Positive Parenting - Dealing with Power Struggles

This handout is for reference for the first 11 lectures.  It includes:

• Why kids Misbehave

• Mistaken Goal Chart

• Ideas for all power struggles

Use this handout for reference as you work through the following lessons.

You will learn 6 needs all children have when they are born.  You will also learn how getting these needs met (or not) will affect your child's behavior.

You will also learn the 4 mistaken goals when a child is discouraged from getting these needs met.

In this lecture I will use a parent volunteer to help you learn how to identify the Mistaken Goals which are:

• Attention
• Power
• Revenge
• Avoidance

For each goal, you will be shown:

• The identifying feeling associated with each goal
• The child's mistaken belief about getting their needs met

In this lecture parents will learn one of the ways we respond do that makes us be ineffective, lose our child’s respect, and have them tune us out.  You will also learn the first step to get out of a power struggle.  It's not the only step, but its ALWAYS the first step.

In this video you will learn:

• How young a child is and what you may do that teaches them that it's fun to fight with you.  
• A great way to prevent them from thinking that it's fun to oppose you. 
• The question to ask to achieve the best possible discipline tool in the moment to prevent the power struggle.

In his lecture you will learn the 3 parenting styles and how they interact with a child in he goal of power.  The 3 examples are:

• Parent as Drill Sargent (too firm)
• Parent as Helicopter Rescue Pilot (too kind)
• Parent as Consultant (kind and firm)

You will learn, through an exercise with a parent volunteer, how the child feels and reacts to each of these parenting styles.

In this article you will learn more clearly about preventing the joy off opposing by using the tool, " respond like a broken record". 

In this lecture you are asked to think of 3 areas that you power struggle with your children.  Some common areas are:

• Bedtime
• Homework
• Meal Time
• Brushing teeth

You will want to keep these power struggles in mind as you go through the rest of the videos so you can practically apply the tools you are learning to your particular power struggles.

This article will help you design a bedtime routine that works.

This is your handout listing the 8 ways to get out of a power struggle.

In this lecture you will learn what happens when you yell at your child or ask her to take out the trash over and over.  With the parent volunteer, you will see the results of the "ineffective" way to handle this situation. 

You will then learn a much better alternative to get your child to take out the trash without yelling or asking repeatedly.

In this lecture, I will teach you the question to ask yourself to get out of a power struggle.

This idea will also solve the underlying reason for the power struggle.

In this lecture you will learn:

1. What happens to most people when they said no to their parents growing up.
2. The results of children not being allowed to say no.
3. Why you should teach your children to be able to say no respectfully
4. How to train them to say no respectfully

This article will provide you with more example of how and why to teach your child to say no respectfully.

In this lecture you will learn the guidelines for successfully offering your child choices to get out of a power struggle.

This article gives you 5 creative ways to offer your child choices.

This is the idea I use to get out of a power struggle that I think I may lose.

In this lecture you will learn how and when to choose win-win negotiation to get out of a power struggle with a child.

I will teach you the words to use to best set up a win-win scenario that works to get out of a power struggle.

In this lecture you will learn a tool to help you get out of a power struggle.  Letting go of your position does not mean the child gets his way.  

This is a fun tool to get out of a power struggle.  However, it takes some forethought to set it up.

This is your handout listing the 11 way to prevent power struggles.

In this lecture you will learn how and why talking less is an effective strategy to prevent power struggles.

Learn my FAVORITE tool of all time to prevent a power struggle and the examples of how I successfully used it with my kids.

Here are 2 more ways to prevent a power struggle:

1. Be firm and Kind and Follow Through
2. Say "no" in a friendly way

I also share a fun story of how I taught my kids I mean what I say!

This is a handout that gives you 16 ways to tell your child no.

What can you do if your child is yelling, "I Want A Cookie!" right before dinner?

Here are 2 more practical tools to prevent power struggles.

Here are 3 important tools to prevent power struggles from happening in the first place.

This is my favorite parenting tool of all time to prevent ALL misbehavior in kids, not just, but definitely including power struggles.

This is my favorite article about power Struggles. It will go into more detail about 8 of the concepts you learned in this video series.

What did you learn?