Loving Conscious Relationships & Couples Counseling Toolkit

In this lecture I explain how to plot the current reality (CR) of your relationship, together with a 5 year stretch goal as your desired outcome (DO). This then enables a healthy tension to rise, motivating you to work out 'How' you will achieve your desired outcome using the law of attraction (based on the 'Secret'). The 7 bonus lectures then take you into a 'deep dive' exploration of my own '7 golden nuggets' which are essential elements in teaching you how to use this theory EFFECTIVELY.

In this short lecture I link back to the way we can visualise using the law of attraction - montage boards and explain how you can use them in you daily life to 'feed' your desired outcome and communicate with the Quantum Field of Possibilities.

In this meditation video I take you through a guided meditation to prepare you for writing your 'relationship love letter'. Please allow 20 minutes for the meditation and some time afterwards to write everything you love about your relationship. Even if you don't currently have a relationship, or even if it is currently 'damaged', it is vital that you project forward and write this letter as if you have ALREADY attained the relationship you desire. Use your Desired Outcome text from the previous lecture to help you, be expressive, bold and honest about what you desire.

The universe will respond and mirror back to you what you desire and have written in this letter, so be sure to write what you want and think clearly about why you want this things you want! It's a bit like a Gene in a bottle! Make sure you write this letter in the PRESENT TENSE, as if you already have the relationship of your dreams...

In this final lecture in the series of 'Conscious Intention Setting' I explain how you can engage the Quantum Field of Possibilities' further by projecting out the emotion and essence of your 'Relationship Love Letter' (please make sure you have written it using the meditation in the previous lecture and followed the instructions in the description).

I also share my own personal experience when this exact process worked for me 18 months after my divorce - such a revelation and wonderful surprise!

In this video we explore the differences between those who have a preference for thinking and those with a preference for feeling.

We learn how we can use this understanding of ourselves and our partner, to develop new opportunities for deeper levels of intimacy in our relationship.

Use the Dinner Party technique, to learn how to bring your heart, mind, body and soul into the decisions you make personally and within your relationship.

By balancing your feelings, thoughts, behaviours and higher purpose, you can create wonderful new levels of self and relationship awareness.

Bring Cognitive Behavioural Theory into your relationship to snap out of unhelpful patterns and habits and to solve challenges and issues quickly and efficiently.

We introduce you to the powerful Ikigai model, designed to help you find your relationship's higher purpose. This ancient Japanese model has been used for centuries by individuals to help them find their life purpose. In this lecture we give the model a unique twist by using it in the sense of understanding and developing your relationship at a profound level.

In this lecture, Neil and Sonya demonstrate their Relationship Ikigai by using sticky notes and discussion to represent the Purpose of their relationship. This example enables you to work closely with your partner to establish a deep understanding of the meaning and purpose of your relationship.

If you would like to learn more about Ikigai and how you can use this model to identify your personal life purpose please contact Neil and Sonya at mail@mindfulneya.com

Ikigai is a powerful technique to support you at a life or career crossroads.

Ikigai is an ancient Japanese technique for finding your reason for being, or your life’s purpose. It is formed from answering 4 key questions:

1. What do I love?

2. What am I good at?

3. What does the world need from me?

4. What can I be rewarded for?

Ikigai is the sweet spot that defines what you are good at and love, that the world values and for which it will reward you.

It is relatively easy to find what you love and are good at and perhaps for which you could also be paid for, but this may leave you feeling unvalued if the world doesn’t really need it.

If you are good at something, the world values receiving it from you and will pay you for it, it sounds great, but if you don’t love doing this, then you may be left feeling empty.

Perhaps you enjoy what you do, are paid for it and the world needs it but you aren’t very good at it? Then you may feel uneasy that you’ll be found out.

Many of us are doing what we love, the world takes it from us because it’s of value and we find we are good at it but have not yet found how to be rewarded from it, or monetise it, then we’ll be happy but poor.

By following the Ikigai technique it’s possible to find what we call the sweet spot, where loving what you do, being good at it, being rewarded from it and it adding value to your world, all collide in perfect harmony.

This is Ikigai and everyone who finds their Ikigai feels motivated, inspired, creative and passionate about every day, in both work and play. Their relationships improve, they align with those who will co-create a wonderful life journey of self-discovery, continuous learning and development, gratitude and providing valuable service to others.

If you would like to learn more about Ikigai and how you can use this model to identify your personal life purpose please contact Neil and Sonya at mail@mindfulneya.com

In this video I talk about the importance of honouring and respecting your arrival point into a relationship.

If you are arriving in a new relationship after being single, divorced or bereaved, when is the right time to start a new relationship?

There is probably no single answer to this question, so let's think about how to figure out when the time is right for you.

We all arrive into a relationship with what we might call 'baggage'. This baggage can be both positive and challenging, often in equal measure.

The most wonderful relationships happen when partners accept wholeheartedly what they both bring to the relationship.

In this lecture, I explore the sensitive subject of infidelity and offer up my own perspective and experience in dealing with this challenge during my previous marriage. I explore different ways of dealing with infidelity and discuss the potential outcomes with their consequences. I use the change curve to describe the different stages we go through when faced with shock and how to navigate through this transforming process. I finally offer insight into how one can decide on a way forward, when trust is broken. Ultimately it's all about conscious, mindful CHOICE and identifying the depth of your loving motivation.

One of the fundamental building blocks of a great intimate relationship is to be truthful, open and vulnerable with your partner.

This is not always as easy at it sounds, so in this video we explore things you can do to be consistently open and honest.

We are all human and we all self-sabotage ourselves, to a greater or lesser extent.

As we build self-awareness and become more mindful and conscious in our relationships we can reduce the often negative impacts and limitations of story-telling to ourselves.

Being present, in the relationship, rather than focusing on the future or past and accepting our innate fears of complete intimacy and vulnerability, can help take our relationships to a new level.

Our archetypal preferences are incredibly powerful and innate qualities that we bring to our relationships.

In this video, we briefly explore our child archetype and how this influences what we bring to, and what we look for in, a partner.

We also delve into the following example archetypes:

• The Dreamer - over trusting, fear of being punished, goal to be happy

• The Orphan - cynicism, fear of being left out, goal to belong

• The Mother - can be exploited, fear of appearing selfish, goal to help others

• The Explorer - always moving on, fear of being trapped, goal of experiencing everything

• The Hero - fiercely competitive, fear of exposing their weakness, goal to protect

• The Magician - can be manipulative, fear of being disliked, goal to continuously grow

• The King - always in charge, fear of being overthrown, goal to create prosperity

In this lecture I raise the importance of showing vulnerability in our lives. This process acts as a catalyst for change and transformation. It breaks down barriers, builds trust and respect between partners and also increases self worth - even though it seems a counterintuitive thing to do! I describe ways in which we can increase our use of vulnerability - by essentially building our courage first.

In this lecture I explain how personality preference can potentially influence a persons willingness to be vulnerable (so raising this as a point to look out for in your communications). I also suggest ways in which both parties in a relationship can practise vulnerability is a safe and secure environment to build confidence and prepare before using this skill within the relationship itself. The aim is to ultimately integrate vulnerability and open sharing as a healthy habit going forward and using it as a catalyst for relationship transformation.

Here you will learn about the theory of the typical 'stages of relationship' that most relationships will go through in cyclically.   

In this video you will learn how you can get yourself in a good inner space so that you can become accessible to a new relationship or remain open to growth and development within an existing relationship.

Here you will learn about what attachment theory, how its developed and why its so important to have an awareness of your own attachment style in relationships.

Take a quiz to find your attachment style https://www.scienceofpeople.com/attachment-styles/.

Here you will learn the characteristics, beliefs and life lessons of the the two different styles of secure attachment style and anxious  preoccupied attachment style. 

Here you will learn the characteristics, beliefs and life lessons of the the two different styles of dismissive avoidance and fearful avoident. 

Here you will learn the benefits of integrating a regular gratitude practice and personal sharing time into your loving relationship- here through the creation of a life and relationship gratitude journal.   

In this video you will learn how you can do transformational breathwork techniques individually and with you partner. And also how you can do simple cathartic voice exercises together. 

Here we will explore how you can regularly celebrate your loving relationship through mini 'more regular' anniversaries.

This short video summarises where you have got up to in the course and explains how you can obtain a personalised certificate from Soulremember Academy and Neya on completion of the course and final assessment.

I this video you will learn how to do simple massage for your partner and you can incorporate simple emotional release voice work into the massage!

In this video we will explore how you can cathartically work through conflict through fun and simple role play exercises.

Here you will guided through a cleansing meditation that is a wonderful aid when conflict and disconnection has recently arisen.   

Here the well known singing duo 'Tom and Lena' share their recent loving relationship single.... :) (I'm joking about the single part)

Here wee will explore how consumer culture may have effected the way we experience and relate to loving relationships and how we can regain a sense of repair, value and stability within our loving relationships.   

Here we will explore the topic of how we can know if our relationships is really at fault? Or are there other factors that are causing us to feel the way we do....?

Here we will explore how we can keep our sexual lives conscious, sensitive, balanced and full of spirit. 

Have you realised that your relationship exists as an entity in itself?

In this video you will learn that there are three of you in your relationship: you, your partner and your relationship. It is a powerful concept that brings balance and new insights and opportunities for you and your partner.

Learn how to share the essential 'fuelling' of your relationship as, over time, you nurture and develop your intimacy and the value you bring to each other.

In this video we explore ways of finding just how much of yourself you should allow into your relationship for best results.

Is too much unhealthy? Is too little unhealthy?

In this lecture we discuss how important it is to recognise the power of words within all of our life's relationships. We describe the water experiments Dr Masaru Emoto performed which gave rise to some scientific evidence about how words can 'harm us'. We also share a simple yet powerful tool for qualifying the things we say, the '3 gates of communication'.

The aim of this lecture is to raise your awareness about how YOU use words in your daily interactions and how you can become more mindful of the effects they have on your loved ones.

In this lecture we discuss the importance of creating the 'brand' of your relationship. This is the 'face' and 'tone' that you both project in your roles as a couple and how that entity then interacts with the world.

Remember, your relationship is a third entity which exists in its own right between you. When we form a relationship with another, we can choose to create this entity and feed it (nourish it) so it flourishes and thrives.

When you watch other couples you can see and feel the dynamic between them. This is what we want you to become aware of... the dynamic that you are creating between you and your significant other.

This lecture will encourage you to think about what you are both projecting to the outer world and other people, how they may perceive your relationship and how you choose to feed it.

This lecture will help you to gain a basic understanding of Jung's personality preference theory. You will start to see: Where you gain energy from in your life, compared to your partner; How you and your partner gather information from the world around; How you and your partner make decisions based on that information; And finally, how you orientate yourselves in your world.

The over-riding learning from this is that we all have different preferences for behaving and when we are more aware of our own and others' preferences we can adapt our communication style accordingly. 

If you would like an in-depth MBTI Personality Preference consultation, please contact Sonya at sonya@bristolreiki-healingarts.co.uk

In this lecture we discuss how you can get an objective opinion from others about your 'relationship brand'.

You can ask others to give you feedback, either during open conversations or you could plan this in a structured way by compiling a list of questions and asking others to answer anonymously.

This way you can get some very 'real' information about how your relationship (the entity between you) truly comes across to others.

Very often we can become clouded by our own perspective and locked into a certain view that is no longer relevant. It's good to look at things with 'fresh eyes' and other people's observations can help us do this. Do remember though, that feedback from people is also based on their own perspective, so not necessarily truth.

In this lecture I share an amazingly simple, yet powerful technique that will help dissolve conflict because it increases clarity in communication.

Conflict most often arises because of misunderstanding. Misunderstanding is brought about because we are not clear about what we say and how we interpret the other person's view and what they are expressing. We make huge assumptions both in words (language) and also our in personal perceptions.

This tool motivates you to reflect and recall what you think your partner (or a friend, family member or work colleague) has said to you during a discussion or conflict situation.

You aim to 'hit the bullseye' and reflect back with 100% accuracy...but you'll be amazed just how difficult that can be. This opens our minds to how we make assumptions and what we can do about it.

By using this dart board technique you will create a new habit, seeking clarification and understanding and asking your partner to gauge how accurately you have fed back and understood them. Then through this improved understanding, conflict can dissipate and dissolve!

In this lecture I introduce the idea of energy frequencies and heart coherence. I explain how we can connect with the wisdom of our hearts using breath to equalise the frequency at which our hearts resonate. By doing this we can then tap into the innate wisdom within our hearts for guidance on what we need in to introduce into our lives in order to foster healthy loving relationships.

How can we tap into the intelligence and wisdom of our hearts and access the 'Quantum Field of Possibilities'? In this video, I share with you the single most important biological tool we have in our bodies to enable this - our HEART. I then go on to demonstrate how we can monitor our heart coherence with both technology and intuitive sensing. I invite you to use your breath to gain a coherent heart frequency and once you learn how to do this, you can ask your heart what you need to do to change your relationships for the better and indeed any aspect of your life!

In this lecture I summarise the ways in which we can tap into our heart coherence and then how we can integrate those methods into our lives to enhance our loving relationships. I link the idea of heart coherence with the 'Dinner Party' technique to give your heart a voice and also slip in a final piece of inspiring advice from my Reiki Master about following 'the path with a heart' in life.

This is a 'deep dive' communication tool which you can use in your personal relationships to unravel conflict.

Essentially it sets the scene so you can both 'step' into each other's worlds and truly understand where the other person's hurt, challenges and perspectives come from. It enables active listening through a structured process with distinct rules. This is so that a secure and respectful environment is set up so trust and respect can grow from open sharing.

This technique can be used by a couple (provided one partner is willing to facilitate as well as contribute) and it can also be used as a tool within couples counselling sessions; where the qualified counsellor may be willing to take on the facilitator role.

By the end of the session, couples often see a new perspective about their partners' world and challenges. This fosters a growing connection and awareness of each other's traits, behaviours, values and principles.

Sometimes it feels appropriate to stay friends with an ex and for some people this is a healthy and rewarding outcome for a relationship.

In a conscious relationship, what should we think about to establish if this will be the right thing to do?

Accepting the hard truth, that at some point, all relationships will come to an end, we explore a simple technique that allows us to consciously and positively move forward, however our relationship ends.

In this lecture, you will come to understand the importance of being truly self-aware. I will teach you about the concept of 'energy broadcasting' and how this process influences your interior and exterior world. This is the first step to enable you to effectively use the law of attraction.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).

During this lecture you will understand how your mind tries to control your world. I will enlighten you by explaining that you have choice about where you place your focus and attention. This allows you to change your energetic broadcasting frequency, so giving you back control over your mind.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).

This lecture delves even further into the aspect of mind control. I will explain how we all conjure movies in our mind and how these can influence our mood and behaviour. This realisation gives you the opportunity to change what you imagine and therefore manifest.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).

Now that you have understood how your energy and mind influence what you potentially desire, I give you tools and techniques to design the life you seek. These tools are essential steps in the manifesting process.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).

In this lecture, I explain how important it is for you to use the power of visualisation to rewire your brain to start creating a new outcome. I also encourage you to use emotion to amplify the things you desire and want to manifest. Only then will the universe really listen.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).

By this stage you will be well on your way to manifesting what you want in your life, but one key element remains. I explain the duality of attachment and surrender. You will understand that as humans we find it hard to resist the 'how', yet the universe requires us to trust and give it free rein for manifestation.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).

In this lecture, I share with you the final stage (icing on the cake) for using the law of attraction for manifestation. I explain how opening the door to the Quantum Field of Possibilities will enrich your intuitive guidance system. Your intuition is essentially the conduit, or messenger, between you and the quantum field. I explain how miraculous healing can work if we are willing to 'take out the slides' from our mind projector.

(Please note this video is taken from my other course on Udemy 'Ignite Your Healing Potential' so some direct references will not apply to this relationships course. However, the bulk of the video is ESSENTIAL learning if you truly want to manifest in your life going forward).