parties. Compromising emotional safety for the sake of a quick resolution can have lasting damage on your parent-child relationship. Rather than exploring options to repair damage, let's focus on not needing to cause the damage in the first place. If your parent-child relationship has already suffered damage utilizing these skills presented in all lessons will help but please seek out a professional if you need more assistance.

Listen to understand. Speak to build trust.

Many participate in conversations simply waiting for their turn to speak. Don't do this. Emotional safety is a reflection of feeling understood, accepted and supported. You cannot do that if you don't understand who your child is or wants to be and why. Everything your child has to say may not be easy to hear but the focus should always remain on understanding what your child is trying to convey about him/herself. Listening is crucial to understanding your child's inner world.

When talking, only say what you are willing or capable of following through with. You MUST be a person of your word. This is how trust is built. Even with little things like baking cookies or playing together. Keeping your word is essential to being viewed as your child's respected figure. If your child does not trust you then s/he will not allow you to lead - enter power struggles and arguments. It becomes a fight for power and control. That type of dynamic will only lead to both of you losing. Instead, create a win-win by listening to understand and speaking to build trust.