iGNLP™ - NLP In Sales Certification

OK so welcome to this section on Rapport and in this section, we are going take a look at what Rapport is, we will look at how to get into rapport with someone you are communicating with and we will look at how to gauge whether or not you are still in rapport and how to maintain that rapport with whoever it is you come into contact with be it at work or in your personal life.

As we have discovered rapport is the process of matching and mirroring a client so that your communication is accepted un critically by the person you are communicating with. And don’t worry we will be coming to what Matching and mirroring is soon enough. But it means is that in that communication conscious resistance is reduced or eliminated completely so that whatever you suggest is considered at the very least by the people you are speaking with and it works both ways by the way, so not just for influencing other people or getting them to see your point of view.

Rapport is the process of matching and mirroring, so what exactly is that and how do you match and mirror someone Well matching and mirroring is the actual process or technique that we use in NLP, to establish and maintain rapport by actually being like the client physically, by following their physiology and through matching or mirroring the movements in their physiology of the person you are speaking with. 

let’s start by expanding on the on breathing for a moment. Breathing, or at least being aware of shifts in breathing is without doubt one of the most useful skills you can develop, and thankfully one of the simplest to match. Now  here is the thing, as you are speaking with your client you will be in peripheral vision, and in that state of awareness, you can notice the way that person is breathing. 

next I want to show you something really cool that will enable you to match a person’s physiology for the purpose of building rapport really easily and covertly and then I have a challenge for you which is a lot of fun as well

In this lecture, I am going to show you how you can use this newly established rapport to influence the person you are communicating with, become more persuasive, and ensure that your message gets across to them in the best possible way.  So let’s take a look at Pacing and leading and towards the end of the lecture I am going to share with you a little trick for testing whether the person you are communicating with is in the optimum state for being influenced or persuaded by your communication.

In the previous lecture we looked at how you can lead a client to influence, persuade and communicate more effectively with them so you now know how to build rapport and I hope you have been trying out your new skills to match and mirror someone so that they unconscious get the feeling that we share a common ground with them. So how do we know we have successfully built rapport, what are the indicators of rapport and how can we spot them.

This lecture is a bonus lecture in many ways and it has been created for those people who say, “yeah this is all well and good but most of my meetings and contact with clients is done on the phone, so what am I supposed to do? - I mean I can’t match physiology on the phone, right?” which is something that has come up more than once on my training, and it’s a fair question and one that comes up a fair bit so let’s deal with that now, because the good news is that you can absolute build rapport on the phone, and you can do it very quickly and very easily by following just a few simple processes.

In this lecture we are going to look at the first of the presuppositions of NLP …..Respect for the other persons model of the world. One of the things we all have in common is our uniqueness. And its true, we may share a lot of similarities with the people that we meet, we may well get bunched into groups of people and get labelled as  british, European, White black, asian.. And a whole load of other labels as well. But the fact of the matter is. 

You are a one off, and there is no one the same as you anywhere on the planet

Behaviour and change are to be evaluated in terms of context and ecology. Now As people actively using NLP or NLP Practitioner, we need to be careful when we are working with our clients that they don’t inadvertently cause themselves additional issues.

In NLP we say, There are no resistant clients, only inflexible communicators. So What do we mean by that. ? Well, to be a really effective communicator involves, assuming responsibility for the communication. And by that I mean 100% responsibility for the communication, how it is received, how well it flows, whether or not it reaches the goal of that communication.

This next presupposition can be a bit of stretch for some people and I am going to offer my own addendum to this presupposition which is how I have been able to accept this presupposition and work with it. As I confess it is the one aspect of NLP that I have wrestled with over the years.

This presupposition need to be considered fairly carefully to understand it. As on the face of it it can seem to contradict another presupposition which states that everyone has the resources they need to be a success and achieve their goal. So you might be thinking to yourself, well if everyone has all the resources they need and they are doing their best with this resources they have - well how can that possibly make sense…?

When we are working with someone using NLP the only thing that we have as an indicator or barometer to what is going on in a clients thinking, the internal representations they have is the outwardly noticeable behaviour. And this of course is the same for our prospects if we are working in sales.

The map is not the territory, is a  phrase coined by Alfred Korzibsky, in his book science and sanity.  So what do we mean when we say that the map is not the territory?.

You are in charge of your mind and therefore your results’. Just makes logical sense if you stop and think about it, No one can control the way you think, the internal representations you have and therefore the behaviour and results you produce are yours and yours alone. Sure people can ultimately attempt to influence you, and they may very well be successful in influencing you, but it is you who creates the internal representations you hold and you who produces the behaviour as a result of them.

The simple fact is that there are no limits to to what you can achieve, be or have, and that you have inside of you absolutely everything you need to be success in whatever you choose to do. Within everyone is an unlimited potential to achieve anything at all. And it has nothing to do with Social standing  IQ, or education… anyone..can achieve absolutely anything they want in life

When a client is operating with conflicts or limiting beliefs, by default they are not operating at their best or operating in alignment with their true purpose in life. And it is when we have these conflicts, which incidentally are not wrong or weird they are just part of life, that a client might feel that they ‘cant do x or y because of this and that’ and these limiting beliefs if we are not careful grow arms and legs

If you are always doing your best to ensure that your behaviour contributes positively to increasing wholeness you won’t go far wrong. SO, in this lecture we are going to look at the presupposition that states that there is no failure only feedback.

. In NLP we are not interested in telling people how to run their lives. That would in itself be dis-empowering. Rather we look to help people to make their own choices to fulfil their goals and enrich their lives.

To establish a good and achievable outcome, that goals needs meet the first key in the list. And that states that the goal or outcome must be be stated in the positive.

Part of successful goal setting and achievement is not only knowing where you want to get to but also knowing where you are currently. This is really important in determining whether or not a goal is realistic or not. Just quickly on that subject, you will hear a lot of personal development folk yelling and beating their chests saying that ‘anything is possible’ that you can do anything if you put your mind to it etc etc. And I tend to agree with that. But you know what, I think a lot of those guys miss the point a little.

The simple fact of the matter is, if you don’t know where you are going, you are unlikely to arrive there. You have heard it said in may different ways before I am sure…. and it is so true, imagine a game of soccer with no goals,  archery without a target. Imagine getting in a car and just driving, with no destination or map and see how you get on.

The question that you will want to be asking yourself and indeed any client that you are working with. ‘How will I know that I am achieving my goal, or have achieved my goal” what evidence will there be along the way, and when you have achieved your goal that will make it absolutely undeniable.

Does the physiology that you are communicating outwardly match the language that you are using, the conscious way in which you talk about what you desire. One of the questions you can ask yourself is “ What will achieving this outcome enable me to do ?

To get the best results, you really must take full and complete ownership of your goal. Or of course your client should.. And that means that for a goal to be truly achievable and viable, it must be initiated by you, so it must be YOUR goal and not someone else.

This time, we are approaching the outcome or goal in the context of meaning. Does the goal you have and the picture of it in your mind tick all of the correct boxes, and does it make sense in context, so in order to get this clear in your mind, you need to ask the question. Where how when and with who do I want this goal?

If you are working with a client and helping them to formulate a strategy for achieving their goals then you want to spend a bit of time on this key, as it is one that people can often skip over and miss out some of the less obvious recourses that will be needed.

Ecology is the study of consequences really. And links also to the cause and effect equation and responsibility.  Whether you like it or not, everything you do, affects something else, physically mentally spiritually, energetically. And The study of ecology gets you to consider the consequences of the pursuit of your goal and its ultimate achievement

This is without doubt the most important part of achieving absolutley anything at all. And its such a simple concept that its amazing how few people really KNOW what it is that they want in life. And of course you cannot realistically hope to achieve anything if you dont know what it is you hope to achieve and by that I mean precisely.

If you are watching this then you are already taking positive action that is in alignment with your goal because you are taking this training.  So how are you going to keep this up ? Well if you are like most people, you have a whole load of stuff to do right? and it all needs to get done doesn’t it?  Well my question is, does it? does it really need to get done? does it really matter?

Imagine, if you had a machine that you could carry around with you that told you whether things were going to plan? Imagine if you could use that machine to make small corrections to your path so that you avoided obstacles and  maintained a steady progress to your ideal life. How good would that be?

This principal comes from the fight flight or freeze response that is hardwired into our  unconscious minds as a means of protection which is fine, however what we tend to do is take this natural unconscious defence mechanism, and do our best to interpret it consciously where it grows arms and legs and becomes a created, conscious fear, that can impact our lives long after the real unconscious fear has gone away.

In this lecture we are going to take a look at the final key to an achievable outcome and that is to operate with a  the physiology and  with the psychology of excellence.

In this lecture lets explore that further and see how we can adopt our product or service offering to meet the needs of our prospects to hit their buying triggers, their hot buttons and compels them to satisfy their needs. And of course understanding your client, will enable you to understand their needs. And therefore satisfy them….. in NLP  we call it respecting the clients model of the world and its an important part of being successful..

In this lecture I want to talk about needs. Because what you will often hear people saying in sales and marketing is ‘You have to establish a need’ well that is kind of true to a point. In fact there is a lecture later on on the course that debunks that idea. However, assuming there is a need to find.. What is it ? Well probably not what you think.

First of all we are going to Start with what Maslow defines as our Physiological needs… Maslow describes our physiological needs as our most basic needs and those needs that need to be satisfied for us to function. These are the needs that thankfully a lot of us take for granted, most of the time, such as our need for food and drink, a roof over our head, basic comfort and undisturbed sleep.

Everyone likes to feel important dont they,  The need for appreciation is a huge motivator for a lot of people. And many of us actively seek out the fulfilment of this need both internally and externally. In personal development circles there is a lot of talk of self esteem and self worth. And these are the natural areas for improvement in our lives that go some way to satisfying this fundamental Esteem need.

Iin NLP we talk about the NLP communication model, which states that external experiences come into our neurology through the 5 senses, where it is then filtered, parts of it are deleted, distorted and generalised, until we have a final perception, an internal representation of that event that forms our state and behaviours. What is interesting about self actualised people, is that they have a very good control over those filters.

Self actualised people are comfortable with who they are and self actualised people, are able to effectively reframe past experiences, to learn from them and take positive feedback from them.  So lets now take a look at some more traits of self actualised people.  And remember these are often aspirational traits

One of the traits that consistently came up when Maslow was investigating self actualised people was their ability to gain a lot of benefit from time spent alone.  He referred to this as having comfort with solitude. And this reflective time comes up again and again in people that are successful despite self actualised people being able to form good relationships with others.

For the most part our prospects decision to buy our products and services is very much an emotional decision….that is how people buy.. As we go about our day to day we encounter sales marketing and this marketing, and if it holds the solutions to satisfying our needs it will trigger a buying interest. At which point with a little skill in sales we can make it easy for our prospects to buy from us

There will be some good prospects for your product or service likely residing at different levels on the hierarchy and one of the biggest mistakes that people make when they are creating a sales message and a  marketing campaign is to create the message based upon THEIR perception of what people want and not the needs of their prospects

At any given time we are likely to be looking to fulfil a need of one kind or another right? , with the motivation for doing so varying, usually due to the time it takes to actually fulfil that need.

Lets assume that the prospect has determined that they have a need and that it needs satisfying. Maybe they have decided that it is time for a new computer, so what happens next ?  Well  the next thing that they will do is seek out information on how best to actually meet that need.  And this is typically when the prospect will go on what I call a product reconnaissance.

When it comes to evaluating alternatives.. there are are a couple of other  options and these are whether the product or service is likely to be a significant purchase and by that I mean cost a significant amount of money. Or a low risk purchase of just a few dollars or so.

The prospect has taken a few steps toward making a buying decision, they have identified a need either unconsciously or consciously after an event that has highlighted the need to them, and of course this might very well have been as a result of our  sales or marketing efforts.

The first thing to mention is that your product or service must deliver on its promise. That is a given, and if you are an ethical marketer and sales person  that won’t be a problem for you at all.  However in the General buying strategy in NLP we talk about re-assurance strategies which run post sale. And These tell us that the job of sales person is not over at the point of sale.

The first thing that we need to do when we are entering the sales process is to build rapport.. If you establish rapport wit h your prospect you are going to find offering them your product or service a lot easier .. its as simple as that.. …

I mentioned we ask questions to get the feedback that we need to enable us to then feedback the benefits of our product to the prospect right? And by doing that we are able to build the motivation in the client buy establishing and building value in our product or service by matching it to the prospects needs wants or desires.

Your prospects for the most part are not interested in the features of your product or service. They dont want the technical jargon, the technobabble that we entrepreneurs like to spew out whenever we can. Remember they are interested in the benefit your features will give them. And ideally the emotional benefit

The first of the objections that you are likely to come up against is “I dont have enough money ‘ .. now if you get this response from a prospect it will mean one of a couple of things. First of all and most importantly you have not built enough value in your product or service offering.

The direction filter is a what’s know as a complex Meta program an is something that is taught at Master Practitioner level and it allows you as a practitioner to discover how your client is motivated. Whether they are motivated towards the things that they want or away from the things that they dont want. .

The power of reciprocity in sales and marketing circles has been known for ages and you will see it all over the place and there Is a good reason for this and that is that It works.  The concept of reciprocity is based on the idea that if someone gives something to us, in some way we feel obliged to give something back to them. We feel obliged to reciprocate.

As a rule, we human beings prefer to have a life that is in balance and for the most part we resist change and this is something that if you work in personal development circles you will have come across a great many times. In fact so strong is the desire to keep things consistent, that we may even persist with negative or damaging behaviour rather than face the unknown world that changing it would open up..

This is a really interesting concept that states that we are more likely to place a higher value on something that we already own. And this appreciation effect is present in our minds even if the goods themselves haven’t appreciated in value at all.

This is again a very effective technique and it draws upon the concept of anchoring. Not conditioned response anchoring that you may be used to in NLP but more expectational anchoring.  And the counter intuitive nature of this technique is that by getting the prospect to turn down your offer, you set the bar, you set the expectation of cost or rather value.

This is a technique that I use in general conversation and when I am working with a client to get buy in to an idea as well so this technique is really flexible.  Now this is known as the Franklin effect as allegedly Benjamin Franklin spotted the effectiveness of this technique when he was in office and battling a  political opponent…

This  works on the principal that when we have something, when we possess it, we attach more value to it then when we didn’t or when we dont…   Or…… that we don’t attach as much value to things we want vs the things we have

No-one likes to think they have missed out on something good right?. In fact everyone likes a deal. If you get a bargain on an item, have you ever noticed ho you feel compelled to tell people about it?. It almost fulfils an esteem need doesn’t it?  when we tell people how smart we are for getting a deal we tend to feel good about ourselves dont we?.

One of my frustrations when I am dealing with new business start ups and owners is their often complete misunderstanding of this concept of exposure. In my experience, generally… peoples sales &  marketing efforts are woefully inadequate and worse than that are short lived. A lot of people and a I mean a lot of people, seems to think that popping an advert in the local paper , or speaking to half a dozen people is all that is needed to start and build a business but it simply isn’t the case

What we are going to be looking at in this lecture  is the decoy effect which utilises a dummy offering that drives your audience though to the real offering you are looking for them to take a hold of.  The way it works is like this.. You have your core offering, the product or service that you are looking to sell to your audience. Underneath that you have a discounted or cheaper version of the same thing. 

In the case of pricing products this boils down to, do we continue the engagement process positively or is there anything to distract the prospect which they may consider to be less than positive or indeed negative. Are they gaining through their experience with us  or losing.

Ask the question who would buy your products its really important to get super clear on this.. the fact of the matter is that the more detailed and refined this gets the better results you will get.

To discover how to find your prospects you are going to need to step into their shoes by using perceptual positions. So you are going float down into your ideal prospect and see through their eyes and then ask.. Where does bob or whatever you have called your avatar, where does her or she hang out?

The truth of the matter is that you are going to have to test out a few of these and evaluate which ones are most effective for your market. So how are you going to do that Well  the first thing to do is to identify where it is that your market hangs out. And by that I mean both online and offline.

Your brand is crucial if you want to have successful sales and marketing campaigns. Remember we spoke about consistency?well  If you haven’t done so already decide on your image, and your corporate objectives. What does your brand stand for? What are its values and beliefs? A little tip would be to imagine your business as a person and then inquisitively explore its personality.

The responsibility for ensuring that these tools are used in a responsible way lays with you. And these keys to ethical sales  will ensure that you have successful campaigns and that your reputation stays in tact. So lets take a look.

Ok so the first one of these  is the concept of Ecology and we looked at ecology earlier in the course if you recall.…

We have rattled through some seriously powerful tools very quickly in this course. So my advice to you now would be to go through the entire course again and to even do that a couple of times, and make a few notes as you go through and then do some further investigation into the points that leap out and grab you.

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