Lead, Follow, & Flow: Basic to Advanced Partner Dance Skills

Flowing through the Forest

Over the course of this workshop, you will be investigating the spread of leading, following, switching actions, and flowing in a union during a dance. As we navigate the beginning of this journey, imagine you are going for a walk in a familiar forest hand-in-hand with a close friend. Connect branch-to-branch or hand-to-hand with the tree partner who you just shared stories with. Go for a walk together around the space you are in just through hand or branch contact. As long as you are both physically able to walk with ease and clearly see with your eyes, do you determine before you set out which person will guide the other one down the path or across an open lawn or field? Do you constantly switch on and off who is gently pulling or guiding the other around the space? Or do you just walk and talk, together, while negotiating your physically paired momentum without thought or any intention other than just to keep holding onto one another’s hand and feeling the warmth and energy of the one you love?

Sometimes, one of you might spot a rock or a sudden slight obstacle and you may give a little pressure to the other to direct your combined motion as you meet your need for shared safety. At another time, maybe one of you guides your family member for a brief moment when you come up to an intersection or a split in the path and you are curious to explore a certain direction; but once that fleeting moment is over, you are back to just walking and talking together as one unit. You don’t think about what foot is coming next or how to swing your arms as you stroll together—you just let them be and flow as they instinctually are.

When you engage in conversation as you wander, you do not define who is leading the discussion. You simply offer a few words, wait and listen for a response, and then you respond to that, and so on. Your choice of language can certainly direct the path of your verbal or physical communication at times, but your words can also just be expressional, appreciative, or affirmational—they can be completely free from inviting or leading anything. Your intention does not have to be to direct, question, negate, or propose. Sometimes you may talk over each other or express interest in opposite directions; when this happens, you can simply slow down and take a short pause to find balance again before continuing with your flowing coalescence.

Partner dance flow is exactly like taking a walking talk with someone—you will feel many moments of personal instigation, individual receiving, and mutual moving in the now, together, without worrying about the past path behind you or the future path ahead during the walk. Imagine how you can apply this philosophy beyond dance into cooperative leadership, coworker interactions, and collaborative relationships between friends, partners, and other family members.

The defection of flow in solo dance is the practice of moving with a continuous stream of mindfulness—exploring and responding to whatever is happening in the moment without prescribed steps or moves. Mindfulness is the mental state you come into when being totally aware of your immediate body sensations, thoughts, and feelings.

The definition of partner dance flow is when couples join their solo flows through an intentional point of contact such as united eyesight, touch, weight, etc. A connected dance flow can be expressed with or without sounds, and it can be applied to any style of music—some dancers will say they are dancing styles such as zouk-flow and blues-flow, or dancers may just say they are dancing “flow,” without any additional dance style describing the movement.

If you haven’t already, find a conclusion to your forest walk and thank your partner for their presence with you.

Embodying Flow Exercise

Placing the palms of your own two hands together, push and move your arms around together in space. Close your eyes and continue the movement. Is one hand leading and the other hand following—or are they just flowing in the air together in a fluid give and take?

Now try this same connection with a partner. Put up one hand in the air like you are giving someone a high five and place your open hands together in partnership in the space between you without tightly clasping fingers. Keeping your connection fluid, close both sets of eyes, and move your joined hands slowly around in the space between the two of you.

How high and low can you reach together? How far to the side can your arms extend while in contact? Is one of you leading and one of you following the movement—or are your arms just traveling together in a spontaneous give and take? Whether it is the loop of your own arms giving and receiving in the moment, or two people dancing together with any form of connection, roles or defined actions melt away when you move with the intention of just being here, now.

Forest Dance Party: Exploring the Elements of Movement

Collaborating on an improvised dance with another tree-partner can bring up many emotions inside yourself. Perhaps you feel thrilled or wonder at the opportunity for collaboration. You may also have doubt and anxiety bubble up when considering how to contribute equally during a conversational dance. Becoming comfortable with your solo tree expression will build your confidence so you are able to improvise a partner dance with greater ease. We will also introduce leading and following one another from afar with this activity.

To continue discovering your movement potential you can experiment with a variety of Elements of Movement. Use each part of your body—from your eyes to your entire face, from fingertip to fingertip, from your belly to your pelvis, and from the top of your head to your toes. Accept and enjoy whatever movement comes from your body. Be gentle with yourself and adopt an inquisitive, playful mindset.

Find a piece of music that you enjoy and wish to dance to—perhaps a tune that has some variation of vocals, tempos, instrumentation, and emotional energy. Dance these elements both while with non-locomotor movement when you stay in one place with your body, as well as with locomotor movement where you move around the space you are in. In the first half of this exercise, I will call out the movement. All you need to do is listen and respond with your body to whatever movement suggestions I say.

• Speed: slow, medium, fast

• Direction: forward, backward, right, left, up, down, diagonal, rotating

• Pathway: straight, curvy, angled, spiral, zigzag

• Size: small, medium, big

• Level: high, middle, low

• Energy: smooth, sharp

• Weight: light, strong

• Shape: curved, straight, angular, twisted, symmetrical, asymmetrical

• Flow: bound, free

If you haven't already, please download the attached sheet containing the elements of movement for your reference as you dance.

Leading and Following Elements of Movement

Find a partner choose who will focus on the action of following. The leading partner will only use vocal direction to guide them in dance by calling out the bolded words from the Elements of Movement list. Remind each other to use every part of your body when dancing—from your eyes to your entire face, from your head to your shoulders, from your belly to your hips, from fingertip to fingertip, and from the top of your head to your toes. Accept and enjoy whatever expression bubbles up. Be gentle with yourself and adopt an inquisitive, playful mindset as you practice leading and following together.

Once a leading partner calls out a word and the following partner embodies the movement, the leading partner is then tasked with mirroring or copying the action of the following partner until a new word is broadcasted. In doing this, both partners are experiencing taking on actions of leading and following from different stimuli. Allow at least ten seconds between movement words to enable both partners time to respond to each other.

After one partner has directed at least a dozen elements of movement, switch who is doing what. Notice how it feels to have swapped responsibilities within the exercise.

Now that you have both gained familiarity with most of the movement possibilities, complete another round of the activity while consciously combining the terms such as “high slow” or “bouncy forward.” You can also join them with the instruction of locomotor or non-locomotor movement, such as “locomotor middle backward” and “non-locomotor smooth spiraling.” Notice how your experience changes when dancing with the inspiration of two or three terms instead of one. What kinds of movement coincide and align with your body’s actions? Which Elements of Movement seem to be in conflict with one another or feel more challenging for you to simultaneously express in the moment?

The third and final part of the exercise is to have both partners assert one, two, or three directives at random and for both of you to take on whatever is announced. Continue mirroring or copying the movements of each other’s interpretations of the words. In doing this, you explore dancing with a stream of leading and following opportunities while further discovering your own personal expression possibilities. What can you learn about your own leading as you open up to following the others who are following you?

After moving with the intention of trying out the embodiment of each of the elements of movement and various combinations, reflect on your experience:

• Which ones of the EOM felt comfortable and/or familiar?

• Which ones were new for your body and mind?

• Which ones were challenging?

• Which ones were the most enjoyable?

• Which ones do you want to incorporate more into your daily movement in and out of dance?

Trees Exploring Contact

What benefits does a tree receive from close proximity to other trees versus when it’s on its own? How do trees relate to each other? Think about how you can connect your tree to another both physically or without touch.

Trees can:

• Share energy above and below ground

• Sway in unison, mirror movement, or echo each other

• Connect through twigs

• Rest branches upon one another

• Share weight pushing inward or pulling outward through a connection of branches or trunks

• Grow into each other and fuse trunks

Dancing Trees Connect

1. Play another piece of music to resemble the wind. Move around the space and dance around the other trees. Which trees do you feel inspired by? Choose one and explore these ways of communication. First, dance just like it—mirroring or copying its motion. Then, follow the tree around the space maintaining a constant distance. Choose a new tree and replicate its actions or follow it. Switch your attention to a third tree and dance in the opposite way of it. How differently can you make the quality of your movement? Next, pick two trees and travel around the forest trying to stay between them at all times. Then, choose yet another tree and try to keep as far away from them in the forest as possible. Finally, explore dancing in the empty space between the other trees. How high and low can the music blow your motion? What emotions does the breeze stir up inside you and how do you let this energy flow through you into expression? Observe the other trees as you dance around each other. Explore the whole forest. Feel the flowing energy and emotions. What messages can you send through your body language and movement expressions? What are you energetically radiating? What can you energetically receive?

2. Divide the forest into halves. One group of trees will be dancing and the others will be stationary. The rooted trees take on a pose with their roots, trunks, branches, and twigs. Play another piece of music to be the wind. The moving trees slide, float, and explore in and around the empty space surrounding the standing trees. When any tree wants to switch roles, they can simply tap someone on the shoulder and swap places.

3. The third component of this “Dancing Trees” exercise is to dance without any physical contact with a designated partner. Put on another tune and begin moving around the space with your fellow tree. Look your partner in the eyes as you dance. What feelings arise inside you as you share their gaze? Now, release your eye contact and focus on mirroring each other’s movement. Then, have a “tree conversation” where one of you makes a shape or movement, and the other responds with their own action or pose and so on. Switch partners and explore dancing opposite from each other. How different can you be from one another? Discover how long can you comfortably maintain eye-to-eye contact during your dances with other trees? Silently, find another tree and connect eye-to-eye. Create a dance with them even at this simplest level of connection—eyes and energetic contact. Collaborating with your partner, play with different choices of level, speed, energy, and the other elements of movement.

• Experience moving in the same way, as well as the opposite way, as your partner.

• How far away can you move away from each other while still dancing together?

• How close can dance with each other while maintaining your eye connection?

• Pause in stillness. Make a funny face. Communicate in motion with each other through moving your branches and twigs/arms, palms, and fingers.

After finishing these exercises, take a couple of minutes to discuss your experience with your partner. Do enjoy dancing with connected eyesight or without? How did your movement change as you looked at one another in the eyes?

Tuning into Your Branch Hands

Your hands are like kinesthetic ears and eyeballs—how can you see and hear energy through your palms and fingers? Experiment by using your own hands to touch and massage parts of your branches and torso.

How can you use your branch hands as portals into sharing more contact with others? Hands are fundamental communication devices and emotional energy transfer points. They have more nerve endings per square centimeter of skin area than anywhere else on your body, except your lips and genitals. When you touch someone else’s hand with yours, you feel a broader spread of sensations and emotions than if you were to touch their knee, back, or shoulder. Your hands are designed to serve many purposes during the transfer of energy—both receiving and offering energy. Become aware of how much and how little your hands can touch and experience within your own body.

Playing in the Forest Together

Let’s further discover how to express, listen, guide, swap actions, and flow in partnership using the analogy of trees. All of these activities can be danced with or without musical accompaniment.

Leading Trees, Following Trees

With a partner, choose one of you to primarily focus on the action of being the leading tree. Dance the entire activity free of music—you can add music to a second round of the exercise if you wish. The following tree will have their eyes closed and will be moving slowly around the space with solo expression.

For the first part of the exercise, the leading tree will use only words and vocal direction to guide their following tree in a dance while making sure to direct them away from people or other obstructions. No physical contact is used unless it is necessary to meet your need for your partner’s safety. You can always say “pause” or “stop” if you want to reset. Guide yourself in giving direction to your partner by first tuning into your awareness of your body and environment. What inspires you to move? What kind of movement are you curious about?

If you are the one leading, try directing your following tree to move with different speeds, levels, directions, and other Elements of Movement. Consider what part of the room or space you can invite your partner to that they have not yet visited. What Elements of Movement can you ask your partner to try out with their eyes closed? Think about how your partner’s action inspires you to move while you offer them direction and inspiration.

Follow your affection in the moment by flowing with any energetic or physical motivation that your heart feels delighted in as you move around your partner who is acutely tuned in to you. Dance around them even when they cannot see you. Exchange roles and explore how it feels to be guided around a space without your own sight to rely on. How can you see through your partner’s eyes?

The second part of this exercise allows the leading tree to use no words and only brief moments or taps of physical touch to emphasize the direction and momentum your following tree can take with their movement. The following tree will again have their eyes closed. Exchange roles and explore how it feels to be guided in this way with no visual or auditory sensations.

The third part of this exercise involves the leading tree applying constant physical touch and possibly shared weight to guide the direction and momentum of the following tree who has their eyes closed again. At regular intervals, the leading tree can ask the following tree about how they are feeling and if they would like more, less, or different kinds of touch to help clarify the guidance or find more comfort while in connection. Exchange roles and explore how it feels to be guided in this way with constant physical pressure of varying degrees.

Of these three parts within the activity, which form of leading felt most secure? Which type of following did you enjoy the most? Why might this be? Did you have a preference for being the partner leading or the one following? How does it feel to switch between the two actions?

Arborist

The Arborist is similar to the popular sculptor and clay partner exercise. One partner takes on the role of the tree and the other is the arborist who can shape, form, and otherwise give physical suggestions to their partner. Use a gentle touch and pay attention to the ways your partner’s branches, twigs, trunk, and roots naturally rest in comfort. At any point in time, either the tree or the arborist can call “switch!” to exchange roles.

Blowing Trees

One partner is a rooted tree and the other partner is the wind. The rooted tree stays strongly grounded with their feet while allowing their legs, torso, arms, and head to be flexible and fluid. The wind partner acts like a gusty breeze flowing around the tree and sometimes coming into contact with it. How does the tree respond to the wind’s physical touch and energetic presence? How can the wind use slower or quicker movements and lighter or heavier touch to affect the tree’s entire structure? Switch roles and partners several times.

Dancing Trees of Trust

The Dancing Trees of Trust builds confidence within your partnership. You will tap into your power to express yourself through both guiding and following as you develop skills of kinesthetic listening.

The action of following another tree can sometimes feel more effortless when you eliminate the visual sense. Allowing your eyes to close, focuses your awareness deeper into your internal and external sensations. As you shut your windows of sight you open the doorways of your twigs, branches, and other parts of your tree to further “see,” hear, and feel with greater precision.

Begin in a connection that creates the greatest sense of ease: simply hold hands with your partner while facing the same direction. You can also connect your branches or trunks in any alternate way that feels snug and secure for both of you. Slowly begin walking around the forest with one tree’s eyes closed. Walk in all directions including backward, diagonal, sideways, and in a circle. Maintain gentle pressure in the connection so there is abundant communication between your bodies. Switch who is guiding whom every 20-30 seconds. When you do exchange roles, verbally communicate whose eyes are closed so you do not end up blindly walking around together and running into other trees, rocks, or waterfalls. You can also communicate the switch non-verbally with a soft squeeze of the hands. After a couple of minutes, switch your positions to connect different parts of your trunks and branches. If one tree has been positioned a bit in front of the other, change that as well.

If your eyes are open, please take responsibility for meeting both of your needs for security and safety. Your partner tree is kinesthetically listening to your every change in direction or momentum—trusting you to keep them safe. Regularly look in all directions to avoid bumping into another partnership or obstacle. Travel slowly at first. Find delight and fascination in the task of guiding your partner.

If your eyes are closed, allow yourself to follow your partner's pathway with the assurance that they are keeping your dancing unit in harmony with its surroundings. How is your tree partner inviting you to move with them through their choice of expression and movements? Bask in the freedom that comes with trusting your partner through whole-body listening. Release any unnecessary tension and relax into your partner’s guidance. Let your breath flow freely through your body as you move together and enjoy the ride.

The Dancing Trees of Trust not only allows the closed-eyed partner to sink into their connection and confidence for the other, but it also teaches the open-eyed partner about awareness and safety. Which role feels more challenging? Which role feels more familiar and comfortable? Be intrigued by how your expression and connection with one another are affected by this experience.

Experiment with moving around to a variety of music during the Dancing Trees of Trust. The open-eyed dancer can then help spot and guide the dance through a greater variety of speed and expression.

Consider your experience:

• How does your awareness of your senses shift without the dominating visual realm?

• How does your dance change?

• In the absence of sight, do you have a dominant sense that you follow? If so, what is it and why?

• How do you find yourself following differently when you tune more into other senses besides sight?

• How can you apply this expanded sense awareness when you dance with your eyes open?

Branch to Trunk: Magnifying Connection Possibilities

Come into a single, physical branch-to-branch or hand-to-hand connection with a partner. As if there is a ball of energy between your hand, roll that ball of connection so that you are forearm to forearm. Continue moving the contact point with a rolling action until you are shoulder to shoulder and, finally, trunk-to-trunk (back-to-back). Rest into each other’s upper backs, sharing weight like two trees resting their upper trunks together. Bend your knees to share even more weight. Find a comfortable spot to rest into and close your eyes. Sway slowly left and right. Feel the counterbalance.

Next, open your eyes and roll your head and shoulders down toward the ground slightly so that your trees can connect core-to-core. Bring your pelvises together to feel your navels draw close.

Roll your shoulders and head back up to vertical, keeping as much of your lower backs touching as possible so that the full surface areas of your backspace are connected. Let your branches and twigs blow around in the “breeze.” Pivot your partnership so that you mutually rotate around to face a new direction. Continue the connection, pressing together in counterbalance as your partnership travels across the forest to a new place. Observe the other pairings of trees as you pass them if there are any. Maybe offer them a soft high-five, fist bump, or brush of their branches and twigs.

When you arrive in your new location, roll the point of contact you share with your partner’s back to connect with their palm—the reverse motion of what you did at the start except choosing the opposite branches of the ones you began with. Practice becoming comfortable rolling in and out of this backspace and counterbalance.

Branch-to-Trunk

Face your partner and have one of you reach a single branch to connect your palm to your partner’s back—somewhere above their navel and below their shoulders. Each tree can rest their weight back and feel supported and at ease.

You will encounter expanding comfort and communication possibilities when both your partner tree and you place your open palms on similar locations of each other’s upper backs, right around the lower part of the shoulder blades. The exact position may shift slightly to maximize comfort, depending on each partner’s height. When you begin a dance from a place of equal physical connection, you can feel increased liberty to express and receive with ecstatic synchronization.

To offer the most neutral starting place in an embraced dance, I also invite the partner who is shorter in height to place their wrapped arm below the person’s arm who is taller. If you happen to be dancing with someone similar in height, you can choose to have either arm below or above depending on your combined comfort. Left or right arms for either partner can be wrapped around one another to find a flexible and fluid frame in union—free from the customary frame positions and traditional gendered or role-associated arm assignments.

The goal is to feel openness and freedom as both partners place their open palms on each other’s upper backs. Coming into contact in this way means a weight-shared counterbalance can often be attained with greater ease since each partner’s hand is closer to one another’s center of gravity. Dancing from this physically shared starting point can feel extraordinarily empowering for leading, following, switch technique, and especially for dancers flowing free of defined roles and moves.

One frame does not fit all partnerships. Adopt a curious mindset and keep your connection relaxed and fluid as you find what works for you. When you explore which shared connections feel most comfortable, habitual right and wrong ways of coming into contact dissolve. You will enter into a partner dance communication unhindered by the boundaries of archaic cultural design.

Now, slowly exchange whose palm is connected with a trunk. Take your time to settle into your counterbalance of weight with these new contact points. Continue switching palms until both partners have connected both their right and left hands, one at a time.

Begin slowly walking around the space with comfort and fluidity—similar to when you were back-to-back, except this time you are supporting one another hand-to-back. You may have a tendency to take more of your weight onto your feet as you step--do continue focusing on the counterbalance between your trunks and branches.

Find the freedom to either flow in a partnership or consciously choose to take turns leading and following movement through the branch to trunk connection. Whether you are the one with a branch wrapped around your partner or the one with a branch wrapped around you, be open to instigating movement—you can be the one guiding the direction, pace, and quality of your dance even if you are the one receiving the connection of the partner’s palm on your back.

While you explore the branch-to-trunk or hand-to-back connections, allow both partners to take turns closing their eyes to focus more intently on their experience of weight sharing. You can also allow both trees to close their eyes at the same time, letting your dance be small and slow at first. Alternately, focus your attention by connecting directly eye-to-eye while maintaining your physical connection.

Now, pair other connections with your branch-to-trunk contact. Try outer branch and twig pressure by connecting hand-to-hand on one side while wrapping arms around one another’s trunks on the other side. The taller tree can explore having their branches above the lower tree to feel the most comfort when sharing weight.

Find whatever physical contact feels comfortable for you in this moment. Continue to explore taking turns guiding your partner tree around the space as the receiving tree closes their eyes to tune into the movement. Allow yourself to open up to the full spectrum of expression possibilities—from micro-movements in place with both sets of eyes closed, to going for a walk in the forest with both eyes open.

Play another piece of music and investigate your tree-to-tree connections further. Let your other branches sway or gentle articulate with the wind of music when not in physical connection to your partner. Make every movement or non-movement intentional and filled with consciousness. Move with your breath as you expand and contract each part of your body. Offer a deeper emotional exchange by connecting eye-to-eye throughout an entire piece of music. Elaborate through the trilogy of hand-to-back connection, palm-to-palm contact, and eye gazing.

With each connection you experience in partnership, take time to slow down and notice your sensations and emotions. The slower you go, the more you can sense, receive, take in, and give. When the music finishes, bring your dance to stillness and ask yourself:

• What did I experience while connecting to a partner?

• Which tree connection felt most challenging?

• Which was the most secure?

• Which connection would I like to explore more?

Rooted Tree/Dancing Tree Switch

The following exercise has evolved from an activity inspired by my first co-creative dance teacher Mykl Werth.

In partnership, choose one of you to start as the “rooted tree” and one of you to be the “dancing tree.” At the beginning of this activity, the rooted tree must stay rooted down through their feet in one place but can fluidly move through the rest of their body to offer physical support to the dancing tree who will be dancing all around while in connection. The dancing tree will stay in contact with the rooted tree’s branches and parts of its trunk. Either of you can verbally call “switch” to swap actions. After each partner has experienced each dancing or rooted action several times, expand the dance to allow the rooted tree to pivot around in place as the dancing tree moves around them. If you are the rooted tree, try rotating yourself in both directions—turn in place without moving your kinesphere from the area it is in. Gradually call “switch” with a greater or slower frequency depending on your comfort of switching actions. Try switching actions faster and faster to the point where there may only be a few seconds of being rooted or dancing before swapping.

At some point, you can call out “double-dancing” and both of you become trees dancing around each other with no intention of one of you being rooted.

If you have a larger group, someone can call “forest!” and everyone starts exchanging partners in a whole space of dancing trees. Anyone can choose to be a dancing or rooted tree while coming in and out of solo or partnership. You may have two or more trees either dancing or rooted together at any time. Play with coming in and out of couples, triples, and quartets.

Following Combined Tree Connections

Your pupils are pathways into your inner being and you can sometimes feel more vulnerable, comfortable, safer, and closer when direct visual contact is shared through one another’s lenses.

Within a tree partnership, play around with emphasizing persistent eye-to-eye contact as you dance. See what motivation arises as you focus on eye gazing together with or without movement. Try beginning a dance by just mirroring each other and visually following one another’s actions. When you connect by looking at each other in the eyes, you can still be attentive to your surroundings by sensing the space through your peripheral vision.

Your experience of following can be filled with expanding brilliance when you combine connections so that there are more shared stimuli to follow.

• How do you react when you are receiving the energy of an eye-to-eye connection paired with physical contact?

• What happens if you simultaneously talk and dance?

• How does it feel to partner dance without music versus dancing with a partner to a tune you both resonate with?

What other combined dance connections can your partnership be inspired by?

Switching Actions of Leading and Following

When dancing with the intention of switching actions of leading and following throughout a dance, clearly establish how you will identify who is leading and following at any one time. Perhaps you agree to use a method of physical exchange such as specific framing for lead and follow positions—when you switch the physical framing during the dance, you know that the roles have swapped. Another way to communicate switching could be to exchange soft verbal cues throughout the dance, such as you and your partner saying “switch.”

Become comfortable with physically slowing or stopping by verbally saying “slow” or “pause” to your partner as a way to reenter your connection, especially when engaging with shared weight. When you feel your awareness is centered, continue on with coupled movement by offering the word “resume.”

Explore variety with switch:

• Try consciously following someone for a whole dance. Then, with another piece of music, follow only the first or second half. Finally, lead someone for a complete dance. Reflect with them afterward about the trilogy experience you shared.

• Switch off who is leading with every phrase of music

• Spontaneously swap actions through any partner calling out “switch” at any moment

• Try verbally switching actions at an increasing frequency until it feels like your leading and following blends together. What may start out as a dance of switching actions will sometimes fluidly turn into a dance of partner flow.

Leading with and without Eyesight

Experiment with switching regularly who has their eyes closed or open throughout a dance:

If you are ever dancing with one partner’s eyes closed and switching who has their eyes open, verbally check in with each other to ensure that you both had a clear signal of the switching action. A verbal transfer of the visual sense that can meet both partners’ needs for security may sound like this:

• Red Partner: “Switch eyes!”

• Blue Partner: “My eyes are closed now.”

• Red Partner: “My eyes are open.”

During any kind of social dance activity that involves describing one another for the purpose of identifying who is supposed to complete a certain action, labeling partners through non-hierarchal ways such as using colors instead of numbers or letters can often feel more balanced and empowered.

Exchanging which partner has their eyes open during a dance can be corresponding to which partner is leading and following—or it could be completely independent of who is taking on which action. Even the person leading can have their eyes closed if they stay in an open and clear area and the partner who is following looks out for other people or obstacles in the space. When a partner is instigating movement without sight, they will have to heighten their listening skills for physical and verbal cues from their partner. Hearing and honoring responses of any magnitude will help ensure the combined need for safety is met as the partnership travels across space.

How to Flow within a Partnership

Focus your attention on your breath and connect to your present time and space. Your mind quiets as you let go of your thoughts and find stillness. Savor this pause. Continue to tune into your breathing.

Closing your eyes or focusing your eyesight on one object or another set of eyes can help you to sink into your present moment. As you begin to center your awareness, let any thoughts that pop up into your mind diminish like a single cloud being blown gently away in a clear blue sky—literally visualizing this can assist your brain with relaxing and releasing ideas from itself.

You do not need to know where your dance will go next—no previous plan, skill, or talent is required to express your authentic creative movement. The path before you will open up and you will be guided in your dance flow with natural impulses. Calm your monkey mind and be present in your bonobo body.

Be aware of the balance of your inner and outer environments—ride the undulating current of contact points constantly changing in type, size, and scope with the world in and around you. Even if you are only aware of the connection between your feet and the earth along with the air on your skin, allow yourself to fully engage with those places. Be free of any fixed energy, structure, or procedure. Everything you will do and everything you will be is already happening—enjoy the journey you are in now; there is nowhere else you have to be and nowhere else you need to go to find your flow.

Tune into every sensation and touchpoint of human-to-human contact you can perceive, even if it is only through auditory, visual, or energetic means—we can touch each other in a multitude of other ways besides through skin-to-skin connection. When you expand your awareness far across all of your body’s senses and include your broad emotional portfolio, you come into a state of “soft attention.” Instead of concentrating on only a couple of senses or emotions, soft attention enables you to keep everything about your dynamic life experience in a varying degree of focus. Centering your mind on this wide view of your entire existence will spawn energy for you to explore. When affection bubbles up from your heart about an idea or sensation, expand the feeling without trying to guess where it will take you. What do you feel fascinated by? How can you further investigate your interest through soft attention?

Continue to be curious as you greater develop your sense of listening to your body and those around you. Mindfulness gives you the freedom to accept what is, without believing that there is a wrong or right way to feel, think, or act in any given moment. Follow this current of conscious human relating as you open up to being in a mutual moving meditation. You already know how to dance and connect with others—all you need to do is not block your body with your brain. Let yourself move freely with instinctive expression and contact. When you focus partnered minds on the present moment, innovations and surprises unfurl into a magical, shared dance experience.

Self-check-in:

Ask yourself the following questions before and during any social dance. Consider these inquiries again whenever you feel at all confused or overwhelmed about a personal or communal situation.

• How do I feel right now in my body? What emotions am I experiencing in this moment?

• Is there anything that I can do to feel more comfortable right now? (If so, do it)

• How attracted am I to the music or people I am dancing with?

• Do I hope the dance will result in something or take my energy somewhere after?

• How does my level of attraction to the music and people here inspire my interest, desires, and expression within the dance?

• Is there anything I am trying to say or do with my dance today? If so, why?

• When I allow myself to exhale and tune into my breath and my body’s senses, how do I feel?

• If I eliminate the narratives and judgments I have of my current experience while just focusing on what I am feeling and what is before me, how does my body respond?

Connecting through Props

How can you dance with the inanimate objects you interact with every day? Dancing with objects in solo can help you open up to the possibilities for deeper physical connection. Dancing with props allows movement to feel immediately like authentic play instead of whatever labels or boxes you previously placed dance in. Can you dance your way through a doorway and share the weight with the swinging or sliding door? How is driving a car or riding a bike like a dance? As you walk to get the mail, how can you experiment with different Elements of Movement?

What kinds of props can help you to discover creative movement and connection with other people? Move around the space with a straw or stick spanning single fingers between a partnership, balloons that you can compress, long cloth or large rubber stretch bands to create connected extension through palms holding the props, closed loops of fabric or rubber hoses connecting your waists, two broom handles or dowels to hold at your sides spanning the partnership, blindfold(s) to limit your eyesight, and more. Explore how you can connect in different ways through each prop and what each one can teach you. What other props do you have on hand that you can use to expand the movement possibilities between you and another partner?

Placing a clear balloon between your foreheads can even allow you and your partner to connect eye-to-eye while simultaneously weight sharing. Any kind of balloon can be passed up into the air from partner to partner as you both carry out solo dances. A rubber hose or fabric loop that is at least two meters long (such as one made out of a sheet) can be tied into a loop to connect you together through a pulling action. Discover how you can move around space with both compression and extension contact points using props of all kinds. Play a few tracks of music that you enjoy and notice how adding sound offers new energy to interacting with props.

Leading through Props

Props can often help us to better understand our shared experience of leading and following. The action of leading can be considered an act of following the energy you are sensing inside yourself in every moment. Leading is simply following your desire to meet a primal need or to satisfy a curiosity. All actions that you take can be boiled down to an origin of consciousness and body senses that inspire activity to follow suit.

When you follow someone else, the person leading them is simultaneously following something or someone else as well—whether that is an emotion, an impetus from a sense like a touch or sight, or the idea of choreographed moves that they once learned. What makes their guiding action recognized as “leading,” is some kind of contact with another being or object who receives, interprets, and creates a following action. Depending on how this other being or object responds, the one leading will likely listen and then begin responding to any reaction that they sense.

Find a prop to explore this philosophy of leading and following together.

Finding Flow through Prop Play

Flow is a current of play. Reflect back on what playtime was like when you were a child—unhindered by thoughts of your past or future while existing only in pure delight and presence. Children flow with their sensations and emotions as they arise and fly out through cheers, tears, wiggles, and giggles. How can you reembody that youthful state of being that you once experienced when you were little? How can you reawaken your inner child?

Your human body is always naturally flowing in a state of creative expression and connection ever-expanding from your heart. The clutter of and attachment to certain stories and beliefs inside you, however, can suppress your emotions from releasing and moving through you. Instead of listening to these narratives, choose to experience your inner life’s energy and physical state in a synergistic connection with your moment-to-moment awareness of the world.

Magnify and move with any heartfelt emotions that arise inside your being. As you perceive and interpret all that you sense in your body, express action with freedom and intention. Children do this all the time—and your inner child still can too. Dancing with props can help you to express your youthful energy. What props do you most enjoy connecting with?

First Dance Coaching

With any kind of digital camera or cell phone, record a video of you and your partner dancing and send it to me for review. Once completed, please message me a link of your video through the course or email it to me at james@leadfollowflow.com (free services that can do this include: Apple iCloud link, unlisted or private YouTube link, "WeTransfer" message with attached video, Dropbox, and others). Within five days, I will send back a review of your dancing with ideas of what you can continue to work on with your partner. Please message or email me with any questions.

Dance Directors

As you create a dance, it is possible to become so focused and intertwined with your mutual connection to your partner, that you ignore your own capacity to be individually expressive at times. You may even begin to unconsciously isolate parts of your body in stillness—such as dangling a limp arm at your side. Deliberately engage every part of your body with intentional movement. Ensure that each arm and leg is fully engaged with consciousness, even if that is a relaxed or neutral expression.

Each Element of Movement you explored earlier can empower your personal and partnered expression at any time. Be inspired by your partner's creativity and enjoy the surprising places your collective choices take you. Let your movement originate from a place of presence, allowing expression to extend outward towards one another in unified manifestation.

To explore pairing personal musicality with partner connection possibilities, play the game called “Dance Directors.” You can be either solo or in partnership and calling out directives to each other like you are in the editing room of a real-time dance video. You will be empowered to offer suggestions and ideas to one another for how and when to move and connect. If you have one or more people observing the dance (like family or friends), they can be the ones calling out the direction—otherwise, you can dance over to view the list of ideas for what to offer one another at any time.

The game can be as complex and layered as you wish to make it. Allow a minimum of at least five-ten seconds between each new dance directive. By default, when someone says an idea, it applies to everyone dancing—if the instigator wants to have just one dancer embody a certain focus, they can preface it by saying their name.

Let the unpredictable arise in the present moment as each new direction is presented. With every beat of your heart, you can allow yourself to listen to your body and your partner while feeling inspired to instigate expression.

Take care of your own needs while you dance. Remember, you are responsible for your own experience of safety and comfort even when someone else is directing you.

You can say actions such as:

• Play: Dance onward as is

• Slow Motion: Slow down the speed of the movement

• Fast Forward: Accelerate the motion

• Rewind: Reverse the activity you just completed

• Pause: Stop and freeze

• Repeat: Redo the last movement, connection, or steps

• Change: Stop dancing in the way you were doing and dance in an entirely new way

• Exchange Partners: If dancing in partnership, switch who you are dancing with

• Team Up: Join into dancing groups of three or more

• Solo: Dance without physical contact

• Partner: Intentionally connect with someone in any way

• Remove __________: You can remove the use of body parts such as “remove eyes” or “remove arms” to explore connecting and expressing with other parts of your bodies

• Add __________: Add connection or movement such as “add eye contact” or “add hip movement”

• Apply __________ Filter: You can insert many ideas here to bring new energy or emotions to dance such as “apply smile filter” or “add curious filter” where you will start dancing with constant smiles or an increased curiosity

• Dance like ________: Use imagery or animals to evoke expressive movement—such as “dance like blowing snow,” “dance like a whirlpool,” or “dance like penguins”

• Switch __________: You can invite a change within a certain Element of Movement, such as “switch levels,” “switch energy,” or “switch speed”

• Call out Elements of Movement and Beyond: Suggest specific terms from the EOM list as well as of the following list of supplemental movement ideas

Elements of Movement:

• (Non-locomotor/Locomotor)

• Speed: slow, medium, fast

• Direction: forward, backward, right, left, up, down, diagonal, rotating

• Pathway: straight, curvy, angled, spiral, zigzag

• Size: small, medium, big

• Level: high, middle, low

• Energy: smooth, sharp

• Weight: light, strong

• Shape: curved, straight, angular, twisted, symmetrical, asymmetrical

• Flow: bound, free

Supplemental Movement Ideas:

Align

Hold

Swivel

Roll

Pulse

Arch

Hug

Sustain

Squeeze

Stack

Articulate

Hook

Spread

Close

Spin

Charge

Interlace

Widen

Open

Stabilize

Circle

Inch

Wiggle

Lengthen

Square

Draw

Launch

Energize

Lean

Tilt

Elongate

Lower

Bend

Knit

Thread

Embrace

Raise

Step

Melt

Tone

Engage

Exhale

Reach

Nestle

Turn

Establish

Inhale

Twist

Pedal

Shrug

Expand

Fold

Rise

Perch

Ground

Firm

Shrug

Extend

Pivot

Root

Flare

Position

Flex

Pull

Lie

Glide

Rotate

Scissor

Press

Release

Second Dance Coaching

With any kind of digital camera or cell phone, record a video of you and your partner dancing and send it to me for review. Once completed, please message me a link of your video through the course or email it to me at james@leadfollowflow.com (free services that can do this include: Apple iCloud link, unlisted or private YouTube link, "WeTransfer" message with attached video, Dropbox, and others). We could also set up a live Zoom video session through my website if you do not want to record and send a video. Within five-ten days, I will send back a review of your dancing with ideas of what you can continue to work on with your partner. Please message or email me with any questions.

Workshop Conclusion

To find resolution and begin to transition from your partnered movement experience towards the rest of your day, I invite you to connect in a final forest circle together in a partnership, trio, or whatever size of group you may be in.

Community Tree Ring

Stand in a circle shoulder-to-shoulder with your fellow dancers--you can enjoy this connection with as few as two people. Bring one foot up to a standing “tree” pose with your sole resting on a comfortable place on your leg: either your calf or thigh (just not on your knee). Bring your palms together to touch in prayer hands just in front of your heart and find your balance. With your next inhale, extend your arms up to reach towards the sky. Exhale as a group. On the next collective inhale, interlace fingers with the person on either side of you in one connected ring of trees. Exhale together. Inhale as you reach higher and perhaps your heel will leave the ground to balance on the ball of your foot. Enjoy supporting those around you and being supported by them—notice how the energy of the person across the circle from you affects your experience and vice versa. Exhale your heel back down to the ground while maintaining a hand connection. Release your hands back into a prayer position and then lower your other foot. Repeat on the other side.

Stand with your eyes closed and reflect on your dance practice and connections today. Place one hand just above your navel and the other over your heart. Feel your breath fill your chest and empty out. Experience your pulse rippling through your whole body.

• How does your heartbeat dance in relationship to your breathing?

• How can your breath be like your dance?

• How can you dance in your everyday life?

• How can you live your life inspired by the sensations and emotions you feel in your body?

In order to transition smoothly from this workshop into the rest of your day, take a moment to be present with your inner sensations. Relax your muscles fully with each exhale, perhaps taking the time to massage or stretch any area of your body that is wanting extra attention and care. Find gratitude for your expression, effort, discoveries, and expanding awareness. Share appreciation to your partner or group for their presence and connection.

Harvest Circle: Sharing Awareness

As you conclude your session of dancing together, invite each other to come into partnership or a group circle where everyone can see each other.

Ask one another: what have you observed today through dance? What are you discovering about yourself as a dancer? What have you learned about connecting with others?

Take a piece of paper and answer three or more of these questions:

• I am curious about ____________

• I feel afraid of ____________

• I do not enjoy ____________

• I feel challenged with ____________

• I appreciate ____________

• I am grateful for ____________

• I enjoy (or love) ____________

• I feel happy about ____________

• I feel amused (humored or tickled) by ____________

• I want more of ____________

• My need(s) for ____________ was/were met today when ____________ took place.

• My need(s) for ____________ was/were not met today when ____________ took place.

If you are in a partnership, trade papers and take turns reading aloud. If you are in a group, throw the papers into the center of the circle and have everyone choose one out to read aloud.

Final Tree Hug Options

• Hug the other trees in the room with branches softly wrapped around one another.

• Group Tree Hug where everyone stands in a circle and puts their arms around each other.

• Tree Spiral Hug where you form a line holding hands and then one person starts turning into the middle and everyone follows suit to spiral into a giant group hug.

• You could also come shoulder to shoulder placing everyone’s hands into the center as you lean your head on each other’s shoulder. Play with a group connection to say thank you and goodbye to your dance partners.

Thank you for exploring this six-part workshop with me. If you enjoyed this e-course and haven’t yet read my book Lead Follow Flow, please check it out. I would love to share it with you.

Let's Stay Connected!

If anyone would like to meet up in person, I continue to share movement and the content of this book through community workshop gatherings and private dance instruction around the world. Please get in touch with me through my website, leadfollowflow.com.

Course Feedback

I would love to hear from anyone about comments, feedback, questions, reactions, ideas, and suggestions surrounding any of this material.

• How is this workshop material being used?

• What questions or curiosities came up?

• Which dance exercises are most helpful?

• Are there any changes or additions to the workshop that could be considered for future additions of this e-course?

Goodbye for now, everyone—see you on the dance floor!

Appreciation

I feel thrilled to be sharing dance with you through words, photography, and video—this material is a distillation of my many years dancing with and learning from dear dance friends and facilitators across the world.

I sincerely appreciate my partner Maia Sandra for her insight and skills that helped shape much of who I am as a dancer and teacher today. I have experienced guidance from her for more than seven revolutions around the sun. Maia also served as my primary editor and mentor for this course.

I am grateful to Zoe Rae for her editing and proofreading skills of this course; and, for their enthusiastic, creative support over the last decade, Dan Kelly, Logermund Nathamundi, Jamaica Martin, Mykl Werth, Eva Belmar, Stephen Harvey (also known as Wonder), Loretta Draegan Laurin, and Carsten Almskaar for your insight and ideas about creative partner dance.

Thank you to my friends David Callahan, Jessie Rubin, Keera Lindenberg, Brian Chou, and Anna Joy Reedy, for being featured in several images or videos.

Where is the line between the dancer and the instructor? We naturally embody parts of those who we have been around during our lives—primarily through dance. I believe all dancers are instructors to some degree as they all have had so much to give—I could fill many pages with the thousands of people I have had the honor to share space with over the years on dance floors. If I have ever danced in your close presence, thank you.

I feel boundless appreciation for the many dozens of people who helped offer insight into how to teach conversational dance over my life. So much of who I am and what I share as an authentic movement facilitator has been adapted, upcycled, or directly inspired by movement artists and instructors whom I studied with over the past fifteen years, including Christian Swenson (Human Jazz), Wren LaFeet (Cocréa), Loretta Draegan Laurin (Radical Contact Fusion), Maia Sandra (BrainDance), Mykl Werth (Mykl Werth Method), Benjamin Cheney (somatic and creative), Michael Haug (Flow Studios), Martin Keogh (Contact Improvisation), Maggie Zadikov and Bob Czimbal (Vitamin-T), Betty Martin (Wheel of Consent), Ari Levitt (Fusion), Jenny Macke (Open Floor), Jens Wazel (Soul Motion), Tim Anderson (flocking and circle dance), Stan Tag (critical and reflective inquiry), Jamaica Martin (modern and co-creative), Joshua Kiel (co-creative and Argentine tango), Kristi Spencer-Nemec (co-creative), Luke Elder (co-creative), Dorothy Eisenstein (modern), Hughthir White (modern), Michal Lahav (Contact Improvisation), Katherine Cook (Contact Improvisation), Brad Stroller (Contact Improvisation), Paul Millage (Contact Improvisation), Jessica Tartaro (human connection and consent), Jeff Fox (Liquid Lead), Trevor Copp (Liquid Lead), Sarah Peller (Fusion), Stephen Harvey—also known as Wonder (Fusion), Logermund Nathamundi (Kaleidoscope Community Yoga), Leif Hansen (Spark Interaction), David Sewell McCann (How to Story), Juniper Felix (play), and Rudolf Laban (Laban Movement Analysis). For a full list of the dancers who helped inspire my dancing and facilitation, please visit my website.

Finally, a very heartfelt thank you to the whole King family, the Artist House, and the Croft Residency for providing the space and energy that helped propel this project into publication.