Man 3.0

I am writing this book as a reminder to myself to constantly practice my masculine power. Masculine power is not a given, it is a continuous action, day by day. Understanding and accepting men in the current society is more and more difficult. We are carrying a lot of guilt for the mistakes of our ancestors who suppressed and killed women. We are carrying a lot of shame because of the past failures of the patriarchal society. All these are present in the masculine egregor and carried over as subconscious patterns for the contemporary men. For these reasons we have a twisted image about masculinity and what it is and what it should be. We are oscillating between macho jerks and wimps in the quest to fit in a model that works for us and is least judged by the society and the people around us.

The alternative I am offering to you in this book is understanding the masculine qualities and using them consciously when needed.

A man without a strong origin is a man without roots. Remember that the roots do not have to be perfect, the lotus has its roots in the mud. This is not about being perfect. This is not about having royal blood or perfect parents. This is about being connected to your upbringing and own it. This is about turning led into gold. It is about taking your past and build with it a core. Let's say your father was an alcoholic. It is what you make of it rather than what happened in your childhood. You can use your past as an excuse and become an alcoholic like your father or you can use it as a lesson and set a new example for future generations and never drink a single sip of alcohol in your entire life. Usually, when we have bad examples in our life and overcome the experience, we become perfect examples. When we get over ourselves and we decide to create our own life, we base our values on what we want to be, not on the example that was set for us.

Being connected with our roots means to know where we come from, what were the examples set for us, good or bad. Denying our history is pure ignorance and it will only bury deeper into our subconscious all the unresolved traumas.

A way to know your roots is to understand who your caretakers were and how were they behaving during your childhood. Were they kind? Were they rich? Were they successful? What words were they using? Were they authoritarians? Were they allowing you to do everything you want? Were they showing you affection? Were they fighting? Were they present? How are you exactly like your father? How are you somewhat like your father? How are you exactly opposite as your father?

How are you exactly like your mother? How are you somewhat like your mother? How are you exactly opposite as your mother?

All the above questions can be themes of meditation. The process of discovering your roots will make you realize who you are and who you are not. You are not the traumas, you are not your behavioral patterns, you are not your reactions, you are not your past. For more details about traumas or wounds, patterns, masks and emotions find my first book and training “Be You And Feel Good”.

The base of a man is like the foundation of a building. The stronger the foundation is, the taller and safer the building is. The base of a man includes three inner layers: the vitality or stamina, the sexual drive and the personal will. These three inner layers have three corresponding outer layers: the sustainability in the world, the social integration and the mission.

The base of a man is in strong relation with his ability to self-sustain himself and his eventual family that depends on him. This is an aspect related to the vitality and stamina aspect of the man which is fundamental for achieving success in any endeavour. The man can be very intelligent, but if he does not have enough energy to take action and sustain effort, he will probably start a lot of projects and not finish any. He might have many ideas, some of them brilliant, but he will never put them in practice because of lack of motivation and drive. A man with a lot of stamina and less intelligent will always achieve more than a man who is very intelligent but has no stamina. Stamina, from the energetic point of view, resides in the first chakra, called the root chakra or Muladhara chakra in Sanskrit. The root chakra is located at the base of the physical body between anus and the root of the penis. This chakra brings into our body the stamina, the vitality, the power of sustaining effort. It is of paramount importance for men specially to activate and harmonize this chakra for achieving great vitality and stamina in their body. If you don't believe in energy and this sounds "wishy-washy" to you, start practicing 5 minutes a day the hands to feet pose and observe the difference in energy for the whole day. Here I am not talking about concepts and beliefs, I am talking about methods and practices tested by me in my own life that helped me to become an active, vital and determined man. Below is one Yoga posture that you can do right away, no experience needed, in order to amplify your masculine vitality.

Padahastasana in Sanskrit means literally hand to feet pose. This yoga posture puts the practician in resonance with the energies of the Earth and nourishes and activates Muladhara chakra or so-called Root chakra, which is responsible with the vitality of the physical body. By practicing this asana (yoga posture) for at least 10 minutes in the morning can give you a boost of energy higher than any coffee. It is important that yoga is approached gradually and respecting your physical body limits. It is said that the touching of the toes with the hands is not that important as the journey for getting there. This is not a yoga course so if you want to know more details about this yoga posture, I recommend the school of yoga that I am attending for the past 25 years and from where all my Yoga and Tantra knowledge is coming from. https://liveonlineyoga.com/ or https://onlineyogaacademy.com/

Another aspect of vitality is the sexual vitality. The sexual drive in a man has a strong role in his life. It can lift him up or pull him down. A lack of sexual energy can lead to a very sedentary life and lack of motivation for any action. In the case of a lack of sexual energy, men can have no desire for interacting with the world. The sexual energy is the fuel for any social interaction, not only sexual encounters.
An excess of sexual energy can lead to lack of focus on achieving higher goals. Balancing and harmonizing the sexual energy is probably the most important aspect for men in order to achieve their full potential.

In the Taoist tradition, the sexual potential is conserved by controlling the ejaculation during love making so that men keep as much energy as possible into the physical body. In authentic Tantra, sexual continence is one of the fundamental principles without which, there is no real Tantra. Brahmacharia, the sexual continence, is a secret well kept by the kings and queens, by the emperors and rulers of this world since immemorable times. When a young man asked me how to become more masculine, I told him that he will not like my answer and then told him, "stop ejaculating". I wanted to make him curious, because not many men know this fundamental secret and they believe ejaculating is equal to orgasm. Our ancestors knew this secret and we forgot it. Is it easy to be sexually continent?

Let's say it takes a lifetime of practice and it worth all the effort, because the reward is not only more virility and masculine power, but also great health, wealth and a longer life. Taoists are using the sexual potential to prolong their life and gain perfect health. I will not cover the details of sexual continence here, there are many books and conferences about it.

Ardha-Chakrasana amplifies, harmonizes and increase the capacity of control of the sexual potential. Practiced with perseverance can awaken huge personal charisma and better integration at the social level. Together with other Yoga techniques it can facilitate the transmutation and sublimation of the sexual potential into superior forms of energy, like mental focus, willpower, etc.

The third aspect of a masculine man is direction and will power. The power of will without direction is chaos. That is why a man needs a purpose and the will to pursue it.

The will power is connected to the belly, to the Manipura chakra or Hara as called in martial arts. This is the centre of will power, of expansion, of control and of action. Without action, the man is dead.

Masculinity means taking action, conquering, achieving, reaching goals, succeeding, finalizing. Our ancestors conquered land and hunt animals and now men are making a killing on the stock market.

Masculine power is measured in how successful we are as men, how passionate we are about our goals and dreams, how focus we are on our mission. A man who is on a mission and his focus is unwavering is in his masculine power and will attract feminine energy like a magnet. If you want, this is the main masculine quality that a woman will observe first and foremost in a man.

If a man is weak in his direction and power, he will attract women who are more directive than him and will lead the way in the relationship. It is nothing wrong with this type of relationship, if is just a different dynamic and we will discuss about this with a different occasion. If a man is loving and sweet but he lacks direction and drive, he will be less attractive for women who are looking for a masculine man.

The power can and will be built in a man by training his character and body. It can be through martial arts, bodybuilding, army training, masculine yoga, Tantra, Taoism, etc.

Nabhiasana is a very powerful yoga posture for tonifying the entire body and awakening the fire in the belly. It activates Manipura Chakra and harmonizes all the energies in the body due to the activation of the “centre of the being” or Kanda in Sanskrit. It eliminates fatigue and nervousness. Amplifies the virility and power of action.

We talked in the previous chapter about the man in his masculine power and how attractive that is for a feminine woman. That is how you attract the woman to look at you in the first place. The next level will help you to keep the woman in your life and make her happy. That level is the level of the Heart, in Sanskrit, Anahata Chakra. At this level of the being resides the true love. A man connected with his heart is able to listen to the woman beyond her words, he is able to hear what resides behind the words, what is unsaid. Women complained for centuries that men do not listen to them and that is not true, we do listen, and we listen with our problem fixing mind and we even want to help by giving solutions. How does that work for you men? How are you experiencing the relationship with your woman when you are listening in order to give solutions? Do you feel connected with your woman after such a conversation, or do you argue?
The power of the heart enables men to break through the need of giving solutions in the old fashioned way and discover the world of emotions which gives them access to the true key in understanding a woman, through their heart.

By opening and connecting to his own heart and emotions, men discover a new way of relating to the world. A man who is in his power and loving is a man who is ready to love and respect his woman and himself. The dimension of the heart offers man the ability to a higher intuition that women are recognized to have naturally. This intuition is also called, the intelligence of the heart. In my book “Be You And Feel Good” I am talking about the three brains: the instinctual brain, the affective brain and the intellectual brain. The intelligence of the heart comes from the affective brain.

Activating the heart centre in our being is a lifelong journey and there is an art to integrate the instinctual brain with the heart brain and with the intellectual brain. The entire work that we do at “Be You And Feel Good”, Man Three Dot Zero and KamaSundari is aimed to reaching perfect balance of these three brains or energetic centres. Here, I offer you one method that will easily give you access to your own experience of the heart.

Bhujangasana opens the Heart, which is not only Anahata Chakra, but also the centre of the energetic toroidal field that exists around the human body. The affective brain of the being is a very complex energetic structure which goes around the whole body and energetic being that we are.

A king without the crown is not a true king. What I mean by that is that a man needs to connect to his own king energy and power. This energy resides in his higher inspiration, power of the mind and superior intuition. The power of the mind gives to man his vision, his direction, his ability to set goals and focus on them. The higher inspiration is his connection to the Universal Intelligence, the one that grows the trees, blows the wind, rotate the planets and expand the Universe. The higher inspiration is in connection to our ability to make inspired decisions that serve us and humanity.

This potential resides in the physical body in the neck, head and crown area. Our ancestors knew very well this secret and therefore, when a king was chosen he was given the crown as a recognition for his ability to connect to this potential and therefore able to lead a country. We do not have to able to lead a country in order to be kings.

We need to be the kings of our own life and lead a life of purpose and mission. That is the life of a man connected to the King archetype that is described in details in Robert Moore's and Douglas Gillette’s book "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover".

In order to develop the crown, man needs a purpose, something that burns inside of him, without which he does not feel fulfilled in this life. If you do not have a purpose yet, find one, start small and grow from there. The important aspect of a man is to start and finish or start and fail and never give up.

From the energetic point of view, the man needs to develop and amplify the three upper energy channels: Vishudha, Ajna and Sahasrara.

Setu Bandhasana brings blood flow into the upper part of the body, head and neck. This is an asana for Vishudha chakra especially and the communication between Manipura and Vishudha. Also, it will pleasantly energize the head area. This is for the beginning, later on, you can approach other more advanced postures assisted by a qualified yoga teacher

At the end of a series of asanas it is important to relax the body completely on the floor for at least 10 minutes.

I do what I say, and I say what I do. Integrity is a very important quality of a man. A man who has integrity it is a man who can be trusted both by men and women.

Masculine energy is directional and focused, therefore, when a man says something and does something else, loses his own coherence, loses his own consistency. A man who doesn't not keep his word is a man from whom you do not know what to expect.

This does not mean that the man should never change his word when circumstances require it, it means to communicate clearly when circumstances occur and change his word. What breaks integrity is not changing your word, is not communicating it clearly. A man is allowed to change his word and admit that he evaluated wrong and communicate this with clarity.

Also a man is allowed to break his word and admit it in front of the ones to which he gave the word and compensate with an simple act of service like is done in ManKind Project, Landmark and other schools of thought.
Integrity gives man inner power.

A man in integrity is a man with a strong core, a vertical man, a man with a spine, a man of honour because he is honouring his own word. A man who has integrity is like a strong tree in the middle of a storm, he will bend his branches but never give up his trunk. The trunk of the tree is the man integrity, he will be flexible, gracious and with a strong core.

How to have integrity?

Step 1: Do and do what you say you do. If you are not sure you are going to do it, don't say it. Or say that you are not sure you are going to do it.

Step 2: If you realize that you are not going to be able to do what you said, communicate clearly and update your word in truth according to the present reality.

Step 3: If you broke your word, say it clearly and come back in integrity. Do not apologize unless you mean it and definitely do not be apologetic.

Breaking integrity is human and communicating it brings you back in integrity. If it does not feel like it brings you back in integrity, offer and act of kindness or an act of service that feels like bringing you back in integrity. No guilt is necessary. You do not have to feel guilty for breaking your word, you just need to come back in integrity.

The three pose from Qi Gong helps to develop an inner attitude of integrity and verticality specific to the three which roots are deeply established into the ground and it’s branches are strong. This posture is recommended to be executed for 30 minutes, however, in the beginning start with small intervals of 3 to 5 minutes and increase gradually.

Honesty is a very important quality of a man and it takes immense courage for a man to be honest primarily with himself and then with others. Accepting his own flaws and patterns is an act of honesty. No man is perfect, and a man deserves to be loved and appreciated for who he is. If a man is not honest, the others will not know him at all, and they will have a distorted image about him. Honesty is also important because lying is just pushing unresolved issues back into the subconscious. Uncovering the lies in our life can bring a lot of healing and awareness. The first person we are usually lying to is ourselves.

We do this constantly, every day, by telling lies to ourselves. One of the most of common lies we are telling ourselves are: "I am not good enough", "I don't deserve to be loved the way I am", "I deserve to suffer", "Life is hard" and you can fill in the dots. 90% of the things we are telling ourselves is not an absolute truth or is a lie. If we ask another human being their opinion about ourselves, we will hear a different answer. It is all about perception.

In order to be an honest man, we need to stop lying to ourselves about who we are, about what we want or anything else. By telling the truth we will find out who loves us and who does not love us.

The second step in practicing honesty is with other people. Practice telling the truth to other people. The best thing you can do is to talk about yourself: "I feel", "my perception is", "I am perceiving this", etc. In this way you can be honest and not hurt other people. This is the peaceful truth.

The third step is to be honest with your family. Let them know how you feel when they do something, let them know what you think they mean by their actions, let them know how they occur to you when they say or do something that bothers you.

A simple method for analysing how we feel about a certain situation is to fill in the blanks for the following sentences:

1. My reaction was when: ... Someone said or did something.

2. The thought that I think is: ...

3. The emotion that I am experiencing is: ...

4. The sensation in my body is: ...

5. What do I believe that made me react like that:? ...

• How do I judge the person who did that? As a helping question.

• What do I think about a person who is like that (the way I am judging the person who did that)?

• How am I in my life like that person?

Your negative belief is the one that makes you react in a certain way. When we aim to be 100% honest with ourselves, we will realize how many negative beliefs and judgements we have about everything, including ourselves.

Being 100% honest makes us feeling good in our skin, unapologetic for who we are and peaceful speakers of our own truth.

A man who shows compassion to others is a man who cares about people and who cares about himself. The first person to show compassion to is yourself. You cannot t truly be compassionate to others if you do not show compassion to yourself.

Compassion for oneself can manifest as forgiveness for ones mistakes, self-care, a good sleep when tired, a walk in the nature, a day off when the body needs rest, getting out of a toxic relationship, meditation, yoga, dancing and whatever else your body, mind and spirit needs. Compassion for others can take the form of understanding the differences, listening from the heart for the sake of allowing the other to let out their story, helping others feel better, serving the community, forgiving the ones that did you wrong, doing a random act of kindness, be kind with animals, etc.

Compassion is written on the face of the man. A masculine and compassionate man is very attractive for the opposite sex because he inspired care, love and power. The woman will perceive that in a man by her natural heart Intelligence. A masculine man who loves cats is a perfect example of a man who will attract a lot of feminine energy around him.
Compassion is an absolutely necessary ingredient for a complete and upgraded man, man 3.0.
I used to be very masculine, charming and I would attract many women around me and aspects of my immature masculine liked that a lot. When I started to develop also compassion, I became mature, complete, I became a man of honour and a man of word. I became a kind masculine man.

Some people confuse rudeness with masculinity. Being rude is an aspect of the unhealthy warrior energy in a man and it can be useful at times of war, at times of fight. When we want peace, love and compassion in our life, we need to develop more the lover and the King energies which are integrity, compassion and honesty.

Self-awareness is very important for a man. Also, it is important to speak it out loud when man discovers or find himself doing something silly. A man who recognizes his flaws and admit them verbally and with sense of humour is a man who is not only self-aware, but also self-confident. Nobody is perfect. We are selfish beings who want to look good in front of others and who have dark sides that we are unwilling to admit, not even to ourselves. Uncovering this aspect of ourselves, admit it and laugh about it will set us free. This is the true self-awareness. Also uncovering the lies we are telling ourselves and discovering the gold that is in us it is the other side of the coin of awareness. I think this is what Jesus meant when said something like discover the truth and truth will set you free. I am not religious; I did not read the Bible and I do not know the exact words of Jesus. What I know is that every time I uncover a dark secret about my subconscious mind, and I laugh about it, I feel lighter and more connected with myself.

I would say, uncover the dark side of your subconscious and that will set you free from your own shadow. By doing this, a man becomes more and more aware about his flaws, about the hidden programs from his subconscious and owns them with courage and detachment. Admitting your flaws in front of a woman, makes her trust you, makes her know that you will not lie to her. A man who is self-aware emanate an energy of integrity and self-confidence.

How you become self-aware? Read my first book “Be You And Feel Good” and put it into practice. Observe your patterns, understand your wounds, own your triggers, feel your emotions and open your heart. It is easy to say, and it takes practice to master it.

Self-awareness is the only path to true happiness, a happiness which is not sugar coated in looking good masks. It is that happiness that you know who you are and you accept yourself fully and work on what makes you feel good.
I will proclaim self-awareness as the absolute quality of a man who is masculine, powerful and loving.
Does not matter how many qualities a man has, if he is not self-aware, he is running a subconscious pattern without even knowing it. That is the definition of enslavement. We are only the slaves of our own subconscious until we become self-aware.

Become a free man by understanding your emotional wounds, your behavioural patterns, your mind needs, your body needs and your heart needs. It took me many years and tens of books on the subject until I understood how we function as human beings and I shared with you all in my book and my Udemy training Be You And Feel Good. If you think this is a sales talk, think again, I can recommend you the over two hundred books I read and listen to on Audible. I am offering you the shortcut because I experienced myself the long hard way to awareness and is not always pleasant.

Find your own way to self-awareness, I wish you good luck and have fun along the way.

Taking action comes immediately after self-awareness for a reason. When we become aware, we need to take action, otherwise nothing will change. We will be self-aware and in the same place of enslavement. That is why, if you want to be free and have power in your life you need to take conscious action. A conscious action is an action that is not dictated by a subconscious pattern, but by a conscious mind who understands the effects and consequences of the action. It is recommended that the action is the exact opposite with the action dictated by the subconscious pattern. That action will set you free from the pattern and transform your life 180 degrees. Yes, it is that powerful. That is why is important know your patterns, in order to spot them in action and then act consciously.
The ugly part of being unconscious of the subconscious patterns is that they are a blind spot for you and not for the others. Once you become aware of your own subconscious patterns and you communicate them with your partner or with your friends, they will admire you and respect you for being self-aware, simply because they could see your pattern all along.

Taking action to correct the pattern is the absolute act of courage for a man and it will inspire respect from others.

What is my pattern that I am manifesting now? Ask yourself this question until you feel the answer in your body physically, because the pattern resides in the deep tissue of your physical body. I do not go into the scientifical details of this, you can read Bruce Lipton, Peter Levine and Gabor Mate's books for this. Take the action, ask the question: what is my pattern now?

Question two: where did I learn this in my childhood or adolescence? Recall the memory vividly in your mind with eyes closed.

Action three: go there and comfort your inner child or adolescent with your adult self mind. Nourish your inner child, acknowledge him and offer him love by bringing him into your heart.

Action four: come back from the mind into the present moment.

These are four simple steps to rewrite a subconscious pattern. There are many other ways and the most commonly used is trough sufferance. It is your choice.

An intrinsic quality of a man is the one to penetrate. Starting from the physical body, the Universe created man with the ability to penetrate the woman. In this way, a man needs to penetrate with his presence and power the entire world he lives in.

The same power is meant to penetrate problems, challenges, pain, fear, disappointment, anger, laziness and anything that does not serve his true purpose. The power of penetration goes beyond this, a powerful man is penetrating with his presence every space he steps in and his presence is radiant and firm. His ability to penetrate makes him charismatic and powerful. He already penetrated his job with his ability to give his full presence and dedication, he penetrated the heart of his woman with his love and commitment. He penetrated his woman desire with his ability to make love with her for her own pleasure and excitement. He penetrated the hearts of his close friends with his ability to be there for them. He penetrated the world with his unwavering desire to offer himself as a gift to the world through his mission. He penetrated the Universe with his humbleness and love for all human beings. He penetrated his fear with courage. He penetrated his desires with discipline. He penetrated his weaknesses with his ability to ask for help. He penetrated his anger with compassion. He penetrated his shame with humour. He penetrated his sadness with love.

Like the masculine principle penetrates continuously the feminine principle, creating a perfect harmony of Yin and Yang, of Shiva and Shakti of Adam and Eve, in the same way, the man has the ability to penetrate his own oscillations and using them as fuel for his goals.

A man penetrates the world with his attitude and with his actions. Action in itself has the power to penetrate any obstacle. Unceasing action penetrates any obstacle in the way of a man's mission.

When his woman gets angry at him, man needs to penetrate her heart with his love and her mind with his undivided attention. In order to be able to penetrate a woman emotion, man needs to be healed of his own emotional turmoil.

When man is healed, he is able to be detached of his woman emotions and not take personally her moods and her words. The three never complains about the wind, he bends his branches gracefully while his roots go deeper and his trunk stay still and strong. In the same way, man will let the angry words fly away like the wind, keeping his full and undivided presence in the present moment while having no thoughts at all and his heart and mind focused on one goal, love and adoration for his beloved woman. This is the power of penetration.

The reward for being able to penetrate at this level is immense, the woman will trust her man's love, stability and commitment and she will offer herself fully and surrender to her man's love and direction.

In order to be able to penetrate with such a power, presence and love man needs to be in love, he has to be healed from his own emotional traumas and be able to contain his own vital and sexual energy through sexual continence. 

Man 3.0 needs to transcend his ego in order to attain true happiness. Transcending his own limitations will open an entirely new space of possibilities. A lot of the times, men are caught up in patterns that are not serving their life purpose. These patterns are the ones that need to be understood and transcended.

What does transcendence mean? Transcending means to go beyond, to reach a higher understanding and go beyond the patterns. To go beyond the patterns we need to identify, accept, understand and take action, an action which comes from understanding rather than from reacting.

Transcending it is possible when the man is engaged on a path of self-discovery and he always keeps the final goal in mind. In this way, the mere turbulences of life do not take him off his path. The ability to be cantered inside the storm, is the ability of a man to transcend that which is temporary.

Transcending can be attained by stillness, especially by the stillness of the mind. Mindless thoughts running through a man's mind can take away his stillness. Stillness of the mind can be attained not by the absence of thoughts but by the ability to detach from thoughts and remain still. A man who does not give importance to ephemeral thoughts is a man on his path of transcending his own limitations.

Transcending can also be attained by focus. Practicing focus permits the mind to enter of state of zero, a state of transcendence. Focus can be practiced from actions, to eye gaze upon a point on the wall to the contemplation of the horizon.

Another very important aspect of transcendence is to transcend what others do to you. In life we are given with situations where people criticize us, hurt us, ignore us, fight us, etc. Transcending everything that is done to us is crucial for moving forward, towards our goal. A horse does not stop for every dog that barks. A way to practice transcending what other people do is to acknowledge that they are doing things because the need to for themselves, not particularly doing it to us. Sometimes it is hard to think this way and that is why we need to practice this new way of thinking.

Man, feel your pain! On the journey to become free men, we need to feel our pain. Inside of us there is a little child. If we deny our inner child, he will fuck up our life. We carry with us the needy child, the wounded child, the brat, the wounded adolescent, the rejected child, the neglected child, the abandoned child, the child who was treated unfairly, the humiliated child and much more. This is the reason I offer the introspective question: "how old are you?" in my book “Be You And Feel Good”. When we act the way we act, who is acting? Is our mature, loving and conscious self or the inner child? These are questions only you can answer to yourself with radical honesty and humbleness.

Feel your pain in your body and get free of it. Many men, like myself, get stuck in the fear of feeling their pain for years. By connecting to the pain in a conscious way and feeling it fully in our body, we become free.
Naomi Eisenberger, a social psychologist from the University of California, concluded through experiments that rejection and abandonment trigger the same part of the brain as physical pain. According to my personal experience this is true, when I embody my emotional pain, I feel it as physical pain as well. After this process is complete, the physical and emotional pain are gone, and I feel lighter and happy. It is like healing after a long and painful disease.

When we act from pain, our actions do not follow our purpose and sometimes even destroy everything we already built. This is why is important to allow the emotions to run through our body, feel what we have to feel and move on with our life.

If you have a confidant or you are open to share your emotions with your partner, it will help you to transcend even faster the unnecessarily suppressed pain. A word of warning here is to be careful not to stay in the state of feeling a little bit the emotion and talk about it and not going full on into your body. Talking about emotions without feeling the emotions fully in the body is much less efficient and sometimes it takes years to solve an emotional wound. When we embody the emotion fully in our body and feel the pain, you can transcend an emotional trauma in minutes. Every time, after such an experience, allow yourself to relax and receive love from your partner or even love that you offer to yourself. For example, rest in bed, doing absolutely nothing for few hours or take a relaxing shower or just sit in silence to allow your body to self-regulate into the new state of freedom and healing. Like with physical wounds, emotional wounds need some time to close, after a heavy operation.

Feeling your pain fully makes you free, more confident and sexier.

Man, feel your pain! And be free!

A man is born to protect. He is the warrior and the King. He is the guardian of the castle. He is the protector of the Queen. He has been given the physical strength to protect the gentleness and the beauty of his woman.

"A woman's highest calling is to lead a man to his soul so as to unite him with Source. A man's highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed" - Cherokee proverb.

The role of protection has an intrinsic masculine charge. It is like a loving warrior energy which kills the enemy in order to protect love. In the modern times, the enemy does not ride a horse and threaten the castle gates. The enemy can be a negative belief of the woman you love, and your job is to love her and protect her from harming herself with negative thoughts. One of the negative beliefs can be that she is not good enough or that she is doing something wrong. These negative beliefs can be very present in the ways she keeps her body posture, the way she speaks and the way she reacts. And this is just an example. Many women can believe that they are not beautiful, or they are not attractive, or they don't deserve to be loved, etc. Whatever the belief is, your duty as a man is to love her with that. Never try to change her or to fix her. Just love her and be there for her, this is all she needs in order to heal and rewrite the negative belief. It might take a while. You need to be patient. As a rule of thumb, a woman, when she acts crazy or you don't know what she wants, what she needs or what she is complaining about remember one thing, she is asking you two questions: Do you love me? Would you be here for me when I need you?
She will test you, she will push you away, she will reject you, she will withdraw and you have to be in your centre, solid like a mountain and loving like a King of Hearts and repeat two sentences: I love you. I am here for you.

This makes you man 3.0, this makes you a Heart Warrior. This is how you protect your woman from the worst enemy, her subconscious patterns and negative beliefs.
Another aspect of protection is to offer the woman the stability that she needs. You don't have to be Bill Gates, you just need to create a safe space with what you have. To create a nest for the feminine energy to expand. A woman will only fully open up to you when you create the necessary physical space for her to be in. That is why the chapter "The Base" is so important, because is the masculine energy that contains so that the feminine energy can expand.

Another primal instinct of a woman is to trust solid, muscular and physically powerful man. You don't have to become Arnold Schwarzenegger, just push the damn floor couple of times a week, it will build up your body, your stamina and your self-confidence.

Also woman can become aware of this primal need and start looking for something deeper than only muscles, but that for another book.

Sexual power and vital power will make your woman trust you and follow you. If you are able to control and sublimate your instincts she will feel it and she will feel safe and protected because on one hand you keep your power and on the other hand you make something else more important than personal instinctual pleasure. That induces safety and trust for a woman who is open to her own femininity.

The Heart Warrior is able to contain his woman energy.

Women feel energy, they are energy, so as a man, you have to learn energy in order to be able to contain her.

The first form of energy you need to learn to contain is her emotional energy. Emotion comes from "emovare" which in Latin language means "to set in motion". You need to be able to contain and witness her setting in motion her energy. You can also put her energy in motion if you are already an advanced energy practitioner. If you are new to energy and you are asking yourself "how can I contain her energy?", here are a few practices to get you started.
1. Breathe with her. Synchronize as much as possible your breath with her breath, especially when you are in the intimacy with her. This will make her feel safe and open up to you emotionally and erotically.
2. Dance with her. You don't have to be a dancer, just put some slow music and move from left to right and right to left and move her on the rhythm of the music. This action combines music, movement, dance, connection and touch which are all elements of inner balance and well-being.
3. Look into her eyes. Do eye gazing with your woman for at least 10 minutes. While you do this exercise, make sure you are present in your body and breathe as deep as you can without forcing. What is the result of this? You will see. Expect nothing and be open to anything might come up. You can hold hands for better connection and safety.
4.Visit http://kamasundari.com for more couple exercises and don't hesitate to contact us at info@kamasundari.com if you have any questions or you want to share with us your experiences with the above ones.

How can you contain your woman? You have to be empty so that you can be a good container. Empty your stomach by fasting in order to amplify the masculine energy in yourself. An empty container can hold more. Empty your thoughts so that you can hear the voice of her heart. This is the hardest one. In order to empty our thoughts and connect to our own heart we need to practice heart intelligence exercises. Meditation on the heart chakra, hugs, couple dancing and many more will facilitate you to enter the space of the heart. Imagine a sphere in the middle of your chest and put your full attention in the centre of the sphere. Breathe deep inside your chest. This is a very simple and efficient practice for cantering in the heart.

Always expect the unexpected, embrace it and love it! I know how hard that is for a masculine man with clear direction and deep need for stability and peace. The woman is the energy in the relationship. If you are stuck, she will move you.

Then she will trust you again to give the direction. It is a game of polarity. The woman is the fire that burns the past to create a new feature. The woman, with her energy will create situations in your life so that you can start over anew. If she wants a new fridge, the old fridge will break by miracle. If she wants a new floor, the radiator will burst and flood the house. If she wants a new house, the landlord will decide to renovate the house and kick all the tenants out. If she wants a new country, she will travel to it and get stuck there. And these are just few examples from my own experience.

As men, we need to learn to embrace the ever-changing feminine nature and trust. For this we need to understand our own fears and limitations. The woman will challenge our fears and limitations until we get free from them. You need to keep up, embrace her energy, accept it, receive it and love it. You will not naturally do this. Men naturally will reject the feminine energy; we want peace and love and comfort. In Indian mythology they say that you have to embrace Kali before you get access to Tara. Kali is transformation and Tara is Love. As a man who wants to receive his woman gifts fully has to embrace both energies, the energy of transformation and the energy of Love. You can explore more about this path if you want to go deeper into accepting and embracing your woman fully at http://KamaSundari.com

Your woman is your mirror and your guide, not only your lover. Another way to receive your woman fully is to trust her intuition. She is connected to spheres of intuition that men cannot access as easy as they do as women. This is by design. Man can experience high intuition too and I am an example of that. However, in the relationship with my woman, I don't need to do that, all that I need is to encourage her to trust and manifest that intuition for us because she is designed for it. Me as a man, I am designed to manifest consciousness and awareness. When couples combine these two qualities together, miracles happen. Receive your woman intuition.
Whatever she is manifesting for you, receive it with your stillness, love and acceptance. You are the container, remember? The container does not judge and does not complain. It is not easy; this is the path of the Heart Warrior. Practice heart centring in every moment. Centre in the middle of the sphere inside your chest and hold any thoughts in check. Any word you say, any action you take, take it from your heart, not from your mind. This is the ultimate practice of the Heart Warrior.

I will end this chapter with a meaningful joke. A woman was complaining about her husband. Me and my husband we have different religious views. He does not agree that I am his Goddess.

Men, your woman desire is to be ravished by you in all the ways possible. She wants to be ravished by your presence. She wants to be ravished by your love. She wants to be ravished by your passionate, erotic love making. Make love to your woman good and her heart will be yours forever. Women are more sexual than you think they are. Once they feel safe, they would want to make love more than you, much more than you. Their energy is never ending. As a man you will want to ejaculate and get over with it. For women it is all about intensity and amplifying that intensity more and more. In order to be able to match the intensity of a woman desire you have switched the focus from getting your needs satisfied to getting your woman to the highest peak of orgasm.

Your deepest desire in bed should be to satisfy your woman until she reaches higher and higher states of orgasms. Only by having this attitude, you can truly satisfy a woman's desire ... Barely, because she is infinite energy when she connects to her feminine power.
How do you fuck your woman? First of all, get your ass out there and study Tantra and Erotic Alchemy. There is no way I can transmit here over 25 years of knowledge and experience. What I can share are few tips and tricks and a frame of Erotic Atmosphere that you can create so that your sexual act becomes a special act, a sacred act, in the sense that you value and respect the sexual act and take time for it and dedicate your full attention and presence.

The first stage is to prepare the space. Light few candles. It is as simple as that. Candlelight relaxes the nervous system and creates intimacy. Your woman will be more open and relaxed only if you light some candles in the room. Please make sure the candles are burning safety and there is no risk to burn her hair. That will ruin the positive effect of the candles. Bring some water next to bed because she will be thirsty at some stage and you also need to stay hydrated when you engage in amorous play. Last but not least, put some soft, relaxing, sensual music. Music creates miracles in the bedroom when chosen wisely.

The second stage is to create the sacred space through consecration. Offer the act of making love to a higher consciousness: Shiva, Shakti, Universal Intelligence, God, Great Beneficial Spirit etc. This stage will integrate your act of making love into the harmony of the Universe. It will create a higher meaning for the sexual act than the simple desire and pleasure. In this way, the sexual act becomes special, sacred and healing. Here is my formula for consecration: "Divine Couple Shiva-Shakti (Yin and Yang) we consecrate to you this amorous play with love, transfiguration and sexual continence. Please make us feel your inspiration, support and protection in order to achieve higher states of orgasm and extasy". Try it out and see how your sexual experiences are different.

The third stage is transfiguration. Find something in your partner and celebrate it.

For example, admire the beauty of your partner, or the care that she manifests for you or anything else that you genuinely admire in her.
Find something in your partner that you admire and look into your partner eyes and observe that quality in silence, with a smile on your face. Do this for at least 5 minutes. In the beginning it can be intense so you can alternate open eyes periods with periods when the eyes are closed. Admire in silence even without telling your partner what you are admiring, not during the transfiguration phase. You can tell your partner after the love making act. Talking can take you away from focusing on what is important, the present moment.

The fourth stage is the prelude. Start with gentle touches and build up the erotic energy. If there is strong sexual attraction the gentle caresses will build connection, love and safety. If there is little sexual attraction, the gentle caresses and playful biting on the neck or chest will build up sexual and erotic attraction. Going directly for the genital organs during the first stage of the prelude is not recommended because for woman it is too direct and for men can lead to premature ejaculation. In the second part of the prelude you can offer your lover a yoni (female genitalia as per Tantra) massage and cunnilingus. In Tantra we recommend to first offer woman several orgasms through cunnilingus and by the use of fingers and only after that penetrate her. Men should be selfless during the prelude and allow the woman to warm up her sexual and erotic energy.

The fifth stage is the love making act with penetration. In this stage man needs to start slow and build up his own energy to match up woman's energy. It is recommended to accompany every movement with a breath so that the sexual and erotic energy is synchronized with the breath. This stage is not a competition. Take your time. You can penetrate her eight times superficial and one time deep. This is a technique from Taoism that helps man to control his sexual potential and build up higher states of orgasm. Pay attention to the woman sounds, moans, breath, body movements and facial expressions. Fuck her with your presence. Woman feel much more than men during love making, because of how we are designed. Women are taking in during love making and the act is taking place inside of her body, inside of her emotions. Women during intense states of orgasm can cry, laugh, shout or scream and that is the emotional body moving. Men are simple. The act is happening outside and that is why we need to learn from woman how to feel the orgasm deeper, inside our body. Men are not less than women, we all have important roles, different roles. Woman will teach us how to feel the orgasm deeper and we teach them how to channel the orgasmic energy upwards, through our attention and presence.

This stage can last for many hours if the man controls his sexual potential and does not ejaculate. Read Mantak Chia's book "Multi orgasmic man" to find out more about this ancient art of making love without ejaculation.

The sixth stage is the postlude. Stay with your woman for at least ten minutes in a hug, allowing her to come back to her bodily regular senses and allowing her nervous system to feel safe, loved and contained. Do not do sudden moves and definitely do not leave her suddenly or push her away. Women after making love are very sensitive. Allow her the time and space to come back to her normal sense of herself.

After this, both lovers need to stay in their own energy for up to seven hours. It is not recommended to sleep together after love making. Ideally man or woman will go for seven hours away from each other in order to rebuild their own individual energy in a new and uplifted way. After seven hours, lovers can come back to each other and carry on with their loving interaction.

This is a simple frame for transforming the mundane sex into sacred sex or at least, special sex. Trust me man, after you make love with a woman in this way, she will never forget you.

Good luck.

If you don't want to follow this frame, remember one rule of thumb, give her orgasms and ride the waves of her orgasms. This will make her ecstatic and you will learn how to savour pleasure from her orgasmic energy.

A lover true happiness is to make his woman happy and sexually and erotically fulfilled.

Love is a constant practice for Man 3.0. as Neil Donald Walsh is asking in his books "Conversations with God", "What would Love do now?". For some men, it is easy to say "I Love You" and mean it. In the same time, there is always a choice between Ego desires and Love actions. Actions done out of Love are always nourishing for your beloved and yourself. Actions done out of Love are kind with the other and with yourself. Love has always a higher perspective and includes possibilities, new possibilities outside of the box of the limited Ego perspective. Love actions are inclusive, considering the other's point of view.

What Love is? Love is a word of four letters. Listen, Offer, Visualize, Emphasize.

Listen to your partner words and also listen to your partner unspoken words. Listen to your partner fears and desires. Listen to your partner needs. Listen to her heart rather than her mind. Listen to your partner while you are connected with the centre of the sphere of your heart, in the middle of your chest. Listen to your partner heart voice by focusing on what she leaves unsaid rather than what she is saying. Harville Hendrix in his book "Keep the love", offers a simple frame for listening to your partner: 1. I got that, 2. Is there more? 3. That makes sense 4. That must have felt ....
Listening to your partner without offering your opinion or solution is Love. Listen for the sake of listening. Listen to understand and connect. Listen to get the other point of view entirely without any additional comments from your point of view.

You are entitled to a point of view and it can be different from your partner's point of view. When you listen however, leave your point of view aside for a later communication. Listen to get your partner deeply and fully.

Offer your presence to your woman. Offer your full attention as often as possible. Offer your love in forms of gifts, acts of service, quality time, non-sexual touch and words of affirmation as described by Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages".

Offer your commitment to be next to her when she needs you. Any woman who wants to be with you, will appreciate you being next to her from little things, like buying a sofa from IKEA to visiting her family for Christmas.

Offer your time to your woman. Women appreciate spending time with them.

Offer your body in her service, to make her feel good.

Offer your heart fully and unequivocally devoted to her.
Visualise the future of your relationship with her.

Visualise her in her best shape, health and mood.

Visualise your relationship as harmonious, beautiful and fulfilling.
Visualise yourself in your best shape, health and mood.

There is a way to look at each other in which you transform the way the other behaves. Some are calling this transfiguration; I call it visualization. Visualize the other person the way you want them to be. Observe when you visualise actively the other person how her behaviour changes.

Empathy is one of the key ingredients of Love. Em-Pathos comes from the Greek language and it literally means "in emotions". The ability to feel the other person's emotions is empathy. Feeling how the other is feeling emotionally is as close as it gets to be in the other's experience of life and emotions.
Being emphatic makes the other person feel heard, understood and validated. Being emphatic and communicating that we understand how the other is feeling, makes the other person feel loved.

Love is much more than this and many aspects simply cannot be covered in such a short chapter.
From the relationship point of view, love means acceptance. Accepting the other one as she is, is as close as it gets to unconditional love. Usually a relationship starts with romantic love and it grows into unconditional love. If there is no acceptance in a relationship, the relationship is doomed to end at some point in time. More about relationships in my next book.

Love is the solution to everything and, if it doesn't work, increase the dose.

The End of this book and the beginning of a new life, full of possibilities for you.

As a man amongst men, I want to be a good man for my family, for my friends, for my colleagues, for the communities I am part of, for the society I live in and for the Planet I live on.

As a child I saw my father as an example of masculinity. He was a great man, he was a man, he was a human being, he was a normal man. As a child, I thought he was a God, at least my subconscious mind thought that. That means that, as an adult, I was becoming my father either I wanted or not. I was becoming everything that I admired in my father and everything that I hated in my father. This is how an overlooked subconscious works.

I went through many processes to rewrite my negative beliefs about masculinity and I am doing the necessary work to be the man that I want to be and not the man that my subconscious wants me to be.

It took one day when I was 37 years old when I finally spoke the magic words: “I need help”. After this moment, my life as a man, totally shifted into a totally new dimension of possibilities. Thank you De’an Matuka for answering my call for help and guide me towards my journey in becoming the man that I am today.

I can write a gratitude chapter, instead I let you browse through the bibliography and find there what it is for you to find for your own journey.

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, originally published: June 1, 1997

No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated), by Dr Robert Glover, originally published: 2000

Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self, by Lise Bourbeau, originally published: 12 September 2000

Finding and Keeping Love: An Imago-Based Program for Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix, originally published: October 2008

The Five Live Languages, by Garry Chapman, originally published: August 2013

Conversations with God, by Donald Walsh, originally published: 1995

ManKind Project, Founded: 1984, https://mankindproject.org/