Life Coaching Course

Whilst all clients are different with different requirements, it is important to at least have some basic standard of what a coach should and should not do. 

Unfortunately there are many people calling themselves coaches, who have never done a coaching course and do not actually provide coaching. 
So having a set of core competencies should be a fundamental requirement for coaches. 

If you were a client and went to see a coach, then obviously you would want to make sure that what you discuss is confidential and not going to end up on Facebook or some other social media platform.
There are some additional codes of ethics a coach should adhere to.

A look at some history of coaching and what coaching really is.

It is important to understand what coaching is and what it is not. When and where do we use coaching and when a coach should rather refer a client to a different support professional.

Often times, especially in business coaching, your client might ask why they should use the service of a coach. They want to see return on investment.
Essentially you need to be able to answer, "What is in it for them?"

As a coach it is useful to have structure to your coaching. However some coaches fall into the trap of being "too" rigid in their coaching.

Do a Google search and you will find that there are thousands of coaching models. 
What is the purpose of a coaching model and which one should you use?
In this section we look at 4 different coaching models and how you might create your own model with your own signature style of coaching.

If I had a dollar for each time a client said, "You are my coach, you must tell me what to do," I would be even richer.

As a coach you should have an coaching agreement. This agreement sets out what your responsibilities are as a coach as well as what is expected from the client.
This example agreement sets out the topics that should be covered within your agreement, from pricing, lateness policy, confidentiality etc. 

As a coach it is important to understand the use of effective feedback. Feedback can be used in various ways and for different reasons.
Example, feedback to the client what you are "understanding or getting" from the client, as well as giving them feedback on how they are doing.
The situation will dictate the type of feedback you give.

There are various frames one can use in coaching and NLP. In this section we will discuss a few of the frames in coaching and in a later section how to use different frames in NLP. Think of a frame as a frame of reference used in a certain context. 

When setting goals, it is important to set goals that will actually lead to the success that the client wants to achieve.
SMART goals have been used for years, however they are actually just the starting point to effective goal setting.
In this section you will learn how to start setting goals with some major additions to the SMART principle and then in further sections, we will start putting the various pieces together. 

The coaching wheel can be used in various ways. In this section we discuss using the wheel of life, as well as how you can use the coaching wheel in business and relationships, among others. 

Utilizing the coaching wheel is a great way to create awareness for the client of where they are in different areas of there life.
It is useful to start a coaching relationship with a coaching wheel. Then redo the coaching wheel later in the coaching relationship to compare how the client has grown through the coaching process. 

We know that it is important to ask the right questions in the coaching process, but what are powerful questions really?

Some people think that the coach should have a bank of questions to ask and as if by magic the client will get to the outcome they wish. This is not the case. 

We all put up with some things in our lives that do not serve us. Sometimes this is quite unconscious. We do this for various reasons. 

This exercise will help you to notice what you are putting up with and how you think you might be benefiting from it.
This is a great exercise to do with your client. There are 2 videos in this section. Watch the first one, then do the exercise, before watching video 2.

Please ensure you watched the previous video and did the exercise before watching this one.

One topic that comes up very regularly from my business coaching clients is issue of time management. Time is one of those things we can't buy or earn back. 
In this section we discuss a number of tools you can use to assist your client with this potential problem. From people who say they don't have time to exercise, or for personal development etc.

Learning to develop an attitude of gratitude can have a huge positive impact on ones life. 

Even in our darkest hours, there is always something to be grateful for.
The Attitude of gratitude and Achievement diaries are two fabulous tools to use with a client to help them realize that all is not lost and they do have so much to be thankful for. 

We have seen and discussed that it is important to ask powerful questions. However to ask powerful questions, one has to first practice effective and active listening.

Have you noticed how many people in today's society don't seem to really listen any more? It is as if what you say goes in one ear and out the other. There is a big difference in hearing and listening. 
Showing you client that you are really paying attention to them is incredibly important in coaching, but how do you do it? 

Here are some things a coach should bare in mind and remember during the coaching process. 

As we move into the NLP section of the training, it is useful to understand how NLP came about and who some of the inspirations were of this set of techniques. 

The NLP communication model looks at what we do as we communicate. What we do with the information that comes into us and how that then affects how we behave accordingly.

The pattern interrupt is a very useful technique to interrupt a certain behaviour. Think of it as throwing a switch and changing train tracks so that the train heads in a new direction. 

Much of what we do is unconscious. People like to think that they are in control of what they do and we are to a large extent. However there are many things we do without consciously thinking about it. Example, think of a bad habit. Consciously trying to change the habit is extremely difficult. One can not always get things done on will power alone. Learning, behaviour and change is unconscious. We can create new behaviour and change very easily if we get the conscious and unconscious mind working together. 

In this section we look at how to use peripheral vision to enhance the way you take in information.The learning state is an amazing technique, not just for learning and recall of information, but also public speaking and so much more. 

In this section we look at how to give yourself the best chance of success in every thing that you do. People often talk a good game, but when it comes down to doing, they lack the bluster. 

These 5 principles are simple in themselves, but combined give you a much better chance of achieving what you set out to do.

Often when people set goals they say they want to be happier, or something like that. It is important to understand the difference between a state and a goal.

One key difference is that a state is something that you can have instantaneously, as it is only a choice. Now there are ways to help attain those states when things seem a little tough. There is a big difference between what a state is and a what goal is. 

You have a certain reason why you are taking this training.
in this section I want you to right down what your goal is for doing this course. Make it so big, that when you achieve it, that this will be one of the most important courses you have ever done. 
Not because of the training itself, but because of what you achieve because of it.

The keys to an achievable outcome is almost like the NLP equivalent of a coaching model to some extent. However it is actually more than that. 

Often when clients set goals, they are a little flaky. They are not clear on what the goal is and how to start. Doing the keys to an achievable outcome is actually a step I would do with my client even before we look at setting a SMART goal.

The way you think about somebody changes how you will behave towards them. The presuppositions of NLP are 14 beliefs we want to hold about our clients. They are not necessarily true, but rather convenient beliefs that will help to accept our clients model of the world and to work with them in a way that is conducive to success. 

Understanding how the unconscious mind works and what is does, assists us to help our clients better. By utilizing and being able to communicate with the unconscious mind it is much easier to create change.

People make minute changes from moment to moment. Those changes have meaning and can greatly help you to understand and work with your client if you know what to look for.

Being able to rapport with your client is probably one of the most important elements in assisting your client. In this section you will learn how to build rapport with anyone.  

There may also be times when you want to break rapport. Example, a friend who is chatting away at 3 am when you really want to go to bed.  One can break rapport by mismatching the other person. Example, starting to yawn repeatedly whilst they are talking. Or have you ever noticed that when you are speaking to somebody and they are not really listening to you? They might be looking around, or on their watch, etc?
How did that make you feel? Probably that the conversation was not really going anywhere and you ended it.

Although that is a very simplistic example of breaking rapport. How do you think you could break rapport? What types of situations can you think of that you would like to break rapport?

Do the exercise to discover your primary representational system.

The words people use are very telling. They give us lots of information if we really listen to them.

Have you ever noticed that people say things like, "I don't get a feel for that," or "I don't see how that will work," or "It does not make sense to me?"
In this section you are going to learn why people use certain words and what it means. How you can then use your language to assist them in "understanding," or "seeing," or "getting a feel," for what you are saying.

In this section we are going to look at the representational preference test and what it means. Also how to use representational systems to communicate more effectively.

The same sentence can have different meanings, depending on how you say it. Learning to use your intonation in the right way for the situation, can make a massive difference to the results you achieve. 

Have you ever noticed how people move their eyes around when they speak? What are they doing and what does it mean?
Understanding eye patterns will give you loads of information that you can use to communicate more effectively with your client.

Submodalities are the sub sets of our internal representations. They are what gives our internal representations juice and meaning. Using submodalities is a wonderful way of being able to get some very quick and lasting changes. 

Perceptual positions is a great technique for getting information and learning's from interactions with other people. 

These interactions may be ones that have already taken place, or even ones that still need to happen. This can assist the client in potentially noticing things that they may have missed before. Or even empower them to have a more productive conversation that has yet to happen.

In doing submodality work, it is important to know how to effectively elicit submodalities. 

There are some important elements In doing submodality work. These include drivers and universals. In this lesson we will look at what these elements are and how they work. 

We mentioned that submodalities are a fabulous way to get some very fast results.
Have you ever felt, or know somebody who would love to stop eating certain things that are not good for them? Example somebody who drinks Coke and would love to stop doing so? 
The submodality "Like to Dislike Script" is a wonderful way of doing this quickly. It can also be used in reverse, example helping somebody to want to start eating certain foods, like vegetables. 

Ever had a limiting belief that you wished you did not have? Know anybody else who has limiting beliefs? Everybody has certain limiting beliefs that do not serve them. 

In this lesson you will learn how to get rid of limiting beliefs with submodalities.

Swish patterns are very useful for changing minor states or behaviours. Example, nail biting (behaviour) or feeling bad (state).

it is important to understsand exactly what is going on for the client and in to be very specific in the context that these states or behaviours occur. Ensure that the new behaviour or state can be done in the same context as the original unwanted state of behaviour.

Linguistic presuppositions are not to be confused with the Presuppositions of NLP. They are totally different. 

Linguistic presuppositions have 2 major functions.
To recognize what can be assumed by the clients language,
To create new internal representations for the client. 

Linguistic presuppositions exercise to help you become familiar with how to spot the presuppositions.

Learn how to chunk up, chunk down and chunk laterally. Chunking effectively will help you to be able to think circles around your clients problems.
This is a very effective technique for negotiation, mediation and learning to think outside of the box.

Milton model patterns come from modelling Milton Erickson.
Erickson was a medical doctor and a master of hypnosis. Having practiced hypnosis for 60 years, he was able to get phenomenal results with his clients by effectively using language that was artfully vague. This language can produce trance and assist the client in getting in touch with forgotten resources.

Great story tellers of the ages have been able to capture their audience's attention and take them to wonderful places. 

In this lesson you are going to learn how to use stories to help your client create change. The use of metaphors to get results is effective in any circumstance, whether business, education, sports, results, therapy etc. 

Meta Model comes from modelling Virginia Satir. She was a renowned family therapist and know as the grand dame of family therapy.

She got phenomenal results with her clients by getting very specific with what they were saying. Helping to get to the deeper structure of what the meant. 
This is the total opposite side of the dichotomy to Erickson, who's language patterns were artfully vague. 

Anchoring is an extremely important aspect of NLP. When we looked at the NLP communication model, we said that our internal representation is coupled with our state and physiology. If we can change any of those, then we can change our external behaviour.
Anchoring is a very important par of state control and change. 
Make sure you understand this first lesson in anchoring before you move on to the next lesson, as each of the lessons build on the previous. 

Now that you understand how to anchor, lets look at how to use anchoring to get rid of minor negative states.
We said that Swish patterns were a great way to get rid of a negative state. However the important thing about Swish patterns were that you need a picture. So if the client is not visual and struggles with pictures, then you can use anchoring to get rid of the negative state.

Have you ever procrastinated, or know anybody who procrastinates? 
Chaining anchors is  great technique to get out of stuck states like procrastination. 

There are many ways one can use anchoring to control your state. In this lesson we will look at some additional anchoring techniques. 

What might not be immediately obvious, is that everything we do is controlled by our strategies. Strategies are our programs we run. Much like the Apps that run on our tablets. 
Understanding how strategies work, will allow you to assist your client in a very deep and unconscious way of operation. Getting really to the heart of how we do what we do.

In this lesson you will learn how to effectively elicit various types of strategies.

It is important to know what makes a strategy well formed. This will assist in identifying potential problems with a strategy. Understanding why the strategy might not be working for the client. Where it might be going haywire and how to fix it.

Now you know how strategies work and what the typical requirements are for a well formed strategy. In this lesson, we will have an overview of how strategies can be designed and installed. This is just an overview as actual strategy installation is a subject that is covered during the master practitioner training.

In this lesson we look at how representational systems affect strategies.

In this lesson we look at what an ideal motivation strategy might look like, as well as some typical problems with both motivation and decision strategies.

Now that we understand that everything we do is controlled by our strategies, let's look at how we can utilize this information to create effective learning strategies.

The spelling strategy is a fabulous technique to use to assist someone in becoming a better speller. 

The Disney strategy was created by Robert Dilts after modelling Walt Disney. This strategy is very useful in the creative process and finding ways to achieve a desired outcome.

Reframing is something we naturally do on a daily basis. Example, someone says, "Oh no, it's raining." Your potential response, "At least the plants are getting watered."
By reframing we can change the meaning or the context of what is being said, so that the client can see the situation from a different point of view.
Learning to reframe effectively is a very useful tool in every aspect of our interaction with others, whether coaching, therapy, education or any other.

The six step reframe is a useful technique that some practitioners still use to find the benefits behind a unwanted behaviour and install alternative ways to achieve those benefits.
It is included here for historical purposes as we no longer teach it, and very rarely use the technique. It has been replaced by Parts integration, which is covered in the next lesson.

Have you ever said or felt something like, "On the one hand I want this and on the other hand I want that?" Or, "Sometimes I want/believe this and sometimes I want/believe that."
Parts integration is a absolutely fabulous technique to help get rid of inner conflict and in-congruence. 
As you go through this lesson, it is very important that you really understand the process and how the technique works.  

Watch this demonstration of a Parts integration and see if you can identify the individual steps.