Human Design: Reflector Beginners Course

Why it's useful to learn about yourself through the lens of Human Design

Well, people are motivated to do things for three main reasons. They want to:

* move away from pain

* move towards pleasure, or

* they feel intuitively drawn toward something

You might be taking this course for any of those three reasons, and all of them are okay reasons to want to learn and change.

Many Reflectors struggle with feeling invisible, ignored and misunderstood. I hear Reflectors say things like, “I feel like an alien or someone from another planet.” If that’s how you feel as a Reflector, I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. This is a very, very common experience.

See, as a Reflector you are designed to see and feel and sense and know things that most of the rest of the world will miss. And you are picking this stuff up from people and the environment around you every day, all day long.

You can’t not know how people are doing. You are deeply empathetic by design and you have been from the moment you were born.

Part of you has always known this, but somewhere along the way, probably when you were a very young child, you realised that your parents, your siblings and the other people around you simply did not understand your sensitivity, your gifts and your abilities.

They didn’t understand how different you are and they expected you to behave just like everybody else.

If that was your experience, this may have lead to you feeling disappointed because that’s not what you’re here to do. It may have lead to feelings of shame because you’re not designed to move and do and be the same way as everyone else and keep up with everyone else, day in and day out.

Having said that, some Reflectors are totally thriving when they find Human Design. They’re doing all the things and are surprised to discover they’re a Reflector because they’ve been able to do SO MUCH. Because you amplify those around you then the family system you grew up in will have heavily influenced and impacted how successful and healthy you’ve been in your life to date.

You are an amplification of what you’ve taken in and that’s one of the most important things that seeing your Reflector chart can help you to understand about you.

Now if you’re an adult, especially if you’re in your 40’s or 50’s or beyond you may be experiencing physical health conditions related to burn out or some version of chronic fatigue from trying to meet society’s expectations. Please know this is a result of both your specific childhood and your design and it’s treatable!

Some Reflectors come to Human Design feeling like failures and it is very common for them to berate themselves for being so inconsistent. What they don’t realise, what you may not realise, is you are not here to be consistent day-in and day-out.

Now, something you may have already realised is that you are deeply connected to the moon and its cycle, and she has a fairly consistent cycle over 29 and a half days. If you choose to learn about the moon and her influence over you then you’ll come to see some consistency after all… it’s just not day-in and day-out ;)

Of course, if you were consistent on a daily basis you wouldn’t be a Reflector and wouldn’t have all those incredible intuitive gifts that allow you to see so deeply and clearly what’s happening in the world around you.

And this is where Human Design becomes a gift in our lives. It can help with a lot of different areas of life, but first and foremost it helps us to understand how we are designed to operate in relationship to other people. When we get this right, as in, when you can do this the right way for you, then all other aspects of life can begin to fall more easily into their right place.

If you feel like an alien, like no one on earth seems to really understand you and your intuitive gifts then these lessons are going to be a delight for you. Please feel free to share this course with your loved ones who are a different Human Design Type to you so that they may understand your unique nature better.

The info in this course will be helpful in all relationships including your familial, professional, romantic, platonic and incidental. You can also expect the external results and circumstances in your life to begin to change as you actively implement what you’re learning here. Because as you change your behaviours, your results will naturally change.

What we’ll cover over the next handful of videos is a quick overview of each of the following important Human Design terms you’ve likely already come across but may not yet fully understand. We’ll look at:

• Type & Reflector

• Strategy & Wait a Lunar Cycle, as well as

• The Not-Self Theme & Signature of the Reflector

You’ll learn a little bit about how your energy field works. It is very different from other the Types.

Now, after you’ve learned about these terms we’ll look more in-depth at :

* What you are here to do

* What you are NOT here to do

* What you need (to be healthy Reflector)

* What deconditioning is, why it's important and how to do it,

and we'll finish up with a quick look at

* Decision-making through understanding your Inner Authority and Definition

There is a lot more detail on your Human Design chart than what we cover in this course. I've been deliberate in what I'm including here to ensure that you get a good foundation of the basics and I’ve focused on what will make the greatest positive impact on your life in the early stages of your journey with Human Design.

There is so much information in Human Design that you can literally spend years down the rabbit hole. But studying the intricate details of your chart won't help you in the beginning anywhere near as much as learning how to:

• honour the needs of your specific Reflector body,

• follow your Strategy,

• navigate the different phases of the moon,

• sense the differences in the environments you’re in, and

• curiously sample the differences in people you come across in your day-to-day life.

We’re going to touch on as much of that in this short course as possible and I’ll provide additional resources if you want to keep diving deeper.

Are you ready? If so, then let's begin!

Briefly now let’s look at the terms "Type" & "Reflector".

Type = How your energy field (or aura) behaves or interacts with others.

How the aura of each person “behaves” allows the body it’s connected with to do a particular kind of role in the world.

There are five main roles that people are designed to play out in their lifetime:

• Manifestors are here to initiate & make things happen

• Projectors are here to guide a particular group of other people who invite them to do so

• Generators need to find that one kind of work they love and do that (and their cousins… whose aura behaves so similarly that many HD teachers will teach only four aura types and not five)

• The Manifesting Generators are here to do work on many different projects that feel exciting for them

And then there is the teeny, tiny 1% (or so) of the population known as Reflectors.

You.

Your aura is endlessly sampling the world around you. It is very open to receiving energy but it has a unique layer of protection around it. Ra described this as being like “Teflon” on a frypan; you can cook stuff on it but it doesn’t stick.

This allows you to see people clearly and reflect back to them how they’re doing without getting totally lost in their human experience.

Now, let’s look at this a little bit more…

Your aura is forever sampling the energy of others. You are tasting, testing, smelling, sampling or drawing into you all the various kinds of things other people have to offer. The good, the bad, the wonderful, the awful. All of it. You get to sample all of humanity. That’s what gives you the ability to be so darn wise about humanity - you’re taking it all in, in tiny bite-sized pieces, all the time.

When you take that sample in you can then discern if it’s helpful for the other people, their workplace, their family, their community and/or greater society and then reflect back to them what you’ve discovered. That’s why your aura type was given the name “Reflector”; you’re designed to easily mirror things back to others.

So your role on the planet is to discern, evaluate, fairly judge, be an impartial witness and ultimately reflect your findings back to a person or a community who values you and your intuitive gifts.

Knowing how your energy field functions is so helpful to know because then you can use it to your advantage, the way it was designed to be used. You can use it in a way that is in correct service to others. And you can begin to honour it and the physical body it’s connected to.

"Strategy" refers to how you help yourself to stay in the flow of life.

Every Type has a corresponding Strategy and it's arguably one of the most useful things that Human Design teaches us.

Depending on where you got your Human Design chart from it’s probably going to say some version of “Wait a Lunar Cycle”.

While other Human Design Types are tied to the Sun, you, my dear Reflector, are designed to live your life in concert with the moon.

Waiting an entire Lunar Cycle means you wait the 29.5 days it takes for the moon to move through all 64 Human Design Gates before jumping into anything new. Obviously, you’re not going to wait a whole month to decide what to wear in the morning or what to eat for lunch.

This applies to big things; entering or leaving relationships, starting or ending business projects, moving home, going on a big holiday (or vacation), etc

If the thing you’re thinking about doing will require a big chunk of your time, energy, attention and/or money then waiting for at least one lunar cycle will help you to make the right decision.

Now, it can be very helpful to learn how to track the cycle of the moon and its influence over you. This is quite an in-depth process and so I don’t cover that in this course. However, once you’ve completed this course if you’d like to learn how to track the moon I’ve included my recommended resource for this in the Next Steps module.

Of course, sometimes Reflectors need to wait two or even three lunar cycles. It depends on the decision that needs to be made and how much of a commitment it will require of you.

What you’re looking for is a feeling. You want to feel really, really clear whether the thing is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ for you.

If you live in a fast-paced environment that wants you to make quick decisions, on the spot, like most of us do, then waiting an entire lunar cycle can be a challenge.

This is where we have to take Human Design and think about how to live out this stuff in real life.

You’ve no doubt felt the pressure from others to hurry the F up! And maybe you have given into making quick decisions in the past. Sometimes you simply may not have had the choice.

And yet, as a Reflector you are going to make better decisions that will make you happier and happier, and your life more aligned and more awesome by being able to take an entire lunar month (or two) to make all big decisions.

I highly recommend that you start to re-organise your life to make this a possibility. You may think it’s impossible to wait a whole lunar cycle but it’s really not. It just takes some getting used to and… getting comfortable standing up for yourself and what you need.

You can do that by communicating with your loved ones what you need.

It will help if you prioritise creating and maintaining relationships with people who give you the time and space you need to make a clear decision without pressure of any kind. And it will also support you if you can deliberately clear out the old patterns of shoulds, have to's and musts in relationship to making quick decisions.

In a future module, we’ll talk more about deconditioning, but in the meantime, what if you feel like you just can’t wait a whole lunar cycle?

• Wait as long as you can

• Get out of the aura of the person who is asking you to do the thing

• Move your body

• Get into nature

• Meditate

• Consult your Higher Self or your guides or God or whomever

• Journal on it

• Talk to someone who isn’t biased about whether you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the opportunity (another Reflector would be the best person for this).

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And then choose the option that you sense is going to make you feel the best.

It might be the option that brings you the most relief. It might be the option that when you visualise it, it feels solid and expansive. If you can’t wait a whole lunar cycle, you’re not going to know for sure, but do your best. And then notice what happens as you carry out that commitment.

Not following your Strategy can sometimes be a wonderful teacher that helps you realise the sheer importance of honouring your design. And some people simply have to do everything the “wrong” way in order to really get what’s “right” for them.

The Not-Self Theme & Signature

Not-Self Theme = Shadow/negative emotion.

Every Type, and therefore every person on the planet, has a "shadow" (or so-called "negative") emotion that will be your teacher for this life and indicates a lack of flow. This may or may not be printed on your chart.

As a Reflector, your Not-Self Theme is disappointment.

You’ll experience disappointment when you don’t allow yourself sufficient unpressured time to make a clear decision. You’ll also feel disappointed if you’re in the wrong relationships for you, the wrong community or the wrong job because you’ll be trying to reflect things to people and–because they’re not your people–they won’t or simply can’t hear and receive your brilliance.

And because as a Reflector you can see the potential in everyone, it’s disappointing for you when you see people behaving like sheep (as Ra loved to say).

Sheeple, that is, "people behaving like sheep", are such a disappointment for you because you know they came here to be wonderfully unique awesome humans and they’re just following the crowd, following the status quo. When you see this you probably find yourself wishing you could go hang out with some trees instead. They’re way more interesting, right?

So when you’re feeling disappointed then know it’s a sign that you’re definitely hanging out with the wrong people. You’re hanging out with people who push you to make decisions too fast for you, people who don’t listen to your awesome insights, and/or people who are boring as ball shit and playing a game of conformity instead of trying to wake the hell up.

If that’s the case, what do you do?

Open yourself up to finding new people. Notice who does honour you and your needs, listens to your insights and is on their own path towards greater consciousness, and prioritise those relationships. And see if you can gently but firmly let go of the sheeple in your life who are driving you to distraction.

And please, please, please, please give yourself the gift of learning to wait a whole lunar cycle to make big decisions. It absolutely, 100% will change your life.

Now onto your "Signature". This is not printed on most charts, but every Human Design Type has a positive emotional experience they long for and are designed to feel.

The "Signature" is like the opposite of the "Not Self Theme" and it's your sign that you are in flow and are following your Human Design Strategy.

As a Reflector you are here to experience surprise (sometimes referred to as awe) that shows up when you’re in the right relationships, the right community, the right job or business for you and the right environment you for. It also shows up when you’re taking your sweet time to make decisions it will put you in the right place far more often to allow you to experience that delightful feeling.

If you find that you rarely, if ever, find yourself experiencing what you would refer to as surprise, delight or awe then experimenting with following your Human Design will help you to access these emotions more often.

And… please know, that if you’ve had a really hard life with a lot of traumatic things happen then these lighter, happier emotions will start to show up as you heal more of that pain. And they’ll show up magically without you even trying, you just have to make space for them.

If you are already regularly experiencing surprise by any name you could call it then please know you are on the right track, you’re in the right relationships, you’re being and doing the right things for you. Heck yes to that!

Next, some questions. If you're taking this course in small chunks, I recommend answering the questions before you take a break.

What You Are NOT Here To Do

In short, what you are not here to do is be something you're not.

You're not here to:

• Work hard for an extended period of time

• Actively guide other people through their process

• Juggle multiple projects that feel juicy and satisfying all at once, or

• Take your ideas and just go out and make them happen

  
  

If you've been trying to do any of these things, it's probably because one (or both) of your parents were like this.

And it’s not that you can’t ever do these things. You probably have done some of these things, but possibly for a limited time, or with limited success.

The other Human Design Types are specifically designed to operate where they are doing one of these things every day. You’re designed to do something different… that is, all the things in the previous module.

By trying to do things you’re not designed for you it’s more likely that you’ll experience burnout and of course, disappointment.

Of course, Human Design has to meet real life, right?

Yes, sometimes you’ll just have to do the things that you need to do as a human being on planet Earth. I get it. But all the while please remember that there’s someone else who is perfectly suited to doing the things listed on this slide. It’s probably going to be way more fun for you to watch them do these things and for you to be a witness to their unique awesomeness as they do what they came here to do.

And, one final note here before we move on: Reflectors can do a really wide variety of things and have it go well if they entered into those things correctly. That is if you waited a whole lunar cycle and it felt like a good, clear, correct decision for you. And you might do that thing successfully, sustainably and joyfully for a long period of time IF the environment you’re in is supportive for you and feels good for your body.

Remember, the whole point of Human Design is to be something of a guidebook to help you re-find your way when you get a bit lost.

But it’s not supposed to restrict you.

So if what you’re doing looks like it’s too much for the average Reflector but you’re happy and healthy then there’s no problem. Keep doing what feels good and right to you.

Next section - HOW. As in, "how do I live my design?"

While we have covered many of these other modules already, it's useful to have all these reminders in one spot. As a Reflector, you are literally designed to do the following:

• Sample

• Discern

• Evaluate

• Adjudicate fairly

• Assess clearly

• Judge impartially

• Reflect (to those who want your reflection!)

• And… be an incredible chameleon.

I’ve snuck a couple of extra slides in here to answer this question: But who are you?

Of course, you, like all other humans, are here to be yourself.

And to be yourself, you must first know and then honour who you are. This can be tricky as a Reflector since it is in your very nature to be that chameleon and temporarily become a lot like the people around you, but there are aspects of you that stay the same, day in and day out. They stay the same no matter who you’re with or where the planets are on any given day.

Once you’ve been through the basics in this course it can be helpful to do a bit of a dive into the coloured in sections of your chart, that is, the defined gates as these aspects of you do not change. And, your aura does not change. You are always sampling, all the time, everywhere you go. And that’s not going to change either.

But… are you a unicorn?

This term is used a lot by Human Design coaches and I also used to use this term to describe Reflectors. This is helpful in considering just how wildly different you are from the other HD Types so if you like, use it.

If you hear others using it about you and your Type, then remind them that you’re a lively, kicking unicorn, not some fragile porcelain thing. You’re not some creature to be paraded around; you’re human with feelings like the rest of us.

Sometimes it can be helpful to use tools like Human Design to understand our differences but sometimes we also need to remember our similarities. Because you are, of course, just like the rest of us: a human being with a nervous system, that needs food, water, shelter, love and something to laugh about.

What you need in order to be happy, healthy and make your life work well are to honour what you’re here to do and starting to step back from doing all the things you simply were not built for.

The following things will help with that:

• Time with people who value, love & respect you

• Relationships with people who understand when you need to leave a space

• People in your life who let you take a looooooooooooong time to make a decision

• Friends, partner/s, family members who think your endlessly changing nature (aka “inconsistency”) is fascinating (not a problem to be fixed)

You also need:

• Time alone to eject all that energy you’ve picked up from others

• The option to sleep alone (even part time)

• Movement that nurtures you

• Regular time in nature

  
  

Finally:

• To do work that is sustainable & probably quite unconventional by society’s M-F, 9-5 idea of “normal”

• To learn how to recognise what you is you and what is not you in each new situation if you’re going to become a truly wise mirror for others.

• And to find your way to the centre of the community you are here to serve.

  
  

Conditioning is a term that you've probably heard before taking this course, but in case it's still new to you, let me explain.

When you were born, you, like all other humans came into the world as this beautiful yet helpless little body with a soul inside.

Your energetic design as shown on your Human Design chart was already in place the moment you entered the world. Then, in an attempt to support you to navigate the world, your parents, or caregivers (whoever raised you) then took on the mammoth task of teaching you all the things they thought you needed to know in order to survive in the world.

This process of being taught about how the world works is called "conditioning".

You and every single other person on the planet were taught or conditioned to act in certain ways and do certain things. You were told which emotions were allowed and which were not. You were told everything from how to hold your fork and why you can't throw food, to how to read and write and probably how to tie your own shoelaces. You were told how you should interact with others, and make friends and create new opportunities for yourself.

Some of these things may not have felt correct, or good, or right for you, but as a child, and part of a family, you probably did what you were told in order to survive.

Conditioning is necessary for our survival.

It is unavoidable because there is simply so much that the human animal has to learn that is not instinctual. And, despite their best efforts, I don't know a single adult on the planet who has managed to raise their kids without consciously or unconsciously teaching them so things that weren’t ideal for their kids.

Parents do the best they know how. But that doesn't always mean that we were taught the right things for us. Your parents, like mine, did what they thought was best, and what they knew how to do, which was probably to teach you what had worked for them. They did the best they knew in order to keep you alive.

If you are watching or listening or reading this now, they succeeded. You're alive (!) which means you get the choice to come back into greater alignment now because you survived.

Now, a quick note about trauma here before we move on. You may have experienced some things in childhood that were absolutely awful. If that’s part of your story, I’m sorry that you had to live through that. As I speak about conditioning here I do not wish to minimise your experiences. They might have been very scary and maybe you wished they never happened.

Our traumatic experiences condition us too. The times we felt unsafe, the things that caused us to feel shame, the times when our boundaries were crossed and maybe we weren’t allowed to express our anger. All of that teaches our subconscious mind about how we have to navigate the world and these other people around us who may not feel very safe at all.

So if conditioning is the process of learning how to survive and do things a particular way as a result of all of our good, bad and ugly experiences to date, then deconditioning is the process of deliberate unlearning everything that no longer serves us.

Our Human Design charts help us to discern which things we need to unlearn and which things we probably want to keep.

For example: If you were taught that you need to “work hard” in order to be successful, then this is a belief you’re going to want to unlearn as it’s ultimately going to lead to burn out, if it hasn’t already.

Another example: If you were constantly criticised when you brought your creative masterpieces home from school as a young child then you may have internalised some version of “I’m not good enough” and possibly feel crippling shame any time someone criticises you for even the smallest thing. This too can be unlearned through deliberately deconditioning.

Now on the flip side, if you were conditioned to think that you should spend some time alone every day to journal or meditate or ponder life then this is a very helpful thing you’ve been taught. And while it’s arguably helpful for all humans it’s definitely vitally useful for all Reflectors to believe this.

If the idea of working out which beliefs or patterns of behaviour are useful is a new concept for you then you can simply feel into whether the belief or thing you’re thinking about feels light or heavy.

If it feels light, easy, good in your body when you think about it, then keep it! It’s good for you. If it feels heavy, burdensome, constrictive in your body, then it’s probably no good for you. And it’s probably best to break that sucker up and let it go!

Of course, most Reflectors I know have been doing some version of deconditioning for a long time before they find Human Design. They might not call it that but they’ve been chipping away at the things that realise are not them and are not serving them.

If that’s you, then please take this as a reminder of how vitally important this work is. Keep it up! And if you can make this unravelling playful instead of “work” even better!

Deconditioning is a process. It takes time.

It requires you to be willing to look at your own shadowy stuff and notice where you're doing something that feels heavy, hard or simply not fun. Using the tools you have, or learning some new ones, you can choose to change what does not feel like it's helping you be in flow.

My favourite for this kind of change work is Trauma Informed Tapping (similar to EFT but more gentle and even more effective). And you can use any tool that is effective in creating deep lasting change.

That's enough on deconditioning for now. Next, some questions on what we’ve just covered!

Now let’s look at the term "Inner Authority".

Inner Authority is another piece of Human Design jargon that informs us how you’re designed to make decisions.

Like so many other people, you may have been conditioned or taught to make decisions with your mind. If you’re someone who often tries to write pros and cons lists to figure out what to do, now might be a good time to consider putting that habit down.

Beyond conditioning, or rather before conditioning, is the way you are innately designed to make decisions and as a Reflector your process is very, very different to all the other Human Design Types.

Depending on where you got your chart it may have Inner Authority written on it and if it does it likely says either “No Inner Authority” or the word “None”.

This is to say, that unlike almost everyone else on the planet who is designed to make their decisions based on an internal cue, that’s not your inbuilt process. You’re designed to enter into the right relationships and the right opportunities by recognising, first and foremost, how connected you are to everything else.

You endlessly dance with the moon. You are forever sampling your environment. And you are picking up on information from those around you all the time.

Therefore your way of “making decisions”, if we can even call it that, is by really being attuned to what’s happening on this planet and beyond, and seeing where you’re being led.

See what most people come to realise as they deepen into their journey with Human Design is that none of us are really in the drivers seat anyway. Our correct path doesn’t reveal itself through us “making a decision”. It’s more like we become aware of the correct decision for us, the correct action, the correct movement in time and space and then our only choice, really, is whether we take that right step.

The less conditioned we each become the safer we feel to surrender to where the Universe (God/Source/the Divine/the Cosmos/whatever you call it) is leading us. And while the other HD Types are led mostly through inner signposts, your signposts for your right next step are to be found largely outside your actual body.

Learning and understanding that you have No Inner Authority is super useful because each time you remember that the total answer for what’s next is not to be found singularly inside you, it reminds you that you are part of the whole.

It reminds you to be aware of the moon, to be aware of your environment and to be aware of the humans around you and their impact on you.

And your Human Design Strategy is there to remind you that this process of finding clarity about your next step happens over a loooooong time.

As you play with this process and become more aware of your innate interconnectedness with all the energies around you, begin to notice what your old patterns for making decisions have been.

• Have you been trying to make decisions with your clever mind?

• Have you been following the advice of others to just “sleep on it”?

• Have you been told to “trust your gut” and if so, have you been berating yourself when that doesn’t work for you? Or,

• Have you been deferring to some other person or authority figure and letting them decide for you?

Notice how you’ve been taught to make decisions and see if you can gently, slowly begin to let them go.

Some Reflectors, when learning they have No Inner Authority, feel disappointed or even disempowered and if that was your experience then I want to say this to you:

There is no problem here. You are not broken and you are not missing anything. You’re a single, beautiful expression of a delightful whole and you’re perfect just the way you are. So please give that disappointed part of you a super big hug and then, when you’re ready, let’s move on.

So, what does it actually look like to make decisions as a Reflector?

As I mentioned above, your Human Design Strategy is helpful to remember here because it’s of utmost importance that you remember to wait an entire lunar cycle as you make your biggest decisions (or, as I alluded to before, that you discover what your next right step is).

During this time it can be useful to track the movements of the moon (again, you’ll find a resource in the Next Steps module on how to do this), to notice the environments you’re sampling and take note of the impact the humans around you are having on you.

Don’t be fooled into making a quick decision just because you’ve taken in someone else’s energy for the last hour or because the moon has temporarily given you a taste of what it feels like to be a faster-moving Type!

You have "No Inner Authority", remember? That means whatever feels true now, now and now inside your body is probably not your truth! Give it time, babe. Give it time. Your clarity comes with time.

So that is to say, the correct decision about anything that will take a big chunk of your time, energy, attention and/or money is the one that feels good after an entire lunar month (or two!) of feeling into that thing.

AND in that time you might talk about the thing with loved ones. You might journal about it. You might move with it. You might commune with the moon or other parts of nature about it. You might meditate on it. Or you might do all these things.

Again, you definitely want to avoid having people tell you what to do. They are not your Authority on what’s best for you. You need to take in the whole big picture of everything the Universe is showing you and find your answer that way.

Now, it doesn’t mean others aren’t well-meaning in their advice. It doesn’t mean they don’t know a lot about the subject matter. They might. But anything that comes out of their mouth is probably simply their perspective, their opinion or their belief. It’s their projection and it’s probably not that helpful for you.

Unless, of course, that other human being is doing a really good job of reflecting back to you what you’re saying to them, pointing out blind spots and/or pointing out discrepancies between what your body and mouth are saying on the matter. These things can be really helpful in you gaining clarity about what’s right for you.

You’ll know what’s the right next step to make when you’ve taken the time to really feel into the opportunity and it feels really clear about whether it’s a yes or no.

Of course, this long, lunar process is only needed for big decisions. You’re not going to take a whole month to decide what to eat or what to wear or whether to read your book on your lunch break.

A good general rule is the bigger the commitment, the longer you’ll need to allow to find the right choice for you.

And if you feel like you’re a long way off being able to make decisions this way, then take heart: you knew how to do this as a very small child. It’s in you somewhere before it was conditioned out of you.

So prioritise your deconditioning and start to practise this in whatever small ways you can until it feels normal to listen to yourself and trust yourself once again.

Definition is something I mentioned briefly in the last module and while I don’t teach about this aspect of the chart in the Beginners Courses for the other Types, I have included it here because it trips Reflectors up all the time. So let’s address it.

Depending on where you got your chart it may or may not have your Definition listed. If it does it will probably say “None”, as in “you have no Definition.”

Like with the conversation about Inner Authority, this is true. You have no definition in your centres. That is, you are open, open, open! You’re open to taking in everything and everyone and that, my dear, is your gift.

It is your “lack” of definition that gives you your ability to take in so much from your environment and those around you.

So really, “Definition: None” actually translates to “you are an intuitive magical being”. Different words but the same thing. I think the latter sounds way more fun! :P

So now that we’re through that silliness of unhelpful jargon, let’s look at some Frequently Asked Questions and then it's onto Part Two!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. What do those fraction-looking numbers on my chart mean? It’s listed next to “Profile” with some strange words.

Your Profile is like the character you play in this life. It has two parts represented by two numbers. You may have the same Profile as your Manifestor friend or your Projector loved one, and thus I have not included it in this course.

The most important aspects of your chart to really get a handle on for you as a Reflector are:

• Practising waiting for a lunar cycle to make all big decisions, and

• Learning how to navigate all that openness, And, of course,

• Prioritising deconditioning so you can let go of all the old stuff that’s getting the way of you being your glorious self.

But once you feel like you’ve got a handle on these, or have even made a decent start, then learning more about your Profile can be super helpful as a Reflector because you do have so little definition–that is, so little in your chart that remains consistent–it’s helpful to know about the bits of your chart that do remain the same day in and day out.

The Profile is one of these. When I first started with Design over nine years ago there weren’t that many good resources on Profile. I would end up spending a chunk of each session teaching my clients about theirs. Nowadays, there are more than enough free resources online on Profile that a quick search should bring up an article or a video that explains yours.

Make sure when you’re looking up resources about aspects of your chart that the person teaching has been:

1. Working with Human Design for several years already,

2. Feels like they have an embodied knowledge of what they’re talking about (not just repeating it out of a book), and

3. Shares about your Profile in a way that feels simple and empowering to you. If not, find another resource!

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Q2. What is this Incarnation Cross thing with four numbers and a weird name?

The Incarnation Cross is another thing that I don’t usually spend much time on at all with the other Human Design Types, but as a Reflector, it can be really enlightening and helpful, even in your early days with HD to have a bit of a sense of yours.

This is another place where you do have definition and thus for you it is a stable and consistent, reliable part of who you are, day in and day out. The Incarnation Cross refers to the four gates you have defined in the two Sun and Earth placements. Ra Uru Hu gave a name to all the combinations of gates and that’s the weird name you might see on your chart. The name he chose isn’t as important as understanding what those numbers mean.

In case this is the first time you’ve heard the term “gate”, take a look at your chart again. See the coloured in lines that go halfway between one centre and another? They are called gates. Each gate has its own kind of energy, its own thing that it’s strong and capable and able to do. The gates that were lit up by the Sun and Earth at the point when you were born (and at 88 degrees or about three months before you were born) are said to have the biggest influence over your innate personality.

Consider these some of your greatest strengths, the things you can rely on, the energies you’ll naturally out every day. For you, as a Reflector, they’re worth looking up. And while myself or another Human Design coach can teach you about your “top four gates” that make up your Cross in a private session or reading, you can, these days, actually find a lot of information online for free about each of the 64 gates in the chart. Some Human Design books also cover these fairly well, so have a bit of a look around and I’ll link to my favourite resource for these in the “Next Steps” module.

Finally, a reminder: Human Design is an almost endless rabbit hole of things you can fill your mind with. What will genuinely change your life the most and for the better is making sure you’re waiting a lunar cycle for those big decisions, you’re prioritising deconditioning and you’re actively working out how to get better at navigating all that openness.

If you’re all over those three most important things then by all means dive into the four gates in your Cross.

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Q3. How do I learn more about all these open (and undefined) centres?!

For this one, I actually have a course I can share with you. I’ll share the links in the “Next Steps” module. If you’ve been enjoying this course and like the way I teach and the way I’ve structured this learning for you, then I can highly recommend that course. And if you want or need for any reason to learn about your centres another way you can definitely do the same with centres as I suggested for the Profiles and the Incarnation Cross: you can look up a book or you can do a search online for videos or blog posts covering the topic.

But definitely, as long as you feel like you’re nailing those all-important things I keep banging on about–moving with the moon, clearing out your junk and dancing with all that openness–then absolutely, learn more about your centres. In the course I’ll link to, I’ve gone through all nine centres and discussed what it’s like when they’re defined, undefined and when they’re 100% open (with no defined gates at all).

As a Reflector, knowing about the undefined or open configuration, whatever is in your specific chart, is helpful, because it’s how you’re wired. But it’s also helpful to understand what it means when a centre is defined because that’s what you’re constantly sampling and taking in from the other people around you.

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Q4. I really want to understand my loved ones better. I know they’re quite different from me. Where can I get more info about the other Types?

If you like how I teach here then you’ll probably like the other courses I created for each Human Design Type. I’ll link each of the Beginners Courses in the “Next Steps” module. Alternatively, if you want to learn about all the HD Types all at once, the Intro to Human Design course will give you a better overview of everyone.

Another way to do this with me is in a private coaching call. Of course, see what makes the most sense for you and the time, money and energy you have available for learning.

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Q5. I want to learn more about how to apply this information to my individual situation. How do I go about booking a private call with you?

I’ve linked my appointment scheduler with descriptions of the kinds of sessions available in the “Next Steps” module. The people I find I work best with and who get the most out of their time with me are those who have spent a bit of time playing with what they’ve learned about their chart and who are ready to ask more nuanced questions about how to apply what they’ve learned.

My favourite humans to work with are those who are determined to become the most awake, alive, authentic version of themselves and they are often in a role that supports others to do the same. I’ve coached many, many humans in the last nine years including a big handful of Reflectors.

Having said that, I am a very big fan of Reflectors being coached and mentored by other Reflectors. So if you’ve taken this course and know you want to go deeper by being supported by someone who knows what it feels like to be a Reflector, I 100% support that and I’ve linked to some more resources for Reflectors by Reflectors in the “Next Steps” module.

And if you know that, for now, I’m the exact person you want to work with, then please go ahead and check out my session options. I would be delighted to meet you and help you deepen into the preciousness and awesomeness that is you.

In this short section we'll cover the following topics:

• How your Reflector loved one operates

• What, to do &

• What to avoid

If you are another Human Design Type other than a Reflector and your loved one asked you to watch this, I have a suggestion before we dive in: if you have the time and you haven't done it already, I recommend that you consume Part One before completing Part Two. While I have addressed Part One directly to the Reflector it will also help you immensely in understanding your loved one.

If you’re short on time but determined to learn even a little bit about your Reflector loved one, then I’ve condensed the most important things for you to know about this strange and wonderful creature that is your Reflector into this Part Two section.

Please also note: While this course is designed for the adult Reflector the same things apply to Reflector children. In fact, if you can raise your Reflector child in a way that is more in alignment with the truth of who they are (energetically) then you'll be helping to nurture a happier, healthier soon-to-be adult Reflector.

Finally, if you're a Reflector who has just finished Part One of this course and you’re short on time or energy and you’re wondering if this section of the course will be a good use of your time, the short answer is ‘yes’. Why? Well, my clients often tell me that hearing the same things explained in different ways helps them immensely to deepen their understanding of who they are. So yes, it's probably a great use of your time! Just a reminder: you own this course for as long as Udemy exists. So you can always come back later if you need to.

Please also know that I've made this section brief deliberately so that if you have an impatient or super busy loved one who won't take this whole course, then ask them to just watch this short (Part Two) section as it will likely help them to understand you better and thus improve your relationship with them :)

Ready? Let's jump in!

How Your Reflector Loved One Operates

Your Reflector loved one needs to be able to regularly hang out with you, their beloved human. So the more quality time you can give them, the better.

While it might seem like a contradiction to the last point, they also need lots of breaks to be alone. Think, one part extrovert, one part introvert. Sort of.

Reflectors kind of have really big energy. When they’re with you, you probably really notice it. They have the potential to be really deeply present with other people. Like, so deeply present that they’re hanging out with your heart and soul. It’s not always comfortable if you want to hide. Haha. But because they can go so deep with you and others they also need time alone to reconnect with themselves.

So they need space to decompress, away from you and others, and they need movement (not “exercise” per se, unless that feels good to them) just so they can eject all the energy they pick up from other people.

Now, while it might feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar, they will probably benefit a lot by sleeping alone (once they’re no longer a tiny human that is!). This also supports them in ejecting other people’s stuff from their system. Sleeping alone means they’re sleeping several metres (like 8-12 feet away) from other people. And because energy moves through walls you’ll want to calculate that distance to take into account walls for sure, but also floors and ceilings if you live in an apartment, flat or unit.

Please know that your Reflector loved one may switch between hiding away from people to wanting to be in the middle of everyone and everything. If they do, just notice what they need and what they want to do and support this because your loved one knows what they’re doing. They can feel so much in those bodies of theirs.

They will present as the ultimate shapeshifter. They may seem like their personality changes every time you watch them hang out with different people.

If your Reflector loved one seems to be wildly inconsistent just know that they’re designed to be.

It’s also helpful to know that this incredible human of yours is endlessly reflecting the thoughts, emotions, behaviours and even the personality of you and the other people in their life; it’s their nature to do so. That might seem strange but this is totally normal for a Reflector. It’s how they’re built.

Finally, please know they need a very long time to make decisions about what they want to do or order to make the right decision for them, their life and their well-being. And the bigger the commitment, the longer the decision may take.

What To Do To Help Your Reflector

These things will not only help them, they will also help you by improving your relationship with them.

Firstly, let them be a shapeshifting, inconsistent chameleon!

Please recognise that their ever-changing nature is not a problem that needs to be fixed or a condition that needs medicating. This is normal for them. This is how they’re built. This is part of what makes them unique and special and wonderful. Stop trying to make them be like you, or to measure up to society’s standards if you’ve felt like they need to. They don’t. They’re here to be different. Let them be. Love them as they are and stop trying to fix them. They’re not broken.

Let your Reflector loved one take as much time as they need (this may be a whole month or even two or three) to make a decision about anything that feels big and important to them.

If you can, start to look for the signs they show of how wise and clear they can be when they feel safe.

Help them to feel safe and loved. It will feel better for you and better for them, and ultimately that’s better for everyone.

Do ask for their counsel on matters that are bothering you (if it’s appropriate to the relationship of course - please don’t ask your small children for advice on adult matters. Children still need to be children, even if they’re really wise Reflector children).

If it is appropriate for the relationship, if they’re your partner, your friend, your adult child and if you are willing to hear the (probably) challenging things they have to say, then ask them and just be sure to value and respect them and the reflection they’ve offered you - even if it’s uncomfortable or challenging to hear.

Finally, avoid the following behaviours with your Reflector loved one. Again, this is better for them but also it is ultimately better for your relationship with them and therefore better for you too.

Avoid pressuring them to make quick decisions.

They’re not designed to. Yes, they can be slow. Yes, yes. But how can you work around that in other ways? How can you create time and space for that? Can you begin to plan your familial life or social plans differently? Get creative. The more unpressured time you give them, the better. The more you pressure them to make quick decisions the worse it be for their well-being.

Avoid expecting them to be consistent from one day to the next (or even one hour to the next!).

They are your shapeshifting chameleon, remember?! So if they’re excited about doing something this morning and by this afternoon they’re completely disinterested, instead of being confused or upset about this, laugh! This is just how the Reflector operates. The sooner you can embrace this the happier everyone will be.

Avoid expecting that they should be able to handle a normal school schedule or a normal 9-5 type job like “everybody else”.

They are not like everybody else. Sure, you might not be able to create an amazing Reflector haven that operates as slowly and fluidly as your loved one may want. You may have to put them in a “normal” school (whatever that is where you are) or they may have to work a “normal” job for a while to make sure they and others have food and shelter.

But can you get creative with them? How much unpressured time and space can you give them when they come home from school or work? Can they work less hours for similar pay in a different job? Can they work closer to home so their commute is shorter?

Think about the ways you can support your Reflector to have more downtime to relax and eject all that stuff they’ve picked up from everyone else all day long. The better you can look after your Reflector, the healthier they will be long term and the happier they’ll be right now.

Avoid getting upset if they need to leave a room full of people, a party or any crowded place earlier than you wanted.

This happens a lot for Reflectors. They walk into a restaurant, a family gathering, a friend’s party, whatever it is and they quickly realise that, for whatever reason, this group of people on this day, or this physical space feels bad for their body.

They want to get out of there and maybe you’ve only just settled in! The question is, when this happens–and I say when because it will happen if it hasn’t already–how will you handle it? If they’re an adult, can you just let them leave and can you stay? Can you plan for this in advance by taking two cars or letting your Reflector drive home and you get a lift with someone else or take a taxi back?

If it’s your child, can one parent go home with the Reflector child while the other parent stays at the gathering? Looking for creative solutions and planning ahead for the possibility that the group and the space might not feel good for the Reflector will prevent a lot of conflict in the relationship.

Meanwhile, berating or forcing the Reflector to stay in places that don’t feel good for them is going to make them sick and unhappy. It’s not an ideal thing to do on a regular basis. So let them tell you if they don’t feel comfortable in the places you’re visiting. Because if they stuff down how they’re feeling and try to “suck it up” and see it out til the end of the event, you’re going to have a unhappy, unhealthy Reflector to deal with. And that’s not great for anyone.

Of course, Human Design has to meet real life and sometimes it is impossible for the Reflector to leave for any number of reasons. But as often as you can practically manage it, help your Reflector linger in places they love and leave the ones they don’t.

Finally, avoid asking for their insights on something that’s happening in your life and then rejecting or ignoring their suggestions.

Unless you want a disappointed Reflector on your hands, that is. Because one of the fastest ways to disappoint a Reflector is ask for their often incredibly sage awareness on a matter that’s bothering you and then doing nothing with their suggestions.

Don’t dump your grievances on them. Don’t ask for advice and then ignore it. Don’t use, neglect or dismiss them. They have the potential to be some of the most intuitively gifted people on the planet, so if you are lucky enough to have a Reflector in your life and it’s appropriate given the kind of relationship you have to ask for their advice then please treat them with the utmost respect, care and gratitude.

You have a beauty. Please take care of them.