Have you ever feared of being exposed as worthless and defective, an impostor without any real talent?
All of us at least once in life felt like:
an outsider or a loner
left out, excluded
weird or strange
Every normal person experiences shame. Shame is the main reason we feel lonely and inferior, and strive for perfection. Sexual disorders, depression, addiction and many eating disorders are largely disorders of shame. Both physical abuse and sexual abuse also significantly involve shame.
The meaning of “shame” in this course is a sense of worthlessness and inadequacy many people feel. We feel unlovable, not good enough, defective and flawed. Feeling of shame is when you feel like a mistake, rather than a worthy human being. You feel inner chaos and undeserving of respect, love and caring.
When you experience shame, you wish a hole would open up and swallow you. We feel that all of our vulnerabilities become exposed and magnified. We believe that others view us with disdain or disgust. We think that perhaps we can be accepted if we can only become more lovable or perfect. We direct all of our actions towards accomplishing certain goals.
We feel exposed when we make mistakes, when we do or say something unintended in a public setting, or when we compare ourselves unfavorably with people around us. When we are doing well, we think it’s only a matter of time before we are discovered as useless. When we make mistakes, we expect a terrifying degree of anger from the people we disappoint.
Shame is related to self-contempt, a sense of inferiority, and low self-esteem. Paradoxically, people who are judgmental, arrogant and contemptuous toward others, are also driven by shame.
The problem is, people don’t like talking about shame. There is shame about shame. We will readily admit guilt, hurt or fear before we will admit shame.
That’s why we use other words to describe our experience of shame: embarrassed, shy, guilty, self-conscious, rejected or inferior.
If you feel:
then you have shame problems.
Topics covered in this course:
Why do we feel ashamed of ourselves?
When do we feel shame?
How to handle shame-eliciting situations?
Is it necessary to shame people?
Growing up in shaming families
Dealing with childhood traumas
Why do we become addicts?
Addictions (to food, sex, hobbies, etc.)
How do we act when other people shame us?
How to defend yourself against shaming?
Shame in romantic relationships
Shame in relationships with parents
Sexual and physical abuse
Characteristics of adults shamed in childhood
Feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, self-consciousness, shyness
Is shame good or bad?
Should we use shame to discipline children?
Who are chronically shamed people?
Eating disorders and shame
Perfectionists are shamed people
Why are we attracted to wrong people?
Is criminal behavior related to shame?
Shame is different in different cultures
How is procrastination related to shame?
How do we avoid shame?
Do you envy often?
Are you indifferent person?
People who strive for power and control
Narcissists and their shame
How to build a healthy adult relationship?
Dependency, Co-dependency and Counter-dependency
Should you share your shameful experience?
How to grow up and mature?
How to deal with Criticism?
How to raise a healthy child?
How to be empathetic?
How to be resilient to shame?
Strategies to cope with shame
Shame is a major destructive force in our life. It is at the root of all dysfunctions in families. In this course, you’ll learn how to deal with shame and how to develop resilience to shame.
The less we understand shame and how it influences us, the more power it has over our lives. You can overcome the feeling of shame by understanding why it occurs and how to deal with the experience.
This course will give you solutions and tools to address the shame you are feeling. After you implement the ideas, I hope you’ll be more confident to move forward, take chances, and create a better future.